__ _ ___ ___ _ __ / _| ___ ___ ___(_) ___ _ __ ___ / __/ _ \| '_ \| |_ / _ \/ __/ __| |/ _ \| '_ \/ __| | (_| (_) | | | | _| __/\__ \__ \ | (_) | | | \__ \ \___\___/|_| |_|_| \___||___/___/_|\___/|_| |_|___/ __ / _|_ __ ___ _ __ ___ | |_| '__/ _ \| '_ ` _ \ | _| | | (_) | | | | | | |_| |_| \___/|_| |_| |_| C L U B _ _ __ _ __ ___ _ __ ___ ___ | |_ ___ _ __ ___ | '_ \| '__/ _ \| '_ ` _ \ / _ \| __/ _ \ '__/ __| | |_) | | | (_) | | | | | | (_) | || __/ | \__ \ | .__/|_| \___/|_| |_| |_|\___/ \__\___|_| |___/ |_| _##_ / \ -|||--- | @ @| o() ) o | __\ o o------- o | | o o / / o ____________ | |_o__ / / | | ____|_______/ / / O o | GREEN ROOM | / \/_ / _____ |____________| \ \ || | / \ [] __ oo \ \_______| || / + + \ _||_ || oooo \ \=== \ \ ( . / | | | | oooooo \__________\=== \ ___\_____/____ | | | _oooooooo_ \ |__| \ / \ | | | \ / Confessions from club promoters - what's going on in the degenerate techno club world - what secrets are hidden in the backstages!!!?!?! What debauchery and scandalous behaviour are artists capable of!!??!...SHADOW WOLF investigates and asked some club promoters in the business to spill the BEANS: An anonymous deconstructed club music promoter from Luxembourg City writes: Every week I have to serve the visiting artists quinoa in their dinners because that is in their goddamn rider - don't they know we have exactly the same thing here in Europe, a pseudo cereal called buckwheat. It's also a superfood but it doesn't have to travel all the way from South America on a polluting airplane. And also no poor Peruvian Llamas have to be exploited to their death to transport it from the Andes mountains. Buckwheat also tastes much better and is mostly made in Russia with advanced tractors and no Llamas that are being exploited. Could you please make a case for buckwheat because I know these types love to read the Shadow Wolf cyberzine. Ed. Thank you for your lovely letter, this certainly strikes a chord with us because we just LOVE the pseudo cereal buckwheat (Faqopyrum esculentum)) and we also find the quinoa craze quite disturbing as we indeed have indigenous buckwheat which is far superior and much more versatile. These 'types' should know that the whole Quinoa industry is just a continuation of European colonialism and it is destroying the environment. We will definitely write a special about PSEUDO CEREALS in the future. So a message to all our readers outside the Andes regions -> Don't buy quinoa get buckwheat instead! - it's local, almost the same thing and much nicer. A nice thing to do with buckwheat is making pancakes, a delicious breakfast treat that will make much more impact then soggy quinoa pancakes that fall apart just by looking at them, ironically just like what happens with deconstructed club house if you listen to it! An anonymous club promoter from Milton Keynes, England who runs the charming town's only techno night 'FLIPPING OUT'writes: Last week we booked the hyped Italian techno DJ's Marcello Lamborgini & Donatello Macaroni for 7000 euros in a package deal. When they arrived they demanded several class A narcotic substances of which we had no idea how to supply them. They would refuse to play if we wouldn't get them their drugs. When we told them that we had no idea how to supply them with these substances they started to throw some rather nasty temper tantrums like little spoiled brats. The audience numbering around 19 people, of which one came all the way from Surrey, was getting a bit rowdy when our local warm up DJ started to play his entire collection of Strictly Rhythm records for the 2nd time. We had to act fast to make this night a success, we could not disappoint these 19 fans of fine Italian minimal club tech house. Then I remembered that Keith, our clubs technician, had bought some weed once from a fellow off the allotments. We asked him if he could get 5 grams of ketamine,a family bag of cocaine and 3 ampules of cheap speed. We gave him 20 pounds and he said he would 'fix' it. Relieved we told the Italian DJ's - who were now on the phone complaining to their agent and trying to blacklist us and get the first flight back home. They would give us only one chance but pointed out that is was outrageous that we hadn't any drugs ready for them. Meanwhile Keith had a little trouble finding the stuff and in his desperation had raided his parents bathroom cabinet and cut up a bunch of xanax tablets with a pack of Rennies(tm) laxative powder. Well you don't have to have much imagination to know what ensued after the Italians sniffed the entire bag without noticing it wasn't their usual medicine. The night sure turned into a fine mess, if it wasn't already one to start with. We had to pay all 19 attendees their tickets back and also had to go down to the 24 hour gas station to get some diapers and wunderbaum air refreshers to hang in the club. And the next week we were also billed with extra hotel cleaning costs as they had left an entire trail of diarrhea from the lobby of the travelodge to their rooms, including a pool in the elevator that was so hard to clean up that they had to install new carpets. Ed. I am sure this night went down way more spectacular then if they had played their boring techhouse with their usual drugs! All jokes aside just book artists and DJ's from the Dutch West Coast scene, they are mostly light on drug use and are known for their exquisite social etiquette and behavior! SW