[HN Gopher] The Jeff Dean Facts
       ___________________________________________________________________
        
       The Jeff Dean Facts
        
       Author : ravenical
       Score  : 355 points
       Date   : 2026-01-08 13:02 UTC (9 hours ago)
        
 (HTM) web link (github.com)
 (TXT) w3m dump (github.com)
        
       | thevillagechief wrote:
       | > When Jeff gives a seminar at Stanford, it's so crowded Don
       | Knuth has to sit on the floor. (TRUE)
       | 
       | That's actually funny and cool if true. I think what's even more
       | impressive is that this stuff was all pre-AI boom.
        
         | scottlamb wrote:
         | It probably is. I think the same thing happened when Randall
         | Munroe (of xkcd fame) gave a talk at Google. I was there, it
         | was crowded, and Don Knuth showed up. 90% sure he sat on the
         | floor.
        
           | flir wrote:
           | I would definitely give up my seat to Don Knuth.
        
             | scottlamb wrote:
             | In theory I would too, but I was also on the floor, and
             | believe it or not I didn't notice Don Knuth was there until
             | after the talk had started.
        
           | nooks wrote:
           | Friends and I nabbed front-row seats to the Munroe talk;
           | after a time we were asked to take seats a few rows back to
           | make room for Knuth and others. He definitely did not sit on
           | the floor.
        
             | scottlamb wrote:
             | Well, that shows what my 90% sure memory is worth. I sit
             | corrected.
        
           | svat wrote:
           | FWIW the XKCD talk at Google is here (wow, 18 years ago! I
           | remember watching this video when it was posted):
           | https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zJOS0sV2a24 (Knuth comes up
           | to ask a question at 21:30) (Can't tell from the video where
           | he was sitting otherwise, though there are definitely at
           | least some people sitting on the floor.)
        
         | dekhn wrote:
         | Yes, Jeff told me this one personally. Knuth came in right
         | before the talk started and the room was full. I think somebody
         | later gave up a seat for him.
        
       | stogot wrote:
       | I didn't think I'd laugh, but a few of these cheered me up.
       | Laughter is such a good medicine.
        
         | callumprentice wrote:
         | Agreed! I felt the same way but sitting here with my morning
         | coffee chuckling away. A good start to the day.
        
       | VikingCoder wrote:
       | In an alternate universe, pi is rational, and Jeff Dean is not.
        
       | saagarjha wrote:
       | What's Mustang? Web search?
        
         | bananapub wrote:
         | yes
        
         | mike_hearn wrote:
         | It is or was the serving component of the main index. The part
         | that does the posting list intersections and lookups.
        
       | ChrisMarshallNY wrote:
       | Love it!
       | 
       |  _> Jeff Dean compiles and runs his code before submitting, but
       | only to check for compiler and CPU bugs._
       | 
       | Sadly, I have encountered this, in many "Non-Jeff-Dean"
       | developers.
        
         | Xenoamorphous wrote:
         | What I've found is some really average developers thinking
         | they're Jeff Dean, or at least have that attitude.
        
       | esafak wrote:
       | It's nice that a company has senior engineers that are known by
       | name and looked up to. It shows that engineers are valued, and a
       | meritocracy exists.
        
         | dekhn wrote:
         | Yes, but the downside is even highly accomplished engineers
         | feel unworthy. For example, when I started in 2008, they said
         | everybody should make a "Google Resume" (ongoing list of all
         | the stuff you did at Google) and linked to Jeff's as an
         | example.
         | 
         | He rewrote the entire indexing pipeline at a critical time
         | enabling Google's rapid growth... created mapreduce... helped
         | create bigtable & gfs... wrote the search engine that ran for
         | over a decade... numerous improvements to search and ads
         | quality (back in the days when search and ads quality meant
         | something)... and that was just the first few years.
        
           | shemnon42 wrote:
           | Everyone at Google has imposter syndrome. If you don't, this
           | is how they make sure you get it.
        
         | advisedwang wrote:
         | > It shows that engineers are valued
         | 
         | yep
         | 
         | > and a meritocracy exists
         | 
         | not necessarily. It shows the system got one excellent engineer
         | to an appropriate position. But it doesn't show that the system
         | isn't promoting bozos too, and keeping other excellent
         | engineers down.
        
           | jll29 wrote:
           | > But it doesn't show that the system isn't promoting bozos
           | too, and keeping other excellent engineers down.
           | 
           | Has anyone worked at GOOG and also other corporations? How do
           | the alternative cultures compare?
        
       | andy99 wrote:
       | My highlight are                 During his own Google interview,
       | Jeff Dean was asked the implications if P=NP were true. He said
       | "P = 0 or N = 1." Then, before the interviewer had even finished
       | laughing, Jeff examined Google's public certificate and wrote the
       | private key on the whiteboard.            Jeff Dean wrote an
       | O(n^2) algorithm once. It was for the Traveling Salesman Problem
       | 
       | I read it more as a parody of The Most Interesting Man in the
       | World as opposed to Chuck Norris.
        
         | jakevoytko wrote:
         | "Chuck Norris facts" was a text-only meme format from the mid
         | '00s. Stuff like "Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a
         | brick wall in a game of tennis" or "When Chuck Norris does
         | push-ups, he doesn't push himself up, he pushes the Earth
         | down." The Jeff Dean Facts use the same format. It doesn't have
         | anything to do with Chuck Norris himself.
        
           | mock-possum wrote:
           | I vaguely remember another instance of this around a guy in
           | the army - I forgot if it was at boot camp or what the rank
           | was, but it was something along the lines of "things I'm no
           | longer allowed to do" and just had a bunch of silly military
           | joke/prank type things... man I wonder if I could dig that up
           | again, I think it might have been late 90s internet.
        
             | OrsonSmelles wrote:
             | That would be Skippy's List[0], which as far as I know is
             | the seminal work in the genre (at least on the internet). I
             | originally learned about it through a (rather less compact)
             | version about someone's D&D crimes[1], which was closer to
             | my cultural wheelhouse, but the original holds up even if
             | you have to google some phrases.
             | 
             | [0] https://skippyslist.com/list/
             | 
             | [1] https://theglen.livejournal.com/16735.html
        
               | 0xWTF wrote:
               | > May not pretend to be a fascist stormtrooper, while on
               | duty.
        
         | mcmcmc wrote:
         | The Dos Equis ad campaign came well after Chuck Norris jokes
        
       | bananapub wrote:
       | Someone should IARC the internal one.
        
       | dust-jacket wrote:
       | OK "Jeff Dean once shifted a bit so hard it ended up on another
       | computer" got a proper chuckle from me
        
         | chihuahua wrote:
         | This is the basis for the software that allows you to use a
         | single mouse to control a mouse pointer on several computers.
        
       | scottlamb wrote:
       | > When Jeff Dean goes on vacation, production services across
       | Google mysteriously stop working within a few days. This is
       | actually true. ... It's not clear whether this fact is _really_
       | true, or whether this line is simply part of the joke, so I 've
       | omitted the usual (TRUE) identifier here. Interpret this as you
       | see fit :)
       | 
       | I think this one's true-ish. Back in the day when Google didn't
       | have good cron services for the corp and production domains [1],
       | Jeff Dean's workstation ran a job that made something called
       | (iirc) the "protocol buffer debug database". Basically, a big
       | file (probably an sstable) with compiled .proto introspection
       | data for a huge number of checked-in protobufs. You could use it
       | to produce human-readable debug output from what was otherwise a
       | fairly indecipherable blob. I don't think it was ever intended
       | for production use, but some things that shouldn't have ended up
       | using it. I think after Jeff had been on vacation for a while,
       | his `prodaccess` credentials expired, the job stopped working,
       | maybe the output became unavailable, and some things broke.
       | 
       | Here's a related story I know is true: when I was running Google
       | Reader, I got paged frequently for Bigtable replication delay,
       | and I eventually traced it to trouble accessing files that shared
       | GFS chunkservers with this database. I mentioned it on some
       | mailing list, and almost immediately afterward Jeff Dean CCed me
       | on a code review changing the file's replication from r=3 to
       | r=12. The problem went away.
       | 
       | [1] this lasted longer than you would expect
        
         | jeffbee wrote:
         | The other thing that ran under Jeff's desk for a long time was
         | Code Search, the old one.
        
           | shadowgovt wrote:
           | I remember this. He went on vacation and since he wasn't
           | available to login, code search indexing went down for a bit.
        
         | kentonv wrote:
         | I submitted this "fact" and it is indeed a true story, exactly
         | as you said.
         | 
         | The "global protobuf db" had comments all over it saying it's
         | not intended for production-critical tasks, and it had a lot of
         | caveats and gotchas even aside from being built by Jeff's
         | desktop, but it was so convenient that people naturally ended
         | up using it anyway.
        
           | the-rc wrote:
           | There was a variant of this that occurred later. By that time
           | there might not have been a dependency on Jeff's workstation
           | anymore, but the DB, or at least one of its replicas, was
           | getting copied to... /gfs/cg/home/sanjay/ -- I don't believe
           | it was Jeff this time. At some point, there was a very long
           | PCR in the Oregon datacenter, perhaps even the same one that
           | happened a few weeks after the 2011 Fukushima disaster. With
           | the CG cluster powered off for multiple days, a bunch of
           | stuff broke, but in this case the issue might have been
           | solved by dumping the data and/or reading it from elsewhere.
        
         | chubot wrote:
         | Ha, I also recall this fact about the protobuf DB after all
         | these years
         | 
         | Another Jeff Dean fact should be "Russ Cox was Jeff Dean's
         | intern"
         | 
         | This was either 2006 or 2007, whenever Russ started. I remember
         | when Jeff and Sanjay wrote "gsearch", a distributed grep over
         | google3 that ran on 40-80 machines [1].
         | 
         | There was a series of talks called "Nooglers and the PDB" I
         | think, and I remember Jeff explained gsearch to maybe 20-40 of
         | us in a small conference room in building 43.
         | 
         | It was a tiny and elegant piece of code -- something like ~2000
         | total lines of C++, with "indexer" (I think it just catted all
         | the files, which were later mapped into memory), replicated
         | server, client, and Borg config.
         | 
         | The auth for the indexer lived in Jeff's home dir, perhaps
         | similar to the protobuf DB.
         | 
         | That was some of the first "real Google C++ distributed system"
         | code I read, and it was eye opening.
         | 
         | ---
         | 
         | After that talk, I submitted a small CL to that directory
         | (which I think Sanjay balked at slightly, but Jeff accepted).
         | And then I put a Perforce watch on it to see what other changes
         | were being submitted.
         | 
         | I think the code was dormant for awhile, but later I saw
         | someone named Russ Cox started submitting a ton of changes to
         | it. That became the public Google Code Search product [2]. My
         | memory is that Russ wrote something like 30K lines of google3
         | C++ in a single summer, and then went on to write RE2 (which I
         | later used in Bigtable, etc.)
         | 
         | Much of that work is described here:
         | https://swtch.com/~rsc/regexp/
         | 
         | I remember someone telling him on a mailing list something like
         | "you can't just write your own regex engine; there are too many
         | corner cases in PCRE"
         | 
         | And many people know that Russ Cox went on to be one of the
         | main contributors to the Go language. After the Code Search
         | internship, he worked on Go, which was open sourced in 2009.
         | 
         | ---
         | 
         | [1] Actually I wonder if today if this could perform well
         | enough a single machine with 64 or 128 cores. Back then I think
         | the prod machines were something like 2, 4, or 8 cores.
         | 
         | [2] This was the trigram regex search over open source code on
         | the web. Later, there was also the structured search with
         | compiler front ends, led by Steve Yegge.
        
           | chubot wrote:
           | Side note: I used this query to test LLM recall: _Do jeff
           | dean and russ cox know each other?_
           | 
           | Interesting results:
           | 
           | 1. Gemini pointed me back at MY OWN comment, above, an hour
           | after I wrote it. So Google is crawling the web FAST. It also
           | pointed to: https://learning.acm.org/bytecast/ep78-russ-cox
           | 
           | This matches my recent experience -- Gemini is enhanced for
           | many use cases by superior recall
           | 
           | 2. Claude also knows this, pointing to pages like:
           | https://usesthis.com/interviews/jeff.dean/ -
           | https://goodlisten.co/clip/the-unlikely-friendship-that-
           | shap... (never seen this)
           | 
           | 3. ChatGPT did the worst. It said
           | 
           |  _... they have likely crossed paths professionally given
           | their roles at Google and other tech circles._ ...
           | 
           |  _While I can 't confirm if they know each other personally
           | or have worked directly together on projects, they both would
           | have had substantial overlap in their careers at Google._
           | 
           | (edit: I should add I pay for Claude but not Gemini or
           | ChatGPT; this was not a very scientific test)
        
             | romanhn wrote:
             | Not just Google. I had ChatGPT regurgitate my HN comment
             | (without linking to it) about 15 minutes after posting it.
             | That was a year ago.
             | https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=42649774
        
         | btilly wrote:
         | In 2010, due to the China hacking thing, Google locked down its
         | network a lot.
         | 
         | At least one production service went down because it relied on
         | a job running on Jeff Dean's personal computer that no longer
         | had access. Unfortunately I forget what job it was.
        
       | squigz wrote:
       | "When God said: "Let there be light!", Jeff Dean was there to do
       | the code review."
        
       | m1ck wrote:
       | My 3 When Graham Bell invented the telephone, he saw a missed
       | call from Jeff Dean. Jeff Dean's PIN is the last 4 digits of pi.
       | As a young boy, Jeff Dean reprogrammed his Etch A Sketch to play
       | Tetris.
        
       | m00dy wrote:
       | can he beat llms ? don't think so.
        
         | dekhn wrote:
         | Jeff is so good at AI, he invented much of the infrastructure
         | to implement LLMs, mostly to increase the productivity of other
         | programmers.
        
         | bigstrat2003 wrote:
         | Anyone of modest competence can beat LLMs.
        
       | kentonv wrote:
       | Hey! I created Jeff Dean Facts! Not the jokes themselves, but the
       | site that collected them.
       | 
       | It was in 2008 I think (give or take a year, can't remember). I
       | worked at Google at the time. Chunk Norris Facts was a popular
       | Internet meme (which I think later faded when he came out as
       | MAGA, but I digress...). A colleague (who wishes to remain
       | anonymous) thought the idea of Jeff Dean Facts would be funny,
       | and April 1st was coming up.
       | 
       | At the time, there was a team working on an experimental web app
       | hosting platform code named Prometheus -- it was later released
       | as App Engine. Using an early, internal build I put together a
       | web site where people could submit "facts" about Jeff Dean, rate
       | each other's facts on a five-star scale, and see the top-rated
       | facts. Everything was anonymous. I had a few coworkers who are
       | funnier than me populate some initial facts.
       | 
       | I found a few bugs in Prometheus in the process, which the team
       | rapidly fixed to meet my "launch date" of April 1st. :)
       | 
       | On the day, which I think was a Sunday, early in the morning, I
       | sent an email to the company-wide "misc" mailing list (or maybe
       | it was eng-misc?) from a fake email address (a google group alias
       | with private membership), and got the mailing list moderator to
       | approve it.
       | 
       | It only took Jeff an hour or two to hack his way through the
       | back-end servers (using various internal-facing status pages,
       | Borg logs, etc.) to figure out my identity.
       | 
       | But everyone enjoyed it!
       | 
       | My only regret is that I targeted the site specifically at Jeff
       | and not Sanjay Ghemawat. Back then, Jeff & Sanjay did everything
       | together, and were responsible for inventing a huge number of
       | core technologies at Google (I have no idea to what extent they
       | still work together today). The site was a joke, but I think it
       | had the side effect of elevating Jeff above Sanjay, which is not
       | what I intended. Really the only reason I targeted Jeff is
       | because he's a bit easier to make fun of personality-wise, and
       | because "Jeff Dean Facts" sort of rolls off the tongue easier
       | that "Sanjay Ghemawat Facts" -- but in retrospect this feels a
       | little racist. :(
       | 
       | My personal favorite joke is: Jeff Dean puts his pants on one leg
       | at a time, but if he had more than two legs, you'd see his
       | approach is actually O(log n).
        
         | bummy_commenter wrote:
         | What makes it feel a little racist?
        
           | Lerc wrote:
           | >"Jeff Dean Facts" sort of rolls off the tongue easier that
           | "Sanjay Ghemawat Facts"
           | 
           | The reason it rolls off the tongue easier is because of the
           | familiarity with names of that form. It is making a choice to
           | favour a personal cultural similarity. It clearly wasn't done
           | with malice, but being reflective about it and noticing that
           | it happened is a good thing.
           | 
           | When people talk about privilege, this is a large part of
           | what people mean. There's no intended bias, it is just an
           | honest choice, but all of our choices are based upon our
           | opinions that will inherently have biases of some sort. One
           | factor of privilege is when those choices disproportionately
           | fall your way because decisions end up being made by people
           | who you share a cultural upbringing with. Their intuitive
           | decisions value what you value.
           | 
           | Sometimes the only way you can deal with that is by
           | acknowledging your intuitions contain that implicit bias and
           | dispassionately try and balance them as best you can.
        
             | oncallthrow wrote:
             | It's to do with the length of the name. My own name is
             | polysyllabic and also wouldn't work as a "Fact", and I'm as
             | white as they come.
        
               | Lerc wrote:
               | That's kind of the point. In a culture where names
               | commonly have a lot of syllables, the length of the name
               | is much less of an issue. That tiny discomfort of the
               | extra effort to process more syllables disappears when
               | it's not considered 'extra'
        
               | oncallthrow wrote:
               | I'm not sure I agree. I expect that an Indian would
               | similarly be more likely to coin the term "Krish Singh
               | Facts" than they would "Sanjay Ghemawat Facts", in
               | exactly the same way we do.
               | 
               | I'd be interested to hear from someone from a different
               | culture to verify whether this is true or not.
        
               | Lerc wrote:
               | I don't know how such things are considered in India
               | either (and would also be interested to hear from
               | someone). The salient point is that you _do_ value fewer
               | syllables in a comedy context. All it takes for someone
               | to feel that it might be racist is to recognise that
               | fewer syllables in comedy names may not be universal
               | across cultures, and that taking an action that elevated
               | one person and not another may have inadvertently
               | selected someone of one race because of that preference.
               | 
               | It's not an absolute claim being made here. It's just a
               | consideration that what we intuitively feel may not be an
               | expression of a universally held value.
        
         | peddling-brink wrote:
         | I'm no expert, but I certainly wouldn't call that racism. Bias,
         | absolutely. And it's important that we acknowledge our biases.
         | 
         | But in a more literal sense, the chance of your joke landing
         | was likely higher due to the things that you stated and due to
         | your audience and their biases.
         | 
         | I don't see your joke as being in any way harmful towards
         | Sanjay aside from potential knock on effects of Jeff Dean being
         | more popular. But if you try to calculate every second and
         | third order consequence of everything that you do, let alone
         | any moments of humor you might have.. Well, you might as well
         | lock yourself in a cell now.
        
           | tczMUFlmoNk wrote:
           | > I don't see your joke as being in any way harmful towards
           | Sanjay aside from potential knock on effects of Jeff Dean
           | being more popular
           | 
           | I mean... yeah. When two people are peers and comparably well
           | regarded, and one is elevated above the other and enjoys
           | increased popularity, familiarity, and respect, and the
           | elevation is because that person's name comes from a culture
           | that is more aligned with the dominant culture and easier for
           | them to engage with... that is a pretty textbook example of
           | systemic racism.
           | 
           | I'm not at all saying this to demonize Kenton. We can make
           | mistakes and reflect on them later, and that's laudable. But
           | it _is_ important to recognize these systems for what they
           | are, so that we can notice them when they happen all around
           | us every day.
        
             | bummy_commenter wrote:
             | I see. I hadn't thought of it from a perspective of
             | dominant culture. Looking at it that way, it can appear
             | racist.
             | 
             | I looked at it from the perspective of syllable count. Jeff
             | Dean is easier to say by that measure. If Jeff were instead
             | named Alexander Chesterton, would he still be the obvious
             | choice to head the facts? My takeaway from this is that a
             | single-syllable name is perhaps a great boon.
        
               | elijaht wrote:
               | Sanjay is/was well known enough that you could have just
               | used "Sanjay facts"
        
             | derangedHorse wrote:
             | I find the assumption that Jeff Dean sounded better with
             | these jokes because it sounds American to be a bigger issue
             | than immediately acknowledging that it's probably because
             | it's less syllables. These type of jokes are rapid fire and
             | a lengthy name just fits better whether it's 'Jeff Dean' or
             | 'Neel Patel'.
        
               | refulgentis wrote:
               | Seeing this reminds me Sanjay is two syllables
        
             | kentonv wrote:
             | Thanks, you explained this better than I could.
             | 
             | I'm not calling myself Hitler here, I think it was a mild
             | offense. But in retrospect the site could have been about
             | both of them, with competing facts, and that could have
             | been really cool. Oh well.
        
             | jrowen wrote:
             | I don't think it's really fair to call it racism. That is
             | such a loaded accusation to levy today that it should only
             | be used if someone really wronged another person.
             | 
             | We all have cultural biases and familiarities, is that
             | wrong? By this definition, we're all racist. Maybe that's
             | true but it kind of ceases to be a useful distinction at
             | that point. I wholeheartedly agree with your last sentence,
             | but I don't know if throwing around the r-word is helpful.
        
             | rayiner wrote:
             | > that is a pretty textbook example of systemic racism.
             | 
             | It's not "racism." There's plenty of Indians with names
             | that are easy for English speakers. Conversely, the same
             | situations would've presented itself if the other person
             | was any sort of white Eastern European.
             | 
             | In fact, calling this "racist" is itself racist. I have
             | close friends with family names from Poland or Croatia
             | where we don't even try to pronounce their names correctly.
             | Nobody feels bad about that. But for some reason if it's a
             | "brown person" we're suddenly super sensitive about it.
             | _That_ is differential treatment based on race.
             | 
             | People get awkward about how to pronounce my name because
             | I'm brown. But it's hard to pronounce because it's
             | misspelled Germanic! They wouldn't act that way if I was a
             | white guy with the same name.
        
               | kentonv wrote:
               | Are we... arguing about what happened in my head?
               | 
               | As the world's foremost expert about what happened in my
               | head, do I get to, like, pick a winner here?
               | 
               | If so I pick tczMUFlmoNk, I think their description is
               | accurate. (I think you might want to re-read it as it
               | feels like you are responding to something else.)
               | 
               | If I don't get to pick, this is quite weird! "People on
               | Hacker News tell me I'm wrong about my own thoughts." was
               | not on my -- actually wait, that doesn't sound unexpected
               | at all now that I write it out! OK, carry on.
        
               | rayiner wrote:
               | You wrote what your thoughts were. I'm just weighing in
               | on whether your thoughts are "racist." To the extent you
               | feel sensitive about the issue because someone has darker
               | skin, where you probably wouldn't have written that part
               | of the post if the other guy were Polish, that's racist.
               | It's racist to treat people differently based on skin
               | color, even if you're well intentioned about it.
        
               | refulgentis wrote:
               | You're conflating two different things:
               | 
               | 1. The original choice: Kenton picked "Jeff Dean" because
               | the name was more familiar/rhythmic in English. This
               | wasn't about skin color, it was about name patterns.
               | You're right that a Polish surname could have the same
               | issue, and in that, you're demonstrating complete
               | understanding of the issue at hand.
               | 
               | 2. The reflection afterward: Recognizing that name-
               | familiarity advantages _systematically_ correlate with
               | certain cultural backgrounds more than others isn 't
               | "differential treatment based on skin color", it is
               | observing a statistical pattern in outcomes.
               | 
               | And here's the key point: given Kenton's explanation,
               | they are indicating they _would_ reflect the same way if
               | Sanjay had been Polish with an unfamiliar surname. You
               | 're arguing with Kenton about what Kenton thinks and
               | could think... while Kenton is right here. At some point
               | you have to engage with what he's actually saying rather
               | than insisting you understand his mind better than he
               | does.
        
               | kentonv wrote:
               | Yes, I actually do think if Sanjay Ghemawat were instead
               | Wojciech Przemyslaw Kosciuszko-Wisniewski, white European
               | but otherwise an equal engineer, and I chose to elevate
               | Jeff Dean over him, I would later feel equally bad about
               | it.
               | 
               | (Which again to be clear I'm am not riven with guilt
               | here, I just think maybe given another chance I would
               | have made it about both of them.)
        
           | bigstrat2003 wrote:
           | It's not remotely racist. OP is being self critical for no
           | good reason.
        
         | morley wrote:
         | Ah, I knew I recognized the friendship between Jeff and Sanjay
         | -- they were the subject of a New Yorker article in 2018:
         | 
         | https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2018/12/10/the-friendship...
         | 
         | EDIT: And HN at the time:
         | 
         | https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=18588697
        
         | liquidgecka wrote:
         | That meme started in early 2007 I believe. I started in 2006
         | and was in ZRH by 2008 and it was around long before I made
         | that move.
        
         | omoikane wrote:
         | > My only regret is that I targeted the site specifically at
         | Jeff and not Sanjay Ghemawat.
         | 
         | Later version of the site was generalized so that people can
         | submit facts for any user. I think Jeff Dean still has all the
         | funniest fact though.
        
         | oncallthrow wrote:
         | > but in retrospect this feels a little racist. :(
         | 
         | It's not racist. It's just to do with name length.
        
         | ariwilson wrote:
         | Hi Kenton! I was the recent grad you handed this web app off to
         | after you built it, so I expanded Jeff Dean Facts so that
         | anyone could create and rate facts about anyone at Google :).
         | There were a ton of team in-jokes added before I stopped
         | working on it - O(5k) IIRC! :)
         | 
         | This web app was also how I learned the pain of maintaining a
         | live web service with a lot of ever-changing dependencies. How
         | I sighed when the AppEngine version changed and I had to fix
         | things again...
         | 
         | I handed it off again before I left Google but I have no memory
         | of who that was to unfortunately :(.
        
           | kridsdale3 wrote:
           | I just searched Moma, and your note about it going down is
           | the most recent update on this front. Interestingly though,
           | it looks like Moma itself has a custom SERP renderer for Jeff
           | Dean facts that came up when I searched. The example fact
           | that came up was hilarious, but I guess I shouldn't share it
           | on public HN.
        
           | kentonv wrote:
           | Hi Ari,
           | 
           | Thanks so much for falling for my trick and taking it over, I
           | was getting pretty sick of dealing with the same issues you
           | describe. :)
           | 
           | One of the reasons Cloudflare Workers has a policy that we
           | absolutely never break deployed code, ever. (Well... at least
           | not intentionally...)
        
         | swyx wrote:
         | > Jeff & Sanjay did everything together,
         | 
         | my nonexpert impression is jeff keeps much more of a public
         | profile. hence the natural celebrity goes to him. was this not
         | true way back in the day?
        
           | kentonv wrote:
           | I feel like Jeff's public profile has grown quite a bit since
           | then. Note that in 2008 he wasn't doing anything related to
           | AI yet -- none of that had even started. That has since given
           | him somewhat of a more public role, whereas Sanjay has stayed
           | on infrastructure which is more internal-facing. I do think
           | Jeff Dean Facts in itself has played some part in enhancing
           | his celebrity status, too.
           | 
           | With that said, I suppose it's hard for me to say what the
           | public perception of the two was in 2008 as I only knew of
           | either of them from working there.
        
         | vessenes wrote:
         | Re Jeff and Sanjay - they recently were on Dwarkesh together I
         | believe - so it looks like the partnership is still going
         | strong. Regarding Dean over Ghemawat facts, the vibe from the
         | convo is that Sanjay is the (very slightly) junior partner of
         | the two, or at least he lets Jeff do more of the talking. Very,
         | very nice vibes hearing them talk, and their war stories are
         | clearly nuts.
        
           | chrfrasco wrote:
           | It was Jeff Dean and Noam Shazeer:
           | https://www.dwarkesh.com/p/jeff-dean-and-noam-shazeer
        
           | dekhn wrote:
           | The one thing I noticed when I worked near Jeff and Sanjay
           | and talked to them over coffee is that Jeff is the smart one,
           | but Sanjay is the wise one.
           | 
           | Jeff always had an idea how to make something a bit faster
           | using a clever trick, but Sanjay would respond by coming up
           | with how to express the abstraction in a way that other
           | mortals could comprehend, or just telling Jeff it wasn't a
           | good idea because it would make things more difficult to
           | maintain.
           | 
           | Jeff was also prone to dad jokes, Sanjay's humor was far more
           | subtle. Both were awesome to talk to and one of my proudest
           | moments was when Jeff read a document proposal I wrote
           | ("Google should get involved in Genomics Research and Drug
           | Discovery") and took it seriously.
        
       | keybored wrote:
       | Guy happens to be the lead of Google AI right now.
        
         | lysace wrote:
         | My outsider understanding: Google AI (a Google team which Jeff
         | Dean ran) was merged with DeepMind to create Google DeepMind (a
         | subsidiary of Alphabet, like Google).
         | 
         | Demis Hassabis is the CEO of Google DeepMind and Jeff Dean is
         | now the Chief Scientist of Google.
         | 
         | https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Google_DeepMind
         | 
         | https://research.google/people/jeff/
         | 
         |  _I joined Google in mid-1999, and I 'm currently Google's
         | Chief Scientist, focusing on AI advances for Google DeepMind
         | and Google Research. My areas of focus include machine learning
         | and AI and applications of AI to problems that help billions of
         | people in societally beneficial ways. I have a broad variety of
         | interests, including machine learning, large-scale distributed
         | systems, computer systems performance, compression techniques,
         | information retrieval, application of machine learning to
         | search and other related problems, microprocessor architecture,
         | compiler optimizations, and the development of new products
         | that organize information in new and interesting ways._
        
       | nickstaggs wrote:
       | Maybe I just run in different circles but I was always under the
       | impression that the so called Chuck Norris of programming was Jon
       | Skeet, another rather "famous" google employee
        
         | billbrown wrote:
         | He's the Chuck Norris of StackOverflow, maybe.
        
         | dysoco wrote:
         | Yeah I thought exactly the same, but I guess Jon Skeet is from
         | a different era altogether, we're moving into a world where
         | many programmers perhaps have never even entered StackOverflow.
         | I feel old.
        
           | Sesse__ wrote:
           | Jon Skeet was very much a local hero on StackOverflow, and on
           | StackOverflow only.
        
         | freeCandy wrote:
         | To me, the Chuck Norris of programming has to be Fabrice
         | Bellard
        
       | linsomniac wrote:
       | Reminds me of https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Story_of_Mel
        
         | shagie wrote:
         | As I write this, catb is not serving promptly... so
         | https://users.cs.utah.edu/~elb/folklore/mel.html
         | 
         | I also recommend Monktoberfest 2016: Bryan Cantrill - Oral
         | Tradition in Software Engineering :
         | https://youtu.be/4PaWFYm0kEw?si=nqfxSae52-89x5Ye&t=653
        
       | lookingdesk wrote:
       | Jeff Dean liquidated Google's entire AI ethics team because they
       | wouldn't revise an academic publication to align with the
       | corporate PR spin on AI.
        
         | whynotminot wrote:
         | As far as I can tell, no one seems to think much of value was
         | lost.
        
           | shadowgovt wrote:
           | It turns out when you usher the dissenters out of the room,
           | you hear a lot less dissent.
        
             | whynotminot wrote:
             | It's not like they were summarily executed. They are much
             | freer now outside of corporate control to speak their minds
             | as they please.
             | 
             | The only real question is if anyone deems them worth
             | listening to.
        
               | shadowgovt wrote:
               | I mean, I follow them.
               | 
               | Their problem domain is pretty niche and they're pretty
               | technical on it so I don't doubt their traction is mostly
               | academics.
        
           | keeganpoppen wrote:
           | even at the time that was the verdict
        
           | foolfoolz wrote:
           | ai ethics was/is useless. it felt a lot like the movie
           | industry of the 1930s saying they will police themselves just
           | to keep any bigger regulator away
        
             | dsr_ wrote:
             | ... And then they didn't!
        
             | jll29 wrote:
             | To say "AI ethics is useless" is itself useless.
             | 
             | Morality is not there to be useful, right or wrong in moral
             | sense are normative categories not utilitarian ones.
             | 
             | But what you possibly may mean is really AI ethics self-
             | regulation by large tech corporation does not work. (If
             | that was your intended statement, I'd agree.)
        
         | morcus wrote:
         | I'm having trouble following what exactly this means.
         | 
         | So Jeff wanted the team to modify an existing publication to
         | fit the PR spin on AI, the ethics team refused, and Jeff
         | dissolved the team?
        
           | lookingdesk wrote:
           | https://www.technologyreview.com/2020/12/04/1013294/google-a.
           | ..
        
         | chubot wrote:
         | This is overstating it by a lot. Jeff was the AI lead at the
         | time, and there was a big conflict between management and the
         | ethics team
         | 
         | And I actually think Google needs to pay more attention to AI
         | ethics ... but it's a publically traded company and the
         | incentives are all wrong -- i.e. it's going to do whatever it
         | needs to do keep up with the competition, similar to what
         | happened with Google+ (perceived competition from Facebook)
        
         | tziki wrote:
         | You mean he fired one person who threatened to quit if the
         | changes to the paper weren't to their liking? Or am I
         | misremembering?
        
         | shemnon42 wrote:
         | Just another Jeff Dean optimizing out unneeded code story.
        
         | lemoncucumber wrote:
         | That incident was the first time I ever heard of Jeff Dean and
         | remains the main thing I associate him with.
        
           | scottyah wrote:
           | Isn't it crazy how the media can do that? It really doesn't
           | matter how much good you do in the world if your enemies
           | speak louder. At least in the public's perception.
        
           | jll29 wrote:
           | Not sure if he was told to stop the paper and fire the team,
           | or whether he decided that himself.
           | 
           | But in any case, it's a stain on an overwise exceptionally
           | brilliant career with wonderful software engineering
           | achievements.
           | 
           | I wonder if they ever wondered if they'd do it again?
        
       | benzguo wrote:
       | loved this so much i made a jeff dean persona for my AI:
       | https://www.zo.computer/pub/persona/prs_WtLmiGHQmHqaMKIy
        
       | justinchen7 wrote:
       | Funny, but also a reminder of how rare it is to find people who
       | combine deep technical ability with the calm, high-leverage
       | decision-making that scales teams. Memes aside, those are the
       | folks who quietly shape entire fields.
        
       | dhruv3006 wrote:
       | https://static.googleusercontent.com/media/research.google.c...
       | 
       | To me this will remain his best work.
        
       | leopoldj wrote:
       | A few more:
       | 
       | Jeff Dean doesn't use a compiler; he just glares at his source
       | code until it executes.
       | 
       | Jeff Dean once optimized a sleep(10) call to return in 5 seconds.
       | 
       | Jeff Dean's keyboard doesn't have a Backspace key; he simply
       | doesn't make mistakes.
       | 
       | /end. There's no need to get up. I will see myself out.
        
       | philipwhiuk wrote:
       | See also https://meta.stackexchange.com/questions/9134/jon-skeet-
       | fact...
        
       | bhickey wrote:
       | I once mailed a CL to Sanjay. He replied, "This is outside of my
       | expertise. Can you send it to Jeff?"
        
         | seanmcdirmid wrote:
         | One of my more junior teammates got their CL assigned to Sanjay
         | for review, she had no idea who he was and I just told her to
         | look at all her new badges tomorrow.
        
           | acoster wrote:
           | IME Sanjay responds to CLs way faster than I expected.
        
             | seanmcdirmid wrote:
             | I've never had in for a review at google, I think it only
             | happens if you change something very top level. I did an
             | internship under him the summer before he joined Google at
             | Dec/Compaq SRC though. I learned a lot of tricks from him
             | then (like using graphviz to print out compiler graphs to
             | do debugging).
        
       | postscapes1 wrote:
       | I am only semi technical so most of these go right over my head,
       | but after watching a ton of Jeff Dean interviews, etc it is
       | really fun to see how a 10-100x engineer can operate over such a
       | long career (while seemingly a normal and kind person to boot)
        
       | devin wrote:
       | The more specific the "fact" is to the target, the better IMO.
       | 
       | - Bruce Schneier facts - https://www.schneierfacts.com/
       | 
       | - Doug McIlroy facts -
       | https://github.com/mischief/9problems/blob/master/lib/dougfa...
        
       | shadowgovt wrote:
       | I remember one that isn't in the list. Paraphrasing:
       | 
       | "Jeff Dean has access to the priority above P1. He's only used it
       | once. It's why February only has 28 days."
        
         | yongjik wrote:
         | I also remember that but I think it was attributed to someone
         | else. The site hosted several (internally famous person) facts,
         | but none of them were as famous as Jeff Dean.
        
       | pss314 wrote:
       | New Yorker published an interesting article on Jeff Dean and
       | Sanjay Ghemawat few years ago - The Friendship That Made Google
       | Huge [0]
       | 
       | [0]: https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2018/12/10/the-
       | friendship...
        
       | rednafi wrote:
       | Another one I have heard is "Jeff Dean's stare can fix bitrot"
        
       | jackblemming wrote:
       | Jeff Dean is a lot smarter than me, more accomplished, and more
       | talented. But let's be honest. He was a big part of TensorFlow
       | and TensorFlow sucks. And I imagine it reflects a lot about Jeff
       | Dean internally. Smart, clever, but maybe over complicated or
       | over engineered. And that itself reflects hugely at what Google
       | tends to like, and why he's so successful (at Google).
       | 
       | And if we're being brutally honest, I wonder how he would have
       | faired at somewhere like Bell Labs ;)
        
       | hvenev wrote:
       | > Jeff once simultaneously reduced all binary sizes by 3% and
       | raised the severity of a previously known low-priority Python bug
       | to critical-priority in a single change that contained no Python
       | code.
       | 
       | This sounds really plausible. A change to the C toolchain/library
       | (for example, specialized/inlined memcpy) may affect binary sizes
       | significantly, and may change the behavior of something the C
       | standard leaves undefined (for example, memcpy with overlapping
       | arguments).
        
       | ripe wrote:
       | What does "readability" mean? It's mentioned in several of these
       | jokes: "binary readability", etc.
        
         | bubblicious wrote:
         | readability grants a code reviewer the power to approve changes
         | in a specific language
        
           | shemnon42 wrote:
           | I was wondering if someone was going to ask. It's the most
           | bizzare aspect of code reviews at Google.
           | 
           | And "Readability" doesn't mean you are good at a language, it
           | means you are good at it in the way Google uses it. C++
           | readability is the poster child of this. Borgcron, not so
           | much.
        
           | sowbug wrote:
           | A bit more detail: long ago, before the time of the Great
           | Brace War, people wrote code using all sorts of styles:
           | tabs/spaces, short or long variable/function names, Hungarian
           | notation or not, comments or not, long blocks or short, and
           | so on. You could often tell which of your teammates wrote a
           | block of code simply by newline usage. This made it hard to
           | read and contribute code in a less familiar part of the
           | codebase.
           | 
           | Google mitigated this problem at scale by introducing the
           | concept of "readability" for each language (C++, Java, and
           | Python, simpler times). If you had readability, you could
           | approve another person's change for that language. If you
           | didn't, you could still review the code, but the reviewee
           | also had to go find someone else with readability.
           | 
           | After you'd accumulated a certain number of commits in a
           | language, you could try to get your own readability by
           | bundling up your CLs (changelists) and submitting them to the
           | readability queue, where a certain group of senior people
           | with readability would evaluate whether your code was
           | sufficiently idiomatic. This process could take months, or
           | even years if you didn't write much in a particular language.
           | In any event, it felt like a real achievement to get
           | readability.
           | 
           | The upshot of all this was that most code at Google felt
           | authorless in a good way: if you knew and expected Google
           | style, all the codebase felt the same, and you could
           | concentrate on the logic flow rather than the regional
           | dialect. And needless to say all the energy wasted on whose
           | style was best was squelched in the readability queue.
           | 
           | This is all past tense because I last wrote code for Google
           | more than 10 years ago, and I'm sure the process has changed
           | since then. Code formatters, shared editor defaults, and
           | presubmit checks have surely automated away a lot of the
           | toil, and there's much less of a monorepo culture these days,
           | so there are probably more style dialects (in addition to
           | many, many more permitted languages).
        
             | zhengyi13 wrote:
             | I left in 2023. From memory at that time:
             | 
             | 1) go kinda eliminates a lot of the reasons for style
             | guides to exist w/ `go fmt` and separately, I think the Go
             | readability team made a conscious decision to approach
             | readability differently anyway,
             | 
             | 2) ... once you had a couple people on your local team w/
             | readability, if your team wanted to do things a certain
             | way, well, style guides and formal readability wasn't
             | really an issue anymore.
        
       | desi_ninja wrote:
       | We need a Dave Cutler facts equivalent too. But the ppl who could
       | have made this are probably retired or
        
       | furyofantares wrote:
       | > Unsatisfied with constant time, Jeff Dean created the world's
       | first O(1/n) algorithm.
       | 
       | I can think of a lot of 1/n algorithms! Head, Tail...
        
         | nojvek wrote:
         | Those are still O(1)
        
           | furyofantares wrote:
           | Right, lol
        
       | theodric wrote:
       | This is the sort of thing that's perfect as a fortune file, so
       | here you go:
       | https://github.com/theodric/fortitude/tree/master/jeffdeanfa...
        
       | Bost wrote:
       | The TheJeffDeanFacts repo contains no issues. (TRUE)
        
       | Myrmornis wrote:
       | Any recommendations for a talk by him to watch or something
       | written by him to read?
        
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