e75
Subj : Re: This Train Just Went Splat!
To   : alt.tv.er
From : npardue
Date : Sun Sep 25 2005 15:53:01

From Newsgroup: alt.tv.er


MauiJNP wrote:
> >
> > actually, I meant what I said (since I would never argue against the
> > nutritousness of breastmilk because I am aware of how nutritious it
> > is).
> > The reason I said there are no healthy reasons (as is
> > emotional/psychological health) is because I believe that it crosses
> > boundaries issues (among other things) when a child who is more or less
> > old
> > enough to know what's going on to breastfeed straight from the breast
> > (whether in private or public).
> >
> >
> > Why?  Why does it affect bounderies?  Why is it wrong for a child to
> > 'know what's going on?'  Young children don't view breasts as sexual.
> >
>
> I understand that young children don't view breasts as sexual.  That is not
> where I am going with this at all.  I just think that kids benefit from
> learning boundaries and respecting others personal space early on.

Sure. But I'm assuming that you have problem with the concept of
parents hugging and kissing their children, or hugging/being kissed by
them.  That's still personal space, right? Within the context of a
breastfeeding relationships, boundaries can STILL be set. (And usually
are.)  Boundaries related to when and where it's ok to nurse, how it's
acceptable to ask, and so on.

>
>
>
> >
> > Would it be right for a 15 or 16 year old to share their parents
> > bed just because it is comforting to both parties?  Do you think these
> > situations cross any boundaries?
> >
> > With a teenager you do start getting into potential sexual issues.  But
> > preschoolers don't see breatfeeding as sexual.  (And yes, I've shared a
> > bed with my daughter on occassion.)
> >
>
>
> I don't see the difference.  Both are boundary issues to me.  But since you
> see a difference I'd be curious to know where would you draw the line for
> bed sharing?

As with other issues, it depends on the context and the family
involved.
Again, IRL, it's pretty common for young children to co-sleep with
their parents.  As the kids get older, they typically move into their
own beds, either due to their own preference or that of their parents.
If older children/teens are still routinely bedsharing (esp. with a
parent of the opposite sex), it's much more likely to be a symptom of
another problem than a cause of it.


 What about having a child seeing a parent naked and vice versa
> (remembering that at least partial nudity plays into breastfeeding)?

Again, no lines can be drawn. Depends on the situation.  There are many
families where parents of both sexes walk around naked, or partially so
much of the time, or see each other in the bathroom, and it's not a big
deal. As I said in another post, my husband opted to 'cover up' around
our daughter when she was probably 3 or 4.  I have no problem, even
now, being naked around my daughter. (I don't tend to walk around the
house naked, but if I'm changing and she's in my room, that's fine.)
If my child was a boy the situation might be different, but it would
still be about personal feelings.  It's about what makes the people
invovled feel comfortable or uncomfortable.  At our local YMCA, boys up
to, IIRC, 4 years old can be brought into the woman's locker room. I
think that's pretty usual.
I will also say that childbirth itself tends to erode modesty. When
you've just had half the hospital staff looking up your business end
.... there aint much left that's gunna make you blush, and having your
toddler see your breasts doesn't even come close!

Naomi

.

0