[HN Gopher] The realities of being a pop star
       ___________________________________________________________________
        
       The realities of being a pop star
        
       Author : lovestory
       Score  : 309 points
       Date   : 2025-11-22 17:47 UTC (1 days ago)
        
 (HTM) web link (itscharlibb.substack.com)
 (TXT) w3m dump (itscharlibb.substack.com)
        
       | carabiner wrote:
       | Fascinating. Also impressive rawness, and it doesn't even seem
       | like she passed it thru Chatgpt. It's insane that my first
       | inclination is to detect those telltale signs in a blog post, and
       | here I found none.
        
         | varjag wrote:
         | Yeah there's a 'delve' there but it almost feels it was put in
         | as a taunt.
        
           | jspash wrote:
           | I never quite understood this "tell". I use the word all the
           | time. As do a lot of the people I have know. Written and
           | spoken.
           | 
           | Is this maybe an American thing? Ie it's just not used much
           | there?
        
             | levocardia wrote:
             | "Delve" was one of the words whose usage spiked most
             | dramatically after the launch of ChatGPT, relative to its
             | usage pre-ChatGPT.
        
             | renewiltord wrote:
             | I used to wear a mask when I was sick but still had to be
             | around people. It was just normal life. Then after COVID it
             | became a political statement. Now if I did that people
             | would assume I'm trying to say something.
             | 
             | I've always liked the American flag. I have a little pin on
             | my jacket. People assume something by its presence.
             | 
             | That's life. Delve is now an LLMism.
        
           | nemothekid wrote:
           | Charli is a half-british half-Indian. It could be legitimate
        
           | derangedHorse wrote:
           | Delve was a word I used before generative AI and it's a word
           | I'll continue using into the future. I will not let people's
           | perceived use of AI stop me from writing what I want to
           | write.
        
         | plasticeagle wrote:
         | I feel absolutely confident that Charlie XCX would never use
         | generative AI in any form. And this sentence is lovely;
         | 
         | "...let some random person you've just met in the bathroom try
         | on the necklace around your neck that is equivalent to the
         | heart of the ocean"
         | 
         | Like you I always look for signs of AI in writing I see online,
         | and it's incredibly disappointing how often it's there. There's
         | no personality, no charm, nothing unique - just the same
         | flawless grammar and overuse of cliche. This piece is filled
         | with the quality of humanity that we once took for granted.
         | This is what we are losing.
        
           | binary132 wrote:
           | not all of us, just most of us, apparently
        
         | gdulli wrote:
         | She may be of the final generation of real creatives who aren't
         | at a disadvantage relative to those who take the path of least
         | resistance and put out slop. The current/next generation of the
         | audience may look at manually created art as a curiosity, the
         | way most of us think about listening to vinyl.
        
           | bigiain wrote:
           | I'm less sure and perhaps more optimistic.
           | 
           | Spottily has clearly identified a paying market for
           | "incidental" music, something that people will play just to
           | fill in as background noise while not caring about it. But it
           | relies on a huge number of people who're prepared to pay a
           | vanishingly small amount for it, or even to put up with ads
           | to have it play for free.
           | 
           | But that's not "the audience" that all "creatives" are
           | seeking or writing for. At least some of them are writing for
           | the sort of person who actively seeks out and values
           | "manually created art". People like me. People who'll not
           | only go and listen to an artist's back catalog after enjoying
           | hearing a previously unknown artist, and who'll buy the music
           | that they love (including buying the vinyl even though they
           | have access via streaming and paid downloads as well). People
           | who'll keep an eye open for tours, and who'll buy concert
           | tickets and encourage friends to do so as well.
           | 
           | That will probably never generate Taylor Swift or Rhiannon
           | style careers or income, but I think "1000 true fans" is a
           | valid today as it was almost 20 years ago when it was
           | written:
           | 
           | https://kk.org/thetechnium/1000-true-fans/
           | 
           | Anybody "putting out slop" using GenAI in their art is
           | fooling themselves if they think it's ever going to be
           | possible to become truly rich and famous that way. If there's
           | money to be made from AI slop music, it'll be raked in by
           | streaming services and AI companies who can produce a million
           | tracks a day and A/B test then on streaming services with a
           | billion listeners. And _maybe_ there'll be a very few
           | specialist AI music production companies, someone with a
           | finely tuned AI and extremely skilled prompters - and with
           | enough skill and talent to recognise when the AI output is
           | going to be popular enough to be worth releasing. Someone
           | like Stock Aitken Waterman used to be back in the 80s. But
           | those production companies are directly in the targets of
           | enshittification by the AI companies (the same as every
           | company in any industry that becomes dependent on someone
           | else's GenAI).
           | 
           | https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stock_Aitken_Waterman
        
         | stavros wrote:
         | Nobody who likes writing would use ChatGPT to write. First of
         | all, it takes the fun out of it, and second of all, its writing
         | is clinical and corporate. I'm writing to express myself, how
         | would I accomplish that through someone else?
         | 
         | I don't think trying to detect ChatGPT is a good use of time.
         | Either the writing is good, or it's not.
        
           | carabiner wrote:
           | It doesn't take any more time than reading it. Chatgpt
           | writing is dogshit and if I see signs then I know probably
           | the whole work is polluted.
        
         | pinkmuffinere wrote:
         | > and it doesn't even seem like she passed it thru Chatgpt
         | 
         | Oh my god, can we stop with the obsession of whether something
         | has been chatgpt-ified? I like to know when things are true, or
         | when they are good. I couldn't care less if they are chatgpt-y.
        
           | jdlshore wrote:
           | I think people disliked being fooled. Something seems good
           | and true, and then you realize it was ChatGPT, and you
           | realize it's all fake. The connection you were forming with
           | the author is gone (because they phoned it in) and the sense
           | of truth is gone (because who knows what was hallucinated).
           | 
           | People like authenticity. ChatGPT ain't it.
        
             | foxglacier wrote:
             | Another thing that isn't authentic is anything said in
             | public by a celebrity - or worse - the feelings they show
             | in their work. Yet people still lap it up. I think people
             | enjoy being fooled into believing something is authentic in
             | some cases but not others. Not sure what distinguishes them
             | though.
        
       | cypherpunks01 wrote:
       | > "A couple of weeks ago Yung Lean came for dinner at my house ..
       | He is probably one of the wisest people I know."
       | 
       | Two sentences I would've not predicted in close proximity to one
       | another! Hah, love it. Guess he's been through a lot over the
       | years.
        
         | polalavik wrote:
         | yung leans interview on nyt popcast is good
         | https://youtu.be/p1FF3r6raSc?si=Yq4kxIuQCUkW8IBr also his doc
         | on Noisey years back was really good
         | https://youtu.be/6wgFliyJ4Bk?si=B1DdlOQZH9NBsve1
        
           | bahmboo wrote:
           | It is a great interview, thanks. Never heard of him, he's a
           | smart young person. Goes hand in hand with Charlie's post.
           | Hey it's Saturday night we can talk about culture stuff,
           | right? Edit to add: young prodigies in artistic pursuits have
           | similar choices as young tech prodigies.
        
             | BriggyDwiggs42 wrote:
             | >young prodigies in artistic pursuits have similar choices
             | as young tech prodigies.
             | 
             | How so?
        
               | bahmboo wrote:
               | Values - I'm not judging.
               | 
               | Do you want to be the best rapper in Sweden? Do you want
               | to be the best engineer at EA? 2 million a year to work
               | at Palantir? Sign with a label and get 2 million a year
               | to live in LA and have your music in Pepsi ads? Start an
               | open source greenfield passion project that has only your
               | vision as the runway? Work your own musical genre even if
               | your audience isn't there yet?
               | 
               | As a talented young person (or at least you believe in
               | yourself!) it's early in your life/career where you can
               | sculpt and morph yourself while you are still formable.
        
       | decasia wrote:
       | I thought this was a really good piece of writing. It's rare to
       | do something like this because the job discourages it by putting
       | PR filters on everything you say.
       | 
       | My uncle was a pretty big pop star in the 1960s. His group at one
       | point had a big fanzine, they were household names across the
       | country, over time they had stalkers and weird fans and all that,
       | made movies and albums, had big parties and knew other famous
       | people, pretty much all those things that the OP writes about
       | (circa 50 years later, some of it has changed but not that much).
       | 
       | He could be charismatic and surprisingly eloquent and I could
       | picture him writing a piece like this, if the mood had struck.
       | 
       | He also lost pretty much all the money through mismanagement
       | (several times over), eventually moved out of LA, had a
       | tumultuous family life with numerous spouses and wasn't around
       | much for his kids, and after his 40s was trapped in a sad cycle
       | of reunion tours because the band still needed the money. The
       | tours still had some level of excitement and crowd enthusiasm,
       | even pretty late in life and I guess he always loved the stage,
       | the performing, all that. But in the end, I kinda felt it seemed
       | like a lonely existence. Hard to form really deep connections
       | when you're always traveling and often away in your head.
        
         | ilamont wrote:
         | > after his 40s was trapped in a sad cycle of reunion tours
         | because the band still needed the money.
         | 
         | Celebrity memoirs are often written for the same reasons, or to
         | promote other ventures. For instance Peter Wolf seemingly
         | reluctantly shared vignettes about Dylan, The Stones, Faye
         | Dunaway, and rock 'n' roll life in the 1970s to promote his
         | newer stuff:
         | 
         | "I was putting out solo CDs. Not to sound self-congratulatory,
         | but I thought each one got better and better-- but they weren't
         | finding an audience. I thought a book might encourage people to
         | check out the other stuff. So basically, the intent of the book
         | was to find a wider audience."
         | 
         | https://www.boston.com/culture/books/2025/03/10/peter-wolf-m...
        
         | Insanity wrote:
         | It was interesting and a fun read, but not a "good piece of
         | writing" in my opinion. Apart from some spelling mistakes, the
         | sentences droned on and it read more like a semi-coherent rant
         | than a thoughtful piece on "being a pop star".
        
           | thaumasiotes wrote:
           | The sentences do drone on, but they're fully coherent; this
           | is above-average writing. It wouldn't likely meet publishing
           | standards, but it's a lot better than you'd expect a
           | randomly-chosen person to produce.
        
             | bryanrasmussen wrote:
             | I'm sure an editor would go through and suggest tightening
             | up some points, but I agree it's good enough as a first
             | draft.
             | 
             | The problem is there are too types of writers who don't get
             | the help of an editor, those who are too big and famous to
             | accept one and those too poor to afford one.
             | 
             | I sort of feel the people who are saying it's bad aren't
             | very able to separate their own preferences from
             | determining quality
             | 
             | https://medium.com/luminasticity/to-speak-meaningfully-
             | about...
        
           | IceDane wrote:
           | As interesting as I find it, cannot agree more. It's very
           | childish writing - feels a lot like it was written by a
           | teenager. It sort of reminds me of my young 8 year old niece
           | telling me a story she finds so exciting she barely comes up
           | for air.
        
             | derangedHorse wrote:
             | It read like something the young adult women I know would
             | write. It's surprisingly normal.
        
           | tomsmeding wrote:
           | It is thoughtful, that's not the problem. It's just not
           | written in the standard language "written English", but
           | instead in "spoken English" with some attempts towards the
           | former ("My final thought on ...") that sound like someone
           | trying formal writing for the first time.
        
           | nunez wrote:
           | I thought it was excellent for something that appears mostly
           | off the cuff. This is what lots of good writing looks like
           | before the editors get to it, btw
        
           | TheTon wrote:
           | I admit I started reading with some skepticism. It didn't
           | read like PR, so I assumed I was reading fanfic. By the
           | midpoint, she managed to convince me otherwise.
           | 
           | I think the author is walking a tightrope between convincing
           | the reader that she wrote this herself and that there's more
           | depth to her than what we see on stage or in pop media.
           | Writing this blog is definitely a tougher assignment than
           | doing podcast interviews or behind the scenes videos.
           | 
           | You are right, of course, a good editor could make this
           | better, but I think she's deliberately avoiding that here. A
           | pop star is unwise to fire a good producer without a better
           | replacement, but sometimes they have to bring out the piano
           | and do an acoustic performance live.
        
           | CoastalCoder wrote:
           | I was interested by the part in the middle talking about
           | society not tolerating women stepping too far out of
           | traditional roles.
           | 
           | I'm a 50-ish years old American man, and I just don't notice
           | anything like that in my own attitudes or of those around me.
           | 
           | I wonder if one or both of us have biased vision, or
           | alternatively maybe we just live in different societies.
        
             | derektank wrote:
             | I certainly believe that if you want to be a successful
             | musician, not even a pop star necessarily just one that's
             | able to draw crowds large enough to sustain you
             | financially, you probably are bound by certain norms and
             | expectations. Not necessarily because audiences _hate_
             | women (or men for that matter) that break the mold, but
             | they 're not as easy to digest. It adds friction. And when
             | there are thousands of other artists out there to listen
             | to, that friction can be the difference between success and
             | failure.
             | 
             | I agree with you though, if you're willing to live a small
             | life where you only need the love and respect of a small
             | handful of people, you can do almost anything and very few
             | people will genuinely hate you.
        
         | nunez wrote:
         | That's the fate of many acts from that period. So so so many
         | artists who were stratospherically popular but are still
         | touring for cash playing to nobody younger than them. It's sad.
        
           | BrandoElFollito wrote:
           | This is a staple of French TV music prime time shows. You get
           | the stars of the 80s and 90s and it is often simply sad to
           | watch.
        
           | derangedHorse wrote:
           | "better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at
           | all"
           | 
           | Is it sadder than any other individual who has to work into
           | retirement age? Or is the fall itself what you find sad? I
           | can imagine some artists might be happier in this latter
           | stage of their lives where they can focus on their real fans
           | and better fostering other personal relationships in their
           | lives.
        
         | sandblast wrote:
         | Sorry, I'm curious: why it "was", not "is", a really good piece
         | of writing?
        
           | CoastalCoder wrote:
           | Presumably the tense refers to the time of the reading, not
           | the time of the article's existence.
        
         | singleshot_ wrote:
         | This was slightly better than reading something generated by an
         | AI but I have a similar sense that I am dumber for having read
         | two paragraphs of it.
        
       | andrewinardeer wrote:
       | I couldn't think of anything worse than to be known world wide.
       | 
       | You couldn't go out in public without being hounded or swamped by
       | people. The parasocial relationships people form with you can put
       | your life in danger.
       | 
       | Even worse is being a politician - particularly at a global
       | leader level. Surely there has been an average Joe who has
       | shithoused their way into being a leader of a significant
       | country. Once you do that, with politics being as toxic as it is,
       | for the rest of your days you can be a marked person.
        
         | dfxm12 wrote:
         | What does shithoused mean in this context? All the meanings I
         | know for it don't fit, not even metaphorically...
        
           | andrewinardeer wrote:
           | Sorry for the bogan nomenclature.
           | 
           | I mean "fell upwards". Gave it a shot for shits and giggles
           | and made it.
        
             | windowshopping wrote:
             | I didn't know what bogan meant either so I looked it up and
             | I have to infer we are speaking with an Australian or New
             | Zealander, hence the small vocabulary differential in our
             | English.
        
               | bombcar wrote:
               | Aussies speak something that sounds vaguely like English
               | but it ain't.
        
               | bigiain wrote:
               | You know how it's said that eskimos have 50 words for
               | "snow"?
               | 
               | Aussies have 50 meanings for the word "cunt". It can
               | simultaneously be both the worst and the best thing you
               | can call someone. And aussies know exactly which meaning
               | is intended from context.
        
               | decimalenough wrote:
               | It's easier than that, the meaning is defined by the
               | previous word. Although you do have to be an Aussie to
               | know that being called a "sick cunt" is high praise,
               | while being a "dog cunt" is a mortal insult.
        
               | MomsAVoxell wrote:
               | It also depends on how long you stretch the word cunt.
               | Shorter cunt usually infers insult, longer cunts belie
               | respect, and if it goes for more than a second, you're
               | probably watching Aussie rules footie or the cricket and
               | something bad/good happened, depending on whether the
               | pitch goes up or down in the last milliseconds.
        
               | fyltr wrote:
               | For the record, eskimo is a derrogatory term meaning "raw
               | meat eater". The term Inuit is nowadays preferred.
        
               | bigiain wrote:
               | Thank you. I did not know that. I shall strive to update
               | my use of wording there.
        
         | WJW wrote:
         | Tim Ferris once made the point that at an incidence rate of
         | psychotic episodes (~26 per 100.000 people) compared to
         | expected influencer reach (several million if you're doing
         | well), statistically you are expected to have a few dozen
         | severely mentally ill people in your audience. Several of those
         | may project you to be the cause of all their problems, even if
         | you are literally the most wholesome person in the world just
         | because they are not experiencing reality in a sensible way at
         | the moment.
         | 
         | Link: https://tim.blog/2020/02/02/reasons-to-not-become-famous/
        
       | wewewedxfgdf wrote:
       | I'd hate to be a pop star.
       | 
       | The more anonymity the better.
        
       | jppope wrote:
       | Courtney Love wrote a fabulous article explaining the realities
       | of a million-dollar album (2000 -
       | https://www.salon.com/2000/06/14/love_7/) and it explains so much
       | of whats actually going on that the public doesn't fully
       | comprehend. Its a great read if you've never read it.
       | 
       | The realities are similar to what we are reading in this article.
       | Most of what gets talked about is gross numbers not net. Most of
       | the benefits of the job, are in the journey not the destination -
       | if you're even into that stuff... i.e. having your music impact
       | lives.
       | 
       | I wish sooooo much that people could read these things so when I
       | go to a dinner party or random event, some GenPop person knew
       | that JK Rowling makes billions of dollars but your average
       | published writer loses money publishing a book. Your average NBA,
       | NFL, MLB, NHL athletes are broke 5 years after they are out of
       | the league. Fame, is mostly a curse.
       | 
       | Good on charli xcx for writing this and for writing period.
        
         | SL61 wrote:
         | It's interesting to observe that fame (and the money that
         | usually comes with it) seems to follow something like a log
         | scale. People usually don't become gradually more famous in a
         | linear way. They're more likely to spend a few years with 50k
         | listeners and then get a big hit and get 1 million listeners
         | overnight, then the next big jump is 20 million, and so on.
         | 
         | It's possible to be semi-famous and still able to go to the
         | grocery store and pump your own gas without getting recognized.
         | The local sports radio guys don't need an entourage, even if
         | they _do_ get recognized. But as a rising artist, you hit a
         | point where you can no longer go out in public at all. It 's
         | really shocking when it happens because it's so abrupt. My
         | dad's famous friend was a regular at a local restaurant and
         | wasn't bothered for a long time, even when his name/face
         | started showing up in the media. Then one day another customer
         | shouted his name and he got mobbed by fans, and he realized he
         | couldn't go out to eat like a normal person anymore. I think
         | Charli crossed that line with the success of her album Brat
         | last year. It's the point where you start to ask yourself if
         | it's really worth it, and maybe consider going full recluse
         | like Thomas Pynchon. (That's not even getting into the online
         | stan culture stuff that Charli talks about in the article.)
        
           | trogdor wrote:
           | > I think Charli crossed that line with the success of her
           | album Brat last year.
           | 
           | In Hollywood, that line gets crossed at a surprisingly low
           | level. I am friends with Josh Sussman, who played Jacob Ben
           | Israel on Glee. I occasionally visit him in LA, and we can't
           | go _anywhere_ in public without getting constantly stopped by
           | people wanting photos. It's exhausting.
        
             | derangedHorse wrote:
             | I didn't watch it myself, but Glee was a very popular show.
             | Since Josh Susman was a recurring character, it's
             | unsurprising that he'd have a large fanbase (especially in
             | LA).
        
           | bigiain wrote:
           | It's fascinating to me that her new album's name is
           | "Wuthering Heights", the name of Kate Bush's debut and number
           | 1 single from 1978. Kate Bush is well known (in the circles
           | of people who know about this sort of thing) and as fiercely
           | independent and self-controlled artist. I hope Charlii
           | manages her career and fame as well as Kate has over the
           | decades.
        
             | steve1977 wrote:
             | As I understand, Charli's album is the soundtrack to a
             | movie called Wuthering Heights. Which is loosely based on
             | the 19th century novel of the same name. And that novel was
             | also the inspiration for the Kate Bush song.
        
           | empressplay wrote:
           | I will note "in the US" here.
           | 
           | I lived in Camberwell, Australia for a while and I would run
           | across Geoffrey Rush in the local supermarket fairly
           | routinely.
           | 
           | Nobody bothered him.
        
         | pinkmuffinere wrote:
         | > Your average NBA, NFL, MLB, NHL athletes are broke 5 years
         | after they are out of the league. Fame, is mostly a curse.
         | 
         | I'm not familiar with the financials of music / media
         | production (I didn't read the linked article yet, sorry). But I
         | feel this over-pitying attitude towards professional sports
         | players is misplaced. They do often go broke after their
         | career. That is sad. It is also completely avoidable with
         | _very_ basic financial planning. I think feeling sorry for them
         | is a disservice, because it makes it seem that this outcome is
         | hard to avoid. It's not hard when they're making 500k+/year:
         | 
         | 1. Spend (a lot) less than you make. At 500k/year anywhere in
         | the US, you should easily be saving 200k / year.
         | 
         | 2. Invest the money you've saved. There's lots of good advice
         | online, and realistically if you're saving 200k/year you don't
         | have to worry about making the best choices -- just decent
         | ones.
         | 
         | 3. Don't accept generic lifestyle creep!
         | 
         | People need to be responsible and take control of their
         | finances. You can't rely on somebody else to watch your
         | finances, or make you eat your vegetables, or brush your teeth.
         | The same advice applies to lots of people in tech, IMO.
        
           | specialist wrote:
           | Your ideas are intriguing and I wish to subscribe to your
           | newsletter.
        
             | pinkmuffinere wrote:
             | Do you really? I keep a blog here[1], but it's very
             | sporadic and not very focused -- i mostly write to satisfy
             | myself
             | 
             | [1] https://bagelpour.wordpress.com
        
           | bigiain wrote:
           | You're right, of course.
           | 
           | But often there are obvious and "easy" answers that are
           | anything but easy for the person who needs those answers.
           | 
           | "Just cheer up, depressed person!"
           | 
           | "Just eat less and exercise more, fat person!"
           | 
           | "Just stop shooting up, heroin addict!"
           | 
           | "Don't accept generic lifestyle creep, pro athlete who's
           | teammates are all living it up like they live in a gangsta
           | rap music video!"
           | 
           | I'm sure there are lots of pro sports players that get and
           | heed advice just like yours, and finish out their short and
           | bright sports career well financially set for their remaining
           | 60-ish years when they're no longer capable of earning half a
           | mil plus a year being athletes.
           | 
           | But I'm also fairly sure the career and lifestyle, and the
           | managers, hangers on, and sycophants they're surrounded with
           | push then hard the other direction.
           | 
           | I'm not from the US, so I don't have a real understanding of
           | US pro sports and the way people end up there, but I have
           | this impression that it's "one of the ways out of the ghetto"
           | for at least some of them. People who won the genetic
           | lottery, but lost the birth demographics lottery. They've
           | never had generation wealth or even a middle class safety
           | net. They don't have family or friends who have experience or
           | advice about what to do with suddenly having way more money
           | that anybody the have even known. They don't have family or
           | close friends who can recommend trusted financial advisors or
           | lawyers. Any advice they're getting risks coming from people
           | they ane not certain they can trust to have their own
           | interests at heart, and aren't trying to skim their own
           | percentage off the top.
           | 
           | I don't exactly pity someone who earns 500k+ a year in a
           | short pro sports career, and blows it all ending up poor. But
           | I think I can understand how the system is set up - if not to
           | actively encourage that outcome, at the very least that
           | system probably doesn't do as much to protect against it as
           | they could.
        
             | rootusrootus wrote:
             | > Just
             | 
             | I often think this is the biggest word in the English
             | language.
             | 
             | Similar to how I think "might as well" may be the most
             | expensive phrase.
        
               | gizajob wrote:
               | Can you expand on that? I feel like it's the most misused
               | and overused word in my vocabulary and one I wish I could
               | just get rid of a lot of the time and never seem to
               | manage. It just creeps in.
        
               | bryanrasmussen wrote:
               | Just in the usage being complained about argues that
               | whatever it is modifying does not need or benefit from
               | analysis.
               | 
               | It just creeps in, but why? Why does it creep in? Often
               | because we do not want to do the complicated analysis as
               | to why things are the way they are because then it does
               | not validate our preferences which are often emotional
               | and not movable by logic anyway.
               | 
               | Just exercise more, fatty, says that the problem of being
               | a fatty has a simple solution that anyone can see and
               | there is no need to argue the point here. Start jogging!!
               | 
               | Just in the rather archaic meaning nowadays as being
               | right and proper and what should happen in a fair and
               | balanced universe is tangentially related, the archaic
               | meaning of Just is memetically echoed in the assertive
               | mode of Just doing things. If the world was fair and
               | balanced and most of all really simple then Just jogging
               | would cure the fatty, but it doesn't.
               | 
               | on edit: changed than to then.
        
               | pardon_me wrote:
               | I call this "justing".
               | 
               | Justing trivializes life entirely.
        
             | thaumasiotes wrote:
             | > "Don't accept generic lifestyle creep, pro athlete who's
             | teammates are all living it up like they live in a gangsta
             | rap music video!"
             | 
             | I'm not sure lifestyle creep is actually the main problem
             | that celebrities going broke suffer from. Stereotypically
             | the lifestyle is something they can afford, but they make
             | bad investments.
        
             | brabel wrote:
             | You are both right. Yes it's very easy to just eat less or
             | spend less. But it's also nearly impossible for the obese
             | or the athlete respectively. Because we need to recognize
             | people don't really have free will to do what they know is
             | best. If we recognized that and acted accordingly then the
             | world would be so much more reasonable to live in.
        
           | coro_1 wrote:
           | Logistics are a nice guard rail for the pro-sport wealth
           | management conversation. Let's presume rates of success are
           | still low. Why.
           | 
           | Consciousness. We all have a wealth consciousness.
        
           | bryanrasmussen wrote:
           | >They do often go broke after their career. That is sad. It
           | is also completely avoidable with _very_ basic financial
           | planning. I think feeling sorry for them is a disservice,
           | because it makes it seem that this outcome is hard to avoid.
           | It's not hard when they're making 500k+/year:
           | 
           | this is a good point and also I believe obviously wrong.
           | 
           | What are the stats on people making 500k a year on losing
           | that going broke? Do they outperform sports stars etc.?
           | 
           | If it is the same then that implies that on the average
           | people do not handle 500k basic financial planning well, or
           | two that basic financial planning won't do what you say with
           | that amount of money (for what, 5 years?). At any rate it
           | would mean that generally people suffer this way and thus it
           | is doing a disservice to point out how dumb they were for not
           | doing basic financial planning.
           | 
           | If it is not the same then it implies that there may be
           | something about the career that makes it harder then it does
           | for other people in which case you are doing even more of a
           | disservice.
           | 
           | I believe it is actually there is something about the career
           | that makes it harder (this belief is formed by just thinking
           | about it and doing absolutely no data analysis because I just
           | do not have the time to devote to it past this HN post)
           | 
           | But I think we can create a thought experiment that shows why
           | it is different
           | 
           | Many of us here are familiar with careers the top of which
           | make 500k a year, there are a few engineers who could make
           | that much. Or management at tech firms, it doesn't matter.
           | There are people who can make that much.
           | 
           | Now if you lose your 500k job in tech what happens? You
           | probably fall down a level to a lower paying job in tech.
           | Let's say 390,000. That's a significant drop, but it's still
           | a pretty nice wage.
           | 
           | The reason for this is because the tech career is a pyramid,
           | 500k at or near top. And a pyramid means that the levels
           | lower than the higher levels are wider (this being an
           | analogy) and being wider has more entries for you to fall
           | into.
           | 
           | Sports is also a pyramid. Or really several pyramids. There
           | is the small pyramid of multi-million dollar players who can
           | fall into single millions and then into the hundreds of
           | thousands. But mainly the pyramid you are dealing with is an
           | inverted pyramid. That is to say the sports career chart is
           | top = player, most players, when you fall out of player level
           | you fall into a level with fewer slots - coaches,
           | commentators, agents, recruiters. If you can't fall into one
           | of these slots and perform adequately (perhaps because you
           | are doing a high paying job that also has high risks of
           | causing brain damage [depending on sport obviously]) then
           | when you lose your 500k sports job you are probably
           | significantly worse off than most of us are when we lose our
           | 500k programming jobs (obviously counterexamples abound, like
           | if you lose job due to illness that means you won't get
           | 390000 programming job either)
           | 
           | Anyway I believe your point that these people should not be
           | pitied over much because they could handle their problems
           | with basic financial playing probably is a bit mean, and one
           | I often hear around here.
        
             | bryanrasmussen wrote:
             | as it the case with most analogies, the pyramid analogy is
             | severely flawed, but I do think it makes the one point
             | clearly which is that when you loose a 500k programming job
             | there are more lower paying jobs in the same industry you
             | can fall into, when you lose a 500k sports job you might
             | not have a lower paying job you can fall into because there
             | just aren't that many in the sports industry.
        
           | miki123211 wrote:
           | I know nothing about pro sports, but:
           | 
           | To be a good "team player", it's good to be liked by your
           | teammates. If you want to be friends with your teammates, who
           | all spend money like there's no tomorrow, it probably helps
           | if you do the same.
           | 
           | I'm not saying you can't save up as an athlete, but it's
           | probably harder than we think.
        
             | rsanek wrote:
             | Seems unlikely to me. At that level (minimum salaries in
             | NBA are around $1~3m, depnding on years of experience),
             | even a 10% savings rate could ensure you're never totally
             | "broke." I would find it hard to believe that the
             | difference between spending 100% and 90% could be at all
             | noticeable externally.
        
           | TheOtherHobbes wrote:
           | You need a certain kind of personality to be responsible
           | financially, and it doesn't overlap with the personality
           | required of a pop star or sports star.
           | 
           | Quite a few stars get scammed. "Our accountant/manager stole
           | all the money" is not an uncommon thing.
           | 
           | Music and sports both have shady links to organised crime, so
           | it's not a given that stars are going to be surrounded with
           | the kindest and most professional people.
        
           | toast0 wrote:
           | > Spend (a lot) less than you make. At 500k/year anywhere in
           | the US, you should easily be saving 200k / year.
           | 
           | $500k/year sounds like a lot, but that's enough that taxes
           | are going to take a large bite. Only the biggest stars can
           | get their income deferred beyond their career. Because of the
           | nature of the job, you're going to have larger housing costs:
           | when you get traded, you need to find somewhere to live
           | quickly and you might be on the hook for the old lease for
           | some time; depending on the league, off-season training may
           | happen in a different part of the country than the regular
           | season, so you might need housing there too... Moving costs
           | probably add up, because trades are immediate.
           | 
           | If you're only in the league for 5 years, chances are you're
           | spending some time in the minors and you're typically not
           | earning at your headling contract rate then... Also, a lot of
           | the headline rates include bonuses for winning the
           | championship which statistically few teams and players do.
           | 
           | There's also the problem that yes, these people need
           | financial advice because they don't always have financial
           | skills, but they also have trouble picking financial advisers
           | because they don't always have financial skills.
           | 
           | Also, young people of all income levels get themselves into
           | trouble with finance; higher income probably makes it easier.
           | 
           | I certainly agree that $500k/year for 5 years should leave
           | you well off after, but it's not that surprising that it
           | often doesn't.
        
         | canucker2016 wrote:
         | Pro athletes also have higher divorce rates than the general
         | population - 60-80% vs 50% source NYTimes/Sports Illustrated
        
         | saghm wrote:
         | The "average" player in one of those sports leagues isn't
         | really a celebrity at the level the article is talking about.
         | Charli XCX's last album was nominated for 11 Grammies and won
         | six of them, and it has the 15th highest aggregate rating from
         | Metacritic of all time. If you're comparing to athletes, this
         | is All-Star roster, potential MVP winning-level performance for
         | at least that season. By no means it's every player who hits 50
         | home runs in a season is going to be set for life financially,
         | but the chances they're going to struggle are a lot lower than
         | some some random utility infielder or middle reliever.
        
           | globalnode wrote:
           | never heard of them before this HN article lol. the only
           | thing that struck me was no paragraphs in the article, just
           | one giant wall of text. and also how bored id be living that
           | lifestyle (personally)
        
             | rafaele wrote:
             | Did we look at the same article? I counted 6 or 7
             | paragraphs
        
             | bigiain wrote:
             | I was aware of her name, and roughly her genre, but
             | couldn't have named or even recognised a single track of
             | hers.
             | 
             | I looked her up and started listening as I read the
             | article, and the while listening to the two track released
             | so far from her upcoming album I was thinking "this is
             | really good, why haven't I listened to her before?" then I
             | put on her last album Brat, and realised "Oh, right. That's
             | not my style of music. She's never been writing for me, and
             | I know who she is writing for, and I understand why they
             | like her and why she's so popular." And I respect that.
             | 
             | I'll keep an ear out for her new album, and based on what
             | I've heard so far I fully expect to enjoy it, way more than
             | I'm enjoying Brat. I've also added her substack to my rss
             | feeds, no guarantee it'll stay there long term, but I'm at
             | least curious enough to follow along for her next few
             | blogposts.
        
             | Insanity wrote:
             | I know of her name, but I couldn't name a single song of
             | hers.
             | 
             | Luckily we don't all enjoy the same music, that would be
             | boring as well! :)
        
               | TheMayorOfDunce wrote:
               | I would bet you have encountered a much larger catalog of
               | Charli tracks than you might think. I too was in the same
               | position last year. Then I looked her up and she has
               | actually produced like 30% of the songs played in Urban
               | hat shops, in public places that allow swimming, and in
               | office buildings in the hvac-safe entrance zone between
               | the first and second set of automatic doors.
        
             | saghm wrote:
             | And there are plenty of people who haven't heard of Aaron
             | Judge or Steph Curry. That doesn't change the fact that
             | they've played at an entirely different level than the
             | overwhelming majority of other athletes playing their
             | sport.
             | 
             | My point wasn't that everyone will recognize them, just
             | that there's a pretty clear difference between the most
             | successful few at the top of their domain and the others
             | who might still be able to make a living doing it but
             | aren't superstar-level compared to their peers, and that's
             | independent of whether every single person knows who they
             | are. The parent comment brought to the idea of average
             | players of the major professional sports leagues, and I
             | felt like that was almost missing the context of this
             | article, which is someone who might be the literally have
             | been the most successful artist of last year, not just an
             | average a professional musician.
        
         | thaumasiotes wrote:
         | > Your average NBA, NFL, MLB, NHL athletes are broke 5 years
         | after they are out of the league. Fame, is mostly a curse.
         | 
         | They would also have been broke if they hadn't been athletes.
         | The career doesn't damage their finances. It's excellent for
         | their finances while it lasts, and then they revert to normal.
         | Why would you call that a curse?
        
         | derangedHorse wrote:
         | That just sounds like you're saying the "average" person in all
         | those professions are bad at personal finance. Maybe that's a
         | reflection of society at large. One articles estimates 90% of
         | Americans being in debt[1] so it wouldn't surprise me that this
         | successful subset would fare much better (although I would bet
         | they do when compared to the general population).
         | 
         | Also debt isn't always bad, but most individuals quoted in the
         | study are probably not holding the good type of debt (debt one
         | can easily pay off but doesn't).
         | 
         | [1] https://www.debt.org/faqs/americans-in-debt/demographics/
        
       | ivraatiems wrote:
       | There is a weird assumption people make that somebody as
       | successful as Charli XCX isn't smart because her persona is "I
       | like cocaine and partying," and then are surprised when she can
       | express herself like this. Like she says: "Another thing about
       | being a pop star is that you cannot avoid the fact that some
       | people are simply determined to prove that you are stupid."
       | 
       | Making music at any professional level is extremely hard work.
       | Touring and dancing and hosting shows is even harder. It requires
       | a substantial intellectual capacity and stamina to achieve. You
       | either have these things yourself, or you are propped up entirely
       | by others who have them and are invested in you for money's sake.
       | Given Charli XCX's background, it's not actually surprising that
       | she, in fact, has all the talent, skill, and intellect required
       | to do this stuff herself.
       | 
       | Editing to add: Another place to look to learn that people with
       | this skillset often have very very deep inner lives is Dua Lipa's
       | book club podcast (https://www.service95.com/tag/book-club). As
       | someone who used to run these kinds of in-depth interviews, I can
       | say, she is damn good at it.
        
         | astrange wrote:
         | > There is a weird assumption people make that somebody as
         | successful as Charli XCX isn't smart because her persona is "I
         | like cocaine and partying,"
         | 
         | Considering cocaine is both illegal and has an obviously
         | unethical supply chain, you'd think someone would try, you
         | know, prosecuting her or something.
        
           | ggm wrote:
           | If she's prosecuted before a long queue of others, we'd be
           | entitled to suggest the law is not being applied equally.
           | Start a little higher up the food chain with the politicians.
        
             | astrange wrote:
             | The politicians aren't announcing they use cocaine in
             | public, are they? Even if some of them do sniff a lot on
             | camera.
        
               | nekitamo wrote:
               | They've literally found cocaine at the White House and
               | refused to persecute anyone for it. Rules for thee but
               | not for me.
        
               | astrange wrote:
               | That's not enough evidence to tie it to a person. I
               | remember that one and it seemed like it was dropped by
               | someone on a tour.
        
           | pinkmuffinere wrote:
           | I wonder if I'm missing some sarcasm, but I feel I need to
           | clarify that "I like cocaine and partying" is her _persona_,
           | it isn't necessarily true. It's largely marketing. I feel
           | this was the main point of the article, lol.
        
             | thaumasiotes wrote:
             | Well, the first major point she makes is that she really
             | loves partying.
        
           | amanaplanacanal wrote:
           | In a lot of places drug enforcement is being deprioritized,
           | for good reason. Of course then you run into all the problems
           | with only enforcing against people someone doesn't like.
        
             | XorNot wrote:
             | One of my rules for travel is don't go to places where the
             | laws are basically selectively not enforced for the
             | convenience of tourists.
        
               | bigiain wrote:
               | I have a very similar rule, which is why I can no longer
               | visit my family and friends in the US...
        
               | astrange wrote:
               | Bali and Singapore will execute tourists for having
               | drugs, so you can go there I guess.
        
               | walletdrainer wrote:
               | I'm not sure many tourists are traveling with quantities
               | sufficient to qualify for that treatment.
               | 
               | More likely you'll face a fine or a strong talking to if
               | you get caught at the airport with some small quantity of
               | pot.
        
               | astrange wrote:
               | Asia? A lecture? For marijuana?
               | 
               | You're getting banned for life.
        
           | russelg wrote:
           | What's the point of prosecuting users?
        
             | astrange wrote:
             | That's how you get a cooperating witness against their
             | dealers.
             | 
             | Also, it's illegal.
        
         | jameslk wrote:
         | Charli XCX is diverse and experimental enough that my first
         | instinct would be to assume she's rather intelligent. For
         | example, her collaboration in the PC Music scene comes off
         | rather nerdy and eccentric actually, not exactly pop. And her
         | lyrics usually have more to it than meets the ear, e.g.
         | sometimes intentionally being a commentary on the party persona
         | keeping her distracted from worse things. "I hate the silence
         | (uh oh), that's why the music's always loud"
         | 
         | Of course, that isn't a shallow opinion so perhaps someone
         | unfamiliar to her would think otherwise
        
           | Insanity wrote:
           | Does she write her own lyrics? Or does someone else write
           | those for her?
           | 
           | I'm not saying she is or isn't intelligent, and either way
           | she clearly is talented in some area of music, just wondering
           | if she is a singer or singer/songwriter :)
        
             | thaumasiotes wrote:
             | >> And her lyrics usually have more to it than meets the
             | ear
             | 
             | > Does she write her own lyrics? Or does someone else write
             | those for her?
             | 
             | Even when a singer is performing a song they didn't write,
             | they're often doing that because the song appeals to them.
        
         | bigmealbigmeal wrote:
         | What you're saying is a very common "poptimist" trope of the
         | last decade or two. To say that, actually, these vocalists are
         | highly intelligent and largely responsible for their own
         | success.
         | 
         | Charli XCX, like nearly all popstars, was propped up by the
         | producers and writers who shaped her sound and composed large
         | parts of the music. Producers have been there the whole way. In
         | particular, her blowing up was highly influenced by the
         | stylistic direction, composition, production and sound
         | engineering of people associated with the PC Music record
         | label. The statement that she had good enough taste to have
         | been around these people is rather unfair -- she was around
         | artistic innovators like Sophie, yes, but THEY are the ones
         | that pioneered the sound.
         | 
         | The most common refrain is that popstars often write their
         | music. This is misleading: they write the lyrics, suggest a
         | general vibe, and some rough melodies or chords. And even this
         | is a stretch many times. They are not composing or producing
         | the music in any larger sense, and this is the pivotal part of
         | actually making music.
         | 
         | One famous exception that comes to mind is Grimes, who largely
         | actually /makes/ her own music. She rarely seems to get credit
         | for this.
         | 
         | This is not to say that vocalist popstars don't bring a lot to
         | the table. They do. But what they bring to the table is
         | incredible performance skill and charisma. I think poptimism
         | has gone too far, to the point that we think the product was
         | responsible for creating itself.
        
           | ad_hockey wrote:
           | > The most common refrain is that popstars often write their
           | music. This is misleading: they write the lyrics, suggest a
           | general vibe, and some rough melodies or chords. And even
           | this is a stretch many times. They are not composing or
           | producing the music in any larger sense, and this is the
           | pivotal part of actually making music.
           | 
           | To be fair, if they write the lyrics, define the vibe/feel of
           | the song, and compose the melody and chord progression, then
           | that does sound like the vast majority of the song. What's
           | left - I guess some additional instrumentation, the
           | percussion, production? To me it does sound fair to credit
           | the popstar with having composed the music in this case.
        
             | bigmealbigmeal wrote:
             | The operative word was "rough". They give a few hints;
             | they're not painstakingly mapping out the melodies and
             | chords for every instrument and determining what those
             | instruments are, and how they sound.
             | 
             | If you're writing for a guitar and voice, then you've
             | basically got a song, but pop music is built on sometimes
             | hundreds of different instruments and effects.
        
               | ad_hockey wrote:
               | That seems like quite a high bar, to the extent that I'm
               | not sure we could ever credit anyone with creating a pop
               | song if it applies. Everyone seems comfortable crediting
               | Lennon and McCartney with their various Beatles songs,
               | for example, but were they doing all the things you
               | describe? Did they do more to create those songs than,
               | say, Taylor Swift does for hers? It's not obvious to me
               | that it's the case.
        
               | bigmealbigmeal wrote:
               | Yes, it's absolutely the case for Lennon and McCartney,
               | since they didn't give rough ideas to George Martin to
               | fill in; they specifically wrote the exact melodies for
               | half the instruments involved and exactly how to play
               | them.
               | 
               | You could argue that Harrison and Starr always deserved
               | some of the writing credit, since they often determined
               | their parts, and I wouldn't actually disagree with that
               | -- though Lennon and McCartney were kinda control freaks,
               | so I'm not sure how much leeway was actually given. When
               | they started bringing in extra instruments, again, there
               | is arguably some extra credit to be given to Martin and
               | others, but Lennon and McCartney were still strongly
               | directing what was to be played.
               | 
               | For what it's worth -- and this is going to get me hated
               | even more than my popstar-skepticism -- I don't really
               | like the Beatles that much. But it's transparent that
               | they did more than Taylor Swift because they were
               | specifically and precisely writing the melodies for the
               | instruments being played.
        
               | TheOtherHobbes wrote:
               | Yes, they did. George Martin was an arranger, not a co-
               | writer. Max Martin is a co-writer.
               | 
               | If you gave Lennon and McCartney a couple of guitars, a
               | few days of studio time, a good mood, and no other help
               | you'd probably get a hit. Or at least an interesting
               | song.
               | 
               | If you gave Taylor Swift the same you'd get a demo,
               | maybe. You _might_ get an unassisted hit, but the odds
               | are much lower.
               | 
               | Charli XCX - even more so. Give her a laptop and
               | microphone and some plugins and no producer, and I doubt
               | you'd get much.
               | 
               | Not to say that what she and Dua Lipa do is easy. But
               | they're fundamentally performers and brands for a music
               | production operation.
               | 
               | Creative agency isn't a binary. It's on a spectrum. Some
               | people have very little. Some have a lot. Some have
               | _taste_ that defines the product, even though they 're
               | mostly curating other people's work.
               | 
               | Michael Jackson was notorious for this. He was a
               | phenomenal dancer, an ok vocalist, not much of a
               | practical musician. But he had a strong sense of what he
               | wanted, and he had a theatricality that pulled the whole
               | thing together.
               | 
               | Charli XCX is a version of that. I don't think her appeal
               | is as strong or as universal, and I doubt she has as much
               | agency as Jackson did. But it's the same idea - shape,
               | curate, perform.
        
           | jameslk wrote:
           | > In particular, her blowing up was highly influenced by the
           | stylistic direction, composition, production and sound
           | engineering of people associated with the PC Music record
           | label.
           | 
           | No, if anything Charli XCX was the one that put PC Music on
           | the map. She has been a fairly big name since 2012
           | 
           | > she was around artistic innovators like Sophie, yes, but
           | THEY are the ones that pioneered the sound.
           | 
           | Sophie didn't pioneer the sound of PC Music any more than
           | e.g. AG Cook, QT, Hannah Diamond, Danny L Harle, 100 gecs, or
           | any of the other many artists involved, including Charli XCX
           | 
           | You're talking as if PC Music is some huge label with a lot
           | of help, when it's mostly just AG Cook. He and Charli XCX
           | collaborated on tracks for a couple of Charli's albums
        
             | bigmealbigmeal wrote:
             | Charli XCX was around before PC Music, but the sound she is
             | known for and became famous for originated from PC Music.
             | The fact that she delivered a bit of "minor popstar" cred
             | to them is fine, but the key to my point is that they
             | determined the sound that made her iconic.
             | 
             | Sophie was an example. I didn't see it necessary to talk
             | about all the artists involved in PC Music to make the
             | point that the producers on the label pioneered the sound.
             | 
             | Look at the credits for her albums. She had producers and
             | writers credited on every single song. This IS a lot of
             | help. You're acting like she just did a couple of collabs
             | with AG Cook and that's it. She had many different people
             | helping her on the actual composition and production of
             | every single song.
             | 
             | This is the point being refuted -- that the popstars are
             | geniuses responsible for carrying the burden of their rise.
             | It's mythology. The reality is that they bring performance
             | skills and charisma to the table, some non-awful lyrical
             | skill, and then the lion's share of actually making the
             | music work is done by producers and writers. They would be
             | nowhere without the producers. The producers would be
             | nowhere without the popstars. But it's the most common
             | poptimist mistake to confuse the popstar's charisma for the
             | producer's mastery.
        
               | verall wrote:
               | Your point is clear, but Charli does a lot of production
               | on her albums, so I'm not sure she's the one to make this
               | point about. She's not a once in a lifetime producing
               | genius like Sophie, but she doesn't claim to be. Yung
               | Lean did not produce the sound that made him famous
               | either.
               | 
               | I think in the modern day, due to Internet, access to
               | DAWs, etc, a lot of pop stars actually do/did much more
               | of their own writing and production, see Billie & Finneas
               | or Chappel Roan. It's just much more accessible, there's
               | lots of pretty faces on social media so to really break
               | out, you either need some real connections or real chops.
        
         | thewisenerd wrote:
         | there's this video essay of what makes dua lipa's podcasts
         | good: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QN1rULxGHCA
        
       | IshKebab wrote:
       | > I find that this is often where the stupidity narrative can be
       | born. I've always wondered why someone else's success triggers
       | such rage and anger in certain people and I think it probably all
       | boils down to the fact that the patriarchal society we
       | unfortunately live in has successfully brainwashed us all. We are
       | still trained to hate women, to hate ourselves and to be angry at
       | women if they step out of the neat little box that public
       | perception has put them in. I think subconsciously people still
       | believe there is only room for women to be a certain type of way
       | and once they claim to be one way they better not DARE grow or
       | change or morph into something else.
       | 
       | Nah it's nothing to do with women, it's simple jealousy. Everyone
       | wants to be successful. If they can dismiss successful people as
       | lucky or whatever (tbf some are) then it makes them feel better
       | about their own failure to be successful (they are just as good;
       | they just weren't as lucky).
       | 
       | A natural human tendency. Look at all the people saying Elon Musk
       | isn't _really_ an engineer. Yeah right, he definitely is heavily
       | involved in the high level technical decisions. Yes he 's an
       | arsehole and moderately racist and probably quite lucky too but
       | he _is_ good at his job.
        
         | TechnicolorByte wrote:
         | How's that 2016 promise of LA to NYC autonomous driving goal
         | going for Musk? Or his Cybercab venture going? And the decision
         | to not use LIDAR in his vehicles? Or the Cybertruck's dismal
         | engineering and sales?
        
           | astrange wrote:
           | Musk really is that good and nobody else is capable of
           | building factories in the US, but the skills are in raising
           | money and defeating NIMBYism. Raising money (and starting
           | startups) involves a lot of lies and delusions which are not
           | always adaptive skills.
           | 
           | He fell off when he lost his egirl and became a drug addict.
        
           | wtcactus wrote:
           | - "Hi. I'm an engineer at NASA."
           | 
           | - "(Scoffs). You're an engineer? Yeah, right. What about that
           | Challenger explosion? And how come you don't put anyone on
           | the Moon for 50 years? Engineer..."
           | 
           | That's how your comment reads.
        
         | mrdependable wrote:
         | I think the people who argue about whether Musk is an engineer
         | are the people who look up to him as a sort of Tony Stark
         | figure. He certainly isn't Tony Stark, but then again, no one
         | is.
        
         | justsomehnguy wrote:
         | > Nah it's nothing to do with women, it's simple jealousy.
         | 
         | On the same note here. It's quite interesting what women are
         | quick to attribute any negative behaviour or feeling against
         | them as a sexism and maybe this is a result of some _popular_
         | culture behaviour.
         | 
         | [0] https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=42057441
        
         | nprateem wrote:
         | I thought the same thing.
         | 
         | As for Musk... tbh I think as the vast majority of us want
         | things from other people we temper our behaviour.
         | 
         | But when you have enough fame and money to do what you want the
         | filters can come off and we can be the selfish nasty people we
         | really are. And some people obviously like to play on that too
         | to get air time or just prove a point.
        
           | IshKebab wrote:
           | Yeah it seems like rich people lose some of the feedback from
           | society that helps keep people relatively "normal" - you can
           | see it in the names of their children for example (not just
           | Musk).
        
         | squigz wrote:
         | > Yes he's an arsehole and moderately racist and probably quite
         | lucky too but he is good at his job.
         | 
         | So one can be a massive piece of shit as long as they're good
         | at their job?
         | 
         | Many of us here probably have worked with people like that.
         | It's not a good environment to work in.
        
           | bigstrat2003 wrote:
           | Nobody said that. OP's point was to say "he is good at his
           | job" as a counter to the people who say he isn't good as his
           | job (i.e. "he isn't a real engineer"), not as a counter to
           | people who think he's a jerk.
        
             | squigz wrote:
             | Then I'm not sure why the points immediately preceding that
             | are relevant.
        
       | bitwize wrote:
       | The Dire Straits song "Money for Nothing" is one of my all-time
       | favorite 80s hits. Mark Knopfler pretty much composed the lyrics
       | simply by transcribing some remarks he overheard from blue-collar
       | servicemen working at an appliance store, and adjusting them a
       | bit to make them scan and rhyme.
       | 
       | The deliberate irony is that contrary to the servicemen's belief
       | that rock stars live a life of ease, the life of a musician can
       | be grueling. You have to spend years mastering your instrument(s)
       | _and then_ win the record-deal lottery; after which your time is
       | pretty much divided between being in the studio recording, on
       | tour performing and promoting the album on a round-the-clock
       | schedule, and with the rise of MTV shooting music videos. It 's
       | no wonder rock stars are prone to hedonism; they probably think
       | they have to drink deeply of relaxation and pleasure while they
       | have the opportunity, in order to reset and be ready for the next
       | album, the next concert tour, the next press event...
        
         | pan69 wrote:
         | In similar vein, the U2 song Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me, Kill
         | Me has similar self-deprecating lyrics on what it is to be a
         | pop star.                 They want you to be Jesus
         | They'll go down on one knee       But they'll want their money
         | back       If you're alive at thirty-three
         | 
         | https://genius.com/U2-hold-me-thrill-me-kiss-me-kill-me-lyri...
        
         | pardon_me wrote:
         | They try to sell your body and your soul It's the price you pay
         | for rock 'n roll And no-one understands it how you feel For
         | it's so unreal, oh, it's so unreal
         | 
         | Baby, don't you cry for me It's an illusion, just an illusion
         | 
         | BZN - Just An Illusion https://genius.com/Bzn-just-an-illusion-
         | lyrics
        
       | ggm wrote:
       | The James Blunt documentary has similar qualities of the insanity
       | and the banality of fame. "You look just like..." type
       | commentary, from ordinary encounters. Both reviled and admired,
       | he managed to leverage haters on Twitter into an image of self
       | deprecating humour. Combined with some PTSD from his army career
       | and stage effects.
       | 
       | Ed Sheeran gives off what i suspect is a very carefully managed
       | vibe of ordinariness. If it's not curated it's very well done.
        
         | gizajob wrote:
         | His music has that vibe through and through.
        
       | gishh wrote:
       | > I've always wondered why someone else's success triggers such
       | rage and anger in certain people and I think it probably all
       | boils down to the fact that the patriarchal society we
       | unfortunately live in has successfully brainwashed us all. We are
       | still trained to hate women, to hate ourselves and to be angry at
       | women if they step out of the neat little box that public
       | perception has put them in.
       | 
       | I assume roughly half of pop stars are male, give or take. Or,
       | given the quote and speaking in generalities, at least roughly
       | half of successful people are male. I'm sure we can all name
       | wildly successful males who garner the same hate she is speaking
       | about.
       | 
       | I don't think it's patriarchy, I think it's simply jealously,
       | insecurity, and judgmental feelings all wrapped up into a big
       | ball of hate.
       | 
       | Or it's the patriarchy. Just doesn't make sense for the point
       | trying to be made.
        
         | bigiain wrote:
         | > I assume roughly half of pop stars are male, give or take.
         | 
         | I'd question that assumption. My gut feel says there are way
         | more women pop stars?
         | 
         | I did a very quick bit of research, and maybe we're both wrong.
         | 
         | https://wealthygorilla.com/richest-singers-world/
         | 
         | Splits up as 31 men to 19 women on their top 50 richest singers
         | list. So closer to 2/3rds men that half.
         | 
         | I did realise while counting, that my gut feel wouldn't have
         | included a lot of those men as "pop stars", in retrospect
         | probably because my interpretation of "pop music" leans heavily
         | towards women, and rightly or wrongly I'd label at least half
         | the men on that list as "rock stars" instead (and very few of
         | the women).
        
           | rkomorn wrote:
           | Maybe it's related to the decades during which I grew up, but
           | I'd say "rock star" had a better connotation than "pop star"
           | when I was growing up.
           | 
           | "Pop stars" contained a lot of boy/girl bands or solo artists
           | who "don't write their own songs/music" (among many other
           | accusations of not being "real musicians").
        
         | rubenvanwyk wrote:
         | I also don't understand why people don't ascribe some
         | inherently bad behaviours to human nature. Everyone knows
         | people aren't perfect, but somehow we have to blame some
         | institutions or perceived societal phenomena instead of just
         | acknowledging that we are, in our very nature, flawed - but
         | capable of great change, and should just all endeavour to "be
         | better".
        
           | sandspar wrote:
           | Her job is dependent on being likeable to a mass audience. If
           | you want to be likeable to a mass audience then it's most
           | effective to repeat bromides.
        
         | bloodyplonker22 wrote:
         | It is ironic that she talks about "the patriarchy" brainwashing
         | people. I have serious doubts that she came up with the thought
         | to blame it on the "patriarchy" herself.
        
       | sfblah wrote:
       | I had to go on Youtube to listen to some of the music mentioned
       | here, as I'm pretty out of the loop on it. Given what I heard I
       | honestly think we're basically at the point where AI can generate
       | equivalent or even better music. It's just very simple and
       | doesn't feel particularly innovative or noteworthy.
       | 
       | Point being, I think it's likely this person is one of the last
       | pop stars.
       | 
       | Actually, as I'm writing this, I realized that probably the music
       | being produced by this person is actually done by a computer. So,
       | maybe she's in the first wave of totally artificial pop stars.
        
         | nprateem wrote:
         | Maybe you could tell all her fans how stupid they are and
         | shouldn't enjoy her music.
         | 
         | Why not save them from themselves with some of your approved
         | recommendations?
        
           | sfblah wrote:
           | With pleasure!
        
         | empressplay wrote:
         | The novelty in pop music is not usually in the harmony. The
         | novelty is usually in the presentation. The idea is that you
         | hook the audience with familiarity (nostalgia) and then keep
         | them with a novel expression of it. In recent years, this means
         | really strange synth patches and vocal effects.
        
         | jameslk wrote:
         | It makes me sad to think you have formed this opinion on her
         | more than decade long career that spans a variety of genres and
         | many collaborations based on a few brat songs you may have
         | listened to
        
           | sfblah wrote:
           | I'm open to changing my view! Please give some
           | recommendations.
        
             | jameslk wrote:
             | Music is a subjective thing, but what I like about Charli
             | XCX is her albums have completely different sound from
             | album to album, but are consistently fun to listen to. As
             | if it puts you in a certain energetic mood. Listening to
             | albums in full you can tell many tracks experiment with the
             | genre. For example, she brought a niche thing like hyperpop
             | to mainstream listeners in her prior 2 albums before brat.
             | 
             | These are some that I like from various albums:
             | 
             | https://youtu.be/CRYYBDG1b4Y
             | 
             | https://youtu.be/f-NS9hnmWN4
             | 
             | https://youtu.be/JsYJYUQgT7k
             | 
             | https://youtu.be/chSZCtLrgz8
             | 
             | https://youtu.be/5f5A4DnGtis
        
         | sethaurus wrote:
         | > _Actually, as I 'm writing this, I realized that probably the
         | music being produced by this person is actually done by a
         | computer. So, maybe she's in the first wave of totally
         | artificial pop stars._
         | 
         | Her main collaborator, co-creator and producer of many years is
         | the artist AG Cook, who founded the label PC Music. He appears
         | often in her music videos and gets mentioned in her lyrics. His
         | own solo work plays a lot with pairing the artificial and the
         | organic, taking the "slick" aesthetics of electronic pop to
         | abrasive extremes and placing it next to vulnerability and
         | gentleness.
         | 
         | This is my favourite piece of his work (both the song and the
         | video): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kH2wQ5speuU
         | 
         | Charli's work or his might not suit your taste! But these are
         | real people doing interesting stuff and playing with the form.
         | It's not fake.
        
       | WalterBright wrote:
       | > especially when your old friends mock and ridicule you for
       | caring about something absolutely pointless.
       | 
       | My dad flew 32 missions over Germany. He watched men die. 80% of
       | his cohort did not return. He expected to die and made his peace
       | with it. He told me once that when he returned home, he was
       | struck by the trivial problems people had and obsessed over.
       | After all, they weren't flying a mission tomorrow with near
       | certain death.
       | 
       | He said whenever he felt down, he'd recall the men that never had
       | a chance to grow old, and his problems would melt away.
        
         | WalterBright wrote:
         | I sometimes wonder what my widower grandfather thought, sending
         | his only son off to war.
        
           | BrandoElFollito wrote:
           | I wondered about that as well. I would do whatever I can to
           | avoid my sons going to war because these wars are fought for
           | interests that are completely remote.
           | 
           | I can imagine resistance when you are invaded (and still, you
           | need to weigh your real chances). Sending someone to Africa
           | from France to protect some interests there, well not that
           | much.
        
             | WalterBright wrote:
             | Japan attacked Pearl Harbor, Hitler declared war on the US,
             | Hitler was allied with Japan, and Hitler was sinking
             | American shipping.
        
               | BrandoElFollito wrote:
               | Yes, in the case of WW2 this is a "defense" war. But the
               | next ones were not.
               | 
               | My comment was general - I am French and we send our army
               | mostly to Africa to secure our sources of various
               | minerals. Or to Asia in the 70s. We did not go to Iraq
               | but that would have been another fight for oil (this
               | time).
               | 
               | Western countries have not been attacked since WW2, but
               | it also have been busy (same as the US)
        
         | LanceH wrote:
         | > He told me once that when he returned home, he was struck by
         | the trivial problems people had and obsessed over.
         | 
         | I always feel put in a position when I'm in an interview and
         | they ask about handling pressure in the workplace.
        
         | abc123abc123 wrote:
         | I always feel like this is elitist (oh, look at your silly
         | little problem, I risked death, and you are complaining about
         | rent.
         | 
         | And I always respond with, yes, not everyone risked death, and
         | they do have a right to complain about rent. You did it because
         | of your own free choice.
         | 
         | Another aspect of this silly stance is that if we always
         | compare with death, nothing ever gets done. It is perfectly
         | reasonable to have everything, and still aim towards other
         | goals. If one is not risking life, you are well justified in
         | complaining about the traffic jam.
        
           | mettamage wrote:
           | Well yea sure. But also look at death though. What does any
           | uncomfortable thing mean in the face of death?
           | 
           | Not much. And this is coming from someone who hasn't
           | voluntarily faced death or consciously experienced the threat
           | of it.
           | 
           | I respect both views. I guess it takes some Janusian thinking
           | skills [1], for me at least, but both perspectives are worth
           | it.
           | 
           | [1] https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/creative-
           | exploration...
        
             | WalterBright wrote:
             | Anytime you wake up in the morning and are able to get out
             | of bed and stand up is a beautiful day.
             | 
             | I've never wanted to transfer my brain into a machine.
             | Isn't it wonderful to feel the floor under your feet? To
             | smell the air? To taste a steak? To hear the bees? To see
             | the leaves? To hold your partner?
             | 
             | Every day is an opportunity to enjoy your life.
             | 
             | I don't really know what kind of a man I am, because I have
             | never volunteered to face death.
        
           | baubino wrote:
           | It's less "look at your silly problem" and more "how can I
           | fully appreciate life." I see that perspective as grounding,
           | not elitist. The previous commenter's dad is not telling
           | others what to do or how to live; he's deciding for himself
           | how _he_ wants to live.
        
           | throwup238 wrote:
           | _> You did it because of your own free choice._
           | 
           | Since when is getting drafted a free choice? Over 60% of US
           | soldiers in WWWI had no choice whatsoever.
        
             | richardfulop wrote:
             | Over 6,000 Americans were imprisoned during WWII for
             | refusing induction without recognized objection status.
        
             | WalterBright wrote:
             | My dad had a draft exemption because he was a mechanic at
             | Lockheed building airplanes. He volunteered.
             | 
             | All the B-17 crews were volunteers.
        
         | Balgair wrote:
         | https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jx-fnR5G1cs
         | 
         | The cereal aisle scene from _Hurt Locker_ always did it for me
        
         | nikhizzle wrote:
         | Thanks for sharing this. Needed something meaningful this
         | morning.
        
           | WalterBright wrote:
           | You're welcome. He also remained in contact with his crew
           | until their deaths.
        
       | joshcsimmons wrote:
       | It is correct to be skeptical of people who parlay their fame in
       | one domain into another. The most powerful man in the US right
       | now is just a reality TV star.
       | 
       | At best, it allows "celebrities" to hop into any domain of their
       | choosing without any real qualification or having earned their
       | way in that particular field.
        
         | bdangubic wrote:
         | what qualification does one need to be US President (besides
         | being born in the US and of certain age)? celebrities certainly
         | won't be doing any open heart surgeries anytime soon :) so
         | there are things you absolutely do not need any qualitications
         | for (Actor/Actress, US President) and there those you do
         | (Surgeon, Attorney...)
        
           | squigz wrote:
           | The idea that you shouldn't need qualifications - which,
           | might I add, is not the same as certification - to be the
           | President of The United States is a wild one.
        
             | bdangubic wrote:
             | I am not sure if there is a single country now (or there
             | was one ever) where there were any
             | requirements/qualifications needed to be the President
        
           | chickensong wrote:
           | You need to be rich and well connected.
        
             | bdangubic wrote:
             | Obama was neither
        
               | harvey9 wrote:
               | He might have started out as neither but to get a run at
               | the party nomination required that he developed some good
               | connections first.
        
               | bdangubic wrote:
               | yea for sure POTUS (or even just party candidate) will
               | eventually be both you you don't need to be either to
               | begin with (though it obviously helps, more and more
               | countries are choosing billionaires to run them :) )
        
         | snowwrestler wrote:
         | Not just fame and celebrity. Any major success occurs within a
         | certain narrow context, and when people stray outside that
         | context they are not necessarily going to be better than anyone
         | else. There are plenty of examples of business leaders,
         | scientists, etc who tried to hop domains and fell on their
         | faces.
        
         | thaumasiotes wrote:
         | > The most powerful man in the US right now is just a reality
         | TV star.
         | 
         | That's a strange characterization; he was famous across the
         | country before there was even a concept of "reality TV".
        
           | e40 wrote:
           | He was known by an order of magnitude more people after he
           | became a reality tv star.
        
             | bnjms wrote:
             | Right. He parlayed his fame into reality stardom.
             | 
             | I added it's a word way to put it. He became more famous
             | generally but he was already known to NY and powerful
             | people.
        
             | thaumasiotes wrote:
             | Really? In the 70s he would have been known to the
             | population that read newspaper comic strips. He's been a
             | household name continuously from then to now.
        
       | coro_1 wrote:
       | This was great stream of consciousness. Sub-stack is more
       | appealing now.
        
       | mediumsmart wrote:
       | The reality of being labeled a consumer by a Popstar is _unreal_
        
       | sandspar wrote:
       | Her essay makes it seem like she's mostly powerless. She gets
       | shuttled around from place to place because other people make
       | money by using her as a prop. She gets paid lots of money and is
       | given freedom, in a sense, but it's freedom to gorge herself on
       | basic pleasures like attention, drugs, and wealth. Overall it
       | seems like a childlike existence.
        
         | dwroberts wrote:
         | This is what makes the 'successful' parts slightly off to me. I
         | get that she _is_ successful, she is well known, presumably
         | made good money etc - but in some sense it's the machinery
         | behind her that has been successful in using her. Everything
         | she is, is just a brand created and owned by someone else.
        
       | anal_reactor wrote:
       | > You're in transit, you're going somewhere but the journey
       | itself takes up the majority of the experience.
       | 
       | That's how most people function. People work their asses off so
       | that they can do something fun two weeks a year.
       | 
       | > Another thing about being a pop star is that you cannot avoid
       | the fact that some people are simply determined to prove that you
       | are stupid.
       | 
       | Because even though people clearly have different levels of
       | intelligence, saying this out loud goes against values of the
       | society, and keeping the society together is more important than
       | being truthful. This is one of those things that "normies"
       | understand subconsciously but never articulate, while autists
       | rarely understand because it's never articulated.
       | 
       | > Another thing about being a pop star is that you cannot avoid
       | the fact that some people are simply determined to prove that you
       | are stupid
       | 
       | Pop star gets successful by playing a role of a stupid person.
       | Some people think she's actually stupid. It doesn't take a degree
       | in social sciences to connect the dots.
       | 
       | > I've always wondered why someone else's success triggers such
       | rage and anger
       | 
       | Jealously has existed since the dawn of time. Various cultures
       | have sayings along "nothing makes one happier than someone else's
       | misery".
       | 
       | > the patriarchal society
       | 
       | I've noticed that many people who see themselves as oppressed get
       | tunnel vision and attribute lots of unrelated problems to said
       | oppression. This is one of those subconscious biases that exist
       | because having them gives you massive social advantage because
       | you can get all the pity you want.
       | 
       | > Over recent years some people seem to have developed a
       | connection between fame and moral responsibility that I've never
       | really understood.
       | 
       | Rich and famous people have power. They're expected to use that
       | power for good regardless of how they got the power.
        
         | decimalenough wrote:
         | No, she means _literally_ being in transit from point A to
         | point B. On a tour bus, in an airline lounge, on a plane, in a
         | cab, in some random hotel, backstage waiting to go on stage.
         | 
         | I did 100% business travel for a couple of a years, and it was
         | pretty grueling despite mostly being stationed with the same
         | customer for a couple of months. At the Charli XCX level, you
         | may be doing 4 gigs in 4 different cities in 3 days:
         | 
         | https://toursetlist.com/charli-xcx-tour-setlist/
        
       | MomsAVoxell wrote:
       | I've known many pop stars (have worked in the pro audio industry
       | for decades) and one thing that is common among them is that they
       | are very interesting people. Very rarely interested - mostly
       | involved in being interesting.
       | 
       | I think there has to be a balance, personally. If you spend your
       | life trying to be as interesting as possible, it gets very
       | spiritually depleting. If you do take an honest interest in
       | others, though, the pop-star factor gets multiplied.
       | 
       | So many times I've seen fans congregate around a star, struck as
       | they were, to be regaled with that stars new interesting thing,
       | or entertaining acts. Sure, they walk away with the experience.
       | But, whenever the pop star turns it around and takes more of an
       | interest in the other person - wow! The fan factor multiplies
       | significantly. (Incidentally, this works not just for pop stars
       | but also anyone at all, actually.)
       | 
       | That said, I don't think being a pop star is a particularly
       | healthy activity. The exhaustion levels once the green room door
       | is closed are pretty obvious, and the means of healing from
       | weeks, or months and months of continuous, daily, "being
       | interesting" takes a huge toll.
       | 
       | The pop stars I've known, intimately, who have a strong family
       | that just treat them like regular people, are usually the
       | healthiest. The few stars I consider friends, as in we could call
       | each other just to hang out and chat now and then, are really the
       | ones who find this balance early in their life.
       | 
       | I also have a somewhat famous actress in my family, and she is an
       | extremely tiring person to be around, even though she has
       | millions of adoring fans, because there is a continual vibe of
       | being as interesting as possible, no matter the circumstances,
       | and this is exhausting for those of us who live with her on a
       | regular basis. Inter-family gossip always takes note of her
       | attention levels.
        
         | NaomiLehman wrote:
         | I would guess that the balance is difficult for regular people
         | and impossible for famous people.
        
           | MomsAVoxell wrote:
           | It's not impossible - it just requires attention and is a
           | part of the responsibilities of the job, in my opinion.
           | 
           | But even regular people try too hard to be interesting
           | sometimes. Attention is a currency in our culture; its too
           | often traded poorly.
        
             | NaomiLehman wrote:
             | I don't know what the famous people are actually feeling
             | and struggling with. I don't know how much of what they are
             | saying is an act and how much is real.
             | 
             | 2025 example: Chappell Roan - I have no idea if she is
             | genuine or is this a very cleverly manufactured brand.
             | Outbursts at fans, bipolar disorder, anxiety, etc.
        
               | MomsAVoxell wrote:
               | Culture is as culture does. I dare say that the in-group
               | for any star has their buttons - whether the conditions
               | to push those buttons are legitimate or otherwise, would
               | Chappell Roan be on your mind if she wasn't pushing your
               | buttons? Marketing people know this mechanism all too
               | well; it is a large factor for why we have billion-dollar
               | tabloid machines.
               | 
               | Needless to say, the pop industry is all about creating a
               | facsimile of a thing, if not the thing itself. You're not
               | buying bread from these stars - you're buying a picture
               | of life.
        
       | dbspin wrote:
       | While this is a fascinating perspective, I find this analysis of
       | the source of hate online to be under-examined and self serving.
       | 
       | Sure, any public figure will be the target of hatred, negative
       | projection, ridicule. And doubtless that's doubly true for female
       | celebrities. But much of this is driven by envy - envy fuelled by
       | the gilded age level of inequality we're currently experiencing.
       | By the performative nature of conspicuous consumption by pop
       | stars. By their ubiquity and elevation to celestial rather than
       | mere celebrity status.
       | 
       | There's another factor she fails to recognise. Charlie XCX's
       | music is woeful. 'Pop' in the sense of ephemeral, unoriginal,
       | commercial, rather than merely popular. That, combined with her
       | pretension to art makes her vast wealth and celebrity irksome in
       | a way that the success of more original, avant garde or obviously
       | 'artistic' musicians from David Bowie to Imogen Heap is not.
        
         | tormeh wrote:
         | It's just entertainment. I don't think there's anything to it.
         | The four chord song over and over. We all want some sort of
         | excitement or maybe magic, and these superstars give it to us.
         | The reality distortion fields around them is attractive in and
         | of themself as an escape from our boring lives. Being
         | 'artistic' is not in itself a good thing. It could just mean
         | you take yourself too seriously. If you advance the art somehow
         | - cool. If you're just being weird for the sake of
         | originality... I guess some people like that as well.
        
           | dbspin wrote:
           | > Being 'artistic' is not in itself a good thing.
           | 
           | It's as much a part of being human as love or work or dance
           | or any other culturally universal meaningful activity. And
           | making art is significantly more important for our personal
           | development and wellbeing than consuming entertainment.
           | 
           | > We all want some sort of excitement or maybe magic, and
           | these superstars give it to us.
           | 
           | You're not describing magic, you're describing succour. The
           | avoidance of pain. It's not worthless by any means, but it's
           | low down on the pyramid of needs. It's a testament to the
           | diminished expectations and value inversions of our culture
           | that we misperceive fluff as worthwhile, and sincere creative
           | expression as 'taking yourself too seriously'.
        
         | verall wrote:
         | Do you think Charli's music is unoriginal and commercial?
        
       | brabel wrote:
       | > We are still trained to hate women, to hate ourselves and to be
       | angry at women if they step out of the neat little box that
       | public perception has put them in.
       | 
       | I really don't see this. Female singers seem to be enjoying about
       | as much freedom to do and act in whatever way they please as it's
       | possible without basically letting them get away with criminal
       | behavior... and even then many openly talk about doing drugs and
       | other stuff that would get anyone else in trouble. Is it possible
       | I am blind to some patriarchal society traits that make us "hate"
       | women and she's right about that?? If not, why some women still
       | believe that??
        
         | NaomiLehman wrote:
         | Few female pop stars manage to gain success without appealing
         | to the "male gaze" even if they produce stuff for women as
         | their target demographic. On the contrary people mostly don't
         | care if male musicians are hot - Ed Sheeran or make very
         | questionable decisions - Drake.
         | 
         | Look at top 20 male and female popular artists on Spotify and
         | try to think how many of them are agreeable and objectively
         | good looking.
         | 
         | https://kworb.net/spotify/listeners.html
         | 
         | I don't know know if this answers your question. I also might
         | have a huge blind spot, open to talking about this.
        
           | amenhotep wrote:
           | The majority of the popular male musicians there are
           | comparably photogenic to the females, Sheeran is really the
           | major exception and he's not even ugly, just Distinctive in a
           | way that's easily matched by Sia and personally I'd say both
           | Gaga and Eilish.
           | 
           | It just looks like pretty people are in general a lot more
           | successful, which is unsurprising. The attempt to apply a
           | sexist lens to it is a bit tortured.
        
             | NaomiLehman wrote:
             | i absolutely don't agree that they are in the same ballpark
             | of being photogenic when we look at top 50 and estimate
             | averages - this could probably be easy to measure with a
             | jailbroken LLM.
             | 
             | the difference is even bigger when I look at agreeability -
             | this is more difficult to measure.
        
               | k__ wrote:
               | Who in the top 20 wouldn't you consider conventionally
               | attractive?
        
           | brabel wrote:
           | But I was talking about is that she believes there's a hate
           | of women, that they must fit some preconceived image... and
           | what I see in real pop stars is the total opposite . They
           | seem to do all they can to look scandalous and shocking. They
           | mostly go for the hot female image but some don't. Being good
           | looking yes is an expectation but how does that have anything
           | to do with hating women and patriarchy??
        
         | low_tech_love wrote:
         | I also think she missed the point there. Normal people bust
         | their asses on a daily basis to do a good job at whatever it is
         | they do, with more often than not, under rewarding compensation
         | and a lot of problems to overcome. I think it is normal for
         | average people to think that it isn't fair that some of these
         | people are getting so much overwhelmingly good stuff for things
         | that can be reasonably seen as futile.
        
         | imtringued wrote:
         | It's the other way around. Female privilege is invisible, so
         | you can easily claim the opposite.
         | 
         | Female privilege can be used to bend men to a woman's will.
         | It's kind of like a resource curse like oil exports. You can
         | cheaply import anything and pay for it by exporting oil. This
         | means your country doesn't have to develop independent
         | production, which makes it dependent on the imports of another
         | country. When things are going wrong internally, you can always
         | point at an external locust of power. The problem is that your
         | trade partners are no longer exporting their products to you
         | and they obviously know that this will hurt your country. They
         | are making a calculated decision against you. You are powerless
         | and it's because the other countries have been
         | hoarding/accumulating power and are using this power to keep
         | you powerless. The classic communist excuse that it's the
         | capitalist sanctions that are the problem.
         | 
         | As I said, the problem is a lack of an internal locust of
         | control. The externalisation, no matter how convincing, is a
         | way to distract from the actual problem. The fact that there
         | are gender specific boogiemen doesn't really change anything.
        
       | rsanek wrote:
       | > Another thing about being a pop star is that you cannot avoid
       | the fact that some people are simply determined to prove that you
       | are stupid... subconsciously people still believe there is only
       | room for women to be a certain type of way
       | 
       | Is this limited to females or even those in pop? I think any star
       | is at risk here. I'd argue male athletes are targets at least as
       | often. See: public discourse on Travis Kelce.
        
       | low_tech_love wrote:
       | Say what you will about this piece, I didn't detect any AI in it
       | and for that I thank Charli. I've been desperately for any
       | original thoughts whatever that come out of a human being's brain
       | and in that sense it was an interesting read. However the real
       | pearl was the link to Lou Reed's interview, what a gem! It got me
       | into a rabbit hole of watching Lou Reed making "fun" of obnoxious
       | journalists on YouTube and I haven't laughed this much in a long
       | time. It also reminded me of this classic one from Iggy Pop:
       | https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=78S0yrMLfTU&pp=ygUcaWdneSBwb3A...
       | 
       | Edit: Actually that link is incomplete, this is also important:
       | https://youtu.be/YJEvZHN9E6s
        
       | wiz21c wrote:
       | I was fortunate enough to be somewhat on television as a
       | geek/nerd for 2-3 years. I was not famous, didn't make money out
       | of it.
       | 
       | It happened from time to time that people recognized me when at
       | the groceries or some other place. I always had found that very
       | awkward. These people have an image of you, they know a bit about
       | you, they like you but on the other hand you absolutely don't
       | know them. I did my best to be welcoming and had genuine interest
       | in who they were but the asymetry was very awkward to me.
       | 
       | Also, people close to your friends also know you are "on tv" and
       | then you can feel they look at you differently. It's subtle
       | (after all, I was just a verrrrrrrrrryy minor figure) but it's
       | there.
       | 
       | But what I've learned a lot is that once you see the TV and some
       | famous people from the inside, you realize that they are much
       | more normal than what you thought. Sure they've got some talent
       | you sure don't have, but for the rest they're human: some are
       | cool, some are not, some funny some boring, etc.
        
       | Balgair wrote:
       | If any 'normal' person wants to experience the smallest titch of
       | this, go take your best American accent to someplace _remote_
       | (but not in North America or tourist-Europe).
       | 
       | The locals there will try to pin which celebrity you are or if
       | they have seen you before on the television.
       | 
       | It's not a 100% thing, maybe a 10% thing, of course.
       | 
       | But the more remote you are, the higher the hit rate.
       | 
       | It's because they know they are remote and off the paths, so they
       | think that the only reason that an American is there is because
       | they are filming something. Note this doesn't work with French
       | speaking areas.
        
       | derangedHorse wrote:
       | > I don't view what I do as a 'job' > doing an actual real
       | service industry job
       | 
       | I see a lot of other figures in pop culture echo this sentiment.
       | The need to downplay the effort involved because the payoff is
       | disproportionate to the effort/payoff ratio of most other jobs.
       | In a job where mass public perception dictates success I can see
       | why she would feel the need to include this, but I hope she
       | doesn't truly believe it. A globally recognized chef who gets
       | paid millions for their work isn't downplaying his effort because
       | of how disproportionately valued it is, so neither should a pop
       | star.
       | 
       | > patriarchal society we unfortunately live in has successfully
       | brainwashed us all
       | 
       | I'm not totally subscribed to this "patriarchy" narrative. I
       | think any "brainwashing" (or establishment of cultural norms) is
       | from a mix of figures from both genders alike. I don't think it's
       | a symptom of the perceived problem of higher positions mainly
       | holding men in power. I do agree with her assessment with there
       | being people postured to give an excessive amount of hate to
       | women who don't fit their societal expectations vs. men who
       | don't, so I'll give her that.
       | 
       | With that said, this was still a good read. I'm not too familiar
       | with Charli XCX but I have a lot of respect for her using her
       | free time to share her experiences. I hope to see more from her
       | in the future.
        
       | MiddleEndian wrote:
       | One thing I found clever about certain celebrities, like Dolly
       | Parton and Guy Fieri, is that their public images are so distinct
       | but transient (Dolly Parton has a wig, Guy Fieri looks like Guy
       | Fieri) that I imagine if they dressed down like normal people,
       | they'd be able to blend in with the public.
        
       | lazarus01 wrote:
       | Very weak writing.
       | 
       | There's nothing in there that I couldn't capture with a very
       | basic imagination.
       | 
       | While I appreciate how women face misogyny, we have made great
       | progress where women are showing better progression than men in
       | income and career achievement. I am a father to a young woman and
       | feel our social group is full of very successful and inspiring
       | women that we all appreciate to be around.
       | 
       | The author does women a disservice, instead of being inspiring
       | with her climb to success, she's venting that the world is just
       | not good enough.
       | 
       | To become a pop star comes from pure luck and what is marketable
       | in the moment. For this case, the observations are more of a
       | cliche than anything interesting.
        
         | Cheer2171 wrote:
         | I thought her writing was 10x better than your comment, which
         | was completely unoriginal, retreads old cultural tropes, and
         | added nothing of value.
         | 
         | Of course you father of daughters doesn't think she's a good
         | feminist role model for your girls. Thank you, good sir, for
         | being an actual feminist. How brave.
         | 
         | Tell me more about what you think would be a service to women?
         | Do you have a Substack where I can read your manly wisdom?
        
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