28

The old emperor's sons, remembering what Fujitsubo had been to their father, offered words of sympathy as they left. For Genji it was as if darkness had settled over the land. Still in his place, he could think of nothing to say. He struggled to control himself, for an excess of sorrow was certain to arouse curiosity. When Prince Hyo~bu had left he went in to speak to Fujitsubo. The turmoil was subsiding and the women, in little clusters, were sniffling and dabbing at their eyes. The light from a cloudless moon flooded in, silver from the snow in the garden.

Genji somehow managed to fight back the tears that welled up at the memories the scene brought back. “What are you thinking of, taking us so by surprise?”

She replied, as always, through Omyo~bu: “It is something on which I deliberated for a very long time. I did not want to attract attention. It might have weakened my resolve.”

From her retreat came poignant evidence of sorrow. There was a soft rustling of silk as her women moved diffidently about. The wind had risen. The mysterious scent of “dark incense” * drifted through the blinds, to mingle with the fainter incense from the altars and Genji's own perfume and bring thoughts of the Western Paradise.

A messenger came from the crown prince. At the memory of their last interview her carefully maintained composure quite left her, and she was unable to answer. Genji set down an answer in her place. It was a difficult time, and he was afraid that he did not express himself well.

“My heart is with her in the moonlight above the clouds,

And yet it stays with you in this darker world.

“ I am making excuses. Such resolve leaves me infinitely dissatisfied with myself. “

That was all. There were people about, and he could not even begin to describe his turbulent thoughts.

Fujitsubo sent out a note:

“Though I leave behind a world I cannot endure,

My heart remains with him, still of that world. And will be muddied by it.”

It would seem to have been largely the work of her sensitive women. Numb with sorrow, Genji made his way out.