APPENDIX

Some exemplary U.S. patents:95

• “Christmas Tree Stand Watering System,” U.S. Pat. No. 4,993,176, Feb. 19, 1991 (Christmas tree watering stand shaped like Santa Claus);
• “Initiation Apparatus,” U.S. Pat. No. 819,814, May 8, 1906 (“harmless” way of initiating a candidate into a fraternity by shocking him with electrodes);
• “Method of Exercising a Cat,” U.S. Pat. No. 5,443,036, Aug. 22, 1995 (shining a laser light onto the floor to fascinate a cat and cause it to chase the light);
• “Pat on the Back Apparatus,” U.S. Pat. No. 4,608,967, Sep. 2, 1986 (apparatus with simulated human hand to pat the user on the back);
• “Hyper-Light-Speed Antenna,” U.S. Pat. No. 6,025,810, Feb. 15, 2000 (poking hole in another “dimension” to transmit RF waves at faster-than-light speed, incidentally accelerating plant growth);
• “Force-Sensitive, Sound-Playing Condom,” U.S. Pat. No. 5,163,447, Nov. 17, 1992 (self-explanatory; for example, it could play “Dixie”);
• “Method and System for Placing a Purchase Order via a Communications Network,” U.S. Pat. No. 5,960,411, Sep. 28, 1999 (Amazon.com’s “one-click” method for purchasing an item on the world wide web by single mouse-click);
• “Financial Certificates, System and Process,” U.S. Pat. No. 6,017,063, Jan. 25, 2000 (inflation-indexed gift certificate or mutual fund share);
• “Method and System for Measuring Leadership Effectiveness,” U.S. Pat. No. 6,007,340, Dec. 28, 1999 (assigned to Electronic Data Systems Corporation);
• “Sanitary Appliance for Birds,” U.S. Pat. No. 2,882,858, April 21, 1959 (bird diaper);
• “Religious Soap,” U.S. Pat. No. 3,936,384, Feb. 3, 1976 (bar of soap with religious design on one side and prayer on the other); and
• “Method of Preserving the Dead,” U.S. Pat. No. 748,284, Dec. 29, 1903 (preserving dead person’s head in block of glass).

Copyright law, while it has not led to as many clearly absurd applications, has also been extended greatly by the courts. Originally intended to cover literary works, the concept has been stretched so that authored “works” include computer programs, and even machine language and object code, which is more analogous to a machine part, such as a cam, than to a literary work.96