"([5393]Vincit vultus haec Tyndarios, Qui moverunt horrida bellla."
Let Paris himself be judge) renowned Helen comes short, that Rodopheian Phillis, Larissean Coronis, Babylonian Thisbe, Polixena, Laura, Lesbia, &c., your counterfeit ladies were never so fair as she is.
[5394] "Quicquid erit placidi, lepidi, grati, atque faceti,
Vivida cunctorum retines Pandora deorum."
"Whate'er is pretty, pleasant, facete, well,
Whate'er Pandora had, she doth excel."
[5395]Dicebam Trivioe formam nihil esse Dianoe. Diana was not to be compared to her, nor Juno, nor Minerva, nor any goddess. Thetis' feet were as bright as silver, the ankles of Hebe clearer than crystal, the arms of Aurora as ruddy as the rose, Juno's breasts as white as snow, Minerva wise, Venus fair; but what of this? Dainty come thou to me. She is all in all,
[5396] ———"Caelia ridens Est Venus, incedens Juno, Minerva loquens."
[5397] "Fairest of fair, that fairness doth excel."
Ephemerus in Aristaenetus, so far admireth his mistress' good parts, that he makes proclamation of them, and challengeth all comers in her behalf. [5398]"Whoever saw the beauties of the east, or of the west, let them come from all quarters, all, and tell truth, if ever they saw such an excellent feature as this is." A good fellow in Petronius cries out, no tongue can [5399]tell his lady's fine feature, or express it, quicquid dixeris minus erit, &c.
"No tongue can her perfections tell,
In whose each part, all tongues may dwell."
Most of your lovers are of his humour and opinion. She is nulli secunda, a rare creature, a phoenix, the sole commandress of his thoughts, queen of his desires, his only delight: as [5400]Triton now feelingly sings, that lovesick sea-god:
"Candida Leucothoe placet, et placet atra Melaene,
Sed Galatea placet longe magis omnibus una."
"Fair Leucothe, black Melene please me well,
But Galatea doth by odds the rest excel."
All the gracious elogies, metaphors, hyperbolical comparisons of the best things in the world, the most glorious names; whatsoever, I say, is pleasant, amiable, sweet, grateful, and delicious, are too little for her.
"Phoebo pulchrior et sorore Phoebi."
"His Phoebe is so fair, she is so bright,
She dims the sun's lustre, and the moon's light."
Stars, sun, moons, metals, sweet-smelling flowers, odours, perfumes, colours, gold, silver, ivory, pearls, precious stones, snow, painted birds, doves, honey, sugar, spice, cannot express her, [5401]so soft, so tender, so radiant, sweet, so fair is she.—Mollior cuniculi capillo, &c.
[5402] "Lydia bella, puelia candida,
Quae bene superas lac, et lilium,
Albamque simul rosam et rubicundam,
Et expolitum ebur Indicum."
"Fine Lydia, my mistress, white and fair,
The milk, the lily do not thee come near;
The rose so white, the rose so red to see,
And Indian ivory comes short of thee."
Such a description our English Homer makes of a fair lady
[5403] That Emilia that was fairer to seen,
Then is lily upon the stalk green:
And fresher then May with flowers new,
For with the rose colour strove her hue,
I no't which was the fairer of the two.
In this very phrase [5404]Polyphemus courts Galatea:
"Candidior folio nivei Galatea ligustri,
Floridior prato, longa procerior alno,
Splendidior vitro, tenero lascivior haedo, &c.
Mollior et cygni plumis, et lacte coacto."
"Whiter Galet than the white withie-wind,
Fresher than a field, higher than a tree,
Brighter than glass, more wanton than a kid,
Softer than swan's down, or ought that may be."
So she admires him again, in that conceited dialogue of Lucian, which John
Secundus, an elegant Dutch modern poet, hath translated into verse. When
Doris and those other sea nymphs upbraided her with her ugly misshapen
lover, Polyphemus; she replies, they speak out of envy and malice,
[5405] "Et plane invidia huc mera vos stimulare videtur.
Quod non vos itidem ut me Polyphemus amet;"
Say what they could, he was a proper man. And as Heloise writ to her sweetheart Peter Abelard, Si me Augustus orbis imperator uxorem expeteret, mallem tua esse meretrix quam orbis imperatrix; she had rather be his vassal, his quean, than the world's empress or queen.—non si me Jupiter ipse forte velit,—she would not change her love for Jupiter himself.
To thy thinking she is a most loathsome creature; and as when a country fellow discommended once that exquisite picture of Helen, made by Zeuxis, [5406]for he saw no such beauty in it; Nichomachus a lovesick spectator replied, Sume tibi meos oculos et deam existimabis, take mine eyes, and thou wilt think she is a goddess, dote on her forthwith, count all her vices virtues; her imperfections infirmities, absolute and perfect: if she be flat-nosed, she is lovely; if hook-nosed, kingly; if dwarfish and little, pretty; if tall, proper and man-like, our brave British Boadicea; if crooked, wise; if monstrous, comely; her defects are no defects at all, she hath no deformities. Immo nec ipsum amicae stercus foetet, though she be nasty, fulsome, as Sostratus' bitch, or Parmeno's sow; thou hadst as live have a snake in thy bosom, a toad in thy dish, and callest her witch, devil, hag, with all the filthy names thou canst invent; he admires her on the other side, she is his idol, lady, mistress, [5407]venerilla, queen, the quintessence of beauty, an angel, a star, a goddess.
"Thou art my Vesta, thou my goddess art,
Thy hallowed temple only is my heart."
The fragrancy of a thousand courtesans is in her face: [5408]Nec pulchrae effigies, haec Cypridis aut Stratonices; 'tis not Venus' picture that, nor the Spanish infanta's, as you suppose (good sir), no princess, or king's daughter: no, no, but his divine mistress, forsooth, his dainty Dulcinia, his dear Antiphila, to whose service he is wholly consecrate, whom he alone adores.
[5409] "Cui comparatus indecens erit pavo,
Inamabilis sciurus, et frequens Phoenix."
"To whom conferr'd a peacock's indecent,
A squirrel's harsh, a phoenix too frequent."
All the graces, veneries, elegancies, pleasures, attend her. He prefers her before a myriad of court ladies.
[5410] "He that commends Phillis or Neraea,
Or Amaryllis, or Galatea,
Tityrus or Melibea, by your leave,
Let him be mute, his love the praises have."
Nay, before all the gods and goddesses themselves. So [5411]Quintus
Catullus admired his squint-eyed friend Roscius.
"Pace mihi liceat (Coelestes) dicere vestra,
Mortalis visus pulchrior esse Deo."
"By your leave gentle Gods, this I'll say true,
There's none of you that have so fair a hue."
All the bombast epithets, pathetical adjuncts, incomparably fair, curiously neat, divine, sweet, dainty, delicious, &c., pretty diminutives, corculum, suaviolum, &c. pleasant names may be invented, bird, mouse, lamb, puss, pigeon, pigsney, kid, honey, love, dove, chicken, &c. he puts on her.
[5412] "Meum mel, mea suavitas, meum cor, Meum suaviolum, mei lepores,"
"my life, my light, my jewel, my glory," [5413]Margareta speciosa, cujus respectu omnia mundi pretiosa sordent, my sweet Margaret, my sole delight and darling. And as [5414]Rhodomant courted Isabella:
"By all kind words and gestures that he might,
He calls her his dear heart, his sole beloved,
His joyful comfort, and his sweet delight.
His mistress, and his goddess, and such names,
As loving knights apply to lovely dames."
Every cloth she wears, every fashion pleaseth him above measure; her hand, O quales digitos, quos habet illa manus! pretty foot, pretty coronets, her sweet carriage, sweet voice, tone, O that pretty tone, her divine and lovely looks, her every thing, lovely, sweet, amiable, and pretty, pretty, pretty. Her very name (let it be what it will) is a most pretty, pleasing name; I believe now there is some secret power and virtue in names, every action, sight, habit, gesture; he admires, whether she play, sing, or dance, in what tires soever she goeth, how excellent it was, how well it became her, never the like seen or heard. [5415]Mille habet ornatus, mille decenter habet. Let her wear what she will, do what she will, say what she will, [5416]Quicquid enim dicit, seu facit, omne decet. He applauds and admires everything she wears, saith or doth,
[5417] "Illam quicquid agit, quoquo vestigia vertit,
Composuit furtim subsequiturque decor;
Seu solvit crines, fusis decet esse capillis,
Seu compsit, comptis est reverenda comis."
"Whate'er she doth, or whither e'er she go,
A sweet and pleasing grace attends forsooth;
Or loose, or bind her hair, or comb it up,
She's to be honoured in what she doth."
[5418]Vestem induitur, formosa est: exuitur, tota forma est, let her be dressed or undressed, all is one, she is excellent still, beautiful, fair, and lovely to behold. Women do as much by men; nay more, far fonder, weaker, and that by many parasangs. "Come to me my dear Lycias," (saith Musaeus in [5419]Aristaenetus) "come quickly sweetheart, all other men are satyrs, mere clowns, blockheads to thee, nobody to thee." Thy looks, words, gestures, actions, &c., "are incomparably beyond all others." Venus was never so much besotted on her Adonis, Phaedra so delighted in Hippolitus, Ariadne in Theseus, Thisbe in her Pyramus, as she is enamoured on her Mopsus.
"Be thou the marigold, and I will be the sun,
Be thou the friar, and I will be the nun."
I could repeat centuries of such. Now tell me what greater dotage or blindness can there be than this in both sexes? and yet their slavery is more eminent, a greater sign of their folly than the rest.
They are commonly slaves, captives, voluntary servants, Amator amicae mancipium, as [5420]Castilio terms him, his mistress' servant, her drudge, prisoner, bondman, what not? "He composeth himself wholly to her affections to please her, and, as Aemelia said, makes himself her lackey. All his cares, actions, all his thoughts, are subordinate to her will and commandment:" her most devote, obsequious, affectionate servant and vassal. "For love" (as [5421]Cyrus in Xenophon well observed) "is a mere tyranny, worse than any disease, and they that are troubled with it desire to be free and cannot, but are harder bound than if they were in iron chains." What greater captivity or slavery can there be (as [5422]Tully expostulates) than to be in love? "Is he a free man over whom a woman domineers, to whom she prescribes laws, commands, forbids what she will herself; that dares deny nothing she demands; she asks, he gives; she calls, he comes; she threatens, he fears; Nequissimum hunc servum puto, I account this man a very drudge." And as he follows it, [5423]"Is this no small servitude for an enamourite to be every hour combing his head, stiffening his beard, perfuming his hair, washing his face with sweet water, painting, curling, and not to come abroad but sprucely crowned, decked, and apparelled?" Yet these are but toys in respect, to go to the barber, baths, theatres, &c., he must attend upon her wherever she goes, run along the streets by her doors and windows to see her, take all opportunities, sleeveless errands, disguise, counterfeit shapes, and as many forms as Jupiter himself ever took; and come every day to her house (as he will surely do if he be truly enamoured) and offer her service, and follow her up and down from room to room, as Lucretia's suitors did, he cannot contain himself but he will do it, he must and will be where she is, sit next her, still talking with her. [5424]"If I did but let my glove fall by chance," (as the said Aretine's Lucretia brags,) "I had one of my suitors, nay two or three at once ready to stoop and take it up, and kiss it, and with a low conge deliver it unto me; if I would walk, another was ready to sustain me by the arm. A third to provide fruits, pears, plums, cherries, or whatsoever I would eat or drink." All this and much more he doth in her presence, and when he comes home, as Troilus to his Cressida, 'tis all his meditation to recount with himself his actions, words, gestures, what entertainment he had, how kindly she used him in such a place, how she smiled, how she graced him, and that infinitely pleased him; and then he breaks out, O sweet Areusa, O my dearest Antiphila, O most divine looks, O lovely graces, and thereupon instantly he makes an epigram, or a sonnet to five or seven tunes, in her commendation, or else he ruminates how she rejected his service, denied him a kiss, disgraced him, &c., and that as effectually torments him. And these are his exercises between comb and glass, madrigals, elegies, &c., these his cogitations till he see her again. But all this is easy and gentle, and the least part of his labour and bondage, no hunter will take such pains for his game, fowler for his sport, or soldier to sack a city, as he will for his mistress' favour.
[5425] "Ipsa comes veniam, neque me salebrosa movebunt Saxa, nec obliquo dente timendus aper."
As Phaedra to Hippolitus. No danger shall affright, for if that be true the poets feign, Love is the son of Mars and Venus; as he hath delights, pleasures, elegances from his mother, so hath he hardness, valour, and boldness from his father. And 'tis true that Bernard hath; Amore nihil mollius, nihil volentius, nothing so boisterous, nothing so tender as love. If once, therefore, enamoured, he will go, run, ride many a mile to meet her, day and night, in a very dark night, endure scorching heat, cold, wait in frost and snow, rain, tempest, till his teeth chatter in his head, those northern winds and showers cannot cool or quench his flame of love. Intempesta nocte non deterretur, he will, take my word, sustain hunger, thirst, Penetrabit omnia, perrumpet omnia, "love will find out a way," through thick and thin he will to her, Expeditissimi montes videntur omnes tranabiles, he will swim through an ocean, ride post over the Alps, Apennines, or Pyrenean hills,
[5426] "Ignem marisque fluctus, atque turbines Venti paratus est transire,"———
though it rain daggers with their points downward, light or dark, all is one: (Roscida per tenebras Faunus ad antra venit), for her sweet sake he will undertake Hercules's twelve labours, endure, hazard, &c., he feels it not. [5427]"What shall I say," saith Haedus, "of their great dangers they undergo, single combats they undertake, how they will venture their lives, creep in at windows, gutters, climb over walls to come to their sweethearts," (anointing the doors and hinges with oil, because they should not creak, tread soft, swim, wade, watch, &c.), "and if they be surprised, leap out at windows, cast themselves headlong down, bruising or breaking their legs or arms, and sometimes loosing life itself," as Calisto did for his lovely Melibaea. Hear some of their own confessions, protestations, complaints, proffers, expostulations, wishes, brutish attempts, labours in this kind. Hercules served Omphale, put on an apron, took a distaff and spun; Thraso the soldier was so submissive to Thais, that he was resolved to do whatever she enjoined. [5428]Ego me Thaidi dedam; et faciam quod jubet, I am at her service. Philostratus in an epistle to his mistress, [5429]"I am ready to die sweetheart if it be thy will; allay his thirst whom thy star hath scorched and undone, the fountains and rivers deny no man drink that comes; the fountain doth not say thou shalt not drink, nor the apple thou shalt not eat, nor the fair meadow walk not in me, but thou alone wilt not let me come near thee, or see thee, contemned and despised I die for grief." Polienus, when his mistress Circe did but frown upon him in Petronius, drew his sword, and bade her [5430]kill, stab, or whip him to death, he would strip himself naked, and not resist. Another will take a journey to Japan, Longae navigationis molestis non curans: a third (if she say it) will not speak a word for a twelvemonth's space, her command shall be most inviolably kept: a fourth will take Hercules's club from him, and with that centurion in the Spanish [5431]Caelestina, will kill ten men for his mistress Areusa, for a word of her mouth he will cut bucklers in two like pippins, and flap down men like flies, Elige quo mortis genere illum occidi cupis? [5432]Galeatus of Mantua did a little more: for when he was almost mad for love of a fair maid in the city, she, to try him belike what he would do for her sake, bade him in jest leap into the river Po if he loved her; he forthwith did leap headlong off the bridge and was drowned. Another at Ficinum in like passion, when his mistress by chance (thinking no harm I dare swear) bade him go hang, the next night at her doors hanged himself. [5433]"Money" (saith Xenophon) "is a very acceptable and welcome guest, yet I had rather give it my dear Clinia than take it of others, I had rather serve him than command others, I had rather be his drudge than take my ease, undergo any danger for his sake than live in security. For I had rather see Clinia than all the world besides, and had rather want the sight of all other things than him alone; I am angry with the night and sleep that I may not see him, and thank the light and sun because they show me my Clinia; I will run into the fire for his sake, and if you did but see him, I know that you likewise would run with me." So Philostratus to his mistress, [5434]"Command me what you will, I will do it; bid me go to sea, I am gone in an instant, take so many stripes, I am ready, run through the fire, and lay down my life and soul at thy feet, 'tis done." So did. Aeolus to Juno.
———"Tuus o regina quod optas
Explorare labor, mihi jussa capescere fas est."
"O queen it is thy pains to enjoin me still,
And I am bound to execute thy will."
And Phaedra to Hippolitus,
"Me vel sororem Hippolite aut famulam voca,
Famulamque potius, omne servitium feram."
"O call me sister, call me servant, choose,
Or rather servant, I am thine to use."
[5435] "Non me per altas ire si jubeas nives,
Pigeat galatis ingredi Pindi jugis,
Non si per ignes ire aut infesta agmina
Cuncter, paratus [5436]ensibus pectus dare,
Te tunc jubere, me decet jussa exequi."
"It shall not grieve me to the snowy hills,
Or frozen Pindus' tops forthwith to climb.
Or run through fire, or through an army,
Say but the word, for I am always thine."
Callicratides in [5437]Lucian breaks out into this passionate speech, "O God of Heaven, grant me this life for ever to sit over against my mistress, and to hear her sweet voice, to go in and out with her, to have every other business common with her; I would labour when she labours; sail when she sails; he that hates her should hate me; and if a tyrant kill her, he should kill me; if she should die, I would not live, and one grave should hold us both." [5438]Finiet illa meos moriens morientis amores. Abrocomus in [5439]Aristaenetus makes the like petition for his Delphia, —[5440]Tecum vivere amem, tecum obeam lubens. "I desire to live with thee, and I am ready to die with thee." 'Tis the same strain which Theagines used to his Chariclea, "so that I may but enjoy thy love, let me die presently:" Leander to his Hero, when he besought the sea waves to let him go quietly to his love, and kill him coming back. [5441]Parcite dum propero, mergite dum redeo. "Spare me whilst I go, drown me as I return." 'Tis the common humour of them all, to contemn death, to wish for death, to confront death in this case, Quippe queis nec fera, nec ignis, neque praecipitium, nec fretum, nec ensis, neque laqueus gravia videntur; "'Tis their desire" (saith Tyrius) "to die."
"Haud timet mortem, cupit ire in ipsos ———obvius enses."
"He does not fear death, he desireth such upon the very swords." Though a thousand dragons or devils keep the gates, Cerberus himself, Scyron and Procrastes lay in wait, and the way as dangerous, as inaccessible as hell, through fiery flames and over burning coulters, he will adventure for all this. And as [5442]Peter Abelard lost his testicles for his Heloise, he will I say not venture an incision, but life itself. For how many gallants offered to lose their lives for a night's lodging with Cleopatra in those days! and in the hour or moment of death, 'tis their sole comfort to remember their dear mistress, as [5443]Zerbino slain in France, and Brandimart in Barbary; as Arcite did his Emily.
[5444] ———when he felt death,
Dusked been his eyes, and faded is his breath
But on his lady yet casteth he his eye,
His last word was, mercy Emely,
His spirit chang'd, and out went there,
Whether I cannot tell, ne where.
[5445]When Captain Gobrius by an unlucky accident had received his death's wound, heu me miserum exclamat, miserable man that I am, (instead of other devotions) he cries out, shall I die before I see my sweetheart Rhodanthe? Sic amor mortem, (saith mine author) aut quicquid humanitus accidit, aspernatur, so love triumphs, contemns, insults over death itself. Thirteen proper young men lost their lives for that fair Hippodamias' sake, the daughter of Onomaus, king of Elis: when that hard condition was proposed of death or victory, they made no account of it, but courageously for love died, till Pelops at last won her by a sleight. [5446]As many gallants desperately adventured their dearest blood for Atalanta, the daughter of Schenius, in hope of marriage, all vanquished and overcame, till Hippomenes by a few golden apples happily obtained his suit. Perseus, of old, fought with a sea monster for Andromeda's sake; and our St. George freed the king's daughter of Sabea (the golden legend is mine author) that was exposed to a dragon, by a terrible combat. Our knights errant, and the Sir Lancelots of these days, I hope will adventure as much for ladies' favours, as the Squire of Dames, Knight of the Sun, Sir Bevis of Southampton, or that renowned peer,
[5447] "Orlando, who long time had loved dear
Angelica the fair, and for her sake
About the world in nations far and near,
Did high attempts perform and undertake;"
he is a very dastard, a coward, a block and a beast, that will not do as much, but they will sure, they will; for it is an ordinary thing for these inamoratos of our time to say and do more, to stab their arms, carouse in blood, [5448]or as that Thessalian Thero, that bit off his own thumb, provocans rivalem ad hoc aemulandum, to make his co-rival do as much. 'Tis frequent with them to challenge the field for their lady and mistress' sake, to run a tilt,
[5449] "That either bears (so furiously they meet)
The other down under the horses' feet,"
and then up and to it again,
"And with their axes both so sorely pour,
That neither plate nor mail sustain'd the stour,
But riveld wreak like rotten wood asunder,
And fire did flash like lightning after thunder;"
and in her quarrel, to fight so long [5450]"till their headpiece, bucklers be all broken, and swords hacked like so many saws," for they must not see her abused in any sort, 'tis blasphemy to speak against her, a dishonour without all good respect to name her. 'Tis common with these creatures, to drink [5451]healths upon their bare knees, though it were a mile to the bottom, no matter of what mixture, off it comes. If she bid them they will go barefoot to Jerusalem, to the great Cham's court, [5452] to the East Indies, to fetch her a bird to wear in her hat: and with Drake and Candish sail round about the world for her sweet sake, adversis ventis, serve twice seven years, as Jacob did for Rachel; do as much as [5453]Gesmunda, the daughter of Tancredus, prince of Salerna, did for Guisardus, her true love, eat his heart when he died; or as Artemisia drank her husband's bones beaten to powder, and so bury him in herself, and endure more torments than Theseus or Paris. Et his colitur Venus magis quam thure, et victimis, with such sacrifices as these (as [5454] Aristaenetus holds) Venus is well pleased. Generally they undertake any pain, any labour, any toil, for their mistress' sake, love and admire a servant, not to her alone, but to all her friends and followers, they hug and embrace them for her sake; her dog, picture, and everything she wears, they adore it as a relic. If any man come from her, they feast him, reward him, will not be out of his company, do him all offices, still remembering, still talking of her:
[5455] "Nam si abest quod ames, praesto simulacra tamen sunt Illius, et nomen dulce observatur ad aures."
The very carrier that comes from him to her is a most welcome guest; and if he bring a letter, she will read it twenty times over, and as [5456] Lucretia did by Euryalus, "kiss the letter a thousand times together, and then read it:" And [5457]Chelidonia by Philonius, after many sweet kisses, put the letter in her bosom,
"And kiss again, and often look thereon,
And stay the messenger that would be gone:"
And asked many pretty questions, over and over again, as how he looked, what he did, and what he said? In a word,
[5458] "Vult placere sese amicae, vult mihi, vult pedissequae,
Vult famulis, vult etiam ancillis, et catulo meo."
"He strives to please his mistress, and her maid,
Her servants, and her dog, and's well apaid."
If he get any remnant of hers, a busk-point, a feather of her fan, a shoe-tie, a lace, a ring, a bracelet of hair,
[5459] "Pignusque direptum lacertis;
Aut digito male pertinaci,"
he wears it for a favour on his arm, in his hat, finger, or next his heart. Her picture he adores twice a day, and for two hours together will not look off it; as Laodamia did by Protesilaus, when he went to war, [5460]"'sit at home with his picture before her;' a garter or a bracelet of hers is more precious than any saint's relic," he lays it up in his casket, (O blessed relic) and every day will kiss it: if in her presence, his eye is never off her, and drink he will where she drank, if it be possible, in that very place, &c. If absent, he will walk in the walk, sit under that tree where she did use to sit, in that bower, in that very seat,—et foribus miser oscula figit, [5461]many years after sometimes, though she be far distant and dwell many miles off, he loves yet to walk that way still, to have his chamber-window look that way: to walk by that river's side, which (though far away) runs by the house where she dwells, he loves the wind blows to that coast.
[5462] "O quoties dixi Zephyris properantibus illuc,
Felices pulchram visuri Amaryllada venti."
"O happy western winds that blow that way,
For you shall see my love's fair face to day."
He will send a message to her by the wind.
[5463] "Vos aurae Alpinae, placidis de montibus aurae, Haec illi portate,"———
[5464]he desires to confer with some of her acquaintance, for his heart is still with her, [5465]to talk of her, admiring and commending her, lamenting, moaning, wishing himself anything for her sake, to have opportunity to see her, O that he might but enjoy her presence! So did Philostratus to his mistress, [5466]"O happy ground on which she treads, and happy were I if she would tread upon me. I think her countenance would make the rivers stand, and when she comes abroad, birds will sing and come about her."
"Ridebunt valles, ridebunt obvia Tempe,
In florem viridis protinus ibi humus."
"The fields will laugh, the pleasant valleys burn,
And all the grass will into flowers turn."
Omnis Ambrosiam spirabit aura. [5467]"When she is in the meadow, she is fairer than any flower, for that lasts but for a day, the river is pleasing, but it vanisheth on a sudden, but thy flower doth not fade, thy stream is greater than the sea. If I look upon the heaven, methinks I see the sun fallen down to shine below, and thee to shine in his place, whom I desire. If I look upon the night, methinks I see two more glorious stars, Hesperus and thyself." A little after he thus courts his mistress, [5468] "If thou goest forth of the city, the protecting gods that keep the town will run after to gaze upon thee: if thou sail upon the seas, as so many small boats, they will follow thee: what river would not run into the sea?" Another, he sighs and sobs, swears he hath Cor scissum, a heart bruised to powder, dissolved and melted within him, or quite gone from him, to his mistress' bosom belike, he is in an oven, a salamander in the fire, so scorched with love's heat; he wisheth himself a saddle for her to sit on, a posy for her to smell to, and it would not grieve him to be hanged, if he might be strangled in her garters: he would willingly die tomorrow, so that she might kill him with her own hands. [5469]Ovid would be a flea, a gnat, a ring, Catullus a sparrow,
[5470] "O si tecum ludere sicut ipsa possem, Et tristes animi levare curas."
[5471]Anacreon, a glass, a gown, a chain, anything,
"Sed speculum ego ipse fiam,
Ut me tuum usque cernas,
Et vestis ipse fiam,
Ut me tuum usque gestes.
Mutari et opto in undam,
Lavem tuos ut artus,
Nardus puella fiam,
Ut ego teipsum inungam,
Sim fascia in papillis,
Tuo et monile collo.
Fiamque calceus, me
Saltem ut pede usque calces."
[5472] "But I a looking-glass would be,
Still to be look'd upon by thee,
Or I, my love, would be thy gown,
By thee to be worn up and down;
Or a pure well full to the brims,
That I might wash thy purer limbs:
Or, I'd be precious balm to 'noint,
With choicest care each choicest joint;
Or, if I might, I would be fain
About thy neck thy happy chain,
Or would it were my blessed hap
To be the lawn o'er thy fair pap.
Or would I were thy shoe, to be
Daily trod upon by thee."
O thrice happy man that shall enjoy her: as they that saw Hero in Museus, and [5473]Salmacis to Hermaphroditus,
[5474] ———"Felices mater, &c. felix nutrix.— Sed longe cunctis, longeque beatior ille, Quem fructu sponsi et socii dignabere lecti."
The same passion made her break out in the comedy, [5475]Nae illae fortunatae, sunt quae cum illo cubant, "happy are his bedfellows;" and as she said of Cyprus, [5476]Beata quae illi uxor futura esset, blessed is that woman that shall be his wife, nay, thrice happy she that shall enjoy him but a night. [5477]Una nox Jovis sceptro aequiparanda, such a night's lodging is worth Jupiter's sceptre.
[5478] "Qualis nox erit illa, dii, deaeque, Quam mollis thorus?"
"O what a blissful night would it be, how soft, how sweet a bed!" She will adventure all her estate for such a night, for a nectarean, a balsam kiss alone.
[5479] "Qui te videt beatus est,
Beatior qui te audiet,
Qui te potitur est Deus."
The sultan of Sana's wife in Arabia, when she had seen Vertomannus, that comely traveller, lamented to herself in this manner, [5480]"O God, thou hast made this man whiter than the sun, but me, mine husband, and all my children black; I would to God he were my husband, or that I had such a son;" she fell a weeping, and so impatient for love at last, that (as Potiphar's wife did by Joseph) she would have had him gone in with her, she sent away Gazella, Tegeia, Galzerana, her waiting-maids, loaded him with fair promises and gifts, and wooed him with all the rhetoric she could,— extremum hoc miserae da munus amanti, "grant this last request to a wretched lover." But when he gave not consent, she would have gone with him, and left all, to be his page, his servant, or his lackey, Certa sequi charum corpus ut umbra solet, so that she might enjoy him, threatening moreover to kill herself, &c. Men will do as much and more for women, spend goods, lands, lives, fortunes; kings will leave their crowns, as King John for Matilda the nun at Dunmow.
[5481] "But kings in this yet privileg'd may be,
I'll be a monk so I may live with thee."
The very Gods will endure any shame (atque aliquis de diis non tristibus inquit, &c.) be a spectacle as Mars and Venus were, to all the rest; so did Lucian's Mercury wish, and peradventure so dost thou. They will adventure their lives with alacrity —[5482]pro qua non metuam mori—nay more, pro qua non metuam bis mori, I will die twice, nay, twenty times for her. If she die, there's no remedy, they must die with her, they cannot help it. A lover in Calcagninus, wrote this on his darling's tomb,
"Quincia obiit, sed non Quincia sola obiit,
Quincia obiit, sed cum Quincia et ipse obii;
Risus obit, obit gratia, lusus obit.
Nec mea nunc anima in pectore, at in tumulo est."
"Quincia my dear is dead, but not alone,
For I am dead, and with her I am gone:
Sweet smiles, mirth, graces, all with her do rest,
And my soul too, for 'tis not in my breast."
How many doting lovers upon the like occasion might say the same? But these are toys in respect, they will hazard their very souls for their mistress' sake.
"Atque aliquis interjuvenes miratus est, et verbum dixit,
Non ego in caelo cuperem Deus esse,
Nostram uxorem habens domi Hero."
"One said, to heaven would I not
desire at all to go,
If that at mine own house I had
such a fine wife as Hero."
Venus forsook heaven for Adonis' sake,—[5483]caelo praefertur Adonis. Old Janivere, in Chaucer, thought when he had his fair May he should never go to heaven, he should live so merrily here on earth; had I such a mistress, he protests,
[5484] "Caelum diis ego non suum inviderem,
Sed sortem mihi dii meam inviderent."
"I would not envy their prosperity,
The gods should envy my felicity."
Another as earnestly desires to behold his sweetheart he will adventure and leave all this, and more than this to see her alone.
[5485] "Omnia quae patior mala si pensare velit fors,
Una aliqua nobis prosperitate, dii
Hoc precor, ut faciant, faciant me cernere coram,
Cor mihi captivum quae tenet hocce, deam."
"If all my mischiefs were recompensed
And God would give we what I requested,
I would my mistress' presence only seek,
Which doth mine heart in prison captive keep."
But who can reckon upon the dotage, madness, servitude and blindness, the foolish phantasms and vanities of lovers, their torments, wishes, idle attempts?
Yet for all this, amongst so many irksome, absurd, troublesome symptoms, inconveniences, fantastical fits and passions which are usually incident to such persons, there be some good and graceful qualities in lovers, which this affection causeth. "As it makes wise men fools, so many times it makes fools become wise; [5486]it makes base fellows become generous, cowards courageous," as Cardan notes out of Plutarch; "covetous, liberal and magnificent; clowns, civil; cruel, gentle; wicked, profane persons, to become religious; slovens, neat; churls, merciful; and dumb dogs, eloquent; your lazy drones, quick and nimble." Feras mentes domat cupido, that fierce, cruel and rude Cyclops Polyphemus sighed, and shed many a salt tear for Galatea's sake. No passion causeth greater alterations, or more vehement of joy or discontent. Plutarch. Sympos. lib. 5. quaest. 1, [5487] saith, "that the soul of a man in love is full of perfumes and sweet odours, and all manner of pleasing tones and tunes, insomuch that it is hard to say (as he adds) whether love do mortal men more harm than good." It adds spirits and makes them, otherwise soft and silly, generous and courageous, [5488]Audacem faciebat amor. Ariadne's love made Theseus so adventurous, and Medea's beauty Jason so victorious; expectorat amor timorem. [5489]Plato is of opinion that the love of Venus made Mars so valorous. "A young man will be much abashed to commit any foul offence that shall come to the hearing or sight of his mistress." As [5490]he that desired of his enemy now dying, to lay him with his face upward, ne amasius videret eum a tergo vulneratum, lest his sweetheart should say he was a coward. "And if it were [5491]possible to have an army consist of lovers, such as love, or are beloved, they would be extraordinary valiant and wise in their government, modesty would detain them from doing amiss, emulation incite them to do that which is good and honest, and a few of them would overcome a great company of others." There is no man so pusillanimous, so very a dastard, whom love would not incense, make of a divine temper, and an heroical spirit. As he said in like case, [5492] Tota ruat caeli moles, non terreor, &c. Nothing can terrify, nothing can dismay them. But as Sir Blandimor and Paridel, those two brave fairy knights, fought for the love of fair Florimel in presence—
[5493] "And drawing both their swords with rage anew,
Like two mad mastives each other slew,
And shields did share, and males did rash, and helms did hew;
So furiously each other did assail,
As if their souls at once they would have rent,
Out of their breasts, that streams of blood did trail
Adown as if their springs of life were spent,
That all the ground with purple blood was sprent,
And all their armour stain'd with bloody gore,
Yet scarcely once to breath would they relent.
So mortal was their malice and so sore,
That both resolved (than yield) to die before."
Every base swain in love will dare to do as much for his dear mistress' sake. He will fight and fetch, [5494]Argivum Clypeum, that famous buckler of Argos, to do her service, adventure at all, undertake any enterprise. And as Serranus the Spaniard, then Governor of Sluys, made answer to Marquess Spinola, if the enemy brought 50,000 devils against him he would keep it. The nine worthies, Oliver and Rowland, and forty dozen of peers are all in him, he is all mettle, armour of proof, more than a man, and in this case improved beyond himself. For as [5495]Agatho contends, a true lover is wise, just, temperate, and valiant. [5496]"I doubt not, therefore, but if a man had such an army of lovers" (as Castilio supposeth) "he might soon conquer all the world, except by chance he met with such another army of inamoratos to oppose it." [5497]For so perhaps they might fight as that fatal dog and fatal hare in the heavens, course one another round, and never make an end. Castilio thinks Ferdinand King of Spain would never have conquered Granada, had not Queen Isabel and her ladies been present at the siege: [5498]"It cannot be expressed what courage the Spanish knights took, when the ladies were present, a few Spaniards overcame a multitude of Moors." They will undergo any danger whatsoever, as Sir Walter Manny in Edward the Third's time, stuck full of ladies' favours, fought like a dragon. For soli amantes, as [5499]Plato holds, pro amicis mori appetunt, only lovers will die for their friends, and in their mistress' quarrel. And for that cause he would have women follow the camp, to be spectators and encouragers of noble actions: upon such an occasion, the [5500]Squire of Dames himself, Sir Lancelot or Sir Tristram, Caesar, or Alexander, shall not be more resolute or go beyond them.
Not courage only doth love add, but as I said, subtlety, wit, and many pretty devices, [5501]Namque dolos inspirat amor, fraudesque ministrat, [5502]Jupiter in love with Leda, and not knowing how to compass his desire, turned himself into a swan, and got Venus to pursue him in the likeness of an eagle; which she doing, for shelter, he fled to Leda's lap, et in ejus gremio se collocavit, Leda embraced him, and so fell fast asleep, sed dormientem Jupiter compressit, by which means Jupiter had his will. Infinite such tricks love can devise, such fine feats in abundance, with wisdom and wariness, [5503]quis fallere possit amantem. All manner of civility, decency, compliment and good behaviour, plus solis et leporis, polite graces and merry conceits. Boccaccio hath a pleasant tale to this purpose, which he borrowed from the Greeks, and which Beroaldus hath turned into Latin, Bebelius in verse, of Cymon and Iphigenia. This Cymon was a fool, a proper man of person, and the governor of Cyprus' son. but a very ass, insomuch that his father being ashamed of him, sent him to a farmhouse he had in the country, to be brought up. Where by chance, as his manner was, walking alone, he espied a gallant young gentlewoman, named Iphigenia, a burgomaster's daughter of Cyprus, with her maid, by a brook side in a little thicket, fast asleep in her smock, where she had newly bathed herself: "When [5504]Cymon saw her, he stood leaning on his staff, gaping on her immovable, and in amaze;" at last he fell so far in love with the glorious object, that he began to rouse himself up, to bethink what he was, would needs follow her to the city, and for her sake began to be civil, to learn to sing and dance, to play on instruments, and got all those gentlemanlike qualities and compliments in a short space, which his friends were most glad of. In brief, he became, from an idiot and a clown, to be one of the most complete gentlemen in Cyprus, did many valorous exploits, and all for the love of mistress Iphigenia. In a word, I may say thus much of them all, let them be never so clownish, rude and horrid, Grobians and sluts, if once they be in love they will be most neat and spruce; for, [5505]Omnibus rebus, et nitidis nitoribus antevenit amor, they will follow the fashion, begin to trick up, and to have a good opinion of themselves, venustatem enim mater Venus; a ship is not so long a rigging as a young gentlewoman a trimming up herself against her sweetheart comes. A painter's shop, a flowery meadow, no so gracious aspect in nature's storehouse as a young maid, nubilis puella, a Novitsa or Venetian bride, that looks for a husband, or a young man that is her suitor; composed looks, composed gait, clothes, gestures, actions, all composed; all the graces, elegances in the world are in her face. Their best robes, ribands, chains, jewels, lawns, linens, laces, spangles, must come on, [5506]praeter quam res patitur student elegantiae, they are beyond all measure coy, nice, and too curious on a sudden; 'tis all their study, all their business, how to wear their clothes neat, to be polite and terse, and to set out themselves. No sooner doth a young man see his sweetheart coming, but he smugs up himself, pulls up his cloak now fallen about his shoulders, ties his garters, points, sets his band, cuffs, slicks his hair, twires his beard, &c. When Mercury was to come before his mistress,
[5507] ———"Chlamydemque ut pendeat apte
Collocat, ut limbus totumque appareat aurum."
"He put his cloak in order, that the lace.
And hem, and gold-work, all might have his grace."
Salmacis would not be seen of Hermaphroditus, till she had spruced up herself first,
[5508] "Nec tamen ante adiit, etsi properabat adire,
Quam se composuit, quam circumspexit amictus,
Et finxit vultum, et meruit formosa videri."
"Nor did she come, although 'twas her desire,
Till she compos'd herself, and trimm'd her tire,
And set her looks to make him to admire."
Venus had so ordered the matter, that when her son [5509]Aeneas was to appear before Queen Dido, he was
"Os humerosque deo similis (namque ipsa decoram
Caesariem nato genetrix, lumenque juventae
Purpureum et laetos oculis afflarat honores.")
like a god, for she was the tire-woman herself, to set him out with all natural and artificial impostures. As mother Mammea did her son Heliogabalus, new chosen emperor, when he was to be seen of the people first. When the hirsute cyclopical Polyphemus courted Galatea;
[5510] "Jamque tibi formae, jamque est tibi cura placendi,
Jam rigidos pectis rastris Polypheme capillos,
Jam libet hirsutam tibi falce recidere barbam,
Et spectare feros in aqua et componere vultus."
"And then he did begin to prank himself,
To plait and comb his head, and beard to shave,
And look his face i' th' water as a glass,
And to compose himself for to be brave."
He was upon a sudden now spruce and keen, as a new ground hatchet. He now began to have a good opinion of his own features and good parts, now to be a gallant.
"Jam Galatea veni, nec munera despice nostra,
Certe ego me novi, liquidaque in imagine vidi
Nuper aquae, placuitque mihi mea forma videnti."
"Come now, my Galatea, scorn me not,
Nor my poor presents; for but yesterday
I saw myself i' th' water, and methought
Full fair I was, then scorn me not I say."
[5511] "Non sum adeo informis, nuper me in littore vidi,
Cum placidum ventis staret mare"———
'Tis the common humour of all suitors to trick up themselves, to be prodigal in apparel, pure lotus, neat, combed, and curled, with powdered hair, comptus et calimistratus, with a long love-lock, a flower in his ear, perfumed gloves, rings, scarves, feathers, points, &c. as if he were a prince's Ganymede, with everyday new suits, as the fashion varies; going as if he trod upon eggs, as Heinsius writ to Primierus, [5512]"if once he be besotten on a wench, he must like awake at nights, renounce his book, sigh and lament, now and then weep for his hard hap, and mark above all things what hats, bands, doublets, breeches, are in fashion, how to cut his beard, and wear his locks, to turn up his mustachios, and curl his head, prune his pickedevant, or if he wear it abroad, that the east side be correspondent to the west;" he may be scoffed at otherwise, as Julian that apostate emperor was for wearing a long hirsute goatish beard, fit to make ropes with, as in his Mysopogone, or that apologetical oration he made at Antioch to excuse himself, he doth ironically confess, it hindered his kissing, nam non licuit inde pura puris, eoque suavioribus labra labris adjungere, but he did not much esteem it, as it seems by the sequel, de accipiendis dandisve osculis non laboro, yet (to follow mine author) it may much concern a young lover, he must be more respectful in this behalf, "he must be in league with an excellent tailor, barber,"
[5513] "Tonsorem pucrum sed arte talem,
Qualis nec Thalamis fuit Neronis;"
"have neat shoe-ties, points, garters, speak in print, walk in print, eat and drink in print, and that which is all in all, he must be mad in print."
Amongst other good qualities an amorous fellow is endowed with, he must learn to sing and dance, play upon some instrument or other, as without all doubt he will, if he be truly touched with this loadstone of love. For as [5514]Erasmus hath it, Musicam docet amor et Poesia, love will make them musicians, and to compose ditties, madrigals, elegies, love sonnets, and sing them to several pretty tunes, to get all good qualities may be had. [5515]Jupiter perceived Mercury to be in love with Philologia, because he learned languages, polite speech, (for Suadela herself was Venus' daughter, as some write) arts and sciences, quo virgini placeret, all to ingratiate himself, and please his mistress. 'Tis their chiefest study to sing, dance; and without question, so many gentlemen and gentlewomen would not be so well qualified in this kind, if love did not incite them. [5516]"Who," saith Castilio, "would learn to play, or give his mind to music, learn to dance, or make so many rhymes, love-songs, as most do, but for women's sake, because they hope by that means to purchase their good wills, and win their favour?" We see this daily verified in our young women and wives, they that being maids took so much pains to sing, play, and dance, with such cost and charge to their parents, to get those graceful qualities, now being married will scarce touch an instrument, they care not for it. Constantine agricult. lib. 11. cap. 18, makes Cupid himself to be a great dancer; by the same token as he was capering amongst the gods, [5517]"he flung down a bowl of nectar, which distilling upon the white rose, ever since made it red:" and Calistratus, by the help of Dedalus, about Cupid's statue [5518]made a many of young wenches still a dancing, to signify belike that Cupid was much affected with it, as without all doubt he was. For at his and Psyche's wedding, the gods being present to grace the feast, Ganymede filled nectar in abundance (as [5519]Apuleius describes it), Vulcan was the cook, the Hours made all fine with roses and flowers, Apollo played on the harp, the Muses sang to it, sed suavi Musicae super ingressa Venus saltavit, but his mother Venus danced to his and their sweet content. Witty [5520]Lucian in that pathetical love passage, or pleasant description of Jupiter's stealing of Europa, and swimming from Phoenicia to Crete, makes the sea calm, the winds hush, Neptune and Amphitrite riding in their chariot to break the waves before them, the tritons dancing round about, with every one a torch, the sea-nymphs half naked, keeping time on dolphins' backs, and singing Hymeneus, Cupid nimbly tripping on the top of the waters, and Venus herself coming after in a shell, strewing roses and flowers on their heads. Praxiteles, in all his pictures of love, feigns Cupid ever smiling, and looking upon dancers; and in St. Mark's in Rome (whose work I know not), one of the most delicious pieces, is a many of [5521]satyrs dancing about a wench asleep. So that dancing still is as it were a necessary appendix to love matters. Young lasses are never better pleased than when as upon a holiday, after evensong, they may meet their sweethearts, and dance about a maypole, or in a town-green under a shady elm. Nothing so familiar in. [5522]France, as for citizens' wives and maids to dance a round in the streets, and often too, for want of better instruments, to make good music of their own voices, and dance after it. Yea many times this love will make old men and women that have more toes than teeth, dance,—"John, come kiss me now," mask and mum; for Comus and Hymen love masks, and all such merriments above measure, will allow men to put on women's apparel in some cases, and promiscuously to dance, young and old, rich and poor, generous and base, of all sorts. Paulus Jovius taxeth Augustine Niphus the philosopher, [5523]"for that being an old man, and a public professor, a father of many children, he was so mad for the love of a young maid (that which many of his friends were ashamed to see), an old gouty fellow, yet would dance after fiddlers." Many laughed him to scorn for it, but this omnipotent love would have it so.
[5524] "Hyacinthino bacillo
Properans amor, me adegit
Violenter ad sequendum."
"Love hasty with his purple staff did make
Me follow and the dance to undertake."
And 'tis no news this, no indecorum; for why? a good reason may be given of it. Cupid and death met both in an inn; and being merrily disposed, they did exchange some arrows from either quiver; ever since young men die, and oftentimes old men dote—[5525]Sic moritur Juvenis, sic moribundus amat. And who can then withstand it? If once we be in love, young or old, though our teeth shake in our heads, like virginal jacks, or stand parallel asunder like the arches of a bridge, there is no remedy, we must dance trenchmore for a need, over tables, chairs, and stools, &c. And princum prancum is a fine dance. Plutarch, Sympos. 1. quaest. 5. doth in some sort excuse it, and telleth us moreover in what sense, Musicam docet amor, licet prius fuerit rudis, how love makes them that had no skill before learn to sing and dance; he concludes, 'tis only that power and prerogative love hath over us. [5526]"Love" (as he holds) "will make a silent man speak, a modest man most officious; dull, quick; slow, nimble; and that which is most to be admired, a hard, base, untractable churl, as fire doth iron in a smith's forge, free, facile, gentle, and easy to be entreated." Nay, 'twill make him prodigal in the other extreme, and give a [5527]hundred sesterces for a night's lodging, as they did of old to Lais of Corinth, or [5528] ducenta drachmarum millia pro unica nocte, as Mundus to Paulina, spend all his fortunes (as too many do in like case) to obtain his suit. For which cause many compare love to wine, which makes men jovial and merry, frolic and sad, whine, sing, dance, and what not.
But above all the other symptoms of lovers, this is not lightly to be overpassed, that likely of what condition soever, if once they be in love, they turn to their ability, rhymers, ballad makers, and poets. For as Plutarch saith, [5529]"They will be witnesses and trumpeters of their paramours' good parts, bedecking them with verses and commendatory songs, as we do statues with gold, that they may be remembered and admired of all." Ancient men will dote in this kind sometimes as well as the rest; the heat of love will thaw their frozen affections, dissolve the ice of age, and so far enable them, though they be sixty years of age above the girdle, to be scarce thirty beneath. Jovianus Pontanus makes an old fool rhyme, and turn poetaster to please his mistress.
[5530] "Ne ringas Mariana, meos me dispice canos,
De sene nam juvenem dia referre potes," &c.
"Sweet Marian do not mine age disdain,
For thou canst make an old man young again."
They will be still singing amorous songs and ditties (if young especially), and cannot abstain though it be when they go to, or should be at church. We have a pretty story to this purpose in [5531]Westmonasteriensis, an old writer of ours (if you will believe it) An. Dom. 1012. at Colewiz in Saxony, on Christmas eve a company of young men and maids, whilst the priest was at mass in the church, were singing catches and love songs in the churchyard, he sent to them to make less noise, but they sung on still: and if you will, you shall have the very song itself.
"Equitabat homo per sylvam frondosam,
Ducebatque secum Meswinden formosam.
Quid stamus, cur non imus?"
"A fellow rid by the greenwood side,
And fair Meswinde was his bride,
Why stand we so, and do not go?"
This they sung, he chaft, till at length, impatient as he was, he prayed to St. Magnus, patron of the church, they might all three sing and dance till that time twelvemonth, and so [5532]they did without meat and drink, wearisomeness or giving over, till at year's end they ceased singing, and were absolved by Herebertus archbishop of Cologne. They will in all places be doing thus, young folks especially, reading love stories, talking of this or that young man, such a fair maid, singing, telling or hearing lascivious tales, scurrilous tunes, such objects are their sole delight, their continual meditation, and as Guastavinius adds, Com. in 4. Sect. 27. Prov. Arist. ob seminis abundantiam crebrae cogitationes, veneris frequens recordatio et pruriens voluptas, &c. an earnest longing comes hence, pruriens corpus, pruriens anima, amorous conceits, tickling thoughts, sweet and pleasant hopes; hence it is, they can think, discourse willingly, or speak almost of no other subject. 'Tis their only desire, if it may be done by art, to see their husband's picture in a glass, they'll give anything to know when they shall be married, how many husbands they shall have, by cromnyomantia, a kind of divination with [5533]onions laid on the altar on Christmas eve, or by fasting on St. Anne's eve or night, to know who shall be their first husband, or by amphitormantia, by beans in a cake, &c., to burn the same. This love is the cause of all good conceits, [5534] neatness, exornations, plays, elegancies, delights, pleasant expressions, sweet motions, and gestures, joys, comforts, exultancies, and all the sweetness of our life, [5535]qualis jam vita foret, aut quid jucundi sine aurea Venere? [5536]Emoriar cum ista non amplius mihi cura fuerit, let me live no longer than I may love, saith a mad merry fellow in Mimnermus. This love is that salt that seasoneth our harsh and dull labours, and gives a pleasant relish to our other unsavoury proceedings, [5537]Absit amor, surgunt tenebrae, torpedo, veternum, pestis, &c. All our feasts almost, masques, mummings, banquets, merry meetings, weddings, pleasing songs, fine tunes, poems, love stories, plays, comedies, Atellans, jigs, Fescennines, elegies, odes, &c. proceed hence. [5538]Danaus, the son of Belus, at his daughter's wedding at Argos, instituted the first plays (some say) that ever were heard of symbols, emblems, impresses, devices, if we shall believe Jovius, Coutiles, Paradine, Camillus de Camillis, may be ascribed to it. Most of our arts and sciences, painting amongst the rest, was first invented, saith [5539]Patritius ex amoris beneficio, for love's sake. For when the daughter of [5540]Deburiades the Sycionian, was to take leave of her sweetheart now going to wars, ut desiderio ejus minus tabesceret, to comfort herself in his absence, she took his picture with coal upon a wall, as the candle gave the shadow, which her father admiring, perfected afterwards, and it was the first picture by report that ever was made. And long after, Sycion for painting, carving, statuary, music, and philosophy, was preferred before all the cities in Greece. [5541]Apollo was the first inventor of physic, divination, oracles; Minerva found out weaving, Vulcan curious ironwork, Mercury letters, but who prompted all this into their heads? Love, Nunquam talia invenissent, nisi talia adamassent, they loved such things, or some party, for whose sake they were undertaken at first. 'Tis true, Vulcan made a most admirable brooch or necklace, which long after Axion and Temenus, Phegius' sons, for the singular worth of it, consecrated to Apollo at Delphos, but Pharyllus the tyrant stole it away, and presented it to Ariston's wife, on whom he miserably doted (Parthenius tells the story out of Phylarchus); but why did Vulcan make this excellent Ouch? to give Hermione Cadmus' wife, whom he dearly loved. All our tilts and tournaments, orders of the garter, golden fleece, &c.—Nobilitas sub amore jacet—owe their beginnings to love, and many of our histories. By this means, saith Jovius, they would express their loving minds to their mistress, and to the beholders. 'Tis the sole subject almost of poetry, all our invention tends to it, all our songs, whatever those old Anacreons: (and therefore Hesiod makes the Muses and Graces still follow Cupid, and as Plutarch holds, Menander and the rest of the poets were love's priests,) all our Greek and Latin epigrammatists, love writers. Antony Diogenes the most ancient, whose epitome we find in Phocius Bibliotheca, Longus Sophista, Eustathius, Achilles, Tatius, Aristaenetus, Heliodorus, Plato, Plutarch, Lucian, Parthenius, Theodorus, Prodromus, Ovid, Catullus, Tibullus, &c. Our new Ariostoes, Boyards, Authors of Arcadia, Urania, Faerie Queen, &c. Marullus, Leotichius, Angerianus, Stroza, Secundus, Capellanus, &c. with the rest of those facete modern poets, have written in this kind, are but as so many symptoms of love. Their whole books are a synopsis or breviary of love, the portuous of love, legends of lovers' lives and deaths, and of their memorable adventures, nay more, quod leguntur, quod laudantur amori debent, as [5542]Nevisanus the lawyer holds, "there never was any excellent poet that invented good fables, or made laudable verses, which was not in love himself;" had he not taken a quill from Cupid's wings, he could never have written so amorously as he did.
[5543] "Cynthia te vatem fecit lascive Properti,
Ingenium Galli pulchra Lycoris habet.
Fama est arguti Nemesis formosa Tibulli,
Lesbia dictavit docte Catulle tibi.
Non me Pelignus, nec spernet Mantua vatem,
Si qua Corinna mihi, si quis Alexis erit."
"Wanton Propertius and witty Callus,
Subtile Tibullus, and learned Catullus,
It was Cynthia, Lesbia, Lychoris,
That made you poets all; and if Alexis,
Or Corinna chance my paramour to be,
Virgil and Ovid shall not despise me."
[5544] "Non me carminibus vincet nec Thraceus Orpheus,
Nec Linus."
Petrarch's Laura made him so famous, Astrophel's Stella, and Jovianus Pontanus' mistress was the cause of his roses, violets, lilies, nequitiae, blanditiae, joci, decor, nardus, ver, corolla, thus, Mars, Pallas, Venus, Charis, crocum, Laurus, unguentem, costum, lachrymae, myrrha, musae, &c. and the rest of his poems; why are Italians at this day generally so good poets and painters? Because every man of any fashion amongst them hath his mistress. The very rustics and hog-rubbers, Menalcas and Corydon, qui faetant de stercore equino, those fulsome knaves, if once they taste of this love-liquor, are inspired in an instant. Instead of those accurate emblems, curious impresses, gaudy masques, tilts, tournaments, &c., they have their wakes, Whitsun-ales, shepherd's feasts, meetings on holidays, country dances, roundelays, writing their names on [5545]trees, true lover's knots, pretty gifts.