[HN Gopher] Fine dining restaurants researching guests to make t...
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       Fine dining restaurants researching guests to make their dinner
       unforgettable
        
       Author : borski
       Score  : 37 points
       Date   : 2025-07-13 15:30 UTC (7 hours ago)
        
 (HTM) web link (www.sfgate.com)
 (TXT) w3m dump (www.sfgate.com)
        
       | pseingatl wrote:
       | Just like China's social credit system.
        
         | bigyabai wrote:
         | Well sure, but for private enterprise.
        
         | ethan_smith wrote:
         | There's a fundamental difference - restaurants checking if you
         | like wine on Instagram to enhance service is optional and
         | consequence-free, while China's system is mandatory with
         | significant legal and financial penalties.
        
           | steveBK123 wrote:
           | Surely once this becomes the norm and more business do it, it
           | will only ever be used for good.. right.. ?
        
           | bluescrn wrote:
           | Until they start denying people service because they
           | expressed support for the wrong political party or took the
           | wrong side on a divisive social issue.
        
         | satvikpendem wrote:
         | Their social credit system doesn't actually exist in the way
         | most people think it does, it was a top down mandate that each
         | province was expected to implement in their own way, often
         | without coordination.
         | 
         | https://youtu.be/Kqov6F00KMc
        
         | borski wrote:
         | Except nothing like it? This article isn't about filtering
         | guests out, but about creating additional tailored experiences
         | to those who do attend.
        
       | alganet wrote:
       | It is expected that filtering based on digital content will
       | become a thing for a while. It's one of those obvious, but
       | misguided, uses of recent technologies.
       | 
       | I don't know about restaurants, but in regards to other kinds of
       | silos, it is likely that those filters will go down once quality
       | data availability becomes a problem.
       | 
       | In the restaurant analogy, you can say that if the salloon is
       | empty, they'll let people in because they can't survive without
       | them.
        
       | allears wrote:
       | I would never eat at a restaurant that would let people like me
       | in.
       | 
       | (Thanks, Groucho)
        
       | prasadjoglekar wrote:
       | The title seems ominous but the article itself is about how a
       | fancy restaurant will go out of it's way to make you feel
       | special. They're perusing your social media for clues.
       | 
       | In the past your spouse or kid would call and let the maitre'd
       | know it was special; now I guess it's a job for someone on staff.
        
         | steveBK123 wrote:
         | Until some YC backed SaaS LLM AI automates the process and it
         | becomes table stakes. Then they find other uses for it..
        
           | hungmung wrote:
           | I'm waiting for fully automated writing style recognition
           | that finds all your throwaway accounts and sends you a
           | shakedown letter.
        
             | satvikpendem wrote:
             | _Reproducing Hacker News writing style fingerprinting_ , by
             | antirez of Redis fame
             | 
             | https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=43705632
        
               | steveBK123 wrote:
               | It's really great that the most successful people in
               | Silicon Valley disregard the social implications of their
               | work. Arguably that's what makes them so successful.
        
               | satvikpendem wrote:
               | This was possible before, as the post shows with a
               | previous HN post, nothing to do with Silicon Valley.
        
               | theideaofcoffee wrote:
               | 'Silicon Valley' here is just proxy for 'self-delusional
               | tech glitterati with a cheap veneer of enlightenment'.
        
             | markus_zhang wrote:
             | I suspect HN is already checking IP.
        
           | closewith wrote:
           | Unlawful in the EU, thankfully. The US seriously needs to
           | revaluate it's data protection laws.
        
           | brookst wrote:
           | Are we really doing the slippery slope dangers of a high end
           | restaurant going out of their way to delight?
        
             | atmavatar wrote:
             | If they're already vetting your social media, they can also
             | start refusing service based upon religious or political
             | leanings displayed in your posts. No slope (slippery or
             | otherwise) is required.
             | 
             | Imagine making reservations for a family dinner but being
             | turned away at the door because the restaurant found a post
             | (in support/critical) of Trump or one of his policies. The
             | restaurant would be completely within its rights to do so,
             | even if it seems a stupid and pointless business decision
             | to cut clientele in half.
        
               | tptacek wrote:
               | So, yes, is your answer to the preceding question.
        
           | CoastalCoder wrote:
           | > and it becomes table stakes.
           | 
           | I see what you did there.
        
         | jjmarr wrote:
         | Reminds me of The Menu.
        
           | satvikpendem wrote:
           | Reminds me of The Bear which has scenes like this. It is
           | quite common in higher end restaurant, like those at the
           | Michelin level to customize the experience for each guest (at
           | least to a small degree, not necessarily changing out the
           | entire menu for them).
        
             | pbh101 wrote:
             | Which itself draws from the book 'Unreasonable Hospitality'
             | and iirc the Chicago restaurant 'Ever' featured in the show
             | applies this approach.
        
               | brookst wrote:
               | And the Four Seasons has been recognized for this for
               | many years; it was a case study in business school for
               | me.
        
               | tptacek wrote:
               | (The "Ever" in "The Bear" is a composite of many
               | restaurants).
        
             | mingus88 wrote:
             | The Bear is literally the lead-in paragraph for the article
        
               | satvikpendem wrote:
               | Yes, that is why I mentioned it.
        
           | yieldcrv wrote:
           | Going to The French Laundry has many similar to The Menu and
           | felt like it was what the movie was satirizing
        
             | satvikpendem wrote:
             | The Menu is specifically satirizing the show Chef's Table
             | [0]. Notice the same sort of music and compositon of the
             | plates as well as the font.
             | 
             | [0] https://youtu.be/BkN9dDGTgtw
        
               | yieldcrv wrote:
               | Thanks, I was curious
        
         | fnord77 wrote:
         | author doesn't understand the definition of "vetting"
         | 
         | which is par for the course for sfgate/chronicle
        
         | dang wrote:
         | Thanks! We've changed the title above to use a more
         | representative phrase from the article.
        
         | mousethatroared wrote:
         | Still creepy.
        
       | ChrisMarshallNY wrote:
       | Good luck with that.
       | 
       | Pretty much the only social media I participate in, is ...
       | _here_. I guess the Bay Area might take HN seriously, but I live
       | in NY.
        
         | Spivak wrote:
         | The example in the article is about getting to know your
         | patrons so no social presence would be fine, but for what
         | you're talking about with actual filtering no social presence
         | would be an immediate rejection so I wouldn't be so smug.
        
           | ChrisMarshallNY wrote:
           | Not smug. I just don't do social media. I know _many_ folks,
           | with _lots_ of money, that are similar to me.
           | 
           | If SMBs want to reject us, because we aren't posting every
           | meal on TikTok, then they only have themselves to blame.
        
             | vntok wrote:
             | What does being rich have anything to do with this?
             | 
             | You seem to think SMB rejecting you is only a problem for
             | them, have you considered that them rejecting you also
             | means that _you_ don 't get service from them?
        
               | ChrisMarshallNY wrote:
               | Hey listen.
               | 
               | Sorry if what I wrote, offended. Didn't mean to.
               | 
               | So we're done.
        
         | shiftpgdn wrote:
         | That's ok, you'll get the same treatment everyone else got
         | before they started this trend. "Normies" with their lives on
         | the standard socials will get extra attention or special
         | treatment at no detriment to you.
        
       | steveBK123 wrote:
       | Social Credit Score, but privatized
        
         | kube-system wrote:
         | Of which, the name comes from the US concept of "credit score"
         | which was always privatized.
        
         | yieldcrv wrote:
         | Americans only care that the organization that can kill and
         | arrest isn't controlling all facets of life
         | 
         | But are tolerant that corporations do the exact same things in
         | their society
        
       | EA-3167 wrote:
       | Like many here, before I read the article I assumed this was
       | intended to be some sort of filtering mechanism... which is a bit
       | dystopian, but IMO the truth is much MUCH more bizarre.
       | 
       | We're talking about a fancy restaurant that researches you and
       | your social media to better cater to you and make you feel
       | "special". I think I'd prefer that this just be an extension of
       | the velvet rope, bouncers have been around for ages, but this
       | feels genuinely creepy.
       | 
       | > "The information is used as a precursor to gain more of an
       | understanding of who our guests are," general manager Akeel Shah
       | explained to SFGATE. "We may not even use the information, but it
       | gives us a better way to tailor the experience and make it
       | memorable."
       | 
       | Eewwww, no. Just no. It really feels like someone watched 'The
       | Menu', missed the entire point of the movie, and just thought
       | "Hey wouldn't it be neat if WE knew everything about our
       | customers before they arrived?"
        
         | volleygman180 wrote:
         | I haven't seen The Menu, but try watching The Bear instead.
         | They demonstrate this level-of-service & mentality and it's
         | much more sincere than you think.
        
           | EA-3167 wrote:
           | The Menu is... overly sincere, I won't spoil it, but it's the
           | "Restaurant as cult environment" movie. In fact the question
           | of lacking sincerity is framed as "the audience casually
           | disregards the immense effort and dedication requires to
           | achieve what you demand."
           | 
           | ...Now that's probably using restaurants as a metaphor for
           | the film industry, but either way the point holds. I'm not
           | put off by insincerity, it's forced, false intimacy as a
           | product or a service goal that bothers me. Good food, good
           | (not fawning) service is more than enough for me, I don't
           | need this kind of race-to-the-bottom Michelin stars seem to
           | inspire.
        
       | dceddia wrote:
       | These comments are such a great pointer to the way outrage is
       | engineered.
        
         | fsflover wrote:
         | Can you elaborate?
        
           | vicurve wrote:
           | You know how you sometimes read a title or a topic and you
           | can infer the kind of commentary a particular topic will
           | have? Even going so far as to expect words like
           | "enshittification" to be used for both stating a point as
           | well as for in-group signaling? Sort of like how opinions are
           | front-loaded even if the article was read? (And very often
           | the opinions are things we've heard before from many other
           | people, this is a given).
           | 
           | Well, we've entered a period in manufactured outrage on the
           | internet where an audience is primed ahead of time with
           | talking points and perspectives that are deemed allowed, and
           | then these reflexes are triggered over and over by the same
           | kind of articles. And it's the frenzy that counts.
           | 
           | It used to be confined to FB and other places but the average
           | commenter has changed and so the average commentary has
           | changed.
           | 
           | Articles are increasingly becoming rage bait, moreso than
           | clickbait. I do not know what the appeal is yet but I imagine
           | it's some mixture of impulsivity that online commenting has
           | enabled, combined with commenters thinking their take is
           | valid/important/whatever. Maybe narcissistic but I can't say
           | for sure. At any rate, it's another good way to destroy a
           | community - especially one with self reinforcing mechanism
           | like voting that basically ensures you're on rails (with
           | apologies to dhh)
        
           | dceddia wrote:
           | The title implies (well, I'd say explicitly states with the
           | word "vetting") that restaurants are trying to filter guests,
           | maybe to avoid troublesome ones with uncouth posts online or
           | something. And many of the comments are replying to that
           | interpretation, based on the unfairness suggested in the
           | title. It's not only clickbait, it's outrage bait, designed
           | to spark anger.
           | 
           | The article itself is about how restaurants have gone above
           | and beyond for some guests where they've been able to tell
           | from their social media that they're celebrating a special
           | occasion or some other thing like that. To make the guests'
           | experience _better_ and _memorable_.
           | 
           | There's a privacy angle to this, should restaurants do that,
           | slippery slope, etc etc... but many of the comments aren't
           | talking about that. They're responding to the inflammatory
           | title.
           | 
           | I don't think we often get such a clear picture into the
           | _why_ behind online outrage and how clearly manufactured it
           | can often be. I think it 's easy to believe people are angry
           | for a good reason, to take the anger "on good faith" in some
           | sense. In this case, with the title being _so_ far from the
           | article, it 's clear to see what's going on. And makes one
           | wonder about the rest of the outrage out there.
        
             | borski wrote:
             | I couldn't agree more. Half the reason I posted it was the
             | aggressive title; I was curious to see what would happen,
             | and it was precisely what I expected heh.
             | 
             | The other half of the reason was that I really did think it
             | was an interesting article. But having to keep the title
             | the same was a fascinating social experiment.
        
               | dceddia wrote:
               | Thanks for running the experiment :)
        
       | renewiltord wrote:
       | Haha this is fantastic. I suppose we must have been uninteresting
       | guests to these places because we didn't get this degree of
       | personalization but the food was great. A lot of these 3 Mich
       | experiences are experiences and not just a dining alone thing so
       | I totally get it. Fun stuff!
        
       | joenot443 wrote:
       | Honestly, this just seems like really creative and earnest
       | hospitality. To summarize the somewhat fluffy piece -
       | 
       | > Kirk also has a gigantic database of each guest -- about
       | 115,000 people -- and knows how many times they've dined at Lazy
       | Bear since it first opened as a supper club in 2009. She then
       | dives into social media and finds extra information that is
       | publicly available to get a sense of who the guests are before
       | they come in. Finally, she puts all the data she's gathered into
       | a color-coded Google document that every member of the team,
       | front and back of house, studies.
       | 
       | "We get hundreds of emails a day, and the intimate details that
       | some people are willing to share, sometimes we're like 'Holy
       | crap. I can't believe you told us that,'" Booth said. "But then
       | there's the fun, the literal joy, our team feels when they get to
       | make these special touches with those details."
       | 
       | --
       | 
       | That sounds great to me! I think some commenters are imagining a
       | kind of Black Mirror meets Berghain meets social credit scenario,
       | but it seems like really none of those things. Cynically, one
       | could perhaps paint it as another clever way for Bay Area folks
       | to convert capital into emotionally emulated human experiences,
       | though even amongst that list I'd consider it one of the more
       | wholesome.
        
         | borski wrote:
         | I completely agree with you.
        
       | jqpabc123 wrote:
       | Seems like the potential start of a dystopian nightmare to me.
       | 
       | Wouldn't be better for all concerned if a 2 star restaurant
       | worked at providing better food and service instead of privacy
       | invasion and exploitation of the vain?
        
         | AznHisoka wrote:
         | There are exactly 2 restaurants I recommend to people, and
         | invite family/friends to when they're visiting.
         | 
         | Absolutely none of these restaurants know who I am, do anything
         | special for me, or even know my favorite dishes.
         | 
         | The only thing they have in common is they consistently make
         | delicious tasting food. And they probably focus a lot on doing
         | that. Its that simple.
        
           | CoastalCoder wrote:
           | I assume you're referring to Jacques Imo's in New Orleans,
           | then :)
        
         | zacharycohn wrote:
         | For people who go to these restaurants, this _is_ better
         | service. You wouldn 't find this happening at Red Robin. This
         | is what they are paying for.
         | 
         | If it's not for you, that's fine.
        
           | sublinear wrote:
           | I think you totally could replicate these experiences without
           | the restaurant involved. Fun surprises are nice, but the
           | absurdity of having the restaurant provide _these kinds_ of
           | experiences seems tacky.
           | 
           | I don't think I'm alone in wanting the restaurant's
           | personality to be just as much a part of the experience as my
           | own personality. Otherwise, what makes this place more
           | special than any other wanting to pull the same gimmicks?
        
         | sublinear wrote:
         | Despite much hype, past a certain point even the highest end
         | food really is... just food.
         | 
         | The service is what people really pay for, and there I agree
         | that there should be much more interesting ideas to elevate the
         | experience than bringing in a baby penguin. I don't see
         | anything in the article as particularly creative.
        
           | JumpCrisscross wrote:
           | > _past a certain point even the highest end food really
           | is... just food_
           | 
           | That point is still well up there. The difference between
           | hours-picked tomatoes and Aramark sludge is worth paying for.
        
       | smitelli wrote:
       | I gotta say, I don't have the right personality traits to enjoy
       | this kind of personal attention a lot of the time.
       | 
       | I've had experiences where the counter staff at my daily
       | breakfast place started to recognize me and know what "usual" my
       | order was going to be without my having to say it... and it
       | really weirded me out more than anything else.
       | 
       | Sometimes I just want to be a faceless nobody, forgotten day
       | after day by the businesses I visit and the public spaces I
       | navigate.
        
         | mingus88 wrote:
         | Yeah I'm heavily introverted and feel the same way. It
         | establishes a kind of social pressure that if I fail to hold up
         | my side of the relationship I just get anxious
        
         | satvikpendem wrote:
         | If you go so often that people remember you, I mean, what do
         | you expect, that they somehow block the memory of you from
         | their mind?
        
         | JumpCrisscross wrote:
         | > _I don 't have the right personality traits to enjoy this
         | kind of personal attention a lot of the time_
         | 
         | Have friends who work at the Four Seasons. This-- _low_ service
         | interaction--is a common type of personalised attention patrons
         | want.
         | 
         | I don't think there is a social media cue for it. But even as
         | someone who's fairly extroverted, I got a note indicating I
         | should be left alone if dining alone and reading.
        
       | rglover wrote:
       | So this is basically a modern approach to Danny Meyer's (Union
       | Square Hospitality Group [1]) "collecting the dots" he described
       | in his book Setting the Table [2].
       | 
       | His suggestion was to have staff listen to conversations (and
       | have conversations with guests) and then record any interesting
       | "dots" like a child having a graduation coming up or an
       | anniversary just around the corner. That way on their next visit
       | the staff could be well-prepared.
       | 
       | Click-bait headline makes you think otherwise, but this is just
       | standard hospitality stuff.
       | 
       | [1] https://www.ushg.com/
       | 
       | [2] https://www.amazon.com/Setting-Table-Transforming-
       | Hospitalit...
        
       | satvikpendem wrote:
       | It's funny to read these comments, of course HN would react this
       | way but since the vast majority of restaurant patrons are so-
       | called normies, it doesn't make much sense to cater to HNers. In
       | fact, most normal people actually _prefer_ that restaurants know
       | their interests and cater to them, it leads to their higher
       | satisfaction and makes the restaurant experience (which includes
       | more than just the taste of the food, for most people at least)
       | more memorable overall.
        
         | sublinear wrote:
         | I don't see what's so normal about any of this. In the past
         | your friends would just mention a few hints while making the
         | reservation... and people still do this now.
         | 
         | If they need to scan your social media, that speaks volumes
         | about how you socialize and the quality of those interactions.
         | Plenty of "normal" people don't want this either. The thoughts
         | mean more coming from your friends than a creepy restaurant.
        
           | cyberge99 wrote:
           | I wonder if there's ever been a case of mistaken identity. A
           | bear lover instead of a penguin lover for example.
        
           | JumpCrisscross wrote:
           | I'm genuinely confused by people who find it creepy that
           | their public social media be scanned and analysed. You made
           | it public!
        
             | sublinear wrote:
             | The creepy part isn't what, but why. The article later
             | mentions a place that is "old school" and actually talks to
             | their patrons.
             | 
             | If the goal is to attract and keep patrons, especially at a
             | high end restaurant where details matter, I think some
             | formalities are still reasonably expected.
        
           | satvikpendem wrote:
           | You're proving my point. Only do people on HN care, I've
           | never heard of anyone "normal" expressing concern over this
           | sort of restaurant policy, and doubly so if they made their
           | entire account public in the first place. By all means,
           | friends can mention a few hints, but that doesn't mean that
           | restaurants won't do their own research.
           | 
           | > _If they need to scan your social media, that speaks
           | volumes about how you socialize and the quality of those
           | interactions._
           | 
           | No, it doesn't, and I don't see how you came to the
           | conclusion that if a restaurant had to scan my social media
           | that it says anything about how I socialize. People don't
           | _just_ socialize only on social media, you know.
        
             | sublinear wrote:
             | All I'm saying is if I'm important to the business they
             | should take the time to know me in person, not try to
             | leverage technology to make this more efficient. The
             | customer is not cattle.
             | 
             | If my friends care, they will know what to surprise me with
             | better than someone who glanced online as a rote part of
             | their job.
        
               | satvikpendem wrote:
               | What gave you the impression that they don't also talk to
               | their customers as well?
        
       | astrange wrote:
       | Good opportunity to learn about SingleThread, which is a
       | 90s-style throwback to when it was impossible to learn anything
       | about Japan so people just made things up. Like, they call their
       | customers "chairman of the board" because they just heard a
       | random word somewhere?
       | 
       | Japanese customer service ("omotenashi") is mostly about not
       | listening to your customers. You get exactly what they want to
       | give you and that's it. If you have a dietary restriction they
       | may just kick you out because they won't/can't change the menu.
        
       | Hnrobert42 wrote:
       | Privacy concerns aside, I would be mortified if a restaurant did
       | something special for me. I don't want extra attention. I don't
       | want to have to pretend to be excited about a beverage I don't
       | really care for or a gift I will just throw away.
       | 
       | Now if you will excuse, I see some clouds at which I need to
       | shake my cane.
        
         | CoastalCoder wrote:
         | What if their special thing _for you_ was to treat you like a
         | truly genetic customer?
         | 
         | I.e., like what Leslie Knope did for Run Swanson on his
         | birthday.
        
       | userbinator wrote:
       | It must be emphasised that they're doing this with public
       | information and presumably whatever else you've implicitly
       | consented to giving them, so I don't see a problem with that.
       | Nonetheless this isn't the experience I'd want from a restaurant,
       | and fortunately there are plenty of others to choose from.
        
       | asdf6969 wrote:
       | Maybe I'll start taking pictures of the owners kids playing in
       | the yard so I can establish a better relationship with the
       | business and get better service.
        
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