(C) Daily Kos This story was originally published by Daily Kos and is unaltered. . . . . . . . . . . Cheers and Jeers: Rum and Coke FRIDAY! [1] ['This Content Is Not Subject To Review Daily Kos Staff Prior To Publication.'] Date: 2024-12-13 Late Night Snark: Heil, Heil, the Gang’s All Weird Edition “Trump claimed he won because he was in touch with the needs of working people, and he’s following through by assembling a cabinet of regular, blue collar Americans who understand what it’s like to struggle to make ends meet and...I’m just fucking with you, it’s like a shit-ton of billionaires. One thing I can guarantee is than none of those people ever had to buy their own fucking groceries.” —Seth Meyers “Donald Trump believes that if you want American citizenship, you have to do it the old fashioned way. You have to move here from Slovenia, get a modeling contract, and marry the first orange millionaire you meet.” —Jimmy Kimmel "Pete Hegseth, who has been accused of excessive drinking at work, said that if he is confirmed as Defense Secretary he is 'not going to have a drink at all.' But if he isn’t confirmed: 'look out.' " —Colin Jost, SNL x These Cybertruck fails will warm your heart this holiday season pic.twitter.com/8TPUNqC6Ey — The Daily Show (@TheDailyShow) December 10, 2024 - “I’m surprised they would let Trump visit a cathedral that had just burned down. Because if he gets too close to the holy water he’s gonna burst into flames.” —Stephen Colbert “Yes, Putin has given Assad humanitarian asylum—and then sent him immediately to go fight in Ukraine.” —Jon Stewart “For the first time ever, you can now buy a car directly on Amazon. The only hiccup is that since it’s Amazon, your car will be delivered in 4,000 separate packages.” —Jimmy Fallon And that infamous holly jolly day 11 years ago: Clip of Fox News host Megyn Kelly: For all you kids watching at home, Santa just is white. Jon Stewart: Santa is just white? Who are you actually talking to—children who are sophisticated enough to be watching a news channel at 10 o'clock at night, yet innocent enough to still believe Santa Claus is real, yet racist enough to be freaked out if he isn’t white?" And now, our feature presentation... Cheers and Jeers for Friday, December 13, 2024 Note: How do you know when Friday the 13th has brought you bad luck? When you find yourself reading Cheers and Jeers on a Friday night. Here endeth the lesson. —Krampus - By the Numbers: 9 days!!! Days 'til Festivus: 10 Days 'til the end of the 34th annual Sawdust Festival Winter Fantasy in Laguna Beach, California: 9 Current inflation rate in the U.S.: 2.7% Amount given to California by the EPA to help phase out big rigs that run on diesel: $135 million Increase in the length of time granted to immigrants and asylum seeker for work permit renewals in Maine by the federal government: 180 days to 540 days Percent chance that Republican FBI director Christopher Wray is going to flee his post next month like a lily-livered coward: 100% Year that the Montgomery Ward department store management asked one of its copywriters to create a Christmas story for kids that the store could distribute as a promotion, and the result was Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer: 1939 - Puppy Pic of the Day: Weekend plans… - CHEERS to the final ride of Dark Brandon. With only 38 days to go until the United States plunges into a kind of fascist madness that none of us can yet fully comprehend, it seems appropriate to celebrate the late-term accomplishments of the president who briefly stemmed the tide of MAGA mutants that can best be described as the love child of Benito Mussolini and a pit of vipers who flunked out of middle school. A small sample: » Yesterday he commuted the sentences of 1,500 non-violent offenders (and outright pardoned 39 more), the largest single batch ever. » The al-Assad regime in is finally gone from Syria, thanks to pressure on allies Russia and Iran by Biden and other western nations that rendered them too weak to continue propping up the dictatorship. He was President Optimism. He got important stuff done. The nation responded by acting like a bunch of petulant assholes. May every Trump voter and non-voter spend eternity in a special circle of hell where all they get is Mar-A-Lago food and the ketchup bottle is forever out of reach. » Biden got his 233rdjudge—Noel Wise in California—confirmed in the Senate, virtually ensuring he'll pass his predecessor's previous record of 234. » Inflation? Low. Unemployment? Lowest in 50 years. Wages? Up. Wall Street? Booming. » Housing starts up nearly 20 percent over his predecessor's record. » At the White House Conference on Women's Health Research, secured another $1 billion for women’s health research from the federal government. » Hosted the Tribal Nations Summit, where he reiterated his pride in "ushering in a new era of Tribal sovereignty and self-determination." » Made a historic trip to Africa to promote over $50 billion in economic investments with American businesses. Well, it was fun while it lasted. CHEERS to informed opinions. One of the imperatives in this crazy world is holding the powerful to account when they make predictions. The bolder their prediction, the accountier the holding must be. And two years ago this week, our illustrious Treasury Secretary Janet Yellen told 60 Minutes that inflation would be "much lower" by…well, by this time right now. So let's check with the Bureau of Labor Statistics to compare 2022’s inflation rate and this year's: Two years ago: Over the last 12 months, the all items index increased 7.1 percent before seasonal adjustment. Much Nostradamus I sense in her. Now: Over the last 12 months, the all items index increased 2.7 percent before seasonal adjustment. Excellent—a solid prediction, Janet. Well done. But we're still a little disappointed. Nothing, not a word, about dropping bundles of cash from helicopters over major New England cities to spur economic growth by letting it trickle down to the rest of the country. Honest to god, I don’t know why I even bother to call her every night at 3am with my brilliant ideas. JEERS to missing 1800 by 18 days. He came this close. On December 14, 1799,George Washington died at age 67 (which was actually quite old for his family, relatively speaking, given how many of his relatives died at a younger age). He caught a cold during a horseback ride in the rain, but forensic historians suspect that the real reason he expired was the 300-pound leech doctors attached to him to drain his "tired" blood. I read in the book His Excellency by Joseph Ellis (highly recommended) that the last thing Washington did before he died was check his own pulse. Which probably explains his last words: "Oh, that ain't good." - BRIEF SANITY BREAK - - END BRIEF SANITY BREAK - CHEERS to “Moscow Maggie.” Happy 127th birthday tomorrow to Maine's own Margaret Chase Smith. She was the first woman to serve in both the U.S. House and Senate, and she reserved some choice not-so-nice words for Senator Joseph McCarthy (who responded by giving her the aforementioned nickname). And get a load of this from 1950, which would no doubt get her branded a woke libturd commie traitor by the right-wing noise machine today: "I don't want to see the Republican Party ride to political victory on the Four Horsemen of Calumny—Fear, Ignorance, Bigotry and Smear. A Republican who actually cared about the American people. I doubt if the Republican Party could—simply because I don't believe the American people will uphold any political party that puts political exploitation above national interest. Surely we Republicans aren't that desperate for victory. I don't want to see the Republican Party win that way. While it might be a fleeting victory for the Republican Party, it would be a more lasting defeat for the American people. Surely it would ultimately be suicide for the Republican Party and the two-party system that has protected our American liberties from the dictatorship of a one party system." Yeah. They'd be crazy to try that. And don’t call me Shirley. CHEERS to home vegetation. Weekend TV gets off to a fast start tonight with a holiday edition of Shark Tank at 8 (ABC), live-tweeting part 2 of the original Star Trek episode The Menagerie (8pm H&I Network) at hashtag #allstartrek, and Firing Line at 8:30 with a panel of journalists discussing the dangers facing reporters abroad. Sound of Music airs Sunday night on ABC. The most popular movies and streamers are all reviewed here at Rotten Tomatoes. (The rave-reviewed Conclave is now streaming on Peacock.) The NHL schedule is here, the NBA schedule is here, the NFL schedule is here, and the eagerly-awaited Pro Tiddlywinks World Championship “Tiddly Diddly Bowl” schedule is here. Tomorrow night at 8 there’s the 92nd annual Hollywood Communist Socialist War on Christmas Parade on the CW. SNL alum Chris Rock hosts SNL. On 60 Minutes: reports on Syria, the new influence of crypto currency in politics, and the artisans and culture of the House of Hermès. Krusty’s aunt fixes Homer’s relationship with Patty and Selma after a fight in an escape room on The Simpsons. Then the weekend wraps up Sunday night with a duel between the Packers-Seahawks football game on NBC, An Evening with Dua Lipa on CBS, and The Sound of Music on ABC. Bill in Portland Maine’s pro tip: never bet against Julie Andrews—ever. Now here's your Sunday morning lineup: Face the Nation: Ukraine’s Ambassador to the U.S Oksana Markarova; Rep. Mike Waltz (fascist-FL); World Food Programme chief Cindy McCain on the situation in Syria. Also: Santa appears on the Sunday shows to announce he’s no longer giving coal to bad Republicans because they like it too much. He thinks they’ll really be repulsed by their new gift: an “I [Heart] Democracy” hat. This Week: Sens. Adam Schiff (D-CA) and Eric Schmitt (Fascist-MO); Chris Christie; former Google CEO Eric Schmidt; former GOP chair Reince Priebus joins the roundtable with an update on how his 2012 “rebranding” effort is going. Meet the Press: Sen. Bernie Sanders (I-VT) and Lindsey Graham (Fascist-SC); Debra Tice, mother of freelance journalist Austin Tice who disappeared in Syria 12 years ago. CNN's State of the Union: Sen. Mitt Romney (R-UT). Fox Fascism Sunday: Sen. Thom Tillis (Fascist-NC); Rep Jim Himes (D-CT). Happy viewing! - Ten years ago in C&J: December 13, 2014 CHEERS to takin' it to the streets. Huge protests over the weekend in NYC, DC, and cities across America as tens of thousands of people—including parents and families of children and adults killed by police without cause—continue filling the sails of the #BlackLivesMatter movement. Protesters chanted slogans like "Hands Up, Don't Shoot," "I Can't Breathe" and, toward the end of the marches, "What do we want? Port-o-Potties! When do we want 'em? Now!" - And just one more… CHEERS to civil disobedience...with pinky extended. Don’t forget to throw a few bags of Earl Grey into the nearest body of water tomorrow, the 251st anniversary of the Boston Tea Party. True fact: When the colonists pried open the chests of chamomile tea, everyone got real sleepy and went home. That was the day in 1773 when rebellious colonists dumped a few hundred chests of tea into Boston Harbor, an act of defiance against the British Crown for imposing taxation without representation. Which is exactly what the modern day "tea party"—now the MAGA Cult—is all about, plus racism, birtherism, secessionism, misogyny, Islamophobia, homophobia, and making billionaires as comfortable as possible...but minus the taxation without representation part since they do have taxation with representation—they’re called representatives. And for those of you represented by Marjorie Taylor-Greene, we have just one thing to say: thoughts and prayers. Have a great weekend. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today? - [END] --- [1] Url: https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2024/12/13/2291536/-Cheers-and-Jeers-Rum-and-Coke-FRIDAY?pm_campaign=front_page&pm_source=trending&pm_medium=web Published and (C) by Daily Kos Content appears here under this condition or license: Site content may be used for any purpose without permission unless otherwise specified. via Magical.Fish Gopher News Feeds: gopher://magical.fish/1/feeds/news/dailykos/