(C) Daily Kos This story was originally published by Daily Kos and is unaltered. . . . . . . . . . . Cheers and Jeers: Tuesday [1] ['This Content Is Not Subject To Review Daily Kos Staff Prior To Publication.'] Date: 2024-08-06 Up, Up, And Aw….. While we’re waiting for official word of Vice President Kamala Harris’s pick for, um, Vice President, let’s check in on the job the Trump campaign is doing selling J.D. Vance to the public: - Hey, I have an idea. Have they tried putting wings on a couch? And now, our feature presentation… Cheers and Jeers for Tuesday, August 6, 2024 Note: If you need a penny take a penny. If you have a penny, put it back and quit taking our pennies. - By the Numbers: 3 days!!! (How nice they included candy corn.) Days 'til election day: 91 Days 'til Ohio's North Ridgeville Corn Festival: 3 Percent of registered Black voters who told CBS News pollsters two weeks ago and today, respectively, that they will definitely vote this year: 58%, 74% Percent of registered women in the same poll who say Harris's and Trump's policies, respectively, would help women: 70%, 43% Percent chance that F-16s are now being flown by Ukraine against Russia, according to President Zelenskyy: 100% Surplus with which Maine ended the 2024 fiscal year: $93.5 million Prison sentence of the guy who stole the bronze statue of Jackie Robinson from a park in Wichita: 15 years - Puppy Pic of the Day: Day at the beach… - CHEERS to veep fever. I can't takes it no more, I tell's ya. Why is Kamala taunting us so? Why hasn’t Santa Harris brought us our gift-wrapped (don’t forget the air holes) vice presidential nominee yet? What is taking so long? I mean, gosh, it's only the person who will be a heartbeat away from the presidency. (Or, as George Carlin more accurately phrased it: "a lack of a heartbeat.”) Let's take a moment to pause for a last-minute possibility, during which time she might log on and drop the name here: x "As long as she keeps the walnut supply chain running smoothly, I don't care who Kamala picks as her running mate. But I do know this: choosing me would be historic and lock up the critical squirrel vote in the swing states." pic.twitter.com/f1x6kHXfVK — Bill Harnsberger (@BillinPortland) August 5, 2024 - Nope. I guess she's going to snub C&J and wait to break the news during her rally in Philadelphia today. Guess I can't blame her. But I will…..never…….forget. JEERS to Team Spoiler. While we're waiting on the above, this seems like a good time to check in with the morons and misfits trying to cash in on their Quixotic runs for the highest office in the land. Here's the latest: Jill Stein is still hobbling around at 74 with that stupid smirk on her face. Her biggest accomplishment this cycle: snagging the role of Vladimir Putin's bedtime story reader via Zoom, after the previous Russian one mispronounced a word during a reading of Goodnight Moon while standing too close to an open window. Highlight from the misfit table’s debate. RFK Jr. is still unloading baggage from his past, including his latest admission that, during a "busy day of falconry," he found a bear cub killed by a car and, because he was running late for " dinner at Peter Luger Steak House," dumped it in Central Park and fled the scene. He now says he never should've taken his brain worm's advice that night. Marianne Williamson, who dropped into the race, then dropped out, then dropped in again, has dropped out again. Cornel West actually made it on the ballot here in Maine. We're so excited we almost raised an eyebrow. Chase Oliver, the libertarian, is on the ballot in most states, and will siphon critical votes away from Trump. In an awkward moment played out at several polling places this November, someone in line will mention his name, followed by bedlam as voters pursue the election worker with the "Hi, My Name is Oliver" name tag around the room, Benny Hill style. And Deez Nuts? He's keeping everybody guessing. A worrisome stealth candidate, that one. CHEERS and JEERS to conflicting conclusions. The July numbers from the Bureau of Workin' Stiffs came out Friday: the Biden economy added another 114,000 jobs and the unemployment rate stands at 4.3 percent. Or, if you were watching Fox News: the Biden economy added 4.3 jobs and the unemployment rate skyrocketed to 114,000 percent. - BRIEF SANITY BREAK - x Simone Biles, the flipbook [📹 theflippisttiktok]pic.twitter.com/1U9fsiqK5y — Massimo (@Rainmaker1973) August 4, 2024 - END BRIEF SANITY BREAK - CHEERS to great moments in human dampness. On August 6, 1926, Gertrude Ederle became the first American woman to swim the English Channel. It took her 14½ hours. Know why? Because she kept stopping to check her makeup! Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha!!! This misogynist message brought to you by the National Consortium of Republican-Controlled State Legislatures, whose members just snorted milk out their noses. JEERS to very bad teachers. All my adult life I was taught the same thing by so-called "financial advisers" and "retirement gurus" and other professionals who make their living telling people how to invest their money. Namely, don’t obsess over what's happening on any given day down yonder on Wall Street. Keep your eye on the long-term picture, they said. Don’t make any sudden moves, they said. The markets will always have their downs as well as their ups, they said, so everyone just stay calm. So, naturally, yesterday these stoic and experienced experts all did the same thing when the markets dropped because of one so-so U.S. jobs report: [Goes out in yard and gently pats grassy patch where life savings are buried in mayonnaise jar.] Good thing I didn't listen to 'em. - Ten years ago in C&J: August 6, 2014 JEERS to the Big Scuttle. For the last several months, there's been a four-story "mystery barge" made out of dozens of shipping containers parked on the Portland waterfront (a twin was also tied up in San Francisco) getting "finishing touches" put to it. There was all kinds of speculation of what it was—an offshore site for interrogating terrorist suspects, condos destined for international waters, an evil Transformer sent from space to turn into a giant metal raptor and kill us all (that was my guess). Turns out it was the brainchild of Google, and was going to be a hip and edgy "floating showroom" for Google products. Once the Google News broke, Portlanders were smitten with "Google Wow!" But now our beta test with Google Fame has expired. The company is turning Google Barge into a new product called Google Scrapheap, leaving our tiny fishing village with Google Sadz that are causing our Google Tears to Short out our Google Glass. Pardon our French, but...Googledammit. - And just one more… CHEERS to site #1. Be sure to raise a glass to the internet today. It’s the 33rd anniversary of the first web site. As The Independent wrote on the 25th: It was British computer scientist Sir Tim Berners-Lee who gave birth to the idea while working at a Swiss physics laboratory in 1989. The first server was launched publicly, two years later, on August 6, 1991. Sir Tim originally developed the web to meet the demand for information-sharing between physicists in universities and institutes around the world. x Embedded Content Thanks, Tim, for giving Hamsters everywhere a place to dance. - By late 1993, there were more than 500 known web servers, and the world wide web accounted for 1% of internet traffic. Two decades later, there were an estimated 630 million websites online. It’s something like 1.1 billion sites now, though around 80 percent of them are inactive. You can see that first web page in all its geeky glory here. Today the United States ranks 5th in terms of overall internet speed and 11th in mobile internet speed, a big improvement from when we were in the 20-somethings. But anyway…on behalf of the porn industry, pootie lovers, Tik Tokking teens, and all five million widows of Nigerian foreign ministers who desperately want to give you millions of dollars if you'll just give them your bank account number, America would just like to say… [Buffering…] [Buffering…] [Buffering…] [Buffering…] ...TY LOL. Have a tolerable Tuesday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today? - Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial Long before Americans began flocking to Daily Kos for the 2024 election coverage, they came in droves for another coveted experience: To splash in the Cheers and Jeers kiddie pool. —USA Today - [END] --- [1] Url: https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2024/8/6/2260548/-Cheers-and-Jeers-Tuesday?pm_campaign=front_page&pm_source=trending&pm_medium=web Published and (C) by Daily Kos Content appears here under this condition or license: Site content may be used for any purpose without permission unless otherwise specified. via Magical.Fish Gopher News Feeds: gopher://magical.fish/1/feeds/news/dailykos/