[HN Gopher] HP trialed mandatory 15-minute support call wait tim...
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       HP trialed mandatory 15-minute support call wait times (2025)
        
       Author : felineflock
       Score  : 296 points
       Date   : 2026-03-20 13:23 UTC (9 hours ago)
        
 (HTM) web link (arstechnica.com)
 (TXT) w3m dump (arstechnica.com)
        
       | jqpabc123 wrote:
       | Just further cements HP's position as one of the most anti-
       | consumer multi-national companies in existence.
        
         | aurizon wrote:
         | I love the way they snatch defeat from the jaws of victory with
         | their actions
        
         | alnwlsn wrote:
         | You would never suspect they once made some of the world's
         | finest test/scientific equipment.
        
           | bell-cot wrote:
           | Rome once ruled the greatest empire on earth. Vs. look at the
           | last few centuries of Italian history. Regression to
           | mediocrity seems an inescapable part of human endeavor.
        
           | bombcar wrote:
           | I'd argue that their excellent test equipment and printers
           | _allowed_ this to happen; anyone who made generic shit would
           | have been quickly killed by all the blunders they made.
        
           | StableAlkyne wrote:
           | They sort of still do!
           | 
           | It's just HP and HPE split up. HPE took all the nice
           | enterprise stuff, plus the supercomputing business (they own
           | Cray). HP took the consumer stuff, and proceeded to milk as
           | much as they could.
        
             | _ks3e wrote:
             | The spinoff for lab and scientific equipment (Agilent,
             | 1999) happened long before the HP/HPE split (2015).
        
             | rnrn wrote:
             | No, wrong decade and wrong split - the test & measurement
             | equipment and scientific equipment was long gone from HP at
             | the time of the HP -> HP inc + HPE split. It ended up in
             | Agilent (1999) and from there Keysight.
             | 
             | HP semiconductors went HP -> Agilent -> Avago, now
             | broadcom.
        
               | StableAlkyne wrote:
               | Interesting, had no idea they used to make proper lab
               | equipment
        
               | anonymousiam wrote:
               | I've got two garages full of 80's and 90's HP lab
               | equipment, and most of it even works. In that era, HP had
               | the best hardware design/production capability in the
               | world.
               | 
               | Unfortunately, in the same era, their software was almost
               | always complete crap. I think the same rigid processes
               | and controls that allowed them to make great hardware
               | were the reason their software was awful. Their rigid
               | processes made changing the software difficult, so it was
               | harder for the devs to improve (and they usually didn't
               | bother).
        
           | pjmlp wrote:
           | And great technologies as well, HP-UX (Vault was one of the
           | first UNIX containers), Modula-3 (Olivetti/Compaq became part
           | of HP), ...
        
             | justin66 wrote:
             | Those HPUX machines were _hot!_
             | 
             | No, seriously, sometimes they caught on fire.
        
               | pjmlp wrote:
               | Interesting, I used HP-UX across a few years, but never
               | heard of heat moments that would require using an
               | extinguisher on the server room.
        
               | justin66 wrote:
               | I only ever heard of HPUX workstations catching fire. No
               | idea about their servers.
        
       | fancyfredbot wrote:
       | Someone presumably pitched this idea within HP and other people
       | agreed it was something they should try. I guess probably HP
       | didn't put its best and brightest in charge of call centres but
       | still, isn't that sort of amazing?
       | 
       | I wonder if it's the same people who eventually decided it was a
       | bad idea after all, or whether some other group discovered what
       | was happening and got them to stop.
        
         | archerx wrote:
         | Let's not kid ourselves, they knew exactly what they were
         | doing. They were hoping people would just hang up and give up.
         | This would save money in the short term but lose money in the
         | long term but that's what you get when the current quarter is
         | all that matters.
         | 
         | Anyway my experience with HP has taught me to never buy their
         | products ever again.
        
         | whizzter wrote:
         | Optimizing the wrong thing, probably wanted to shave customer
         | support costs by having lower call volumes, but those that need
         | support probably were hanging onto the calls since nobody that
         | can fix things calls support (so no savings) AND reduced
         | customer satisfaction.
        
         | dfxm12 wrote:
         | It depends what your goal is. If HP gets charged per call
         | answered, then their goal is to minimize the number of calls
         | they answer. If they see a most of their calls are like "my
         | internet is slow" or the laptop won't turn on because it's not
         | charged up, it's easy to see how this could be approved. Same
         | thing if they've just spent a ton of money on some AI chat
         | agent that they need to justify as well.
        
         | Foobar8568 wrote:
         | Depending of the country, legislation (and changes in them),
         | the waiting time might be taxed as well. So a way to recoup
         | some little costs.
        
         | halapro wrote:
         | I think HP was absolutely right in doing this. How many times
         | have you opened a GitHub issues only to come back an hour later
         | with "nvm I figured it out" and close it?
         | 
         | The hope is always that you figure it out autonomously.
        
           | nkrisc wrote:
           | If offering free support is too expensive, then they
           | shouldn't offer free support, instead of externalizing the
           | costs by wasting the time of every customer who calls.
           | 
           | Charge callers some small fee and refund it if it was a real
           | issue.
        
         | Macha wrote:
         | I've seen it pitched here even, with the idea that deflecting
         | some call volume will make call centre jobs less hell. The
         | thing it misses is that call center jobs are hell because
         | they've used metrics to optimise to the minimum number of
         | staff, and any reduction in average call volume will just
         | result in the company cutting staff, so now staff still have
         | the same workload but callers are XX minutes of waiting more
         | frustrated.
        
       | john_strinlai wrote:
       | > _the wait times aimed to "influence customers to increase their
       | adoption of digital self-solve, as a faster way to address their
       | support question. This involves inserting a message of high call
       | volumes, to expect a delay in connecting to an agent and offering
       | digital self-solve solutions as an alternative."_
       | 
       | > _Even if HP's telephone support center wasn't busy, callers
       | would reportedly hear: We are experiencing longer waiting times
       | and we apologize for the inconvenience._
       | 
       | i am absolutely positive, without proof of course, that this is
       | an extremely common practice. my isp does the exact same thing
       | with basically the same wording. over the years i have called at
       | all times of the day, all days of the week, across all seasons,
       | and it is _always_ "we are experiencing high call volumes right
       | now. but hey, did you know you can do lots of stuff on the
       | website? go to the website. please use the website".
       | 
       | i almost (not really) respect HP for at least admitting to it,
       | rather than all the companies that i suspect are still doing this
       | in the shadows and will never admit to it.
        
         | philipallstar wrote:
         | I think it is a common practice, and another I think will be
         | just a static set of times that they play the "higher than
         | average call volumes" message, rather than anything dynamic. I
         | think call centre stuff is incredibly basic, even though the
         | domain isn't that complicated.
        
           | jandrese wrote:
           | Even in my internal company tech support line they play that
           | "higher than expected call volumes" message, but their
           | website also has counter on it that tells you just how many
           | people are on hold and even when it is just one (me) it plays
           | that message.
        
             | InitialLastName wrote:
             | Easy for that to be true: just set your expectations to
             | zero.
        
             | bombcar wrote:
             | The only ones I believe are the ones that tell you the
             | estimated wait time or number ahead of you (most of which
             | offer to call you back).
             | 
             | It _is_ funny to hear  "our wait times are higher than
             | average, your wait is estimated to be zero minutes".
        
           | Symbiote wrote:
           | It can't be that complicated.
           | 
           | My doctor's office phone manages "You are number two in the
           | queue". Somewhere, maybe it was a previous doctor, added "and
           | should expect to wait about 5 minutes".
        
           | jerf wrote:
           | All call centers are actually located in Lake Wobegon, where
           | all the call wait times are above average.
           | 
           | ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lake_Wobegon#Recurring_monolo
           | g... , for the probably many people who don't know the
           | reference.)
        
         | salawat wrote:
         | >i am absolutely positive, without proof of course, that this
         | is an extremely common practice. my isp does the exact same
         | thing with basically the same wording. "sorry, high call
         | volumes right now. but hey, did you know you can do lots of
         | stuff on the website? go to the website. please use the
         | website".
         | 
         | Look up Erlang numbers for call centers. We absolutely know how
         | to calculate required reps for a desired queue dwell. It is
         | 100% a voluntary decision to degrade the Call Center to push
         | people to web based automation. Consider this your proof. We
         | have the equations. Executives make the active decision to not
         | use them/use them to shift cost burden.
         | 
         | t. Helped implement a Call Center before, and we aimed for sub
         | 5 minute queue dwell at all hours of the day.
        
           | carefulfungi wrote:
           | Wait time is calculable; but you need an accurate forecast to
           | staff and schedule. When I last worked in this space,
           | forecasts were generated down to 15m granularity and agent
           | work schedules (hours, break times, etc.) were derived from
           | those forecasts.
           | 
           | I wonder how these systems work now...
        
           | miki123211 wrote:
           | What if you get a large number of people calling at very
           | particular times? E.G. what if you're getting far more calls
           | at 09:00 than at 09:15? You can't hire agents just to handle
           | a 15-minute surge.
           | 
           | Erlang's model assumes that the world is static or at least
           | predictable; it doesn't take into account things like the
           | superBowl, a hurricane cancelling 90+% of flights from a
           | major airport, or a much-larger-than-usual number of
           | customers trying to cancel because of a previously-
           | confidential price increase now being publicly announced.
        
             | sdwr wrote:
             | Baseline demand affects the numbers much more than the
             | unpredictable spikes do. You can come up with edge cases if
             | you like, but the reality is that it all averages out
             | pretty well with large volume.
        
         | voakbasda wrote:
         | Did they admit to it? Or get caught?
        
         | sharkweek wrote:
         | There's no doubt this is true in my mind.
         | 
         | I honestly bet 75% of the time I hear "We are currently
         | experiencing high call volumes" someone answered within a
         | minute or two.
         | 
         | In some sense that has the befit of a "surprise and delight"
         | moment too because the consumer might be prepared to wait
         | longer and then "whoa nice, that wasn't so long!"
        
         | vjvjvjvjghv wrote:
         | "i am absolutely positive, without proof of course, that this
         | is an extremely common practice. "
         | 
         | Health insurance does this for sure. From what I have seen I am
         | convinced they have sophisticated systems to frustrate patients
         | and providers until they give up.
        
       | eviks wrote:
       | > and offering digital self-solve solutions as an alternative
       | 
       | But you don't have those as a real alternative! Yes, you do have
       | some "digital", but it's of the same awful quality as this
       | mandatory 15min rule.
        
         | bombcar wrote:
         | The main problem is that once someone has made the decision to
         | call, _they 've made their decision_ - a 15 minute hold isn't
         | going to bother them much, and they certainly aren't going to
         | do anything but sit there holding the phone.
         | 
         | If, instead, they had said "we'll call you back in about 15
         | minutes" and at the same time sent an email with chat/self help
         | options it might have worked, because then you DO have 15
         | minutes to dick around.
        
       | cjs_ac wrote:
       | The danger in assuming that all your customers who request
       | support are the sort of person who couldn't empty water from a
       | boot with instructions written on the heel is that all of your
       | competent customers will seek out your more respectful
       | competitors, leaving you with _only_ those who couldn 't empty
       | the boot, thus maximising your support costs.
        
         | omcnoe wrote:
         | It's a self fulfilling prophecy. You can see these exact same
         | market dynamics at work in the mobile telco industry. Newer
         | online only upstarts able to save on costs because they don't
         | operate a retail store you can visit to get help resetting your
         | email password.
        
           | Clent wrote:
           | Isn't that the opposite though? Having a store for the
           | customer to get face-to-face support is sometimes necessary
           | even those who prefer it all to be online. It acts as a stop
           | gap to people otherwise low support customers.
           | 
           | The newer upstarts you mention are self selecting for
           | customers who would do everything they can to never make a
           | support call. They are just another form of having a 15
           | minute wait time because online only is it's own customer
           | service barrier.
        
             | array_key_first wrote:
             | With sims switching to e-sim there's basically no reason to
             | have in person support for cellular service. There's
             | nothing they can do, outside of what they can already do
             | online or over the phone. Like, if you go to an AT&T store
             | with a broken e-sim they can't wave a magic wand. They'll
             | probably just reset it on their end, like they could do
             | over the phone.
        
               | ryandrake wrote:
               | Some people just prefer going into a physical place and
               | talking to someone in a face to face conversation they
               | can understand. I'll very rarely want to sit in a phone
               | queue just to talk to "Jason" who has a thick Filipino
               | accent sitting in a crowded support room talking through
               | what sounds like a a 1kbps VOIP connection. And I'm never
               | going to text chat an AI bot for help.
               | 
               | Contrast that to my kid who is horrified by in person
               | interactions and thinks that the kiosks at McDonalds were
               | the world's greatest recent invention.
               | 
               | Not to mention people with disabilities that make one
               | form of communication the only option.
               | 
               | People are different and good companies try to serve them
               | all.
        
             | xp84 wrote:
             | No. In the case of cell phone carriers, the only times in
             | the past 10 years I have ever darkened the door of a retail
             | store is times when the carrier was too incompetent to let
             | me get my problem solved another way. For instance, there
             | was a time at AT&T where if you had acquired a brand new
             | unlocked iPhone that needs eSIM, you needed to receive a
             | physical piece of cardboard printed with a unique QR code
             | on it in order to activate it successfully.
             | 
             | I've been with US Mobile for years now and never once felt
             | the need for a physical store.
        
             | ssl-3 wrote:
             | Centralizing support generally saves money.
             | 
             | There's a lot of reasons for this. One of them is that it
             | tends to be a lot cheaper to have one building in Denver to
             | host support people than to have many buildings in every
             | city.
             | 
             | Besides that concept, they're selling telephone and data
             | services. It makes sense to -- you know -- make use of
             | them.
             | 
             | When we had a telephone issue back in the landline days, we
             | didn't load ourselves up into the car and go to a store to
             | get help from someone in person; we instead used the phone.
             | 
             | (That may have been done by using the neighbor's phone, but
             | whatever. We still have neighbors and not all of them are
             | dicks. And these days, we still have cell phone stores for
             | those who can't empty the water from a boot. The days of
             | brick and mortar cell phone sales are not, at this time,
             | numbered.)
        
               | massysett wrote:
               | Yeah, but Baby Bell would dispatch a technician to your
               | house if needed.
        
               | nebula8804 wrote:
               | >it tends to be a lot cheaper to have one building in
               | Denver to host support people than to have many buildings
               | in every city
               | 
               | I'd kill for the building in Denver. Instead I always get
               | some extremely compressed voice connection in the
               | Philippines.
        
           | dehrmann wrote:
           | One time, I needed this. I lost my phone with a physical SIM
           | card and needed a replacement that day. Now I'm trying to
           | remember the eSIM transfer flow to know if this is still an
           | issue.
           | 
           | But also, which MVNO should you go to? Carriers supposedly
           | prioritize their own customers, so it feels a bit like
           | running on spot instances.
        
             | mey wrote:
             | Personally switched from VZW to Google Fi. It's on TMOs
             | network. As you can imagine, when engaging with Google's
             | support was hilarious when there was something I needed,
             | but overall I don't miss Verizon and pay drastically less.
        
               | rootusrootus wrote:
               | For those of us who have crappy coverage with TMO,
               | Verizon themselves offer a much better alternative to
               | their postpaid service, called Visible. It's pretty
               | hilarious how much better of an experience it is, and you
               | are on the same network.
        
               | laurencerowe wrote:
               | Coverage is very specific to your situation. I've had
               | basically no coverage on Verizon in offices in the Bay
               | Area where T-mobile worked fine while colleagues could
               | only get Verizon at home.
        
               | throwaway27448 wrote:
               | I haven't had any issues with tmobile coverage (that
               | wasn't also a problem with verizon) in well over a decade
               | now. Hell it even worked well in the dense hilly jungles
               | of burundi. Verizon customer service was so bad before I
               | switched I swore them off for life....
               | 
               | The single place I noticed verizon gets coverage and
               | tmobile doesn't is three levels underground in a concrete
               | parking garage.
        
               | laurencerowe wrote:
               | Is Google Fi particularly cheap? Their normal prices seem
               | to start at $35/month for 30GB of data which is more than
               | Verizon's Visible plans at $25/month. (The current 50%
               | off offer on Google Fi does seem a good deal though.)
               | 
               | I ended up switching to Mobile-X since I'm on wifi so
               | much I only use a few gigs of data a month. $2/month +
               | $1.90/GB vs Google Fi's flexible plan of $20/month +
               | $10/GB.
        
               | Sohcahtoa82 wrote:
               | > Is Google Fi particularly cheap?
               | 
               | If you travel internationally, they're _really_ cheap
               | relative to everyone else who will charge you absolutely
               | ridiculous roaming fees.
        
               | laurencerowe wrote:
               | I just buy local eSIM's online when I go abroad now.
               | Lycamobile is usually good around Europe if you land in a
               | country with them. Their UK and Portugal subsidiaries are
               | PS5 or EUR4 / month with 30-50GB in country including
               | 12GB roaming in other European countries. Order before
               | you go and get the eSIM QR code by email. But you must be
               | in the appropriate country to activate.
               | 
               | The Google Fi plans with roaming are either $65/month
               | (100GB) or $20/month + $10/GB. I often end up using quite
               | a bit of data abroad.
        
               | verdverm wrote:
               | My Google Fi is $20/m for connectivity and then $0.01/Mb
               | until I hit 6Gb ($80) at which point everything after is
               | no cost. Most of my data is on wifi, so my bill rarely
               | goes above $25
        
               | laurencerowe wrote:
               | I usually end up paying about $5/month, though that is a
               | data only plan as I just use Google Voice for calls and
               | use maybe a couple of gigs of data.
               | 
               | Having moved here from the UK where I was used to cheap
               | mobile plans I just grate at how extortionate they are in
               | the US.
        
             | axus wrote:
             | I was able to transfer eSIM for a lost phone using their
             | website, I think the online carrier had run into that issue
             | before.
        
             | piperswe wrote:
             | US Mobile gets you QCI8 (same priority as Verizon postpaid)
             | when you're on the Verizon network with a 5G device, and
             | they let you pay for QCI8 on AT&T.
        
               | mortenjorck wrote:
               | USM is the only MVNO I've seen that actually advertises
               | QCI tiers. I had to look the term up when I was initially
               | considering them, as I'd never even encountered it
               | before. It was a major factor in finally feeling
               | confident I wouldn't be giving up too much by leaving
               | AT&T.
        
             | eru wrote:
             | > But also, which MVNO should you go to? Carriers
             | supposedly prioritize their own customers, so it feels a
             | bit like running on spot instances.
             | 
             | If you are so paranoid, just get multiple SIMs? Most phones
             | support that these days, especially multiple eSIM. And the
             | plans are really cheap (at least where I live).
        
             | dv_dt wrote:
             | Ive been happy with US mobile - you can actually switch
             | between their VZ backed network or their ATT backed
             | network.
        
             | neild wrote:
             | Mint (T-Mobile MVNO) has been great for me, $20/month/line
             | and my one experience with international travel was good
             | ($20 for 10 days). I used to be on Verizon and the quality
             | of service doesn't seem any worse while the price is
             | dramatically lower.
        
               | SapporoChris wrote:
               | Mint works well until it doesn't. I travel a lot and use
               | voice over ip(VoIP). One day I called and got an
               | automated message that my account needed funds. It
               | didn't, my annual payment was months away.
               | 
               | My call to tech support was the generic worst. He
               | insisted there was trouble with my current cell tower and
               | I should reboot my phone. (ignoring the fact that I was
               | able to get automated message). I explained I was using
               | voice over ip, but the tech support didn't seem to
               | understand that technology. Perhaps it wasn't in the
               | script. I was on the call for about 30 minutes and
               | eventually gave up. Phone started working about eight
               | hours later.
               | 
               | Previous issue was with their roaming in foreign
               | countries, however with VoIP that hasn't been an issue
               | for years. So, a couple problems in about eight years. I
               | rank them as one of the best among the terrible options.
        
             | slumberlust wrote:
             | They're all fungible if you aren't addicted to your phone.
        
             | karlgkk wrote:
             | > Carriers supposedly prioritize their own customers
             | 
             | They explicitly do, even among their own customers and
             | plans. If you Google the carrier name plus QCI, you'll find
             | tables where people have documented, which plans are in
             | which priority group
        
             | craftkiller wrote:
             | eSIM transfers are an absolute nightmare on T-Mobile. I
             | recently did two of them and both times, the transfer
             | started but never finished, so I ended up with no service
             | on either device. That means no ability to call their
             | support line and no ability to receive the confirmation SMS
             | they use to verify you are the correct person. They also
             | immediately permanently nuke your physical SIM card so the
             | only way to go back to sanity is to purchase another $10
             | physical sim card or get one of the physical sim cards that
             | you load eSIMs onto (I did the latter so it won't self-
             | destruct every time I do a transfer).
             | 
             | 1. They only do transfers through their native app, not on
             | their website. To log in to their native app, they will do
             | SMS verification. So I sure hope you are still logged in
             | before they lose your eSIM and leave you with no service at
             | all.
             | 
             | 2. If you are able to get into their native app so you can
             | access their tech support, their AI chatbot will flat-out
             | lie to you and tell you that T-Mobile cannot send you a QR
             | code to download your eSIM (even though T-Mobile's own
             | website states that they can). If you ask politely for a
             | human, it will resist. I've found "connect me to a human
             | you worthless fucking bot" is the secret passcode to get a
             | real human.
             | 
             | 3. If you request they send you a QR code, some of their
             | support staff will ignore that request and still try to
             | initiate the transfer through their app, so clearly
             | requesting the QR code is not a common procedure.
             | 
             | 4. When you request a QR code, even though you provide the
             | EID, they will ask for an IMEI number. They then generate
             | the QR code for whatever EID they have associated with your
             | IMEI number in their database, completely ignoring the EID
             | number you sent them. They did this to me _three_ times.
             | The only way I managed to break the cycle was I sent them
             | an IMEI number for a phone that was never on their network
             | so they'd finally listen to me when I told them my EID
             | number.
             | 
             | I'm never buying a phone without a physical sim card slot
             | again. There's nothing wrong with the eSIM technology but
             | the carriers have decided to make it as miserable as
             | possible. The hardest part about transferring a physical
             | SIM is finding a paperclip.
        
           | nitwit005 wrote:
           | Those stores generally turn a profit eventually. A smaller
           | company is just going to struggle to afford building out the
           | stores and running ads to get people in the door.
        
             | tencentshill wrote:
             | Those startups eventually need legions of fools with which
             | to easily part their money.
        
           | teeray wrote:
           | It's always amazing going to these stores and seeing the
           | support they provide for frequent "how do I computer?"
           | questions. To me, this is like going to the water department
           | because you need a new faucet on the kitchen sink. We make no
           | such distinctions about who fixes what for purveyors of
           | Internet services though.
        
         | anonymars wrote:
         | Similarly when layoffs hit and morale gets low, guess what
         | caliber of employee is going to jump ship and which is going to
         | stay?
        
           | gopher_space wrote:
           | Everyone knows morale is a dump stat... if you don't track
           | consequences.
        
             | marcosdumay wrote:
             | Well, you can't measure it, so it can't matter.
        
         | gib444 wrote:
         | For a few years now, I've found every support department has
         | been trained to treat every single person as if they were a
         | dumb 5 year old.
         | 
         | The condescending replies from the outset, the 'clear your
         | cookies' first line response to every bug report, the ignoring
         | everything you say because you /must/ be wrong, the weird need
         | to explain that they understand your feelings and frustrations
         | (before even expressing any frustration)...
         | 
         | Drives me insane. There is no breaking through it. You will
         | continue to get LLM replies tweaked for 5 year olds.
        
           | LeifCarrotson wrote:
           | There is no breaking through it because those LLM replies are
           | not tweaked for 5 year olds due to managerial decree, they're
           | tweaked for the average callers to those support departments
           | due to cold hard reality.
           | 
           | If 99 out of 100 callers are wrong, are frustrated, and don't
           | know how to clear their cookies, and then you call in,
           | they'll treat you like those 99. Even if you're correct, just
           | cheerfully trying to be helpful, and even if you did clear
           | cookies literally identified the obvious typo in their
           | Javascript that makes it work again or whatever, you're an
           | outlier.
           | 
           | Maybe you can get that person to readjust their expectations
           | for you, maybe you can't, and maybe their management can
           | embark on a massive education and training effort to teach
           | their customer support agents to assume that each new caller
           | is an intelligent expert who's aware of and has already tried
           | the obvious things, but tomorrow they will regress to the
           | mean.
        
             | johnisgood wrote:
             | Yeah, this honestly scares me.
        
             | dwedge wrote:
             | Is this not begging the question that 99 out of 100 were
             | wrong? This totally depends if the aim is the solve
             | problems or to reduce support costs - which are not
             | necessarily the same thing.
             | 
             | If only 1% of tickets ever got past level 1 then okay but I
             | doubt this is the case in most places. And if you already
             | tried to fix your issue online there is nothing more
             | frustrating than being told to do so repeatedly while on
             | hold.
             | 
             | I have an issue today where a service accidentally
             | cancelled my package but still charged me. I asked for it
             | to be reinstated or refunded, and three times I got the
             | same identical automated output pretending to be a person,
             | the fourth attempt is simply a credit card charge back and
             | a lost customer
        
               | BobaFloutist wrote:
               | Maybe the online FAQ/support flow should give you a one-
               | time skip-the-line code that you append to the phone
               | number or something.
        
               | nitwit005 wrote:
               | While I haven't heard of that idea being implemented, I
               | have heard of the support page you're looking at
               | determine who you got routed to if you started a support
               | chat.
        
               | lol768 wrote:
               | One of the first things I did when I was involved in the
               | set-up of online support ticket system for a GB rail
               | retailer was https://xkcd.com/806/ compliance. If the
               | support request body contains the phrase "Shibboleet" the
               | ticket will be assigned to an engineer.
               | 
               | Equally it's not hard to teach front-line when to
               | escalate, and ensure L2 and beyond are approachable. Even
               | better if L2/L3 can keep half an eye on tickets that come
               | in for anything that looks particularly interesting.
        
               | gib444 wrote:
               | Hah, I've seen your posts on RailForums!
               | 
               | > One of the first things I did when I was involved in
               | the set-up of online support ticket system for a GB rail
               | retailer was https://xkcd.com/806/ compliance. If the
               | support request body contains the phrase "Shibboleet" the
               | ticket will be assigned to an engineer.
               | 
               | I get the feeling you wouldn't joke about this. I can't
               | believe how amazing this is LOL. I /think/ I know which
               | retailer...good to know!
               | 
               | > Equally it's not hard to teach front-line when to
               | escalate, and ensure L2 and beyond are approachable. Even
               | better if L2/L3 can keep half an eye on tickets that come
               | in for anything that looks particularly interesting.
               | 
               | Right!? I did L2/L3 support many moons ago and it was
               | very much my job to keep an eye on PFYs to ensure they
               | weren't dismissing interesting tickets.
        
             | gib444 wrote:
             | Nah, that doesn't wash. I can understand a default initial
             | response for 99% of callers (a verbal FAQ as it were), but
             | I do not accept the lack of breaking through. That is
             | because managerial decree has mandated cost-cutting and
             | chosen not to provide any real customer support.
             | 
             | After I exhaust the L1 flowchart I expect some real
             | support. I've done my bit to prove it, I expect them to
             | reply in kind.
             | 
             | The reality is that companies have gone on aggressive cost
             | cutting to maximise profits, and customer support is
             | absolutely included in that.
             | 
             | What next? Shrinkflation is because 99% of people expect
             | smaller portions?
             | 
             | They know getting to L2/L3 support increases costs. Eg
             | applying a refund when legally required, delivering what
             | was contractually agreed etc.
             | 
             | Also, the more we accept people are 'dumb' and dumb down
             | our interactions with them, the dumber everyone will get.
             | Do teachers not need to believe in the capacity of
             | children, lest education totally go to hell?
        
             | progval wrote:
             | > don't know how to clear their cookies
             | 
             | Why do users even need to manually clear their cookies?
        
               | gib444 wrote:
               | It fixes like 1% of problems but sounds plausible to
               | probably 95% of the population. Hence why it's peddled so
               | often.
        
           | bityard wrote:
           | Have you tried saying "shibboleet"?
        
             | soopypoos wrote:
             | I'd rather die.
        
           | ceejayoz wrote:
           | > I've found every support department has been trained to
           | treat every single person as if they were a dumb 5 year old.
           | 
           | That's quite reasonable on their part.
           | 
           | I do wish I could take a quiz to bypass it, though.
        
           | weaksauce wrote:
           | I was a programmer at a small company that had their
           | programmers field tech support calls and there is a good
           | reason they do this... most of the people calling in are dumb
           | as rocks when it comes to whatever they needed help with...
           | some called while driving for help that required you to be in
           | front of a computer.
        
           | LtWorf wrote:
           | People suicided because of that, and the UK post office knew
           | fully well it was their own fault.
           | 
           | https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/British_Post_Office_scandal
        
           | Spooky23 wrote:
           | I ran an enterprise help desk for a few years. I wasnt in the
           | day to day, but would listen to calls sometimes. The reality
           | is, dumb 5 year olds are often smarter.
           | 
           | We had a large (250k) workforce with a pretty wide variance
           | in roles. We had probably about 100 people in the call
           | center, although some of them did more interesting stuff too.
           | It was a very good support organization with multichannel
           | contact capabilities and really good, well paid staff.
           | 
           | Basically there was a barbell distribution with the lowest
           | ranked people and highest ranked employees being the worst.
           | (Think attorneys and other special IC and middle managers.
           | Executives had dedicated support and didn't use this method.)
           | The most expensive 20% of users make 80% of the calls. The
           | high ranking ones were dumber to deal with and took more
           | time, the low ranking ones called too often for dumb reasons
           | but resolved quickly.
           | 
           | I cannot imagine the hell on earth the general public could
           | be.
        
           | wccrawford wrote:
           | I used to work tech support. Those lines are there _because
           | they work_. In only 9 months, I had a few different people
           | tell me they were pc repair techs and knew what they were
           | doing, and I didn 't need to do the basics.
           | 
           | I did them anyhow because the company said so, and I found
           | that _more often than not_ , it fixed the problem.
           | 
           | If I had sent that to second-level support without making
           | sure of it, I'd have been written up.
           | 
           | So yes, they're trained to treat callers like they don't know
           | what they're doing, because they often don't. Even if they
           | claim to.
           | 
           | The best thing you can do is just go along with it quickly
           | and get it over with, even if you've already done it. There's
           | no way around it.
        
             | gib444 wrote:
             | > I used to work tech support
             | 
             | Me too. Long time ago though. I get it.
             | 
             | But my problem and main point is that now L2/L3 doesn't
             | seem to exist, or is way way harder to access.
             | 
             | When I did L1, I was trained to permit escalation. Now, it
             | seems people are trained to gaslight people that actually
             | nothing is broken and it's all their head.
        
           | wat10000 wrote:
           | At most places, 95% of the customers are dumb as rocks. And
           | 95% of the support staff is also dumb as rocks. So they're
           | conditioned to assume everyone calling in is an idiot, and
           | it's very likely that whoever you're talking to is not
           | equipped to understand what you're saying to try to convince
           | them that you're not.
           | 
           | My favorite instance of this was with an ISP that rhymes with
           | Bombast where it was very clear that the modem wasn't getting
           | a signal. The lights indicated it, and I was also able to
           | connect to the modem's internal monitoring and see that it
           | wasn't seeing anything on the line. The support agent kept
           | asking me to reboot my computer.
        
         | throwaway27448 wrote:
         | To be fair, HP lost their competent customers a long time ago.
        
           | aworks wrote:
           | FWIW, I'm typing this on my sub-$500 HP laptop and it's fine.
           | I would only call for support as a last resort, and I haven't
           | needed to do that.
        
         | zombot wrote:
         | Which is still not enough punishment for a decision like this.
         | But without adequate consumer protection laws abuse like this
         | is to be expected.
        
         | ticulatedspline wrote:
         | While I tend to lean towards libertarian the reality is that
         | "someone will fill the market gap and customers will leave" is
         | largely a myth. Even without lock in or other reasons the
         | market tends to be rather shallow with only a few choices.
         | Maybe HP is the instigator but it largely signals to their
         | competitors that "hey you can be abusive too". This creates a
         | casual follow-the-leader collusion then everywhere sucks and
         | there's nowhere to go anyway so why leave.
        
       | dsr_ wrote:
       | "Best available laptop support" apparently means 18/30 or 12/20.
       | 
       | Pretty sure I would consider those both failing grades.
        
       | red_admiral wrote:
       | If you're the customer support hotline, that's shitty practice.
       | 
       | On the other hand, if you're setting up an asshole filter
       | (https://mrsteinberg.com/the-asshole-filter/), deliberately
       | waiting a while before replying can be part of "chaotic good"
       | tactics. You use my private email for something that has an
       | official org process that we MUST use, per policy? It'll take me
       | several days to reply, and then I'll ask you to use the official
       | process anyway.
       | 
       | If you're setting up an asshole filter for your customers on the
       | official support hotline, we used to call that "AITA?"
        
         | everdrive wrote:
         | My routine is that I curse at the voice bot and treat it really
         | poorly and berate it, but then I'm really calm, polite, and
         | professional with the real person I end up talking to. In the
         | vast majority of cases, yelling a person is both rude in a
         | strict moral sense, but also usually counterproductive even
         | when viewed through a totally selfish lens.
        
       | iinnPP wrote:
       | I worked HP CS in Highschool and during my time there I created a
       | HTML/JS replacement for a unbearably slow tree system that made a
       | 10+ second network call every single question(often 20+ questions
       | and a tree copy was required for notes). Mine was instant.
       | 
       | They fired me for it because my AHT flagged me and it made
       | someone look bad.
       | 
       | At that point (this is at Windows Vista launch) the minimum hold
       | was 25 minutes all day.
        
         | fifilura wrote:
         | > made someone look bad
         | 
         | That, or that it DoS-ed the database.
        
           | iinnPP wrote:
           | It was offline.
        
           | MBCook wrote:
           | And making each click trigger a 20 second DB query doesn't?
           | 
           | How much you want to bet that's _why_ it was 20 seconds?
        
             | fifilura wrote:
             | If you prefetch all those options in the background, I bet
             | the DB would be unhappy.
        
         | oofbey wrote:
         | AHT?
        
           | iinnPP wrote:
           | Average Handle Time
        
           | LordGrey wrote:
           | Not OP, but it is probably either "Average Hold Time" or
           | "Average Handle Time". I supposed the usage here indicated
           | some call center metric that management was expecting in a
           | certain range but the new tool skewed it in a different
           | direction.
        
           | soopypoos wrote:
           | Assistant Head Teacher
        
         | creddit wrote:
         | If yours was instant, why would your AHT decline? Shouldn't you
         | be way faster? On many questions you would have saved over
         | 3mins on network calls alone.
        
           | imzadi wrote:
           | I believe they are saying their AHT went down (calls take
           | less time) which made other people with longer handle times
           | look bad.
        
             | iinnPP wrote:
             | The AHT value indeed went down 3 minutes below the average,
             | which is generally a good thing so long as you are doing
             | everything well still. All outliers get checked and mine
             | was the lowest. I was honest about the tool, including that
             | it was offline. Their supposed policy was no personal tools
             | and as it was during "probation" (first 90 days in
             | Ontario), they could fire without cause, and did,
             | immediately.
        
               | ok_dad wrote:
               | A good business would have promoted you to the dev team
               | so they could reduce that metric for everyone.
        
         | junon wrote:
         | Quasi-related but I did the same thing at RadioShack for
         | inventory. It was a long process of scanning each product,
         | looking at the scanner and manually verifying the price on the
         | tag.
         | 
         | The tags had a barcode on the back with the SKU and the price
         | that had been printed, but naturally the scanner didn't support
         | that format.
         | 
         | So I brought in my own scanner, scanned all of those into a
         | spreadsheet, then ran a script that checked the same inventory
         | panel that had the updated prices, and printed out a new sheet
         | with just the barcodes that differed to run "inventory"
         | against. Saved us hours per day.
         | 
         | Corporate got pissed (understandably) and shut it down real
         | quick.
        
           | nubg wrote:
           | > understandably
           | 
           | why?
        
             | junon wrote:
             | I was running scripts on their PoS (EDIT: point of sale)
             | terminals to hit an internal service. If I were the
             | sysadmin at corporate, people like me would make me nervous
             | too (even though I wasn't doing anything nefarious).
        
         | BobaFloutist wrote:
         | >my AHT flagged me
         | 
         | Is that "American Hairless Terrier" or "Aldershot Railway
         | Station"?
        
           | mjuarez wrote:
           | Average Hold Time
        
             | Zircom wrote:
             | Average Handle Time actually
        
           | btreesOfSpring wrote:
           | Acronym use here to single being part of an in-group. It is
           | one of the most annoying shift in tech language over the past
           | decade. I partly blame it on all the certification testing
           | that has popped up over that time frame.
           | 
           | It isn't like there hasn't always been tech acronyms but they
           | are so causally communicated these days without regard for
           | audience.
        
             | batch12 wrote:
             | This one is a call center metric. Similar to after call
             | work or first call resolution. This one, I believe, is
             | average handle time.
        
             | bobbob1921 wrote:
             | This comment is so spot on, it's also big in military
             | circles, especially over past 15 years. It can even be said
             | that frequent (over) use of acronyms is based in insecurity
        
             | m463 wrote:
             | Musk's Acronyms Seriously Suck memo:
             | 
             | https://gist.github.com/klaaspieter/12cd68f54bb71a3940eae5c
             | d...
        
             | wat10000 wrote:
             | That highly prestigious in-group of call-center workers....
             | 
             | It's just jargon. Sometimes people forget that their jargon
             | isn't universal.
        
             | midtake wrote:
             | If you're not part of their industry, just look up the
             | acronyms instead of getting mad. "Audience" is laughable,
             | they are not posting solely for your entertainment.
             | 
             | And my guess is "average hold time." If you use your brain,
             | you can figure most of them out, unless they are
             | adversarially confusing acronyms.
        
         | agumonkey wrote:
         | I've seen this in many groups. Every time I laugh thinking
         | about private enterprise efficacy. Then I shed a tear.
         | Distribution problem.
        
       | lambdaone wrote:
       | What a fantastic company HP used to be, back in the day. They led
       | the way in scientific equipment and calculators, and even desktop
       | computers for a brief moment.
       | 
       | They even made PostScript laser printers that were built like
       | tanks and were a by-word for reliability.
       | 
       | Now they are just famous for being the printer brand everyone
       | hates, and this is just scraping the bottom out of an already
       | empty barrel.
        
         | drewg123 wrote:
         | I'll always despise them (and their Itanium) for killing the
         | DEC Alpha CPU off after they acquired it along with Compaq.
        
         | tonyedgecombe wrote:
         | They were dragged screaming and kicking into offering
         | PostScript. Their page description language was PCL, an
         | inferior (although sometimes faster) offering.
        
         | ryukoposting wrote:
         | It is staggering how much HP has fallen from grace. I don't
         | think a lot of people my age even know.
         | 
         | If you're a late millennial/early zoomer, you probably know IBM
         | had a sort of "golden age" from the 1960s through the 1980s.
         | You also know AT&T was a juggernaut (even if you can't imagine
         | the scale of "Ma Bell").
         | 
         | HP though? Nobody my age knows how great HP was in the '90s
         | unless they're either a retro computing nerd, or an EE who
         | knows the Agilent/Keysight lore.
         | 
         | The timeline makes it all the more surprising. HP's glory days
         | were the 1990s! A decade _after_ AT &T and IBM were clearly
         | declining! Somehow the recency doesn't play in HP's favor.
         | 
         | They torched their reputation so quickly and so thoroughly that
         | I can't think of any comparisons. As far as I know, the only
         | companies who did it faster were fraudsters, the Enrons and
         | FTXes of the world.
        
           | cogman10 wrote:
           | That was basically entirely on Carly Fiorina, Mark Hurd and
           | the board of directors. It's pretty similar to what happened
           | to Boeing.
           | 
           | HP had engineers at the helm right up until Fiorina. She came
           | in and destroyed a lot of what made it great to work at HP
           | while not really doing a great job of managing the company.
           | 
           | Then Hurd came in and he just gutted the company to the
           | delight of the shareholders. I came in right as Hurd went out
           | as an intern. The place was in shambles when I got there.
           | He'd fired and outsourced everything he could. The IT there
           | was a complete joke. It was actually insane that HP decided
           | to outsource IT operations.
        
             | ryukoposting wrote:
             | Ooooooh, there must be a story there. I think I get the
             | same high from corporate horror stories that my wife gets
             | from Secret Lives of Mormon Wives.
             | 
             | I yearn for the day that I'm in a stable enough career
             | position to write about some of the shitshows I've seen.
        
               | cogman10 wrote:
               | Not much of a story. Like I said, I was an intern so I
               | mostly heard this stuff from my coworkers (it's been a
               | while too).
               | 
               | My boss was a manager in IT and they were fortunate
               | enough to get a heads up before the shitshow hit. They
               | moved departments right before everyone in IT got laid
               | off.
               | 
               | I had requests to IT that I had put in at the beginning
               | of my internship which were just getting handled by the
               | end of my internship.
               | 
               | Real basic stuff like getting my badge was a nightmare. I
               | had to make a 3 hour drive to another building just to
               | get my badge. The appointment to do that took 3 months,
               | which meant my coworkers had to let me into the office
               | and past security every day.
               | 
               | General office supply and admin was really bad. I was
               | seated in a broken chair for my entire internship.
               | Employees were buying their own office furniture like
               | chairs because there basically was nobody at the helm
               | doing basic recs like that.
               | 
               | The IT firm we contracted out to was obviously one that
               | mostly serviced the likes of banks or chain restaurants.
               | The stuff they technically "owned" they were completely
               | detached from. The only stuff they knew how to do was
               | active directory management stuff. But like I said, they
               | were extremely slow and backed up. Understandable because
               | HP is huge company to contract out to.
               | 
               | Leadership was a total mess. I had like 3 different
               | bosses I technically reported to and it was never super
               | clear to me in the org chart exactly how I was supposed
               | to be positioned in the company.
        
         | dreamcompiler wrote:
         | Friend worked at HP in the old days before (as he put it) the
         | company got "Carly'd."
        
         | BobaFloutist wrote:
         | >Now they are just famous for being the printer brand everyone
         | hates
         | 
         | They're not bad for $300-500 upgradeable Costco/Best Buy
         | laptops, especially since Dell has deteriorated and Chromebooks
         | exited their honeymoon period at escape velocity.
        
         | segmondy wrote:
         | Well, it's not the same HP. If there was ever a case that Ship
         | of Theseus is not the same it's with companies. It just takes
         | but a few replacement to get an entirely different company,
         | mostly same people, same name, same business, completely
         | different. Yet alone when the company has turned over everyone
         | over decades, including customers. This is not the HP we knew.
        
         | agumonkey wrote:
         | Isn't this an unavoidable company pattern? Early on you go all
         | in to prove your mastery. Then your reverse course to ramp
         | benefits or something like that.
        
       | adolph wrote:
       | Question is, will the 15-minute wait time be replaced by a rubber
       | duck?
       | 
       | https://rubberduckdebugging.com/
        
       | itopaloglu83 wrote:
       | I think HP continues to see the real problem as getting caught,
       | just like a liar isn't someone who lies, but lies and also gets
       | caught.
        
       | fhn wrote:
       | I'm sure HP is bad but look at Nvidia's support forums. Most
       | questions go unresolved but the close it after 14 days of
       | inactivity and mark it resolved.
        
       | jgbuddy wrote:
       | This is unfortunately how companies die
        
       | jmull wrote:
       | "improve customer tech support"
       | 
       | That's corporate-speak. They say improve, but it's perfectly well
       | understood internally to mean drive costs down.
       | 
       | There's no problem with doing that at the expense of the customer
       | as long as you can get away with it. (Seems like here they were
       | going for a boiling-the-frog approach but moved too quickly.)
        
       | hedgehog wrote:
       | After years of good experiences I'm pausing buying any more HP
       | hardware. My recent Z series desktop was mis-assembled and
       | customer service getting it resolved was atrocious, so incredibly
       | bad it dissuaded me from even trying a replacement. I don't know
       | what happened over there.
        
       | tristor wrote:
       | My experience with customer support with every major company has
       | always been a miserable one. The fundamental problem from my
       | perspective is that if I've decided to call support that means
       | I've already exhausted any other alternatives, and most likely my
       | issue is one that explicitly requires human intervention because
       | I've found myself wedged into a crack in the self-serve systems.
       | I'm not particularly bothered by waiting 15 minutes, but what
       | pisses me off the most is that when I finally do get a person
       | they're also not empowered to do anything except read to me from
       | a script that is word-for-word identical to the documentation on
       | the website which was written by Legal instead of someone
       | technically competent.
       | 
       | What I really want is something like https://xkcd.com/806/ to be
       | a real thing. In a fit of irony, the one time I got somewhere
       | useful was when I called Comcast/Xfinity. I was able to isolate a
       | problem with my connection to an aggregation router in their
       | network that was not very far away from me, and I happened to
       | know was in the middle of a major public construction zone. I
       | actually managed to get someone on the line finally who could
       | direct information to their network engineering team and it was
       | discovered that there was a partial fiber cut caused by the
       | construction and it was repaired a few hours later. It's hard for
       | me say anything positive about Comcast, but I was pleasantly
       | surprised that day that I was able to get information to someone
       | who could do something with it, even though it was not exactly
       | the smoothest process.
       | 
       | Most companies you just run into a competence wall. Generally
       | speaking, I am not calling because I don't know what to do or
       | don't understand something (unless its a lack of understanding in
       | the sense that the company's process is utterly stupid and
       | therefore incomprehensible). I'm calling because I fully
       | understand what needs to happen, I've thoroughly investigated my
       | issue and identified an appropriate outcome, and I have a good
       | understanding of the systems involved. I simply lack the
       | necessary access to make it happen and resolve my issue, so the
       | customer support line is simply a gatekeeper. In the infinite
       | cost-cutting wisdom of miserable bean counters everywhere,
       | customer support has been so disempowered in most cases that they
       | are then gatekept from actually doing anything also, and are
       | often bottom-dollar workers in cheaper third-world countries, so
       | also lack the competence, context, and care to actually effect
       | any positive outcome even if they have the access.
       | 
       | Realistically, customer support systems are not customer support
       | systems, they are legal compliance systems that are designed to
       | find the cheapest and most defensible way to tell your customers
       | to fuck off after you already have their money.
        
         | adrian_b wrote:
         | Unfortunately, my experience with customer support at various
         | companies matches exactly your description.
         | 
         | Having heard many other similar stories, I assume that this is
         | really how nowadays typical customer support is, so anything
         | else, if such a thing exists, is a rare exception.
        
         | FiatLuxDave wrote:
         | I used to be the top-level support escalation at a company, and
         | I made sure to brief all the tier-1 support personnel to
         | escalate directly to me any call using "shibboleet" Sadly no
         | one ever used it.
         | 
         | The company had "Nuclear" in the name, and our average customer
         | had at least a masters in physics, so maybe not the typical
         | support situation. But in at least one case, it has been a real
         | thing. It doesn't work at AT&T and Spectrum, I've tried.
        
       | xg15 wrote:
       | > _Some HP workers were reportedly unhappy with the mandatory
       | hold times, with an anonymous "insider" in HP's European
       | operations reportedly telling The Register, per its Thursday
       | report: "Many within HP are pretty unhappy [about] the measures
       | being taken and the fact those making decisions don't have to
       | deal with the customers who their decisions impact."_
       | 
       | Sounds to me like some customers who did get through after the 15
       | minutes then complained about the wait times to workers, which
       | means the workers had to lie about the cause.
        
         | imzadi wrote:
         | As someone who has worked in a call center, it's not just that
         | they complain, but they complain a lot and become much more
         | difficult to work with. A customer who has been on hold for a
         | long time can take twice as long to resolve because they spend
         | so much time complaining and refusing to do what you ask them
         | to do.
        
           | temporallobe wrote:
           | Yeah it's almost like purposely frustrating people has
           | negative consequences, which HP completely overlooked.
        
             | Macha wrote:
             | HP didn't care, that was a problem for the low level
             | support staff and the customers, not whatever exec was
             | hoping to show reduced call volumes -> reduced staffing
             | levels -> savings.
        
           | duskdozer wrote:
           | Wow, you mean to say intentionally pissing off people who are
           | already probably pissed off makes them more difficult to work
           | with? That doesn't sound right.
        
         | darth_avocado wrote:
         | The fact that I'm calling an HP support line automatically
         | means I'm annoyed. Keeping me waiting for 15 mins will only
         | leave me inflamed. I have better emotional regulation but
         | dealing with customer service sometimes pushes me to the "being
         | assertive but polite" phase, which a lot of people will just
         | skip. And for the workers, there's only so much abuse you can
         | take in a day.
        
       | kotaKat wrote:
       | (2025)
       | 
       | I'm reminded of the Beavis and Butthead episode _Tech Support_.
       | Why the hell would those two dolts be allowed anywhere near a
       | headset they picked up?
       | 
       | "See, Hamid: our goal is to help the customers - of course - but
       | if we're on the phone too long, _we don 't make any money_. We go
       | out of business - _and then what will the customers do?_ "
        
       | lich_king wrote:
       | I don't even think if singling out Dell is useful. Most US
       | companies have long decided that providing good customer support
       | is a drag on revenue and that you can get away with not providing
       | it if the product is problem-free for 99% of your users.
       | 
       | Have you tried calling UPS with an atypical problem? Bank of
       | America? United? It's all the same, and the thing is, you don't
       | find out until you actually have a problem with the service you
       | purchased.
       | 
       | There are some exceptions to this rule, for example many
       | brokerages have real customer support. Amazon stands out too -
       | they're not prepared to handle anything unusual, but their model
       | is to refund you almost no matter what.
       | 
       | But by and large, it's absolutely awful in the US and I'm often
       | positively surprised when I need to interact with customer
       | support in other countries, where you actually can reach a
       | courier about your delivery, etc.
        
         | drstewart wrote:
         | Wow, other countries sound like utopia! Can you tell me how to
         | reach RyanAir by phone and how long it will take? How about
         | Evri? China Southern?
        
           | aboardRat4 wrote:
           | China Southern is okay if you speak Chinese.
        
         | tristor wrote:
         | > United?
         | 
         | FWIW, Airlines are actually great /if/ you're a frequent flyer.
         | I get great service from United on the phone and did so
         | previously from Delta, but in both cases I was a frequent
         | traveler and so they automatically route your call into a
         | better queue with better trained staff.
        
       | ryukoposting wrote:
       | My first thought was "wow, those assholes."
       | 
       | But my second thought was... how did they make their PBX do that?
       | Is this actually a feature that PBX vendors ship?
        
         | f_devd wrote:
         | Wouldn't be surprised if they have their own internal PBX
         | system with a SIP trunk
        
           | ryukoposting wrote:
           | Sigh. VoIP makes everything less interesting.
        
         | justin66 wrote:
         | I mean, any system has the ability to play a message before
         | putting the call into a queue. Make the message fifteen minutes
         | of muzak...
        
         | tiagod wrote:
         | Many call centers have these privacy messages that play before
         | you're actually put on hold. Just use the same feature with a
         | 15min of waiting music.
        
           | ryukoposting wrote:
           | Ah, so that the music changes and/or clips when you jump into
           | the call queue. That way, you _know_ you just got mishandled
           | for 15 minutes. Diabolical.
        
       | vjvjvjvjghv wrote:
       | American companies seem to increasingly hate their own customers.
       | Add random fees, make products worse and provide terrible
       | support. In a functioning market small competitors would take
       | away the business of the big players but with the lack of
       | monopoly enforcement they just buy their competition. Not sure
       | where this is leading but it's not a good trend.
        
         | laughing_man wrote:
         | HP has plenty of competition. What they're doing is suicidal.
        
           | kykat wrote:
           | I honestly don't know who is still buying HP products,
           | haven't seen one around me in years, probably just clueless
           | people walking into a store and thinking "I've heard this
           | name before"
        
             | vjvjvjvjghv wrote:
             | My employer buys HP products
        
       | josefritzishere wrote:
       | Wait 'till you hear about their printers.
        
       | canucker2016 wrote:
       | Do HP and Boeing recruit from the same candidate pools/train
       | using the same employee manuals???
       | 
       | I was going to say that the Hewlett and Packard families should
       | ask that the company stop using their family names, but a quick
       | glance at the company website and I only see "HP" used.
        
         | bitwize wrote:
         | Hewlett-Packard split into two companies some years back: HP
         | Inc. which handles the consumer PC and printer business; and
         | Hewlett Packard Enterprise which handles all their server and
         | enterprise stuff, and consulting.
        
       | Steve16384 wrote:
       | I would imagine that most people who call are doing so because
       | the "online help" can't help them. People want their problem
       | fixed as quickly as possible, no-one wants to call a call centre.
        
         | delecti wrote:
         | I would actually expect support calls to be more bimodal
         | between customers who use them as a last resort or first
         | resort. If I'm calling support for something then I have
         | probably already tried everything within my power. But there
         | are absolutely people who will call as the first step, for a
         | variety of reasons (maybe they're too technologically
         | illiterate to even approach the problem, or maybe they feel
         | like being a customer entitles them to technical support, which
         | isn't totally unjustified).
        
         | Sohcahtoa82 wrote:
         | > I would imagine that most people who call are doing so
         | because the "online help" can't help them.
         | 
         | Based on the anecdata I have, this is very false.
         | 
         | My brother used to work tech support for X-Box Live. He said
         | 80% of his calls were for password resets, something anybody
         | could self-service in less time than it takes to find the
         | customer support phone number.
         | 
         | Sure, there were cases where they no longer had access to the
         | original e-mail address on the account, or cases where he was
         | sure someone was trying to social engineer their way into
         | someone else's account by claiming a forgotten password, but
         | generally, he'd just trigger the password reset e-mail and the
         | customer was able to reset their password.
         | 
         | At one point, he tried going off-script to tell people to
         | select the "Forgot Password" option and walk them through the
         | self-service, but he got in trouble for it.
        
       | g947o wrote:
       | Marginally related:
       | 
       | I have been an Android user for almost 15 years. A recent
       | incident makes me seriously think about whether I should get an
       | iPhone (other than all the privacy/sideloading/security
       | discussions)
       | 
       | I have a Samsung phone with a "protection plan" which takes care
       | of certain repairs. I did crack the phone screen once, so I took
       | it to a ubrealifix store to get the screen replaced. I was told
       | that I either need to wait till the next day, or bring it early
       | in the day so that it can be done by the end of the same day.
       | 
       | That store somehow is closed for half of the year for no reason.
       | The next closest store is about 20 minutes of drive away, with
       | the same thing -- arrive early or wait overnight.
       | 
       | Meanwhile, these repairs are straightforward repairs at genius
       | bar that can be done within about an hour, any time of the year.
       | 
       | I had similar experience with laptop repairs. Apple and Intel
       | (NUC lines) were top tier, and I was able to get back my device
       | quickly. Not so for other manufacturers.
       | 
       | Apple devices come with a premium price, but as my life gets more
       | complex, I realize that my time is worth more than the money I
       | save on the hardware.
        
         | ectospheno wrote:
         | Indeed. The older I get the more I optimize for my time spent
         | over almost all other factors. I want to enjoy life more.
        
           | doubled112 wrote:
           | The older I get, the more money I have available to optimize
           | for time spent.
           | 
           | A man I worked with told me that eventually his entire
           | toolbox was a VISA. He could fix just about anything, he just
           | couldn't be bothered anymore unless it seemed like fun.
           | 
           | I didn't get it then, in my early 20s. In my mid 30s, with a
           | couple of kids and a million other things to get done, shut
           | up and take my money.
           | 
           | Android phones to tinker with became an iPhone that just
           | works for years. 15 year old VWs turned into 3 year old
           | Toyotas. Probably other choices I've made without realizing
           | it too.
        
       | closeparen wrote:
       | In high school I worked at a VAR that had partnerships with HP,
       | among others (Cisco, Microsoft, etc). Our partnership gave us
       | access to a special support line where a fluent English speaker
       | picked up quickly, talked to you like you had seen a computer
       | before, didn't enforce a script, and issued a return
       | authorization with minimal hassle.
       | 
       | At that time, only Amazon came close on the consumer side.
        
         | halapro wrote:
         | That gets expensive fast. Most phone support tech is composed
         | of average gents who are given a 60 minutes introduction to the
         | system and wished good luck. So cheap, so many unemployed
         | people to choose from.
        
         | mmooss wrote:
         | I've seen that option with other major vendors too. It's always
         | worth the extra cost for a business - incidents' internal time
         | to resolution, labor costs, and downtime (which impact user
         | productivity) can drop dramatically.
         | 
         | It also reduces frustration and improves morale for the support
         | staff, who, reasonably, want to deal with professionals.
        
       | Havoc wrote:
       | Mandatory wait times is an insane concept anyway
        
       | caderosche wrote:
       | In the long run, your customer's best interest aligns with your
       | own best interest. Unless customer support costs were going to
       | bankrupt HP, I think causing customers pain can only harm them.
        
       | kevinpet wrote:
       | I'm mostly a libertarian, but claiming "we are experiencing
       | higher than normal call volumes" when you aren't should put you
       | in jail for fraud.
        
       | xvxvx wrote:
       | Sound terrible but they've probably tried everything imaginable
       | to reduce their call volume and weed out the lazy folk who could
       | just read their website. Call centers are expensive.
        
       | daft_pink wrote:
       | Another mandatory wait time that's annoying, Target. If you do
       | driveup and you don't tell them you're coming, they literally
       | have an software based wait time where you have to stare at the
       | phone and wait for literally no reason.
       | 
       | The software could just add you to a queue and it could wait
       | longer, but instead they make you watch the software do a
       | countdown before you can ask for your order.
        
       | kylehotchkiss wrote:
       | It's OK their customers can all just upgrade to MacBook neos
        
       | syntaxing wrote:
       | Some CIO thought it would be great to get rid of our local in
       | office IT team and replaced them with a multi million contract
       | with HP to use their "tier 1" support. Their service was absolute
       | garbage. But the CIO got a fat bonus check for the "cost savings"
        
       | chrismorgan wrote:
       | > _This involves inserting a message of high call volumes, to
       | expect a delay in connecting to an agent and offering digital
       | self-solve solutions as an alternative._
       | 
       | Won't be true for everyone, but if _I'm_ ringing, it's because
       | the digital self-solve solution _didn't work_. Which happens
       | ridiculously often.
       | 
       | Right now, I'm struggling with working out how to return a laptop
       | keyboard1 on Amazon (India). They _say_ you can return it, but
       | when you try, it only offers you a "chat now" button2, and the
       | bot eventually reveals it can only help with troubleshooting, and
       | suggests you try other options, and here's how you can escalate
       | to a human, and... they're both just a link back to the start of
       | the support system, which no longer mentions any phone number or
       | other way of contacting a human.
       | 
       | And this is hardly abnormal. _So many_ self-serve systems are
       | just broken, and it feels to me like it's happening increasingly
       | often.
       | 
       | --***--
       | 
       | 1 For an ASUS GA503QM. Among other issues, Space/f/j activate
       | well past the click, Space doesn't activate _at all_ if pressed
       | at the ends, and it's 2KRO with _horrific_ ghosting--typing "you"
       | will activate F11 most of the time, "he " gets a spurious N, and
       | mashing the keyboard will put the laptop to sleep (which doesn't
       | even make sense) among other key-pressed-state-poisoning things
       | (though that part could be a software issue). This is
       | particularly insulting as the original is NKRO. All up, it's
       | _utterly_ unfit for purpose (the Space key is bad enough that
       | even a hunt-and-pecker would probably notice), and the worst new
       | keyboard I have ever encountered, by a significant margin,
       | barring those dumb roll-up ones twenty years ago (they don't
       | exist any more, right? Right?).
       | 
       | 2 This isn't true on all products: I ordered a battery at the
       | same time, and they'll let me return _that_ without fuss. Which I
       | will probably do, because despite being advertised and labelled
       | as 5675 mAh like the original, it reports a design capacity of
       | 4800 mAh. Straight up counterfeit /fraud. Sigh. So it's <40%
       | better than my five-year-old battery, instead of >60% better.
        
       | vladde wrote:
       | my parking space company has a variant that if you call in, you
       | can choose to be called back at a later point.
       | 
       | what they don't tell you is that they will call you back after
       | 4pm.
       | 
       | you don't keep your place in the queue. the first time around i
       | expected to be called back within an hour, and ended up expecting
       | a call "any minute now" the whole day.
        
       | fechols wrote:
       | What if I told you that customer support is a marketing expense?
        
       | Night_Thastus wrote:
       | I am so frustrated that every company in the world seems to treat
       | user support as a tax that they must must MUST eliminate at all
       | costs.
       | 
       | Microsoft just straight up doesn't have phone service anymore -
       | at least for non-enterprise customers. It's gone. You get an
       | online chatbot, that's it. Have a problem with your license or
       | account? Get fucked. Go away.
       | 
       | Good support _makes_ me want to stick with a company. Do you know
       | why I buy all my audio gear from one company? Because they 're
       | one state over with a _5 year_ warranty, and immediately respond
       | if I 'm having a problem. I considered 'better' options from
       | China, but the last time I did that I got equipment that would me
       | ~$200 to send back for repairs when it broke, so I just shelved
       | it.
       | 
       | But once you get past a certain size, and once you have
       | enterprise customers, supporting everyone else is a waste of
       | time. Why spend X dollars on customer retention with good support
       | when you can spend X/2 dollars advertising to new customers or
       | shoving in ads for other companies that will generate more money
       | instead?
        
       | ACV001 wrote:
       | the title spews evil
        
       | waynesonfire wrote:
       | All the sudden it's a bad idea now that you can have people talk
       | to a chat bot for 15 minutes.
        
       | LogicFailsMe wrote:
       | I have a Ford EV and a local Ford dealer refused to do warranty
       | work on it because I didn't buy it there.
        
       | Footnote7341 wrote:
       | It is technically possible for mandatory 15 minute support call
       | wait times to increase total user happiness by lowering average
       | wait time in the queue.
        
         | midtake wrote:
         | Not if un-happiness compounds over time spent in a hold queue,
         | and instant responses produce asymptotically incalculable
         | happiness.
        
       | corvad wrote:
       | Won't this just cause more issues with customer server agents.
       | Like I would assume more people would be annoyed once they get an
       | agent.
        
       | everyone wrote:
       | Just curious has anyone _ever_ contacted customer support in the
       | past decade and _not_ gotten the message saying their call volume
       | is high atm and thus the wait will be  "longer than average"?
        
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