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The Wizard of Odds: Dr. Oz in the Land of Whoville [1]

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Date: 2024-12-23  

In the land of Whoville, where the strange things abound,

Came the curious case of a pick most profound.

“Dr. Mehmet the Marvel!” they called with a cheer,

“To lead Medicare? Why, it’s perfectly clear!”

But the Whos all did wonder, with heads tilted so,

“Does he know about health care? Or is it just show?”

For Mehmet, you see, was a wizard of flair,

With potions and lotions and cures made of air.

“Oh, I’ve fixed it before!” Dr. Mehmet exclaimed,

While selling his magic and fortunes untamed.

From green bean elixirs to raspberry hues,

His cures left the Whos in a markety snooze.

He’d sit on a throne in a palace of gold,

Where the policies shimmered, though some smelled of mold.

“Pre-existing? No bother! I’ll make it go poof!

Just rub on this ointment — it’s Oz’s own truth!”

In his castle of pills and his land of the frill,

He had “Trumpies” who’d cheer every magical bill.

“CMS needs pizzazz!” said the big orange man,

“And Mehmet’s the showman to sell my grand plan!”

But deep in the labs, where the science folk worked,

The whispers grew louder, the doubts only lurked:

“How can a magician of daytime TV

Fix a system as tangled as old Medicare be?”

Conflicts of interest came creeping along,

Like gremlins who hummed a suspicious old song.

From miracle diets to partnerships sly,

Dr. Mehmet the Marvel had pies in the sky.

And yet, there he stood, with his wand held up high,

Proclaiming, “Dear Whos, you’ve no need to ask why!

With sparkle and glitter, I’ll heal all your ills,

And balance the books with my magical skills.”

But as days turned to months and the months into years,

The Who-pitals filled up with worry and tears.

For science, it seemed, was left under the stairs,

Replaced by the smoke of the wizard’s affairs.

And so, the Whos gathered with torches ablaze,

Demanding the truth behind Mehmet’s charades.

They peeked behind curtains and saw with a fright,

A shadowy figure who fled in the night.

The lesson, dear readers, is simple but stark:

Beware of the wizard with gimmicks and spark.

For the health of a nation is too fragile to bet,

On the glittering promises you might just regret.

~Dunneagin~

[END]
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