NORTH SEA INSTITUTE FOR THE OVERMIND
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| '_ \ / _` | '__/ _` | '_ ` _ \| | | | __/ _` | | '__| | | |   
| |_) | (_| | | | (_| | | | | | | | | | || (_| | | |  | |_| |   
| .__/ \__,_|_|  \__,_|_| |_| |_|_|_|_|\__\__,_|_|_|   \__, |   
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| __| '__/ _` | | '_ \| | '_ \ / _` |  / __/ _` | '_ ` _ \| '_ \
| |_| | | (_| | | | | | | | | | (_| | | (_| (_| | | | | | | |_) |
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     ______       \ /  \ /  \                        ____---------
    /   X  ---_    /     /  \                __-----
    \__________/        /    \      ___-------
    |        |______         \___---     ______    .              .
    |___/\___|\---  \                   (______\  ||---[]----[]---||
     |      |    \---\                   |-  \ \   .  // |--| \\  .
     |  -   |     \   \                  | .  \ \    //__|__|__\\
  ____\____/_______\   \                  \_  / \\   \___.  .___/
 /    \_  _/            |                _/  \___\      \    /
|\      \/    _________/     |\    ___---/   /   \      |----|
|\   |   .     |              \\---     /__/| \   \    /  /\  \
|\   |   .     |              /_\     __| _ ___\   \  /  /  \  \
|   |    .     |                 \__--  |/ |        \/__/    \__\
|   |    .    |                         ||_|________/--'      '--- 
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 \ |          |                       /    /\    \
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   |     |    |                     / /          \ \
   |     |    |                  _--  |        _--  \
  _|_____|____|__               -------       -------
 /_______|_______\
 
 
This winter in our special base hidden in the lovely dune valleys north 
of The Hague, we present our special PARAMILITAIRY TRAINING CAMP. We 
will make the STRONG & MEEK out of the FEEBLE & WEAK.

If you pass the training successfully you will be commissioned to 
special commander in the order of the Shadow Wolf and you can franchise 
your own Shadow Wolf Commando group. This can be YOU for just the price 
of 5000 euros (excl.VAT including FREE uniform and TRAINING HAND BOOK)

A day at the training camp would look something like this:

Before the dawn breaks all participants are woken up for roll call.

BREAKFAST: - Lentils with Oats and Garlic Onion Juice with microdosed  
buckwheat croissants and 3 OMNIUM vitamine pills.

Fitness training & jazzballet with Italo disco dancing teached by ex-Rai 
Uno choreographer Ambroziano Valantzio

Live hand to hand combat training with various different martial art 
styles such as Systema, Turkish Olive Oil Wrestling, classic street 
fighting and Bar brawling.

Cybernetic Warfare Training - Commodore 64 BASIC programming language, 
Amiga disc cracking, introduction to MODEMS and phone phreeking

PSY OPS and Counter Intelligence measures - psychological warfare class
how to gaslight your enemies and defeat them using PSY OPS techniques.

LUNCH: Semolina porridge with pickled gherkins and dried sauerkraut 
flakes. Nettle tea.

Medieval warfare studies: Sword fighting techniques and siege strategies.

Theoretical Class spanning various subjects such as:
Foraging in the forest - surviving on plants and mushrooms
Druid philosophy and communicating with animals

E.S.P. training, mind control using tabs of acid and manipulation of 
your own reality by thinking force techniques.

SUPPER: Whole grain soba noodles with algae flake seaweed slime
and 1 whole Buht Jolokia pepper. Brocolli juice.

Lights out at 19:30 and curfew in your barrack where you sleep on a
tiny mat made out of forest moss which you foraged yourself earlier in 
the day.

At the end of the training there will be a big test were you are given a 
giant dose of crystal liquid acid laced with psylocibin and salvia and 
put in a closed white room with no windows for 24 hours with Kenny G's 
Songbird on loop playing in the background.

If you survive this staying sane you will have accomplished your 
training program successfully!