(C) Daily Kos This story was originally published by Daily Kos and is unaltered. . . . . . . . . . . Recycled Jokes [1] ['This Content Is Not Subject To Review Daily Kos Staff Prior To Publication.'] Date: 2024-09-02 Did you hear about the fellow who made a fortune selling little bags of Cheerios to Trumpers? He sold them as doughnut seeds. <><><><><> Did you hear about the MAGA ice hockey team? They drowned during spring training. <><><><><> There’s a good reason why Donald Trump has always hired people to rake his leaves for him. The one time he tried to do it himself, he fell out of the tree. <><><><><> Did you hear about that time Donald Trump crashed in his private helicopter? He felt chilly, so he turned off the overhead fan. <><><><><> Did you hear about the MAGA insurrectionist who tried to blow up a car? He burned his lips on the exhaust pipe. <><><><><> A MAGA man angrily stormed into a florist shop, holding a huge dog turd in his hand. He said to the clerk, “You gotta clean up your sidewalk. I almost stepped in this!” <><><><><> Donald Trump walked into a bar with a ferret on his shoulder. The bartender said, “Hey! Where did you get the skunk?” The Donald replied, “It’s not a skunk. It’s a ferret.” The bartender said, “I was talking to the ferret.” <><><><><> Why are there no ice cubes available at Trump rallies? They can’t remember the recipe. <><><><><> How do you build a MAGA snowman? The same as a regular snowman, but you hollow out the head. <><><><><> Did you hear about the Trumper who bought an AM radio? He was amazed that it could still be played in the afternoon. <><><><><> A Trumper was filling out a job application. Where it said “Sign here”, he wrote “Scorpio”. <><><><><> How can you tell if a Trumper tried to send an email? There’s an envelope stuffed into the disc drive. <><><><><> Did you hear about the Trumper who refused to pay his garbage bill? They stopped delivery. <><><><><> The Proud Boys recently bought 1000 septic tanks. They plan to overthrow the government as soon as they learn how to drive them. <><><><><> What do you call a Trumper who speaks his mind? Mute. <><><><><> And then there was the Trumper who stayed up all night studying for his urine test. <><><><><> A Trumper called up a pizza restaurant and ordered a pizza pie. The owner asked, “Would you like us to cut it into six slices or eight?” The Trumper replied, “Just six. I’m not hungry enough to eat eight.” <><><><><> Did you hear about the Trumper who requested a burial at sea? His pallbearers drowned while trying to dig his grave. <><><><><> Why did the Trumper take off his clothes at the art museum? He wanted to expose himself to art. <><><><><> How did the Trumper lose an eye from drinking coffee? He forgot to take the spoon out of the cup. <><><><><> What do you call a Trumper with half a brain? Gifted. <><><><><> What are the happiest five years of every Trumper’s life? The first grade. <><><><><> How can you tell if a Trumper has been using your cell phone? There’s White-Out on the screen. <><><><><> What has 200 legs and an IQ of 45? 100 attendees at a Trump rally. <><><><><> What do you do if a Trumper throws a hand grenade at you? Pull out the pin and throw it back. <><><><><> A Democrat, an Independent and a MAGA Republican fell off of a building at the same time. Which one was the last to hit the ground? The MAGA Republican, because he had to stop on the way to ask directions. <><><><><> A Trumper is at a Chinese restaurant and the waiter asks, “Would you like to order Won Ton soup?” The Trumper replies, “I don’t think I can eat that much. Just bring me half a ton.” <><><><><> A man walks into a bar and says to the bartender, “I just heard the funniest Trump joke! Listen to this...” The bartender says, “Before you tell that joke, there are a few things you should know. You see our bouncer over there? He’s a Trumper. And you see those three bikers at that table right there? They’re also Trumpers. And I’m a Trumper too. So, are you sure you wanna tell that joke?” The man says, “Hell, no! Not if I’m gonna have to explain it five times!” <><><><><> [END] --- [1] Url: https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2024/9/2/2267499/-Recycled-Jokes?pm_campaign=front_page&pm_source=latest_community&pm_medium=web Published and (C) by Daily Kos Content appears here under this condition or license: Site content may be used for any purpose without permission unless otherwise specified. via Magical.Fish Gopher News Feeds: gopher://magical.fish/1/feeds/news/dailykos/