[HN Gopher] Queer in the country: Why some LGBTQ Americans prefe...
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Queer in the country: Why some LGBTQ Americans prefer rural life to
urban
Author : PaulHoule
Score : 16 points
Date : 2025-06-02 19:41 UTC (3 hours ago)
(HTM) web link (theconversation.com)
(TXT) w3m dump (theconversation.com)
| skyyler wrote:
| >But, as some of the people I interviewed reminded me, no matter
| where they lived they would not be fully accepted.
|
| >"As a trans person, I'm always going to have to deal with people
| discriminating against me," one woman said.
|
| >Living in a rural locale with an active local music scene let
| her focus on aspects of her identity that were more important to
| her than her gender identity.
|
| This is my experience as well. I don't experience more stares or
| scowls in rural areas than I do in urban centers. Even in San
| Francisco, being visibly transgender is often uncomfortable.
| bad_username wrote:
| And, conversely, village people are probably exposed to less HR
| risk if they use the wrong pronoun.
| skyyler wrote:
| "HR risk if they use the wrong pronoun"
|
| I don't mean to pick on you personally, but this sort of
| thing gets on my nerves and I have to take a moment to say
| something here.
|
| I don't love how some people think I'm some sort of implicit
| threat or ticking time bomb because of stories they've heard
| or read about people like me. Like most people in the office,
| I just want to be able to do my work. I'm not trying to cause
| problems for people. The thought that me living my life makes
| some people feel like they have to walk on eggshells is
| awful. Luckily most people don't see me as some kind of
| threat like this, but it's obvious when people do.
|
| I can't speak for everyone, but for me personally, going to
| HR for _anything_ is terrifying. Going to HR to complain
| about a valid grievance is scary. Going to HR over a simple
| mistake that a well-meaning person made feels like it would
| explode my career. It's hard enough to get a job as an openly
| transgender person.
| givemeethekeys wrote:
| Once you / someone in your network gets HR'd over something
| new, you will take steps to prevent a repeat event.
| chaoskanzlerin wrote:
| I've had the very same experience in Bavaria, even with Munich
| having a reputation as "million-sized village". (otoh said
| problem was even worse in Berlin and the Ruhr valley, when I
| visited)
| Clamchop wrote:
| > But my analysis of a 2013 Pew Survey of LGBTQ Americans -- the
| latest available comprehensive national survey data on this
| population -- showed that LGBTQ rural residents are actually more
| likely to be legally married than their urban counterparts --
| 24.8% compared with 18.6%. This aligns with what I've heard in
| interviews. The rural LGBTQ people I spoke with placed a high
| value on monogamy - on what many of them consider a "normal"
| life.
|
| This is one of those cases where causality is implied but is
| questionable. Finding lovers in the sticks is hard enough; it is
| exceptionally difficult if you are queer, and that's going to
| influence behavior and choices in all sorts of ways, and those
| can be rationalized in all sorts of ways, too.
|
| A less charged example: adults living in cities are (probably)
| more likely to participate in, and value participating in, team
| sports. Let's assume they report honestly as such on a
| questionnaire.
|
| Obviously, there are more opportunities to play sports in cities,
| but does that imply that rural folks wouldn't partake at about
| the same rate if they could, even though they say that they
| wouldn't?
|
| I can see plausible arguments in either direction, and for
| several kinds of selection and reporting biases.
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(page generated 2025-06-02 23:01 UTC)