                     HITCH-HIKER'S GUIDE TO THE GALAXY
                                 (Infocom)

Ok  everyone,  hang  on  to your seats (and your towels!); this is probably
going  to  be  the wildest adventure game you'll ever play...unless Infocom
comes out with a sequel, which they just might do!

Before  we  get started, a few words of advice. This is not the only way of
getting  through the game. Many of the problems and situations (such as the
whale's  belly) have more than one solution. So, you might want to save the
game  from  time  to  time, and experiment a little, to see if you can find
other ways of doing things (actually, it's wise to save the game anyway, in
case you make a mistake).   Also, consult the Guide frequently during play;
you  will gain some useful insights to some of the objects you come across,
and  even some helpful information (sometimes). And remember, no matter how
bad things may look: DON'T PANIC!

 Here  you  are, mild-mannered Arthur Dent, about to start the worst day of
your life, although you don't know that...yet! Actually, the day is already
getting  off to a bad start, since you've just woken up in the dark, with a
really  bad  headache  (and it's all downhill from here).   The first thing
you  need  to do is stand up and turn on the light. That's a little better,
anyway!  Or maybe not, since you're having a hard time getting coordinated.
Grab  the  dressing  gown  and  put  it on, then look in the pocket. Ah, an
analgesic! Take that, then get the screwdriver and the toothbrush, and head
South to the porch (did you hear a tree fall? Rather omnious, isn't it?).

Here  you  find something no modern home should be without: junk mail. Take
the mail, and go on outside. Uh-oh! There's a very big bulldozer on its way
to  level  your home, and there's Prosser standing by, watching it all. Are
you  going  to take this lying down?   You bet you are! That's the only way
to  stop  it:  lie  down in front of the bulldozer. No matter how close the
thing gets, don't panic; it won't run you over (of course, in a short time,
it  really  won't matter what happens to the house, but you don't know that
yet).  Just  wait  awhile  until  Ford Prefect shows up (read the junk mail
while you wait).

Ford seems a trifle preoccupied with the sky, but he is aware enough of you
to  try and give you back your towel. Don't take it, or he'll leave and you
will  be  a  lot worse off than you ever imagined (can things be worse than
this?  They  sure can!).   Instead of taking the towel, ask Ford about your
home.  He will eventually come to his senses, and realize what is going on.
When  that  happens, he will be able to persuade Prosser to take your place
in front of the bulldozer while the two of you head off to the pub to hoist
a  few.    As  soon  as  Prosser takes your place, go South and West to the
pub.

Buy  a  cheese (?) sandwich while you wait for him to arrive (when you read
the  description,  you'll  understand about the "?"). When Ford gets there,
he'll  buy  you  a  few beers. Drink only three of them.   Around about the
time  you've  finished  the third one, there will be a loud crash. In fact,
it's  the  sound  of your home being demolished by the bulldozer (that will
teach  you  to  trust  anyone  who wears a digital watch!). Don't take that
sitting  down,  leave  the  pub  and return to where your house used to be.
Along the way, you'll see a starving dog.

While  you may wonder if anything could eat that sandwich and survive, give
it  to  the  dog,  who  will  (amazingly!)  enjoy  it immensely, ignoring a
microscopic  space  fleet  that  whizzes  past  (remember that fleet). Then
continue  on  to  the ruins of your home (Ford will be right behind you).
And  just  about  now,  to put a perfect ending to a perfect day (which has
just  barely  begun),  the Vogon construction ships appear, to demolish the
Earth  to  make  way  for a new Hyper-space Bypass (hmmm, maybe Ford wasn't
kidding  when  he  said  he was from another planet, or that Earth would be
destroyed in a short time).

Still,  don't panic...wait until Ford drops the Sub-etha signalling device.
There  won't be much time after that, so pick up the device, push the green
button  (if  you  dropped  the  Aunt's thing, have no fear: it will turn up
again later), and you will be in....the dark.   Get used to that, you'll be
spending a lot of time there before this adventure is over. Notice that, at
first,  you  can't  do  much. All your five senses seem to be out of order.
However,  if  you  wait, and read the descriptions very carefully, you will
see that eventually, it mentions only 4 of your senses.

The  one  that's missing is the one you can use. Keep this in mind, it will
come  in  handy later.   Right now, your nose seems to be working again, so
smell.  Sniff,  sniff. Ugh! Whatever it is, it sure is strong! You are also
now  dimly aware of a shadow, so look at it. Well, well, it turns out to be
Ford Prefect! And, looking around, you find yourself in the hold of a Vogon
ship.  Certainly  better than being on Earth (or where Earth used to be).
There's a glass case with an Atomic Vector Plotter inside, but don't bother
with  it  yet.  You have something else to do first, namely, obtain a Babel
Fish. That shouldn't be hard, right?

All you need to do is push the button on the dispensing machine, and you'll
have  one,  right?  Hehehehehehe!    Those  Babel  Fish are pretty slippery
characters  (but,  you  may have found that out already for yourself!). And
the  cleaning  robots  are  certainly  no  help; they seem to have only one
mission  in  life:  grabbing your Fish away from you. Well, we really can't
let that happen!

So,  first  thing  to  do is remove your gown and hang it on the hook. Now,
wait for Ford to curl up, then get the towel and the satchel. Put the towel
over  the drain, and the satchel in front of the robot panel. Now comes the
part  that  drives  most  people  crazy:  they  don't  know how to stop the
upper-half-of-the-room  cleaning  robot.  But, it's so simple: just put the
junk  mail  on top of the satchel.   Now you can push the button! Then step
back and watch the Rube Goldberg shenanigans, which end with the Babel Fish
stuck  solidly  in  your  ear  (squish!). Bet you never thought outer space
would  be like this! However, now that you have the Fish, you'll be able to
understand anyone who talks to you.

By  the  way,  somewhere along the line, you will get a message that one of
the  phrases  you've used was instrumental in starting a war that wiped out
most  of  a small galaxy. There is nothing you can do about this; no matter
how  you try, it will come to pass. Rather unfortunate, isn't it? Even more
unfortunate,  sooner  or  later,  the  survivors  will  figure out how that
happened,  and  they  will  be  looking  for revenge....but more about that
charming  prospect  later.    Right now, press the switch on the case. This
will  tell  you  what  the  code word is that will open the case so you can
snatch the plotter.

Make  careful  note  of  what  word is required; it is chosen randomly each
time.  Too  bad  you have to listen to some pretty rotten poetry to get the
word.    Speaking of poetry, in a short while, you and Ford will be hustled
into  the  Captain's quarters, and strapped into Poetry Appreciation Chairs
(worser  things  could  happen,  but right now, you probably can't think of
any).  After  the Vogon Captain has tortured you with the first verse, grit
your teeth and enjoy the poetry. He will then, to your dismay, read you the
next verse.   While you could easily live without hearing it, in this case,
you do need to listen so you know the word to type in.

Fortunately,  after  the  second verse, you don't have to enjoy the poetry.
Unfortunately, since you survived both verses, the Captain is going to have
you  and  Ford  shoved  out the airlock (you have now found something worse
than  appreciating Vogon poetry). While Ford tries to talk the guard out of
spacing the two of you, type in the word from the poem. You must put quotes
around the word, or it won't go through. Then get the plotter when the case
opens.  Now just wait awhile, and you and Ford will soon be in the airlock,
with  very  little time left. In fact, time has just run out, and there you
are in the depths of space.

Lucky  for  you,  the  Guide explained how to survive all of 30 seconds out
there!  Well,  perhaps  not  so  lucky,  since, considering the vastness of
space,  it's quite improbable that another ship will come by to pick you up
before the 30 seconds run out. So naturally, 29 seconds later, the Heart of
Gold  (the  HOG)  comes  past  and  picks you up. There you are in the dark
again.  Wait and watch the display, until it no longer says you can't hear.
Then  listen,  and  you  will hear the sound of the star drive. Now it gets
cute:  the program will lie to you, and say there is an exit to port. Don't
you believe it! Go Aft instead, and you will be in Entry Bay 2.

You  can  ignore the brochure, if you like. Go Aft again, and you're in the
Fore  End of the corridor. Here, Ford will find you you, and take you up to
the  bridge, where you meet Zaphod and Trillian. Actually, you've seen them
both  before, at a party you attended a short time ago. While you listen to
the chatter between Zaphod and Ford, you can begin to drop some items here.
You can drop the plotter, screwdriver, gown, and signalling device. By this
time,  everyone else has gone to the sauna, leaving you alone on the Bridge
with  Eddie,  the  shipboard  computer.  Don't  mind  Eddie,  he's a little
over-protective, but he's a good sort at heart.

In  fact,  you  can  pretty much ignore him, as well as Marvin the Paranoid
Robot,  although Marvin will be important much later on (depressing as that
may  sound).  Ok,  time  to prepare for some pretty weird happenings! First
you'll  need  the  spare  improbability  drive. So, go down, then Aft. Keep
going  Aft. The program will tell you that the Engine Room is dangerous. It
LIES!  Don't  listen  to  it,  just  keep going Aft. Eventually, you'll get
there.  Of course, as soon as you're there, you'll want to look around. The
program  will  tell  you there is nothing to see. That, too, is a lie! Keep
looking, and you'll find that there are some things to see here, especially
the spare drive.

Don't  worry  about  the  tools for now; you can leave them where they are.
Once  you  have the drive, go back to the Fore End corridor, then head Port
where  you'll  find  the  Nutrimat  (try  consulting  the  Guide  about the
Nutrimat). Touch the pad, and you will be provided with a delicious (?) cup
of  advanced  tea substitute. Fortunately, you don't have to drink it. Take
the  cup  (ignore  the carton, it's useless) and return to the bridge. Drop
the cup and the drive. Now, plug the small plug in to the small receptacle,
and put the plotter's dangly bit into the tea substitute. Ok, you are about
to  have  some pretty strange experiences, but before you throw the switch,
some  words  of  advice  and  caution. There are five scenarios (all rather
short, but all of them important), that have to be completed.

They come up in random order, so each one has its own little section of the
walkthru. The lead-in to each of them is that familiar dark area, where you
have  to wait until one of your senses is working again. You will be in the
dark area again when the scenario ends (and you will have to listen for the
drive  sound),  which  will  then bring you back to the HOG. Also, be aware
there  are  times  that you may briefly go back to one of the scenarios you
have  already  completed.  You just sort of bounce in and out of those, but
you do have to spend time waiting in the dark.

I  couldn't  find  a  way around this, so you'll just have to live with it.
Finally,  it's  a  good  idea  to  save  the  game  after you complete each
scenario, just in case. With that said, it's time, so push the switch! When
you  come  out  of  the  dark, you find yourself in the Lair of the dreaded
Bugblatter Beast. There are, perhaps, better places you could wish yourself
to  be  in,  considering  that, among its many charms, Bugblatter has those
tungsten-carbide  vast-pain  claws  (perhaps he was a dentist in a previous
life).  However,  you  are  here  for  a purpose, so you'll just have to do
something  about the Beast. Consulting the Guide tells you that Bugblatters
are incredibly stupid, which is certainly the case.

In  the  meantime,  the  Beast is bearing down on you, demanding your name.
Don't  be shy, introduce yourself, then run like heck East out of the Lair.
Pick  up  one of the sharp stones, and then cover your head with the towel.
Old Buggy is so dumb, he thinks that, since you can't see him, he can't see
you.  But,  this  won't  last  for  very long, so you have to fool him, and
quickly.   Lucky  for  you,  this  isn't  hard.  Carve  your  name  on  the
Bugblatter's  memorial.  When  he  sees  the name there, he will think he's
already  eaten  you,  which  is  why  he  can't  see  you  (dumb  may be an
understatement here).

The Beast will then curl up for a nap, leaving you free (after removing the
towel!)  to re-enter the Lair and then go SouthWest. Here you will find the
skeleton  of  some  poor soul clutching a Nutrimat Computer Interface Card.
Take  the  card,  and  just  wait around for awhile. You will be mistakenly
captured  as  a  Bugblatter  Beast  (talk  about  insults!),  but  you will
eventually  be  freed, and have some other adventures along the way, before
you find yourself back in the dark again. When you get back to the HOG, you
can  drop the asteroid paint chipper and the interface card in the Fore End
before going up to the Bridge (you'll need the interface later, but there's
no  need  to  drag  it  around  with you now). Once on the Bridge, push the
switch again, and you'll be back in the dark.

The  dark  ends with something liquidy to the touch. In fact, you find your
fingers bathing in a glass of wine. Coming to your senses, you realize that
you  are  now  Trillian, and you are at the party where you (she?) met both
Arthur and a mysterious man named Phil. Take a good look at Arthur, and you
will see he has a huge ball of fluff on his jacket. Just what you want, but
your hands are full. Drop the plate you're holding, and get the fluff. Open
your  handbag and put the fluff in it, then get the plate again (otherwise,
the  pushy hostess won't leave you alone). Now, all you need to do is wait,
trying   not   to  be  bored  to  tears  by  Arthur's  feeble  attempts  at
conversation. Give Phil a look, and shortly he will come over, and take you
out to his scooter.

As  you  blast  off,  everything  once again becomes.....dark. Now you find
yourself  standing  in  a  country lane, holding a satchel. The place looks
familiar.  In  fact, it's the lane outside Arthur's home, and this time you
seem to be Ford Prefect. Those Vogons will be arriving soon, so there's not
much time. Open the satchel, and take the satchel fluff, the towel, and the
sub-etha  signalling  device. Go North, and there you will see Arthur lying
in front of the bulldozer. With a certain feeling of deja vu, you offer him
the  towel.  However, instead of taking it, he asks you about his home. You
suddenly  realize what is going on (not that it really matters, considering
what will shortly happen!).

In a moment of magnanimity (or possibly madness), you decide to take Arthur
hitchhiking  with you. But first, you have to deal with Prosser. Go over to
him, and ask him to lie down in front of the bulldozer. He'll make a little
fuss, but you'll manage to persuade him. Now, you and Arthur can hurry over
to  the  pub,  and  drink  some  beer (remember to buy peanuts). Sit there,
drinking  your  beer  (no  more  than  three!), meditating on why Arthur is
taking  the  imminent  demise of the world so calmly, until the house falls
and  Arthur goes tearing out. Follow him to the ruins of his home. Drop the
satchel,  and put the satchel fluff on top of it. Now wait. The Vogon ships
will  appear,  the  winds  will pick up, and you'll start fumbling with the
device. Oops! You just dropped it!

Fortunately, it rolls over by Arthur, who picks it up and looks at it. Also
fortunately,  Arthur  manages  to  push  the  right  button, and everything
becomes....dark.  You  come  out of the dark to find that you're now Zaphod
Beeblebrox,  the  President of the Universe. In fact, you're on your way to
steal the Heart of Gold (with a little help from Trillian).

Your speedboat zooms towards its destination, search the seat carefully and
you  will  find  seat  fluff  and a key. The key opens the toolbox, but you
don't  need  to  do that now. Just make sure you take the box; you might be
needing it later. Now, if you continue on your present course, you'll never
make  it between the cliffs and the spire (or maybe you know that already).
The  trick  is  to  make the auto-pilot do the hard work, so steer the boat
towards  the  rocky  spire. The spire gets closer...closer....closer....and
then,  at  last!  the  auotpilot  wakes up, just in time, and steers you to
safety!

Whew,  that  was  a close one. Ok, now you can stand up and go North to the
Dais,  where  the dedication ceremonies will be held. Wait around, enjoying
the  cheers  of  the  crowd  (read  the banner if you like), until Trillian
appears.  She  will  jump  out  of the crowd, and hold a gun to one of your
heads.  The  guards  are  a little hesitant about what to do, so now's your
chance:  tell  them not to shoot. After a few moments, they will drop their
rifles  into  a  pile..just  what you've been waiting for. Tell Trillian to
shoot  the  rifles. As the weapons disappear, you and Trillian make a break
for the HOG! You made it!! But...everything seems to be getting....dark.

Ah  ha,  fooled  ya!  I bet when you heard the sound of the star drive, you
thought  you were back on the HOG. But, surprise! you're in the War Room of
a mighty war fleet approaching Earth. (at least you're yourself).

Hmmmm, looking around, you see an ultra-plasmic awl. Pick that up, since it
might  come  in  handy later. Now, take a good look at the aliens. They are
Vl'hurg  and  G'guvunt. Sound familiar? Ring any bells? Remember that small
galaxy  you  pretty  much  wiped  out  with your careless words? Well, they
finally  figured  out what happened, and now they are on their way to Earth
to  take  revenge!  (Uh oh) You can't really stop them, so just wait around
and  hope for the best. The fleet gets closer and closer, and then arrives.
Amazingly,  the  first  thing  they see is....a huge dog happily munching a
cheese (?) sandwich!

The  sight of this giant monster, contentedly eating, softens the hearts of
the  Vl'hurgs  and  G'guvunts. With a new mission in life, they turn around
and  go  home.  Along  the  way,  they  transport  you  back  to  the  HOG.
Unfortunately, since the aliens are microscopic, so are you.....and you end
up materializing inside your own head! But wait....maybe there is a madness
in  this  method,  after all (or is that the other way around?). Move along
the  mazy of synapses (any direction will do, they're all alike), until you
come  to  the  particle.  Look  at the particle, and you will see it's your
common sense. If there's one thing you surely don't need in THIS adventure,
it's   common   sense,   so  take  the  particle.  Whoops!  Everythig  just
went.....dark.

Ok,  now  you should have collected the four fluffs, the ultra-plasmic awl,
the paint chipper, the nutrimat computer interface, and the tool box. After
you have done the last Key S or <ENTER> to continue!s GameSig Archives Page
GSA-1981  scenario  (whichever  one  that is), don't go back to the Bridge.
Pick  up  the  interface,  and  go to the Nutrimat. It's tea time! Open the
panel  on  the  Nutrimat, remove the circuit board, and replace it with the
interface.  Now,  touch the pad. With a clearer idea of just what it is you
want,  the Nutrimat begins to have some problems. Its own limited circuitry
can't  handle  it  (well,  it's just a dumb machine, after all), so it ties
into the main shipboard computer.

Don't  spend time here watching the Nutrimat go through its gyrations. Head
for  the  bridge,  and  plug  the large plug into the large receptacle. The
moment  is almost here: the HOG has arrived at the legendary lost planet of
Magrathea,  and the natives aren't friendly. In fact, they are sending up a
bunch of missiles to vaporize the HOG (hmmm, they really AREN'T friendly!).
Now,  push  the switch on the spare drive. Wow! Talk about improbabilities!
The  missiles  have  turned  into  a giant sperm whale! After accepting the
congratulations  of  Ford, Zaphod, and Trillian (who conveniently disappear
into  the  sauna  again),  return  to the Nutrimat, where you will find, at
last, a cup of REAL tea.

Get  the  cup  (you will drop the No Tea), but don't drink it!! Bring it to
the  Bridge. Drop the real tea (you will automatically pick up the No Tea).
Remove  the dangly bit from the tea substitute, and put it in the real tea.
You  have one more little trip to make. First, however, drop everything you
are  carrying  except the Babel Fish and the Aunt's Thing (yes, you have it
again, you just can't get rid of it). Push the switch on the Drive. After a
short  stay  in  the  dark, you will find yourself in the whale's tummy (it
may,  however,  take  more  than  try  to  get  here,  but you will make it
eventually).

There's a flowerpot here! Get the pot, and put it in the Aunt's Thing. Now,
wait  around  (you really don't have a choice), and soon you will be in the
dark  again.  Ah,  back  on  the HOG at last. If you take inventory, you'll
notice  you  don't  have the Aunt's Thing. Don't panic! It will, as always,
turn  up.  In  the  meantime,  go around picking up the various fluffs. The
Zaphod fluff, along with the tool box, will be by the hatch. Trillian's, of
course,  is  in her handbag, and Ford's is on the satchel, and the last one
is  in  the pocket of your gown (unless you took it out earlier and dropped
it  somewhere).  The  Aunt's  Thing  has reappeared by now, so go up to the
Bridge.  Take  the flowerpot, plant all four fluffs, drop the pot, and wait
awhile.

When  you  see  a tiny sprout has formed, take the pot into the sauna. When
you  emerge,  a  changed  man, you will also have a changed plant. However,
there  is  another  problem!  The  HOG  has landed on Magrathea, but Eddie,
overprotective  as usual, has jammed the hatch shut. And, he's not going to
open it, no matter how long it takes him to check for dangers on the planet
(which will be quite a few years).

You  are  almost  ready! First, eat the fruit from the plant (mmm, tasty!).
You have a vision, and pay close attention to it: the vision shows you what
tool Marvin will need to open the hatch. This varies from game to game, and
there  is  no  way to know which one it is until you eat the fruit. That is
also  why you have to collect all those tools. Get the tool that you saw in
the  vision. If it happens to be one you haven't seen yet, then you'll find
it  in  Marvin's  pantry.  The trick now is to find Marvin, and he's in his
pantry,   behind   the  screening  door.  First,  get  the  real  tea.  You
automatically  drop  the  No  Tea.  But,  you  don't have your common sense
anymore, so....pick up the No Tea! Now, you have both Tea and No Tea at the
same time!!

Go  to  the Screening Door. Open it. The Door, impressed by your being able
to have both Tea and No Tea will let you through! However, WAIT!!! Don't go
through  the  door  yet!  If  you  set  foot  in  the  pantry,  you will be
overwhelmed  by  depression!  So, that magic moment has arrived, the moment
you've  been  waiting  for  ever since you left Earth: drink the real tea!!
(Ahhhhhh, good to the last drop!) All right! Now you can go into the Pantry
(yay)!  Marvin  will be there, sulking as usual. Tell him to fix the hatch.
Marvin  will  grumble, but he will agree to it, and tell you to meet him at
the  Hatch  Access  Space,  with  the  proper tool, in twelve moves. As you
already  have  the  tool  (thanks to the fruit), you can go directly to the
Access  space  (drop  everything  but  the tool and the Fish), and wait for
Marvin.

When  he  arrives and asks for the tool, give it to him. Marvin will fiddle
briefly,  and the hatch will slide open. Go out to the Hatch, and then down
the  Hatch.  Wow!  You  have  now  set foot on the legendary lost planet of
Magrathea,  and........  And  what  comes  next,  will have to wait for the
sequel (and let's hope it isn't too long a wait!!!)!

             *************************************************
