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What NOT to Wear [1]

['This Content Is Not Subject To Review Daily Kos Staff Prior To Publication.']

Date: 2024-08-24  

Four days of DNC Convention coverage — joyful, if also somewhat exhausting! And...interesting...from a fashion point of view in some cases. I won’t name names, mostly because I was focused on the outfits and missed the names on screen. However, I saw some “interesting choices” in evening wear on stage, and what I assume were neon-lit cowboy hats among the audience of delegates.

Most of the “questionable fashion” I see is locally displayed; I have to assume that these folks just don’t have a clue how to dress for certain scenarios. Some examples:

DRESSING FOR: Working in a bank, or other professional office —

A leopard print mini sheath dress,

With chunky gold bangle bracelets,

Over black fish-net stockings

And stiletto-heeled black patent leather boots.

UNLESS: You are an executive secretary, whose boss wears pastel plaid leisure suits.

DRESSING FOR: The first day of high school —

A neon-green & black nylon backpack

On top of a brown leather, sherpa-lined bomber jacket,

With blue & pink teddy bear fleece pajama bottoms

And red sneakers.

UNLESS: Your school’s dress code simply will not allow fuzzy bunny slippers.

DRESSING FOR: Retrieving mail from a curbside mailbox —

Knee-high camouflage hunting boots,

Navy blue and gray side-striped gym shorts,

And a white ribbed tank top undershirt that

Doesn’t quite stretch enough to cover your entire beer belly.

UNLESS: Your neighbors are sure to be fooled by the camo boots into not seeing you.

DRESSING FOR: Standing in line to buy baseball tickets in mid-August, at noon, outside —

A NY Yankees baseball cap, worn backwards;

A heavyweight white hoodie sweatshirt,

Over black sweatpants that are pulled up as far as your crotch,

And white basketball Nike sneakers.

UNLESS: You’re actually planning on watching the NY Yankees play; otherwise, the cap must match the team to be seen.

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