12

Back at Nijo~, he rested for a time and went to tell Murasaki of the excursion.

“I must apologize for having stayed away longer than I had planned. They hunted me down and dragged me off with them. I am exhausted.” He tried to be casual about what was too obvious, that she was not happy. “You have a way, my dear, of comparing yourself with people who simply are not in your class. Give yourself your just due, if you will.”

About to leave for court that evening, he turned his attention from her to his writing desk. She knew which lady demanded being written to, and could see that the letter was full of warm avowals.

He returned to Nijo~ late that night. Usually he would have spent the night at court, but he was worried about Murasaki. An answer had come from Oi which he could not hide from her. Fortunately it was a decorous one.

“Tear it up and throw it away if you will, please,” he said, leaning against an armrest. “I am too old to leave this sort of thing scattered around the house.” He gazed into the lamplight and his thoughts were in Oi.

Though he had spread the letter before her, Murasaki did not look at it.

He smiled. “You are very funny when you are pretending not to want to see.” He came nearer, quite exuding charm.” As a matter of fact, the child is a very pretty little girl, if you wish to know. I cannot help feeling that there is a legacy of some sort from another life, and that it is not to be dismissed. But I am worried. She has so much against her. Put yourself in my place, if you will, and make the decision for me. What do you think? Will you perhaps take her in? She has reached the years of the leech chi1d,* but I cannot quite bring myself to behave as the leech child's parents did. She is still in diapers, one might say, and if they do not repel you, might I perhaps ask you to see to pinning them up?”

“If I sometimes sulk, it is because you ask me to, and I would not think of refusing.” She was smiling now. “I will love her, I am sure I will. Just at the dearest age.” She did love children, and longed even now to have the girl in her arms.

Genji was still worried. Should he bring her to Nijo~? It was not easy for him to visit Oi. His chapel would offer the occasion for no more than two visits a month. Though better off, perhaps, than Princess Tanabata,+ the Akashi lady was certain to be unhappy.

{A Rack of Cloud}