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Boebert and Mace perform as "The Genital Inspector General" [1]

['Jason Weisberger']

Date: 2025-01-25  

Nancy Mace and Lauren Boebert are on bathroom patrol at the US Capitol.

I am the very model of a Genital Inspector General,

Enforcing laws both laughable and vaguely puritanical,

I scrutinize your bathroom trips in ways quite intersectional,

And legislate what's right and wrong with vigor quite exceptional.

I make no room for nuance, just binary assumptions,

With policies designed to fuel the wildest misconceptions,

I've memos and decrees about the door you must be choosing,

Though logic says it's privacy that everyone is losing.

Lauren Boebert's battles rage to check your chromosomes and such,

While Nancy Mace declares it's just the law—not overmuch,

And though their rhetoric pretends to have some moral clarity,

It's really just performance masked as legislative parity.

I am the very model of a Genital Inspector General,

My rulings are intrusive, and my logic is ephemeral!

(Apologies, Gilbert and Sullivan)

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