(C) Daily Kos This story was originally published by Daily Kos and is unaltered. . . . . . . . . . . Cheers and Jeers: Monday [1] ['This Content Is Not Subject To Review Daily Kos Staff Prior To Publication.'] Date: 2024-09-30 H2OMIGOD I love water. On a hot day in a tall glass filled with ice, nothing quenches thirst like it. I hate water. If it doesn't show up when and where it's needed, it causes droughts. The earth splits open and everything dies. Scientists call it the "Project 2025 Effect." I love water. A Super Soaker is a great way liven things up during a slow Bingo night down at the Elk's lodge. Bonkers. I hate water. It reminds me that the Bush administration tortured prisoners in our name by waterboarding them, and no one will ever let us forget it. Goodbye, moral high ground. Nice knowin' ya. I love water. I have yet to find a way of washing the car without it. I'd say the same thing about dishes, but we have a dog for that. I hate water. Because it is a fickle bastard: "Around 5% to 6% water loss, one may become groggy or sleepy, experience headaches or nausea, and may feel tingling in one's limbs. With 10% to 15% fluid loss, muscles may become spastic, skin may shrivel and wrinkle, vision may dim, urination will be greatly reduced and may become painful, and delirium may begin. Losses of greater than 15% are usually fatal." And how was your day, dear? I love water. Because it is amazing: "The unique qualities and properties of water are what make it so important and basic to life. The cells in our bodies are full of water. The excellent ability of water to dissolve so many substances allows our cells to use valuable nutrients, minerals, and chemicals in biological processes." But today water is on my shit list. If you can spare a buck or two…. ActBlue’s Hurricane Helene Response Fund Many thanks. And now, our feature presentation… Cheers and Jeers for Monday, September 30, 2024 Note: No time for a note. A car alarm is going off and I must call 911 now before the perpetrator absconds with the vehicle and… Oops, too late. Okay, then, back to our note: today’s special in the C&J cafeteria is gekko fritters with slaw and croutons. Add 50 cents for sauteed gnat legs. - By the Numbers: 4 days!!! Days 'til we turn our clocks back: 34 Days 'til Colorado's Cedaredge Apple Festival: 4 Year-over-year PCE inflation rate as of August: 2.2% Increase in personal income and spending, respectively, in August: 0.2%, 0.2% Initial unemployment claims announced last week, down from the previous week and still the lowest since 1973: 218,000 Factor by which the Harris campaign is outspending the Weirdo campaign on Meta (Facebook et al.) and Google, respectively: 16:1 and 3:1 Age of Oscar-winning actress Dame Maggie Smith when she died last week: 89 - Puppy Pic of the Day: Monday morning stay-in-bed time… - CHEERS to the way things stand. We all know how the Democratic presidential campaign is running on all cylinders. In the interest of fairness, here's a quick day-by day recap of the state of the Republican presidential campaign during the month of September: Offense, Offense, Defense, Defense, Defense, Defense, Defense, Defense, Defense, Defense, Defense, Defense, Defense, Defense, Defense, Defense, Defense, Defense, Defense, Defense, Defense, Defense, Defense, Defense, Defense, Defense, Defense, Defense, Defense, Defense. Nice trend. CHEERS to special deliveries. Guess what, all you fine, upstanding Americans now entering Year 5 of the Covid Era? Look under your seat. YOU get a free Covid test, and YOU get a free Covid test, and YOU get a free Covid test, and YOU…get the idea: This is the third year in a row the Biden-Harris administration has allowed Americans to order over-the-counter tests at no charge. […] Available in regular and pumpkin spice. Currently, KP.3.1.1, an offshoot of the omicron variant, is the dominant variant in the U.S., accounting for an estimated 52.7% of cases, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). "I do want to acknowledge that we continue to see a lot of COVID-19activity across the country right now in tests coming back from labs,"[CDC Director Mandy] Cohen said, adding, "Circulating COVID disease is not translating into similar increases in emergency room visits and hospitalizations or deaths." If it’s like previous years, around 500 million tests will be available for anyone who makes a request through the COVID.gov/tests website. I call dibs on the first 200 million. (I like to have an extra one handy just in case I don’t trust the results from the first 199,999,999.) CHEERS to great inventions. On September 30, 1846, Boston dentist William Morton used ether as an anesthesia for the first time. It worked really well. But he had even better success the next day when he used it on the patient. - BRIEF SANITY BREAK - - END BRIEF SANITY BREAK - CHEERS to the day John McCain realized he'd made a terrible, awful, horrible, no-good mistake. Who can forget September 30, 2008, when Katie Couric tossed the softest of softballs to vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin, who whiffed once…twice…and three times she's out: Katie Couric: And when it comes to establishing your world view, I was curious, what newspapers and magazines did you regularly read before you were tapped for this---to stay informed and to understand the world? “Oh, gosh, Katie. Gosh gosh gosh...” Sarah Palin: I’ve read most of them again with a great appreciation for the press, for the media... Couric: But what ones specifically? I’m curious. Palin: Um, all of them, any of them that have been in front of me over all these years… Couric: Can you name any of them? Palin: I have a vast variety of sources where we get our news. The freaky part? Subscriptions to I Have A Vast Variety Of Sources Where We Get Our News Digest tripled overnight. OUCH to searing moments. Some scary news in North Carolina over the weekend that wasn’t hurricane-related. The Republican gubernatorial candidate there received second-degree burns on his hand at a truck show. Said Mark Robinson moments after the accident: "Oh no! That’s my precious sieg-heiling hand!" - Ten years ago in C&J: September 30, 2014 JEERS to staying power. Oh, Afghanistan, we just can't quit you: The longest war in American history will last at least another decade, according to the terms of a garrisoning deal for US forces signed by the new Afghanistan government on Tuesday. Long awaited and much desired by an anxious US military, the deal guarantees that US and NATO troops will not have to withdraw by year’s end, and permits their stay “until the end of 2024 and beyond.” Side-effect warning for the military-industrial complex: if your erection lasts less than four tours of duty, see your appropriations committee. - And just one more… CHEERS to today's message from the Democratic Party Minister of Propaganda. Since there is no Democratic Party Minister of Propaganda, I decided this week to claim the title until such time that I am stabbed to death in the bathtub by the next person who wants to be the Democratic Party Minister of Propaganda more than me. Today's update is great and glorious and to be believed, each and every word: Democrats saved America this morning by approving the injection of $450 trillion to the national economy while simultaneously cutting the deficit and inflation in half, confirming 10 new anti-fascism judges to the Supreme Court, eliminating voter suppression and gerrymanders, federalizing abortion and LGBTQ rights, and unveiling a new technology that will reverse climate change by 2027. But what happened next will shock you! President Biden—chosen by God to lead our great nation—single-handedly also saved America from oblivion by signing a big, beautiful document that prevented a government shutdown. The victory fireworks display lasted four hours and his approval rating soared to 92 percent as, simultaneously, the Trump crime family was cornered in their tower at Mar-A-Lago, where authorities will soon be taking them into custody after they unsuccessfully tried to flee the country in a Saudi hovercraft. The entire staff at Fox News has rickets. Remember: Democrats are the party of truth, freedom, patriotism, America, baseball, and very beautiful brains. Share this message with 1,000 people this week and you will be looked upon with pride and enthusiasm by your country. Donkey power huzzah! Have a tolerable Monday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today? - Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial “Bill in Portland Maine has just so thoroughly failed to deliver on his Cheers and Jeers.” —J.D. Vance - [END] --- [1] Url: https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2024/9/30/2273312/-Cheers-and-Jeers-Monday?pm_campaign=front_page&pm_source=trending&pm_medium=web Published and (C) by Daily Kos Content appears here under this condition or license: Site content may be used for any purpose without permission unless otherwise specified. via Magical.Fish Gopher News Feeds: gopher://magical.fish/1/feeds/news/dailykos/