(C) Daily Kos
This story was originally published by Daily Kos and is unaltered.
 . . . . . . . . . .



A Day In The Life..... [1]

['This Content Is Not Subject To Review Daily Kos Staff Prior To Publication.']

Date: 2024-09-24  

Of Trumps America.

I woke up this morning and groggily headed to the bathroom. I had to flush 3 times when I was done, must have been some meal. I went to take a nice hot shower and it took me 20 minutes because the water just dribbled out. Luckily I have no hair so that’s not an issue. Then I went to the kitchen where I tried to empty the dishwasher. All the dishes were still dirty so I had to run it again (and then a 3rd time). Made lunches for the kids, made sure they had their bulletproof backpacks on, and sent them to school. Got hungry and went to make my breakfast till I realized we were out of eggs and milk.

Got in my car and saw the “fuel” light was on. After stopping at a gas station and paying $10 a gallon for gas I made my way to the grocery store. After paying $180 for eggs, cereal, milk and bread (and showing 3 forms of ID to buy said items) I headed to the door, only to be interrupted on my way to the car by a crazed illegal immigrant gunman, who held me up for my eggs and milk. After a good pistol whipping I dragged myself up off the ground and went back into the store to repeat the process, only to be robbed again before I even got out the door (you can’t even trust the damn employees!). Giving up on eating I dragged my sad ass to my car to head home to the peace of my loving pets. When I got home my house was quiet. My pets were gone. Frantically I went to my neighbors house, you know, to see if they were cooking anything on the grill. When I asked if they were cooking my dog, they just looked at me like I was crazy, so I decided to go home and call my Senator, as one normally does when their pet goes missing. He told me he’d get the story out for me. Yay! After going back home and finding my dogs in the basement I got a translation app and went and apologized to my neighbors. They looked at me like I was crazy, again.

3:00 rolled around and my kids came home from school. Well two of them anyway. I called the school to find my oldest, only to be told he was “busy” and would be returned to me “tomorrow”. I was also warned not to be surprised when he came home as my daughter instead of my son. Which really surprised the hell out of me as it took 3 phone calls and 2 parents to sign a form just to get him an aspirin when he had a headache in school last year.

I decided to take a drive to clear my head. I drove through my 3rd world, burned out cityscape, a remnant of the BLM protests. As I took in all the crime, the graffiti, the smoldering husks of buildings, I passed a prison where illegal immigrants were lined up around the block for their free gender change operation. I really don't know how much more of this I can take.

Luckily for all of us there is a failed businessman/game show host who can solve all these problems with the wave of his magic executive action.



Yeah. This is the America being described to me by Trump, and who am I to argue right? I mean just because none of this actually happened to me, doesn't mean it’s not happening to everyone else. I guess I’m just lucky.



[END]
---
[1] Url: https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2024/9/24/2272603/-A-Day-In-The-Life?pm_campaign=front_page&pm_source=more_community&pm_medium=web

Published and (C) by Daily Kos
Content appears here under this condition or license: Site content may be used for any purpose without permission unless otherwise specified.

via Magical.Fish Gopher News Feeds:
gopher://magical.fish/1/feeds/news/dailykos/