(C) Daily Kos This story was originally published by Daily Kos and is unaltered. . . . . . . . . . . Cheers and Jeers: Thursday [1] [] Date: 2023-07-13 Oh! More Things I Know… ❀ Conservatives pre-July 4th: "Biden killed all our freedoms!" Conservatives on July 4th: "This is a moment to reflect on all the freedoms we cherish in this country every day!" Conservatives post-July 4th: "Biden killed all our freedoms!" ❀ I don't stomp on bugs anymore. I just apologize to 'em for what we've done to their planet and toss 'em a pizza crust. ❀ It's another day ending in y, and that means it's another day that the federal government-hating, state's-rights-humping red staters will be happily accepting a disproportionately large share of federal tax dollars distributed from blue-state taxpayers while simultaneously labeling them commies, socialists, and welfare cheats. Continued... ❀ It's ax murderer week on Jeopardy! ❀ If Trump was president, the GOP would look at the June jobs numbers (+209,000) and inflation report (9% down to 3% in one year) and hail him as the savior of the economy. But it's Biden, so...impeach. ❀ I've submitted my name to Pope Francis for sainthood. I performed the miracle of repairing an Ikea drawer without going mad. Also what I know: Dark Brandon delivers. ❀ During House hearings, Democrats are really good at making Republicans look really bad. ❀ My doctor said I need to watch my weight, so I installed a window in my belly. ❀ One difference between liberals and conservatives is, liberals correct their mistakes to keep up with reality while conservatives correct their reality to keep up with their mistakes. ❀ A stopped clock that's on military time is only right once a day. ❀ They say it takes 10,000 hours to master a skill. As of today I'm proud to announce that I am now a world-class squirrel feeder/counselor. ❀ And one for our visiting Q-Anon trolls: "Palmolive implants microchips while you do dishes. You're soaking in it now." And now, our feature presentation... - Cheers and Jeers for Thursday, July 13, 2023 Note: The C&J laundry service has been discontinued on account of we got lazy. You can grab your duds out in the garage. They’re under the family of raccoons. - By the Numbers: 7 days!!! Days 'til the Women’s World Cup Soccer tourney in Australia & New Zealand: 7 Days 'til the Riverfront Food Truck Festival in Hartford, Connecticut: 7 Number of jobs added in June: 209,000 Size of Bank of America's consolidated assets: $2.4 trillion Amount in fines Bank of America is paying from its petty-cash drawer for systematically ripping off its customers in various ways: $150 million Number of Heineken breweries and employees, respectively, operating in Russia, 16 months after pledging to leave in the wake of Putin's war crimes in Ukraine: 7 / 1,800 Number of idiots facing charges for shooting fireworks at police during the 4th of July festivities in downtown Portland, Maine last week: 4 - Your Thursday Molly Ivins Moment (an all-time classic, this one): [I]mmigrant-bashing is such an old American tradition. Back at the time of the Revolution, many Anglo-Americans worried about the terrible number of Germans engulfing the country. Since then, we've managed to work up a snit over the Irish, the Jews, the Polish, the Swedes, Bolivians, Bavarians, Bosnians, Russians, Italians, Sicilians, a great variety of Africans, Indians, Pakistanis, Maltese (sorry you missed that one—the Maltese once overran New York City deli counters), Cubans, Puerto Ricans and so forth. If you haven't been here long enough to get upset about at least one other group moving in, you must still owe the coyote (as immigrant-smugglers are called). Think of the rich verbal history of ethnic insults—Bohunks, Krauts, Polacks, Micks. […] Bush was planning to take a stab at resolving the problem, [b]ut the House Republicans had a hissy fit, claimed it was an "amnesty program" and demanded harsher measures, militarization of the border, a big fence. Not gonna work, y'all. Build a 50-foot fence, and they'll build a 51-foot ladder. Hire Halliburton with a no-bid contract to build the fence, and it will hire illegal workers to do it. —July 2006 - Puppy Pic of the Day: Bam Bam comes home… - CHEERS to pushing the 'down' button. Last week came news that the U.S. employment picture was still hunky dory under the watchful eye of our 46th president. And yesterday we got word that another wild economic beast they said could never be tamed was in the process of being fitted for a saddle to take the kiddies for rides down at the petting zoo: Consumer prices rose 3% last month compared to a year ago, marking a significant slowdown and raising hopes that a prolonged bout of heightened inflation is nearing its end. This graph cost me $5,999 to commission. Plus tax. The fresh data Wednesday morning from the Bureau of Labor Statistics arrives days after a government release indicated that hiring slowed last month but remained solid. The economy, the jobs report suggests, continued a gradual downshift in June amid a central bank effort to dial back activity and slash prices while averting a recession. […] The data released on Wednesday exceeded the expectations of economists surveyed by Bloomberg, who expected inflation to have fallen to 3.1% in June. The sector where inflation remains sky-high with no sign of abating: Republican egos. JEERS to today's edition of Nobody Could've Predicted…Except Those Pesky Lefty Bloggers. You knew it was coming. I knew it was coming. And right on time, the truth arrives via a Nissan van full of researchers at the site of that chemical train derailment in Palestine, Ohio, where railroad officials said everything was fine, just fine: According to the study, levels of a chemical irritant called acrolein detected near the derailment site on Feb. 20 and 21 were up to six times higher than normal levels recorded before the disaster. But local and federal officials had told residents it was safe to return home on Feb. 8. […] S’mores, anyone? Low levels of exposure to acrolein are associated with slow breathing and burning in the nose and the throat. Studies in animals have found that long-term exposure can result in damage to the lining of the lungs, abnormal lesions or nasal tumors. This has been today's edition of Nobody Could've Predicted…Except Those Pesky Lefty Bloggers. CHEERS to portable suds. On this most important date in 1568, a sudserrific scientific breakthrough was made: Dr. Alexander Nowell, Dean of St Paul's is reputed to have discovered the benefits of bottled beer by accident. According the History of the Pint, the Dean had decanted some beer into a bottle for a fishing expedition in 1568. He lost a bottle in the grass and, "when he came upon it again quite by chance a few days later, found it was still perfectly drinkable." The news of bottled beer was hailed as a major breakthrough among the clergy. Try stashing a keg under your robe during morning prayers sometime and you'll see why. - BRIEF SANITY BREAK - x This little boy found an older skater to hold his hand as he attempted a trick. And when he landed it, he had the sweetest reaction 😭 pic.twitter.com/I0Erdbdowb — CBS News (@CBSNews) July 7, 2023 - END BRIEF SANITY BREAK - CHEERS to putting NASA on notice. Now see here, you government science nerds down there in Florida and Texas and wherever else you're doing your spacey stuff. I've had just about enough of all this foot-dragging. I demand to see new photos from the James Webb space telescope that I helped pay for with my tax dollars or I'm calling the proper authorities. I'll give you to the count to three: one…two…thr x Prepare to be awestruck! @NASAWebb's NEW first anniversary image presents star birth as an impressionistic masterpiece with the Rho Ophiuchi cloud complex, 390 light years away. We're unlocking the secrets of the universe, one breathtaking image at a time. #UnfoldTheUniverse pic.twitter.com/p94JYBQcd9 — Bill Nelson (@SenBillNelson) July 12, 2023 Ooh. Pretty. Okay, thanks, you can go back to whatever you were doing. We’ll take over the analysis from here. So far I see twelve nickels, a can of hair spray and a box of Fig Newtons. I knew it—we are definitely not alone. JEERS to petty politicians. (Sorry, is that redundant?) 51 years ago today, the late George McGovern became the Democratic presidential nominee at the convention in Miami Beach. A while back some secret Nixon tapes were released, revealing #37 as that rare breed of paranoid—the sore winner: Several hours after the election, after 1:00 am, when vote totals are known, Henry Kissinger calls Nixon to congratulate him on the landslide victory: "It's an extraordinary tribute," he said. [...] Then they go after the loser, George McGovern: Heckuva job, American voters. You idiots. Nixon: "You know this fellow, to the last, was a prick. Did you see his concession statement?" [...] Nixon says speechwriter Ray Price urged him to send McGovern a message that he looks forward to working with him and his supporters for peace in the years ahead. Nixon: "And I just said hell no, I'm not gonna send him that sort of wire. I'll say this. Dick sure knew how to live up to his name. P.S. They say only the good die young. Henry Kissinger is currently 329. - Ten years ago in C&J: July 13, 2013 JEERS to Great Moments in Grammar Greatness! Today's gem comes to you courtesy of professional grifter Sarah Palin who, when asked if she would consider running for the U.S. Senate, said: “I’ve considered it, because people have requested me considering it.” Palin is currently working on a book designed as a bulwark against the War on Christmas. It comes out in November. The same month that her editor enters rehab. [7/13/23 Update: Palin is currently nursing her wounds from getting spanked twice by Democrat Mary Peltola in two 2022 elections up Alaska-way to replace deceased congressman Don Young. So now it’s back to front-yard brawls and babysitting the born-out-of-wedlock grandkids. Y’know...practicing them Republican family values.] - And just one more… HA HA!!! to revisiting the prediction of the century. With the 18th annual Netroots Nation convention getting underway today in Chicago, it's worth remembering that it all started as "Yearly Kos." (Kudos to Pastor Dan Schultz, Gina Cooper, and the team that put in the work to make that first experiment in Vegas such a chocolate fountainy success). But storm clouds gathered that same year when highly-influential right-wing journalist Noel Sheppard insisted that the Great Orange Satan was on the cusp of tumbling into the ash heap of history: IS THE DAILY KOS ABOUT TO IMPLODE? “Daily Kos imploding? I’d better put on my concerned face!” It appears that the post-Yearly Kos month from hell is continuing for Markos Moulitsas Zuniga, the proprietor of the Internet's premier liberal blog Daily Kos. After receiving some extremely negative press from major publications such as The New York Times, The New Republic and Newsweek immediately following his seemingly successful bloggers' convention in Las Vegas, Kos is now faced with an even greater challenge: dissension within his ranks. “Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha...psych!” Such internal squabbling comes at the same time that many prominent Democrats seem to be privately expressing concern about the direction the "netroots"—the self-described Internet grassroots movement of liberal bloggers and their loyal followers—are taking the Party. This seemingly inconvenient planetary alignment is not only threatening the long-term viability of this crusade, but also is putting Kos in an uncomfortable position just as his notoriety is skyrocketing. Seventeen years and seventeen successful Netroots Nation conventions later, "The" Daily Kos continues to not implode. We're on great terms with a large number of Democratic lawmakers (Elizabeth Warren, Raphael Warnock, Vice President Kamala Harris), and scores of exciting new candidates, unions, grassroots organizers, and dedicated crusaders inside the liberal universe. Sure, our occasional pie fights are the stuff of legend. But imploding? Please. That’s the Trump organization’s gig. Have a nice Thursday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today? - Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial "I did not like, for whatever reason, the Cheers and Jeers phenomenon. And it was a true phenomenon. Passed me by. I was much more focused on the Philadelphia Phillies than on Cheers and Jeers." —Jake Tapper - [END] --- [1] Url: https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2023/7/13/2180605/-Cheers-and-Jeers-Thursday Published and (C) by Daily Kos Content appears here under this condition or license: Site content may be used for any purpose without permission unless otherwise specified. via Magical.Fish Gopher News Feeds: gopher://magical.fish/1/feeds/news/dailykos/