137d
Subj : Re: premiere summary?
To   : alt.tv.er
From : Dropping The Helicopter
Date : Thu Sep 29 2005 06:12:56

From Newsgroup: alt.tv.er

sld@uchicago.edu wrote:
> Beware the dgajdgsj@dagsjhdgja.org.com, my son! The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!
> : sld@uchicago.edu wrote:
> :> i am the last surviving person in america with broadcast television,
> : Ahem, second-to-last. ;-)
> 
> now we /definitely/ need to start a club.  8)
> 

I do however have an HDTV (over the free airwaves as God intended, none 
of this satellite or cable 
pay-to-watch-commercials-interspersed-with-crap-and-Hitler-documentaries 
crappola).  That doesn't disqualify me does it?  I even had to buy a new 
antenna since the rabbit ears didn't cut it anymore... ok they never cut 
it, but still, for the amount I paid for that bastage it should be able 
to receive smoke signals at night in the rain.

> 
> :> oh, and neela was fervently angsty at someone but i couldn't
> :> make out who or why.
> : Howie Mandel, for caring too much.
> 
> see, now, this is the problem with getting TV show fandom details off
> a newsgroup -- i can't tell if you mean literally Howie Mandel or are
> just being snarky.

I can't even tell myself any more.

;-)

I hate to ruin it for you... but what the hell. ;-)  A more accurate 
picture of what happened behind the scenes and who the guy was may be 
gleaned from this fabricated conversation which is nonetheless 100% 
accuracte:

Casting Director 1: "Hmmm, this resident that Neela gets, who are you 
thinking?"
Casting Director 2: "Bull from night court, all the way."
Casting Director 1: "Hmm, I was thinking Howie Mandel.  Well, I'm sure 
we can get both of them cheap, so lets offer it to both of them and see 
who's the lowest bidder.  I mean, its not like we care about the quality 
of this stink-o-rama!"
CD2: "Hheheehehee, right!  We're practically phoning it in!"
CD1: "Bahahahhahaaa, right you are CD2!  By all rights we should all be 
sentenced to death by electric chair for foisting this travesty upon the 
public!"
CD2: "You said it CD1!  Well, lemme get on the phone...."

[Ten minutes later]

CD2: "Well what do you know.  They both hung up on me."
CD1: "That certainly puts us in a bind, since in that ten minutes you 
were gone the writers produced a script that can only be played by Bull 
or Howie Mandel!  Whatever shall we do!?!"
CD2: "Hang on.  What was the name of that place where we got the Doogie 
Hauser lookalike?"
CD1: "You mean 'Washed-Up Celebrity Lookalikes, Inc'?"
CD2: "'Washed-Up Celebrity Lookalikes, Inc'!!  Yes!  I'll be back in a jif!"

[CD2 on phone, talking to WUCL, Inc.  We can't hear the other side of 
the conversation]

CD2: "Hello WUCL, Inc?  Yes, I need a Bull or Howie Mandel Lookalike on 
the double!"
[barely audible voice coming from phone]
CD2: "You have a guy who looks like both Bull AND Howie Mandel?!?!?! 
I'LL PAY ANY PRICE!  Not to exceed cab fare and a cheap hotel room."

[CD2 returns to CD1]

CD2: "Oh CD1, our prayers have been answered!"
CD1: "Satan has finally agreed to our proposed pact?"
CD2: "No, even better than that!  WUCL, Inc. is sending over a man 
who... brace yourself... LOOKS LIKE BOTH BULL FROM NIGHTCOURT AND HOWIE 
MANDEL!"
CD1: "OH HAPPY DAY!  ONCE AGAIN 'ER' IS SAVED DESPITE OUR NON-EFFORTS!"

True story.

> leaning towards snarky though; i'm pretty sure that
> the Creepy Voiceover Guy would have mentioned the new celebrity guest
> star of the week.

Only if the new celebrity guest was in no wise going to appear in the 
episode (q.v. Danny Glover).

> especially since i imagine it would be a very touching
> episode. or maybe one that could change the ER forever... tough call.
> 

Heeeeeeeeeheheheheheeee!  Somebody should make a list all of those, sort 
of like how BBSpot lists the "In a world..."'s in his movie trailer reviews.

> 
> :> i gather from
> :> Unkie Copter's postings that Danny Glover was still not present,
> : Yes, I am as shocked and amazed as you are.
> 
> it's a bit of a joke.  i'm thinking that really he's just getting
> paid for the episode trailers and that one doorway shot last season,
> but he's never going to make it on screen.  perhaps the trailers are
> (and the right to mention his name in the promo voiceovers) are all
> they can afford?
> 

Heheheheee, you bring up a good point: Glover's had more screen time on 
the promos than on the actual show!!!!!!

How very very sad and hilarious simultaneously!

> 
> : Alex Sargent didn't do a whole lot at all in this episode.  Seriously, 
> : he had like two lines.  Neither was Alex York-style whiny, it was more 
> : "stunned".
> 
> if being stunned leads to being silent, I Wholeheartedly Approve.  'cos
> i'm cranky like that.  :)
> 

Not silent, but about as close as you can get and still get paid scale 
for a speaking part.

> 
> cheers,
> --s.
>

.

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