The Last Word…

Bracing for Jane Cardinal Doe

By Father Celatus

Reading

ancient history is not only informative and important so that past mistakes are not unnecessarily repeated, it is also interesting. Take for instance the second century work, De vita Caesarum , commonly known as The Twelve Caesars , written by Gaius Seutoneus Tranquillus. The work was very popular in its time and remains a primary source on Roman history. It reads like an ancient celebrity scandal magazine.

But scandal and intrigue were the substance of the imperial reigns of the Caesars of Rome. There was the Emperor Tiberius who reigned during the time of the Crucifixion of our Lord, who often retreated to his royal residence on the island of Capri, where he pursued a life of utter debauchery.

The Emperor Nero, regarded by many Christians as a candidate for the anti-Christ of the Apocalypse, had a quaint custom of dressing up as a sort of werewolf and attacking innocent citizens of Rome in the darkness of the night.

Somewhere between the reigns of these two perverts was yet another Caesar, equally debauched: Gaius Julius Caesar Augustus Germanicus, better known as Caligula, meaning "Little Boots." His own atrocities are legion but one in particular is of interest here.

Caligula named his horse a senator.

More precisely, he intended to appoint his horse a consul to the senate but was assassinated before he could carry this out.

So what is wrong with naming a horse as a consul? Apparently much because the Roman senate was outraged and the Roman citizens were appalled at such a preposterous proposal. Some things are just so obviously wrong and contrary to good sense that it is a waste of breath and time to debate about them.

The same can be said for the recent preposterous proposal to name a woman as a cardinal of the Church. It does not appear that such a proposal comes directly from the Pope but the idea has been floated out by some highly placed source. Ah well, we are accustomed under this pontificate to expect the unexpected.

As has also been the pattern under this pontificate, responses from various factions are predictable. Radicals are enthusiastic and see this as repudiation of the patriarchal hierarchy. Neo-Catholics scramble to make sense of nonsense, noting that popes can do anything they want and that there is nothing that forbids it. Sure, and Caesar could do anything he wanted and nothing forbade horses as consuls either! As for Catholics who have not lost their minds or their appreciation for tradition, they roll their eyes and continue to question: how much crazier can things get in the Church and in the world before we collapse? Actually, on this nonsensical issue of women cardinals , I have drawn the proverbial line in the sand. If a pope were to ever attempt to appoint a woman as a cardinal, its gloves off and time for ultimate fighting.

But even apart from the many indisputable arguments based in divine revelation and traditional practice that could be brought to bear upon this ridiculous idea, there is a practical argument against it as well. Without doubt, based upon the experience of the past fifty years since the smoke of Satan drifted into the Church by invitation, women candidates for such a lofty position would be feminists of the first degree.

As women religious abandoned traditional apostolates starting in the sixties, consider how many of them migrated into positions of power that were formerly the domain of men, usually clerics. No longer content with the power appropriate to running parish schools and mother houses, they shed their religious habits in favor of pantsuits and padded shoulders and secured high level positions in dioceses and in chanceries.

Now the issue of women in the traditional roles of clerics is not primarily competency, as is true with a parallel issue of girls serving at the altar. In many cases, girls may actually perform in that role better than boys, but performance is not the issue. The sanctuary is the domain of men and more specifically men who are clerics.

In like manner, those with ecclesiastical authority over clerics should normally be clerics.

When such is not the case, there often is a dynamic set up which is strained and a potential for conflict. One diocese recently learned this lesson the hard way; or rather the lesson is only just beginning. The diocese and players in this situation need not be named, though many of the details are nationally known.

It is the story of a diocese which hired a religious sister as its chancellor for canonical affairs many years ago.

When it came time for sister to retire, she insured that her place was taken by another woman. The new chancellor, a graduate of a feminist Catholic university, was certainly diligent and competent, though many clerics found her overbearing on several canonical issues. For a short time, things seemed fine.

But then things started to go badly and the gossip among priests is that the lady chancellor was not well treated by some of the powerful male clerics within the chancery itself. One thing led to another and after some internal clashes the second woman chancellor had resigned and a third woman in this succession of feminine figures took her place as the chancellor. Men need not apply for this formerly clerical position.

But the story does not end here, for the disillusioned former chancellor went straight to the police with allegations of sexual abuse cover-up by her superiors in the chancery and then to the secular media with thousands of pages of internal memos and confidential records. For nearly two months now the local papers and broadcasts of that area have run daily stories on a history of abuse and cover-up in the diocese.

Leading clerics have resigned from their positions, priests have been removed from assignments, dozens of lawsuits are pending and it is possible that the vicar general and bishop himself could be investigated. As one paper put it, "The diocese is slowly dying the death of a thousand cuts." How sweet is revenge!

Hell hath no fury like a feminist scorned. This is what happened when a lady chancellor was badly treated by a chancery. Imagine what the payback would look like with an angry Jane Cardinal Doe in the Curia! v

www.RemnantNewspaper.com ~ THE REMNANT