[HN Gopher] Queer in the country: Why some LGBTQ Americans prefe...
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       Queer in the country: Why some LGBTQ Americans prefer rural life to
       urban
        
       Author : PaulHoule
       Score  : 16 points
       Date   : 2025-06-02 19:41 UTC (3 hours ago)
        
 (HTM) web link (theconversation.com)
 (TXT) w3m dump (theconversation.com)
        
       | skyyler wrote:
       | >But, as some of the people I interviewed reminded me, no matter
       | where they lived they would not be fully accepted.
       | 
       | >"As a trans person, I'm always going to have to deal with people
       | discriminating against me," one woman said.
       | 
       | >Living in a rural locale with an active local music scene let
       | her focus on aspects of her identity that were more important to
       | her than her gender identity.
       | 
       | This is my experience as well. I don't experience more stares or
       | scowls in rural areas than I do in urban centers. Even in San
       | Francisco, being visibly transgender is often uncomfortable.
        
         | bad_username wrote:
         | And, conversely, village people are probably exposed to less HR
         | risk if they use the wrong pronoun.
        
           | skyyler wrote:
           | "HR risk if they use the wrong pronoun"
           | 
           | I don't mean to pick on you personally, but this sort of
           | thing gets on my nerves and I have to take a moment to say
           | something here.
           | 
           | I don't love how some people think I'm some sort of implicit
           | threat or ticking time bomb because of stories they've heard
           | or read about people like me. Like most people in the office,
           | I just want to be able to do my work. I'm not trying to cause
           | problems for people. The thought that me living my life makes
           | some people feel like they have to walk on eggshells is
           | awful. Luckily most people don't see me as some kind of
           | threat like this, but it's obvious when people do.
           | 
           | I can't speak for everyone, but for me personally, going to
           | HR for _anything_ is terrifying. Going to HR to complain
           | about a valid grievance is scary. Going to HR over a simple
           | mistake that a well-meaning person made feels like it would
           | explode my career. It's hard enough to get a job as an openly
           | transgender person.
        
             | givemeethekeys wrote:
             | Once you / someone in your network gets HR'd over something
             | new, you will take steps to prevent a repeat event.
        
         | chaoskanzlerin wrote:
         | I've had the very same experience in Bavaria, even with Munich
         | having a reputation as "million-sized village". (otoh said
         | problem was even worse in Berlin and the Ruhr valley, when I
         | visited)
        
       | Clamchop wrote:
       | > But my analysis of a 2013 Pew Survey of LGBTQ Americans -- the
       | latest available comprehensive national survey data on this
       | population -- showed that LGBTQ rural residents are actually more
       | likely to be legally married than their urban counterparts --
       | 24.8% compared with 18.6%. This aligns with what I've heard in
       | interviews. The rural LGBTQ people I spoke with placed a high
       | value on monogamy - on what many of them consider a "normal"
       | life.
       | 
       | This is one of those cases where causality is implied but is
       | questionable. Finding lovers in the sticks is hard enough; it is
       | exceptionally difficult if you are queer, and that's going to
       | influence behavior and choices in all sorts of ways, and those
       | can be rationalized in all sorts of ways, too.
       | 
       | A less charged example: adults living in cities are (probably)
       | more likely to participate in, and value participating in, team
       | sports. Let's assume they report honestly as such on a
       | questionnaire.
       | 
       | Obviously, there are more opportunities to play sports in cities,
       | but does that imply that rural folks wouldn't partake at about
       | the same rate if they could, even though they say that they
       | wouldn't?
       | 
       | I can see plausible arguments in either direction, and for
       | several kinds of selection and reporting biases.
        
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       (page generated 2025-06-02 23:01 UTC)