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HELP WANTED: Superpower democracy seeks to fill critical vacancy [1]

['This Content Is Not Subject To Review Daily Kos Staff Prior To Publication.']

Date: 2024-07-21  

Large, northern hemisphere multi-cultural nation state (330 m) with strong democratic institutions urgently seeks major conservative political party to fill vacancy. The party will be a constructive political opponent to the existing major liberal political party, but also will serve as a strategic thought partner with the liberal party for the purpose of generating laws that serve the best ideals and interests of the nation.

Qualifications

Candidate parties must understand what democracy is and help make it work properly, in particular within a traditional two-party system that tends to flourish when these parties are primarily center-left and center-right, respectively.

Candidates who seek the destruction of the major liberal party with a will towards narrow, permanent one-party rule should not apply, but may wish to look for potential openings in other countries as they become available (viz. Iran, Russia, Hungary, Venezuela, etc.)

Applicants must have the ability and determination to uphold the nation state’s constitution and the impartial rule of law above party interests.

As the major conservative party in this system, the candidate party must be prepared to represent the core principles of healthy conservatism in a pluralistic representative democracy. These principles may change over time, but will reliably be characterized by the following key values: skepticism of radical or rapid change, ensuring that traditional national values, beliefs, and cultural norms are given a strong voice in national debates and policy making; generally preferring proposed solutions to major social problems that preserve the liberties and personal autonomy of individual citizens over proposed solutions that rely upon federal government direction and bureaucracy; generally preferring that governance take place at the most local level that is practical and effective in order to ensure that local communities enjoy maximal power; supporting the free enterprise system and ensuring that the voices and needs of small and midsize businesses are not set aside either by deference to the power of huge corporations or by federal policies that may place greater burdens on smaller businesses than large ones; following in the tradition of the Republican president who founded the EPA, respecting science and the value of being responsible stewards of the environment, a principle found in all major religions; upholding and defending all the amendments in the Bill of Rights with a leaning towards maximizing individual liberties in applying these rights to novel social or technological situations; supporting a robust and well trained military that is prepared to defend the nation and support our allies; following in the enlightened tradition of the Republican President Lincoln, working to end all forms of bigotry, racism, xenophobia, and otherwise unjust and inhumane ideologies and institutional practices that diminish the fundamental equality of all Americans; serving as a force for moderation and practical wisdom, including being flexible and open to problem solving strategies that are not traditionally conservative when broad social consensus or common sense demonstrate the sensible nature of such strategies;



To apply, candidate parties must be conspiracy theory and demagogue-free, and committed to country over party.

Workplace expectations

The party that fills this position will be working long and sometimes exhausting hours along with / in tension with the existing major liberal political party for the good of the republic. Passionate and sometimes heated disagreements will occur, and yet compromises will be regularly expected. The ideal candidate will engage these duties with an attitude characterized by earnest idealism, respectful debate and honesty, refraining from public displays cynicism, contempt and demonizing of the other party. No defamation of the patriotism or legitimacy of members of the other party or their supporters will be acceptable, and the same workplace rules apply to the other party.

Special Note of Urgency

This vacancy is the result of the recent loss of the nation’s longstanding conservative political party to a cult of personality based in irrational fear, gaslighting, demagoguery, deference to dictators hostile to the nation’s longstanding allies, and the abandonment of pragmatic, principled and reasonable conservative values. In consideration of these tragic circumstances, the employer seeks to identify excellent prospective candidates and to fill this position as soon as possible. In the very short term, the newly hired conservative party will be needed to join forces with the liberal party to defend this democratic republic from the ongoing attempt by the aforementioned cult of personality to dismantle its noble institutions and turn it into a dictatorship/one-party state for years to come.

Please fax resumes to 1-800-USA-HELP or email to: UncleSam@holyfuckthisshitisserious.now

Note: another version of this post is online at theaccidentalrabbi.substack.com/...

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