(C) Daily Kos This story was originally published by Daily Kos and is unaltered. . . . . . . . . . . Whew! Ivanka and Jared Declined Trump's Invitation to Join His Staff Again if He Wins [1] ['This Content Is Not Subject To Review Daily Kos Staff Prior To Publication.'] Date: 2023-06-21 Great. Trump announced that Princess Coloring Book and her husband, Asst. Wormtongue, declined to be part of Trump’s White House staff if he’s elected to steal from the United States again. What a loss. But I do wonder what made them decide to turn down another opportunity to do monumental grifting and deep, deep destruction? Social calendar is booked that far in advance with invitations for ballroom dancing to the Box Trot? Maybe they want to spend more time with the children and watch Florida’s beachfront devoured by two oceans. It would be a great way to show the kids how to kick squatters off the last remaining sliver of land? “Sure you could shove them, but we like to step on the little people.” Or the Saudis need a golf starter and a beer cart girl at $2 billion a pop each for its LIV — Liquidating Its Victims — tour? Could it be they’re pooped from stealing national treasures, a 247 year old priceless antiquity called democracy and lots of oxygen? I’m really pissed about that oxygen. We could have used it to help burn down the chances of the GOP getting the presidency again. Hell, when they were in the White House they lifted everything that wasn’t welded or soldered down. Ha, even the silverware — gone. The Bidens had to use Chinet plasticware for the first few months they were in office. “Damn it! I broke another knife on this Trump steak they left behind. Darn thing is like a paver brick. Could you pass me the concrete saw and those shark molars? Really, they only left the Great White ones? Figures. I’ll just have some ice cream.” Ivanka and Jared are such friggin’ lightweights they make helium look like a block of granite. We need them in the White House again like we need MAGA Red window treatments in the Oval Office. “Russia, if you’re listening.” By the way, the above is not alluding to Russia’s Dissenters Disease and kitchen service windows conveniently located ten floors above the dining area — oops, there goes another meat dish — it’s about Trump cavorting with a certain known sociopath who helped plunged his country into a place it shouldn’t have gone. Yep, you guessed it, Rudy. Nah, just funnin’ ya. I do mean Putin, the runt of the litter. Oh, and I mean litter like the trash you find after a big sporting event, like the U.S. Census. That was almost trashed after Trump tried to do an end run and say that our country was only filled with right-wing whites and three-fifths of the people desperate to migrate. As for myself, I was thinking of heading to Mars until Elon Musk hyped his enthusiasm for it. Musk had a t-shirt that says Occupy Mars. I’m sure there is a weight and size limit on what you can take for the trip. I can see him mulling it over. “Gladiator suit, check. White tails tuxedo, check. Ego. Whoa, Houston we have a problem. That is definitely not going to fit in the overhead compartment. Hell, it doesn’t even fit on Earth.” Oh, and another thing we don’t need in the White House again. Melania. She had her day when she went mushroom hunting and hit it big. Of course, big is all in how you view it. We all viewed it as “Eeewww.” Which was followed by violent projectile vomiting and an October Fest tankard of battery acid for cleansing the palate. You could try to wipe your mind clean of that image, but you’d need several rolls of Bounty the size of mature sequoias. But don’t despair, I hear Trump has grudgingly agreed that Don Jr and the Thing can have Ivanka’s and Jared’s spots. He was asked about Eric and his wife, Lara, too. But, Trump said . . . “Who?” Well, time to get the welder’s mask out again just to be on the safe side. And I want to check into renter’s insurance just in case. Should have taken it out in 2016. Sure the premium would have been uber expensive, but, man, it would have been well worth it. [END] --- [1] Url: https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2023/6/21/2176704/-Whew-Ivanka-and-Jared-Declined-Trump-s-Invitation-to-Join-His-Staff-Again-if-He-Wins Published and (C) by Daily Kos Content appears here under this condition or license: Site content may be used for any purpose without permission unless otherwise specified. via Magical.Fish Gopher News Feeds: gopher://magical.fish/1/feeds/news/dailykos/