(C) Daily Kos This story was originally published by Daily Kos and is unaltered. . . . . . . . . . . How to Catch a Wild Hog: A Metaphor for Manipulation [1] ['This Content Is Not Subject To Review Daily Kos Staff Prior To Publication.'] Date: 2024-05-13 Part 2 How to Catch a Wild Hog: Begin by acclimating the hog to your presence: Start by leaving food in a designated area regularly, so the hog begins to associate the spot with sustenance without sensing immediate danger. Gradually introduce boundaries: Slowly start building a fence around the feeding area. Add one side at a time, allowing the hog to adapt to each change before introducing the next, ensuring it does not feel trapped until it is too late. Complete the enclosure: Once the hog is accustomed to the barriers, close off the remaining sides, completing the enclosure without startling the hog into fleeing. This method of catching a wild hog metaphorically illustrates how manipulators enclose their victims, not through sudden force, but through a series of gradual, often imperceptible steps that prevent escape until it is too late. Recognizing Subtle Manipulation I didn’t know I was in the presence of an abuser—that would have been too obvious. He spoke exactly as I had hoped, championing women's voices and earning praise as the keyboard warrior in our circles. His work in Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion (DEI) seemed to effortlessly combat conservative viewpoints. I believed his persona was genuine, a tragic misunderstanding on my part, never questioning whether his involvement was merely for a paycheck—after all, politics paid well. His engagement appeared authentic, his dedication unwavering. He bridged activism and advocacy with what seemed like conviction. However, a subtle dissonance lingered—moments where empathy was replaced by detached strategic analysis, treating empowerment as a mere chess piece rather than a genuine goal. Raising my concerns felt futile; any mention of not wanting to be lied to or manipulated seemed pointless unless I could financially liberate myself. His reminders of his control over me, combined with the fragility of his ego, often left me begging for mercy, apologizing for misunderstandings to avoid being separated from my son. His tactics of intermittent apologies and promises of change were just manipulations to maintain control, always reverting to excuses for his unchangeable behavior. Yet, there was a dissonance, subtle and often unnoticeable at first. It was in the nuances of conversations, the moments when empathy should have been the response but was instead replaced with a strangely detached strategic analysis. It was in the way he talked about empowerment online as if it were a chess piece, a tool to be maneuvered rather than a goal to be achieved. Have you heard of the 'Fawning' trauma response? It is akin to Stockholm Syndrome, where individuals appease others to avoid conflict, making them more susceptible to manipulation in unbalanced relationships. At the end, every fiber of my being wanted to scream: "Watch Out!" "Don't Listen To Him!" "Get Away From Him!" His facade had crumbled, revealing nothing genuine in his activism—just a calculated performance that deceived those of us passionately fighting for our causes. The betrayal was overwhelming, but it also instilled a new resolve: the need for vigilance, the importance of questioning motives, and the imperative to see beyond surface appearances. It is only at the end do I know my voice in every aspect of my body that wants to scream "Watch Out!" "Don't Listen To Him", "Get Away From Him!" The facade had crumbled, and the intentions laid bare—there was nothing genuine in his activism; it was all a calculated performance. A performance tailored so meticulously that those of us, fervently fighting for our causes, were blind to the manipulation embedded within his support. The realization hits hard. How many had he swayed with his calculated affirmations? How deep had he embedded himself into the fabric of our advocacy, only to twist it for his own gain? The anger and betrayal are overwhelming, but they also forge a new resolve. The experience, as harrowing as it is, becomes a vital lesson in vigilance. The importance of questioning, of seeing beyond the surface, becomes not just a practice but a necessity. In the aftermath, the challenge is to rebuild trust—not just in others, but in our own judgment. To learn from the deceit and to ensure that our spaces are safe, inclusive, and genuinely supportive. We must transform our pain into a protective vigilance, a call to others in our community to watch closely not just what is being said, but why it is being said and who truly benefits from the words. As we move forward, let this be our rallying cry: to embrace skepticism as a companion to our activism, to protect our communities with as much fervor as we promote our causes. And above all, to remember that those who truly stand with us do so not just in words, but in actions that affirm, support, and uplift without ulterior motives. Escaping the Fawn Response: Steps to Reclaim Independence [END] --- [1] Url: https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2024/5/13/2240508/-How-to-Catch-a-Wild-Hog-Entrapment?pm_campaign=front_page&pm_source=more_community&pm_medium=web Published and (C) by Daily Kos Content appears here under this condition or license: Site content may be used for any purpose without permission unless otherwise specified. via Magical.Fish Gopher News Feeds: gopher://magical.fish/1/feeds/news/dailykos/