_ __ _ ___| |_ _ _ ___ _ _ _ __ / _` |/ _ \ __| | | | |/ _ \| | | | '__| | (_| | __/ |_ | |_| | (_) | |_| | | \__, |\___|\__| \__, |\___/ \__,_|_| |___/ |___/ _ ___ ___ _ __ ___ ___ _ __ _ __ | | __ _ _ _ / __|/ __| '__/ _ \/ _ \ '_ \| '_ \| |/ _` | | | | \__ \ (__| | | __/ __/ | | | |_) | | (_| | |_| | |___/\___|_| \___|\___|_| |_| .__/|_|\__,_|\__, | |_| |___/ _ _ _ _ __| | ___ _ __ ___ | |__ _ _ __| | __| |_ _ / _` |/ _ \| '_ \ / _ \ | '_ \| | | |/ _` |/ _` | | | | | (_| | (_) | | | | __/ | |_) | |_| | (_| | (_| | |_| | \__,_|\___/|_| |_|\___| |_.__/ \__,_|\__,_|\__,_|\__, | |___/ _____ ___ ___ /____ \ / _- - \ /_______\____ __ / |_ _\ \ | / __| ___||||______/ | / | \ \ | / _\ | | | | / | _ / / \_| _| \ |____| __| | / \___/ \ \_____/ /|_________| \__| / \ / \ / \ \ / / / |\ /\ \ \_ \ | | \/ / / | \ / \ \_ \ /| |____| |__/ / | \ / / \______\ / | | | \ / | \ \ \ / /| \ |\ \ \ / | \ \__\ \________| \ \ | \ \___\_/\___ | \ \ \/_ ______| \/ | | \ --- \ \_ --- \\ / \__ | \_________=== \ \_== \\========== |__________/ | \ / // | | | | / /\\ | | | | / / // By Antoni Maiovvi It is said that everyone has an idea for a film in them but maybe due to personal or financial circumstances most people won't ever try and pursue this, even if they always wanted to. Writing a screenplay is in the end quite simple but it does require time. But it's time well spent so don't let that put you off. Hell, you could probably even make some real money and then have an affair with a celebrity, who am I to tell you that you couldn't? I'm the guy who's gonna get the ball rollin' pal so you'd better take some notes (you'll be making a lot of them). In all seriousness, I'm going to lay out three tips that I've learned over the last 10 years or so, hopefully in a way you can understand, but who knows how well this is going to go. I wrote my first script when I was 17 after I just saw David Lynch's Lost Highway. As much of a cliché as that is, I can assure you that the idea was pretty crap and the ending was rushed because I gave up. The story was about a man who after suffering an accidentally high dose of some designer hallucinogenic drug, ended up having his mind almost entirely wiped and was forced to try and piece his life back together in a clinic in the English countryside. Whilst there he meets a strange woman hiding a big secret. I remember clearly writing a farmer character who I insited was to be played by a man of Chinese descent and that he must speak with a Bristolian accent. I think it was because I never met a man of Chinese descent that had a Bristolian accent and I really wanted to know what that was like, though certainly in the last 22 years I didn't really try outside of writing it down once when I was young and ignorant. Years later I took the script for the movie 'Die Hard' and then replaced all the classic moments and dialogue with my own story. That one was about a retired police officer having to take a job as security for a Wall Street firm, only to discover that the stock brokers were literally blood drinking reptiles. It's called 'Gloves Off' and it's stupid. Amongst my friends whenever we were wondering what we were going to do with our lives one of us would always say "There's always Gloves Off!" - and we'd laugh at the absurdity of my dumb Sci-Fi Horror Die Hard rip-off (though secretly I want it to be a real movie because I have a feeling it would be great). I give these examples to show that I went through the phases of not knowing anything to someone who read some books and asked some people who actually do this for a living what to do. Now I'm passing it onto you... Here goes TIP 1) Saving The Cat, or Just Making Sure The Cat Is Ok Save The Cat is a book on screenwriting I don't really recommend. The author is obsessed with Legally Blonde, a film I've never seen but am 99% sure I probably wouldn't like. You've seen movies you know how they go. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Confidence is half the battle, you've got to get your deranged brain-wrongs onto the page and you don't want to be thinking about Reece Witherspoon's sassy sup plot friend because that's what that weirdo said you had to do. TIP 2) The Lie Of The Three Act Structure Technically yes, it is three acts, but Act 2 is split in half and you want to really think about what happens in the middle. Really you just need 5 major plot points by my thinking. Start Act 2 Middle Act 3 End If you want to be poetic make the start and end connect somehow. If you want to be SUPER poetic make the middle connect also. Like a triangle. I've found that thinking about these things in advance makes the whole story way easier to plot out. Getting stuff done is the name of the game here, unless the game is backgammon, in which case you'll have to show me the rules again because I've forgotten. Same goes for cribbage. TIP 3) It's Your Idea Dummy! Make a list of all the cool shit you want to happen in the story. Write them on post it notes and put them on your wall or write it on your computator. Once it's all laid out in an order that makes sense to you. Start filling in the blanks of how to get from A to B. "But how Papa Maiovvi?" Alright fine. These are plot points off the top of my head for something totally random Freddi wakes up in a bathtub of eyeballs Freddi kills a guy for whistling too loudly Police are owned by Dr Randy Freddi makes love to all the ladies Freddi makes soup for the kids and saves the rec centre from being closed by "the man" Ok, So already I can see (from having seen a movie before) that we need to swap things around so they form a story that makes sense Freddi makes love to all the ladies Freddi kills a guy for whistling too loudly Freddi wakes up in a bathtub of eyeballs Police are owned by Dr Randy Freddi makes soup for the kids and saves the rec centre from being closed by "the man" So what we have here is a guy named Freddi who is a total ladies man, I've already cast Jason Statham in the role. Freddi is a bad boy and has a temper. So how does he get to killing a guy? Freddi after a hard day womanising heads to his favourite bar to see his friends 1A. At the bar his friend gives him some bad news which he doesn't take well 1B. A drunk guy comes in acting obnoxiously 1C. Freddi yells at him asking him to stop whistling. The Drunk man does not 1D. Freddi, annoyed by bad news loses his temper Freddi murders the drunk and his friends advise him to lay low for a while 2A. But the Drunk worked for Dr Randy a wealthy plastic surgeon turned drug lord You see how easy that was! You're probably already imagining how Jason Statham, I mean Freddi gets to that bathtub of eyeballs! Now it's your turn! Let your mind get real upsetting. TIP 3) Setting A Schedule You've got all your plot points, you know where this bad boy is heading and it's time to write. But how much should you write? Do you get a bunch of amphetamines and a bottle of scotch and bang it out? I'd advise against it but be your own freak. A screenwriter friend told me that if he gets 5 pages done a day then he's happy. 5 pages of a screenplay is really not a lot if you think about it. When I'm really cooking I can get 8 to 10 done. But then my brain is tired and all I want to do is drink a beer and watch CSI or something. The main point here is: 5 pages a day means in 20 days you'll have a completed screenplay. This is not unachievable. Hollywood wants to make you think you can't make your dreams come true, but that celebrity you're going to have an affair with is waiting for your call. It is your duty to make this happen. For all of us. So there we have it. You should be filling your idea wall with all those terrible thoughts you've had in the last 5 years on little post it notes. Moving them around and beginning to write about fantastical things that never really happened. Or maybe they did. I don't know. I'm not you. You're you and don't you forget it. I hope you get your film made and it's a nice experience. Even if they re-write it, you wrote a movie when all the other chumps were twiddling their thumbs. Well done. Good luck and happy writing! PS. Don't ask me how to actually sell a script because I genuinely have no idea. Antoni Maiovvi