(C) Daily Kos This story was originally published by Daily Kos and is unaltered. . . . . . . . . . . The Ultimate Encore: Trump’s Re-election is America Saying, ‘Let’s Hit Rock Bottom and Keep Digging [1] ['This Content Is Not Subject To Review Daily Kos Staff Prior To Publication.'] Date: 2024-11-07 But here’s the thing, folks — we don’t know what’s coming next. We’ve handed the keys back to the guy who drove the car into the lake, and now we’re all sitting here in the backseat, water up to our ankles, saying, “Well, maybe this time he knows a shortcut.” We’re standing on the edge of something, and it ain’t the American Dream anymore. It’s the American nightmare. And the worst part? We keep waking up, looking around, and hitting snooze, thinking, “Eh, maybe it’ll get better.” So, we elected Donald Trump. You remember that, right? It’s like the whole country decided, “Let’s roll the dice and see what happens if we put a game show host in the Oval Office.” And not just any game show host, folks — a professional bullshit artist. We went from “Who wants to be a millionaire?” to “Who wants to crash the whole fucking economy?” Electing Trump was like putting your faith in a gold-plated lifeboat. Sure, it looks shiny as hell, but it sinks like a stone. And you got his supporters saying, “Well, at least he’s different!” Yeah, he’s different, all right — like putting Hulk Hogan in a Shakespeare play. “To be or not to be, brother!” Trump’s whole shtick is a mix between a televangelist and a used car salesman. He’s out there holding a Bible like it’s a prop he just picked up backstage, like it’s the first time he’s ever touched one. You could see it in his eyes, folks. He was waiting for it to start sizzling in his hands like garlic to a vampire. And then there was the digital trading card thing. Oh yeah, nothing says ‘leader of the free world’ like selling crappy Photoshop images of yourself dressed like a superhero. It’s like if FDR got on the radio during World War II and said, “Hey folks, we’re launching a new series of collectible baseball cards. Get the one where I’m riding a bald eagle and shooting fireworks out of my ass!” And let’s talk about that bandaged ear at the RNC. What the hell was that? Did he get in a fistfight backstage with Vince McMahon? I’m half convinced Trump thinks he’s still in the WWE. He’s got that whole vibe — “Everything’s a show, the drama’s all fake, and when it’s over, you go home, stumble over Kid Rock in an alley and wake with a hangover.” He ran the country like it was WrestleMania, folks. He probably half-expected Hulk Hogan to run out of the Oval Office yelling, “Whatcha gonna do when the Trump train runs wild on you?!” And remember when he chose Pence as his VP? That was a match made in hell, like casting Dracula and Ned Flanders as a buddy cop duo. Pence had that permanent look on his face like he just walked into a porn set during a church potluck. And yet, there he was, backing up Trump at every turn — right until January 6th, when they were chanting to hang him. You can’t make this shit up. Trump’s like, “Oh, they’re chanting? They love chanting, don’t they? It’s a beautiful thing. Very patriotic.” Yeah, patriotic, like a lynch mob in a Norman Rockwell painting. And how about JD Vance? This guy wrote a whole book criticizing Trump’s America, then he shows up later holding Trump’s coat like an obedient puppy. “Yes, sir, Mr. Trump. Anything you say, Mr. Trump.” JD Vance is what happens when you mix opportunism with a lack of spine and bake it at 350 degrees for four years. You know, I gotta say, it takes a special kind of country to elect Donald Trump. A real special kind. We’re not talking ‘gifted kid in the third grade’ special. We’re talking, ‘helmet and a mouth guard for breakfast’ special. The kind of special that makes you think, “Ah, America, you beautiful, magnificent dumpster fire.” Now, look, electing Trump as president is like handing a chimp a machine gun and saying, “Go on, buddy, do your worst!” And the chimp just stares at you with that little smirk like, “You sure about this? ‘Cause I’m about to mess up your whole day.” And then you realize the chimp’s already pulled the trigger. Whoops. I mean, we went from, “Who do you want to have a beer with?” to, “Who do you want running the country? ”He’s like your drunk uncle who says, “I’m just being honest!” Yeah, Uncle Larry, that’s why we don’t let you do the toast at weddings anymore And the way he talks — oh, my God. It’s like watching a car accident in slow motion, narrated by a used car salesman. “This is the best crash, folks, let me tell you. No one crashes like this. You’re gonna love it. It’s a tremendous crash.” It’s like he’s got a tiny brain in his head and a full-time circus in his mouth. And his supporters, oh boy, they’re a whole different circus. You ask them why they voted for Trump, and they say, “He tells it like it is!” Yeah, because he’s too dumb to lie properly.. But this is what we asked for, right? America wanted a spectacle, and we got it. We turned the White House into a circus tent and handed the ringmaster’s hat to the biggest conman we could find. And Trump, he loved every minute of it. He looked at the presidency like a bad marriage — “What can I get away with before they finally throw me out?” And the failed assassination attempts — oh, you know those happened. They just haven’t told us yet. You don’t get to piss off that many people without a few of them thinking, “You know, this country’s got a lot of tall buildings…” And Trump, he’d love to hear it, too. He’d be like, “They tried to take me out, folks. Can you believe it? Incredible. They missed, though, because I’m the best dodger. Nobody dodges like me.” January 6th was the grand finale, folks. The cherry on top of a shit sundae. It wasn’t a protest, it was a failed reality TV coup. And the worst part? Half the country watched it and thought, “Yeah, that’s democracy in action!” No, that’s a fucking riot at a Walmart on Black Friday. Trump turned politics into pro wrestling. He’s the heel who keeps getting back in the ring no matter how many times the ref counts him out. But here’s the twist, folks — we’re the ones who keep showing up to watch the match. And you know what? We get the government we deserve, because America has officially become a nation of people wearing gold sneakers and fake Rolexes, worshipping digital trading cards, and wondering why nothing seems real anymore. Four more years of Trump, folks. No more elections, presidential immunity, and a Congress full of clowns tweeting about weather machines. The tent’s on fire, the clowns are running the show, and there’s no exit in sight. We’re all just along for the ride, and nobody knows where this crazy train’s headed. But I’ll tell you one thing: It’s not the America we were promised — it’s the one we deserve. -AI Generated Article [END] --- [1] Url: https://dailykos.com/stories/2024/11/7/2284254/-The-Ultimate-Encore-Trump-s-Re-election-is-America-Saying-Let-s-Hit-Rock-Bottom-and-Keep-Digging?pm_campaign=front_page&pm_source=more_community&pm_medium=web Published and (C) by Daily Kos Content appears here under this condition or license: Site content may be used for any purpose without permission unless otherwise specified. via Magical.Fish Gopher News Feeds: gopher://magical.fish/1/feeds/news/dailykos/