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Kitchen Table Kibitzing November 10, 2024 [1]

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Date: 2024-11-10  

Openings #2

Some of this diary is repeated from one I wrote in 2018, because things get worse.

Many products are enclosed in plastic, a problem in itself, and those enclosures often nearly impossible to open without injury to oneself or others. How often have you thrown a still-sealed package against a wall in frustration after many failed attempts to open it, endangering yourself and others in the vicinity? Often, I suspect. The worst of these packages are called “clamshells” or “blister packs”. Special tools have been designed to open them. Here we have one of these.

Please note that the package is A CLAMSHELL. You only had one job!

Have you ever bought a burger and gathered the requisite number of tiny packages of mustard and catsup? There’s no opening slit, but by the use of a fork tine or your teeth on the serrated edge it is possible to open one. This messy operation coats one’s fingers with the desired condiment, making subsequent packages impossible to open.

Unless you fly first class, you will be served a drink and a tiny package of pretzels and other odd things (but no peanuts). This package will not open no matter what. If you ask the attendant for a knife, he or she will alert the pilot and the flight will be diverted. My advice: put it in your pocket till you get home and can access a scissors.

I have noticed that robots have taken over the job of sealing jar lids from the former giant Swedes who used to do this. Thus most jars are now impossible to open. Shovels, rakes, and implements of destruction are often called for. My best strategy is to hammer a screwdriver through the cap (having sterilized it beforehand), thus allowing it to be opened, once the vacuum seal is broken. Have sterile bandages handy, just in case. The jar will now leak, of course, but it’s a small price to pay because…….you got the damn thing open, didn’t you?

Although I’m trying to treat this with humor, The Consumer Product Safety Commission estimated that attempts to open packaging caused about 6,500 emergency department visits in the U.S. in 2004.

Updated rants: We ordered special small batteries for a thermopen, a type of cooking thermometer. New batteries didn’t work. A call to the dealer gave us the answer: wash the battery. This removes the bitter coating that keeps babies from eating them. “They’re eating the batteries.” Similarly, Mrs. side pocket got new hearing aid batteries, but couldn’t open the package. Back to the hearing aid dept. at Costco, where the gal struggled for 5 minutes, but finally succeeded. She explained it was a new Federal regulation, again to keep children from eating them.

I just thought I would collect mini problems into a major rant, So take this opportunity to add your frustrations to those I’ve listed. I’m certain I’m not the only one that has them. And while you’re at it……..Get off my lawn.

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