[HN Gopher] One hundred and one rules of effective living
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One hundred and one rules of effective living
Author : mathgenius
Score : 81 points
Date : 2025-05-13 11:41 UTC (11 hours ago)
(HTM) web link (mitchhorowitz.substack.com)
(TXT) w3m dump (mitchhorowitz.substack.com)
| ngangaga wrote:
| If point 2 is something so subjective as "deal plainly", point 0
| should probably be "be honest with yourself". More to the point--
| why would anyone _want_ to do otherwise? The hard part is
| satisfying your own evaluation.
|
| > 4) There exists uncanny congruity between thought and
| experience.
|
| Charitably, there must be a more effective way to articulate this
| sentiment.
|
| I could go on, but that seems sufficient to address the overall
| tone of the writing.
|
| EDIT: I apologize for being so critical. These are clearly well-
| thought-out points and I'm not trying to detract from that. I'm
| just not sure how to process someone else's internal
| understanding of themselves in a generally useful manner.
| jewayne wrote:
| Yeah, I just realized there are two very different ways to
| parse the statement. I initially saw it as "Experiences shape
| thoughts in predictable ways." But the other way to interpret
| it is "Attitude shapes experiences in predictable ways."
| throwaway173738 wrote:
| I feel like that second interpretation is the seat of so much
| misery and of so much happiness.
| tcfhgj wrote:
| > why would anyone want to do otherwise?
|
| lying to yourself is sometimes a easy way out of cognitive
| dissonance
| mudiadamz wrote:
| More like how to be mediocre boring life advice
| ngangaga wrote:
| Ach, there's no need to be a dick.
| mbb70 wrote:
| > 42) Do not be an asshole.
|
| This list is paying dividends already!
|
| > 41) Use sarcasm rarely.
|
| ...Shoot
| linsomniac wrote:
| Reluctantly admitting 41 is correct right here.
| whooshnoise wrote:
| Odd that this list made you so angry you had to post how boring
| the people who follow must be? I feel sorry for you. Honestly.
| Judgement of others tends to make people miserable.
| mcphage wrote:
| Do you always assume that someone who disagrees with you must
| have been angry about it?
| whooshnoise wrote:
| When they use angry phrasing yes. It's not a difficult
| concept, reading comprehension. Except maybe it is for the
| TikTok generation.
| awkward wrote:
| > 7) Do not over-talk.
|
| > 72) A positive mental attitude means evaluating circumstances
| based on their capacity for self-development.
| pricees wrote:
| "35) Give no second chances to anyone who shows disrespect"
|
| This is one of the worst rules I have ever read. Taken literally
| it can squander a life otherwise well lived.
| turnsout wrote:
| Yeah, might as well make the rule "35) Be inflexible and cruel
| when it suits you."
| vkou wrote:
| I like that phrasing of it more. Someone following it will
| live pretty effectively.
| jdthedisciple wrote:
| I could relate to it only for one reason:
|
| I was treated disrespectfully at a restaurant recently.
|
| I do not plan on returning there ever.
| worik wrote:
| > "35) Give no second chances to anyone who shows disrespect"
|
| This bit me.
|
| I work for a disrespectful person.
|
| It is awful.
| AtlasBarfed wrote:
| 102. Exercise
| WastedCucumber wrote:
| 103. Wear sunscreen.
| snide wrote:
| I've always like Ben Franklin's 13 virtues. It's a short list.
|
| TEMPERANCE. Eat not to dullness; drink not to elevation.
|
| SILENCE. Speak not but what may benefit others or yourself; avoid
| trifling conversation.
|
| ORDER. Let all your things have their places; let each part of
| your business have its time.
|
| RESOLUTION. Resolve to perform what you ought; perform without
| fail what you resolve.
|
| FRUGALITY. Make no expense but to do good to others or yourself;
| i.e., waste nothing.
|
| INDUSTRY. Lose no time; be always employ'd in something useful;
| cut off all unnecessary actions.
|
| SINCERITY. Use no hurtful deceit; think innocently and justly,
| and, if you speak, speak accordingly.
|
| JUSTICE. Wrong none by doing injuries or omitting the benefits
| that are your duty.
|
| MODERATION. Avoid extremes; forbear resenting injuries so much as
| you think they deserve.
|
| CLEANLINESS. Tolerate no uncleanliness in body, cloaths, or
| habitation.
|
| TRANQUILLITY. Be not disturbed at trifles, or at accidents common
| or unavoidable.
|
| CHASTITY. Rarely use venery but for health or offspring, never to
| dulness, weakness, or the injury of your own or another's peace
| or reputation.
|
| HUMILITY. Imitate Jesus and Socrates.
| stuartjohnson12 wrote:
| That sounds like a very boring and miserable way to live. To
| respond with one of my own:
|
| ---
|
| When I am an old woman I shall wear purple
|
| With a red hat which doesn't go, and doesn't suit me.
|
| And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves
|
| And satin sandals, and say we've no money for butter.
|
| I shall sit down on the pavement when I'm tired
|
| And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells
|
| And run my stick along the public railings
|
| And make up for the sobriety of my youth.
|
| I shall go out in my slippers in the rain
|
| And pick the flowers in other people's gardens
|
| And learn to spit.
| bix6 wrote:
| Today I learned about the red hat society, thank you
| xyzwave wrote:
| Fair critique, we should never lose the spirit of play, but
| Franklin's guidance seems very much in line with a quote from
| Gustave Flaubert I often see echoed:
|
| > Be steady and well-ordered in your life so that you can be
| fierce and original in your work
| mindtricks wrote:
| I think it's fair to have principles and still have an
| interesting an active life. The best example of this would
| have to be, well, Ben Franklin.
| reverendsteveii wrote:
| while I like redhatting as much as anyone the interesting
| wrinkle to this criticism of franklin in particular is that
| this is much more like the way he actually lived than the
| principles he listed were. in fact, I dare say the only thing
| he missed on this list was making up for the non-existent
| sobriety of his youth.
| readthenotes1 wrote:
| The poem:
|
| https://www.poetry.com/poem/141551/warning
|
| (When I am an old woman, I will annotate other people's
| comments, With inapposite quibbling or info they already know
| ...)
| ericmcer wrote:
| I was teaching my dog to bark less, and I worried a bit that
| it might make him sit silently when I actually want him to
| bark, like if a stranger was coming through the window.
|
| After a ton of training I realized he will never stop
| barking, he can realize that what he is doing is not right,
| but the urge to bark at every noise he hears will always be
| something we have to work on. We will never get it "right".
|
| I think Ben Franklins strict rules are the same way.
| Obviously you can't run your entire life with military
| discipline, but you have to set the ideal fairly high because
| you are going to fall short over and over.
| wordpad wrote:
| That's the problem with set rules.
|
| Overly productive and active people create rules to better
| focus their productivity and tame their impulses.
|
| Someone unambitious and lazy would see more benefit from a
| single rule that says go do something, literally anything!
| gatlin wrote:
| Genuine question: if you could tell Ben Franklin this, would
| you? I'm not even disagreeing with you, nor do I think there
| is a correct answer, but your answer and the reasoning behind
| it would genuinely interest me.
| s_dev wrote:
| Reminds me of the Core Principles from Severance.
| arealaccount wrote:
| Clearly Mr Franklin has never hyperscaled a tech company
| os2warpman wrote:
| Having read quite a bit about Franklin, his life was defined by
| an extremely generous interpretation of some of those virtues.
| dole wrote:
| "Franklin did not try to work on them all at once. Instead,
| he worked on only one each week "leaving all others to their
| ordinary chance." While he did not adhere completely to the
| enumerated virtues, and by his own admission he fell short of
| them many times, he believed the attempt made him a better
| man, contributing greatly to his success and happiness, which
| is why in his autobiography, he devoted more pages to this
| plan than to any other single point and wrote, "I hope,
| therefore, that some of my descendants may follow the example
| and reap the benefit."
|
| [0]
| https://www.ushistory.org/franklin/autobiography/page38.htm
| IncreasePosts wrote:
| AIUI these are from his autobiography, which he wrote during
| the last 20 years of his life. I wonder if he wrote this
| section before his decade in France? As I understand it, while
| there, he very intentionally led a life with little temperance,
| silence, frugality, moderation, and chastity.
| Ackchyually2 wrote:
| MAGA is out of control, will USA become leper colony?
| whooshnoise wrote:
| I didn't know Thoreau read "The Secret".
| daveguy wrote:
| > 100) Those who bill by the hour work not for you but for the
| hour.
|
| This is just not true. Some bill by the hour to be certain that
| full and focused work is applied _for you and your project_. In
| other words, if someone is following even a fraction of these 101
| rules, then they are working for you. Maybe I am misunderstanding
| what this rule is trying to say. But, it seems like the mode of
| payment is completely orthogonal to the motive and priority of
| the person working.
| throwaway173738 wrote:
| Hourly is for work where you don't know when it will be
| finished because you have no idea what you're getting in to.
| Try demanding a flat rate next time you need a slow leak in a
| pipe in a wall repaired.
| jebarker wrote:
| I often wonder if there's any real benefit in reading things like
| this. Philosophising (and meditating) without putting it into
| practice in your life is largely worthless, but I tend to think
| with ideas like this you only learn them through experience.
| LVB wrote:
| [delayed]
| FollowingTheDao wrote:
| You do not need 101 rules. Just embrace the three treasures of
| the Dao:
|
| Compassion, frugality, and humility.
| neilv wrote:
| > _8) Speak only of what you know well._
|
| OK, but that's going to wipe out 99%+ of Internet 'content', HN
| included.
| keiferski wrote:
| I've thought about this before and concluded that it's because
| HN/other sites are somewhat hostile to the approach of
| beginner's mind, admitting you know nothing but want to learn
| more, etc. Asking basic questions tends to get you ridiculed or
| downvoted, and most subreddits have onerous lists of rules you
| have to follow before asking anything. YouTube and TikTok also
| incentivize acting like someone that has no doubts and is
| completely certain that they're right.
|
| I suppose that dynamic isn't hugely different from a typical
| in-person social situation (e.g., a classroom where kids are
| afraid to look stupid by asking questions) but it would be cool
| if a social platform incentivized people to ask "dumb"
| questions they are curious about.
|
| At this point though, ChatGPT is basically fulfilling this
| function for me, and its lack of judgement is refreshing
| compared to the typical Ask subreddit.
| gilleain wrote:
| Agreed about questions, although I have seen people have
| positive results by starting their question with some
| humility.
|
| However there is the opposite problem - usually known as 'the
| empty pot sounds loudest' - where those who respond or
| comment are often those with the confidence of their
| simplistic opinions. Those with a more nuanced or expert view
| are more hesitant, so are less likely to weigh in.
|
| HN is a lot better than other places (youtube comments!
| reddit!) but of course falls into these traps as well.
| throwaway_sage wrote:
| honestly a very good list (is it good because I happen to follow
| nearly all of these rules?)
|
| nonetheless i made an account just to support it
| reverendsteveii wrote:
| hey mitch, how goes it?
| corry wrote:
| 101 rules? Too many. I vastly prefer not a rule but THE life
| challenge with thanks to Mary Oliver:
|
| "Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and
| precious life?"
| bwfan123 wrote:
| these 100 rules are missing an important one. step back, and
| simplify. these rules are a result of overthinking which is
| something to avoid.
|
| far simpler rules have been laid out numerous times in the
| classics.
|
| such as: the golden rule of ethics, ie, dont do unto others
| what you dont want done to you, and the serenity prayer etc.
| lifefeed wrote:
| > In more than thirty years as a writer, editor, and publisher, I
| have, to my best reckoning, introduced, abridged, issued or
| reissued, and read nearly every major work of inspirational
| literature produced or translated into English.
|
| I'm always wary of people who spend too much time in the world of
| inspirational books. It's healthy to read a little, and to
| "sharpen the ax" every so often, but reading too much of this
| stuff is mind-numbing outside of historiography reasons.
| hnthrow90348765 wrote:
| >1) Do your work--do it on time and fully, if not early and
| overabundantly.
|
| I cannot overstate how absolutely hollow it must be that work is
| your #1 rule of living
|
| The next saddest thing is that the only mention of love is a
| fucking Machiavelli quote
| reverendsteveii wrote:
| Work != job
|
| One of my greatest pleasures has been orienting my life toward
| projects and away from pleasures. I now find myself doing a lot
| of what other people consider work, but self-directed and self-
| paced in a way that brings me incredible, deep satisfaction. No
| one, including me, forces me to do these things. I do them
| because I like doing them. Bodybuilding, maintaining my home,
| lawn and garden, cooking/brewing/fermenting, building software.
| I'm not an extraordinarily wealthy man but if I woke up
| tomorrow with "comfortably live the rest of your life based on
| interest alone" money I don't suspect my life would change all
| that much.
|
| Once you're doing that sort of work, the meaning of this rule
| will become clear as will its meaninglessness.
| PaulRobinson wrote:
| If these are in priority order, sure. If not, it's 0.9909% of
| the rules of living.
|
| That Machiavelli quote is a poor take on love as part of life,
| I agree.
|
| In defense of TFA though, it is titled rules of _effective_
| living, not necessarily _happy_ living.
|
| The rules on avoiding cruel people and who treat others badly
| are kind of like an anti-rule that works here though: if you're
| judicious and conscientious about that, I think you just end up
| with loving people around you, in every type of relationship:
| acquaintance, familial, friendship, intimate...
| hex4def6 wrote:
| Some of my most stressful times at work have been when I had
| the least stuff to do. It's nice for a few days, but when it
| stretches into weeks I start feeling queasy.
|
| Obviously, being buried under an avalanche of thankless work is
| just as bad.
|
| My ideal life would be some sprints of large effort (maybe
| pulling the occasional all-nighter once in a while), followed
| by rest / low work times.
|
| A constant amount of work, all the same, blurs the days
| together. Too little, and you start feeling useless. Too much
| (consistently) and you're overwhelmed.
| jdalgetty wrote:
| I always enjoy reading these.
| aquariusDue wrote:
| At some point a committee ought to write a manual for life and
| living. Though by most accounts it might be easier to write a
| modern standard library for C.
| noja wrote:
| Everybody's Free To Wear Sunscreen
| iJohnDoe wrote:
| A lot of these are learned through experiences in life. When
| you're young it's almost impossible to understand or recognize
| some of these in the moment. As you get older, you start to learn
| what's important to you, and what you like and don't like. Then
| you tend to respond quicker to situations.
| world2vec wrote:
| Some points contradict others:
|
| 20) Get away from cruel people--at all costs.
|
| 58) "If we must choose between them, it is far safer to be feared
| than loved." (Machiavelli)
|
| This is simply a self-help back-of-the-book quotes compilation.
| reverendsteveii wrote:
| this feels like another person who sits by himself thinking about
| things that sound wise to him. he operates on the assumption that
| he is wise because wise sounding things sound wise to him, and
| also that those things are wise because they sound wise to him
| and he is wise. they're great for books, blogs and other one-way
| forms of communication where their entire job is just satisfying
| fridge logic so that the audience upvotes and moves along. not so
| much for dialogue and discussion that will eventually sort every
| point into buckets labelled "meaningless" or "self-evident". it's
| the tobacconist's yoga: a contortionate attempt to blow smoke up
| one's own ass unassisted.
| xivzgrev wrote:
| I like how these kind of lists get us talking and thinking about
| our own experiences. What do you agree with, not agree with?
|
| "Those who bill by the hour work not for you but for the hour."
| Strikes me as cynical. Yes some people can run up the clock, but
| paying by the hour is also fundamentally the most fair work
| arrangement. You are asking for someone's time, you pay for that
| time.
|
| Flat rate work gets into their own issues. For example, suppose
| you want your home deep cleaned and someone charges you $x to do
| so. A great deal!
|
| Except you find after the fact they missed a lot of stuff.
| Technically they followed through on the letter of what you
| agreed to but they did the bare minimum. There's no pride in the
| work. If you had paid by the hour, you could've asked them to
| stay and focus on some areas that matter more to you.
|
| Or conversely, there's lots of horror stories here about devs
| accepting flat rate work and getting endlessly dragged thru
| change requests
| reverendsteveii wrote:
| >I like how these kind of lists get us talking and thinking
| about our own experiences. What do you agree with, not agree
| with?
|
| I panned this list in a different comment but I like it a lot
| better from this perspective. It's not necessarily there to be
| right. Sometimes it's there to say things to which your
| immediate response is "That's bullshit" but in a way that
| forces you to articulate why, or (and this is even better) to
| admit that you can't. Like when I read Heinlein.
| edoceo wrote:
| I bill by the hour, but in chunks (20, 40, etc). I do
| discovery, define scope and that I determine scope, then work
| on narrow scoped thing. (Hard part) document each ECR, set
| scope and communicate price. Likely to next billed-task. Kinda
| combines fixed&hourly; not perfect.
| CompoundEyes wrote:
| These things remind me of the book "My Year of Living Biblically"
| by A.J. Jacobs. In our lives if we stopped to consult a list of
| all the platitudes we've ever come across one by one each time we
| did or experienced anything it would be similarly as absurd full
| of contradiction paralyzing.
| jxjnskkzxxhx wrote:
| > In terms of investments, virtually nothing, over time, outpaces
| an index fund.
|
| Stopped reading here, waste of time.
| standardUser wrote:
| > Prepare for the day when your best friend betrays you.
|
| Before you strap those extra rounds of ammo to your vest, may I
| suggest simply finding better friends?
|
| There's several on the list that sound a bit paranoid to me. And
| many more that make it feel like I'm being scolded by a
| schoolmarm. But there's definitely some gems. My favorite...
|
| > Cynics know nothing.
| derbOac wrote:
| When I first glanced at your post I thought you were pointing
| out the irony of contrast between your first and last line.
| highfrequency wrote:
| > Judge quality not category
|
| I like this one. Would be curious to hear the author's
| elaboration.
| ChrisMarshallNY wrote:
| Man, those are great.
|
| Thanks for posting this!
| GMoromisato wrote:
| I've narrowed my algorithm to three (not so simple) rules:
|
| 1. Know yourself.
|
| 2. Work hard.
|
| 3. Serve others.
|
| I think 90% of unhappiness comes from violating at least one of
| these rules.
|
| Conversely, of course, following these rules doesn't guarantee
| happiness, but (I think) it increases your chances.
| worik wrote:
| 1.1 Forgive yourself
| ridiculous_leke wrote:
| > 44) Reduce food intake by twenty percent.
|
| Why exactly twenty percent?
| ergonaught wrote:
| 1. Ignore lists of 101 anything.
| eointierney wrote:
| Be kind as in be like thyself as in see thyself in others as in
| don't be unkind as in be kind
|
| The rest is noise in an expanding universe
| exiguus wrote:
| 89) Arrogance is a form of stupidity.
|
| If you wish to train your mind with such aphorisms and craft your
| own, I recommend reading Nietzsche, Schopenhauer, or more modern
| thinkers like Heidegger and Adorno. Each of them has collections
| of aphorisms, akin to an elevated 'Farmer's Almanac'.
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