[HN Gopher] Raising money fucked me up
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       Raising money fucked me up
        
       Author : yakkomajuri
       Score  : 48 points
       Date   : 2026-01-17 18:29 UTC (4 hours ago)
        
 (HTM) web link (blog.yakkomajuri.com)
 (TXT) w3m dump (blog.yakkomajuri.com)
        
       | moralestapia wrote:
       | Imagine betting on someone and xe writes this ...
        
         | teiferer wrote:
         | Then I know they are capable of deep self-reflection. A good
         | thing. Any founder without such thoughts and some point or
         | another is either lying to you or will eventually fail big
         | time.
        
         | globalnode wrote:
         | if i bet on someone and they wrote this id know my money was
         | spent well
        
         | allenrb wrote:
         | Nothing about this struck me as a sign that money wasn't well-
         | invested. From the headline, I was picturing "we raised and
         | then I blew it in Vegas".
         | 
         | Nothing wrong with admitting to uncertainty and insecurity. I
         | mean, there are two types of people -- those who suffer doubt
         | sometimes, and those who don't admit it. Give me the first kind
         | any time.
        
       | jbs789 wrote:
       | Finding the right psychologist/coach/founder to chat this over
       | with will probably do you and the company wonders.
        
         | yakkomajuri wrote:
         | Hey, author here. Totally agree on how helpful these people
         | are. I have a psychologist and also some great mentors. This
         | doesn't make you immune to things like I wrote about but helps
         | you process and get over them when they happen.
         | 
         | As a side note, I'm in a much better mental space now, largely
         | due to facing these things straight on. Things are good, and
         | I'm motivated and sharp!
        
           | jbs789 wrote:
           | Awesome to hear. Best of luck!
        
       | quantumgarbage wrote:
       | Loved it, understanding and working through your vulnerabilities
       | is super hard but ultra rewarding. Bold but very altruistic move
       | to publish this
        
       | AstroBen wrote:
       | I think everyone would seriously benefit from learning poker. I
       | used to play professionally and the idea of looking at things as
       | probabilistic bets, and in terms of expected value is so deeply
       | rooted in my mind
       | 
       | Investments are bets. Most sane investors aren't putting it all
       | on one thing
       | 
       | Startups are bets
       | 
       | Applying for jobs. Sales. Dating. Health. Basically everything
       | 
       | You risk $X money and time for a payoff of $Y that comes Z%
       | 
       | You can make the best decision and have a bad outcome because
       | there are so many unknowns. This isn't chess
       | 
       | You can play everything wrong and still hit it out of the park
       | 
       | I mean this is one of the range of outcomes that could've
       | happened. You can't declare yourself a success or failure from
       | one project
       | 
       | Just keep making good decisions and don't risk it all, and you'll
       | more than likely end up fine
        
         | teiferer wrote:
         | > You risk $X money and time for a payoff of $Y that comes Z%
         | 
         | Unlike in poker where you know those 3 numbers if you are
         | paying attention, in real life you know only X, and sometimes
         | not even that. The rest is a guessing game, and that estimation
         | is the hard part.
        
         | altmanaltman wrote:
         | I read about mathematical expectation in a poker book for the
         | first time a long time ago and it's really an interesting way
         | to think about the world. In real life, it's a bit different
         | though since there are other factors than just raw percentages
         | like poker hands. For example, you could do everything right
         | and still fail while someone else (like a nepo hire) can do
         | everything wrong and still succeed.
         | 
         | Life's odds are rigged.
        
         | mhogers wrote:
         | One of my favorite star trek scenes:
         | https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t4A-Ml8YHyM
        
       | taurath wrote:
       | Expectations that we hold inside of ourselves can be a really
       | difficult echo of identities we tried fantasizing about when
       | growing up and as an adult. We want to do well, we want the
       | approval, we want the validation.
       | 
       | The anxiety over expectations can kill you. It's self abuse -
       | people (investors, bosses, spouses) don't invest in you for your
       | anxiety driven productivity, they do it because of who you are
       | outside of that worry. It's hard to replace it if you consider it
       | your motor. Let the desire to do well and good stay, but let the
       | fear of others disappointment go, and the fantasy that we can
       | control those outcomes by squeezing every last drop out of
       | ourselves.
        
         | teiferer wrote:
         | Can you separate "who you are" from that worry? Seems to me
         | it's a part of you and you wouldn't be you without it, for
         | better and worse.
        
           | taurath wrote:
           | Identities shift over time whether we intend it or not. Who
           | you were at 5, or 10 is not who you are at 20, 30, 40. We all
           | pick up baggage, trinkets, burdens, and experiences.
           | 
           | One worries because it was a helpful strategy compared to not
           | worrying, but some (like me very specifically) can get
           | attached to that worry to the detriment of picking up other
           | mechanisms.
        
         | arathis wrote:
         | A wonderful and personally relevant thing to read.
        
       | tptacek wrote:
       | Without trying to be glib about it, this post sounds like a
       | description of second-system syndrome, applied to
       | entrepreneurship. It happens to all of us.
        
       | didip wrote:
       | When doing my own startup in the past, the biggest pain were:
       | loneliness and inexplicable paranoia. Which then lead to anxiety.
       | 
       | This, when unchecked, can lead to self inflicted, unnecessary
       | pressure on myself. And failure to meet the impossible deadlines,
       | created downward spiral.
       | 
       | I think this is normal, everyone went through the same thing.
       | That's why some VCs filter for megalomaniacs, zealots, or people
       | who have no idea what pain is, because the journey is insane
       | arduous.
       | 
       | The pain magnifies if the startup is located in VHCOL. Every
       | month a whale appears and eat a big chunk of your runway. Who
       | wouldn't have anxiety?
        
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       (page generated 2026-01-17 23:00 UTC)