[HN Gopher] FTC action against Match and OkCupid for deceiving u...
       ___________________________________________________________________
        
       FTC action against Match and OkCupid for deceiving users, sharing
       personal data
        
       https://www.reuters.com/world/match-group-settles-us-ftc-cla...
        
       Author : gnabgib
       Score  : 216 points
       Date   : 2026-03-30 15:32 UTC (7 hours ago)
        
 (HTM) web link (www.ftc.gov)
 (TXT) w3m dump (www.ftc.gov)
        
       | toomuchtodo wrote:
       | Federal complaint:
       | https://www.ftc.gov/system/files/ftc_gov/pdf/OkCupid-MatchCo...
       | 
       | Proposed settlement:
       | https://www.ftc.gov/system/files/ftc_gov/pdf/MatchGroupAmeri...
        
       | altairprime wrote:
       | Do I interpret the settlement proposal correctly that the
       | unlawfully-transmitted copies, and any training outcomes derived
       | from them, are _not_ ordered purged?
        
       | verdverm wrote:
       | I can think of a few federal agencies that need the same
       | treatment, Palantir too
        
       | tetromino_ wrote:
       | Key quote:
       | 
       | > Even though it did not have any business relationship with
       | OkCupid, the third-party data recipient asked the company to
       | share large datasets of OkCupid user photos and related data with
       | it because OkCupid's founders were financial investors in the
       | third party. OkCupid provided the third party with access to
       | nearly three million OkCupid user photos as well as location and
       | other information without placing any formal or contractual
       | restrictions on how the information could be used, the FTC
       | alleged.
       | 
       | I wonder what is this third party that the complaint does not
       | list by name?
        
         | ImJamal wrote:
         | Just guessing, but the third party company did not break a law
         | or go against their privacy policy.
         | 
         | Reuters says it is "Clarifai" if you wanted to know.
         | 
         | https://www.reuters.com/world/match-group-settles-us-ftc-cla...
        
           | rose-knuckle17 wrote:
           | no. but it seems possible, or even likely, that they used the
           | pictures to train targeting for military drones (think
           | Project Insight from Captain America:Winter Soldier).
           | 
           | I'm not sure privacy violations are the biggest concern here.
        
             | ImJamal wrote:
             | Maybe privacy concerns aren't your biggest concerns, but
             | they are for the FTC for a case like this.
        
             | alephnerd wrote:
             | > seems possible, or even likely, that they used the
             | pictures to train targeting for military drones
             | 
             | Clarifai's usecase is around unstructured image data search
             | which is fairly useful in cleansing and less so in
             | targeting.
             | 
             | More fundamentally, almost the entire tech industry touched
             | Project Maven - it was massive. And that was just 1 of
             | multiple initiatives led by the DoD.
             | 
             | And most other great and regional powers like China,
             | Russia, Japan, France, India, South Korea, Turkiye, etc
             | have all been working on similar projects for a decade.
             | 
             | It doesn't matter what country you live in - no nation will
             | leave capabilities on the table. Heck, a highschooler with
             | knowledge of OpenCV and the Google Earth API can build
             | targeting capabilities similar to what superpowers had a
             | decade ago.
             | 
             | It's 2026 - the Ukraine War started in 2014; the Syrian,
             | Libyan, and Yemeni Civil Wars in 2011; the Congo War
             | reignited in 2015; the Afghan War continued until 2022; the
             | Myanmar Civil War reignited in 2021; etc - there has now
             | been over a decade of constant development of dual use
             | technologies in both conflicts and civilian applications.
             | 
             | Technology has always had a military component - heck, much
             | of the "civilian" technologies in the 1990s-2000s were
             | refined and tested thanks to Gulf War 1 and the Yugoslav
             | Wars.
             | 
             | Or, framed in another manner - the capabilities disclosed
             | as part of the Snowden Leaks in 2013 were _already_ in
             | production 20 years ago. It is 2026.
             | 
             | There is a sense of starry-eyed idealism amongst a subset
             | of techies who didn't seem to realize that technology has
             | always been dual use.
        
         | CoastalCoder wrote:
         | I'm wondering if this means 3 million copyright violations that
         | could be litigated in civil court.
        
           | alsetmusic wrote:
           | > I'm wondering if this means 3 million copyright violations
           | that could be litigated in civil court.
           | 
           | Outstanding observation! Class action suit in the making.
           | Only lawyers get rich, but still could hurt the offenders
           | financially.
        
             | RiverCrochet wrote:
             | Look, I like the occasional $2 checks in the mail. For now,
             | I can buy a candy bar with it.
        
               | busymom0 wrote:
               | Here in Canada, even a chocolate bar has now gone up to
               | $3 at Walmart
        
               | joering2 wrote:
               | I have a gift for you: https://openclassactions.com/
               | 
               | You welcome :)
        
         | hector_vasquez wrote:
         | The FTC article links to the federal complaint[0] which names
         | the third-party data recipient as Clarifai, Inc.
         | 
         | "In September 2014, the CEO of Clarifai, Inc. e-mailed one of
         | OkCupid's founders requesting that Humor Rainbow give Clarifai,
         | Inc. (i.e., the Data Recipient) access to large datasets of
         | OkCupid photos."
         | 
         | [0] https://www.ftc.gov/system/files/ftc_gov/pdf/OkCupid-
         | MatchCo...
        
           | realreality wrote:
           | So, your dating photos were going to a government contractor
           | involved with AI killer drone technology.
           | 
           | https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clarifai#Military_work
        
             | ronsor wrote:
             | > Their technology was used by Unilever, Ubisoft, BuzzFeed
             | 
             | And apparently also your deodorant, Assassin's Creed, and
             | tabloid rags as well. That's what I call variety.
        
           | tamimio wrote:
           | > The platform includes the ability to moderate content,
           | perform visual search, visual similarity, and organize media
           | collections. It has pre-built recognition models that can
           | identify a specific set of concepts like food or travel,
           | NSFW, and its general model which can identify a range of
           | concepts including objects, ideas, and emotion.[18] It also
           | has the ability to create custom models which can identify
           | other arbitrary objects such as cars or breeds of dogs.[19]
           | The 2018 Model 1.5 with machine-labeled datasets claims to
           | recognize up to 11,000 concepts from object detection, as
           | well as things like mood or theme.
           | 
           | sooo, why are they after some dating profile pics if the
           | model was about "identifying and labeling pictures"? You can
           | safely assume their new model will be (already) trained on
           | your pictures to crosscheck you on other platforms or
           | surveillance system, coupled with accurate positioning, you
           | can guess the rest.
        
       | rationalist wrote:
       | No class action or fines for discrimination based on gender?
       | OkCupid gave users different prices based on whether they
       | selected male or female for their profile.
        
         | john_strinlai wrote:
         | > _OkCupid gave users different prices based on whether they
         | selected male or female for their profile._
         | 
         | never heard or thought about this before, but it kind of makes
         | sense for a dating app. its one of the only levers available to
         | them to attempt any sort of balance between user genders. it
         | sucks for everyone (including the users) if the male:female
         | ratio is like 20:1 or whatever.
         | 
         | i would rather pay a couple of extra dollars, relative to the
         | opposite sex, if it meant access to a wider pool of potential
         | matches.
        
           | justonceokay wrote:
           | If your main problem with a dating app is that men pay more
           | than women, then you're not going to like being in a
           | relationship very much at all :)
        
           | loeg wrote:
           | The ratio is that bad anyway.
        
           | hamdingers wrote:
           | If you exclude bots and otherwise fake accounts the ratio is
           | _much_ worse than 20:1.
        
             | john_strinlai wrote:
             | that sucks!
             | 
             | whatever more accurate numbers you want to substitute in
             | there is fine, the point remains the same.
        
               | hamdingers wrote:
               | My point is that what you're being asked to pay for is
               | wildly misrepresented.
               | 
               | To be more explicit: you're paying extra to give more
               | porn bots access to your inbox.
        
           | avgDev wrote:
           | Reminds of being a young guy and feeling annoyed when girls
           | are being let into clubs for free without waiting in line,
           | and I had to wait in line and pay. Sometimes I could not get
           | in because the club was "full", but the girls would be
           | allowed in.
        
             | mont_tag wrote:
             | If the service is free, you are the product :-)
        
             | duped wrote:
             | It used to be that promoters were paid per woman they
             | brought to the club and nothing for men, and they would in
             | turn charge a cover per man.
             | 
             | No idea how these businesses operate now. I'm sure there's
             | still sliding scales of sliminess based on the quality of
             | the club and its management.
        
               | deltoidmaximus wrote:
               | Aren't they going out of business in large numbers? I'm
               | not sure how much of that has to do with the dating scene
               | as much as it has to do with younger people drinking less
               | though.
        
               | duped wrote:
               | I think all attempts to explain "why <market based on
               | discretionary spending by young people> is failing" that
               | don't come to the conclusion "we're macro-economically
               | cooked" are wrong.
        
             | bluGill wrote:
             | In the 80's a club near me got into some sort of trouble
             | for that so they switched to skirt night - only a tiny
             | number of men were willing to wear a skirt to get in free.
        
         | Acrobatic_Road wrote:
         | There's so much shady and unethical behavior from these
         | companies I'm surprised there's not more lawsuits and
         | litigation against them.
        
         | CoastalCoder wrote:
         | Does anything in the FTC action prevent users from filing their
         | own class action suit(s)?
         | 
         | (Sincere question, not snark)
        
       | junkaccount100 wrote:
       | Throwaway account. I tried these sites a couple of times each in
       | the past (the UK versions at least). I'm married now and
       | fortunately don't have to deal with "the dating scene" and how
       | awful it is/was.
       | 
       | When I signed up for Match, about ten minutes into the process my
       | account suddenly changed to that of another man including
       | different photo, descriptions, orientation etc. I don't know why
       | this happened but it was absolutely mortifying and an outrage
       | Match did this. I dread to think how shit their code has to be to
       | somehow merge accounts or whatever happened. I deleted "my"
       | account immediately.
       | 
       | I imagine that counts as excessive sharing of personal data.
        
         | the__alchemist wrote:
         | I had my OKC account hacked or merged to in the same fashion.
         | I've never had this happen before with any online service.
        
         | Sohcahtoa82 wrote:
         | I met my current wife on OKC in 2010, before online dating
         | became an utter cesspool.
         | 
         | I've been out of the dating scene for 16 years now, but based
         | on what I see on social media, I think online dating sucks
         | today for three reasons.
         | 
         | 1. Many men (Not all, but many) are there simply because they
         | want to get laid. They're not looking for a relationship,
         | they're looking for a hook-up, and they're not honest about
         | their intentions. It doesn't help that people argue over
         | whether Tinder is a dating app or a hook-up app.
         | 
         | 2. I'm not sure how to put this without seeming misogynistic,
         | but some women greatly over-value themselves. Or at the very
         | least, they have out-dated ideas of courtship. Some of them
         | expect to be taken out to $50+/plate restaurants on a first
         | date, while many men think women are just trying to score free
         | meals. It's hard to make relationships kick off when they begin
         | so adversarial.
         | 
         | 3. Dating sites/apps have a financial incentive for your
         | relationship to fail. They can give you matches they know are
         | bad since it keeps you as a serial dater and on their app.
         | They're in a sticky spot where their most successful customer
         | is one that they will never see another dime from, and there's
         | not really a way around it.
        
           | yieldcrv wrote:
           | > misogynistic
           | 
           | the definition requires "contempt", but it has been diluted
           | to mean any statement that merely points out of corrosive
           | behavior
           | 
           | additionally, many of the statements are actually class based
           | and not inherently gendered, for example, we would call out a
           | man trying to date for free meals too, but since its seen in
           | contexts about women, its stated in reference to that gender,
           | masquerading as contempt and misogyny, but not highlighting
           | what is in the observer's heart and mind whatsoever.
        
             | cjbgkagh wrote:
             | Countries are starting to criminalize 'misogyny' which
             | includes interrupting women during meetings. I think Brazil
             | is in the process of enacting such laws. These are usually
             | being bootstrapped on civil right and hate speech laws.
        
               | matheusmoreira wrote:
               | The misogyny law was enacted only a few days ago. It
               | criminalizes "disinformation about women, even if true".
               | You read that right.
        
           | yieldcrv wrote:
           | > 1. Many men (Not all, but many) are there simply because
           | they want to get laid.
           | 
           | so are many women, unnecessarily gendered observation
           | 
           | you just hear less about guys crashing out over it
        
           | mjr00 wrote:
           | > Many men (Not all, but many) are there simply because they
           | want to get laid. They're not looking for a relationship,
           | they're looking for a hook-up, and they're not honest about
           | their intentions.
           | 
           | In fairness, this is not at all exclusive to online dating.
        
             | cyanydeez wrote:
             | Or starting a job; wanting to advance in the office; become
             | an entrepreneur; wanting to go into politics; wanting to go
             | into the clergy; wanting to become president; wanting to
             | visit islands; wanting run casinos; wanting to run beuaty
             | pagents...
             | 
             | Hrm...
        
             | dotancohen wrote:
             | In fairness, this is not at all exclusive to men.
             | 
             | My experience with OKCupid was that women must lie to get
             | laid, moreso than men. A man can state "just want sex" on
             | his profile and it is socially neutral. A woman who posts
             | such a thing has social consequences.
        
           | Forgeties79 wrote:
           | When you say "$50+/plate" are you saying the dinner itself or
           | each dish? Either way, (in the US) that is not considered a
           | particularly expensive meal for an adult taking someone on a
           | date. In 2026 you should expect $100-$200 bill with drinks
           | basically anywhere. Going out to dinner is not cheap. $100 is
           | actually a great deal unless we're talking chain restaurants.
           | 
           | If you don't want to spend that every first date, then I
           | would suggest not making dinner the first date. Do something
           | more casual first time around. Bar, coffee/walk, whatever.
        
             | Sohcahtoa82 wrote:
             | Fair question. When I think "$50/plate", I'm thinking $50
             | for just the dinner main course, not including drinks,
             | appetizer, or dessert.
             | 
             | > Do something more casual first time around. Bar,
             | coffee/walk, whatever.
             | 
             | The problem with that is there are women that will scoff at
             | a man trying to do something casual like coffee, tea, or
             | ice cream for a first date. They want to be wined and dined
             | and treated like a princess right off the bat. They think
             | they're a prize to be won simply by being a woman.
             | 
             | Though I truly believe that _most_ women are _not_ like
             | this. However, some are, and their attitude is probably
             | what keeps them perpetually single.
        
               | alistairSH wrote:
               | _The problem with that is there are women that will scoff
               | at a man trying to do something casual like coffee, tea,
               | or ice cream for a first date._
               | 
               | 404 Problems Not Found
               | 
               | If the idea of a causal first date appeals to you, but
               | not to the other party, you probably aren't a good match.
               | Swipe left and find somebody else.
        
               | Forgeties79 wrote:
               | If somebody gave me shade for a casual first date before
               | we've even met in person that's not someone I'd want to
               | take on a date anyway. Not even saying they're wrong or
               | unreasonable, just think that if someone is vocally
               | complaining about that maybe we aren't a good fit.
               | 
               | You clearly think it's poor behavior so why are you
               | worried about striking out with them?
        
               | gopher_space wrote:
               | > The problem with that is there are women that will
               | scoff at a man trying to do something casual like coffee,
               | tea, or ice cream for a first date.
               | 
               | You're using the casual meeting as a filter for certain
               | personalities.
               | 
               | There are plenty of people out there who prefer a more
               | formalized approach to dating, and good for them. You
               | have a different preference. Being selective is _good_
               | because it saves both of you time and there are no hard
               | feelings.
               | 
               | > They want to be wined and dined and treated like a
               | princess right off the bat. They think they're a prize to
               | be won simply by being a woman.
               | 
               | Thinking about people you aren't interested in will just
               | grind your gears.
        
               | Forgeties79 wrote:
               | Especially imaginary people fitting a caricature
        
             | mikebenfield wrote:
             | You've missed the point. The point is that the women in
             | question demand it. There is no shortage of women on social
             | media ranting about how lazy or cheap men are who want to
             | do coffee or drinks for a first date. Or especially a walk.
             | If you suggest a walk for a first date there's a strong
             | chance you'll never hear from her again.
        
               | alistairSH wrote:
               | So, you've saved yourself the time and expense of a
               | shared walk and two cups of coffee. Isn't that a win?
               | Unless you are just looking to get laid, in which case,
               | suck it up and buy dinner, I guess.
        
               | array_key_first wrote:
               | Yes, but the point is that people are not successful on
               | these apps because of those expectations. A lot of people
               | have sort of let the whole online dating thing go
               | straight to their head. And now, theyd rather die alone
               | than be slightly uncomfortable for a few minutes.
        
               | hackable_sand wrote:
               | Why are you guys so concerned with these people?
               | 
               | Let them live their lives. I guarantee you they are not
               | dying alone or whatever mortal curse you wish to invoke.
        
               | alistairSH wrote:
               | I'm not, was just responding to the apparent frustration
               | and finding people who want expensive dinners dates. If
               | that's not your thing, great, there are people out there
               | who would love a coffee and a walk or whatever. I'm one
               | of them. A formal dinner on a first date sounds awful to
               | my slightly shy and introverted self. I'd much rather go
               | hiking or something.
        
               | sapphicsnail wrote:
               | Most of the complaints I've seen are about men being rude
               | and aggressive.
               | 
               | I can tell you from experience that it's a lot scarier to
               | date men.
        
             | Marsymars wrote:
             | My reading of the comment wasn't that the problem is that
             | people expect dinner to be $50+/plate, it's that people
             | expect dates to be dinner, and $50+/plate.
             | 
             | The point is really that there's an expectation mismatch
             | around costs that shrinks everyone's pool of daters.
             | 
             | For actual numbers in Canada, the Globe and Mail recently
             | commissioned a survey showing about 47% of singles would
             | not be willing to spend more than 50 CAD (36 usd) on a
             | first date - and that 24% of singles think the man should
             | pay, compared to 0.2% of singles thinking the woman should
             | pay. So you can see the mismatch if you think about the
             | Venn diagrams there.
             | 
             | Source: https://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/article-is-
             | canada-facin...
        
           | stanford_labrat wrote:
           | > They're in a sticky spot where their most successful
           | customer is one that they will never see another dime from,
           | and there's not really a way around it.
           | 
           | naive question: why has no one made an app with the reverse
           | incentive structure? i understand that the current business
           | model is much more lucrative...but i feel like with how fed
           | up people are with the inability of modern online dating to
           | provide quality, long-lasting relationships a new platform
           | that optimizes for match quality and longevity would eat all
           | of Match Groups offerings lunches. i guess there just isn't
           | enough money to be made so it's not even worth it?
        
             | true_religion wrote:
             | The reverse incentive is used by match makers. It works
             | well for people seeking marriage since there is a legal
             | endpoint to be reached that can't be faked and is meant to
             | be permanent.
        
             | Telaneo wrote:
             | What insentives can an app maker provde to turn the
             | structure around?
        
             | johnnyanmac wrote:
             | > why has no one made an app with the reverse incentive
             | structure?
             | 
             | 1. Network effects. An app isn't like a new local business
             | where people will naturally wander in. They may already
             | exist but the market's captured everyone on the skinner box
             | services
             | 
             | 2. App stores. The deeper you look into the things needed
             | to advertise as a mobile app, the more obvious it becomes.
             | You need _milliions_ up front just to be featured in your
             | critical launch time. If you don 't, you fall into #1 and
             | it's hard to recover from the "it's so empty" early
             | impressions.
             | 
             | 3. As you said, any success despite #1 and #2 is destined
             | to fail. ad won't make that money up, so the only viable
             | idea is relying on a premium or subscription model. But
             | paid models in the era of "free" mobile apps is a hard sell
             | unless you can guarantee success. And dating is anything
             | but guaranteed.
             | 
             | That said other models have been tried to correct the
             | issues with the big apps. Limiting matches, reversing the
             | gender dynamics, based around special interests, etc. The
             | only one I think I saw any kind of success from is one
             | tailored towards rich/famous people meeting other
             | rich/famous people (surprise, surprise).
        
               | busymom0 wrote:
               | Also note that as of now, Apple developer guidelines
               | warns specifically of creating more dating apps. They
               | consider it spam.
        
             | Sohcahtoa82 wrote:
             | > why has no one made an app with the reverse incentive
             | structure?
             | 
             | You've identified the problem but failed to adequately
             | describe a solution.
             | 
             | The matchmakers need to make money, even to just pay for
             | the costs of running the service.
             | 
             | A monthly subscription to use the service creates the
             | perverse incentive to give bad matches. A one-time fee
             | makes unsuccessful users feel cheated out of their money. A
             | "pay us once you get married" option is ripe for abuse.
             | 
             | Even if the service is free and paid for by selling ads,
             | you'd run into the same problem of the subscription model:
             | They'd be incentivized to keep you perpetually single so
             | you see more ads.
        
               | lolc wrote:
               | What I want to see is a dating service where I can pledge
               | some money to some charity. Everybody on the site can
               | check what I've pledged, and I can release it anytime.
               | The service can take their cut, fine.
               | 
               | Now when I meet somebody through the service, and we
               | think it's serious, we can release that money. And we can
               | check whether the other did too!
               | 
               | Sure there will still be profiles with people that don't
               | pledge, because they're just testing the waters, or poor,
               | or scammers. Whatever. Point is I can send a signal that
               | at some point I want to be done with the service, and
               | then pay them for that.
        
             | leptons wrote:
             | I have no idea if they do this, but they should partially
             | or fully sponsor weddings of couples that met on their
             | service in exchange for a small ad at the venue. There's a
             | captive audience of potentially lots of single people
             | watching two people that met on their service get married.
             | It's a great advertising opportunity. I'd have happily put
             | a "This wedding brought to you by OK-Cupid" banner at the
             | bar at my wedding for $500 or $1000 towards the open bar.
        
             | socalgal2 wrote:
             | https://whatsyourprice.com
             | 
             | They used to have a sister site. They had these kind of
             | hilarious animated ads that made the whole thing seem so
             | logical. One ad targeted at women and the other at men,
             | both claiming that money meant you only got serious
             | requests. I wish I could find those ads, they were classic.
             | 
             | --
             | 
             | Found one of them: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yFo-
             | da_2rdI
             | 
             | --
             | 
             | Found the other: https://vimeo.com/21179683
        
             | miki123211 wrote:
             | There should be a "dating tax."
             | 
             | If you get married, there should be a "what app did you
             | meet on" question on the marriage application. Apps should
             | get $10/month for each relationship they create, for as
             | long as the partners live or until they get divorced.
             | 
             | This would encourage app makers to "get rid" of their users
             | as fast as possible, getting them into successful, long-
             | term relationships, instead of keeping them on the apps for
             | as long as possible to milk subscription revenue.
             | 
             | Considering the fertility crisis that most western
             | countries are facing, this is overwhelmingly likely to be
             | long-term revenue-positive for governments.
        
           | johnnyanmac wrote:
           | > Many men (Not all, but many) are there simply because they
           | want to get laid.
           | 
           | Honestly, that's fine. The issue was when the "get laid" app
           | suddenly decided to be the "find serious relationship" app.
           | Makes about as much sense as Roblox thinking about a dating
           | app, but I guess the MBA's told them it brings more monies.
           | 
           | > but some women greatly over-value themselves.
           | 
           | It's overblown, but the high level concept of "women are
           | picky" the inevitable course of nearly all dating aspects.
           | Evolutionary wise, women need to be picky due to their long
           | gestation period, and men aren't as picky because they can
           | copulate with dozens of women over the course of days. Add in
           | a caste system and the pareto principle, and even scenes from
           | millenia ago aren't as different from 2026 Tinder as you'd
           | think.
           | 
           | But of course your last point only polarizes this existing
           | natural phenomenon.
           | 
           | >Dating sites/apps have a financial incentive for your
           | relationship to fail.
           | 
           | This is why we needed to litigate these sites yesterday. But
           | we were too busy fighting amongst ourselves, like serfs
           | warring in the streets while the kings sit in an ivory tower.
           | This is an issue only regulation can fix. The human element
           | shouln't be sold off to capitalism, especially in this time
           | where people are supposedly concerned about falling birth
           | rates.
        
           | neonstatic wrote:
           | > Criticizes pathological behavior of some men openly
           | 
           | > Puts a disclaimer before criticizing pathological behavior
           | of some women
           | 
           | Nothing will improve until we as men stop gatekeeping
           | ourselves from stating facts openly, without apologies. Women
           | can be very shitty, often are, and that has to be said
           | without the need to preface it or soften the blow.
        
             | istjohn wrote:
             | What exactly will improve if men are more blunt and non-
             | apologetic?
        
               | neonstatic wrote:
               | Women are very sensitive to general approval and
               | consensus seeking. Once enough opposition is voiced to
               | certain behaviors, women will be more inclined to not
               | pursue those behaviors, at least in public.
        
           | 1659447091 wrote:
           | > Many men (Not all, but many) are ... not looking for a
           | relationship, ... and they're not honest about their
           | intentions.
           | 
           | > Some women ... expect to be taken out to $50+/plate
           | restaurants on a first date, ... women are just trying to
           | score free meals
           | 
           | > It's hard to make relationships kick off when they begin so
           | adversarial.
           | 
           | I think you're letting a judgmental and expectant point of
           | view toward certain women on the apps cloud over a very real
           | problem of why the apps are not very useful for finding
           | relationships. The basis of which is our expectations of how
           | we want others to be and when they are not, they are the
           | problem (justified or not) -- that then morphs into a
           | cascading sequence of issues, if engaged with, on repeat.
           | 
           | That these particular women, who have expectations, at least
           | say so -- up front. Yet comparing that with men are "not
           | honest about their intentions" (expectations).
           | 
           | How is a woman looking for an actual relationship suppose to
           | work with dishonesty? Men looking for an actual relationship
           | can steer clear of that impending disaster.
           | 
           | I can ignore someone who declares their expectations, which I
           | find off-putting. And if they don't declare it but expect a
           | mindreader and they instead get a coffee, well I'm out a
           | coffee and thankfully they showed who they were early and I
           | move on. Their loss, not mine. On the other hand, if my date
           | was stringing me along and lying about what they wanted until
           | I was deceived enough into handing over what that actually
           | was -- that's a far more consequential loss than a $4 cup of
           | coffee. We should want everyone to clearly state what they
           | want and expect, without the judgements, then everyone (with
           | proper intentions) would benefit.
        
       | rm999 wrote:
       | This article has more information - looks like this was from 12
       | years ago https://www.reuters.com/world/match-group-settles-us-
       | ftc-cla...
       | 
       | > The FTC said OkCupid users were never told their information -
       | including nearly 3 million photos, demographic information and
       | location data - would be shared in 2014 with Clarifai, a facial
       | recognition technology company, contrary to OkCupid's privacy
       | policies.
        
         | dang wrote:
         | Thanks - we've put that link in the toptext as well.
        
       | chaps wrote:
       | I once went on a date with someone who did research at OKCupid
       | who told me that they were doing NLP-style analysis of peoples'
       | messages that they sent to each other. Still not really sure what
       | to think of the date itself, but it was a fucked up admission.
        
         | m463 wrote:
         | makes me wonder if the person you went on a date with cherry-
         | picked you due to your data. (anyone who would post on hacker
         | news is obviously a good catch!)
        
           | toast0 wrote:
           | > anyone who would post on hacker news is obviously a good
           | catch!
           | 
           | "the odds are good, but the goods are odd" may apply here
        
           | chaps wrote:
           | You're funny.
           | 
           | I think the "only thing" that would make me cherry-pickable
           | from their data is that I used an autoclicker to give
           | everyone a 5 star... I have mixed feelings about doing that,
           | but I got a couple (surprisingly nice) dates out of it that
           | never went anywhere.
        
           | scottyah wrote:
           | If only they had the long term data too. It might make for
           | easier discussions on the first date, but maybe there's more
           | to opposites attracting/different roles in a relationship.
        
         | probably_wrong wrote:
         | If you remember the old OkCupid blog they used to post
         | interesting articles about online dating. I know their article
         | about whether you should smile on your profile picture was
         | eventually debunked [1], but it was nonetheless nice to have
         | objective, data-based, non-pua advice on how to be successful
         | in online dating.
         | 
         | [1] https://blog.photofeeler.com/okcupid-is-wrong-about-
         | smiling-...
        
           | jacquesm wrote:
           | You mistook a marketing effort for science.
        
             | loverboy69 wrote:
             | There was an actual effort at data science going on here
             | before the marketing team took it over in the latter years.
             | See the published book Dataclysm by one of the founders for
             | more of the good stuff.
        
         | scottyah wrote:
         | I did like that they shared a lot of hard data with insightful
         | analysis. At the time, there were a lot of narratives about
         | what women wanted and it was refreshing to see them post what
         | was actually working. I remember being skeptical about anything
         | being private online at the time, but I guess that perspective
         | wasn't as pervasive.
        
         | crazygringo wrote:
         | They did _tons_ of data analysis across all aspects of
         | profiles, and had a popular blog where they published the
         | results.
         | 
         | They were heavily involved in researching what factors more
         | reliably led to not just better matches, but better
         | relationships -- when you disabled your account, they'd ask if
         | it was because you'd met someone through OkC and ask you to
         | pick who, if you were willing to share.
         | 
         | I don't think there was anything fucked up about it, as long as
         | it was all anonymized and at scale. Trying to understand what
         | messaging strategies worked better or worse could be a major
         | part of figuring out how to improve matches.
         | 
         | Like, one obvious factor could be to match people who send lots
         | of long messages with lots of questions with each other, while
         | a separate set matches people who's messaging style is one
         | sentence at a time. I'm not saying that would necessarily work
         | well, but it's not crazy to research if NLP analysis of
         | messages can produce additional potential compatibility
         | signals.
         | 
         | The whole _point_ of OkC back then was to try to develop as
         | many data-based signals as possible to improve matches.
        
       | jgalt212 wrote:
       | > As part of a settlement, OkCupid, operated by Dallas-based
       | Humor Rainbow, Inc., and Match Group Americas, which provides
       | services for Humor Rainbow, will be prohibited from
       | misrepresenting its privacy policies.
       | 
       | Because everyone else is "allowed" to misrepresent its privacy
       | policies.
        
         | unyttigfjelltol wrote:
         | It's more like "strike one," and sets up a clear standard for
         | what happens if this continues, as it did in another well-known
         | case.[1]
         | 
         | [1] https://www.justice.gov/archives/opa/pr/facebook-agrees-
         | pay-...
        
       | john_strinlai wrote:
       | this kind of "action"/"settlement" is too funny:
       | 
       | >" _As part of a settlement, OkCupid [...] will be prohibited
       | from misrepresenting its privacy policies._ "
       | 
       | >" _Under the proposed settlement, OkCupid and Match are
       | permanently prohibited from misrepresenting or assisting others
       | in misrepresenting: [...]_ "
       | 
       | every company should _already_ be  "prohibited from
       | misrepresenting its privacy policies" and the collection/controls
       | stuff.
       | 
       | 12 years, including intentional obstruction of the ftc
       | investigation, and we get "please dont do that again". (dad
       | voice: im not surprised, just disappointed)
        
         | gruez wrote:
         | >12 years, including intentional obstruction of the ftc
         | investigation
         | 
         | To be fair, the complaint only alleges one instance of data
         | transfer, so it's unclear whether the privacy violations were
         | actually occurring for 12 years.
         | 
         | Claims that they were engaging in "intentional obstruction of
         | the ftc investigation" are also unsupported beyond the false
         | statements they made to the media and the users. It's like if
         | your nemesis died under mysterious circumstances, a journalist
         | asked you whether you killed him, you said no, and it turned
         | out you did. Is it a lie? Yeah. Could it be reasonably
         | characterized as "intentional obstruction of police
         | investigation"? Hardly.
        
           | john_strinlai wrote:
           | > _so it 's unclear whether the privacy violations were
           | actually occurring for 12 years._
           | 
           | i wasnt clear in my comment, but i meant it in the sense of
           | "12 years to resolve this one incident".
           | 
           | > _Claims that they were engaging in "intentional obstruction
           | of the ftc investigation" are also unsupported beyond the
           | false statements they made to the media and the users. _
           | 
           | i am not particularly inclined to take OkCupids side here,
           | and will default to accepting the FTCs allegation.
        
             | gruez wrote:
             | >i am not particularly inclined to take OkCupids side here,
             | and will default to accepting the FTCs allegation.
             | 
             | Yeah you're right. The part about obstructing the
             | investigation was in the press release but I was only
             | looking at the complaint.
        
         | ryandrake wrote:
         | The US Government routinely treats corporations with kid
         | gloves. When they're found to be breaking the law, the company
         | usually says "oopsie doopsie, did we do that??" and the
         | government in turn settles with "naughty, naughty, just don't
         | do it again!" It's like kindergarten punishment. But if you or
         | I break federal law, it's PMITA Prison for us.
        
           | mrguyorama wrote:
           | Americans _explicitly_ voted for this. From Reagan on, it was
           | explicit policy that we should leave corporations be, for god
           | knows what bullshit reason. Then, _finally_ Biden 's admin
           | started gearing up the government to actually enforce the
           | laws on the book for a functional market.
           | 
           | So people voted for not that. Again.
        
       | mlmonkey wrote:
       | All of these sites do shady shit. I'm so glad I'm no longer
       | single.
       | 
       | I signed up for eHarmony with a unique email address dedicated to
       | that site. After wasting 6 months, I chose to delete my account.
       | 
       | Lo and behold, soon spam started to show up on this account, as
       | if the floodgates had been opened. It was a unique account that I
       | had not used anywhere else just for this specific reason, and my
       | hunch was justified.
        
         | johnnyanmac wrote:
         | They were good 15 years ago. As with all things, it went to
         | shit when Match.com started consolidating everything and the
         | bean counters realized that a quality product was not as
         | profitable.
         | 
         | Surprised it took this long to get litigation. So many people
         | complaining about how crap dating sites are, but no one thought
         | to realize the site itself was the problem and fell into the
         | whole "looksmaxxing" grift. Some people really will do anything
         | except admit that rich people are corrupt.
        
           | socalgal2 wrote:
           | My experience was poor more than 15 years ago so ymmv
        
           | miki123211 wrote:
           | Dating sites are an extremely hard business to be in.
           | 
           | On a traditional (social) network, whether that'd be
           | Facebook, the railroad or the Bloomberg Terminal, you have
           | the network effect. The more users you get, the more
           | interesting the network becomes, which means yet more users
           | want to join. This is a positive feedback loop.
           | 
           | The entire point of a dating site is to find somebody to
           | leave that site with. Statistically speaking (and at that
           | scale, statistics is the only thing that matters), attractive
           | users[1] are more likely to find a match and leave, while
           | unattractive users are likely to stay (or come back) and keep
           | looking. As time goes on, the fraction of unattractive users
           | will keep increasing. You can fix this with enough growth,
           | but exponential growth can't go on forever due to population
           | size constraints. And once you get into that state, your
           | growth will be constrained further, which just puts you onto
           | a downward slide into hell.
           | 
           | And then there's the question of revenue. It's hard to
           | scalably do deals where the user must pay you when they find
           | a relationship on the site (like the matchmaking services of
           | old used to do), so subscriptions or one-time fees are your
           | only options. Neither of them are great, subscriptions
           | encourage you to keep users on the site (which puts your goal
           | opposite to what the users want), one-time fees work against
           | the network effect and constrain growth.
           | 
           | [1] By "attractiveness", I mean something much wider than
           | just visual / physical attractiveness. An ability to enter
           | and maintain a successful long-term relationship in general.
        
         | reaperducer wrote:
         | _After wasting 6 months, I chose to delete my account.
         | 
         | Lo and behold, soon spam started to show up on this account, as
         | if the floodgates had been opened._
         | 
         | Facebook is also guilty of this.
         | 
         | I set up a Facebook account for a relative around 2006. The
         | e-mail address is name_facebook@ a domain that I control.
         | 
         | Every six months or so, Facebook will send out almost daily
         | e-mails for a month saying "Person x commented on your post!"
         | or some variant. You know how I know this relative of mine
         | didn't make a new post?
         | 
         | He's been dead since 2011.
        
         | leptons wrote:
         | I do this for every site I sign up for. I have a 'catch all'
         | email address, so I can put whateverIwant@mydomain.com and the
         | emails will get to my inbox. So now I know who is selling or
         | leaking my email address. So far it's been very few, but I also
         | don't sign up for new sites very often.
        
       | guelo wrote:
       | When match was illegally allowed to buy okcupid an then tinder in
       | violation of antitrust laws is when I realized how thoroughly
       | libertarian propaganda has won and is destroying the country. I
       | mean we've now fully legalized gambling and bribery of
       | politicians for the sake of fake freedom. We're cooked.
        
         | crazygringo wrote:
         | What are you talking about? Match didn't buy Tinder.
         | 
         | IAC had owned Match.com for a while and then _developed_ Tinder
         | from scratch.
         | 
         | Match didn't buy Tinder. Tinder was always part of the same
         | company from day one.
        
           | loverboy69 wrote:
           | You're right, and you're wrong.
           | 
           | IAC owned both Match and HatchLabs (which developed Tinder in
           | 2012). They were later merged into one entity, and even later
           | spun off from IAC altogether. They were "part of the same
           | company" in that giant mega-corp super conglomerate owned
           | both, but practically they were fully separate entities when
           | Tinder was created. Match didn't buy Tinder, but it was
           | merged with Tinder by parent company, just like OkCupid was
           | acquired by IAC and merged with Match.
        
             | crazygringo wrote:
             | I mean, I was trying to keep it simple. :) I suppose it all
             | comes down to what you mean by "fully separate entities"...
             | but at the end of the day it _was_ all under IAC. The
             | corporate control and reporting structure went up to the
             | CEO and board of IAC. Hatch Labs was an incubator IAC
             | _created_ specifically for developing things like Tinder.
             | Yes Tinder got reshuffled and eventually it was all spun
             | off but Tinder started under the same roof as Match. It
             | wasn 't bought.
        
       | nodesocket wrote:
       | I'm almost certain these dating apps, including Hinge and Bumble
       | are creating loads of good-looking fake women profiles to attract
       | male users and keep their platforms "sticky". There are
       | suspicious telltale signs like location downtown when nobody says
       | they live downtown in my area. The same responses and prompts
       | across multiple profiles. It's equivalent to them cooking their
       | books, but with vanity metrics.
        
         | jarjoura wrote:
         | Or the more realistic, less tin-foil-hat reason, sophisticated
         | chat bots are a real problem and dating platforms aren't immune
         | to them.
        
           | Tostino wrote:
           | Why are you giving these companies the benefit of the doubt
           | when they've already shown that they do this in the past?
        
           | mikkupikku wrote:
           | Realistically the party with the most straight forward
           | financial incentive to do this should be the first we
           | suspect, and that would certainly be the platform itself.
        
           | ramesh31 wrote:
           | >Or the more realistic, less tin-foil-hat reason,
           | sophisticated chat bots are a real problem and dating
           | platforms aren't immune to them.
           | 
           | I can tell you with absolute certainty from working in the
           | industry a decade ago that the entire business model revolves
           | around fake female profiles and dark UX patterns (lies) to
           | trick lonely men. I can vividly remember that it was this big
           | open secret that we all had to dance around all the time,
           | pretending our product was legitimate and helping people.
           | It's literally the only viable model for dating apps and
           | sites; anyone who is actually successful at using them stops
           | paying. I have no doubt the big apps are using their own LLM
           | bots at this point.
        
         | globular-toast wrote:
         | I don't know. I don't think they need to. There are enough
         | women who love the attention they get on these apps.
        
         | ninininino wrote:
         | https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pig_butchering_scam
         | 
         | > We invest $125 million annually in trust and safety teams,
         | features and initiatives to help prevent and disrupt potential
         | harm on and off our platforms. As we outlined in our Impact
         | Report, we remain focused on several areas, including safety
         | policy, features, social advocacy, law enforcement operations
         | and outreach, and safety by design.
         | 
         | from:
         | 
         | https://mtch.com/single-news/922/#:~:text=We%20invest%20$125...
         | 
         | "Americans are losing at least $119 billion every year to
         | scams, according to a new estimate from the nonprofit Consumer
         | Federation of America, a consumer advocacy group."
         | 
         | from:
         | 
         | https://www.nbcnews.com/tech/security/scam-cost-price-money-...
        
       | hulitu wrote:
       | > FTC action against Match and OkCupid for deceiving users,
       | sharing personal data
       | 
       | Google ? Meta ? Microsoft ? Oh, i see, they pay well.
        
       | fortran77 wrote:
       | They should also go after Grindr which--according to Gavin
       | Newsom's official campaign X account--reveals information about
       | Newson's political oppponents
       | 
       | https://x.com/GovPressOffice/status/2036864339722875380
        
       | tamimio wrote:
       | > related data with it because OkCupid's founders were financial
       | investors in the third party
       | 
       | can we know that third party?!
        
       | MoonWalk wrote:
       | "As part of a settlement... will be prohibited from
       | misrepresenting its privacy policies."
       | 
       | Did I miss it, or were there no other parts to this settlement
       | mentioned?
       | 
       | In other words: no punishment at all.
        
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