2000
Subj : Re: This Train Just Went Splat!
To   : alt.tv.er
From : npardue
Date : Sat Sep 24 2005 12:18:48

From Newsgroup: alt.tv.er


MauiJNP wrote:
> >
> >  It was, unfortunately, another
> > example of the show playing breastfeeding for laughs.  Some kids that
> > old DO still breastfeed, and there's nothing wrong with it.
> >
> > Yes, there is.
> >
> > Do tell?  What's wrong with it?
> >
>
>
> This is just me and I don't want to start a big fight or anything, but I
> think there is definately something wrong with breastfeeding a child over
> the age of 2 (and even thats a stretch for me to agree with as I believe
> breastfeeding should never last longer than 1 year).   Correct me if I am
> wrong and maybe I may change my opinion but as I see it now, there is no
> healthy reasons to breastfeed a child past the age or 2.

I'm assuming this is a typo and you mean 'no health reasons.'
Breastmilk is a nutritious, healthful food for babies over the age of
one ... and over the age of 2.  It is easily digested and contains many
vitamins and minerals. Unlike cows milk, children are never allgeric to
it. After about 6-12 months it is no longer sufficient as a sole source
of nutrition for a child, but it doesn't lose its value.

 If you think that
> the child needs breastmilk for nutritional value, pump it and give it to
> them in a cup.

Why would a mother want to go to the comparative hassle of pumping and
storing milk when it's so easily available straight from the source?
Why make more work for yourself if you don't have to? (Also, for
toddlers and preschoolers, a large part of the benefit of breastmilk
(more on this later) is the comfort aspect. They don't get that
drinking from a cup.

 If you argue that you are too poor to buy them real milk,
> pump and give it to them in a cup.

Ummm... breastmilk IS real milk. It is real human milk.  The milk we
buy at the store is real milk from cows (or goats, or soybeans, or rice
.....).


  If you argue that it strengthens the
> bond between mother and child, there are plently of other ways to form or
> maintain a strong bond between mother and child that doesn't involve
> breastfeeding.  Many many fathers have very strong bonds with their children
> without breastfeeding.

Absolutely. No arguemnt there.  There are many ways parents bond with
their children.  Mothers who never breastfeed bond with their children.
Fathers bond with their children.  But the fact that there are many
options available doesn't make any one of them automatically wrong.  If
a mother and child find that breastfeeding is a valuable source of
comfort and connection for them, there is no reason to stop just
because the child has passed some arbitrary birthday. (I mean, if
breastfeeding is fine for a baby who is 11 months, 3 weeks, why is it
suddenly unnessessary one week later? If it's acceptable for a toddler
of 1 year, 11 months, 3 weeks, why is it suddenly 'definitely wrong'
one week later?

 The act of breastfeeding an infant is more
> reasonable to me because they are helpless and need constant help and
> attention to sustain their lives.


I guess I'm not following this argument.  Why  is it ok for helpless
infants, but not for older kids?  Many helpless infants are also
bottlefed. Maybe I'm misreading you, but what it SOUNDS like you are
saying is, essentially, "I guess it's ok to breastfeed as long as the
child is too young to understand what he's doing ... that it's really
sort of disgusting but I guess there are enough health benefits to make
it acceptable for a tiny baby." Please do correct me if I'm jumping to
conclusions here.

 A 2 year old can talk, play, drink out of
> a cup, feed themselves, eat solid foods, eat a variety of foods without
> getting sick, etc.

Very true.  But they can also breastfeed, and sometimes do. (Also worth
noting that many people who find it 'wrong' for a toddler to breastfeed
see nothing wrong with a toddler drinking from a bottle or sucking on a
pacifier.)

 When I was younger, my friend had a younger brother who
> was breastfed till he was 6 or so.  Even if we were out in public, he would
> ask for it and she would just sit down, and he would stick his whole head up
> her shirt.  In my opinion, breastfeeding will leave a child with no concept
> of healthy boundaries and will cause problems in the future.  But like I
> said, that's just my opinion.  Feel free to try and change it by offering
> other viewpoints for me to consider if you wish.

And that is a VERY unusual situation. (Just as the scenario on the show
was.) IRL, mothers  often choose to do what is called 'child-led
weaning.' Meaning that,  they continue to breastfeed as long as the
child seems to want it.  The usual pattern once the child is well into
todderhood is 'don't offer -- don't refuse.' So if the child asks to
nurse, you let them, but you don't necessarily offer it. (Though there
will certainly be times [like at bedtime or naptime] where it's assumed
by both parties that nursing happens.)
Now, having said that, MOST mothers who opt for child-led weaning DO
understand and set bounderies. If the setting is not suitable for
nursing, they tell the child no, and offer some more acceptable
replacement. (A snack, a drink, a hug, whatever.)
With child-led weaning, all child DO eventually wean themselves. Most
do so somewhere between around 18 months and 3 years.  A few will
continue to 4, a very few to 5 or 6. It's not wrong. It's not sick.
It's not harmful. It's just a different pattern of development for that
child. All children are biologically programmed to 'want to' grow up.
Some just do it at different rates. In most 'natural' societies,
children breastfeed well past their first birthdays. (And I know of
plenty of kids that age in our own society who suck their thumbs or
sleep with blankies or teddies.  It's really no different in
principle.)

And, FWIW, the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends breastfeeding
"For a minimum of one year, and as long thereafter and mother and child
wish." The World Health Organization recommends it "to 2 years and
beyond." There are no health problems connected with extended
breastfeeding for mother and baby (assuming that mom is eating a
relatively balanced diet, and baby is getting addition foods after 6-12
months.) And for mom there are clear health benefits. (Reduced risk of
breast cancer being among the most important.)

It's rare to see older children breastfed in OUR society.  That's for
two reasons. First, most mothers do choose to wean their
children.(Often well before their first birthday.) And second, most
children who do breastfeed past infancy DON'T tend to do it out in
public.  Their mothers DO set boundaries. (And if they do it out in
public, they can usually be pretty subtle about it. Expeienced nursing
moms can breastfeed without making a spectacle of it.

(As for the scenario on the show, what would have been more realistic
[though not as 'funny' ...] would have been for mom to go up to a nurse
and say that her son is really stressed from sitting in the crowded,
noisy waiting room. Is there somewhere quiet they could wait? And then
they get directed to the family room where the boy, who IS probably
stressed and tired from being in the crowded, noisy waiting room, calms
himself down by nursing. [Since, at that age, that's usually what it's
all about.])


FWIW, I breastfed for 14 months. At that point I chose to wean, and
Shaina weaned easily. If she has not, I wouldn't have pushed it at that
point. It's hard to say how long I would have chosen to continue if she
continued to resist weaning. I can say, 'from the outside looking in'
that I wouldn't feel comfortable breastfeeding a 4 or 5 or 6 year old
child. But that doesn't mean it's wrong for a different mother/child
pair.  And, who knows, if Shaina had been very attached to
breastfeeding, maybe I would have found myself still nursing or 4 or 5
or 6 and would have been fine with it.

Naomi
(I've let my membership lapse, so I can no longer put here that I
52
'm a
Certified Lactation Educator, but the knowlege is still in my brain!)

.

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