[HN Gopher] The Death of Partying in the USA
       ___________________________________________________________________
        
       The Death of Partying in the USA
        
       Author : tysone
       Score  : 65 points
       Date   : 2025-07-09 20:43 UTC (2 hours ago)
        
 (HTM) web link (www.derekthompson.org)
 (TXT) w3m dump (www.derekthompson.org)
        
       | eplatzek wrote:
       | With COVID partying meant that someone could kill you with an
       | illness. That's a pretty hard lesson to unlearn. They carries a
       | lot of momentum.
       | 
       | Like with World Wars there's been a generational impact that
       | changed how people relate to one another. The tribal momentum, of
       | one monkey teaching the next, gets lost.
        
         | xeromal wrote:
         | I'm sure COVID had something to do with it but I think partying
         | is another casualty of social media.
         | 
         | Similar to discord for gaming, talking to your random peers has
         | completely fell off
        
           | openbankerX wrote:
           | prices too, partying is expensive and should be the first
           | line item cut in hard times.
        
             | parpfish wrote:
             | Partying in the article also includes "dropping by a
             | friends house", which is cheap/free
        
         | carl_dr wrote:
         | Except the graph shows this was happening way before COVID. The
         | internet and how that has changed how people relate is much
         | more likely the reason.
        
           | api wrote:
           | One of the first things I did with the net was to connect
           | with people to go out and party with. Amazing how that
           | morphed into zombie doom scrolling, something I would never
           | have predicted.
        
           | luckydata wrote:
           | in my opinion the largest effect is how we build cities.
           | Having to drive everywhere and the separation between
           | commercial, residential and industrial areas of american
           | cities is very clearly a driver of this isolation.
        
         | southernplaces7 wrote:
         | >With COVID partying meant that someone could kill you with an
         | illness.
         | 
         | Given the mortality rate for people typically in the partying
         | age group (and especially those under 30), you were more likely
         | to die in a traffic accident on your way to or back from the
         | party, or from alcohol poisoning, than from a case of COVID
         | acquired there. Let's not exaggerate.
         | 
         | From the NIH: The median IFR for COVID based on age groups:
         | 0.0003% at 0-19 years, 0.002% at 20-29 years, 0.011% at 30-39
         | years.
         | 
         | The 1918 Flu it was certainly not.
        
           | sltkr wrote:
           | To be pedantic, it's still possible for people to modify
           | their behavior based on mistaken beliefs (in this case, that
           | COVID is really dangerous, when it isn't for healthy young
           | people). Though I don't think this explains the actual trend
           | in this case.
        
           | add-sub-mul-div wrote:
           | Some people didn't want to get it even if they were
           | guaranteed to survive, because they could pass it to others
           | who were more vulnerable to it.
        
       | patrickthebold wrote:
       | Reminds me of the Jonathan Richman classic:
       | https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y6Pg9IGgQpY
        
       | lr4444lr wrote:
       | The parental part bears special mention.
       | 
       | My spouse and I find that we are overwhelmingly the ones calling
       | to organize playdates rather than vice versa. I'd like to think
       | it's not that my kids are poorly socialized or misbehave -
       | they've always received glowing reports at school. I give my kids
       | business cards with my phone number to pass out to their friends
       | to give to their parents, and there is also a class list where
       | our phone numbers are listed (and where we find these other
       | parents' contact info).
       | 
       | Something happened with the culture of getting kids to play with
       | each other outside of school hours, and I don't know what it was.
       | COVID lockdowns definitely delayed it from starting for our kids,
       | but I know these parents are mostly in my generation, and we
       | certainly played more together.
       | 
       | We live in the suburbs, so it's not a car creep problem - at
       | least, no more than it was 60+ years ago when the numbers were
       | better. When I ask the parents who stay, they tell me a vague mix
       | of weekend junior sports leagues, visiting relatives, and just
       | being really tired after working all week. They're lame excuses:
       | spending time with kids constantly is _also_ really tiring.
       | 
       | Kids having regular playdates would encourage more familiarity
       | among the families and trust in letting kids play unsupervised
       | with each other. Often I take them to the main playground, and
       | it's virtually empty. I can't believe I'm the only one in the
       | community who's unhappy enough about this to try and change it.
        
         | lawlessone wrote:
         | >I give my kids business cards with my phone number to pass out
         | to their friends to give to their parents
         | 
         | Yeah if i was a kid i'd be mortified at having to do this.
        
           | luckydata wrote:
           | it's the only way it works. It took me MONTHS to get a hold
           | of the number of my son's best friend's parents so that now
           | we can organize maybe an afternoon of play every 4-5 weeks.
        
             | zoomablemind wrote:
             | I thought a prime time for contacting the parents is right
             | after school when picking up the kid. Everyone is there
             | waiting, so it's just natural to chit chat, esp when the
             | kids are friends.
        
           | jamiek88 wrote:
           | I physically cringed reading it. The intention is great but
           | if I was his kid those cards would be staying in my backpack.
           | Making a kid stand out like that is risky as fuck for social
           | standing.
           | 
           | But this is likely the worst forum in the world to talk about
           | typical social skills.
        
             | jppope wrote:
             | An honest attempt from a social adult to develop a sense of
             | community is far from cringe. Reasonably speaking, its
             | actions like that which can actually make socialization
             | happen. If the old way wasn't working, so try something
             | else.
        
           | wombatpm wrote:
           | I would do this. Of course I'd have cards made up that say
           | "Hoopy Frood who really knows where his towel is" as a screen
           | for parents with similar sense of humor.
        
           | tclancy wrote:
           | Really? While I don't do it, the alternative is having a kid
           | come home with a scrawled phone number that may or may not be
           | right along with a vague recollection of the name of the
           | parent I am supposed to be calling. Things are a little less
           | akward in our life but it may be because we are closer to
           | what OP describes as grandparents I suppose.
           | 
           | I get the idea, but I would suggest the reaction to an
           | attempt at lubricating social interaction as "cringe" is part
           | of the issue OP is describing.
        
         | 01100011 wrote:
         | Parents just want to watch their Internet content and it's
         | easier to just stick their kids in front of a video game or
         | computer vs having an event that requires parenting.
         | 
         | At least when parents are addicted to alcohol they can still be
         | social and function as parents. Not so with Instagram/tiktok.
        
           | meepmorp wrote:
           | How old are your kids?
        
             | 01100011 wrote:
             | We've got a toddler. Currently bracing for the upcoming
             | shit-show which will be the pre-school and beyond years.
        
           | mtrovo wrote:
           | Oh that rings true and it's so depressive. But I think it has
           | more to do with this notion that everything you do socially
           | is awkward in some degree and could be seeing as bad or
           | hurtful, smartphones didn't help us there with the chance of
           | becoming the next national meme just a tiktok away.
           | 
           | Also social interactions nowadays have become so "one of a
           | kind" and disconnected from a general contract that sometimes
           | it's hard to not feel overwhelmed, I remember being 10 years
           | old and just knocking on the door of my neighbourhood friends
           | to check on them and kind of invite me in, depending on the
           | time I would stay and grab dinner there and only come back
           | home when it was getting too dark. Now as a parent I feel
           | this serendipity is almost gone, you have to officially
           | arrange play dates on parent groups, pick kids up, ask
           | parents what kind of food should I offer, is it ok if I let
           | them play videogames, is it ok to offer sugary drinks, list
           | goes on and on.
           | 
           | In that world consuming media is much easier, but I wouldn't
           | say that's because it is addictive on itself, I think there's
           | a big portion of people that just got tired of trying to
           | navigate how to interact with others. My impression is that
           | the proportion between lurkers to posters increased with time
           | on different platforms including in real life.
        
         | api wrote:
         | It was already happening before COVID. All these trends were.
         | That just made it worse.
         | 
         | A major issue is the death of independent child play. In a lot
         | of places if a kid -- and we are talking up to early teens --
         | is unsupervised police will be called. It's entirely the result
         | of daytime TV and true crime making people think there are
         | pedophile nuts hiding in every bush when in reality abductions
         | by strangers are incredibly rare. If a kid is abused or worse
         | it's almost always someone they know.
         | 
         | One of the things I love about where we live is that kids do
         | still play outside. It's a safe Midwestern suburb. We moved
         | from SoCal and there you would definitely have some busybody
         | call the cops. Of course it was perhaps more dangerous -- not
         | because of crime but cars. All the suburban streets have like
         | 60mph speed limits in SoCal.
        
         | firesteelrain wrote:
         | During COVID, every kid in the neighborhood was at my house.
         | School was short maybe 1-3 hours then it was play time. I
         | didn't know all those kids lived in my neighborhood! Kids had
         | no issue coming over.
         | 
         | I don't know what the reason is for this phenomenon
        
         | ryandrake wrote:
         | Often the kids like to play together, but the parents are the
         | ones that are just... weird and asocial. I hate to bring agism
         | into this, but there definitely seems to be a generational gap
         | with the adults.
         | 
         | Some of my kid's friends are raised by their parents, and
         | others are (apparently) raised primarily by grandparents.
         | 
         | When my kid wants to get together with friends whose (50-60
         | year old) grandparents bring them by, the grandparents come up
         | to the door, socialize for a bit while the kid runs inside, and
         | then we talk about when the playtime will be over and they can
         | come over to pick the kid up. If it's an event where we both
         | bring the kids, I find it easy to shoot the breeze with the
         | grandparents, have small talk about how the week went, and so
         | on.
         | 
         | When the parents are, say, 25-35 year old range, it's a totally
         | different vibe. They'll drive up, let the kid out of the car,
         | and then race away without even getting out of their car. When
         | playtime is at a local park or something, they sometimes hang
         | around, but they go off into a corner, engrossed on their
         | phone, totally ignoring the other parents (who, depending on
         | their own ages are either chit chatting or locked into their
         | Instagram).
         | 
         | I remember when I was a kid in the 80s, and not only would we
         | love to get together at someone's house, but the parents would
         | also be happy to get together for a little socialization, maybe
         | throw some steaks on the grill, put on some Sportsball, or
         | whatever. This practice seems to be dead now that I'm a parent!
        
           | lurking_swe wrote:
           | context: i'm in my early 30's and i'm not a parent
           | 
           | the behavior you described of the 25-35 year range is
           | appalling. and those aren't my kids so that's saying
           | something.
           | 
           | Call it what it is, antisocial. Baffling to me...why are
           | people so weird?
        
           | antonymoose wrote:
           | I'll endorse this heavily.
           | 
           | We bought into a nice suburban community. Good schools, low
           | crime, the dream.
           | 
           | No one knows any neighbors. Kids rarely play with one another
           | intra-neighborhood despite a very healthy blend of age
           | ranges. In fact, I've loosely associate with exactly one
           | neighbor in the three years. We went out of our way to try
           | and meet neighbors our first month. Most treated us as if we
           | head too many heads on our shoulders.
           | 
           | Despite a heavy presence of children, no one here celebrate
           | Halloween despite it being a beloved night growing up around
           | here. Our first year we invested heavily in decorations and
           | spent hundreds on the King size candy bars.
           | 
           | Society feels... dead compared to me as an early 90s child.
        
         | luckydata wrote:
         | I see this SO MUCH, I wonder if you're also in California. I
         | find this state particularly difficult to have a social life
         | in. Everyone is "friendly" but nobody wants to be your friend,
         | always chasing something else and never making time (exceptions
         | apply). It's been exhausting to live here and I can't wait to
         | go back to Europe where social life was not nearly as
         | difficult.
        
         | heavyset_go wrote:
         | I wonder how much of this comes down to wage stagnation and the
         | need for not only both parents to work, but to work more hours
         | and sometimes multiple jobs, just to keep from drowning.
         | Especially when childcare is so expensive, it's a situation
         | that can compound and spiral.
        
         | analog31 wrote:
         | One factor may have to do with birth rates and construction. I
         | grew up in a neighborhood that was all built up within the span
         | of a few years, and populated by young families, in the early
         | 60s. There were kids all over the place. Anybody who wanted to
         | play would just go out and holler, and they'd have a few other
         | kids almost instantly.
         | 
         | Where my wife and I raised our kids, there was one neighbor
         | with kids, and that's it.
         | 
         | Also, kids are more occupied now. "Back in my day" elementary
         | school kids didn't have homework, and it was pretty minimal
         | even through high school. My kids had homework starting in
         | first grade. Naturally you want it to get done early while the
         | kids are still awake, but this cuts into the prime hours for
         | play. We should simply have revolted against it. But that's
         | hindsight.
        
         | taeric wrote:
         | What happened is that everything turned into playdates? When we
         | were kids, the general direction was GTFO, and don't be late
         | for dinner. Who did you go play with? Whoever was at the park.
         | When you got older, you hopefully had access to the skating
         | rink. Or maybe a bowling alley. Before that, kickball at the
         | park. Pretty much every day. Maybe see if you can over shoot
         | the swing again.
        
           | jppope wrote:
           | Totally valid observation, but things definitely changed.
           | Neighbors don't know each other as well, so the grandma
           | keeping an eye out the back window doesn't exist anymore. It
           | was a village watching the kids before, its not that way now.
        
             | taeric wrote:
             | I suspect they didn't know each other that well back in the
             | day, either. We just tell ourselves that they did. When
             | we've lived in apartment complexes, as an easy example,
             | there were a lot of people we didn't know. We just also got
             | to know a few that we would see on a regular basis, as
             | well.
        
         | MontyCarloHall wrote:
         | There's no way to say this without coming across as extremely
         | rude, but...
         | 
         | > I give my kids business cards with my phone number to pass
         | out to their friends to give to their parents
         | 
         | If this isn't the only thing you/your kids do that's well
         | outside typical social norms, that's probably the reason nobody
         | else is inviting them. This is almost on the level of parents
         | accompanying their adult kids to job interviews and then
         | wondering why their kid didn't get an offer.
        
         | conception wrote:
         | Some good answers but also American parents are stretched thin
         | but also perhaps want to be a larger part of their kids lives?
         | 
         | During the week I get maybe 10-30 minutes of quality time with
         | them outside of the routine of weekly life. Maybe?
         | 
         | So if I want to do something with my children and have a
         | relationship with them, the weekends are all I have.
         | 
         | Aaaand of course,quality of life in America is generally in
         | decline and parents usually have no support structure (family
         | etc) so no one has interest in the extra work of doing
         | playdates.
        
         | lc9er wrote:
         | Kids used to just go outside, find one another, and play. I see
         | that you are attempting to solve the problem with organizing
         | playdates. However, I think that playdates and structured
         | EVERYTHING for kids is a contributing factor to how we got
         | here.
         | 
         | I think at some point, we need to acknowledge media
         | sensationalism (traditional and social media varieties) have
         | not only poisoned politics and bolstered conspiracy theory
         | popularity, but have vastly overstated the dangers of every day
         | life, making childhood and parenting much worse than a
         | generation or two ago.
        
           | avhception wrote:
           | When I was a kid, we would always hatch a plan on what to do
           | with the rest of the day while we were still at school. As
           | soon as the bell rang, we hurried home to catch something to
           | eat and then it was off to the woods to build that fortress
           | or whatever. If there was no school, we'd call the house
           | phones of our friends until we had a plan cooked up. And
           | every day without fail we didn't want to go home. So much
           | stuff to do!
           | 
           | Now, watching the kids my friends have - they won't even
           | leave the house if their parents didn't plan a playdate and
           | brought them there. Something is completely off.
        
         | wffurr wrote:
         | Same, it's really disappointing how few parents have reached
         | out to play compared to how often I am trying to find one of my
         | kids' friends who is around to play.
        
       | lawlessone wrote:
       | Partying is more expensive than watching TV or playing games.
        
         | vrc wrote:
         | I was going to disagree but then realized I now shell out at
         | least $100 when two families and their kids show up for 3-4
         | pizzas with toppings and chips and dip and some juices.
         | 
         | And god forbid I try and provide fresh fruit and beverages on
         | that budget...
        
       | iLoveOncall wrote:
       | This isn't a social effect at all, it's all a financial effect.
       | Of course most of the HN population is isolated from those issues
       | because we work in a high paying field, but nobody has any money
       | to do anything anymore.
        
       | burnt-resistor wrote:
       | My grandma was the head of the local Air Force wives' club. Their
       | house was always stocked like a full bar and at least several
       | people stopped by for a visit just about every day. They knew at
       | least 10 of their neighbors well, and some former neighbors too.
       | 
       | Find me community like this anywhere in America these days.
       | Immigrant communities perhaps? Most Americans these days won't
       | interact with their neighbors unless it's to complain or they
       | want something transactionally.
        
         | kulahan wrote:
         | That's it - immigrant communities are wonderful in this regard,
         | as are communities with lots of old people (maybe because
         | they're from a different time, maybe because they're lonely,
         | who knows).
        
           | ryandrake wrote:
           | Yea, our community definitely skews "over 50" and it's a
           | lively, social place. We have an informal rule: If your
           | garage door is fully open, then it's an invitation for anyone
           | to stop by to socialize or chit chat while they're out on
           | their walk or whatever. I know there are people who live in
           | the neighborhood who are under 40, but you almost _never_ see
           | them, even outside of traditional working hours!
        
         | helloooooooo wrote:
         | I am going to assume your grandmother probably didn't work, and
         | instead took made her and her husband's social life her full
         | time job.
         | 
         | It's much easier to entertain constantly when one half of the
         | relationship has the availability to do it.
         | 
         | If I'm mistaken, then holy heck how did your grandparents do it
         | lmao.
        
         | AnimalMuppet wrote:
         | I bet that if the head of the local Air Force wives' club did
         | exactly that today, they'd get the same results.
        
         | 01100011 wrote:
         | My Southern California neighborhood used to be like this. It
         | was a diverse neighborhood of white, Filipino, Viet and
         | Mexicans and it felt alive. Then covid hit and the demographics
         | changed. Prices went up. Now the neighborhood is as quiet at
         | night as where I lived in the bay area a few years ago. No open
         | garages. No music.
         | 
         | People are generally unfriendly now and keep to themselves
         | more. Sad what we've lost. We're still an immigrant community
         | but the immigrants are from different places. I'm sure they
         | paid too much for their houses and feel the stress. There are
         | also some obvious cultural differences with respect to
         | socializing and partying.
        
         | alexjplant wrote:
         | > Americans these days won't interact with their neighbors
         | unless it's to complain or they want something transactionally.
         | 
         | It certainly depends. I had great neighbors when I lived on the
         | river in a non-HOA community... many parties were had with
         | sunset beer hangouts on the dock or beach. Military communities
         | are also notably close-knit so what you say makes sense.
        
       | ryao wrote:
       | The chart labeled Percent Decline in Hours Spent Attending or
       | Hosting Social Event by Age 2003 - 2024 seems to be a bad way of
       | view thing the data since it assumes that there is an inherit
       | difference on how people approach this based on arbitrary age
       | groups. Having it be by birth year would be better, since it
       | would reflect how the people in question's habits are changing
       | over time.
       | 
       | That said, party culture had been excessive in the past and it
       | was impoverishing to many people. I and others my age more wisely
       | do without, which leaves us with money for things that are more
       | important than one offs.
        
       | rawgabbit wrote:
       | Can't throw a party if you're living in your parents basement.
        
       | parpfish wrote:
       | I wonder whether housing plays a factor.
       | 
       | Young people aren't becoming homeowners at the same rate, so
       | there's a sense of transience to their living situations that
       | make forming neighbor communities seem like a waste of time.
        
         | luckydata wrote:
         | nah, we partied plenty when we rented and not knowing someone
         | for long is not a reason not to hang out. What has been eroded
         | is the habit of hanging out because there's no easily
         | accessible third spaces. I'll give you an example: when I lived
         | in Spain I would just walk in the corner bar for a quick beer
         | or a coffee or something to eat, I would very likely run into a
         | neighbor and would chat. The chat would lead to "hey let's do
         | something". In the USA it's almost always the case that people
         | need to make plan, the lack of spontaneity kills most plans.
        
         | ryukoposting wrote:
         | Seems like a no-brainer to me. This is an accurate
         | characterization of my entire adult life. My wife and I are
         | looking at buying a house, and we've concluded that we can't
         | despite living in Wisconsin and making far, _far_ more than the
         | median income around here. There 's no end in sight.
         | 
         | Our social structure isn't built around neighbors. I could name
         | 2 people I've shared an apartment building with in the last 5
         | years. Incidentally, they were a couple in the same 3-flat as
         | me, who were there for my entire time in that building. I think
         | the lower density and shared spaces (in that case, a garage)
         | made the difference.
        
       | Apreche wrote:
       | This article isn't wrong, but it neglects to mention real estate,
       | transportation, and lodging. A party needs a venue, and it needs
       | guests. And the guests need a way to get to and from the venue.
       | If they stay a long time, they need a place to sleep.
       | 
       | People these days don't own real estate. Wealthy people own it
       | all. Normal people are renting apartments or portions of homes.
       | It's kind of hard to throw a big party without a big home, a
       | yard, a big kitchen, etc. Small apartments are for small get-
       | togethers that probably don't register as parties.
       | 
       | Likewise, the larger someone's home is, the more likely it is to
       | be location in an area with low population density and little to
       | no public transportation. Congrats, you can throw a party, but
       | who are you inviting? All your friends are far away. How can they
       | get there? How long can they stay? Can you accommodate them
       | sleeping there? You aren't friends with your neighbors who can
       | party easily. You are friends with people on the Internet who are
       | strewn about the world.
       | 
       | And of course, if you live in a major city with lots of friends,
       | small apartment strikes again.
       | 
       | This is part of the reason we have seen the rise of more public
       | events like conventions. There's a hotel involved. It's a multi-
       | day event worth traveling to. A lot of people you know will be
       | there. It costs everyone some money, but it's not out of the
       | realm to go a few times a year. Best part, nobody's home gets
       | trashed!
        
         | amgutier wrote:
         | In my younger days I threw 100 person parties in a San
         | Francisco apartment - it's standing room only for sure, but so
         | is going to a crowded bar. And I've cooked for 15 without a
         | dining table - you eat on the floor wherever you can find
         | space.
         | 
         | Now I don't disagree with your point; I'm not 22 anymore and
         | live in the burbs and have a less full social calendar, largely
         | due to the logistical overhead of finding my way into the city
         | or getting friends from the city out here. But I do want to say
         | you can have a lot of fun with a lot of friends in a small
         | space with the right attitude :)
        
         | 1oooqooq wrote:
         | more importantly imo: maids and housewives.
         | 
         | good riddance btw. but we need to adjust because partying is
         | nice. we are still working ad if we have a free employee taking
         | care of half our lives.
         | 
         | welp, it's always a class issue.
        
         | sokoloff wrote:
         | > Normal people are renting apartments or portions of homes.
         | 
         | About 2/3 of households in the US own the home they live in.
         | Renting is the minority, not the majority.
        
           | Retric wrote:
           | Owning an apartment isn't materially different than renting
           | an apartment here. It's sometimes better as many apartments
           | have free or rentable spaces available for parties as a
           | selling point, but rarely can you use that space late in the
           | evening.
           | 
           | Owning a home in an HOA area can drastically cut down on what
           | kinds of parties you can host.
        
           | roadside_picnic wrote:
           | Thank you for mentioning this! There's this weird, persistent
           | meme that large corporations are buying up all the housing
           | and nobody owns homes anymore, which is fundamentally not
           | supported by the data.
           | 
           | There are shifting trends in generational home ownership
           | rates, but these are still just initial trends we're seeing.
           | If you look at the data [0] owner occupied has gone down from
           | the 2000s housing bubble, but in the grand scheme of things
           | is not even particularly low.
           | 
           | People also have this mistaken belief that investors like
           | Black Rock are buying up huge swaths of property, when in
           | reality most "investment" properties are bought by families
           | and individuals, consider anyone who know who owns an AirBNB
           | rental or other rental property, they would be considered
           | "investors".
           | 
           | Most Americans still live in a house, and own that house (or
           | at least, some member of their household owns it).
           | 
           | 0. https://fred.stlouisfed.org/series/RHORUSQ156N
        
         | DidYaWipe wrote:
         | It's not going to get any better, either, as states let
         | corporations buy up entire neighborhoods. When you combine that
         | scourge with HOAs, you have the end of home ownership in the
         | USA.
        
       | carabiner wrote:
       | Spending all of your time studying in high school and college is
       | your best hope at landing in the vanishing middle class. With
       | decreasing job security as well as hyperinflation, continuing
       | that work ethic into your 20s and 30s is quite reasonable.
       | Everyone is too exhausted to party.
        
       | searine wrote:
       | It's cause were poor.
        
       | LeanderK wrote:
       | Purely anecdotal, but I was recently reflecting at the current
       | trend of people posting really extensive morning routines. Waking
       | up, meditation, yoga, gym, shower, eating breakfast, meal-
       | prepping,....having a whole day before your day starts. While
       | they should impress you with their healthiness and discipline, I
       | just thought how utterly lonely and sterile most of them look
       | like. And you're completely done after work if this is your
       | morning, you can just go to bed and repeat the same the next day.
       | I found it quite sad, actually.
        
       | jongjong wrote:
       | People don't party if their life is bad.
        
       | avhception wrote:
       | I broadly agree with the article.
       | 
       | I'm also wondering if the rising political polarization is at
       | least in part caused by the "antisocial" phenomenon. If you're
       | not exposed to a spectrum of political worldviews through being
       | involved with all these people you randomly met back in the day,
       | it becomes easier to dehumanize the people you disagree with. You
       | also never have to listen to their talking points, because you
       | can just block them out online.
        
       | generalenvelope wrote:
       | It feels ridiculous not to mention car dependence and the things
       | that enabled it: restrictive zoning, parking minimums, the car
       | lobby.
       | 
       | In the last 50 years, the US has bulldozed dense, mixed used
       | housing that enabled community and tight knit neighborhoods. More
       | economically/socially viable housing (read: an apartment on top
       | of a business) has literally been banned in much of the US.
       | Ensuring that there's a large plot of asphalt to house personal
       | vehicles that are ever increasing in size is baked into zoning
       | laws (though some cities have finally banned parking minimums).
       | Suburbia sprawls, literally requiring most of the country to own
       | a car.
       | 
       | I would love to see some data on this, but my intuition is that
       | everyone is physically farther away as a result, which both
       | weakens their general connection and likelihood to party
       | together, but makes it harder for them to party in the first
       | place.
        
       | bravesoul2 wrote:
       | Is 1 in 25 bad? I am more 1 in Inf... I mean I don't know what
       | counts but I am happier to do things that are not a party.
       | Examples: go to events in the city, restaurants, sunday lunch at
       | relatives, work socials, school parent socials.
       | 
       | Even in my 20s I went to... the pub! Mayhe a nightclub. To me
       | parties are more school age/university thing and are a great way
       | to have a good time on a budget. Just some drinks and a speaker
       | required.
        
       | thisisauserid wrote:
       | "The typical female pet owner spends more time actively engaged
       | with her pet than she spends in face-to-face contact with friends
       | of her own species."
       | 
       | Spurious. This has likely always been true unless you live with
       | said friends.
        
       | SimianSci wrote:
       | If I were to try and pinpoint one of the leading causes of this
       | issue myself, I would personally say that Americans have an
       | outdated and ineffective model regarding its use of addictive
       | substances or what I like to now call "Brain Hacking" systems as
       | they are not necessarily just physical substances anymore.
       | 
       | Recreational drugs cause unbelievable havok within communities
       | where they are unleashed. Its well known that such drugs have
       | chemical compounds capable of "hacking" our physiology and
       | causing a whole host of negative effects while ensuring the user
       | stays addicted. I consider these "Brain Hacking" systems just the
       | same as I consider social media like TikTok and Instagram. They
       | both are designed specifically in ways to entice users to be
       | addicted without any concern for the harms they cause. It baffles
       | me that simply because it is not a physical substance it gets
       | treated as less dangerous than the harder substances.
       | 
       | We keep seeing these issues in America when its very clear that
       | similar things would occur if we made recreational substances as
       | common as water and just as accessible. Revenously addicted
       | people, dont party, they dont socialize, they retreat from
       | society, and stop forming deeper releationships. It is no
       | surprise that this is creating issues for us.
       | 
       | Americans have always been the world's leading consumer of drugs,
       | and now that we have digital drugs, they are more accessible and
       | in demand than ever. So much so that the cartels desinging and
       | pedeling these products, are basically the most powerful
       | companies in our society.
        
       | shawndrost wrote:
       | Does anyone know why "Hours spent in childcare" started
       | skyrocketing in the 1990s? Here is the graph from the article:
       | https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!2g7_!,w_1456,c_limit...
        
         | tpmoney wrote:
         | Off the cuff that coincides pretty well with the rise of
         | "helicopter parenting" and "tiger mom" trends.
        
       | imzadi wrote:
       | > Burrowing into the appendix tables of the American Time Use
       | Survey, she unearthed the fact that just 4.1 percent of Americans
       | said they "attended or hosted" a party or ceremony on a typical
       | weekend or holiday in 2023. In other words, in any given weekend,
       | just one in 25 US households had plans to attend a social event.
       | 
       | There's a huge difference between not hosting or attending a
       | party and not attending a social event. "Party" has very specific
       | connotations. If I go out bowling with my friends or have a game
       | night, I don't call that a party, but it is certainly a social
       | event.
        
       | psyclobe wrote:
       | Yeah. I haven't gone out in decades.
        
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