(C) Daily Kos This story was originally published by Daily Kos and is unaltered. . . . . . . . . . . Top Comments: Not Feeling It Edition [1] ['News Corpse', 'Kelli Anne Busey'] Date: 2026-07-28 While I have recovered from the pneumonia I had over the last couple of weeks, my depression has come back with a vengeance. Considering I won a couple of hundred bucks in Atlantic City over the weekend and have a couple of trips over the next week, you’d think I would not be in this state. I took a quick trip to Philly on Saturday that went sort of badly; that could be one reason. Both of the upcoming trips are road trips. The first is to Columbus, OH for an MPS Conference. Not only do I have no desire to go, but my mom would like me to drive part of the way both there and back. I have not driven a car in probably 20 years. I do not like driving as it makes me nervous. My mother just got a new car last week with all the bells and whistles including all the new fangled safety features. The main reason I always hated driving was my inability to see all around the car because I am so short. The new safety features should allow me to better keep the car from coming to close to another car and warn me when it is. I am hoping it has the feature my sister car has where it slows you down when you get to close to the car in front of you. For the conference itself, I have been long over attending conferences especially since many of the people I know who attend I despise and most of them do not like me very much either. My mom wants to go because there will be some people there she hasn’t seen in over 20 years. One part of the conference will be a day of sessions for adults with MPS and ML. While sometimes the information presented is useful, typically I do not feel it pertains to me. Also, it tends to piss me off most of the other people there are married or out on their own and not living with their parents like I do. It only makes me more angry at how trapped I feel in my situation. For both ends of the trip, we will be leaving early in the morning to make the 10 hour drive. I am not a morning person and hate waking up early. The turnaround from Columbus to the other trip to Ft. Lauderdale is going to be about 8 hours. We will likely arrive home around 8pm and will be leaving at 4am the next morning. Not sure if I will get much sleep before we leave. In between, I have to get my weekly infusion from a nurse I cannot stand. She is very patronizing and regularly brings up her devoted Christian faith. Once, she told me her god was a just god only punishing people who deserved it. When I asked her what kids who died from my disease before their 14th birthday did to deserve such a punishment, she told me my still being alive was why he is just. Amazingly conceited there. Unlike the trip to Columbus, there are 5 people going on the drive to Ft. Lauderdale: my sister, my mom, a friend of ours, someone else from the New York Islanders Booster Club, and me. At least I won’t have to drive on that trip. The trip is for the annual Booster Club convention which will be split between Ft. Lauderdale and a short cruise to Key West and the Bahamas. While neither place is somewhere I am interested in seeing, I will probably get off in Key West as I missed it the last time we went. We will also spend a day with my aunt. My two biggest issues with these trips is I will be rooming with my mother, as usual, and as an extreme introvert, I will have to be “on” the entire time. There will be little opportunity to be by myself. That is very tiring for me. I should be looking forward to these trips as I do love to travel, but it feels like a chore right now. One other thing plaguing my mind is I am trying to plan a trip to either Canada or London for myself. Normally, I would be all gung ho about this but with the Felon driving up prices, it seems very expensive. Logistically, London is an easy place to travel but is much more expensive than Canada especially given how awful the current exchange rates are. Canada, OTOH, seems to be much cheaper given the favorable exchange rate the US dollar has there. Getting to Montreal, Ottawa, or Toronto is fairly cheap as bus fare seems to be around $200 round trip. Train fare is more, but for some reason, the train takes longer. I hate buses, but it does seem to be the best method from NYC. It is in the very early planning stages including even possible dates. One problem is the number of options. As someone who has problems making decisions, it doesn’t help at all LOL. If I had “fuck you money,” I’d just go to London, but I think that is out of the question for now. My birthday is less than a month away. I always feel that day ends up being the worst day of the year. This year I am taking my sister to a Mets game. She likes baseball, and I was able to get two free tickets as an Islanders season ticket holder. It is possible this is adding to my depression. Could the extreme heat we have been having also be adding to my depression? Possibly. Maybe I just need to ride the wave and get past August. My therapist is out of the office the whole month which doesn’t help, but maybe having a couple of session in September will be good for me. I hope everyone out there is doing well. I will be gone for the next two weeks with all my travels. Stay well! Diarist reserves all rights to his original writing only. Community material is not covered by this © Now a word from out sponsor and onto the Tops! Uploaded to DailyKos by Ed Tracey Here at Top Comments we welcome longtime as well as brand new Daily Kos readers to join us at 10pm Eastern. 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