(C) Daily Kos This story was originally published by Daily Kos and is unaltered. . . . . . . . . . . Media Vs Reality [1] ['Matthew Dalldorf', 'Bill In Portland Maine', 'Dan K', 'Black Kos'] Date: 2026-06-26 Ever notice how characters in books, movies and television are able to get off wry witty lines with the unwitting help of those they’re insulting? It’s always gratifying to see the skillful way in which film or literary protagonists lead hapless side characters to participate in their own humiliation, but have you ever tried it yourself in real life? If you have, then you undoubtedly noticed how differently it plays out when the other guy doesn’t follow the script. The following exchange takes place in a seedy inner city bar. A man attempts to proposition a archetype femme fatale-type. She sits aloof, cooly dragging on a cigarette when he approaches. She turns to him with a cool smile Woman: “You like sex? Man: “Yeah!” Woman: “Do you like to travel?” Man: “Sure.” Woman: “Then why don’t you fuck off?” –Here’s how it would likely play out in real life– Woman: “You like sex? Man: “Yeah.” Woman: “Do you like to travel?” Man: “Where?” Woman: “Does it matter?” Man: “Well, yeah. I mean, I wouldn’t want to be heading to a Russian gulag or something like that.” Woman: “Uh, okay, how about Hawaii?” Man: “I love Hawaii! Have you been there?” Woman: “No, but–“ Man: “Oh, you should definitely go there sometime! You’ve never truly tasted pineapple until you’ve had it fresh off the tree. The beaches are pristine. Oh, and you can take these tours through the jungle where–“ Woman: “I don’t care! Do you like to travel?” Man: “To Hawaii?” Woman: “Sure.” Man: “Yeah.” Woman: “Then why don’t you fuck off.” Man: “Fuck off… to Hawaii?” Woman: “Forget about Hawaii!“ Man: “I’m confused.” Woman: “Christ, do you like traveling in general? Not to Hawaii or anywhere in particular; just the act of traveling itself?” Man: “Oh. No, not particularly.” Woman: (Places her arms on the counter and lets her head fall forward) “Fuck me.” Man: “Now we’re talkin’! So how about we go to my place?” Woman: (Lifts her head and shrugs) “At this point, I might as well.” — Here’s another example. A tough inmate stands atop the gallows. The executioner places a sack over his head. Inmate: “Hey warden, do I look like a potato to you?” Warden: (His voice shakes. He is clearly intimidated despite his advantaged position) “Uh, no.” Inmate: “Then get this goddamn sack off my head.” Tentatively the warden gestures to the executioner to remove the sack. He does so, revealing the inmate’s grizzled features and stoic expression. –Here’s how it would likely play out in real life– Inmate: “Hey warden, do I look like a potato to you?” Warden: “What?” Inmate: “Do I look like a potato?” Warden: “You’ll have to speak up. The sack is muffling your voice.” Inmate: “A potato!” Waren: “What about potatoes?” Inmate: “Do I resemble one?“ Warden: “Well, the way your body kinda sinks in in some areas and protrudes in others, I’d say you kinda resemble a russet.” Inmate: “Never mind my body; how about my head? Does my head look like a potato?” Warden: “I never examined it that closely. Do you think your head is potato shaped?” Inmate: “I dunno, I’m asking you! Look, just play along, will ya? Consider it my last request.” Warden: “I thought your last request was to make sure that the money you were saving in that sewing kit before your capture would go toward your son’s eye surgery.” Inmate: “Well, I just changed it.” Warden: “I don’t know if you can do that at the last minute.” Inmate: “I’m pretty sure I can. So–“ Warden: “Can I have the money?” Inmate: “Fine. Now getting back to my head–“ Warden: “Right, does it look like a potato? Uhh, I’m gonna say…no?” Inmate: “Goddamn it!” Warden: “Yes?” Inmate: “Never mind.” Warden: “Wait, isn’t there a Frank Zappa song where a guy has a head like a potato?” Inmate: “Never mind!” Warden: “Do you like Zappa? I never understood him…” Inmate: “I said never mind!“ Warden: “Do I still get the money?” Inmate: “No.” Warden: “But you said–“ Inmate: “No, you blow it! All the money is going back toward the surgery and you get shit! Zilch! Nada! Dick! Butkus! Now hurry up and hang me already!” Warden: “Alright, alright. So do you have any last words before we pass sentence?” Inmate: “Well, yes, as a matter of fact I do; do you like sex?” Warden: “I’m asexaul.” Inmate: “Fuck off!” Buy my book: https://www.lulu.com/es/account/projects/9wd2mg Buy My Shorts (is also a book) https://www.lulu.com/es/account/projects/ve2kpj and you should buy it! My latest, greatest and only motion picture may soon be avalible on Plex, so be sure to get a subscription just in case. Also, watch for ‘This Title Has Nothing to do with the Movie: A New Milestone in the Irrelevant Title Subgenre’ which should soon be avalible from Lulu.com (I’ll try to let you know when). Goodnight friends, and always remember that where Anne hath a will, Anne hath-a-way. [END] --- [1] Url: https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2026/6/26/800061727/community/media-vs-reality/ Published and (C) by Daily Kos Content appears here under this condition or license: Site content may be used for any purpose without permission unless otherwise specified. via Magical.Fish Gopher News Feeds: gopher://magical.fish/1/feeds/news/dailykos/