[HN Gopher] All it takes is for one to work out
       ___________________________________________________________________
        
       All it takes is for one to work out
        
       Author : herbertl
       Score  : 744 points
       Date   : 2025-11-29 20:22 UTC (1 days ago)
        
 (HTM) web link (alearningaday.blog)
 (TXT) w3m dump (alearningaday.blog)
        
       | mhog_hn wrote:
       | On the one hand it is a wholesome article. On the other hand - so
       | much wasted potential of people squeezing out the last bits when
       | competing. Nash equilibria can suck
        
       | hugodan wrote:
       | That's an aggressive problematic gambler mentality.
        
         | xandrius wrote:
         | When the outcome is positive, I see nothing wrong. Especially
         | if you lose basically nothing in trying.
        
           | mewpmewp2 wrote:
           | Your time, energy, etc are not nothing. If you think like
           | that, you have already lost and are not making optimal
           | decisions.
        
             | xandrius wrote:
             | That counter-argument is only valid if you actually had
             | other things to do.
             | 
             | If the alternative to send to yet another university
             | application is to start a new match of CoD then it wasn't a
             | loss.
        
             | moleperson wrote:
             | The way I read this is that there are many "games" in life
             | (applying for schools, jobs, dating, etc) where the odds of
             | "winning" each instance are not in your favor, but you only
             | need to win once to win overall. If you treat every absence
             | of a positive outcome as a failure, then you're inevitably
             | going to lose hope and give up.
             | 
             | This is in contrast to gambling where you actually _do_
             | need to win more often than not to win overall.
        
               | programjames wrote:
               | Seems like a momumental waste of energy being pushed as
               | "hustling". Applying to college should be cooperative
               | between you and the admissions office: asking, are we a
               | good fit? Applying in the hope they mess up and admit you
               | when they're really better off rejecting you is so
               | antisocial.
               | 
               | Admissions are sort-of Pareto distributed, so most people
               | admitted were on the edge of being rejected. Since there
               | is a bit of noise in the process, this is why any one
               | individual applying to 10x as many places of a similar
               | tier will be more likely to get into one. But then when
               | everyone does it, no one is more or less likely to get in
               | except those that are actually cooperating with the
               | admissions office. You're burning down the commons for a
               | fleeting bit of warmth. Might I suggest installing a
               | furnace in your house instead?
        
         | ashu1461 wrote:
         | Is it ? In gambling your odds are fixed, but in real life,
         | wouldn't you get better at solving problems with each iteration
         | ?
        
           | mewpmewp2 wrote:
           | Depends - are you meaningfully trying to improve or do you
           | keep doing the same thing over and over not getting it?
        
         | losvedir wrote:
         | No it's not. Gambler's fallacy is "I just flipped tails so
         | heads is more likely now". I read this article as "heads has a
         | 50% chance of coming up so I'll get one eventually" (which is
         | true - law of large numbers).
        
           | mewpmewp2 wrote:
           | I think none of those blanket statements here work.
           | 
           | Really it's just odds of finding success vs effort / time
           | spent. And whether that's worth it.
           | 
           | Any of the blanket statements could be true depending on what
           | the exact odds are.
           | 
           | There could be near 0% chance of finding success and it would
           | be better idea to rethink and spend time elsewhere, or yes,
           | there's 10% chance of finding success and it's significant
           | enough that trying 20 times is enough.
           | 
           | If we are talking about e.g. finding a house, if you are not
           | finding any it could very well be that your expectations vs
           | budget is unlikely to find anything and you have to
           | reconsider strategy.
           | 
           | Someone could be repeatedly trying to find work, and thinking
           | it's just a matter of time, but really time would be better
           | spent on improving their strategy, resume, or other means.
           | 
           | These statements to me seem like motivational non-sense which
           | misrepresent how real world works or what the patterns really
           | are like. At best they just give someone a false
           | understanding of how the world works, at worst they make
           | someone spend all their time in the wrong direction.
        
         | Animats wrote:
         | Indeed. "Just one more roll of the dice and I'll be ahead."
         | 
         | Worse, this guy isn't trying to get a job. He's just trying to
         | get into grad school. Which is no longer a guarantee of a good
         | career, but may be a guarantee of a big debt. Remember that "I
         | did everything right" post on HN a few weeks ago? CS degree
         | from a good school, but nobody wants junior CS people any more.
        
         | raw_anon_1111 wrote:
         | The difference is that if I apply for 10 jobs at once or put a
         | bid in for 10 houses hoping one will succeed, I've lost nothing
         | for trying 10 times.
         | 
         | If I gamble and try 10 times and win once - I have probably
         | lost money.
         | 
         | Even if I interview 10 times and fail 9, I've learned something
         | from each interview and I've gotten better. That's also not
         | true from rolling dice.
        
           | programjames wrote:
           | You lost something when every other person started doing the
           | same thing. Now you have to write or review ten applications
           | instead of one. Now you're going to get paid less because it
           | cost $20k to hire you instead of $2k. Now your company is
           | going to be filled with like-minded people, "hustlers", who
           | do not know how to improve things themselves, just spray and
           | pray until someone mistakenly rewards them.
        
       | maest wrote:
       | Related: You should expect to keep getting "no"s until you get a
       | yes. That means, getting a "no" is actually normal, it's not
       | failing.
        
         | energy123 wrote:
         | Each "no" is a signal that you're still trying which puts you
         | above many people whose ego can't handle hearing that word so
         | they settle and turn to bitterness.
        
       | prophesi wrote:
       | Reminds me of Veritasium's recent video[0] on power law
       | distributions.
       | 
       | [0] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HBluLfX2F_k
        
         | mncharity wrote:
         | "[O]ne outlier can dominate the average"; "We're used to living
         | in this world of normal distributions and you act a certain
         | way, but as soon as you switch to this realm that is governed
         | by a power law, you need to start acting vastly different. It
         | really pays to know what kind of world or what kind of game you
         | are playing."
        
       | legerdemain wrote:
       | You've been trying for a long time.
       | 
       | What do you do if the job that makes you an offer doesn't excite
       | you? What if the house that feels like home needs more repairs
       | than you can afford? What if the program that accepts you has
       | crappy funding? What if the person who chooses you has red flags?
       | 
       | Do you say "screw it," cross your fingers, and walk through the
       | door that kind of sucks? Or do you keep looking as long as your
       | resources last you?
        
         | bgoated01 wrote:
         | Right. All it takes is for one to work out, if you have several
         | suitable options. If some of the options are only vaguely
         | suitable, or it comes to light through the process that some of
         | them are not suitable at all, then it takes more than just one
         | working out. That's what I was thinking while reading this.
        
         | GMoromisato wrote:
         | Every situation is different, and none of us can reliably
         | predict the future. Sometimes dealing with a bad job until you
         | get a better one is the right move. Sometimes it's the wrong
         | move.
         | 
         | Specifics, about the job and yourself, matter. If you feel like
         | sharing, this is a pretty good community with good instincts.
         | 
         | The magic in "all it takes is for one to work out" is in the
         | strength it gives you to keep trying. Trying something that
         | might fail is hard, even when we know that trying is the right
         | thing to do.
        
           | legerdemain wrote:
           | My point is that, at least anecdotally, certainty is rare.
           | Most of the time, for most people, the experience is less
           | "yes!" and more "I guess."
           | 
           | More widely applicable advice would be how to deal with
           | compromise, not how to hold out for "the right one."
        
             | GMoromisato wrote:
             | There is no certainty, not about the future at least. In my
             | experience, being able to face uncertainty without despair
             | is one of the most important skills to have.
             | 
             | The interesting thing about "all it takes is for one to
             | work out" is that it helps you face uncertainty. No matter
             | how many times you've tried, you maintain the faith that
             | the next time might succeed.
             | 
             | And it is all about faith, which is probably why it is so
             | hard for us analytic/logic-driven people to adopt. But the
             | opposite of faith isn't knowledge--it's nihilism. If the
             | universe is an uncaring and even hostile place, and if
             | there are no guarantees that everything will work out, and
             | if the only certainty is eventual death, then why even
             | bother, right? Nihilism is seductive because it is the
             | philosophy most compatible with reality. It is what you're
             | left with after entering the Total Perspective Vortex.
             | 
             | The only antidote to nihilism is belief. Belief that things
             | will work out. That it's worth fighting for things, even if
             | we often lose. That striving to be the person we want to be
             | is worth something.
             | 
             | I know I've drifted far from your original point about how
             | to deal with compromise. Again, I feel the answer depends
             | on the circumstances. But I think a general answer is to
             | decide what "the right one" means for you and nurture the
             | belief that you will get there eventually. Once you know
             | where you want to be and have the conviction that you will
             | get there, everything else is simple.
             | 
             | Simple, but not easy. Maybe you've compromised for your
             | current job. What will it take to get "the right one"? Is
             | it more skills? Is it connections? Is it money? Is it
             | courage? Maybe you don't know--that's okay. What's the next
             | job that will get you closer to your goal? What do you need
             | to get that job?
             | 
             | I guarantee that one of the things you need to do is simply
             | try. Try to apply for a new job; try to learn a new skill;
             | try to make a new professional connection.
             | 
             | That's when you remember "all it takes is for one to work
             | out". Try and fail and try again.
        
         | kristianp wrote:
         | Often the "one" you need isn't the ideal, it's just what gets
         | you into the market. I'm thinking a job that gets you some
         | experience and much needed pay or a property that lets you
         | build equity while prices continue to climb.
        
         | riazrizvi wrote:
         | Maybe consider that we are all calibrated to standards that are
         | this hodgepodge of other people's messaging of what standards
         | should be, and they communicate them for a variety of reasons,
         | very few of which are truly designed for your reality, your
         | situation.
         | 
         | So when you say, 'kinda sucks', perhaps ask if the opinion is
         | grounded in (your) reality?
         | 
         | Once recalibrated to accept that what we are in, is inescapable
         | true life, then we stop looking for something better, and
         | instead focus on the challenge of making it better than it
         | should naturally be.
         | 
         | Happiness I believe, is a decision, we choose it when we feel
         | it's a sustainable perspective. I think it's sustainable to
         | allow ourselves to be happy, whenever we achieve marginal
         | improvement on what is natural.
        
         | augusto-moura wrote:
         | These are not final decisions, get something going is better
         | than nothing. You don't need to be locked on a job, or a house,
         | or a degree. People have more time in their life than they seem
         | to think. Sure, you might spend a few years on something not
         | ideal, but the alternative being nothing is much worse
        
       | jaychia wrote:
       | Great article and a timely reminder for many :)
       | 
       | Applicable not just for grad school applications, but also to job
       | apps, startups, and relationships.
       | 
       | Hang in there y'all, all it takes is for one to work out. Keep
       | working hard, kings & queens.
        
       | flatline wrote:
       | We job hop, have multiple hustles. Many people on this board have
       | started multiple companies, sometimes at once, on an ongoing
       | basis. Do you only want just one friend? People tend to have
       | multiple romantic/sexual entanglements, sometimes at once, but
       | generally more than one over a lifetime.
       | 
       | I think this can be a useful maxim to get you to the next day,
       | but in reality it takes a lot more than one of anything for a
       | fulfilling life. We grow and change and need novelty. We are held
       | in a web of interdependent, ever-shifting relationships - with
       | people, businesses, material goods, ecology. I think that
       | generally people are seeking connection in a broader sphere. To
       | be held in community, to have multiple significant identities
       | (mother/wife/boss), to live in richness and abundance where any
       | one thing is not make or break.
        
         | ChrisMarshallNY wrote:
         | _> in reality it takes a lot more than one of anything for a
         | fulfilling life_
         | 
         | We seem to view "reality" through different lenses. I've
         | usually found "one" to be a magic number; as long as it's the
         | "right one." That's the gist of what he's saying.
         | 
         | In my experience, needing more than one, often signals issues
         | that need closer examination.
         | 
         | In my community, we have a joke: _" An addict is someone that
         | needs two One-A-Days."_
        
           | HPsquared wrote:
           | I find the same, individual jobs or relationships seem to
           | give supralinear returns.
           | 
           | There's a lot of initial investment and groundworks, then
           | once you're well-integrated, the marginal returns get higher
           | for the most established relationships.
        
           | TeMPOraL wrote:
           | Getting from zero straight to _the one_ is like winning the
           | lottery. Most people need to get through multiple  "ones" to
           | find "the one".
        
             | ChrisMarshallNY wrote:
             | Agreed. It's not what I'd call a "fulfilling" process,
             | though.
        
         | afro88 wrote:
         | Do you really think that is what the author meant? They're not
         | saying "you only need 1". They're talking about going from 0 to
         | 1. It's sometimes a long and arduous 0. Your framing doesn't
         | help someone trying to get from 0 to 1. Once they're at 1
         | though, sure. But getting there can feel helpless, and that's
         | what this post is about.
        
         | j45 wrote:
         | We can try to walk in 10-20 directions at the same time and
         | move a tiny direction all, or none.
         | 
         | Or we can realize we have some things to learn that we will
         | learn no matter whether we pick the startup, or job to learn
         | transferrable skills and also become better well rounded.
        
       | siliconc0w wrote:
       | It's also interesting to consider that we are such adaptative
       | creatures that we will likely settle to a similar level of
       | happiness no matter what the choice.
        
       | 1970-01-01 wrote:
       | Purely poetic advice. If the local economy collapses, you will
       | very much want to move. There's still a 50% chance the first
       | spouse doesn't hold up until death. There are many schools that
       | give out degrees that aren't worth a wooden frame in today's job
       | market.
        
       | deadbabe wrote:
       | While it's true that all we need is one to work out, in general
       | we strive to be in positions where we have multiple options, not
       | just hinging everything on one passing chance. Life is less
       | stressful that way, and that's why people today feel like they
       | are under so much pressure and have little choice over how their
       | lives unfold.
        
       | samdoesnothing wrote:
       | Why are so many people in this thread purposefully
       | misinterpreting the post so they can criticize it? The author
       | obviously doesn't mean you only need one thing per domain to work
       | out in your lifetime, but the present. I.e you don't need two
       | girlfriends at once, even though you might have multiple
       | relationships throughout your life...
       | 
       | Sheesh. HN is grumpy today.
        
       | jmward01 wrote:
       | This is why having a safety net and resources to try again is so
       | powerful. Given enough chances you will make it, big. That means
       | the #1 factor in success is the number of chances you get to fail
       | and try again, not necessarily how inherently good you are. I try
       | to remind myself of this often. I have been given so many
       | chances, and I took them.
        
         | j45 wrote:
         | Well said, this is the real game to pursue. Best of continued
         | luck.
        
         | Aurornis wrote:
         | This always sounded intuitively correct to me, but looking back
         | over the past two decades basically all of the successful
         | entrepreneurs and business owners I know didn't come from
         | families with a lot of resources and didn't have much of a
         | safety net. They just went all in on their goals when they were
         | young and had many years ahead of them to start over if it all
         | went wrong.
         | 
         | Contrast this with some of the people I grew up who came from
         | wealthy families: A lot of their parents pushed them toward
         | entrepreneurship and funded their ventures, but to date I can
         | only think of one business from this cluster of friends that
         | went anywhere. When you come from such resources and wealth
         | that you don't need to succeed and you can drop the business as
         | soon as it becomes difficult, it's a different situation.
         | 
         | I don't know exactly what to make of this, other than to remind
         | myself to keep pushing through the difficult times for things I
         | really want even when I could fall back to an easy path and
         | give up.
        
           | jbs789 wrote:
           | If you don't have a fall back, you have no choice but to make
           | it work.
        
             | JustExAWS wrote:
             | Or fail miserably...
        
               | fragmede wrote:
               | Which we don't hear about. Except maybe via GoFundMe.
        
               | bbarnett wrote:
               | You know what?
               | 
               | Peter used to say, that every successful company could
               | look back at a defining moment early on, where they would
               | have died had it not been for the courage, and the
               | tenacity, and maybe the insanity of one visionary person
               | who put it all on the line, even though it seemed like a
               | huge mistake at the time.
               | 
               | A moment where all the metrics and the numbers didn't
               | mean anything.
               | 
               | It was all about the emotion. It was about belief,
               | rational or irrational.
               | 
               | And I think...
               | 
               | I hope that I just witnessed that.
        
               | raw_anon_1111 wrote:
               | On the other hand, no matter what you do, you can't
               | invest like Warren Buffett.
               | 
               | https://www.forbes.com/sites/adamhartung/2014/11/19/why-
               | you-...
               | 
               | The whole idea of succeeding by "grit" makes way too many
               | people too idealistic and unrealistic.
               | 
               | Don't get me wrong, Peter Drucker (hopefully that's the
               | Peter you are referring to) had some great actionable
               | advice. But believing in yourself and having grit is
               | about as banal as "thoughts and prayers"
        
               | anukin wrote:
               | I hope it's Peter drucker instead of Peter griffin
        
               | toss1 wrote:
               | You know what? This is indeed where courage, tenacity,
               | and risk-taking make a difference.
               | 
               | But what makes the difference in whether or not we hear
               | about it is pure luck and survivor bias.
               | 
               | If their luck was just right that with all that push in
               | the right time the deal came through or the product sold,
               | then we hear about what a great success it was, and how
               | important was their grit.
               | 
               | And many smart determined people with all the courage,
               | tenacity, and risk-taking in the world have also taken
               | the big risk, but dice did not roll their way, or the
               | hill was just so steep it didn't work, so we hear nothing
               | of them. And their number likely vastly exceeds the few
               | for whom it did work.
        
               | WalterBright wrote:
               | At one point in Tesla's path, Musk was down to a net
               | worth of $200k or so. He laid his entire fortune on the
               | line. How many of us would be willing to do that? Not me.
        
               | jdiff wrote:
               | Is that courage or ketamine? I'm not sure there's
               | anything aspirational there, or just a huge streak of
               | vanity. Just look at all the plastic surgery.
        
               | WalterBright wrote:
               | If you think taking drugs is the key to success, well,
               | it's not a path I'd try.
        
               | jdiff wrote:
               | I did say, "I'm not sure there's anything aspirational
               | there."
               | 
               | But clearly it does have a chance at success, as
               | evidenced by Elon. Or, as it always turns out, it's
               | difficult to fail anywhere but up when you're wealthy.
        
               | WalterBright wrote:
               | Always? Why aren't there more trillionaires?
               | 
               | The usual arc is the first generation makes it, the
               | second spends it, and the third is back in the middle
               | class.
               | 
               | Clearly? He's probably drunk some alcohol. Does that mean
               | alcohol is clearly the path to success?
        
               | raw_anon_1111 wrote:
               | At a young age and knowing I could easily get a job and
               | rebuild? Why not? $200K to get back is a year a two in
               | Silicon Valley just working in a tech company.
               | 
               | By 2010 with a combination of divorce and over investing
               | in real estate before the financial crisis I had a
               | negative net worth of over $200K at 36 years old and
               | absolutely no money in the bank. I really didn't stress
               | at all. They were just numbers.
               | 
               | I had a job, a home and parents who could help me out a
               | little when needed mostly for unexpected expenses because
               | my credit was also shot by 2013 with 5 foreclosures/short
               | sales.
               | 
               | At 51, remarried for 15 years and grown (step)kids and
               | working remotely, and a lot of other quality of life
               | changes, we are good.
        
               | WalterBright wrote:
               | Going from $200 million to $200 thousand in a few months
               | is a terrifying drop.
               | 
               | No, you cannot make $200m overnight from $200g.
        
               | raw_anon_1111 wrote:
               | The question was whether I would take a chance with my
               | last $200K.
        
               | WalterBright wrote:
               | Musk did. Most wouldn't.
        
               | raw_anon_1111 wrote:
               | Young and knowing your future earning potential? That's.
               | I different than paying $200K for college. That's only
               | slightly more than the average new grad makes working at
               | any of the BigTech companies their first year.
               | 
               | What else was he going to do? Hoard it in a High Yield
               | Savings account?
        
             | wat10000 wrote:
             | Cortez burning^Wscuttling his ships.
        
             | WJW wrote:
             | And if making it by hoping really really hard doesn't work,
             | try suicide or something?
        
           | zmmmmm wrote:
           | you can extend that to all Silicon Valley and the US in
           | general.
           | 
           | It has one of the weakest social security systems. Not even
           | proper healthcare is guaranteed. Yet it out innovates all of
           | Europe, Canada, Australia, other places that have incredible
           | social "safety nets".
           | 
           | I agree with the other commenter: safety nets and multiple
           | tries are always good to have, but persistence and grit are
           | even more important, and these come more from necessity.
        
             | bequanna wrote:
             | > Not even proper healthcare is guaranteed.
             | 
             | ...except it is. Health insurance is available on a sliding
             | scale based on income and essentially free for most low
             | income people.
        
               | nradov wrote:
               | Sure, although in some areas healthcare is effectively
               | unavailable to Medicaid plan members because providers
               | have stopped accepting those patients. Being insured
               | doesn't mean much if you can't schedule an appointment.
               | 
               | https://www.wsj.com/health/healthcare/medicaid-insurers-
               | doct...
        
               | agf wrote:
               | In some areas and for some people, Medicaid probably does
               | count as proper healthcare. But it certainly doesn't for
               | other people / other places. Imagine there being one
               | doctor within a multi-million person metro area who takes
               | Medicaid for some sub-specialty. 90 minutes away from you
               | by car. And you don't have a car. This is the reality for
               | millions of Medicaid recipients, including ones I know
               | personally in Chicago.
        
               | raw_anon_1111 wrote:
               | Not Medicaid, subsidized ACA. I know a lot of young
               | healthy people that just take the chance of not having
               | health care. Worse case you can't squeeze blood out of a
               | turnip if you have to go the emergency room.
               | 
               | I don't think my older (step)son has had insurance since
               | he got off our plan at 26 over two years ago.
        
             | lordnacho wrote:
             | Most of the US graduates have their degree and a network to
             | fall back on. It's nice to have actual money in the bank,
             | but it can also be acceptable to have a high chance of
             | getting a rewarding job if the moonshot doesn't work.
             | 
             | In other words, human capital.
             | 
             | Most of the entrepreneurs I meet are not going to be
             | homeless if things don't work out. They'll be employed.
        
               | raw_anon_1111 wrote:
               | Exactly this many also have parents who can help
               | subsidize them, stay on their parents health insurance
               | until they are 26 and worse case move back home. This
               | isn't just the privilege rich, this can also be your mid
               | to mid upper income couple who can help their kids out.
        
               | lordnacho wrote:
               | Yep, and most of these fallbacks are insurance-like: you
               | can always say you never asked your parents for anything.
               | Like me. Thing worked out, so I didn't need their money.
               | But if they hadn't, I would have a place to sleep and
               | eat.
        
               | userulluipeste wrote:
               | _" But if they hadn't, I would have a place to sleep and
               | eat."_
               | 
               | Forgive me for asking, but (if it's acceptable to reduce
               | it to that) isn't joining the army or something gets one
               | covered? The army service would come with the added bonus
               | of not letting you go soft in perseverance and risk
               | taking areas.
               | 
               | /sarcasm
        
             | raw_anon_1111 wrote:
             | You can have all of the "grit" you want to and still fail.
             | You just never hear about the failures.
        
             | exceptione wrote:
             | > Yet it out innovates all of Europe, Canada, Australia,
             | other places that have incredible social "safety nets".
             | 
             | Probability: highly unlikely.
             | 
             | Speaking for Europe, I see a lot of silent innovation. No
             | press, no LinkedIn posts, not an article on their website.
             | There are a lot of US firms that shop in Europe for high
             | tech. (I know of instances were the US company buys the IP
             | from the EU supplier + take public credit for it + forbids
             | the supplier for showcasing their success in public.)
             | 
             | What is different is:
             | 
             | 1) the amount of money available in the US. The US enjoyed
             | a very beneficial position post-WOII, enabling them to run
             | high deficits.
             | 
             | 2) the US has a positive attitude to entrepreneurship. You
             | are not a failure when your company goes bankrupt, you
             | learn from it and you go-go-go.
        
               | enaaem wrote:
               | Also the EU lacks a unified capital market where infinite
               | VC money can be pooled together into any new hype. I
               | would argue this the biggest reason.
        
               | userulluipeste wrote:
               | EU countries also have very high tax rates, which feels
               | like the community is the primary beneficiary of your
               | business, not you the entrepreneur. This alone severely
               | reduces the financial incentive of starting a business.
               | There's also some weird cultural stigma in the EU's more
               | socialist countries (like France), where the system is
               | way more comfortable for you as an employee rather than a
               | risk taker. Let's call a spade a spade.
        
               | enaaem wrote:
               | The way you say it, it sounds like the EU shouldn't have
               | any companies at all, but that is not true. In fact, the
               | EU is very good at boring tech, which is the reason why
               | the US is imposing high tariffs.
        
               | lanfeust6 wrote:
               | Productivity is lacking in those other countries. That
               | said, I don't think it has to do with safety net, which
               | is not much different in the U.S.
        
               | jryle70 wrote:
               | What is silent innovation? Do you think there are no
               | silent innovation in the US?
        
             | watwut wrote:
             | Europe innovates. What it creates less are large
             | monopolies. What America creates much more then Europe is
             | winner takes all markets with little competition and large
             | powerful companies on top.
        
             | ericmcer wrote:
             | Necessity is too fallible though, if Bezos was driven by
             | necessity he would have sold Amazon in 1996 and retired.
             | 
             | That level of success requires either just pure
             | psychopathic drive or some kind of deep anger that forces
             | you to keep proving yourself again and again.
             | 
             | Beyond the lack of safety nets, etc., we just have a
             | culture in the USA where you continually have to compete to
             | prove your value as an individual.
             | 
             | There was some story I read where Farmers wanted to get
             | immigrant laborers to work longer hours, so they offered a
             | temporarily increased hourly rate. Like for the next month
             | we pay $5/hr instead of just $3. The thought was workers
             | would work like mad to hoard as much of the increased rate
             | as they could. The opposite happened, they started working
             | less because they just wanted $X/month and then to relax
             | the rest of the time. That always stood out to me as a
             | stark example that our American psychology is not at all
             | universal, and is kind of perverted in certain lights.
        
           | moralestapia wrote:
           | Every single western "entrepreneur" who starts making a
           | little more than 100k/year likes to tell itself this story.
           | 
           | Did you have any (real, not GenZ) mental or physical
           | disability?
           | 
           | Did you have a house to come back to every day? Did you have
           | a hot meal waiting for you whenever you wanted?
           | 
           | Did you have a community that supported you through your
           | business?
           | 
           | Did you have a legal structure around you that allowed you
           | not to worry about getting kidnapped/killed? A structure that
           | enforces getting paid after you've earned your money?
           | 
           | 98% of what you have was given.
           | 
           | I do agree, however, that a lot of people don't even bother
           | to put in the remaining 2%.
        
             | LPisGood wrote:
             | All of those things are great and should be afforded to
             | every Person. In many places, they are.
        
             | cadamsdotcom wrote:
             | "Can you start a business without $10m of family capital"
             | is a societal question.
             | 
             | "Can you start a business on an empty stomach without a
             | roof over your head" is not the same debate. A roof over
             | your head is a prerequisite to almost everything else in
             | life - starting a business is WAY down the list. Better to
             | have societies work to provide food and roofs - which they
             | do, with varying degrees of success.
        
               | moralestapia wrote:
               | It is the exact same debate.
               | 
               | People without those things cannot play the lottery as
               | many times as those who have them. They might not even
               | get to play it once.
               | 
               | If everyone around you has all of those basic human needs
               | met, _you are the exception_.
               | 
               | But of course people don't like to hear this, because
               | their whole meritocracy myth (which has always been
               | trash) comes falling down and they might be forced to
               | admit that, please excuse me for making this outrageous
               | statement, ... you're just an average person with
               | slightly better luck than others.
               | 
               | (It is true, however, that "luck" compounds through your
               | life and even more through generations, though. But that
               | even detracts from the meritocracy myth even more, as the
               | family you're born in greatly defines what you'll
               | achieve.)
        
               | beeflet wrote:
               | I don't think anyone believes the idea of meritocracy
               | applies to starving homeless slaves.
               | 
               | Luck is often the deciding factor in meritocracy, but we
               | also make our own luck. You can have all the privleges in
               | the world and still end up as a failson, it happens all
               | the time.
        
               | userulluipeste wrote:
               | Becoming an entrepreneur happens most of the times merely
               | for advancing one's personal financial success. But,
               | another side of it, which doesn't usually get attention,
               | is that you become a beneficial factor for the society at
               | large, because you are assumed to be doing something good
               | and appreciated by others to earn that money. (Otherwise,
               | earning money without being willingly paid, would make
               | you just a criminal). You are right, this "compounds
               | through your life and even more through generations".
               | Especially through generations. This is how the
               | prosperous societies got here - people doing all sorts of
               | things that led to prosperity. If you don't not live in a
               | society like that, then your business should be building
               | a society first. Put your brick in the wall.
               | 
               | It also means that, unless the state of the environment
               | you're in has some "force majeure" as a cause, then the
               | people that were before you haven't done that of a good
               | job building one either. That's not an individual
               | failure, that's generations of failure, don't you think?
               | 
               | And lastly, if the environment you described is the one
               | you're residing in, that means you're far removed from
               | that of the entrepreneur's (you're casting judgement on)
               | and from his/her stance. How can that lead to a caracter
               | judgement worth anything?
        
               | moralestapia wrote:
               | >If you don't not live in a society like that, then your
               | business should be building a society first. Put your
               | brick in the wall.
               | 
               | Totally agree.
        
             | raw_anon_1111 wrote:
             | What's even funnier when I hear that my thought is
             | "congratulations I guess??". They are now making less than
             | an average mid level developer doing CRUD enterprise dev 3
             | years out of school in any major metro area in the US.
             | 
             | That's not even considering that the intern I mentored in
             | 2021 is now making in the low $200s as an SA at BigTech at
             | 25.
        
           | konaraddi wrote:
           | > looking back over the past two decades basically all of the
           | successful entrepreneurs and business owners I know didn't
           | come from families with a lot of resources and didn't have
           | much of a safety net
           | 
           | There's probably some truthyness to this but it doesn't
           | account for survivorship bias. And there's a baseline amount
           | of resources necessary to take a risk and be able to try
           | again (e.g., good luck taking a risk when preoccupied by
           | [lack of] health, housing, food).
        
           | enaaem wrote:
           | There is also survivor bias at play here.
           | 
           | Succeeding without safety net is hard -> only the best can do
           | it -> the best entrepreneurs you know did not had a safety
           | net
        
             | hammock wrote:
             | Then let's control for that. Among people with a decent
             | safety net, can we correlate eventual success with number
             | of tries?
             | 
             | The answer seems self evident, but idk for sure, and I
             | would like to know the Gini coefficient of successes vs
             | failures among safety netters be that of non-safety
             | netters. Wouldn't we expect the successes within the safety
             | net to be massively larger on average than those of the
             | non-safety netters, given that a safety net affords you so
             | many more swings to take? Your comment suggests that this
             | is not the case, driven by the selection/survivor effect
             | within non-safety net
        
               | lesuorac wrote:
               | I mean Gates, Musk, Bezos, etc all had a safety net.
               | 
               | Also need to define what successful means because a lot
               | of trades people are successful solo-prenuers but don't
               | make more than say a doctor.
        
               | hammock wrote:
               | Look at success in buckets. 10x , 100x, 1000x etc
        
               | jryle70 wrote:
               | In a thread about survivor bias, and you fall for the
               | same trap. How many people coming from wealthy background
               | end up failing?
               | 
               | Take Bill Gates, his father cofounded a law firm, and his
               | mother was a board members of several firms. That is a
               | very wealthy background, but not outrageously so. How
               | many people of the same level of wealth became successful
               | businesspeople? It's said that his mom being on the same
               | board as IBM's CEO at the time was a more instrumental
               | factor to his eventual success than his family's wealth,
               | and his own effort of course.
        
               | majormajor wrote:
               | > It's said that his mom being on the same board as IBM's
               | CEO at the time was a more instrumental factor to his
               | eventual success than his family's wealth, and his own
               | effort of course.
               | 
               | This sounds a lot like "his family's wealth was a more
               | instrumental factor than his family's wealth" since
               | "being on a board" is pretty rarified air. It's not
               | Gates-himself-level wealthy, but what percentile is that?
               | 90th? 95th? 99th?
        
               | sho_hn wrote:
               | > but not outrageously so
               | 
               | Compared to 99.99% of the 8.3bn people on the planet,
               | yes.
               | 
               | HN never ceases to amaze me with its conception of what
               | "wealthy and successful" means.
        
               | WalterBright wrote:
               | Gates received $5000 from his family for his business.
               | 
               | I've read accounts of Microsoft's early days. It was
               | self-sustaining very quickly.
               | 
               | I also know something about compilers and interpreters.
               | BASIC of that era was simply not difficult to create.
               | Yes, Gates & Allen had access to a PDP-10 at Harvard
               | which helped. But it was not required, as Woz proved by
               | writing Apple BASIC in a notebook and hand assembled it.
               | 
               | I also know that Hal Finney wrote a BASIC in 1978 or so
               | that fit in a 2K EPROM (for Intellivision). As I recall,
               | it didn't take him very long.
               | 
               | So no, Microsoft is simply not a result of massive
               | infusions of money. An awful lot of people had the
               | ability to create Microsoft, what they lacked was vision,
               | drive, and willingness to risk.
               | 
               | And no, Gates and Allen were not going to starve if they
               | failed, even without their parents' money.
        
               | WalterBright wrote:
               | > his mom being on the same board as IBM's CEO
               | 
               | When IBM came knocking, Bill Gates referred them to Gary
               | Kildall. Kildall (for whatever reason) muffed the deal,
               | and Gates didn't pass on that opportunity again. Gary had
               | the opportunity, and came from a middle class company. He
               | invested in his company with his own resources.
        
               | raw_anon_1111 wrote:
               | Okay can you name one successful modern day tech company
               | whose founders didn't come from money?
        
               | bluecalm wrote:
               | NVidia
        
               | raw_anon_1111 wrote:
               | Jensen Hung's father was an engineer and his mother was a
               | teacher. He wasn't going to be homeless and on the street
               | if he failed.
               | 
               | And he didn't come straight out college either. He worked
               | at AMD and I'm sure he had established some type of
               | financial foundation and I'm sure he could have easily
               | found a job if Nvidia failed with his background.
        
               | bluecalm wrote:
               | >>Jensen Hung's father was an engineer and his mother was
               | a teacher. He wasn't going to be homeless and on the
               | street if he failed.
               | 
               | So now the goalposts are "isn't desperate" while a while
               | ago it was "came from money". Having caring parents and
               | being raised in culture that value education help. No one
               | is arguing that.
               | 
               | >>And he didn't come straight out college either. He
               | worked at AMD and I'm sure he had established some type
               | of financial foundation and I'm sure he could have easily
               | found a job if Nvidia failed with his background.
               | 
               | He needed to get a job first like a average person before
               | starting his own company. Privilege!
        
               | raw_anon_1111 wrote:
               | We have been talking about a safety net this entire
               | thread and how you can make mistakes if you have one more
               | easily than if you don't
        
               | signatoremo wrote:
               | Not the OP, but I can name many: Andy Grove (Intel) ,
               | Steve Jobs (Apple), Larry Page, Sergei Brin (Google),
               | Reed Hastings (Netflix), Michael Dell (Dell).
               | 
               | They all seem to come from solidly middle or upper middle
               | class, so no poverty but not different than many of us on
               | HN.
        
               | raw_anon_1111 wrote:
               | The argument was not that you had to be rich, just that
               | you had a safety net so you could take risks and know you
               | had a fallback without being homeless and hungry.
               | 
               | But the Google cofounders specifically both had parents
               | who were early computer scientists or mathematicians
               | 
               | In all fairness, I haven't been consistent between
               | "coming from enough money that your parents can be your
               | angel investors" and "you can afford to fail and call
               | your parents for help with the rent".
        
               | signatoremo wrote:
               | Your question is naming just one not coming from money.
               | None of the people I listed did.
               | 
               | Wealthy background surely helps immensely, but other
               | factors such as environment are vital as well. Google
               | founders met at Stanford, in the heart of Silicon Valley,
               | at the height of the dotcom era. That's more important
               | than their background.
               | 
               | Being wealthy is not the most important factor to one's
               | success. 50% of US population is middle class. Even if
               | those I listed were all upper middle class, that would
               | still be perhaps 5% of US population, or millions of
               | people. Yet only a few rise to the top.
        
               | 1659447091 wrote:
               | While not a tech company founder, Oprah Winfrey created a
               | media empire. She was born to a teenage mother in rural
               | Mississippi (and poverty).
               | 
               | If someone wants a story about overcoming one's lot in
               | life through grit, hard work and making the most of
               | situations/opportunities her story is one you'll want;
               | maybe not as relatable as the Bezos, Dell, Jobs, Musk etc
               | but a story that poverty->billionaire entrepreneur can
               | happen. There is also a reason she is the only one I can
               | think of that fits description.
        
               | EGreg wrote:
               | People, it wasn't just a safety net.
               | 
               | Bezos's mom was his first investor, giving him $300K.
               | 
               | Then he also had connections to millionaires through his
               | family
               | 
               | Bill Gates' mother, Mary Gates, was instrumental in
               | securing Microsoft's first major deal with IBM through
               | her connections. His family was wealthy and provided
               | connections and support
        
               | billy99k wrote:
               | Sure, but if Bill Gates was a drug addict with no
               | software, there would have been no deal and he certainly
               | wouldn't have been successful.
               | 
               | Whenever I see the topic of success, people LOVE to talk
               | about 'survivorship bias' as a way to somehow discredit
               | the person that is successful and also give an excuse as
               | to why they might not be successful.
               | 
               | It's pretty destructive in a community that's supposed to
               | be about startups and building businesses. This is why I
               | originally came here years ago, but it seems like the
               | mindset has shifted to anti-capitalist group think.
        
               | raw_anon_1111 wrote:
               | No one is discrediting his success. It's just the banal
               | idea of if you have "grit" and work really hard, you are
               | somehow guaranteed success or even have more than a slim
               | chance.
        
               | bear141 wrote:
               | What is the other way of going about things? Assuming you
               | will fail and never trying?
        
               | raw_anon_1111 wrote:
               | Find companies that make a lot of money and convince them
               | to give you some of that money in exchange for your labor
               | if you want the best risk/reward ratio.
               | 
               | I would much rather be in the position of an intern I
               | mentored who at 22 made over $700K in gross income
               | between cash and RSUs (that could easily be converted
               | into cash unlike "equity" in private companies) their
               | first four years out of college than some struggling
               | founded trying to start yet another AI company so
               | grateful they got $200k from YC while still eating beans
               | and rice that they had to split among three founders.
        
               | rmason wrote:
               | What about Replit? Two guys in a coffee shop in Jordan,
               | you cannot be much further from Silicon Valley. They got
               | turned down four times from YC and decided never to try
               | again. But pg fell in love with the startup and urged him
               | to try again. Then during the interview one of them got
               | into a heated argument with Michael Siebel and thought
               | for sure he had failed.
               | 
               | Yet he got in without a wealthy family and an American
               | Ivy League degree. There are lots of other examples, I
               | can even think of a one in Michigan.
        
               | raw_anon_1111 wrote:
               | And how many of the thousands of YC companies have
               | disappeared in to obscurity?
               | 
               | How many of these do you think will see a successful
               | exit?
               | 
               | https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1Uy2aWoeRZopMIaXXx
               | Y2E...
               | 
               | And "raising funding" is not a successful business.
               | Having an exit where you as the founder makes an outsized
               | return is.
               | 
               | Another definition is being profitable. Any idiot can
               | sell dollars for $0.95 backed by VC's hoping to find the
               | "greater fool"
        
               | tgma wrote:
               | Bezos's mom giving Bezos 300k was more of a favor to the
               | mom, not the kid. He was already VP at DE Shaw at the
               | time.
        
               | WalterBright wrote:
               | > giving him $300K
               | 
               | Yes, and cities are filled with $300K and up houses. The
               | idea that Bezos started Amazon with unusual vast wealth
               | is wrong.
        
               | raw_anon_1111 wrote:
               | Yes. But how many can and will give their children $300K
               | in cash? Did she refinance her house and use the cash to
               | give to her son?
        
               | WalterBright wrote:
               | If you can buy a house for $300k, you can invest the
               | money instead. If you choose "house", you're going to
               | have a much harder time accumulating wealth.
               | 
               | I wish I hadn't bought a house instead of investing it
               | all in MSFT. I know people at the time who borrowed every
               | dollar they could and plowed it into MSFT. They became
               | very, very wealthy. I was too chicken. Bwaaack, cluck
               | cluck!
        
               | raw_anon_1111 wrote:
               | Or you could have invested in every YC company that went
               | public.
               | 
               | https://medium.com/@Arakunrin/the-post-ipo-performance-
               | of-y-...
               | 
               | You never hear about the people who made bad investments.
               | 
               | Or everyone who invested their life savings, refinanced
               | their house, withdrew everything from their 401K and
               | still failed.
               | 
               | If you have a paid off house you have some place to live,
               | the alternative is to be paying rent that goes up every
               | year.
               | 
               | My rent in 2016 before I had my house built was $1800. My
               | mortgage was $2300. By 2024, rent had gone up at the same
               | place to $2400. My mortgage besides property taxes and
               | insurance won't go up nearly as much[1]
               | 
               | It reminds me of people in BigTech that don't sell their
               | RSUs as soon as they vest and diversify. I make just as
               | much now in cash as I did in BigTech with the difference
               | being 40% was in RSUs. Why would I keep 40% of my income
               | in AMZN any more than I would take 40% of my cash income
               | and put in AMZN?
               | 
               | [1] Anecdotely I sold in 2024 at exactly twice the price
               | I had a built for in northern Atlanta and bought a condo
               | in state tax free central Florida for half the price.
        
               | WalterBright wrote:
               | If you don't want to take the risk, then don't do it. But
               | criticizing others who do take the risk, and succeeded,
               | isn't fair.
               | 
               | A general rule is the more risk you're willing to take,
               | the more potential for gain.
        
               | raw_anon_1111 wrote:
               | I am criticizing the idea that all it takes is "grit" and
               | if you work really hard you will succeed.
               | 
               | Thought experiment: 10 people out of college take "huge
               | risks and work really hard". A second set of 10 people
               | just get boring enterprise Dev jobs and the third set all
               | work in BigTech for 10 years. Rank the three groups in
               | the order of expected median total income over the
               | decade?
        
               | WalterBright wrote:
               | > I am criticizing the idea that all it takes is "grit"
               | and if you work really hard you will succeed.
               | 
               | Ok, but I did not suggest that.
               | 
               | Working hard is not good enough. It's necessary to work
               | at the right things - and it is hardly obvious which are
               | the right things. Taking risks is also necessary. The
               | bigger the risks, the bigger the potential gains.
               | 
               | But nothing is guaranteed.
               | 
               | Spending one's youth playing video games diminishes your
               | chances of financial success to around zero.
        
               | filoleg wrote:
               | > It reminds me of people in BigTech that don't sell
               | their RSUs as soon as they vest and diversify. I make
               | just as much now in cash as I did in BigTech with the
               | difference being 40% was in RSUs. Why would I keep 40% of
               | my income in AMZN any more than I would take 40% of my
               | cash income and put in AMZN?
               | 
               | I mean, I didn't sell my RSUs as soon as they vested,
               | because I worked for a BigTech company that I believed
               | was on the upswing, and I was willing to take that risk
               | of not selling.
               | 
               | Sure, it is an equivalent of buying those shares on your
               | own, but again, it still felt way safer (and way more
               | flexible/liquid, as I could sell my shares at any moment)
               | to me than working at a startup with extremely illiquid
               | equity. And I was already pretty much broke with no
               | safety net (my internship over the summer back then made
               | me more than my entire family combined earned in ~6
               | months; this is not an internship flex, there were plenty
               | that paid more, this is just to illustrate the gap
               | between some bigtech internship salaries and what my
               | family was making), so I was willing to take the risk.
               | 
               | The risk ended up paying off, and that BigTech company
               | went from ~$60/share to $300+/share in barely 5 years,
               | turning my initial stock grant into a lifechanging amount
               | for someone in my position. No, it isn't even close to
               | being enough to buy a house outright or retire, but it is
               | my (and my family's) safety net now. I can afford to help
               | my sister pay rent with zero "can i actually afford it"
               | thought in my mind.
               | 
               | TLDR: yes, not diversifying is risky. However, you cannot
               | make lifechanging money without taking risks, whether it
               | is through joining a promising startup or not
               | diversifying your investments or anything else. I am not
               | advocating anyone to do what I did, as I agree with you
               | that selling RSUs on vest is the most safe option. There
               | are no totally safe options for making lifechanging
               | (whatever that means for you) amounts of money, so you
               | gotta pick your poison, if that's something you want. For
               | me personally, making bigtech salary at a company that I
               | believed was on the upswing (and saving a good amount of
               | it), while keeping all vested RSUs in my account (and
               | selling no more than 5% of it each year), was an
               | acceptable level of risk (that I wouldn't regret doing,
               | even if the price of those shares ended up dying
               | significantly).
        
               | raw_anon_1111 wrote:
               | Why wouldn't you at least cash it all out and diversify
               | into all of the Big 5 then or Mag 7 now?
        
               | majormajor wrote:
               | I wouldn't assume size of success is correlated with
               | "having success or not." It's notoriously hard to predict
               | what business ideas will succeed at all, let alone be
               | mega-billion-success-stories. Many things could've gone
               | differently leading to Bezos being a ten- or hundred-
               | millionaire vs a multi-billionaire even in worlds where
               | Amazon was successful. AWS, for instance, was not in the
               | original plan.
               | 
               | I think the strongest correlations would be between:
               | 
               | "has safety net" and "has success" - one major factor
               | here is _not having a poverty mentality that would lead
               | to panicking and quitting early_
               | 
               | as well as between "has safety net" and "takes multiple
               | swings if no initial success", for the direct reason of
               | "can afford to do so."
        
               | Dylan16807 wrote:
               | Citation needed that panicking and quitting early is a
               | "poverty mentality".
        
           | Normal_gaussian wrote:
           | I've seen quite a few of these funded entrepreneur-lifestyle
           | kids now; I've worked (briefly) with many of their companies.
           | Many of them are making enough of a real go at it such that I
           | can't tell them from others, but quite a few don't know
           | enough about how a default alive business works and deliver a
           | DoA even when the core idea or a short pivot works and has
           | traction - these guys need so much better PMF to succeed.
           | 
           | The best businesses I've seen parents find for their children
           | are lettings agents (urgh) and basic manufacturing (last mile
           | door assembly etc.). You can get the business model in a six
           | month course, the staff are minimum wage, the product is high
           | margin. If your parents buy the building you are so close to
           | default alive its a joke. Grow the business, flip it, and try
           | the big idea.
        
           | hooverd wrote:
           | Well, how many non-successful entrepreneurs and business
           | owners do you know?
        
           | an0malous wrote:
           | Who are you thinking of? Bezos, Zuckerberg, Gates, Musk all
           | came from wealthy families. They all had the safety net of
           | their family wealth if their business didn't work out. Even
           | someone who had parents to pay their student loans is
           | relatively privileged, not everyone starts their 20's debt-
           | free and able to take financial risks.
        
             | wisty wrote:
             | What was Musk families net worth?
             | 
             | I hear this conspiracy theory that he's was super rich. But
             | owning a mine could mean anything from a basically bankrupt
             | speculator to the De Beers. There's claims he gave Musk
             | $28k ... that's not evena decent college fund.
        
               | wnevets wrote:
               | They had this amount of money
               | 
               | > As a result of this, the teenage Elon Musk once walked
               | the streets of New York with emeralds in his pocket. His
               | father said: "We were very wealthy. We had so much money
               | at times we couldn't even close our safe," adding that
               | one person would have to hold the money in place with
               | another closing the door. "And then there'd still be all
               | these notes sticking out and we'd sort of pull them out
               | and put them in our pockets." [1]
               | 
               | [1] https://www.independent.co.uk/space/elon-musk-made-
               | money-ric...
        
               | eru wrote:
               | That seems pretty silly. Why keep your wealth as cash in
               | a safe?
               | 
               | (And why not use a fraction of the money to buy a second
               | safe, if you really have to keep it in a safe at home.)
        
               | prerok wrote:
               | That was probably just their pocket money.
        
               | eru wrote:
               | Well, there might have been some weirdness about South
               | Africa at the time. Perhaps financial institutions had
               | some weird weaknesses.
        
               | tonyedgecombe wrote:
               | To keep it away from the tax man.
        
               | eru wrote:
               | Maybe. But wouldn't you rather hire a good accountant and
               | lawyer instead of bothering with cash at home?
        
               | tonyedgecombe wrote:
               | A good accountant or lawyer would tell you to pay the
               | taxes you can't avoid.
        
               | LanceH wrote:
               | I know nothing about this specific situation, so I'm not
               | speak to that. I am speaking to "why keep your wealth as
               | cash in a safe?"
               | 
               | I'm old enough that grandparents lived through the great
               | depression. I know they kept wealth in a safe. A lot of
               | their kids did as well. The grandparents had their gold
               | money taken away, or their cash disappeared in banks. A
               | lot of their kids followed along.
               | 
               | Being gen X, Elon has parents/grandparents that lived
               | through the great depression and world war. That along
               | with any other local factors makes keeping wealth in a
               | safe not that unusual.
        
               | wnevets wrote:
               | > That seems pretty silly. Why keep your wealth as cash
               | in a safe?
               | 
               | Was it during the apartheid boycotts?
        
               | input_sh wrote:
               | The pocket emerald story that comes before that "we were
               | very wealthy" line is even more telling. It's missing
               | from that Independent article, but that article's based
               | on this Business Insider interview:
               | https://www.businessinsider.com/elon-musks-dad-tells-bi-
               | abou...
               | 
               | > Elon, by his father's recollection then probably 16
               | years old, and his brother Kimbal, decided to sell
               | emeralds to Tiffany & Co. on Fifth Avenue in New York -
               | one of the world's most famous jewelers - as his father
               | lay sleeping. "They just walked into Tiffany's and said,
               | 'Do you want to buy some emeralds?'" Errol recalled in an
               | interview with Business Insider South Africa. "And they
               | sold two emeralds, one was for $800 and I think the other
               | one was for $1,200."
               | 
               | > A few days later the family returned to the store to
               | find that Tiffany was selling the $800 emerald, now set
               | in a ring, for $24,000 -- a markup of 30 times the price
               | Elon had received for the gem.
               | 
               | > Errol has used the story as on object lesson in how
               | retail works ever since. He was surprised but not
               | concerned by the incident, Errol says, because money was
               | plentiful.
               | 
               | > "We were very wealthy," says Errol. "We had so much
               | money at times we couldn't even close our safe."
               | 
               | So, selling-emeralds-to-Tiffany's-at-16 rich.
        
               | astura wrote:
               | From his dad's Wikipedia page:
               | 
               | >His lucrative engineering business took on "large
               | projects such as office buildings, retail complexes,
               | residential subdivisions, and an air force base." He also
               | owned an auto parts store, at least half a share in an
               | emerald mine, and even "one of the biggest houses in
               | Pretoria."[12] His ex-wife Maye's book recalls that at
               | the time of their divorce in 1979, he owned two homes, a
               | yacht, a plane, five luxury cars, and a truck.[13]
               | 
               | Elon was 8 in 1979.
        
               | darkwater wrote:
               | Only 2 homes? What a loser...
        
             | WalterBright wrote:
             | Musk took low wage jobs when he arrived in the US.
        
               | bdangubic wrote:
               | Zuckerberg's salary today is $1 :)
        
               | raw_anon_1111 wrote:
               | Is this some type of founders myth?
               | 
               | Musk left Canada at 17, went to college in the US and
               | sold is first business in 1999.
               | 
               | But I also worked at low minimum wage job at 18 at Radio
               | Shack while living at home with my parents driving the
               | car my parents bought me. I assure you if I have lost my
               | job, it wouldn't have hurt. I would just spend more time
               | hanging out with my friends and on my $4K Mac setup.
               | 
               | Musk was not going to be homeless if he failed.
        
               | WalterBright wrote:
               | Feel free to read a biography of him.
               | 
               | > Musk was not going to be homeless if he failed.
               | 
               | Right. He'd just get a job and rent an apartment.
               | 
               | I had a friend who started company after company starting
               | in high school. Some were more successful than others,
               | but he never lost his enthusiasm for the next company.
               | The last time I saw him, he was living out of a trailer
               | because he put everything he had into his next company.
               | (Sadly, he passed a few years ago from an accident.) He
               | left behind a large wake, and his memorial service was
               | packed.
               | 
               | (He grew up in poverty.)
        
               | omnicognate wrote:
               | I'm not sure what point is being made here. AIUI, Musk
               | comes from a wealthy family. Are you saying a biography
               | would say otherwise?
               | 
               | I think the point people are making about the low wage
               | jobs is that it's irrelevant. People from wealthy
               | backgrounds take low paid jobs sometimes, so having done
               | so doesn't imply he's a rags-to-riches story.
        
               | WalterBright wrote:
               | I'm saying Musk's company was not founded on family
               | wealth. Even if it was, where are all the other trillion
               | dollar companies given that lots of families have wealth?
               | 
               | > People from wealthy backgrounds take low paid jobs
               | sometimes, so having done so doesn't imply he's a rags-
               | to-riches story.
               | 
               | It does in Musk's case. Why not read a biography of him?
               | It's more interesting than speculation.
        
               | forgotoldacc wrote:
               | > Right. He'd just get a job and rent an apartment.
               | 
               | I'm not sure if you're suggesting homeless people are
               | homeless simply because they refuse to go out and get a
               | job and an apartment. But as someone who's been homeless
               | and someone who's a friend of people who've been
               | homeless, a very large number of homeless people bust
               | their asses at work. Things beyond their control go wrong
               | and they have no social safety net to fall back on.
               | 
               | Elon Musk could've vacationed barefoot in Southeast Asia
               | for 5 years and still returned to be given some executive
               | job offer, just as many other children of rich kids do.
               | Most people don't have that level of good fortune.
        
               | WalterBright wrote:
               | > Elon Musk could've vacationed barefoot in Southeast
               | Asia for 5 years and still returned to be given some
               | executive job offer, just as many other children of rich
               | kids do.
               | 
               | Except that is not what happened. He started doing menial
               | jobs in Canada. He was never given some executive job
               | offer.
        
               | hparadiz wrote:
               | > Musk was not going to be homeless if he failed.
               | 
               | I think I can safely say that about every single person I
               | know from college with most being normies. No sane parent
               | is gonna not put up their college student kid till they
               | figure out their next step.
        
               | raw_anon_1111 wrote:
               | There is a huge difference between
               | 
               | 1. "Son, here is $5000 to cover your rent, utilities and
               | food for one month while you look for another job in San
               | Francisco" and keep doing that for 6 months
               | 
               | And
               | 
               | 2. "We can't afford to help you pay your rent so you are
               | going to have to break your lease and come back home to
               | East MiddleOfNowhere Nebraska. You might be able to get a
               | job at "Big John's Fish Tackle and WordPress Shop" and
               | maintain the local church's blog.
               | 
               | I knew my parents would be able to do a cheaper version
               | of #1 s/Atlanta/SFO and s/Small town South GA/Nebraska.
               | 
               | I had a friend who I graduated with who was the oldest of
               | three or four kids and whose mom was a single mother who
               | couldn't afford to subsidize him.
               | 
               | I was able to move to Atlanta and get a lower paying job
               | as a computer operator based on an internship the year
               | before because I knew that's where I needed to be. My
               | parents did subsidize me for the first year while I
               | hustled my way to a better job through networking. I
               | couldn't have done that in small town South GA.
               | 
               | He ended up moving to a slight bigger small town on the
               | border of GA and Alabama that paid more, lower cost of
               | living and lower opportunities
        
               | yunwal wrote:
               | There's no way you didn't know anyone whose parents
               | couldn't put them up for a year. There are lots of people
               | who go to college who's parents don't have 30k spending
               | money
        
               | WalterBright wrote:
               | Putting up your son on the couch is not expensive.
        
               | raw_anon_1111 wrote:
               | And then they are in the MiddleOfNowhere Nebraska and
               | having to maybe move from where the jobs are and where
               | they can network. It is expensive to subsidize their
               | living away from home.
        
               | some_guy_nobel wrote:
               | Laughable that you believe this. Do you still after
               | seeing all the counter evidence? Do you sit back and ask
               | yourself, "I wonder if the world's richest man has a PR
               | firm, one so effective it has me working for it part time
               | spreading the lies."?
        
               | WalterBright wrote:
               | I read his biography. Which one did you read?
        
               | darkwater wrote:
               | Agiography, you mean?
        
               | some_guy_nobel wrote:
               | Of course you did, his PR team knew exactly who to market
               | it to.
        
               | WalterBright wrote:
               | What's your source of information?
        
             | bear141 wrote:
             | You can choose to think that op meant only the most
             | insanely rich billionaires. I thought they meant their
             | actual experiences with peers. Cut out the outliers and be
             | realistic and I think it's easier to understand the point
             | without the extremism. The range of what people consider
             | success is quite large.
        
               | sillyfluke wrote:
               | Yes, it's a bit forced trying to turn someone's anecdotes
               | that spur some food for thought into some kind of a
               | categoric stance.
               | 
               | They asked the parent who they were thinking of, a more
               | recent example of an "up and coming" billionaire would be
               | Palmer Luckey, whose life experience seems to be at least
               | consistent with his stance against optionality.
               | 
               | Edit: Ref
               | 
               | "A lot of my peers in the tech industry do not share this
               | philosophy ... They're always pursuing everything with
               | optionality. 'Oh, I need to be able to raise money from
               | anybody. I need to be able to sell my business in any
               | way. I need to have liquidity in any way. I need to make
               | sure that I'm not closing myself off to future romantic
               | partners. I need to make sure I've got my options open. I
               | need to make sure that I'm not going to buy a house and
               | settle down in one place and lock myself down. Oh, having
               | children. I don't know. Maybe I'm not ready to commit to
               | that path."
               | 
               | https://archive.is/BlzA9
        
               | engineer_22 wrote:
               | Puer Aeternus,,,
        
               | an0malous wrote:
               | I chose those examples because they're well known and
               | public. I asked for counter examples and no one seems to
               | be able to share any.
        
               | kelnos wrote:
               | I posted some as a reply to one of your other posts.
               | 
               | Why do we need well-known, public examples? I think it
               | would be absurd to assert that there are very few
               | successful founders that don't come from wealthy
               | families. (Just as it would be absurd to suggest there
               | are few that do come from wealthy families.)
        
             | lo_zamoyski wrote:
             | These are outliers.
             | 
             | Think of motivation. Most people who live financially
             | comfortable lives will want little more in the way of
             | wealth when balanced against risk and effort. They also
             | have something to lose. Their circumstances shift the
             | incentives.
             | 
             | Now think of the temperaments of people who chase wealth.
             | If they come from money, then the comfort they live in is
             | not going to satisfy them. If they come from financially
             | less than stellar backgrounds, they may be _more_ likely to
             | crave that kind of attainment; money is a kind of
             | unfamiliar blank canvas onto which they can project all
             | sorts of fantastic expectations (most of which are bogus).
             | And unlike the better off, they have less to lose. Add to
             | all this an inferiority complex that can compel
             | compensation behavior. They may have a tougher start
             | financially, but psychologically, they are more compelled
             | by their circumstances than their wealthier counterparts.
             | 
             | So we should avoid being reductive.
             | 
             | And we should stop reducing "success" to money.
        
               | abustamam wrote:
               | I don't think anyone in this particular thread was
               | necessarily reducing or equating success to money, they
               | were merely pointing out examples in which certain folks
               | attained financial success. The parent-most comment was
               | referring to the importance of a safety net in order to
               | get more chances (whether it's risking it to become a
               | business owner, or going back to school, or whatever your
               | definition of success is).
               | 
               | And it's true. If you have a good financial safety net
               | then you can take more chances and increase the odds that
               | your next risk will be the one that works out.
               | 
               | Of course, the most easily quantifiable definition of
               | success is usually financial, and on and off HN, it's
               | probably the most common definition of success.
               | 
               | For me myself, I'm grateful to be doing well financially.
               | I grew up in an upper middle class family. But I still do
               | want to grow my wealth. I am not going to take wild risks
               | to do so, but I'll work hard and use my current wealth
               | wisely to grow it. What will more wealth get me?
               | Financial security, freedom. It'll give my wife and me
               | the freedom to choose if we want to stay at home with the
               | kids. It'll let us easily fund their college, or whatever
               | education or path they decide to pursue. The goal isn't
               | being a billionaire. It's freedom and security.
               | 
               | I think that's success for a lot of people, and it
               | usually manifests itself as just having more money
               | because that's the first step. But it's not always the
               | end goal.
        
             | granzymes wrote:
             | Bezos' mom had him at 17, his biological father owned a
             | bike shop, and his mother remarried when Bezos was 4 to a
             | Cuban immigrant who came to the country at 16 and ended up
             | working as a petroleum engineer.
             | 
             | They wound up middle class after all that, but I certainly
             | wouldn't say Bezos came from a "wealthy family".
        
               | mattm wrote:
               | Bezos' parents lent him $250k to start Amazon. The point
               | is that by the time Bezos started Amazon they were
               | wealthy and could provide him this safety net. Not many
               | middle class families would be able to loan their kid
               | that much money.
        
               | granzymes wrote:
               | That $250k was their life's savings. They made a huge bet
               | on their son.
               | 
               | His mom took night classes while raising him so she could
               | finish her education while working to support a family.
        
               | skeeter2020 wrote:
               | isn't this an argument against the original post: that
               | the more dice rolls the greater likelihood of success?
        
               | an0malous wrote:
               | Do you have a source for that being their life savings?
               | 
               | Most of your points have nothing to do with their wealth.
               | Why would it suggest they're poor if his mom had him at
               | 17 and was taking night classes while raising him? She
               | wasn't employed, that just sounds like she herself was
               | still able to take risks beyond her means probably
               | because her father was wealthy.
        
               | kelnos wrote:
               | Do you have a source for that _not_ being their life
               | savings? It sounds like you 're just making assumptions
               | and guesses as well; if you're going to assert Bezos came
               | from wealth in the first place, you have to back that up.
               | Perusing the "early life" section of Bezos' Wikipedia
               | page doesn't suggest to me that he came from money, at
               | least. But I don't see anyone on either side of the
               | argument presenting anything beyond that.
        
               | an0malous wrote:
               | > Do you have a source for that not being their life
               | savings?
               | 
               | I mean there are many sources that talk about the $300k
               | he received from his family to start Amazon, it's a
               | famous story. None of those sources mention that it was
               | his family's life savings. I don't really know how to
               | provide a source that says it _wasn 't_ his family's life
               | savings, but I also can't provide a source that says he
               | wasn't an alien from Zeta Reticula. This is generally the
               | problem with proving a negative and why the onus is
               | usually on the person making a positive assertion.
               | 
               | > if you're going to assert Bezos came from wealth in the
               | first place, you have to back that up.
               | 
               | I did, I'm saying that a family that can give their son
               | $300k to start a business in 1993 is wealthy. That would
               | be about $674k today.
        
               | altmanaltman wrote:
               | okay but $250k is still $250k right? Most people in the
               | world, for most parts of the world, don't see that kind
               | of money in an entire lifetime of work. Most people think
               | privilege means a trust fund, but a $250k loan of US
               | dollars (life-savings or not) is also a privilege that
               | most people don't have.
        
               | datavirtue wrote:
               | Yep, my father, with no business training or college was
               | funded by my grandfather and was in business for years,
               | decades. He ultimately failed without any savings and
               | died in poverty. Being a small business owner was the
               | only job he ever had.
        
               | lisbbb wrote:
               | My grandfather was similar--he was the first one to leave
               | the farm life and tried several different careers and
               | businesses. He worked for a railroad, was a realtor,
               | owned a lumber yard, and lastly owned a delicatessen. The
               | lumber yard nearly destroyed the entire family because he
               | would sell on credit and then contractors failed to pay
               | up on time. It was a huge disaster and the the thing is,
               | this was way before the Home Depot national type chains
               | or the "84 Lumber" regional type chains and if he had had
               | any business acumen at all, he could have been the
               | franchise. People don't know what they don't know.
               | Anyways, my dad worked for my grandfather for free for
               | several years and screwed up his life quite a bit doing
               | so in order to "save the family" and I think my dad has
               | told me this damn story every single time I have called
               | him on the telephone for at least the past 30 years. His
               | complex over the whole situation must be enormous!
               | 
               | This is why I never started a business myself. I figured
               | it was a family curse to fail at business.
        
               | an0malous wrote:
               | Bezo's maternal grandfather worked for the Department of
               | Energy and owned a ranch in Texas. They were wealthy
               | enough to have $300k to give to Jeff in 1993.
        
             | ericmcer wrote:
             | Yeah they aren't like, outlier wealthy though. They all had
             | lawyer/doctor/banker parents.
             | 
             | If having your student loans paid off for you is enough,
             | then there are 10s of millions of people in their shoes.
             | Why did they not succeed if that is what it takes?
        
               | skeeter2020 wrote:
               | >> Why did they not succeed if that is what it takes?
               | 
               | short answer: it's might be necessary but not sufficient.
               | 
               | Alex Honnold, the rock climber with some pretty
               | spectacular solo / speed ascents was asked why no-one
               | else has free soloed El Cap, replied "it's hard." he
               | spent a lot of time (years) building up to it and
               | finishing other routes, and no one else has taken these
               | first steps yet. He goes on that they may have the talent
               | or disposition, but not the motivation or an experience
               | that pushes them in another direction. His perspective
               | (similar to general outlier success) is others will do it
               | but it takes a bunch of things all coming together,
               | including luck.
               | 
               | https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yDTg4P9ZdP4
        
               | an0malous wrote:
               | I didn't say they need to be outlier wealthy, I'm
               | disagreeing with the assertion that it just takes focus
               | and grit to be successful. I agree with the initial
               | comment that it has more to do with how many chances you
               | get to take, and being able to take chances throughout
               | your 20's is a relatively rare and privileged
               | opportunity. Most people need to find gainful employment
               | immediately after college, they can't take 5-10 years
               | making no money on long shot bets.
               | 
               | Where are you getting the figure that there are 10's of
               | millions of college grads in their 20's with no debt?
               | There are only 2 million undergraduate grads in the US
               | every year. I think you're probably off by a couple
               | orders of magnitude.
        
               | spixy wrote:
               | Contacts.
               | 
               | Bill Gates mother worked with IBM CEO. Without her maybe
               | IBM would choose other company than Microsoft.
        
             | bartread wrote:
             | > Who are you thinking of?
             | 
             | It's pretty clear that @Aurornis is talking about people
             | they know personally. They literally mention that they're
             | talking about people they grew up with.
             | 
             | Whereas you are talking about a completely different group
             | of people: Bezos, Zuckerberg, Gates, Musk are the
             | survivorship bias set.
             | 
             | You're talking at cross purposes with the person you're
             | responding to.
        
               | izacus wrote:
               | Why would anyone base their debate on "people they
               | know"?!
               | 
               | What kind of conversation is worth having with someone
               | who doesn't understand observation bias and has a main
               | character complex?
        
             | kelnos wrote:
             | Those people you mention may be examples of the exception,
             | not the rule. Certainly many new businesses work out when
             | they are founded by someone from a wealthy family; it would
             | be strange if that was _never_ the case.
             | 
             | But maybe it's more common that successful businesses are
             | started by founders coming from more modest means. Page &
             | Brin, and Jobs & Wozniak come to mind (none came from poor
             | families, but they weren't rich either). I'm sure there are
             | many other examples, and those are just the famous ones;
             | there are many successful companies started by people we've
             | never heard of.
        
               | lisbbb wrote:
               | You really need to be connected and have resources to
               | succeed or the machinery will eat you alive.
        
           | wat10000 wrote:
           | I'd expect it to stratify based on the kind of business.
           | 
           | Typical small businesses (plumbing, HVAC, restaurants,
           | convenience stores) I'd expect to come from poorer families.
           | These businesses are a potential avenue to success without
           | traditional credentials, and they're not the sort of thing
           | somebody is likely to start as a passion.
           | 
           | From wealthy families, I'd expect vanity businesses. There
           | wouldn't be as much motivation for the annoying aspects of a
           | real business. And anyone who is interested in business can
           | probably get a nice start in something their family owns or
           | has a major stake in.
           | 
           | Moonshot companies I'd expect to come from the upper middle
           | class, children of doctors and such. Not fabulously wealthy,
           | so the potential for making millions can still be a big
           | motivator. But comfortable enough to get advanced schooling
           | and be willing to aim big with a chance of failure, rather
           | than going for something mundane you know is always in
           | demand, like fixing pipes.
           | 
           | Off the top of my head, Gates, Page, and Zuckerberg all fit
           | that mold.
        
           | nrhrjrjrjtntbt wrote:
           | Would be interesting to run the priors on this and say what
           | is the probability of startup success given "rich" "middle
           | class" and "poor".
           | 
           | Otherwise maybe more poor people try startups so success will
           | be biased towards them (rich will take over daddy or mommy
           | business... maybe take a shot at a startup for fun but say
           | meh lets try the business, plus there are waaaaay fewer
           | rich).
           | 
           | Or to put it another way: Most people who live >100 are also
           | from modest backgrounds too. As are olympic gold winners. Us
           | paupers are the best!
        
           | satvikpendem wrote:
           | This is literally survivorship bias. All the _successful_
           | ones you know of, because the unsuccessful ones failed, by
           | definition.
        
           | NoLinkToMe wrote:
           | Good to share, but n=1 I suppose. For me (also n=1) it's the
           | opposite in my circle. The ones without resources never went
           | anywhere and reproduced their parents' class. The ones with
           | resources that went into entrepreneurship (and had the
           | possibility of failing and still being fine) are the most
           | successful.
           | 
           | Agreed on your final point though! Tenacity probably is the
           | biggest driver.
        
           | directevolve wrote:
           | If most successful entrepreneurs are from ordinary
           | backgrounds, one explanation is that most entrepreneurs,
           | successful or unsuccessful, are from ordinary backgrounds.
           | Another is that wealthy families might be pushing kids into
           | entrepreneurship who lack the talent or taste for it.
        
           | aprilthird2021 wrote:
           | Is this statistically true or just your experience? I'd be
           | very surprised if it was more than just anecdotal.
           | 
           | > They just went all in on their goals when they were young
           | and had many years ahead of them to start over if it all went
           | wrong.
           | 
           | Lots of well-resourced kids do this and more can do this. By
           | the law of averages they should be overrepresented in
           | successes here.
           | 
           | > When you come from such resources and wealth that you don't
           | need to succeed and you can drop the business as soon as it
           | becomes difficult, it's a different situation.
           | 
           | Does needing to succeed make businesses succeed? I don't
           | think so, tbh.
        
           | HWR_14 wrote:
           | When did you meet the successful entrepreneurs and business
           | owners? Because unless you met them when they were starting
           | out survivorship bias would account for that.
        
           | keepamovin wrote:
           | That's kind of true. If you have a safety net, you kind of
           | make the wrong decisions, optimize stuff that doesn't cut
           | through the noise and leave something on the track. It's like
           | that scene in Dark Knight Rises where he only makes the
           | impossible jump out of the prison when he doesn't have the
           | safety rope.
        
           | bear141 wrote:
           | The defeatist attitude in the reply's to this comment are
           | unreal. Try hard or don't. It's up to you. At least with the
           | one way you might have a chance.
        
             | yoz-y wrote:
             | Most attempts fail and if you get into debt you don't get
             | to try again.
             | 
             | I agree that it takes a special kind of person to try and
             | try again, but it clearly is not for everyone.
             | 
             | A lot has to come together, you need to be alone, have a
             | very supportive partner or be a sociopath (willing to drag
             | your family down with you). You need to be in the right
             | place (or have the means to move there). This usually works
             | when you are young, so definitely having starting capital
             | from somewhere works. This was much easier in the marking
             | moments of technology where any simple tool or game could
             | be transformed into cash. Nowadays you really need to luck
             | out.
             | 
             | Europe has generally better safety net and much less
             | entrepreneurship spirit for example. So it pushes both
             | ways.
             | 
             | I guess one last thing is this weird thing in the US where
             | investors somehow like people who previously failed. Like
             | Elizabeth Holmes who reportedly went from prison right back
             | into the game. With that environment of course it makes
             | sense to just try again.
        
             | aprilthird2021 wrote:
             | Acknowledging reality isn't defeatist. It's very likely
             | that successful entrepreneurs statistically do come from
             | richer families. We shouldn't ignore this fact because it's
             | more fun and emotionally rewarding to us to pretend
             | otherwise
        
             | zamadatix wrote:
             | Acknowledging e.g. people who grow up in multilingual
             | households usually have an easier time learning a new
             | language than someone who didn't shouldn't just be about
             | what decision an individual should make for themselves,
             | it's about identifying what stimulates that kind of growth
             | so we get more of that success overall. I.e. making a
             | decision or not to go for the chance myself is a different
             | topic than trying to find ways to increase the chances for
             | everyone.
             | 
             | Economic growth is not a 0 sum game so why talk about the
             | situations around it from only an individual gain
             | perspective. If a lot of individuals are saying some
             | situational factor makes the choice unreasonably hard then
             | that's something worth focusing on rather than dismissing.
        
           | haritha-j wrote:
           | Reminds me of the whole you can only succeed when you don't
           | have the reassurance of a safety net weighing you down idea
           | from dark knight rises.
        
           | nosianu wrote:
           | > _over the past two decades basically all of the successful
           | entrepreneurs and business owners I know_
           | 
           | This very much sounds like survivorship bias to me.
           | 
           | But more importantly, I think the discussion is going off the
           | track. The important ones are the 0.1%, not the 1% or 10%.
           | The "normal" millionaire business owner usually actually
           | worked for it (unless they are pure finance or something
           | similar). They are also not the ones shifting a whole
           | country's politics with their enormous influence. They don't
           | have any over-inflated influence over anything. They are not
           | the problem.
           | 
           | But they also don't serve as examples for the masses, because
           | that would be confusing " _anyone_ can do this " with "
           | _everyone_ can do this " - their successes don't scale. You
           | can only have that many successful businesspeople and
           | entrepreneurs, the majority must be their worker bees by
           | necessity.
           | 
           | I see such discussions as distractions. If you talk about
           | normal entrepreneurship you will not get to the core of our
           | problems, not at the very top (the super rich), not at the
           | bottom (why are so many so poor).
           | 
           | If you want to come up with an idea that works at scale you
           | can't use one that only works for some no matter what. If you
           | want to come up with a solution for the enormous imbalances
           | looking at those normal entrepreneurs does not help either.
           | 
           | I suggest to develop an instinct to use in these kinds of
           | discussions: For every concrete example, imagine it at scale.
           | Thinking at individual examples when you talk about big
           | things is a mismatch. Those examples are only useful if you
           | use them to extrapolate upwards, what would actually happen
           | if everybody did this?
        
             | renewiltord wrote:
             | If the most important factor in survivorship is number of
             | chances you can take; and the number of chances is
             | proportional to how much wealth you have; then the
             | survivorship bias should go the other way. Otherwise it's
             | overwhelmed by something else, perhaps the sheer ratio of
             | the differing populations.
        
           | lumb63 wrote:
           | I believe we all intuitively push whatever our advantages
           | are, often without even knowing it. The advantage that the
           | wealthy have are connections, capital, and familial support.
           | These advantages lend themselves to activities such as
           | starting businesses with high capital requirements,
           | accumulating assets ("investing"), working through elite
           | colleges to land a prestigious position, heading a
           | philanthropy or charity, etc.
           | 
           | That advantage comes with a disadvantage. Because the wealthy
           | do not have to work to earn their start, they never learn
           | what hard work is capable of producing, and never build the
           | "when the going gets tough, the tough get going" habit. What
           | they have in money, they lack in grit. When they are faced
           | with a challenge, they habitually say "what can I buy to
           | solve this problem?", "who can I consult to help me with this
           | problem?", etc.
           | 
           | Contrast that with folks who are working class. They know
           | that they don't have the advantage of money. They learn that
           | hard work is the behavior that yields the best outcome. They
           | put themselves in fields where what you get is proportional
           | to what you put in, such as the trades, where working long,
           | hard hours can generate quite good income.
           | 
           | When folks who were raised working class are faced with
           | adversity, they handle the situation like Boxer from Animal
           | Farm: "I will work harder". It's what they know how to do.
           | While they don't have copious sums of money to fall back on,
           | or other natural advantages, their own work ethic is one of
           | the few things that cannot be taken away from them, and so
           | they leverage that.
           | 
           | That advantage also comes with disadvantages. Someone who
           | works very hard will likely be overly self reliant. They
           | might not get as much done as they could have had they spread
           | the load across other people. They might burn themselves out,
           | injure themselves, work to the exclusion of all other goals
           | in life, etc.
           | 
           | These are vast generalizations that obviously won't hold in
           | all circumstances, but I think it's useful to illustrate the
           | point. People use the tools at their disposal, whether that
           | be money or otherwise. Those strategies all have advantages
           | and disadvantages. The net result of those is likely visible
           | in the outcomes of various people, I'd bet.
        
           | ineedasername wrote:
           | Of the people, did any fail?
           | 
           | If so, this is one of the questions that matters most when
           | assessing whether or not there was a safety net-- in failing,
           | did they either wind up at the destitute/homeless/food-bank
           | level, or a mountain of unpaid debt holding back future
           | endeavors?
           | 
           | If the ones who met with failure didn't face these things or
           | something comparable then they did have safety nets.
        
           | skeeter2020 wrote:
           | I also disagree with the GP (with the definitive explanation;
           | it's probably at least partially true), but this:
           | 
           | >> basically all of the successful entrepreneurs and business
           | owners I know didn't come from families with a lot of
           | resources and didn't have much of a safety net.
           | 
           | is not statisically accurate; you're only looking at
           | survivors. The successful Gates/Zucks/Musks might outnumber
           | the poor Indian kids; we need both the failure counts and
           | some sort of qualitive definition of success/failure (i.e. a
           | rich-kid failure is probably not life destroying)
        
           | bobmcnamara wrote:
           | Growing up I thought that my family was rich because my
           | parents were still together, we owned a home with a
           | foundation with help from the bank, and my family was clean.
           | It turns out the bar was real low in my hometown.
           | 
           | "...didn't come from families with a lot of resources and
           | didn't have much of a safety net" As someone who grew up
           | considered both a dirt poor hick by the city slickers and
           | simultaneously a carpet-baggin outsider, this is often a
           | relative perspective, how do we calibrate against a larger
           | population?
           | 
           | These are the sorts of things I picked up on growing up:
           | Could they go to college if they wanted to? Did their parents
           | go to college? Did they live homeless, apartments, trailers,
           | multi family, single family homes, McMansions? 0/1/2 parents
           | around?
           | 
           | I suspect HackerNews may have some survivorship bias compared
           | to national averages, (and especially where I grew up).
        
         | fragmede wrote:
         | That sounds good, but with a safety net, are you really going
         | to be hungry enough to make sure your one shot at getting out
         | of the ghetto doesn't fail? The entrepreneur that says to
         | themselves, if this doesn't work, I'll just ask mom for another
         | $300k at St Barts over Christmas doesn't sound like the one
         | sleeping under the desk at the office to get the demo ready for
         | TechCrunch Disrupt. Or maybe they are (to prove daddy wrong).
         | The human condition contains multitudes.
        
           | ikiris wrote:
           | Ahh yes, classic HN: "People only succeed/work hard if their
           | only other option is death"
        
             | saimiam wrote:
             | My wife and I are starting to test this theory. We are
             | putting our kid in an expensive school, then starting a
             | business to support our lifestyle. If we fail, our kid'll
             | have to go to a cheaper school and we'd have lost a few
             | years of school fees. If we succeed, yay.
             | 
             | By the time, our are faced with the choice, our kid will be
             | embedded in school so ripping them out of it is going to be
             | a tough choice.
             | 
             | So, yeah, we're essentially burning our boats and fighting
             | to survive.
        
               | ipaddr wrote:
               | Don't live above your means because an unexpected event
               | is likely to happen. Plus creating a situation where all
               | peers are rich and only your kid is not doesn't open the
               | doors to future success compared to if they were at their
               | peers lifestyle level.
        
               | saimiam wrote:
               | We grappled with this too but in the end, our decision
               | was influenced by our parents choosing to live beyond
               | their means to put us through good schools and college.
               | If they could grit their teeth and sacrifice for us, we
               | can do the same for the next generation.
               | 
               | Our choice us somewhat made easier because we didn't like
               | any of the schools near us except this one. The others
               | were focused on exams/results and were larger in size so
               | felt more "corporate".
        
               | artur_makly wrote:
               | I too have made this choice with my family.. and its one
               | hell of a positive force-factor. My mom immigrated from
               | Kiev, with nothing and a dream for her son to have a
               | better life in NYC. Im now taking the same risks as a
               | 5-time entrepreneur..now living in Buenos Aires as a
               | single dad. Enjoy the ride - its short - live your dream
               | - steer your ship or it will be steered for you.
        
               | saimiam wrote:
               | More power to both of us!
        
           | ericjmorey wrote:
           | Gates, Bezos, Buffet, Musk all had enough hunger to beat out
           | literally everyone else
        
             | raw_anon_1111 wrote:
             | And they also all came from money.
        
           | flag_fagger wrote:
           | > doesn't sound like the one sleeping under the desk at the
           | office to get the demo ready for TechCrunch Disrupt
           | 
           | For what? Their garbage SaaS that barely works and is just a
           | thin veneer for advertisers to gorge on my data?
        
         | clichessuck wrote:
         | That's a cliche and it sucks. A safety net and family resources
         | correlate with nothing related to entrepeneurship and risk
         | taking.
        
           | raw_anon_1111 wrote:
           | This is definitely not true. How many people for instance can
           | go into journalism and do unpaid internships without family
           | support?
           | 
           | The entire idea of most entrepreneurs pulling themselves up
           | by their bootstraps in tech is a myth. Out of all of major
           | tech companies now, how many of the founders came from
           | disadvantaged backgrounds?
        
           | augusto-moura wrote:
           | Safety net and resources correlates heavily in almost all
           | aspects of your life, having a better life helps immensely in
           | any project you do in your life, including entrepreneurship
        
           | 1659447091 wrote:
           | > A safety net and family resources correlate with nothing
           | related to entrepeneurship and risk taking
           | 
           | You might be on to something, just look at the examples here.
           | Being successful in tech and a well-known risk taker seems
           | strongly related to having a 4-5 letter last name. Bezos,
           | Brin, Dell, Gates, Page, Jobs, Musk, Thiel...Zuckerberg, okay
           | an outlier, but everyone just says Zuck -- so tossup? _/ s_
        
         | ryandrake wrote:
         | It's like a baseball game. Most people are benched their whole
         | lives. They never get a chance at the plate. More privileged
         | people with a lucky combination of the right family, the right
         | education, the right timing, and the right opportunity get an
         | at-bat, and they'll either strike out, or hit the ball. A few
         | very lucky people will get to stand at the plate maybe once or
         | twice more.
         | 
         | The wealthy get infinite at-bats. They get to stand at the
         | plate for however long they want, and swing and swing until
         | they get their home run. I worked with a founder like this. He
         | would always talk about his business's humble beginnings,
         | starting from a garage and so on--you know the story. What he
         | would neglect to admit was this was like his 7th try. Every
         | time he failed, he'd just chill on his family's couch, dreaming
         | up his next startup idea.
        
           | 1659447091 wrote:
           | I think it was _Outliers_ (Malcolm Gladwell) that talked
           | about a similar concept as well. Ignoring the 10k hour thing,
           | it also talks abut small compounding advantages that later
           | add up to more opportunity (for those that take it).
           | 
           | To go with the sports analogy, (paraphrasing, been awhile
           | since I read it) it mentions how birth date coinciding with
           | the youth sport season was a strong determiner of success at
           | that sport because being ~11 months older in the same age
           | group meant they were bigger faster more experienced and
           | would be played more, compounding increases in skill.
           | 
           | There was also a similar concept floating around about darts,
           | where the poor get maybe one dart to throw, middle class a
           | few and wealthier get many. But I can't remember where I saw
           | or read that
        
             | avensec wrote:
             | Thanks for the book mention. Adam Grant also talks about
             | the age-group concept, but leans on it for a different end,
             | in _Hidden Potential_.
        
               | 1659447091 wrote:
               | The description sounds like a part 2 or updated
               | approach/angle to _Mindset_ (Carol Dweck), a book that
               | made a changing impact when I first read it, but reading
               | the updated edition years later left me wanting more. I
               | had also read a couple of Adam Grant 's earlier books and
               | enjoyed them, will definitely check out _Hidden
               | Potential_.
        
             | Fnoord wrote:
             | Baseball isn't popular world-wide. The most popular game
             | here is football (that sport which USA calls soccer).
             | 
             | Darts would be a funny way to make the analogy. It is very
             | much a sport performed by people from the low class, since
             | it is relatively easy to perform and practice in pubs. But
             | you still need to have some money to buy a beer at a pub,
             | ie. it ain't the homeless playing. The most poor people can
             | barely afford their rent, and work off their ass doing so.
             | Single mother with three jobs has near 0% to start a
             | successful business.
        
               | itsalwaysgood wrote:
               | I'm not sure why analogies are needed.
               | 
               | There's an old saying: Time is money. Flip that around:
               | Money is time.
               | 
               | If you have money, you have more time, more opportunities
               | to try things in order to find success.
               | 
               | You can read all about how to play an instrument, or how
               | a bike works, but you'll never learn to ride or play
               | without time to practice.
        
         | raw_anon_1111 wrote:
         | This is not true. No matter how many different teams I try out
         | for, I as a 51 year old short male with a limp will never be a
         | star basketball player or ever make it to even the D leagues.
         | 
         | There are plenty of people who tried repeatedly to "succeed" in
         | their own company and failed. Let's say I did try to start my
         | own company at 22 10x and spent 3 years at each one. I'm now 52
         | and would have been better off just working those 30 years and
         | saving and investing with a lot less stress
        
           | busymom0 wrote:
           | I think the level of success one wants also require having a
           | check for delusion and realism. If a "51 year old short limp"
           | thinks they are going to be a star basketball player, they
           | are delusional and no longer realistic.
        
             | raw_anon_1111 wrote:
             | How many people right here on HN have you seen over the
             | years who built something and had no idea about marketing
             | or a go to market strategy or knew anything about sales?
             | 
             | That's the equivalent of a 51 year old with a limp not
             | being self aware enough to know that I don't have the
             | skills to be a basketball player just because I can
             | dribble.
        
             | nosianu wrote:
             | So you agree with the parent commenters actual point and
             | counter-example, great!
        
           | ipaddr wrote:
           | You as a short 51 year old could create your own league. Be a
           | star. But no you cannot play in other leagues with younger
           | players.
        
             | raw_anon_1111 wrote:
             | See my other comment about being able to create a product
             | and not having a go to market strategy or sales is like
             | thinking just because I can dribble doesn't mean I would
             | succeed in the NBA.
        
           | KronisLV wrote:
           | > Let's say I did try to start my own company at 22 10x and
           | spent 3 years at each one. I'm now 52 and would have been
           | better off just working those 30 years and saving and
           | investing with a lot less stress.
           | 
           | Some people would succeed eventually, others wouldn't. I
           | think it's really hard to effectively gauge what the chances
           | are cause you'll see a lot of survivorship bias and a bunch
           | of grifters with courses and blogs and stuff that try to pass
           | it off as a reproducible skill.
           | 
           | I wonder what dataset would show real world outcomes well,
           | especially since failed startups won't be catalogued as well
           | as people trying to enter the dining business and most of
           | them going under.
        
             | raw_anon_1111 wrote:
             | At 52, how large would my success have to be to make up for
             | all of the years and compounding I could have made just
             | working at a 9-5?
        
               | KronisLV wrote:
               | Depends on the 9-5 and the country you work in.
               | 
               | If you'd work for decades in the Baltics, let's not even
               | assume just software development, in absolute terms you
               | wouldn't make that much: the median salary is below 2k
               | EUR per month, the taxes also make a dent, as do the
               | expenses.
               | 
               | You can look at the mean disposable income figures for
               | Latvia here, for example: https://data.stat.gov.lv/pxweb/
               | en/OSP_PUB/START__POP__MI__MI...
               | 
               | Effectively, the savings rate for most of the households
               | is pretty bad: https://eng.lsm.lv/article/economy/economy
               | /23.11.2023-latvia...
               | 
               | So with living relatively frugally and having 1000 EUR of
               | disposable income per month, and a similarly optimistic
               | savings rate of 5%, each month you'd be able to put away
               | about 50 EUR, or 600 EUR per year. You can calculate how
               | that might compound with investments but you're putting
               | away 6k per decade.
               | 
               | Obviously it's better for software developers, but there
               | might also be unexpected expenses along the way, and so
               | on but the overall trajectory is clear - depending on the
               | life circumstances, working a 9-5 will ensure you live
               | pretty poorly and that might lead to higher risk
               | tolerance for entrepreneurship (or crime, go figure).
               | 
               | As for those born (or living) in a prosperous country,
               | good for you! The equation shifts there a whole bunch, as
               | well as depending on class or other opportunities.
        
         | LPisGood wrote:
         | Out of curiosity (not accusation, I promise) how did you make
         | it?
        
         | nine_k wrote:
         | If your energy is finite (which is normally the case), the
         | effect may also depend on the energy per shot you spend. A
         | birdshot allows you to hit great many possible targets, but
         | only very weakly. A buckshot hits fewer targets, but packs a
         | bit more punch. A FMJ bullet shot from a sniper rifle allows
         | you to hit an exact target with a great force, but you have to
         | choose carefully.
         | 
         | What worked for me best was looking around a lot, identifying a
         | few worthy targets, and aiming well.
        
         | jandrewrogers wrote:
         | The key ingredient is the courage to try, not the safety net.
         | Countries lauded for their strong safety nets are not
         | overflowing with people taking ambitious risks. Often quite the
         | opposite; the strong safety net reflects a cultural aversion to
         | risk.
         | 
         | People with the courage to try don't need a safety net to do
         | it. In practice they seem to be almost inversely correlated.
         | 
         | An important aspect not mentioned is feeling like you will be
         | adequately rewarded if your calculated risks pay off. This
         | seems to be more pertinent than safety nets in practice.
        
           | raw_anon_1111 wrote:
           | Look at the founders of the top 100 most valuable companies
           | in the US. How many of them came from poverty?
        
           | musebox35 wrote:
           | That is insightful. Courage to take risks means higher
           | standard deviation in outcomes, more visible successes, but
           | also more hard failures. Risk averse cultures have more
           | stable outcomes, no big successes, but also less financially
           | crippling failures. A personal or social safety net may or
           | may not make you risk averse. Taking semi-calculated risks
           | seems like a skill that needs to be learned for successful
           | entrepreneurship.
        
         | ekianjo wrote:
         | > This is why having a safety net and resources to try again is
         | so powerful.
         | 
         | The idea of a safety net is a silly idea. The whole world had
         | very little safety net just 100 years ago, and we still managed
         | fine to make progress and to get out of poverty (on average).
         | 
         | On the contrary, when you know you have very little safety net,
         | you tend to try harder and to persevere a lot more.
        
           | blharr wrote:
           | > The idea of electricity is a silly idea. The whole world
           | had very little electricity just 100 years ago. and we still
           | managed fine to make progress
           | 
           | This is just an argument from tradition and not even a good
           | one. It's debatable (and maybe impossible to prove) if it's
           | even true. 100 years ago, the global economy fell into a huge
           | decline that led to more global safety nets. Then, were there
           | even less safety nets 50 years ago? And did that lack of
           | existence not hinder progress?
           | 
           | > you tend to try harder
           | 
           | Is there any actual evidence for this? If I don't have a
           | social net, I can't do anything about it. I'm not going to
           | try harder at my risky, innovative product. I'm going to give
           | up and do something 'safe' that only marginally increases
           | economic output.
        
           | BeFlatXIII wrote:
           | Would you like a golden sticker?
        
         | mantas wrote:
         | If safety net was the key ingredient, European startups should
         | killing it. And yet US without a safety net is doing so much
         | better.
        
         | ido wrote:
         | not necessarily how inherently good you are
         | 
         | That said, being inherently good also helps. I know (several)
         | people who knocked it out of the park with literally their
         | first attempt out of university in their early 20s. It wasn't
         | just luck, they are genuinly unusually talented.
        
           | blharr wrote:
           | Sure, but this argument will never mention those that were
           | just as good that failed. Simply to selection bias.
        
         | baxtr wrote:
         | You need to have the money, the energy, and patience to
         | experiment until you get it right.
         | 
         | Money: do it while you're young and don't need a lot. Or get
         | first rich. Or collect enough money on a dream.
         | 
         | Energy: again being young helps. Having 2 smalls kids and old
         | parents doesn't.
         | 
         | Patience: that's the more esoterical part. It's hard to know
         | when to keep on grinding and when to quit.
        
         | lazy_afternoons wrote:
         | Completely Agree.
         | 
         | Both Romans and Mongols have lost/retreated many battles. They
         | just had to regroup and raise another army over and over again.
         | Some of their opponents could not even afford the war even
         | after winning over them multiple times.
         | 
         | The other sides simply were more fragile, where you were
         | defending and once your city falls, you are done.
         | 
         | Avoid risk of ruin. Keep the ability of taking multiple shots
         | with upside in your favor.
        
         | breppp wrote:
         | It's interesting how the American narrative changed from "hard
         | work will make you succeed" to "only privilege will make you
         | succeed".
         | 
         | I think the newer iteration is just setting the country for
         | failure and is an excuse why being lazy is okay
        
           | gota wrote:
           | How is (the assumption one needs) trying multiple times
           | "lazier" than once?
        
             | breppp wrote:
             | The underlying subtext if I read it correctly is I had a
             | lot of chances because I was lucky to be born into a
             | specific background
             | 
             | when you start subscribing to determinism (i was ordained
             | by my parents to succeed), the logical next step is not to
             | try hard
        
         | ericmcer wrote:
         | I dunno... based on having worked for ~10 small to midsize
         | companies now and getting to interact frequently with the
         | founders at almost all of them, I wouldn't say a safety net was
         | the common thread.
         | 
         | They were however all highly driven, a bit sociopathic,
         | insanely confident and had some kind of chip on their shoulder.
         | A few wanted to "beat daddy", some had wealthy wives and wanted
         | to fit in with their in-laws, and others just seemed mad at
         | something or someone in their industry and wanted to outdo
         | them.
         | 
         | The #1 factor for success imo is being angry with reality and
         | being arrogant enough to think you should impose your will on
         | it. People who are given infinite chances will just fail a few
         | times and settle into a safe life.
        
         | skeeter2020 wrote:
         | Not sure I 100% agree. First: you can temper you ambition and
         | thus the risk. You do not need to go ALL IN for almost
         | anything. It may take longer or be fractional vs. the initial
         | ambitions but probably also far more realistic. Second: the
         | counter example of succeeding because you NEED to; the "burn
         | the ships!" approach. If you know you can fail it inevitably
         | tempers your efforts too. You might not want to do this if
         | you're the sole bread winner for an entire family, but when
         | you're young and independent? Maybe. Combine this with the
         | first and I think there's lots of paths to success.
        
       | stego-tech wrote:
       | Needed this today. Apparently the HN hive mind agreed.
       | 
       | All it takes, is for one to work out.
        
       | throwaway150 wrote:
       | I thought HN is supposed to upvote articles that gratifies one's
       | intellectual curiosity. Does this article gratify intellectual
       | curiosity? I don't understand why these shallow feel-good
       | articles devoid of any intellectual curiosity always get upvoted
       | to the top! There are so many high effort, substantive articles
       | at https://news.ycombinator.com/newest that nobody upvotes!
        
         | yehoshuapw wrote:
         | because even when it isn't why people come here, and if there
         | was too much of it you may be right - a message which brings up
         | a smile or warm feeling is enough for people to be thankfull
         | 
         | and that is a good thing
        
           | throwaway150 wrote:
           | Obviously the article is voted to the top. So the the lurkers
           | at /newest and the general HN audience must like this. Still
           | I wish though that upvoters stuck to the HN guidelines of
           | upvoting stuff that really gratifies one's intellectual
           | curiosity, not just some feel-good piece. There is no
           | shortage of other places where I can find feel-good articles.
           | I want HN to stick to HN guidelines.
           | 
           | This is all the more sad for me because among all the spam,
           | many high effort articles get posted to /newest but many
           | don't get the upvotes. These shallow, feel-good articles
           | always get the upvotes. I guess it takes more time to read
           | and appreciate a high effort article. So I understand why
           | this happens. But ...
        
         | raw_anon_1111 wrote:
         | I submit articles personally that I think will start
         | interesting conversations. I didn't submit this one. But I
         | suspected it would go in the direction of trying to start a
         | company - which it did. That is entirely on brand for a site
         | run by a VC company.
         | 
         | Mission accomplished.
        
         | famahar wrote:
         | The blog post is simple but it was enough of a good prompt to
         | spark an interesting discussion. Sometimes the comments expand
         | the depth of an idea and that's where the meat of curiosity
         | thrives.
        
       | throwaway314155 wrote:
       | I'm confused. This just seems like feel-good bullshit advice that
       | only works for people in extremely good circumstances.
       | 
       | There's a false equivalence between -
       | 
       | "All it takes is for one to work out."
       | 
       | and the following:
       | 
       | - "You don't need every job to choose you. You just need the one
       | that's the right fit."
       | 
       | - "You don't need every house to accept your offer. You just need
       | the one that feels like home. "
       | 
       | The latter assumes that _every_ attempt you make has a chance at
       | being "the right fit", "the one that feels like home". That is
       | not the way things works for 99% of us.
        
         | colecut wrote:
         | Unless you interpret 'working out' as being 'the right fit',
         | then it comes together pretty nicely
        
       | phkahler wrote:
       | And its always the last one you try. Just like every lost item is
       | found in the last place you look :-)
        
       | throwaway643384 wrote:
       | The "one that works out" can also give you a misrepresentation of
       | how the world works and a false sense of how lucky one should
       | expect to be over a long period of time.
       | 
       | At an earlier point in my life, I had been applying to many well-
       | known big tech companies right out of school (not a top school
       | either). I never got a reply from any of them so I ended up
       | accepting a local job with a non-tech company after months of
       | searching.
       | 
       | But I didn't give up my hopes and kept applying to big tech, and
       | while I did manage to get the occasional interview with some
       | mediocre companies or the random startup, I also miserably failed
       | all of them too.
       | 
       | At some point during my long period of despair at never getting a
       | better job, my very top pick (and arguably one of the best tech
       | companies in the world at the time) reached out to me. Even more
       | miraculously, I somehow passed their interview (the only tech
       | interview I passed in the prior year) and accepted a job there.
       | 
       | I _really_ enjoyed working there. Some of the best years of my
       | life. And my performance reviews were great too, so the imposter
       | syndrome from having failed so many tech job interviews sort of
       | faded into the background. But after a while, perhaps due to the
       | "hedonic treadmill" mentality, I thought I could do better. So I
       | left to join a startup.
       | 
       | Well, the startup failed, as startups tend to do, but what I
       | didn't expect and what caught me off guard was that I was now
       | back in the same situation I was in right after graduating from
       | college. Don't get me wrong--having "the name" on my resume now
       | meant I could get at least one chance at an interview about
       | anywhere. But much like the first round that I tried to forget
       | about, I once again failed all the interviews.
       | 
       | Unfortunately, this second time around never procured a "get out
       | of jail free" card.
       | 
       | So I guess my lesson is: 1) there's a lot of luck involved in
       | these things, 2) if life gives you a winning lottery ticket at
       | some point, don't throw it away for the chance to win an even
       | bigger lottery, and 3) that famous saying about "the only actions
       | regretted are those not taken" is absolutely, totally wrong--
       | almost all of my regrets in life relate to taking some action I
       | shouldn't have rather than inaction.
        
         | Sevii wrote:
         | A lot of people experienced that during the 2020 boom. The
         | lucky break wasn't a lucky break it was just a huge hiring
         | boom. Once that's over the status quo returns.
        
           | throwaway643384 wrote:
           | My lucky break occurred many years before the pandemic, but
           | after the original dotcom boom. Companies were neither hiring
           | nor firing like crazy.
        
         | _michaelhuang wrote:
         | It just sounds like you are in a middle of another journey my
         | friend.
        
         | EdNutting wrote:
         | Corollary: Choosing _not_ to do something is as much an action
         | as choosing _to_ do something. Which shines a bright light on
         | the meaninglessness of the phrase "the only actions regretted
         | are those not taken".
        
           | Archonical wrote:
           | There's also the option of choosing to not commit to either
           | action. One stays in the status quo without choosing it, but
           | since agency is negatively correlated with regret and no
           | agency was used, the 'choosing not to do something' option
           | probably has a higher chance of being regretted.
        
         | kccqzy wrote:
         | Well with the style of tech interviews we have, luck is
         | definitely involved. Some questions are simply my style (I like
         | graphs and dynamic programming for example), and I'm lucky if
         | the interviewer happens to choose these. But I don't like for
         | example two pointers problems.
         | 
         | And also I've long ago dissociated my tech interview
         | performance with my actual performance indicated by performance
         | reviews.
        
         | jandrewrogers wrote:
         | I have thrown away (in hindsight) amazing lottery tickets a
         | hilarious number of times. Despite that poor track record, I
         | have been able to grind out an enviable life sans lottery
         | ticket. Showing up and being hungry is a huge part of the game.
         | I've also had to reboot my career relatively late, which isn't
         | a place you want to be but it isn't a death sentence if you
         | don't want it to be.
         | 
         | While there is an element of survivor bias to my story, people
         | always underestimate the role of stamina and willingness to
         | grind when no one else would. It is a very long game but so is
         | life. I was never looking for the easiest way, and in hindsight
         | I think that produced more satisfying results even if the path
         | had much lower lows.
        
         | mmarian wrote:
         | Thanks for writing this, I'm in a similar position and feel the
         | same way.
        
         | Vishon wrote:
         | This is a super honest story and I think a lot more people
         | relate to it than they admit. The part that hit me most is how
         | easy it is to mistake a single lucky break for a permanent
         | trend. Tech careers are not linear at all. They look more like
         | random spikes mixed with plateaus.
         | 
         | A few thoughts from seeing this play out around me:
         | 
         | Interviews are insanely volatile. You can be the same exact
         | engineer on two different days and get completely opposite
         | outcomes, just based on the question draw or the interviewer's
         | style.
         | 
         | Brand name helps but doesn't guarantee anything. A big tech
         | logo on the resume gets you callbacks, but it doesn't magically
         | make you good at the modern interview format. You still have to
         | perform in the moment.
         | 
         | The hedonic treadmill is real. Once you get into a top company,
         | it's wild how quickly "this is amazing" turns into "I can
         | probably do better." It tricks you into thinking you're always
         | one jump away from a better life.
         | 
         | Leaving a stable spot is always a gamble. People romanticize
         | the jump to a startup but never talk about the reset it causes
         | when things don't go perfectly.
         | 
         | Failing interviews after success hits harder than failing
         | before success. Before, you can blame lack of experience.
         | After, you have to confront the randomness of the whole system.
         | 
         | Your point about regrets is also spot on. Not every action is
         | worth taking. Sometimes staying put is the smartest strategic
         | move even if it feels boring.
         | 
         | Something that helped me personally was learning how to control
         | the chaos during interviews. Most people actually know enough
         | to pass, but nerves kill them or they blank at the wrong
         | moment. I ended up using a tool during interviews that gives me
         | hints and guard rails so I don't freeze up under pressure. It's
         | called StealthCoder and it just overlays explanations on my
         | screen quietly. It doesn't fix skill gaps but it stops those
         | panic moments that cost you the round. It's allowed because it
         | just runs locally like any overlay and doesn't interact with
         | their systems.
         | 
         | But yeah, your story is a good reminder that careers hinge on
         | timing, mindset and a bit of luck. Stability is underrated and
         | chasing "more" has real risk attached. A lot of people only
         | learn that the hard way.
        
           | nerdsniper wrote:
           | > It's allowed because it just runs locally like any overlay
           | and doesn't interact with their systems.
           | 
           | This is account is spamming - as in advertising on HN. This
           | software is definitely not "allowed" during any typical
           | leetcode interview. The website is very explicit and upfront
           | about this being cheating.
           | 
           | They're also posting during the middle of the day in the
           | country where the company making this product is
           | headquartered, and it's 4AM in the country where the vast
           | majority of HN users are.
        
         | chegra wrote:
         | You still only need one. Keep trying.
        
         | queenmab wrote:
         | I thought there was something very odd about the way this was
         | written.
         | 
         | >Don't get me wrong--having "the name" on my resume now meant I
         | could get at least one chance at an interview about anywhere
         | 
         | Never mind, it's been written or at least edited by ChatGPT.
        
           | throw-qqqqq wrote:
           | That is a horrible, unfounded accusation!
        
         | John23832 wrote:
         | Lol same. Left a great tech company where was doing well to
         | pursue the startup life. "If I work hard, I will make it".
         | Startup failed, and the same prior opportunity hasn't come
         | around. Such is life.
        
       | TeMPOraL wrote:
       | Bait & switch, though.
       | 
       | "All it takes is for one to work out." is not the same as "You
       | just need the one [job] _that's the right fit._ " or "You just
       | need the one [house] _that feels like home._ " or "You just need
       | _the one_ [life partner]. "
       | 
       | Author's examples are, spiritually, the opposite of their
       | friend's advice - in fact, "all it takes is for one to work out"
       | is something often said to people who lost hope _because they got
       | lost being too picky_.
        
         | QuantumGood wrote:
         | Simplifications always leave something out. It's like the three
         | body problem: people think one factor matters most, and one
         | other factor controls it. But once they realize there is a
         | third factor that alters one or the first two, or mediates
         | between them, it gets more complicated.
        
       | sdqali wrote:
       | The article is good, but I am more impressed by how the author
       | has been posting every day since May 12th, 2008.
        
         | nebezb wrote:
         | All it takes is one.
        
       | j45 wrote:
       | Beautiful piece and reminder.
       | 
       | If you're never done growing, you're never done peaking, nor ever
       | really done trying.
       | 
       | One working out can lead to the next way.
       | 
       | Wishing everyone well who this piece resonated with.
        
       | otras wrote:
       | On a much less optimistic dark humor note, this is the same
       | argument in _If Anyone Builds It, Everyone Dies_ about a
       | superintelligent AI emerging and being a threat to humans.
       | 
       | https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/If_Anyone_Builds_It,_Everyone_...
        
       | wacper wrote:
       | This is a great approach! After every opportunity that closed on
       | me another arose, and it always was the better one.
       | 
       | Through these experiences I totally agree, and try to apply it to
       | life, but it's hard, even knowing that it's true. How cool is it
       | for every college, person, job offer, scholarship to want you?
       | 
       | Even though we're looking just for "the one" it's very hard for
       | me to mitigate the feeling of getting rejected, even knowing it
       | was not "the one". Rejection generally hurts, when you care about
       | the goal
        
       | jh00ker wrote:
       | Taking a break from studying for my interview in two days at a
       | FANG company, I checked Hacker News and this article was at the
       | top. I've been studying for this interview harder than any of the
       | others in the past. I feel well-prepared, but there's always the
       | luck factor. I hope this is a sign that this interview will be
       | the one to work out!
        
       | throwaway894345 wrote:
       | It took me an embarrassingly long time to realize this wasn't
       | about exercising.
        
         | einpoklum wrote:
         | I think it would be better if it were about exercising; it's
         | more useful advise that way.
         | 
         | So, all it takes is for you to work out: You may not get into
         | that grad school / that job, but you'll be healthier and you'll
         | feel less depressed. In fact, even if you're in grad school,
         | it's pretty good advice for coping avoiding burnout, coping
         | with impostor syndrome etc.
        
       | EdNutting wrote:
       | Unfortunately, the "one" which accepts you, is no guarantee of it
       | being the one which "works out" (in the short or long term). My
       | experience is now 4x "found one that ultimately doesn't work out"
       | (each lasting 2 to 3 years).
       | 
       | I'm now taking time out to try to figure out how to escape the
       | confines of the career path I've taken to find something
       | different.
       | 
       | Open to suggestions of entirely different careers that I could
       | switch to that might have higher odds of not being toxic rat-
       | races full of people telling lies and bullshit just to survive.
       | 
       | But broader experience suggests the world of work just sucks
       | these days (and yes, it's these days - our parent's generation
       | had a brief period of doing 9-to-5 jobs which paid well enough to
       | afford homes, have families and social lives and holidays. We
       | don't get that now.). No wonder large numbers of my generation
       | are dropping out of the workforce...
        
         | chamomeal wrote:
         | I think any huge tech company or private equity owned company
         | will be a rat race. There are plenty of tech jobs that don't
         | fall under that umbrella. They might not pay as well, but
         | they're out there!
        
           | EdNutting wrote:
           | Genuinely, no sarcasm or whatever intended, I just want to
           | broaden my horizons: what tech jobs did you have in mind? :)
        
             | netbioserror wrote:
             | I personally got one of those jobs at a smaller, "non-tech"
             | (read: engineering) company, quite close to where I grew
             | up. Got to pick my language and tools, have ownership of my
             | slice of the product, live a very comfortable and flexible
             | 9-to-5 where they gave me the room to do my best work. Pays
             | maybe half of the typical inflated tech salary. But I'm
             | doing well for myself.
             | 
             | My only issues at this point are 1) my life has bucket list
             | things to check off that have nothing to do with work, 2)
             | I'm running out of super interesting things to work on and
             | entering a sort of maintenance mode on my program, 3) the
             | old guard, who were all retirement age, are checking out
             | for a new generation, with a new direction.
             | 
             | So all that being said, I've been looking for work far
             | afield in places closer to my bucket list items. Hopefully,
             | I can find another smaller, specialized company that needs
             | a programmer with my skillset, because this experience has
             | been fantastic.
        
             | Dumblydorr wrote:
             | I'm in data analytics for government. It's got a ton of
             | meaning, tons of ceiling for skill and talent, and very
             | dedicated kind colleagues. No rat race except who can help
             | people the most, not a legit title haha, but there are 2X
             | analysts that inspire me. We also need DBA and tech team to
             | power up our systems :)
        
             | tasuki wrote:
             | I work for a small local company. There's ten people,
             | basically all working some kind of part time. The work is
             | interesting, the pay is peanuts, the atmosphere is great.
             | Thank god it's Monday tomorrow!
        
         | phito wrote:
         | Maybe move to a different country with a better work culture? I
         | don't know where you are from, I'm from Belgium and the only
         | truly toxic corporate places I've seen here were the ones
         | managed by Americans.
        
       | manicennui wrote:
       | This is also the strategy of groups trying to pass oppressive
       | legislation.
        
       | pgt wrote:
       | I read this as: all you have to do is work out.
        
         | koakuma-chan wrote:
         | That's what it says.
        
         | PyWoody wrote:
         | Right? I thought the article was going to be about how
         | constructive having even a simple daily workout can be for
         | mental health.
         | 
         | After reading the article, I like my version better.
        
           | twodave wrote:
           | Write it, then, and post it up here!
        
           | duckmysick wrote:
           | Sort of related - 10k pushups and other silly exercise quests
           | that changed my life:
           | https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=45456188
        
       | anonu wrote:
       | The corollary to this is "keep walking"... As my mom always tells
       | me.
        
         | chanux wrote:
         | If you are going through hell etc.
        
       | hereforcomments wrote:
       | This St Peterburg paradox. I've just learnt it from Veritasium's
       | last video.
       | 
       | https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/St._Petersburg_paradox
        
       | notepad0x90 wrote:
       | "Is this where you stop?"
        
       | anttiharju wrote:
       | Reminds me of AlphaGo
       | 
       | It didn't try to maximise by how much it won, but just that it
       | won. Apparently it changed the meta for human pkayers.
       | 
       | If you have the time for it, the movie/doc is worth watching
       | https://youtube.com/watch?v=WXuK6gekU1Y
        
       | LunicLynx wrote:
       | Another saying i repeat to myself, which if gotten from a friend.
       | 
       | You have already lost, you can only win.
        
       | JustExAWS wrote:
       | I agree with his sentiments and his examples. But my fear is that
       | on a place like Hacker News, people might not understand the
       | difference between his advice and trying to have a successful
       | startup.
       | 
       | > _You don't need every job to choose you. You just need the one
       | that's the right fit._
       | 
       | When I'm applying for a job, I can apply for multiple jobs at
       | once and interview for multiple jobs over a a few weeks. It's
       | especially easy when I am both interviewing and working remotely.
       | I don't have to make excuses to leave work during the middle of
       | the day or worse case fly out for an interview.
       | 
       | The same is true for buying a home, I can put bids in for
       | multiple homes - or in my case just have my homes built in 2003
       | and 2016. I know the world is different now.
       | 
       | > _You don't need every person to want to build a life with you.
       | You just need the one._
       | 
       | This is one place where of course you can shoot your shot at
       | multiple potential partners and date often. What you don't want
       | to do is try marriage multiple times if it can be avoided. A bad
       | marriage will wreck every part of your life and a divorce will
       | set you back financially. (Happily remarried for 15 years after a
       | horrible first marriage.)
       | 
       | None of his examples are applicable to starting a business. 9/10
       | startups fail and even out of those that "succeed" only a small
       | number of those have an outsized return for the founder where
       | they wouldn't be better off financially working a regular old
       | enterprise dev job for those years let alone getting a job at
       | BigTech.
       | 
       | VCs can make multiple bets at one time and be more assured that
       | they capture the 1/10 startups that succeed than a founder.
       | 
       | There is a huge difference between being able to take multiple
       | chances at once in all of those scenarios and being stuck with
       | the 1/10 choices you make for multiple years.
        
       | thom wrote:
       | A corollary to this, for me at least, has always been: don't try
       | to fake your way into an opportunity. Be yourself, let people
       | pass on the real you if they want, because you don't want to land
       | a job where you can't thrive as yourself. Obviously there's great
       | privilege in that and sometimes you need to eat shit in order to
       | eat at all, but if you have the option I hope you're able to wait
       | for the right fit.
        
       | colecut wrote:
       | I read the title and thought it meant that if you just exercise
       | everything else will fall into place.
       | 
       | I should probably still try that.
        
       | nextworddev wrote:
       | It also takes just one big mistake to really make things
       | tougher...
        
       | asdfman123 wrote:
       | Maybe you need only one. I need universal adoration! Everyone
       | must love me!
        
       | koinedad wrote:
       | I basically repeated the same thing to my wife when I was
       | transitioning into software engineering. It's so true!
        
       | awesome_dude wrote:
       | A (possible) restatement of the oft quoted "They have to be lucky
       | all the time, we only have to be lucky once" (albeit only the
       | second half)
        
       | einpoklum wrote:
       | _You don 't need to buy a lottery ticket every day, you just need
       | to buy one on the day you get the winning ticket._
       | 
       | Thanks for the tip buddy!
        
       | ojr wrote:
       | all I need is one SaaS to work out, I've built five of them this
       | year, the fifth one is the one though, I promise.
        
       | WarOnPrivacy wrote:
       | To land at the the author's difficulty level, you need to not
       | have chronic life-shifting catastrophes. That is, the sort of
       | challenges that slot your life in a place where the long reaches
       | are to keep housing and hopefully have food for the kids.
       | 
       | I started out where the author was. Well, roughly. +Kids,
       | -Secondary edu. I could and did rise above that. And above 3
       | economy shifts that each reset my biz to zero.
       | 
       | I did not rise above my spouse being swapped for an adult with
       | profound psych issues. I took on the single dad and caregiver
       | roles well enough.
       | 
       | However, I could not overcome the daily sabotage of, well,
       | everything. It's like a TV trope where you are shackled to your
       | worst enemy. But you have to keep them safe and your loved ones
       | safe from them.
       | 
       | It's tough to maintain a job schedule when the police frequently
       | call you during the workday (w and w/o CPS). Or when your transpo
       | is stolen and can't be replaced.
       | 
       | In short, it's particular tough to pretend to be stable.
       | Eventually there are no bridges left to burn.
        
         | chanux wrote:
         | Thanks for the kicking back some reality in.
         | 
         | Some of these risks are hard to adjust for. I guess you've got
         | to muster all the grit and keep walking.
         | 
         | Also BTW, you've shown enough but let me wish you more strength
         | for you. All the very best!
        
         | Barbing wrote:
         | How damn hard, sending love
        
         | heresie-dabord wrote:
         | > I did not rise above my spouse being swapped for an adult
         | with profound psych issues.
         | 
         | This is much more common than people in their conditioned
         | romanticism will ever acknowledge.
         | 
         | In the economy of the past 15 years, marriage is a much worse
         | risk than an expensive education.
        
       | andsoitis wrote:
       | This is also vividly demonstrated by life via evolution through
       | natural selection.
       | 
       | Life had to spark only once, leading to the subsequent explosion
       | in variety and complexity.
        
       | yesimahuman wrote:
       | Yep, heard so many no's while building my startup. They mean
       | nothing to me now because I got a few yes's when it mattered.
        
       | didip wrote:
       | This is what I keep telling my son even though he is still a bit
       | too young:
       | 
       | Here in Bay Area, in Silicon Valley, all you need is to try hard
       | and get lucky once.
        
       | twodave wrote:
       | I've considered some form of grad school a few times, but I
       | always came to the conclusion there just wasn't enough value in
       | it for a software engineer like me. I don't plan on teaching, and
       | I'm not really interested in the "science" of computer science so
       | much as the practice of it. Anyone able to validate or challenge
       | my assumptions here?
        
         | flat-like-paper wrote:
         | The only thing to add here is the value of the network you will
         | build. It's very easy for swes to forget that people connecting
         | to people is how things happen. Just be careful around cost.
         | Speaking from experience, having student loan debt changes the
         | range of your vision.
        
         | fragmede wrote:
         | If you don't want to do _any_ of the science part of computer
         | science then this route may not be one for you to consider.
         | However, if we assume that AI is going to be with us in 5
         | years, and that it would take you 5 years to get a PhD in an
         | AI-related area you _do_ find interesting, and furthermore that
         | demand for talent with a PhD in that area has gone up, or
         | stayed constant vs demand for general software development
         | talent, then, based on that pile of  "if"s, while a $100
         | million job offer from Meta may not exist in 5 years, it is
         | still something to consider.
        
       | throwaway-0001 wrote:
       | > You don't need every job to choose you. You just need the one
       | that's the right fit.
       | 
       | You mean, the first one to say yes. Tbh seems more like first to
       | say yes, not first to be fit and say yes.
       | 
       | > You don't need every house to accept your offer. You just need
       | the one that feels like home.
       | 
       | Same here. Is easy to find one to say yes. Hard to be "feels like
       | home" && say yes.
       | 
       | > You don't need every person to want to build a life with you.
       | You just need the one.
       | 
       | "The one" is hard.
       | 
       | >You don't need ten universities to say yes. You just need the
       | one that opens the right door.
       | 
       | Same. What even means "the right door"? How can you even know
       | before you got in?
       | 
       | I think it's a bad analogy. At least frame it a more realistic:
       | your only need one job to say yes. Might not be the right job but
       | it's a job. Same for all other.
        
       | adidoit wrote:
       | At-bats have always been the name of the game. That's why if
       | you're going to do something risky make sure you build the safety
       | net
        
       | jongjong wrote:
       | The problem is that the opportunity you need might be a 1 in 100
       | lifetimes opportunity...
       | 
       | These days once in a lifetime opportunities are getting
       | increasingly rare... This is something that the lucky few do not
       | understand because they may pass up on once-in-100-lifetimes
       | opportunities just about every single day. The asymmetry of
       | opportunities is massive.
       | 
       | Our system is not a level playing field.
       | 
       | No system in the history of humanity has wasted as much human
       | potential as our current system. Opportunities are completely
       | monopolized.
        
       | tmoertel wrote:
       | I think author's use of the word "the" is misleading:
       | 
       | > You don't need every job to choose you. You just need _the_ one
       | that's the right fit. [emphasis mine]
       | 
       | You don't need _the_ job that 's the right fit. There's more than
       | one. You need _any_ job that fits. (Or that you can make fit
       | you.)
       | 
       | So, if you want to size up the search, let _p_ be the probability
       | that a typical job you apply for will (1) result in you being
       | hired and (2) be a job that fits you. Then the expected number of
       | jobs you must apply to before getting hired to a job that fits
       | you is 1 / _p_. [1]
       | 
       | Say you think _p_ = 5%. Then, on average, you 'll need to apply
       | to 20 jobs to land one that fits you.
       | 
       | How many jobs do you need to apply to have a 90% chance of
       | landing one that fits you? If _q_ is the wanted probablity of
       | overall success, then the number of jobs _k_ you must apply to is
       | given by _k_ = log(1 - _q_ ) / log(1 - _p_ ). So, in this
       | example, k = log(1 - 0.9) / log(1 - 0.05) [?] 45 applications.
       | 
       | That's a lot of rejections and ill-fitting jobs before landing
       | one that sticks. Which is why it's useful to be persistent _and_
       | flexible. Being able to _make_ a job fit can dramatically reduce
       | your search.
       | 
       | [1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Negative_binomial_distribution
        
       | bigbluedots wrote:
       | At some point you don't need "the one that gives you joy". You
       | need the one that pays the bills and feeds the family
        
       | carsonwagner wrote:
       | Exactly correct. As a YouTuber, all it takes is one YouTube Short
       | to go viral for me, and I'll have hundreds of thousands of
       | subscribers overnight. I haven't had anything go seriously viral,
       | but my biggest Shorts have resulted in huge subscriber jumps. The
       | best advice I ever received was to consistently post for years on
       | end. If you have high-quality content, one of those Shorts is
       | almost certain to eventually hit the big leagues.
       | 
       | When it does, your life will change in an instant.
        
         | nextworddev wrote:
         | "Don't turn your life into a lottery" - Peter Thiel
        
           | cons0le wrote:
           | -says the guy that won the lottery
        
             | nextworddev wrote:
             | True. He def hit the jackpot with seed round for Facebook
             | lol
        
         | phito wrote:
         | I've seen plenty of small channels having a one time hit that
         | didn't really change anything in the long run
        
       | didgetmaster wrote:
       | How many great opportunities are passed up by people waiting for
       | the 'perfect' one to come along?
       | 
       | Job offers passed on because it wasn't the perfect fit. Marriage
       | chances missed because the perfect soul mate must still be around
       | the corner. Good schools rejected because it wasn't their dream
       | school.
       | 
       | Luck often accompanies those willing to accept less than perfect
       | in many cases.
        
       | andreygrehov wrote:
       | I strongly disagree with the author. The mindset they described
       | somewhat reminds me of body positivity--excess weight is not good
       | for your health, accepting it through a mental shift is a bad
       | advice.
       | 
       | Here is my personal advice to whoever reads this comment. Ignore
       | everything they say on the internet. Do what works best for you.
       | Trust your intuition. Set bold goals. Always learn and strive to
       | become better in everything you do.
       | 
       | If you failed an interview, it's perfectly ok to be disappointed.
       | Spend a day calling your own self names. It's normal! The very
       | next day analyze why you failed, see where you need to improve.
       | Rinse and repeat. This will get you whatever the hell you want in
       | this life.
        
         | sunkeeh wrote:
         | I think you missed the point, he doesn't disagree with your
         | points at all, he's just pointing out that you shouldn't stress
         | yourself out thinking you have to win them all when actually 1
         | is often all you need.
        
           | andreygrehov wrote:
           | I'm not sure if the author's perspective aligns with what I
           | said.
           | 
           | > You don't need every job to choose you. You just need the
           | one that's the right fit.
           | 
           | I don't think anyone expects to pass all the interviews.
           | Seriously, who expects that? The right fit of choices is
           | often limited. You need to deeply understand your weaknesses
           | and strengths to even know what the right fit is. People are
           | usually unaware of their own superpowers. Hard work is the
           | only thing that pays off. Luck comes to those who are
           | prepared.
        
         | globular-toast wrote:
         | I agree about body positivity, but the big difference is we are
         | talking about _relationships_ here. Whenever it 's a
         | relationship, whether it's professional, platonic or romantic,
         | sometimes it really is just them. But more often than not it's
         | a bit of both, it's up to you to decide whether you want to
         | make it about them or make it about you. If it's always about
         | them then you'll be that person who only ever meets assholes.
         | We all know the truth: you're the asshole.
         | 
         | So yes, reflect and think about what you could do better, but
         | don't compromise on your principles or try to be a person
         | you're not.
        
         | rTX5CMRXIfFG wrote:
         | The article has no connection to body positivity at all. It's
         | about storming through a long series of rejections or failures.
         | And your entire second paragraph could very well be a
         | justification for body positivity itself.
        
       | j7ake wrote:
       | This is also the philosophy espoused by Taleb. You want that job
       | that involves tinkering, playing, and an option to select
       | winners.
        
       | the_real_cher wrote:
       | I thought it was about exercising. (which also helps with stress)
        
       | keepamovin wrote:
       | Fuck yeah, man. That's great. Thank you for saying that
        
       | Brajeshwar wrote:
       | Personally, I do believe and still on the perpetual aim for that
       | "You have to be right just once." For me, it is not about the
       | "right one(s)." My philosophy is that I should be able to "Walk
       | Out" from situations, deals, and options that I picked and be
       | ready for the next.
       | 
       | I wrote about Walking Out,[1] but more from a content/digital
       | life perspective. I do follow similar thinking with life
       | situations too.
       | 
       | I'm neither complaining nor comparing, but hey, life dealt a bad
       | enough hand early on. Mother left us when the last of our
       | siblings (sister) was barely 6 months old, and father was never
       | present. My brothers and I survived by working odd jobs, stealing
       | vegetables from neighbors, and running errands for almost
       | everyone in the neighborhood. My brother worked repairing
       | bicycles, cleaning trucks, and giving up studies so I could
       | study. I started teaching the neighbors' kids in my 5th grade and
       | paid through school, then worked computer stuff to pay for
       | college, and also begged a lot of relatives to supplement for
       | food, books, etc. I know what actual starvation meant. It was
       | only around my 15th year I learnt that winters can actually be
       | warm when I had a sleep-over at my friend's place where they had
       | warm blankets that was thick enough.
       | 
       | So, my belief is that things won't work out. Can I Walk Out?
       | Well, "The purpose of life is to be defeated by greater and
       | greater things."
       | 
       | Way later in life, I realized the neighbors knew about our night
       | crawls. That was why they started giving us their vegetable
       | garden harvest, and the "we have some extra cooking oil."
       | 
       | 1. https://brajeshwar.com/2025/can-i-walk-out/
        
       | GarnetFloride wrote:
       | The trouble is how many times can you try. I tired building 6
       | businesses; all failed. I just don't have the resources to try
       | again. I've lost too much. I am lucky to have been able to try at
       | all. Like that parable floating around about the people and the
       | carnival games, the rich own the game, the poor run the games and
       | the middle class get a chance or two to play.
        
       | roudaki wrote:
       | A writers perspective: I like to pause from time to time and
       | thank my talent and my education for training me to the point I
       | can trully enjoy difficult classical work. And read it again and
       | again when I miss it. Also being able to sit and write for hours
       | is pretty incredible on its own.
       | 
       | Yes I have nothing to show for it. No money, no deals, no
       | awards... And that upsets me 70% percent of the time. In a
       | healthy way, where it just keeps me going back to the desk same
       | time every day.
       | 
       | Rest of the time I really enjoy just being able to do it and
       | being able to afford the time to do it. As one of the few in my
       | family with degree and withouth second job.
        
       | konart wrote:
       | Except "work out" is not and state but a process. You don't get a
       | person who loves you back and expect it to last a lifetime be
       | default.
       | 
       | Same about university or house, or... anything really.
        
       | Havoc wrote:
       | Similar to shots on goal concept. Sometimes more tries is the
       | answer
        
       | rhubarbtree wrote:
       | Was living in a small city for a while during the pandemic.
       | Commented to parent that dating scene wasn't going to be good and
       | I needed to move to a bigger city. They answered "all you need is
       | to meet one person".
       | 
       | I did. Met on an app, turned out they lived round the corner from
       | me, we are now married. She is a _very_ unusual person (has to be
       | to work with me) and you wouldn't expect her to be in a small
       | city, but due to particular life circumstances she had just moved
       | there temporarily.
        
       | Puzzled_Cheetah wrote:
       | That may be true, but it's also a trap: You can say _exactly_ the
       | same thing to someone at a casino with their last PS50 at five in
       | the morning. Sometimes, the advice that people give you, if they
       | care about you, is that the smart thing to do is to walk away
       | from a rough game - and if you don 't, the end can be very bad
       | indeed. You are a variable over the search space, and the way
       | that you interact with it alters the results that you will get as
       | applied to your life:
       | 
       | Making this specific, I used to work in employment advice. As one
       | of the things here is a job search, I'll touch on that one: There
       | are people who have been applying for jobs for decades. I've met
       | many people who haven't been able to get a job in north of twenty
       | years. It's obvious that what they're doing will never work out
       | for them. There _may_ be one job in the world out there that will
       | take them, but just doing a naive search will - in all
       | probability - never locate for them that job. The world is too
       | large and they don 't have the time to search even a single
       | percentage of it. What they need to do is to look at all the
       | reasons they're not getting a job and prioritise addressing
       | those:
       | 
       | - Do they have all the qualifications and certificates they need
       | for their target industry? - Do they have recent relevant
       | experience? - Do they have a good CV? - Do they have a decent
       | cover letter? - Do they have a good interview?
       | 
       | Now, that's not an exhaustive list, but you get the idea.
       | 
       | The other way in which it's a bad piece of advice is that people
       | aren't machines. When you've spent a great deal of time gambling
       | and losing then the tendency is for people to seek bigger payoffs
       | at higher comparative risks and/or lower comparative chances of
       | success. The tendency is for people to be less likely to do the
       | things, e.g. volunteering, that will improve their odds as their
       | tally of losses increases.
       | 
       | Down thread, raw_anon_1111 posits the position that you've lost
       | nothing by trying - https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=46091837
       | - in my experience this is not the case.
       | 
       | People lose time in making the attempts, they lose energy (which
       | is perhaps more important than time,) and they lose sight of
       | other options - which game they're playing, why they're playing
       | it, how they're playing it. It will, in all probability, not work
       | out within their lifetimes - and the reason that it won't work
       | out is that following this sort of strategy has made them the
       | sort of person for whom it is unlikely to do so. Whilst their
       | friends went and volunteered, and took concrete steps, they just
       | kept trying that same strategy on the assumption that at least
       | one was out there for them that met their requirements. And there
       | just wasn't. Not in that timespan.
       | 
       | Now, I'm not saying just give up and never try. Reversed
       | stupidity isn't intelligence. But if you've been trying to make
       | something work out - as a rule of thumb - for six months say, and
       | you're not seeing concrete steps towards success - you should re-
       | examine your fundamental assumptions. Preferably, if it's
       | something high-stakes, with the assistance of a competent third
       | party that you trust. Because maybe you're the problem, and maybe
       | there's something you can do about it. And you'd best find that
       | out now rather than spending 20 years on some warmly meant advice
       | that perhaps isn't going to work out for you.
        
         | raw_anon_1111 wrote:
         | I have been calling out specifically the difference between
         | things you can try in parallel with little to know negative
         | consequences - like applying for multiple jobs, going on
         | multiple interviews, putting bids in for multiple houses - and
         | winning one, and things that you have to do sequentially that
         | cost time - like starting a business and failing multiple times
         | that take 3-5 years each, cost real money and there are
         | opportunity cost.
        
           | Puzzled_Cheetah wrote:
           | In the short run, I'd mostly agree with you. Something being
           | parallelisable at a low cost lets you do more of it in a
           | short space of time, and probably lends itself to what should
           | be an earlier decision as to whether to reexamine your
           | approach. You're going to have a lot more information earlier
           | - all else being equal.
           | 
           | In the mid to long run, however, the costs mount up - however
           | small they may start off as. You can make, say, 20 job
           | applications a day - (not an uncommon thing to have people do
           | if they were on mandated provision) - have a couple of
           | hundred open in a few weeks and get nothing back. That takes
           | something out of people. People will still spend time from
           | finding and making those applications, energy, motivation, an
           | awareness of the wider context in which their problem's
           | structured....
           | 
           | There's a human component to the problem which generates
           | opportunity costs for things that don't seem to have any.
           | Like yes, technically, you can put 20 job applications in a
           | day and then go and volunteer. But it's the rare person who's
           | actually going to have the energy, motivation and awareness
           | to do that when they're going hard on a broad search
           | strategy.
        
       | anonyfox wrote:
       | Seeing the other comments I feel like the luckiest moment of my
       | life was meeting my future wife when I was at school with 16 and
       | having been together since for 20+ years, through higher
       | education and kids and house mortgage and all. Zero drama, mutual
       | respect and affection, both still preserving some independence to
       | maintain a ,,self", good double income.
       | 
       | Might sound stupid, but this major life area being just a rock
       | solid fundament frees up so much energy my peers still struggle
       | with nowadays quite often it's insane in hindsight. Everyday life
       | costs are lower, some risk taking is possible when someone has
       | your back unconditionally and even supports it (as long as not
       | going reckless), and a secure home base to return to is something
       | I guess even money can't easily buy. Short of being born already
       | rich I guess that's a cheat code with similar small odds, and I
       | appreciate it.
       | 
       | Then the ,,business opportunities" become just something way more
       | relaxed. Not identity level validation attempts or despair to get
       | into a better life. Which again allows better judgement calls and
       | reintroduces more fun and creativity into many things.
       | 
       | Just my 2c for perspective
        
       | Aldipower wrote:
       | Just try to enjoy your life. "The one" is a mindset of seeking
       | for a "release". Frankly, this does not sound healthy and I guess
       | there are bigger underlying problems.
        
       | victorbuilds wrote:
       | Needed to read this. 20 years building software for other people,
       | finally launched my own thing a few weeks ago. Most days feel
       | like nothing is working. But you only need one thing to click.
        
       | Quiark wrote:
       | My dumb ass read it as "all it takes is that you workout", just
       | with the more fancy pronoun 'one'
        
       | garyrob wrote:
       | If you try 2N times to succeed in ventures which each have a 1/N
       | chance of success, as N increases the probability of such as
       | success quickly converges on about 86.5%.
       | 
       | (The limit is 1-e^(-2).)
       | 
       | So, if you have a LOT of chances to try things that are highly
       | improbable but high upside, your odds are quite good.
        
         | hn_throwaway_99 wrote:
         | > So, if you have a LOT of chances to try things that are
         | highly improbable but high upside, your odds are quite good.
         | 
         | But that perfectly highlights why the "startup gamble" is a
         | great bet for VCs but a horrible bet for most employees. Let's
         | say N is, generously, 50 (i.e. 1 in 50 startups are a
         | resounding success, which seems probably a bit over-optimistic
         | but reasonable). VCs can easily spread investment around to 100
         | startups, but employees get a few swings at bat at most when it
         | comes to where they work.
         | 
         | For most things in life, you often just don't have that many
         | chances. E.g. most people don't date a hundred people before
         | finding their spouse.
        
       | yuturs wrote:
       | Did anyone else take this as "all it takes is for one to
       | exercise" or am I the only one lol
        
       | programjames wrote:
       | Wow, I really dislike this framing of life as a lottery. Yes,
       | people can get lucky. You could win the lottery. Statistically,
       | someone else will hold the winning ticket, every time. It's even
       | worse, because graduate school admissions and startup success are
       | correlated between attempts. If you bring a shotgun but you're
       | not even aiming at the target, you're never going to hit it.
        
       | dustfinger wrote:
       | When I saw the title, I thought it was going to be about exercise
       | :-P
        
       | sapphirebreeze wrote:
       | DOOM
        
         | ant6n wrote:
         | Wolfenstein was pretty successful already. commander Keen did
         | okay.
        
       | sheepscreek wrote:
       | This is beautifully put. I've heard it in a different context
       | which was equally profound for me. While searching for the
       | perfect home, after seeing a few, my realtor quipped something to
       | the effect of "there is more than one perfect home for you out
       | there". I took that to mean that if I have a bunch of choices and
       | they all feel right, then I can go with anyone and be content
       | with the decision. I can tell myself it was the right call at the
       | time.
       | 
       | Why I like the authors interpretation even more is because when
       | the chips are down, you just need the thing to work once (in many
       | contexts) and that might be your golden ticket. Like the one VC
       | that meets you out of a 100, or any of the examples the author
       | wrote.
        
       | oars wrote:
       | Thank you for sharing this.
       | 
       | Ome of the situations in the article is very relevant to me right
       | now.
       | 
       | I'm going to keep reminding myself now:
       | 
       | "All it takes is for one to work out.
       | 
       | And that one is all as I need."
        
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