[HN Gopher] Skip the exit interview when you leave your job
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       Skip the exit interview when you leave your job
        
       Author : ohjeez
       Score  : 19 points
       Date   : 2025-06-23 22:22 UTC (37 minutes ago)
        
 (HTM) web link (blog.petdance.com)
 (TXT) w3m dump (blog.petdance.com)
        
       | clint wrote:
       | Never understood the impetus to do the exit interview. I just
       | simply decline and no one follows up or makes any kind of deal
       | about it.
        
         | nickff wrote:
         | There's no use to interviewing someone who doesn't want to
         | participate, which is probably why nobody follows up.
        
       | moomin wrote:
       | I remember doing an extremely painful one back in the day. I was
       | leaving because relations had already broken down but i had no
       | particular desire to burn any more bridges than i had to. So they
       | got the only person who didn't already know me on the HR team to
       | do it. I felt sorry for them, they might as well have been twelve
       | and had zero context for the conversation.
       | 
       | Q: Did you feel like a valued member of the team?
       | 
       | A: I chose to leave.
       | 
       | Q: (getting pretty exasperated by this point) Would you care to
       | expand on that.
       | 
       | A: No.
       | 
       | Grief, it was painful and i remember it to that day. But yes, the
       | moment you've handed in your resignation, that part of your life
       | is over. There's literally no upside in doing anything other than
       | smiling and getting out of the door.
        
         | nickff wrote:
         | > _" the moment you've handed in your resignation, that part of
         | your life is over. There's literally no upside in doing
         | anything other than smiling and getting out of the door."_
         | 
         | From a purely selfish point of view, you're usually right. That
         | said, if the organization is functional, (and yes, I know
         | that's a big 'if',) such an interview with a departing team
         | member can provide valuable feedback that might lead to
         | improvements for the remaining team members.
        
       | jrsdav wrote:
       | I have only given negative feedback once when leaving a job, and
       | it resulted in pretty sweeping changes in leadership across the
       | department. I've since found out that the whole ordeal garnered
       | me "legendary" status amongst the remaining employees.
       | 
       | On the flip side, the author is right -- it's a small world out
       | there. While I don't regret doing the "right thing" and speaking
       | up about serious issues, I am nervous that I burned some bridges
       | with the two leaders who were let go after my departure. So far
       | it hasn't come back to bite me (~8 years and 3 jobs later), but
       | as they say time will tell.
        
         | jxjnskkzxxhx wrote:
         | If that's true, why didn't you give that feedback while working
         | there? Sweeping changes in leadership - if that's true they
         | might hired you.
        
           | rcxdude wrote:
           | Often it only gets attention if it's delivered with some
           | strong action.
        
         | cyanydeez wrote:
         | Black balling is only for the rich and powerful...dont try it
         | please, you need them to survive.
         | 
         | I agree, you dont need an exit interview but the logic everyone
         | is parroting is how sociopath keep entrenched
        
       | ironchef wrote:
       | "Here's why: There is absolutely no benefit for you to gain by
       | talking in an exit interview, and plenty of negative consequences
       | to come out of it. At best you'll be remembered as a complainer,
       | and you may make enemies."
       | 
       | I guess I would counter with if I have friends there, I would
       | like their lives to be better. If my exit interview is able to do
       | that, then I would take that as a net positive.
        
         | jonstewart wrote:
         | The only possible way to help is by providing positive
         | reinforcement. "I loved working with X. Y is really killing it
         | on her KPIs." I am otherwise in agreement with TFA.
        
       | mystified5016 wrote:
       | Like all things, there's a place and time.
       | 
       | If you're walking out over unfair treatment or wage theft or
       | similar, sure, skip the interview.
       | 
       | If you're at the end of your first internship, or leaving on good
       | terms, or both parties genuinely care, there's plenty to be
       | gained.
       | 
       | The exit interview I had with an intern after my first time
       | mentoring was very valuable for both of us, and was a positive
       | point in our relationship.
       | 
       | On the other hand, I'm quitting the same job and will be
       | declining any exit interview with "I've spent the last six months
       | explaining to you why I'm quitting". There is no value at all to
       | be gained from the conversation so I won't.
       | 
       | Skip the interview if the job sucks. Participate if you think
       | you'll get value, or in particular if you're young and early in
       | your career.
        
       | throwawaymaths wrote:
       | > There is absolutely no benefit for you to gain by talking in an
       | exit interview
       | 
       | small startup, you already have excercised shares, you want the
       | company to continue to hockey stick but you think there is a
       | blind spot in leadership that blocks hockey sticking.
        
       | akdor1154 wrote:
       | > There is absolutely no benefit for you to gain by talking in an
       | exit interview, and plenty of negative consequences to come out
       | of it.
       | 
       | This horrible game theory bullshit being applied to all work
       | interactions is why I will never work for an American company
       | again.
        
       | _def wrote:
       | Why not try to improve the place you leave behind? Feedback is
       | valuable and can be hard to do honestly while you depend on the
       | job. This almost reads like fearmongering to keep cargo cults
       | going some people profit off.
        
       | charlie-83 wrote:
       | It's possible to give feedback without burning bridges. At my
       | last place I had a very long exit interview where I explained all
       | the bad management decisions that led to me leading. I made it
       | very clear that this was my account of events and focused
       | entirely on how the decisions had affected me rather than saying
       | what I think they should have done. They were really interested
       | in the feedback and not remotely defensive.
       | 
       | Why do this? 1. I was leaving behind a lot of people I consider
       | friends and wanted them to have a better experience. 2. I think
       | it gave a good last impression which they might remember.
       | 
       | Obviously this was my specific situation and the managers were
       | actually normal, nice people who could fathom that they may have
       | made mistakes which isn't always the case.
        
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