(C) Daily Kos This story was originally published by Daily Kos and is unaltered. . . . . . . . . . . Conversations To Be Had [1] ['This Content Is Not Subject To Review Daily Kos Staff Prior To Publication.'] Date: 2024-12-18 December 17,2024 December 17,2024 Conversations To Be Had After recently publishing my first story on DK, I experienced a noticeable rejuvenation and sense of release and ensuing purpose, both in the exercise and the response I received, Because of that, my husband suggested I write a piece on patriarchy, thinking it might help assuage my oft spoken frustration and anger about living under the thumb of its repressive and pernicious hold on our world. I would dearly like to write about it without the ugly backlash of deniers and defenders of it’s existence… but oh well.. I am not a scholar, a historian or an expert on the subject in any way other than as a fellow human experiencing the effects of patriarchy in every aspect of my life and of those around me. From what I see, no one is free to be themselves under the blanket of patriarchal rule. Even the ones whom it was designed to elevate, and you might think benefit the most, are enslaved by the rules and expectation of what it looks like to be a man. Its roots are so deep and fundamental to our very foundation as a person and society as a whole, that we are unaware of how it has shaped and ensnared men, and woman alike, in its rather vicious grip. Don’t get me wrong. I am not saying that men are inherently bad. As in most things, there is no absolute here. In the midst of the anger and grief I carry in my bones like so many women do, I have often wondered about and felt great compassion for the really good men, the ones we love and admire, the ones who work to make the world a better place, who love and care for their families. Do they somehow carry the guilt and shame, the fear of being blamed because we all know that it is not women raping and burning the world to the ground? Do they feel this? Do they feel angry, frustrated or sad about the fact no matter how hard they try, no matter how “good” they are, they are still perceived as a threat? I think they must, even if perhaps they are unaware. Is this at the root of why so many of my sisters around the world say they cannot break the defensive barrier with the men in their lives when we try to talk about the actions of men that make peace impossible... that make the world a dangerous place? Is it because to admit that toxic masculinity, in all its masked and unmasked forms is the problem and they feel personally blamed and sometimes are? I understand the righteous smoldering anger of women is hard to take and it’s just as hard for us to carry. Please know, I am not excusing women. Their resentment of longstanding repression has a sharp and relentless edge. It cuts deeper than the hardest of fists. It is it’s own subtle violence. I do not pretend to have a solution to rid ourselves of the bane on humanity the Patriarchy imposes. But I do know that owning the truth of our participation in any situation is what gives us the power to change it. Perhaps we could have conversations without blame, reprisal or vitriol. As I see it, we are all victims of a patriarchy that stopped pretending to be benevolent a long time ago, if it ever was. There is no room between our heels and the wall here. We cannot deny that it is killing the planet. Without acknowledging the truth, we cannot change. [END] --- [1] Url: https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2024/12/18/2292558/-Conversations-To-Be-Had?pm_campaign=front_page&pm_source=more_community&pm_medium=web Published and (C) by Daily Kos Content appears here under this condition or license: Site content may be used for any purpose without permission unless otherwise specified. via Magical.Fish Gopher News Feeds: gopher://magical.fish/1/feeds/news/dailykos/