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I'm Very Effing Serious Right Now! [1]

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Date: 2026-04-05  

🔸Jan 18: “Iranian patriots, help is coming. We are moving in.”

🔸Feb 28: “We are launching the decisive operation. It will be very fast.”

🔸Mar 2: “We will win easily.”

🔸Mar 3: “We have won the war.”

🔸Mar 7: “We defeated Iran.”

🔸Mar 9: “Strike Iran. The war is almost over — clean and decisive.”

🔸Mar 12: “We have won, but not completely yet.”

🔸Mar 13: “We won the war again.”

🔸Mar 14: “We need help to open the strait.”

🔸Mar 15: “If you don’t help, I will remember it.”

🔸Mar 16: “We actually don’t need help — I was testing loyalty. If NATO doesn’t help, consequences will follow.”

🔸Mar 17: “We don’t need NATO help and don’t want it. No Congress approval needed to exit NATO.”

🔸Mar 18: “Allies must cooperate to open the Strait of Hormuz.”

🔸Mar 19: “US allies must step up and help open the strait.”

🔸Mar 20: “NATO is cowardly. We may phase this out.”

🔸Mar 21: “We don’t use the strait. Others need it, not us.”

🔸Mar 22: “Final warning. Iran has 48 hours. Iran is finished.”

🔸Mar 23: “One more week, then we bomb power plants.”

🔸Mar 24: “The war is nearing its end.”

🔸Mar 25: “We are negotiating with Iran.”

🔸Mar 26: “Iran is begging for peace. They gave us a gift. We delay strikes on power plants.”

🔸Mar 27: “I and the Ayatollah will jointly manage the Strait of Hormuz.”

🔸Mar 28: “Regime change has occurred in Iran.”

🔸Mar 29: “Negotiations with Iran are going extremely well.”

🔸Mar 30: “We are prepared to destroy Iran’s oil and energy infrastructure and occupy Kharg Island.”

🔸Mar 31: “We are ready to end the war without opening the strait.”

🔸Apr 1: “War ends in 3 days. We will bomb them for 2–3 weeks back into the Stone Age.”

🔸Apr 2: “We destroyed three major bridges. Why haven’t they called us yet?”

Nadin Brzezinski — Medium

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