[HN Gopher] Stoop Coffee: A simple idea transformed my neighborhood
___________________________________________________________________
Stoop Coffee: A simple idea transformed my neighborhood
Author : surprisetalk
Score : 656 points
Date : 2025-03-25 17:16 UTC (5 hours ago)
(HTM) web link (supernuclear.substack.com)
(TXT) w3m dump (supernuclear.substack.com)
| afavour wrote:
| > my husband Tyler and I wanted that sense of community that
| feels like it's only possible in the suburbs, but we believed we
| could achieve this while living in San Francisco.
|
| This genuinely threw me because in my experience the suburbs are
| the antithesis of this, just lots of people occupying neighboring
| space and rarely talking to each other.
|
| Still, a heartwarming story all the same. And yes, this is
| _exactly_ what city living should enable.
| happytoexplain wrote:
| >just lots of people occupying neighboring space and rarely
| talking to each other.
|
| This is a bitter stereotype that is leveled against both city-
| dwellers and suburb-dwellers, and, like many stereotypes, has
| some truth to it in both cases, but amounts to uncalled-for
| negativity. Some people don't want to interact with their
| neighbors, regardless of whether they live in a city or a
| suburb. Others are sociable with their community, and express
| it just as well whether they live in a city or a suburb.
| rcpt wrote:
| I installed nextdoor and now I actively avoid interacting
| with my neighbors
| jjice wrote:
| Why's that? Never used the app. Is it just a lot of
| negativity and you get negative vibes from them?
| roflchoppa wrote:
| I don't use it, but some family members do... From what
| they describe, it sounds like an app to complain/snitch
| on people.
| JoshTriplett wrote:
| It attracts the same kinds of people who love homeowners
| associations, yes.
| RankingMember wrote:
| It is exactly that. A lot of "saw a black guy walking
| down the street...should I call police?"
| Kevguy wrote:
| NextDoor used to be bad about that, but they are now much
| more careful to remove it quickly if anyone does post
| racist crap. Now it seems to be 50% paid ads, 30%
| lost/found pets, 10% unpaid ads, and 10% everything else.
| Worth checking to find the owner of a stray dog or cat,
| but not much else.
| RankingMember wrote:
| I deleted the app a few years ago because it was a drag.
| Glad (and honestly surprised) to hear you say they remove
| the racist stuff quickly, and not surprised it's mostly
| ads these days.
| hombre_fatal wrote:
| It exposes you to the mental illness of some people, like
| the kind of person who will make a thread asking if
| anybody knows this new runner they saw jog by their place
| because it's very suspicious and it's making them very
| angry that someone would jog down their street.
|
| Or bicker about street parking. Or people who post on
| social media in general, like to talk about politics or
| fake outrage over nothing or the weird boasting people
| like to do like post a news article about some family
| freezing to death in the Yukon and how disappointing it
| is that the husband didn't keep his SUV prepped for such
| an occasion like I do here in Houston--you know, I don't
| even leave my house without <LARP armor>.
|
| It can get in the way of a foundational part of the
| social fabric: being able to assume your neighbors are
| normal, nice people.
| rufus_foreman wrote:
| >> the kind of person who will make a thread asking if
| anybody knows this new runner they saw jog by their place
|
| That's what the urbanologist Jane Jacobs, in her book
| "The Death and Life of Great American Cities" called
| "eyes upon the street, eyes belonging to those we might
| call the natural proprietors of the street".
|
| As she said, "The first thing to understand is that the
| public peace - the sidewalk and street peace - of cities
| is not kept primarily by the police, necessary as police
| are. It is kept primarily by an intricate, almost
| unconscious, network of voluntary controls and standards
| among the people themselves, and enforced by the people
| themselves".
|
| To many people, of course, this is disgusting behavior.
| ryandrake wrote:
| Social Media in general (not just Nextdoor) has outed so
| many angry, belligerent, mentally-unwell, terrible people
| who, for a really long time, have successfully pretended
| to be normal and nice. Not just neighbors, but friends
| and even family. It's like the movie _They Live_ , but
| where we all suddenly got the ability to see who the
| antagonists are, and realized there are so many more than
| we thought there were...
| tonyedgecombe wrote:
| Even worse they get to talk to and encourage each other.
| At least they used to think they were odd, now they think
| they are normal.
| SoftTalker wrote:
| Social media tends to bring out the worst in people.
| volkk wrote:
| i think most of the types of people you'd want to hang out
| with aren't posting on nextdoor
| abalashov wrote:
| Underrated insight of the week.
| neilv wrote:
| When they started mentioning WhatsApp, I did have the
| briefest thought that this could be marketing to try to
| replace NextDoor.
|
| There's certainly opportunity. NextDoor comments here are
| of mixed quality. And the NextDoor feed seems to have the
| ad saturation cranked up unpleasantly high.
|
| > _Thus, the WhatsApp group was born. At first this was
| just a place to announce when we'd be out having stoop
| coffee, but we soon realized people wanted to connect over
| more things than just coffee. So we ended up converting the
| group into a WhatsApp Community where we could have chats
| dedicated to certain topics or groups and plan other types
| of events together._
| margalabargala wrote:
| > NextDoor comments here are of mixed quality.
|
| You're lucky, sounds like your local NextDoor community
| has above average (for NextDoor) comment quality...
| neilv wrote:
| Even before we had some unelected mentally ill person
| making Nazi salutes at a US Presidential inauguration,
| and then still handed them unprecedented powers to
| disassemble our government... and a whole lot of people
| seeming fine with that...
|
| The signs of a populace with wildly conflicting values, a
| lot of anger, a lot of mental illness, and a lot of
| cognitive problems and knowledge deficit... has been
| apparent in online comments for a couple decades.
|
| One thing with NextDoor might be that it's developed a
| reputation. So that many people expect that the typical
| post will be some alarmed retiree posting a doorbell cam
| photo of a "suspicious person" going to doors on their
| street, who was obviously delivering packages while being
| nonwhite. In real life, most people would minimize
| interaction with the alarmed person, not install an app
| to get more of it.
|
| Another thing with NextDoor is that some aspects of the
| experience are really user hostile. Besides the ad
| saturation-bombing, and the user interface that could use
| some cleanup and straigtening-out, there's things like
| 2FA (for Nextdoor!). I'd love to see numbers on how many
| users that 2FA alone cost them, and what they got in
| return. A UI cleanup is possible only if it's not
| overruled by the people doing the ad saturation, where
| user confusion just means more opportunity to show ads
| (until those users dont' come back, and don't bring their
| friends, but that's someone else's KPI this quarter).
| madeofpalk wrote:
| In the rest of the world (London, at least), WhatsApp is
| used for communities/building developments. It's the
| exact same NextDoor hell, but just with more instant
| messaging.
| garfield_light wrote:
| > This could be marketing to try to replace NextDoor.
|
| This is kinda funny from my perspective. In most of the
| world WhatsApp reigns supreme to such a degree, that
| advertising for it would have the same pointlessness of a
| Coca Cola ad. In LATAM every neighborhood, department
| building, workplace and school has a multitude of
| Whatsapp groups.
|
| The good and functioning ones are: work related, have
| people that organically have become dang or are too small
| to receive "manual" spam / random petty fights. The
| "manual" spam is people sending MLM scams, annoyingly
| advertising their side hustles, political or religious
| message chains. People also will fight _publicly_ because
| someone may or not have flirted with someone else 's
| husband. Forums are eternal.
|
| The only thing like NextDoor here is SoSafe, a community
| safety app, which quarantines the crazy people that see
| an "undesirable" taking a walk and wants to call the
| cops.
| neilv wrote:
| BTW, good comments, and sorry for the meta aside, but
| please be careful when quoting. I said:
|
| > _When they started mentioning WhatsApp, I did have the
| briefest thought that this could be marketing to try to
| replace NextDoor._
|
| But the quote of a fragment of that, without ellipses,
| and somehow capitalized, looks like a verbatim quote of
| an entire sentence, which changes the meaning
| substantially:
|
| > _This could be marketing to try to replace NextDoor._
|
| The difference in meaning is irrelevant to your comments,
| but, in general, others who come along will see and
| respond to quotes, so quotes take on a life of their own,
| while remaining attributed to a person (who didn't
| necessarily say that).
| inanutshellus wrote:
| "Meaning is irrelevant." ~neilv
|
| ;-)
| garfield_light wrote:
| Fair point, I'll be more careful.
| travisjungroth wrote:
| > the same pointlessness of a Coca Cola ad
|
| I agree that this would be a pointless exercise in
| advertising WhatsApp, but this is a kinda funny
| comparison. Coca-Cola is advertised like crazy. Unlike
| WhatsApp, advertising is an essential part of how they
| maintain their dominance. They don't have the network
| effects of WhatsApp.
| mauvehaus wrote:
| On the way home from the subway one snowy Boston evening, I
| joked with my wife that what the world needs is yelp, but
| for snow shoveling. People could get out all their passive-
| aggressive and aggressive-aggressive crap about their
| neighbors by complaining about the quality of the snow
| shoveling in the sidewalks in town.
|
| It seems Nextdoor has fulfilled that need and more.
| jimbokun wrote:
| Pretty sure it was a conversation just like this that led
| to the creation of Nextdoor.
| UncleOxidant wrote:
| I mean, I know you're kind of kidding, but there's also a
| lot of truth in it. When I was last on Nextdoor, a woman
| had posted asking for any information about a car that hit
| her as she was riding her bike and sent her to the
| hospital. She was trying to find people who might have
| witnessed the incident. People were answering that it was
| her fault for being on a bike. I uninstalled the app right
| then and there.
| drcongo wrote:
| Having lived most of my life in cities, I moved from London
| to the suburb of a smallish town about 4 years ago. Since
| that move, I've got to know maybe 20x more of my neighbours
| here than I managed in two decades in London. However, I also
| got a dog and I think 90% of this is down to that.
| drukenemo wrote:
| Very similar story to mine. Moving from Amsterdam to the
| "suburbs" of a smaller city in the Netherlands AND getting
| a dog was the only way I've found to meet new people and
| befriend neighbors.
| LawnGnome wrote:
| The dog part is definitely key. We moved a few blocks -- so
| within the same neighbourhood -- shortly after getting our
| dog, and it was amazing how much more quickly we got to
| know our new neighbours with our (extremely extroverted)
| then-puppy compared to the previous place. (And, on the
| flip side, I'm on a first name basis with every dog on my
| block, which usually implies also being on a first name
| basis with at least one of their humans.)
| dm03514 wrote:
| In my experiences of living in suburbs for 30 years, I've
| seen the default is to ignore neighbors.
|
| I don't really get this. Our communities have so much in
| common and so much overlap, we shop at the same stores, go to
| the same parks, get stuck in the same traffic, our kids are
| at the same schools,our neighbors care for us medically,
| teach our kids, maintain our dwellings, work on our cars, and
| contribute to our local municipalities through property tax.
| We vacation at the same places.
|
| We have so much in common but we put our heads down and duck
| into our homes ignoring our neighbors. To be honest it makes
| me really sick to think about. Like the internet has allowed
| us to live these parallel lives, highly dependent on our
| neighbors but completely isolated from them. We smile and nod
| then go to the ballots and kick our spite up to the federal
| level (in the US).
|
| To me, we have the majority of our lives in common.
|
| Social media and the political engines preys on our
| differences making them the focus of our interactions
| ignoring the fact that 90% of our day-to-day lives are
| overlapping and our concerns are similar: health, wealth,
| prosperity, safety, education and recreation.
|
| It's not much, but as I get older I'm making a point to slow
| down and talk to my neighbors, have real conversations with
| them, many of them fly political flags that are contrary to
| my political beliefs but I find out we have so much In common
| because we have such similar day-to-day lives and
| experiences.
| glitchc wrote:
| Part of it is politics. Totally correct about everything in
| common, and yet in the multicultural fabric we call
| society, politics could be vastly different:
|
| Neighbour 1 cares about Trump, neighbour 2 about Ukraine,
| neighbour 3 is focused on Palestine, neighbour 5 about
| public transit, while I might not care about any of those.
| All of them are going to seek like-minded people who are
| unlikely to be their next door neighbours. It wasn't like
| this in the past, where economic mobility was relatively
| limited.
|
| Multiculturalism coupled with economic mobility means often
| neighbours and you don't really have much in common. As an
| example my next door neighbour: He's a major, I'm in the
| sciences. We travel in different circles. I have a dog, he
| doesn't like pets. We both have kids but they are of
| different ages, don't go to the same schools and basically
| don't know each other. We met a few times then realized
| that we have very little in common and stopped interacting.
| There's nothing binding us beyond a shared geography.
| jll29 wrote:
| That's okay. You may still benefit from knowing each
| other when you run out of milk and shops are closed, or
| whatever favor neighbors can provide via the valuable
| indirect social graph connections (need a reference for a
| job or to enter a good uni, ask a neighbor who is a
| Harvard alum; or just let a kid interview a Republican
| neighbor for a school essay, or...), so it's good you
| sounded each other out.
|
| Not everybody has to be best buddies with their direct
| neighbors, but in my experience in a one-mile radius from
| you, whereever most of us are, there are some interesting
| folks nearby that are worth knowing, and they would say
| the same about you.
|
| Because of TV, social media, computer games and gadgets,
| we forgot how to socialize well, but if we (enough of us)
| care enough, we can re-learn it.
| dkarl wrote:
| > we shop at the same stores, go to the same parks, get
| stuck in the same traffic, our kids are at the same
| schools,our neighbors care for us medically, teach our
| kids, maintain our dwellings, work on our cars, and
| contribute to our local municipalities through property
| tax. We vacation at the same places
|
| I think this is only true if it's true. If you have a
| neighbor who doesn't have kids, doesn't shop at the same
| places you do, doesn't vacation at the same places you do,
| and doesn't work on their car, how do you think they feel
| about you characterizing the neighborhood that way?
|
| After growing up in a small town, I knew I didn't want to
| spend the rest of my life explaining that no, I don't have
| kids (and hearing them say, "oh, I'm so sorry,") no, I'm
| not fascinated by how my car works, no, I don't want my
| lawn to be a perfect uniform shade of unnatural green. I
| feel much more comfortable in the city, but I'm aware that
| it's only because I fit my liberal city neighbors'
| assumptions much better than I fit the assumptions in the
| small town I came from.
|
| To me, being on good terms with my neighbors is work. It's
| sometimes pleasant and almost always worth the effort, but
| it's work, and I'm always aware that I'm participating in
| the same game that felt so alienating and excluding when I
| was a kid in my hometown. The only differences are that the
| gap is a lot narrower and I've become more pragmatic about
| it. I skip past questions that uncover differences. I help
| guide the conversation towards commonalities. I try not to
| think about how it feels for people who have to paper over
| bigger differences than I do.
| kortilla wrote:
| You would be surprised how little in common you can have
| with your neighbors. You likely don't shop at the same
| places, don't frequent the same restaurants, bars, parks,
| etc.
|
| It's not even politics related, people just don't like the
| same activities. Some people cook, some people eat out,
| some people buy in bulk, some people hit farmers markets.
|
| Easy transportation, internet shopping, etc make it trivial
| to have zero overlap with your neighbor's day to day,
| regardless of city or suburb.
| bigiain wrote:
| > In my experiences of living in suburbs for 30 years, I've
| seen the default is to ignore neighbors.
|
| This rings really true for me.
|
| My last house was in a small gated set of 16 townhouses.
|
| I knew everybody's cat or dog's name, but only on of the
| human's names.
|
| Most people I knew by descriptive tags. There was saxophone
| lady, federal drug cop, potsmoking couple who lived on the
| other side of federal drug cop and who's pot smoke I could
| smell if I opened my back doors, there was ski boat guy,
| Harley riding girl, there was shouty dad and annoying
| child.
|
| I still live nearby, and I passed an older couple from
| there in the street a while back and greeted their dog by
| name, and they said "No, this isn't Oscar, he died a few
| years back, this is (new dog name that I've already
| forgotten)."
| bloomingeek wrote:
| I don't discount anything you have said. But my experience
| is different.
|
| One of my neighbors I lived next to for over thirty years,
| was so nosy, passive aggressive, and judgmental, I avoided
| them like the plague. They finally moved and the new people
| called the city on us because my dog barked for more then
| ten minutes during the daytime, on the second day after
| they moved in! (She was only outside for an hour.) On the
| other side of us is a car on jacks and 'stuff' in the front
| and back yards.
|
| I've learned to keep my head down and not worry about them.
| russellbeattie wrote:
| Every house has a front yard, and many have large front
| porches. And no one uses them. I'd say "anymore" but I've
| rarely seen them used for socializing in my lifetime. They're
| almost vestigial.
|
| I remember one beautiful June Saturday afternoon cutting
| through a gorgeous neighborhood on my bike and amazed it was
| like a ghost town. All the houses with their beautiful yards
| on a quiet street, and literally no one outside. It was so
| weird.
| pkamb wrote:
| Air conditioning and TVs are the answer to this unfortunate
| problem.
| jimbokun wrote:
| Suburbs often have physical constraints with the way houses
| are laid out making this "stoop coffee" approach more
| difficult, if anything. Houses laid out in a way that you're
| more likely to drink your coffee on your back patio
| surrounded by a fence or hedges to avoid being seen. And even
| if you are sitting in front of your house, neighbors are more
| likely to be driving by instead of walking so not very likely
| to stop and chat.
|
| In densely populated cities, you are often in close proximity
| with other humans you haven't met yet. But there can be
| social and cultural norms to keep walking and avoid eye
| contact because social interaction with all the countless
| people you pass is completely impractical.
|
| https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2AoNuz1gjQo
|
| So both environments have their challenges for impromptu
| social interactions.
| tptacek wrote:
| I live in an inner-ring suburb of Chicago (Oak Park) and
| stoop coffee would be much easier to do here than in San
| Francisco (where I lived many years ago).
|
| This is what my suburb looks like:
|
| https://www.google.com/maps/@41.9014246,-87.791197,3a,75y,1
| 7...
| azdle wrote:
| There's no official definition of what the "the suburbs"
| means, but when people say that they usually mean "areas
| that follow a post-war suburban style of development".
| Think culdesacs and no sidewalks. The area you linked
| looks to me more like an older "streetcar suburb", which
| I think most people would just call "the city".
| RHSeeger wrote:
| Nobody I know would call that street the city. In my
| mind, "the city" is, minimally, houses that are a few
| feet apart, small yard in back/front, pretty much nothing
| on the side. Frequently, it's 2-3 story buildings, with
| whole floors rented out as an apartment. That's my "least
| dense" vision of a city. Anything less than that (ie,
| full yards) falls into my vision of suburb.
| tptacek wrote:
| That street is basically identical to most of the city of
| Chicago. The only difference is fewer 2-flats.
|
| https://www.google.com/maps/@41.9301849,-87.7195955,3a,75
| y,3...
| TeaBrain wrote:
| >That street is basically identical to most of the city
| of Chicago. The only difference is fewer 2-flats.
|
| The front yard space and number of driveways in the Oak
| Park link also stuck out to me.
| tptacek wrote:
| This is the Chicago block I grew up on. It's _less_ dense
| than Oak Park. It 's easy find blocks like it elsewhere
| in Chicago. Jeff Park in Chicago and Oak Park are
| basically clones of each other.
|
| https://www.google.com/maps/@41.7099143,-87.6801127,3a,75
| y,1...
|
| This is really what most of Chicago looks like (modulo
| economic conditions in the different neighborhoods ---
| they're not all this upscale). It's a city of
| neighborhoods. Most of the streetscapes that jump to mind
| about Chicago, if you don't live here, are places people
| basically don't live.
| TeaBrain wrote:
| Wow, you weren't kidding about the relative density
| between those areas. I'd consider Oak Park dense compared
| to most suburbs, just not as dense as some neighborhoods
| in Chicago. I'm most familiar with the north side
| neighborhoods and had those kind of lots in mind, with
| their near non-existent front yards, with front steps
| right off the sidewalk, and virtually no front driveways.
|
| https://www.google.com/maps/@41.9405345,-87.6750174,3a,75
| y,2...
| tptacek wrote:
| My old stomping grounds. I lived in Lakeview (incl. this
| block) for a long time.
|
| https://www.google.com/maps/@41.9403868,-87.6590203,3a,75
| y,3...
| namibj wrote:
| To compare, a residential neighborhood a fifth the
| population of oak park, mostly pre-war and what a German
| would consider as "urban":
|
| wiki, use translator:
| https://de.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wichlinghausen-S%C3%BCd
| Maps overview with borders highlighted:
| https://maps.app.goo.gl/fvr34T8JbLEVQLAF8 Street view of
| a normal street there; though I recommend 3D view for a
| better understanding:
| https://maps.app.goo.gl/QXEGChFvHciAq8Va8?g_st=ac
|
| This is btw. 2.9x as dense as Oak Park, IL.
| tptacek wrote:
| Yes, I agree, Oak Park could be a lot denser; that's what
| I'm working on.
| lazyasciiart wrote:
| I agree, but if only you could convince all the NIMBY
| asshats in Seattle who want to live on a half acre lot
| ten minutes from the center of downtown.
| oldandboring wrote:
| Agree. Lots of US cities have neighborhoods like this
| outside of the downtown business districts. Even in NYC,
| famous for concrete-jungle apartment dwelling, you find
| this in Staten Island and in parts of Queens.
| fsckboy wrote:
| we each can only rely on our own experiences, but mine
| don't agree with you. suburbs in the US northeast have
| sidewalks. most of LA looks like a suburb to a
| nor'easter. No sidewalk? rural.
| prisenco wrote:
| Oak Park as "the suburbs" is of a bygone era. If all
| suburbs were like Oak Park, nobody would complain about
| the suburbs.
| tptacek wrote:
| I agree, and outside of Fly.io the thing I work hardest
| on is advocating for more density here; we're slowly
| transforming into Winnetka (if you're not a Chicago
| person, Winnetka is the John Hughes suburb you have in
| your head when people say things like "suburbs are
| nothing like the city"). Thankfully, we have a board
| consensus that has us pointed in the general direction of
| eliminating single-family zoning, allowing as-of-right 3-
| and 4-flats everywhere in the Village.
| hugs wrote:
| hey neighbor :) we should totally do this in oak park.
| oak parkers already kinda do "stoop coffee", but usually
| only twice a year during a pre-planned block party. i
| could see this expanded to something a little more
| frequent, like maybe sunday mornings from memorial day to
| labor day.
| kirtakat wrote:
| I'm amused to see so many of my neighbors on here - we
| could do a Hacker News Stoop at one of the coffee shops
| (Whirlwind is my regular, but it's not like any of the
| ones in OP are hard to get to!)
| tptacek wrote:
| 'dhosek is also an Oak Parker.
|
| My thing since I moved houses a couple years ago is just
| hanging out on the porch, and I'm probably just going to
| start telling people when I'm going to be out there and
| inviting everyone to just come over.
| onlyrealcuzzo wrote:
| Oak Park is not what anyone thinks of as a suburb.
|
| It's like pretending downtown Evanston is a suburb of
| Chicago.
| tptacek wrote:
| Downtown Evanston is a suburb of Chicago.
| avgDev wrote:
| If you haven't tried already, you need to try Sen Sushi,
| if you like sushi. That place is amazing.
| Suppafly wrote:
| I live in a big city in central Illinois, and we have
| neighborhoods like that in the city. It's hard for people
| outside to understand that I have suburban style
| neighborhood but I could walk to the DMV.
| bloomingeek wrote:
| My wife and I, several years ago, stayed in an Oak Park
| hotel while visiting Chicago. There was a sort of food
| festival we happened upon and everyone was extremely
| friendly. As we rode the el train in, we were fascinated
| by the view of the closed Brachs factory.
| mcculley wrote:
| Suburbs can also be hostile to pedestrians. In many
| designs, neighbors only see each other when one or both is
| inside of a car.
| wglb wrote:
| When I lived in Ann Arbor, after going to work with a
| very green sky, I came home to a very weird sound.
|
| Quickly figured out that power was out and the weird
| sound was neighbors sitting on their front stoop talking.
| RHSeeger wrote:
| Where I am in the suburbs, all the dogs know each other,
| because most of them are on invisible fence lots and they
| all visit every other dog when on a walk. And it's common
| for the owner to come out and say hi, too. That being
| said, I know some of my neighbors by their dog's name
| ("That's Taj's dad").
| bluGill wrote:
| Suburbs are not hostile to pedestrians. They are hostile
| to getting anyplace on foot so cars are common. However
| they are great places to walk for exercise and many
| people who live there do that. (see the sibling comment
| about walking the dog)
| eweise wrote:
| Suburbia houses are usually right next to each other.
| Densely populated cities stack housing so you have to go
| down to get out. I've found that its much easier to meeting
| people in single family homes than five level flats. In any
| case, the US even in cities, is not set up for gatherings
| like it is in Europe where there are large spaces people go
| to socialize.
| xattt wrote:
| This is the entire thesis of Jane Jacobs' work: urban
| living works _because of_ friction-by-design.
|
| Inadvertent interactions between people you see every day
| build a sense of community over time -- the "sidewalk
| ballet".
|
| I always wondered what she would have thought about her
| ideas in the context of COVID.
| palijer wrote:
| I think we're a long way off from the communities when
| Jane Jacobs lived. An except that I frequently think
| about, I can't even fathom in a large city in the current
| era, and not because technology has solved the key
| problem.
|
| >Joe Cornacchia, who keeps the delicatessen, usually has
| a dozen or so keys at a time for handing out like this.
| He has a special drawer for them.
|
| >Now why do I, and many others, select Joe as a logical
| custodian for keys? Because we trust him, first, to be a
| respon sible custodian, but equally important because we
| know that he combines a feeling of good will with a
| feeling of no personal responsibility about our private
| affairs. Joe considers it no con cern of his whom we
| choose to permit in our places and why. Around on the
| other side of our block, people leave their keys at a
| Spanish grocery. On the other side of Joe's block, people
| leave them at the candy store. Down a block they leave
| them at the coffee shop, and a few hundred feet around
| the corner from that, in a barber shop. Around one corner
| from two fashionable blocks of town houses and apartments
| in the Upper East Side, people leave their keys in a
| butcher shop and a bookshop; around another corner they
| leave them in a cleaner's and a drug store.
|
| >In unfashionable East Harlem keys are left with at least
| one florist, in bakeries, in luncheonettes, in Spanish
| and Italian groceries.
| wetmore wrote:
| This still happens in my experience, I've picked up keys
| from friends and Airbnb hosts via a local business in the
| past few years.
| kortilla wrote:
| But there is usually a code with some app and all of the
| social aspects have been removed. It's not much different
| than being a higher scale realtor key box.
| Suppafly wrote:
| >This still happens in my experience, I've picked up keys
| from friends and Airbnb hosts via a local business in the
| past few years.
|
| Seems strange to me, I've never done anything of the sort
| and wouldn't consider it. The closest is maybe leaving
| things at school for another parent to pickup because
| they left them with my kid.
| l72 wrote:
| Same. Stayed at an Airbnb in Copenhagen and we picked up
| and dropped off keys from the pizza shop across the
| street.
|
| And over the course of our 6 week stay, we definitely ate
| at that pizza shop a few times!
| jll29 wrote:
| San Francisco is a great city for that, because it is very
| walkable (if you have the energy to manage its steep
| hills).
|
| There is a close connection between urban architecture and
| whether or not community building can take place, and
| sadly, many places are not like it.
|
| Kunstler's TED talk is a fantastic way to become more aware
| of that topic: https://www.ted.com/talks/james_howard_kunst
| ler_the_ghastly_...
|
| His thesis is some of the US must be torn down to rebuild
| it in a friendlier community-enabling way.
|
| Curiously, to the OP's "stoop coffee" topic, he already
| recognized the communicative potential/value of the space
| in front of houses, and he points out that old European
| cities "got that right" (and having a central market
| square, too).
| lolinder wrote:
| > Suburbs often have physical constraints with the way
| houses are laid out making this "stoop coffee" approach
| more difficult, if anything. Houses laid out in a way that
| you're more likely to drink your coffee on your back patio
| surrounded by a fence or hedges to avoid being seen.
|
| This has not been my experience in the surburbs. A typical
| suburban home has both spaces: a front yard/patio and a
| back yard/patio. If anything the physical constraints are
| substantially _more_ conducive to hanging out out front
| than what I 'm seeing in these photos here--people in the
| suburbs have some amount of space that they actually own in
| front of their home, they don't have to occupy the
| sidewalk.
|
| As OP said, which one people choose to use depends on the
| personality of the individual, not the layout of the space.
| For example: our last four homes, like every home in each
| neighborhood, have had both, and I always prefer to be out
| back while my wife loves being out front interacting with
| the neighbors as they walk by (which, yes, they have
| regularly done in all four neighborhoods!).
| codingmoney wrote:
| I agree with your points about the challenges in both
| suburban and urban environments. I think the design of
| public spaces also plays a significant role. Intentional
| design can help overcome some of these challenges and
| foster more impromptu social interactions.
| Suppafly wrote:
| >Suburbs often have physical constraints with the way
| houses are laid out making this "stoop coffee" approach
| more difficult, if anything.
|
| Sure, but they are a lot more setup for walking dogs and
| casual walks and bike rides with your family and friends.
| The version of stoop coffee in my neighborhood is people
| walking their dogs and then stopping to chat. That and
| leaning on their fence talking to their neighbors.
| screye wrote:
| Many Americans still think of cities as modernist concrete,
| interstate exits and parking lots. In this imagination,
| social trust is eroded by homelessness, drug addicts and
| variety of crimes endemic to inner cities. Unfortunately,
| cities that were razed for cars fit some of these
| stereotypes.
|
| In fact, parts of SF match the description too. This story
| would have unfolded differently in SOMA. Even in safe
| neighborhoods, (eg: Mission Bay, Rincon Hill) large towers, 5
| lane roads and 35+ mph thru-traffic discourage neighborhood
| vibes.
|
| > has some truth to it in both cases, but amounts to
| uncalled-for negativity
|
| I disagree. This isn't a case of 'both sides'.
|
| Cars destroyed American cities. Then Americans moved to gated
| suburbs that did everything in their power to limit through
| traffic and therefore the destructive onslaught of cars.
| Suburban residents demand easy access to the city by car, but
| reject the car in their own neighborhood. Suburbs want to
| have their cake and eat it too, at the expense of city
| residents. In contrast, cities do not impose their wants or
| needs onto suburbs. The resentment by city dwellers towards
| suburbanites is justified.
|
| Fortunately some cities escaped razing. Boston, NYC, DC & SF
| have many neighborhoods that enable wonderful stories such as
| this.
| enaaem wrote:
| The thing is that whether you click with your neighbours or
| not is pure luck and it's no one's fault. That's why you read
| many opposing anecdotes in this thread. When there are more
| local third places, there is a higher chance you will find a
| nice community to hang out with.
| more_corn wrote:
| Pro tip. Being a good neighbor helps you click with your
| neighbors, and that can be the difference between life and
| death in an emergency, or your house burning down or not if
| a neighbor catches something and calls you because you're
| chill, friendly and helpful.
|
| It is worth extreme efforts to cultivate good relationships
| with your neighbors.
| PaulDavisThe1st wrote:
| Very much so.
|
| For a very different example, I live in a small village of
| about 250 people in rural New Mexico. Of the 250, there are
| between 50 and 75 people who are sociable and interested in
| forming, maintaining and enjoying community. Of the remaining
| 200 or so, about 1/3 of them are friendly and social, but
| generally do not want to participate in community activities.
| The remaining 2/3 live here because it offers them (amongst
| other things) a chance for privacy.
| PaulDavisThe1st wrote:
| I should have said that about 50 of them live here because
| their families have been here since the early 1600s, too.
| jaredklewis wrote:
| Yes, but the geographic scale of suburbs just puts limits on
| this type of thing.
|
| "Everyone with a five minute walking me" is a very different
| number of people in Brooklyn vs the suburbs. Let's say 50 vs
| 500?
|
| I think it's way easier to end up on an anti-social block
| than in a city, where the law of large numbers draws blocks
| toward the average.
| bluGill wrote:
| You only have room for a few hundred friends in your life.
| Sure there might be 500 people who live in 5 minutes walk -
| but that is too many and so you will learn to take steps to
| limit the number of people who will accept an open invite.
|
| If you are a Hindu living in a small US city you will find
| and becomes friends with every other Hindu in the city -
| there are not very many and you stick together. If you move
| to a slightly larger small city you will discover that
| there are too many Hindus and it is hard to make friends
| with them because their friend groups are already full.
| (This is a real example from someone I work with, names and
| exact cities not given for obvious reasons)
| jaredklewis wrote:
| I guess my comment wasn't clear, but I'm saying if on
| average half the people are not social, then in a city
| that leaves 250, which as you point out is plenty. In a
| suburb, because the total population of a block is
| smaller, the variance in the percentage of anti-social
| people is going to be much higher, even if averaged
| across all blocks you still get 50% (or whatever the
| population average is). If the number drops to 20, for
| example, my experience is this is less likely to form
| into a "community." Twenty is a lot of people but you
| need more because any given person isn't available much
| of the time.
|
| This matches my own experience of living in the suburbs
| where some streets are way more interconnected than
| others.
|
| To be clear I'm not claiming this is rigorous social
| science. Just sharing my intuitions based on experience.
| throwaway894345 wrote:
| I don't think it's "just" a stereotype. There's a lot of
| literature around how American suburbs are designed to be
| isolationist. The most obvious example is how much more
| difficult it is to meet your neighbors when you have to get
| into your car for every slight errand (FWIW, I've lived in
| all densities--I'm not some urban chauvinist).
| celticninja wrote:
| yup, they probably mean small town/village life as opposed to
| suburbs, which is what this community has come to resemble,
| which is what they wanted so a great success, even if the
| terminology was off.
| potato3732842 wrote:
| As usual, the people you fill the space with make all the
| difference. The stereotype gets reinforced by the kind of
| suburbs HN people tend to live in and to have been raised in.
|
| Wealthy white collar suburbs almost universally suck because
| people don't really miss out on much by not interacting with
| each other and people have no real problems so they tend to
| make each other their problems and not like what their
| neighbors do.
|
| You go down the economic ladder and things get a lot better
| because people have enough real problems they don't give a shit
| about whether their other neighbor pulled permits or what the
| setbacks are or how long their project car/boat has sat on
| blocks, and they interact with each other because being friends
| with your neighbors well enough to share tools and trade favors
| is worth it.
| happytoexplain wrote:
| Another bitter stereotype contributing to the US cultural
| divide. I live in an economically diverse but mostly well-off
| white collar suburb (not in CA), and we have a strong sense
| of community. We walk to each other's houses on a whim, we
| help each other get things done, we shovel the snow for the
| older folks, we watch out for each other and text each other,
| we organize community get-togethers. I realize this is an
| anecdote - I am _not_ saying the correlation you 're
| describing isn't statistically real, just that it's
| pointlessly negative.
| Baeocystin wrote:
| FWIW, this has been my experience as well. When I lived in
| poor neighborhoods, yeah, we had more property crime. We also
| had a tremendous sense of community; I knew everyone, they
| knew me, food & favors were traded happily. The block parties
| we had during the summer were tremendous amounts of fun.
|
| Meanwhile, the more wealthy neighborhoods are full of
| busybodies sniffing around for the slightest HOA infraction,
| and high-anxiety individuals reflecting and amplifying each
| other's tensions. Each home is a fortress unto itself. I feel
| pretty lucky to be in the middle, where we don't have as much
| crime as the poorer areas, but we still know one another, and
| still trade food on the holidays.
| mitthrowaway2 wrote:
| Yes, my experience in the suburbs is that most residents hop in
| their cars and take off somewhere with their tinted windows
| rolled up, and there are no "third places" around to casually
| encounter your neighbours. Sometimes there will be yard sales,
| BBQs, or birthday parties though.
|
| But my experience in an urban apartment building is not very
| different. You might encounter someone in the elevator but it's
| polite to keep quiet. A lot of dense townhouse neighbourhoods
| are built without any corner stores, cafes, or bakeries mixed
| in at the ground floor.
|
| I like that this family found a way to make do without any
| third place at all, just occupying the sidewalk and roadside.
| But I'm sure it would be a lot more comfortable if they had at
| least a shady patch of grass!
| lolinder wrote:
| > I like that this family found a way to make do without any
| third place at all, just occupying the sidewalk and roadside.
| But I'm sure it would be a lot more comfortable if they had
| at least a shady patch of grass!
|
| Exactly. This is a story about intentionality, which is
| required regardless of whether you're living in the suburb or
| the city. In the US, neither culture prioritizes spontaneous
| interaction by default, they're only different in the manner
| in which the isolation manifests.
| shortrounddev2 wrote:
| > This genuinely threw me because in my experience the suburbs
| are the antithesis of this, just lots of people occupying
| neighboring space and rarely talking to each other.
|
| I've found the opposite. My neighbors and I (apartment, in the
| city) rarely speak to each other in the city, but when I lived
| in the suburbs I knew LOTS of my neighbors
| UncleOxidant wrote:
| I came here to say the same. Sense of community in the suburbs?
| That has not been my experience and tends to be one of the main
| complaints about the suburbs.
| nbaugh1 wrote:
| Lol exactly. I 100% cannot imagine this happening where my
| parents live, in a typical US suburban subdivision. On the flip
| side, I can absolutely see something like this taking off on my
| block in Brooklyn and would just be another addition to the
| already established community
| scubbo wrote:
| 100% same here!
| tptacek wrote:
| It depends on the suburb. Some suburbs are effectively just
| city neighborhoods in a different school district, and they
| have blocks and block parties. Other suburbs are nests of culs-
| de-sac, where you'll say "hi" to your next door neighbors but
| not know anybody else.
| nunez wrote:
| We had block parties like this in Brooklyn while I was growing
| up. People would make or buy food and we'd just occupy half of
| the block with loud music, running around for the kids and
| drinking for the adults. Cars could still pass by, but they
| were careful and people would move out of the way. It was fun!
| bilbo0s wrote:
| Pretty sure in Brooklyn, and other NYC boroughs, that is more
| of a cultural thing rather than a "try to create a sense of
| neighborliness" thing.
|
| As a cultural thing, that type of community behavior has
| likely been going on for most of the past century in NYC.
|
| But the person in the article tries to create that in a place
| where there is no cultural proclivity to that kind of
| behavior. That's actually a far more difficult thing to do.
|
| Still, it is awesome to have it just as a cultural practice.
| No question.
| nunez wrote:
| Definitely not knocking stoop coffee. Super cool that they
| built that from scratch.
| shanemhansen wrote:
| I used to live in a suburb. I met people the same way you meet
| people anywhere: common interests.
|
| A dozen or so people with dogs met at the park every day. We
| knew each other, watched each other's houses/pets on vacation,
| and sometimes did dinner or BBQs.
|
| A few people organized a DnD group after advertising on
| nextdoor (which is a cesspool but only 70%).
|
| Of course those with kids the same age often knew each other
| because of school or activities.
|
| The neighborhood park had a system of "pea patches" where you
| could grow some stuff next to your neighbors.
|
| There's nothing that unique all in all about this space other
| than there was a "third place" we all had built and took care
| of (the park was originally supposed to be a school that never
| got built so the community got it to become a park but at least
| half the work came from the community. The county provided some
| matching work).
|
| The weird thing is people are people no matter where they are,
| mostly. And if you are lonely, you can go fix it.
|
| Lots of people move from somewhere they hate so somewhere they
| think will solve all their problems. And they are right. Or
| they move from somewhere they love to somewhere that they know
| will be terrible. And they are right. It seems like whether you
| think your neighborhood is great or terrible, you're not right.
| ryandrake wrote:
| My suburban neighborhood is great. They have a voluntary
| group that you can join with a donation, and all that group
| really does is organize parties and events. It's not a HOA
| and doesn't have rules. We have a full community get-together
| event every two months or so, with volunteers who host at
| their houses. We also have once-a-year events like a
| community-wide garage sale event, and a car show.
|
| I've also lived in neighborhoods where nobody knew each
| other. I think all we can get out of this HN thread is: "Not
| all suburban neighborhoods are the same."
| llm_nerd wrote:
| Is that your lived _experience_ of the suburbs, or just what
| you 've been led to believe on online forums filled with both
| a) city dwellers, b) angsty teens?
|
| As someone who lives in the suburbs it threw me because it's so
| rare for anyone to acknowledge any positive of the suburbs. The
| suburbs are always some lifeless dystopia where we all drink
| away our days and wish we could visit the bodega and get a
| fresh baguette or something.
|
| Here in suburbia in an exurb, everyone knows each other. We
| have regular street parties. All of the kids play games
| together frequently.
| Baeocystin wrote:
| My suburban neighborhood here in the bay area is mostly cul-
| de-sacs, and on the 4th of July about half of them close off
| the entrance to non-residents/family, and have a collective
| BBQ in the middle of the circle. Several of our neighbors are
| musicians, so we get live music from people we know, and we
| all know how to cook up good stuff for the party. It's
| genuinely a lot of fun, and I look forward to it every year.
| jrnichols wrote:
| I see a fair amount of that here in Sacramento. People
| having block parties, chairs out in the driveways, etc. One
| of the newer neighborhoods in the area seems like it was
| designed with this in mine as well. '
|
| It's been a lot of fun. We know our neighbors, people are
| frequently out walking, talking to each other, and so on.
| eweise wrote:
| I live in suburbia and one of the neighbors periodically hosts
| coffee and pastries in their front yard. I also do happy hour
| at different houses. I never got this community feel living in
| SF for 10 years.
| dismalaf wrote:
| Dunno, I've found suburbs more friendly than the city.
| Someone's more likely to say hi when you're grilling, mowing
| your lawn or just walking around.
|
| Urban settings have more 3rd spaces which can be good places to
| socialise, but your immediate neighbours are less likely to
| speak with you in my experience.
|
| And having a toddler amplifies the experience since most
| families move to the suburbs when they have kids, urban spaces
| are far more likely to have young people without families.
| mlhpdx wrote:
| Just not so.
|
| My neighborhood has a tradition of summer "wine walks" even
| though homes are widely spaced. It's not about place, it's
| about attitude.
| mclau156 wrote:
| Would still benefit from eventually moving the initial meetup
| group to a green space, especially if there can be a community
| garden to work on (yes I realize we are re-inventing the wheel
| of a village)
| pchristensen wrote:
| Suburbs are typically more socially homogenous, with more
| institutional connections between residents (kids go to the
| same school, people work for the same local employer, same
| church, etc) with a physical environment less conducive to
| connectivity. City neighborhoods (again, typically) have better
| physical presence with neighbors that are less likely to have
| things in common. I think that's what the author is trying to
| say.
| mmooss wrote:
| > more socially homogenous
|
| An old rationalization of prejudice. Everyone seems
| homogenous to me and what was heterogeneous yesterday (e.g.,
| Italians and Irish) is homogenous today. Just stop worrying
| about it. People with different backgrounds are much more
| interesting, all else being equal. All are Homo sapiens.
|
| Also, kids in city neighborhoods also go to the same schools.
| In suburbs I've seen people don't generally share an employer
| and church - that's a small town.
|
| It depends on the definition of suburb (some are pretty
| urban), but my experience in cul-de-sacs is neighbors rarely
| interact. Lots of places don't even have sidewalks.
| acchow wrote:
| The running joke is that nobody in NYC knows their neighbors.
|
| In a sense, you no longer need to since you now have thousands
| of people within about a dozen-suburban-house's distance away.
| anonu wrote:
| > in my experience the suburbs are the antithesis of this
|
| I think you had a bad experience. The center of activity isn't
| the street in the suburbs - its schools, churches, events,
| etc...
| alistairSH wrote:
| I believe it's both/and.
|
| Cities are that too dense (Manhattan) don't have the space to
| do "stoop coffee" or equivalent. Everybody is in a tall
| apartment.
|
| The cookie-cutter suburb is too spread out and too car-
| dependent. You could have "stoop coffee" but your neighbors are
| in their cars, so don't stop to talk.
|
| An older bedroom community, or smaller city with single family
| dwellings (row homes or tightly-packed detached) hits the
| balance - enough people on foot, enough space to spread out and
| not block the sidewalk.
| kasey_junk wrote:
| I live in Chicago, in a denser part, and we have all the
| things you mention.
|
| I think this idea that a "city" is like Manhattan just
| doesn't hold up in the US. Manhattan is approaching unique
| here and there are places in Manhattan that could be
| described by your ideal.
| bilsbie wrote:
| Community is as community does.
| kbenson wrote:
| I've lived in suburbs where I had a good idea of who lived in
| each house, talked to some of them semi-regularly, and kids ran
| around the neighborhood together every day, and I've lived in
| neighborhoods where everyone stays inside and nobody interacts
| with each other and even the few group things explicity set up
| (neighborhood street potluck, chili cookoff at the attached
| park) couldn't be sustained. I moved directly from the former
| to the latter, so the difference was stark.
|
| I think it has much more to do with demographics and type of
| people that happen to be living there, and whether there's an
| existing community. The more lively neighborhood in my case was
| in a "worse" neighborhood with cheaper houses, while the new
| neighborhood was all newly build housing. We were all starting
| from scratch with each other, with some people maybe having a
| year or so more history than others (as they staged builds 5-10
| houses at a time). Community is a frail thing, and needs to be
| tended or it will wither, and sometimes it dies before it even
| has a chance to flourish.
| askvictor wrote:
| Where I currently live, in a medium-density area of town-houses
| (actually, pretty high-density for town-houses), seems to be
| the perfect density for community. I see my neighbours all of
| the time, just doing our things, and you say hi and chat
| because that's what humans do. Any more dense and you have
| apartments, where strangely people are more distant (even
| though closer) (unless effort has gone into the apartment
| design to get people interacting), less dense and you have a
| suburbia with its fortresses.
| mgfist wrote:
| I think it's a classic "grass is greener" story. If they
| haven't lived in the suburbs, they might think it's got
| elements it doesn't actually have.
| caycep wrote:
| my cynical take on this is that the suburban gentrifiers appear
| to have replicated behaviors of the people they displaced....
|
| It's not like communal behaviors or venues in
| SF/Oakland/Berkeley did not exist prior to 2025...
| brailsafe wrote:
| [delayed]
| hombre_fatal wrote:
| What a shame to fit all those people in a space that could have
| been better left for one person to park their SUV. /s
| tinyoli wrote:
| Ah nice, you've invented southern Europe!
|
| Seriously though, great concept and keep it going :)
| barrenko wrote:
| Was just about to write.
|
| My 69-year old neighbour just knocks on my door at random
| interval and asks if I want a coffee.
|
| * I had an 80 year old neighbour as well, but she got sick and
| moved in with her daughter.
| barbazoo wrote:
| > My 69-year old neighbour just knocks on my door at random
| interval and asks if I want a coffee.
|
| That is a dream of mine that I have yet to make happen.
| stronglikedan wrote:
| Don't let your dreams be dreams! Go knock on _their_ door
| and ask _them_ if they want a coffee.
| bfors wrote:
| In my situation they would probably not respond, and then
| submit a complaint through the HOA
| volkk wrote:
| i think there's a really valuable app/site to be made that
| involves discovering people or handling communications literally
| on your block (i.e hyper local neighborhood). nextdoor is the 1.0
| of this that introduced the concept but poorly, and i'm still
| waiting for a 2.0
|
| i guess it doesn't have to be an app, since whatsapp can handle
| most of this, but there's a discovery piece that would be missing
| that this app can somehow handle.
| neogodless wrote:
| Insert joke that every app eventually evolves into an email (or
| chat) client?
|
| More seriously, what differentiates your idea (or hope of
| execution) from NextDoor, and how would the app improve upon
| WhatsApp or other messaging clients that might already be
| ubiquitous? (I'm in the U.S. and sadly WhatsApp is not even
| close to Ubiquitous - but SMS/MMS is.)
|
| Overall how would having to install an app, create an account,
| sign up, find contacts, etc. improve upon the connections the
| original article formed through in person meetings in shared
| space, and the communications they did with an existing
| communications app?
| kwertyoowiyop wrote:
| These days, replace "email client" with "social network."
| alabastervlog wrote:
| Social networks could just be email clients. They're not,
| because those are hard to put a moat around.
| timerol wrote:
| I could not disagree more strongly. I would be appalled at
| using an app for something better accomplished by a flyer or
| drinking coffee in front of my house. People live in physical
| space. "How do I talk to my next-door neighbor?" is not a
| problem that the internet should be helping with
| allenu wrote:
| I agree with you. I like that they mentioned people came by
| to their larger event by way of the paper invitation. There's
| something about a paper invitation that signals
| thoughtfulness and care. You have to print out these things
| and actually go walk door to door to drop them off. It's not
| a huge amount of work, but way more than just tapping a
| button.
|
| I actually have gotten paper invitations from a neighbor on
| my street for a holiday party at their house and ended up
| going without having met them before just because it felt
| good to see it on my door step. Somebody actually took the
| time (actually, it was their kids) to drop it off.
| BobaFloutist wrote:
| Sure, if you have a house.
|
| I live in a neighborhood of apartment buildings. I'm always
| wishing I had a dog (I have cats so it's not an option) or
| that there was a small neighborhood park to use as a common
| space. It's hard to get a sense of and connect with people on
| different floors, or the other end of the hallway, let alone
| next-door neighbors, just because it's harder to see the same
| people repeatedly.
| cycomanic wrote:
| I think the point of the article is that you can make this
| happen even without an app. And I believe the previous
| poster is trying to make the point that an app will create
| an low effort impersonal engagement that brings out the
| worst in people (essentially all these apps will end up as
| nextdoor). Why not invite the next neighbour you meet for a
| coffee, or do what the guys in the article have been doing
| and take a camping chair and sit in front of the building
| with a coffee on Saturday morning?
| cycomanic wrote:
| I think the point of the article is that you can do this
| without an app and the previous posters point is that app
| encourage low effort impersonal interactions instead of the
| personal community you want. So every app just quickly
| desolves into another nextdoor. Why don't you try asking
| the next neighbour you see to have a coffee, or do the same
| as the people in the article and take a camping chair and a
| coffee one Saturday morning and sit in front of your
| building?
| James_K wrote:
| I wouldn't be so quick to admonish the idea. Neighbours
| aren't always within talking distance. Even the writers of
| this article needed to create a WhatApp group, and you can
| already see the trouble in that. People want to receive
| messages about things in their neighbourhood, but groups
| chats cover fixed areas so some people might be on the "edge"
| of multiple groups. The logical solution here is a digital
| version of the old church notice boards you see in many
| towns, allowing people to place and view digital flyers in a
| certain range of their location.
| scubbo wrote:
| From the article itself:
|
| > After a while, we realized it was starting to become
| unwieldy texting everyone when we were going to be outside.
| Thus, the WhatsApp group was born.
|
| Tech itself is not _inherently_ dehumanizing or isolating -
| only when it is used to _replace_ human interaction. When
| used to enable those high-quality social interactions, it is
| virtuous.
| cg5280 wrote:
| Vermont has something sort of like this called Front Porch
| Forum. It's something I would like to see tried elsewhere.
| tyhoff wrote:
| The most important part, no matter if it's email, Nextdoor,
| WhatsApp, is that we can use it to disperse information
| quickly, and then get off the platform and meet up in person.
| Our stoop coffees are broadcasted via WhatsApp, and then some
| people tell their immediate neighbors via text, and then people
| show up.
| JoshTriplett wrote:
| I'm glad to hear a story of someone constructing a community they
| enjoy. And this approach does have the virtue of drawing in the
| kinds of people who are enthusiastically interested, rather than
| those who aren't.
|
| In general, I and most people I know have largely found more fun
| and more sense of community in groups whose membership arises
| from intentional joining through some common interest, rather
| than groups whose membership arises from happenstance. Or, in
| short: you choose your friends, but you don't choose your
| neighbors.
| renewiltord wrote:
| Amusingly, we live in a high-rise in SF and it's like what people
| talk about neighbourhood living. We have a Whatsapp group and
| people meet for ethnic festivals, borrow an egg, or sugar, or
| flour, or a jump start kit, or an iron. It's honestly quite nice.
|
| It helps that you self-select for the audience by who can afford
| the building, just like they've done the same with their
| neighbourhood.
| skyyler wrote:
| >It helps that you self-select for the audience by who can
| afford the building, just like they've done the same with their
| neighbourhood.
|
| Heavens forbid we have to break bread with one of the _poors_.
|
| Did you mean to imply that you only prefer to associate with
| people that have around as much money as you?
| timewizard wrote:
| I believe you missed the OPs point. I believe he's suggesting
| that this couple has it on "easy mode" because of the
| affluence of the area they already live in. If they tried
| this same technique in a more working class neighborhood they
| would likely have a harder time creating and maintaining this
| group.
| apocadam wrote:
| If anything I would say it's the opposite - individuals in
| less affluent communities are more likely to need the help
| of their neighbors, and thus interact and form
| relationships
| skyyler wrote:
| Correct! I've never been to a crab boil in an affluent
| neighborhood.
|
| But boy howdy have I been to a lot of them in working
| class areas.
| skyyler wrote:
| >I believe he's suggesting that this couple has it on "easy
| mode" because of the affluence of the area they already
| live in.
|
| That's actually even worse than I thought.
|
| Working class neighborhoods already have stuff like this
| happening. Cookouts and block parties are pretty common!
| I'm not sure why it would be more difficult if the people
| were poor.
| NaOH wrote:
| _> Please respond to the strongest plausible interpretation
| of what someone says, not a weaker one that's easier to
| criticize. Assume good faith._
|
| https://news.ycombinator.com/newsguidelines.html
| skyyler wrote:
| What do you think would be a stronger interpretation of
| that?
| josefritzishere wrote:
| This used to be completely normal. It was caled being neighborly.
| stronglikedan wrote:
| Still normal in a lot of places that are not big cities.
| bilbo0s wrote:
| I live in Wisconsin. Let me tell you, it's not so normal
| here.
|
| I understand there's a lot going on with poverty, and opioid
| epidemics, and other menaces out here in flyover country. But
| man, it'd be nice if we could all at least make an attempt at
| being more neighborly.
|
| Just think it's not a big city - small city thing anymore. I
| think there has been a collapse of neighborliness across
| society in the US. Vast majority of Americans live in
| neighborhoods without a 2 block stoop coffee event.
| elric wrote:
| I grew up in a small village in the arse end of nowhere, in the
| 80s/90s. Even there and then it was a rarity for people to
| engage with their neighbours, beyond saying hello. Being the
| precocious child that I was, I invited myself to their homes
| for snacks. But I was alone in that. In some (many?) places,
| people just want to be left alone.
|
| You don't choose your neighbours, much like you don't choose
| your family. Sometimes you luck out, and sometimes you're
| fucked.
| jcdavis wrote:
| I saw this and did a double-take - I live in the neighborhood and
| am fortunate enough to be a part of this community. Patty, Tyler,
| and Luke have done a tremendous job of creating a communal bond
| that makes everyone feel valued & welcome.
|
| I now know 50+ people who live within ~2 blocks from me, who've
| gone from "random strangers" to "friendly neighbors" that I run
| into semi-randomly.
| archagon wrote:
| Just curious, what neighborhood is this?
| brian-armstrong wrote:
| From the pictures it looks like it could be NoPa
| jcdavis wrote:
| Its roughly a 2x2 block area of The Mission (not a hard
| boundary to participating, but almost everyone lives in it).
| I won't get more specific than that in case the author
| doesn't feel comfortable since it wasn't mentioned in her
| post.
| fsargent wrote:
| It's Mission Dolores
| benatkin wrote:
| A lot of the people participating probably had some cliche
| in mind like Burning Man or Bay to Breakers that takes away
| from the authenticity of it.
|
| They could have started having a group meeting up at
| Dolores Park. It would have just been one of many.
|
| These are nice though.
| non- wrote:
| When people say "you can just do things" this is what they mean.
| Fun article, I hope everyone reading this who wishes they had
| something like it in their neighborhood starts this weekend by
| inviting their nearest friend for coffee on the stoop.
| dfltr wrote:
| These people are anarchists! No really, they are. The stoop
| coffee to "It takes the hood to save the hood" pipeline is
| real.
| ramkarthikk wrote:
| This is such a wholesome post. It also shows how much agency we
| can have in our local community. It reminded me of the Derek
| Sivers story[0] about the dancing man and the first follower when
| I read the part about the first person (Luke) joining them.
|
| [0] - https://sive.rs/ff
| chrisweekly wrote:
| Yes! Awesome Sivers post.
| pkamb wrote:
| Now, even better, allow any neighbor to open a legitimate (yet
| small-scale and cheap) coffee shop or wine bar by-right in the
| garage space under their SF home.
| tinyplanets wrote:
| I assume your being facetious?
| bilbo0s wrote:
| I hope this commenter is being facetious.
|
| How do you read that post and have the first thing in your
| head be, "Hmm? How can I monetize this?"
| pkamb wrote:
| It's not about monetizing friendship, it's about providing
| comfortable places where events like this can happen all
| over the city/country. People want this community but it
| kinda sucks to do (and mostly won't happen) if you're
| meeting up monthly on chairs in a city street. If small
| neighborhood pubs and coffee shops were legal to build...
| ketzo wrote:
| If you think "garage coffeeshop" is a fast track to wealth,
| boy do I have news!
| ctkhn wrote:
| Am I not going to make it in the next YC class with that
| pitch? Guess it's time to start from square 1
| blitzar wrote:
| Coffee, reimagined with Ai crypto. Cryoffii.
| pkamb wrote:
| No? Small businesses like that are what make cities great.
| awongh wrote:
| Yea, one of the problems of USA zoning laws is that very small
| scale retail/food service businesses are not allowed in the
| middle of a block. In other more walkable/urban density places
| businesses will pop up where you can get a coffee and it's not
| on a "business street". It's where people actually live and
| gather.
| Duhck wrote:
| This is so endearing. I've been at odds with my HOA [board] since
| I moved in and its a decades long tale of my community where
| everyone is treated poorly by our HOA.
|
| I've asked the board for block parties annually, and events semi
| annually and theyve rejected it over and over again. Meanwhile I
| miss this type of community that I had in every building I lived
| in around NYC before moving to the mountains
| floren wrote:
| If everyone is treated poorly by the HOA, you should be able to
| get them together and dissolve the HOA. Read the documents,
| there should be a procedure for dissolution.
| Kirby64 wrote:
| Depending on the location, the way to dissolve an HOA is
| nearly impossible. You need to find out what to do with
| community assets (in a condo situation, this is not
| possible), and you also usually need somewhere between
| 75-100% of all members voting 'yes' (not just present
| voting). If it's 100% of all members, just a single
| uncooperative board member could prevent dissolution.
| polalavik wrote:
| Are you an owner? the hoa is not the board - it's the entirety
| of the home owners who can vote and amend any rules at any time
| with enough momentum and support.
| Duhck wrote:
| Yea totally. I am an owner and I've been fighting with the
| board for 3 years over failure to hold elections, and
| inconsistent treatment of members / rules.
|
| I have a lawyer, have won my first battle already but it cost
| me $6k out of pocket (and the HOA $25k) for something that
| should have never happened.
|
| Next step is to expose the board and get people to turn out
| to vote, sadly there are unelected members on the board since
| 1995, and not enough turn out for a quorum so I am a bit
| hamstrung
| ahstilde wrote:
| You can just do things
| S33V wrote:
| i've walked past y'all on many occasions and thought how cool it
| was! I had no idea there was such a large group of you :) I'll
| have to swing by and say hi sometime
| James_K wrote:
| I can't help but feel we've failed as a society, that we seem to
| focus more on money than things like this. So much misery in the
| world.
| austinl wrote:
| During COVID, the block I live on in San Francisco started doing
| outdoor happy hours every Saturday afternoon. People weren't
| traveling much then, so we had near 100% attendance of every
| person on the block for almost a year. I went from knowing none
| of my neighbors to knowing all of them quite well, and it has
| surprised me how much it has improved my day-to-day happiness.
|
| Since then, we've hosted a "progressive" Thanksgiving dinner,
| which moves from house-to-house on the block for different
| courses. We shut down the street one day each year and set up
| bounce houses for the kids. I've made pint glasses with the name
| our street engraved in them, and given them to my neighbors. It's
| shown me that there really can be something valuable outside of
| your immediate family and circle of friends.
| iancmceachern wrote:
| They do this at UCSF in mission Bay too, such a great idea
| tptacek wrote:
| This rules. I want to do it, but I know I can't personally,
| because I'm not awake at the hour people normally want coffee.
| Maybe I can figure out stoop whiskey.
|
| Another thing that works for meeting and talking to your
| neighbors, and has the benefit of attaching you to people who
| live blocks away from you and not just the people you see getting
| into the car every morning, is local politics. I've met more
| people being engaged in local politics than I have through any
| other activity, including work.
|
| My guess is that civic engagement across the United States works
| pretty much the way it does where I live in Chicagoland, which is
| that somewhere there is a message board, Facebook group, or
| mailing list, and you get engaged by joining it, getting the
| vibe, and then participating in the discussion --- it's very much
| (alarmingly much) like getting comfortable on Hacker News. Except
| you do it well and you can change laws.
| Tiktaalik wrote:
| Your neighbours are likely absolutely game for stoop whisky.
|
| My neighbours do this from time time, a tradition started
| during the pandemic.
|
| Use some cones to block off a parking spot. Set up some chairs
| and a table. Hang out and have some drinks in the evening and
| catch up on the neighbourhood gossip.
| geverett wrote:
| You 100% can do stoop whiskey! Or simply hanging outside with
| whatever beverage. My block in Brooklyn has a lot more stoop
| whiskey than coffee but also has a really strong neighborhood
| feel (and whatsapp chat). I feel lucky to have moved into an
| already vibrant community but also believe anyone can create
| this anywhere.
| ojagodzinski wrote:
| In countries where people are free (almost everywhere except the
| USA) you can simply open a coffee shop in a "residential
| district". You have these ridiculous zoning laws so at most you
| can drive to a Starbucks.
| drstewart wrote:
| Funny, in countries where people are free (everywhere except
| your city in Poland) you can use an electric leaf blower to
| clear your stoop of leaves so neighbors can sit with their
| coffee.
| czhu12 wrote:
| Really heart warming story. My 2 cents:
|
| The group is at a critical point now, having ~100 Whatsapp
| members. From what I've seen this creates a chilling effect where
| you inevitably end up with cliques and social cooling.
|
| No new members will feel like they can actually send a message
| into a 100+ person group, while the old guard starts to use it as
| a notification board, rather than a real chat.
|
| Eventually, newer members will feel too far behind the current
| discussions, and too socially exhausting to show up to meetups.
| I've seen these eventually get to 400+ members, many of whom
| don't live in the city anymore.
|
| The best group I've ever been part of had a simple rule that
| worked amazingly: If you don't show up to an event at least once
| a month, you were removed from the whatsapp group. It keeps the
| group small, and comfortable, and it never felt intrusive to send
| a quick "Whats everyone up to today?" into the group chat.
| soulofmischief wrote:
| This seems unnecessarily harsh toward people who like to
| travel.
| doomroot wrote:
| I doubt you'd have much of an issue rejoining the group.
| czhu12 wrote:
| Yeah should've mentioned that, super easy to rejoin, just
| trying to prevent bloat
| austhrow743 wrote:
| >while the old guard starts to use it as a notification board
|
| It sounded to me like that's been the intention since it was
| started. The in person meetings are the point and the whatsapp
| group exists to facilitate that.
| caycep wrote:
| Not coincidentally about the size of a US infantry company...
| rossdavidh wrote:
| Often noted in other contexts:
| https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunbar's_number
| ashryan wrote:
| I've been organizing a weekly morning coffee session in Astoria,
| Queens for the last 2 (or 3?) years. The morning coffees are
| connected to our local tech community's series of meetups, but
| they aren't hyper-focused on tech and they don't have an agenda.
| Just a chance to meet neighbors.
|
| It's really been beneficial for me and my family, who aren't from
| here, to get to know more people in the neighborhood. These days
| I feel like it's a rarity to go outside without bumping into
| someone we know.
|
| It's also been awesome to see friendships and even collaborations
| form among people in the group.
|
| I recommend people give it a shot wherever they live. And if
| you're in NYC, come visit!
| melenaboija wrote:
| I'm from a small town in Spain, about 800 people small, and this
| is what everyone would do every night during the summer, each
| group hanging out in different spots with different gangs, lol.
| It was just a way to chat with your neighbors.
|
| Sadly, this has mostly disappeared, but I think it's a good
| example of how the sense of community in Spain differs from that
| in the U.S. And this feeling isn't limited to small towns, you
| can find it in big cities too somehow.
|
| Without knowing for sure, I'm almost certain that people in
| southern Italy and Greece do the exact same thing.
| penguin_booze wrote:
| I remember seeing a documentary or a video clip of this being
| followed. I don't recall whether or not it was in Spain, but it
| was definitely a Spanish-speaking village. That clip came to my
| mind when I read this post.
| drstewart wrote:
| >Sadly, this has mostly disappeared, but I think it's a good
| example of how the sense of community in Spain differs from
| that in the U.S.
|
| The first part of your sentence disagrees with the second
| jvidalv wrote:
| I'm also from a small town in Spain, ~600 people.
|
| And while it's not as popular as before it's still going strong
| in summer.
|
| I'm Catalan so we call it "la fresca", translates to "to the
| fresh air".
|
| In my street, ~5-10 people, my mother and some neighbours still
| do it.
|
| The way towns are build in spain facilitate that, single houses
| but no garden. We live door by door.
|
| So if you want to be outside you are by definition accesible.
|
| Before TV people used to also be a lot in the balcony just
| chilling and chatting with people passing by.
|
| This is my street in google mapa in case someone is interested:
|
| https://maps.app.goo.gl/?link=https://www.google.com/maps/@4...
| melenaboija wrote:
| My town is also in Catalunya, 60 miles north of yours :)
| mrweasel wrote:
| It's interesting how different people can be, and what energizes
| us. The coffee on the stoop seems incredibly nice, and I love
| that they acknowledge that the simplest events are some of the
| best ones. Once they start taking about "watch parties" and
| potlucks I personally check out completely, that's way too much
| for me. The less official stuff sound really great though, just
| sitting down for one cup of coffees time, or just a beer or two
| at the end of the week.
| tyhoff wrote:
| You say the 'watch parties' are too much, but these are
| actually the events that are the best. They are at 8p, people
| come over when their kids are in bed, we have 4-10 people show
| up, everyone's in their sweat pants, and we watch a TV episode.
| We discuss it for 10-15m afterwards, and we generally part
| ways.
|
| It's such a low-effort and small event, and it allows people to
| get into other people's homes in a low-judgement way. It's been
| one of the more successful events at getting neighbors to
| become friends with each other.
| davidedicillo wrote:
| I love this concept. I live by a popular head trail, and when I
| do work in the garage (on my bikes or other projects), I usually
| keep the door open. That simple thing led to meeting many people
| from around the neighborhood.
| conductr wrote:
| I love these stories. My adult home city feels off compared to
| where I grew up in terms of neighborly-ness. So while I'm not a
| coffee drinker, I have been doing the pancake breakfast thing
| monthly in my front lawn/driveway for a decade, also an annual
| crawfish boil that is a big draw for the surrounding neighborhood
| (probably 300 people show up, free beer never hurts attendance)
|
| FWIW, I live in a mid-century suburb that's now part of the urban
| core but also still very low density and single family housing
| oriented. The challenge is that there is a huge disparity of the
| census in a neighborhood like this. You have 90 year old people
| who raised their kids long ago and you have newly married folks
| who bought their first home. You even have some people who are
| just renting houses and don't really care about getting to know
| their neighbors. Unlike in the the newer exurb/suburbs where most
| people are raising family and all going through similar life
| phases, or in the denser part of the city where most people are
| single or DINKs. It's also varies alot by when you moved here,
| because it started out as a very affordable middle class
| neighborhood and is now extremely affluent with people building
| new construction multimillion dollar McMansions, etc. Anywho,
| it's been a good way to get people into a super casual setting
| and let them get to know each other. It certainly feels more like
| 'home' to me now.
| TuringNYC wrote:
| > my husband Tyler and I wanted that sense of community that
| feels like it's only possible in the suburbs, but we believed we
| could achieve this while living in San Francisco.
|
| That is not my experience at all! Growing up in Brooklyn, hanging
| out on the stoop was a major social scene. (Also a factor: no AC
| indoors, which meant going outside for cool air) Now, in the
| suburbs, the homes are too far apart to have adhoc convos. Also,
| in many places the absence of sidewalks makes walking over to
| others' homes prohibitive.
| deadbabe wrote:
| If you can change a neighborhood, you can change a city.
| bobbyfromnz wrote:
| When you travel to most other countries this kind of community is
| present. Warms my heart that it's finding its way to you.
| kelseyfrog wrote:
| The format and delivery reminds me of Tree Raves: A Case Study in
| Social Protocols[1] - here's a series of behaviors you can
| implement if you'ld like to replicate this type of thing too.
|
| 1. https://prigoose.substack.com/p/tree-raves-a-case-study-
| in-s...
| nickvec wrote:
| Awesome article. Inspires me to try to form better relationships
| with my neighbors.
|
| nit: the header "Where We Today" seems like it's omitting an
| "Are"
| geverett wrote:
| good catch, fixed! thanks :)
| reactordev wrote:
| We need more of this. People are isolated, afraid, not willing to
| make the first move. Do it! The worst thing that can happen is
| you just enjoy your coffee outside, the best - read the article.
| slothtrop wrote:
| Man, I'd like to do this. My suburb doesn't have much foot-
| traffic though. I do my best to greet the neighbors, and
| sometimes chat up people at the coffee shop. Time constraints are
| a factor when it comes to socializing, as a parent to toddlers.
| dr__mario wrote:
| Super amused that something so "deep Spain" (specifically from my
| region) arises in other places too:
|
| https://es-euronews-com.translate.goog/2022/07/12/salir-al-f...
| unnamed76ri wrote:
| I live in the suburbs on a busy road. The road is literally a
| dividing line between the village. One which means we only
| interact with the neighbors on the other side when there is a car
| accident.
| urbandw311er wrote:
| Nice. By the way what's a stoop?
| cbracketdash wrote:
| "A small porch, platform, or staircase leading to the entrance
| of a house or building."
|
| - Google
| phil-lnf wrote:
| Phil, editor of the Supernuclear Substack here. I wasn't
| expecting "hanging out on stoops" to boot AI out of the #1 slot
| on Hacker News :) Glad this resonated for folks
|
| A great way of kick-starting stoop culture is having a friend or
| family member live right next door.
|
| We started a company called Live Near Friends
| (https://livenearfriends.com) to help people do this.
| numbers wrote:
| could I please just browse live near friends without logging
| in? signing-in/signing-up feels like too much effort to just
| browse
| phil-lnf wrote:
| try this:
| https://app.livenearfriends.com/hfc/home?dfm=Bay+Area
| wwarner wrote:
| pff wish i knew abt this last year!
| phkx wrote:
| Douglas Rushkoff would certainly approve. Go Team Human!
| lofaszvanitt wrote:
| Porch monkeys? :D
| rottencupcakes wrote:
| This comment comes across a little dismissive, but this was my
| exact thought.
|
| What if the people doing this were of another socioeconomic
| class and were drinking malt liquor? Or even if not imbibing,
| just smoking a black and mild.
|
| Very interesting thought experiment.
| Facemelters wrote:
| The whitest thing I've ever seen
| eb0la wrote:
| My father was born in a small village in Guadalajara, Spain. I
| remember in the village my grandma and other neighbours tool
| their chair outside their homes to talk at the end of the day. It
| is great to see good things coming again. Do it... MORE.
| makr17 wrote:
| At the start of Covid lockdown my group at work started having a
| daily "drinking alone together" afternoon Google Meet.
|
| When that job ended, our household started drinking on our front
| porch in the afternoons. Soon a few neighbors started doing the
| same, and we got close enough (15-20 feet) to trade cell numbers.
| After that we would text back and forth to communicate during
| "distanced happy hour".
|
| The friendships we made drinking _not_ together have lasted, and
| we still count those neighbors as friends...
| aprdm wrote:
| I love this. I will bookmark / see what I can do once it stops
| raining everyday in Vancouver
| tediousgraffit1 wrote:
| I love this and I'm not trying to be a downer, but I do think
| it's funny that 'go outside and talk to your neighbors' is an
| innovative idea in 20xx
| jbverschoor wrote:
| Yeah that's actually illegal in the Netherlands. "Hanging"
| Lammy wrote:
| Not that it would ever be enforced against these people (and not
| like I agree with the ordinance existing at all) but the "typical
| weekend stoop hang" seems like it would definitely be illegal by
| a strict reading of San Francisco Police Code SS168 a.k.a the
| "sit/lie law":
| https://codelibrary.amlegal.com/codes/san_francisco/latest/s...
|
| =======
|
| > Present laws that prohibit the intentional, willful or
| malicious obstruction of pedestrians do not adequately address
| the safety hazards, disruption and deterrence to pedestrian
| traffic caused by persons sitting or lying on sidewalks.
|
| > (b) Prohibition. In the City and County of San Francisco,
| during the hours between seven (7:00) a.m. and eleven (11:00)
| p.m., it is unlawful to sit or lie down upon a public sidewalk,
| or any object placed upon a public sidewalk.
|
| > (c) Exceptions. The prohibitions in Subsection (b) shall not
| apply to any person:
|
| > 1. Sitting or lying down on a public sidewalk due to a medical
| emergency;
|
| > 2. Using a wheelchair, walker, or similar device as the result
| of a disability;
|
| > 3. Operating or patronizing a commercial establishment
| conducted on the public sidewalk pursuant to a sidewalk use
| permit;
|
| > 4. Participating in or attending a parade, festival,
| performance, rally, demonstration, meeting, or similar event
| conducted on the public sidewalk pursuant to and in compliance
| with a street use or other applicable permit;
|
| > 5. Sitting on a fixed chair or bench located on the public
| sidewalk supplied by a public agency or by the abutting private
| property owner;
|
| > 6. Sitting in line for goods or services unless the person or
| person's possessions impede the ability of pedestrians to travel
| along the length of the sidewalk or enter a doorway or other
| entrance alongside the sidewalk;
|
| > 7. Who is a child seated in a stroller; or
|
| > 8. Who is in an area designated as a Pavement to Parks project.
| chevman wrote:
| We live in a mid sized city in the midwest, typical city block
| with single family homes. Folks keep to themselves a bit - not
| everyone, but enough that you have to make an effort to connect
| with neighbors.
|
| My son and I had the idea that we should just organize a block
| party. I think this was in early 2021 after covid was letting up
| a bit. He was 7 years old and said we should get a food truck to
| come.
|
| So that's what we did. Made homemade invitations and handed them
| out to a couple blocks around us and sent out emails to friends.
|
| I think we had like 75 people show up to the first one! It was
| great. Had a taco truck come, and the local fire station rolled
| the engine by for the kids.
|
| Blocked off the street so everyone could sit together and the
| kids could run around without worrying about traffic.
|
| We've been trying to do this every 6 months or so since then.
| Great way to meet tons of folks in the immediate vicinity and
| strike up some new friendships - highly recommend it.
| jacobsenscott wrote:
| Careful though - remember what George Carlin has to say about
| forming groups https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7m6TSv2vtvQ
| nickzelei wrote:
| This is amazing! A few folks on my block in the lower haight
| started doing something similar during Covid. We've met some long
| term neighbor friends this way that we otherwise may have never
| met.
|
| Love to know that more of this was going on in the city.
| mckleroy wrote:
| The Outershell brand in San Francisco does this on bikes, where a
| group bikes across the GGB, sets up coffee, drinks coffee, in a
| beautiful spot in nature. Love this concept though, very
| accessible!
| collingreen wrote:
| I love this and you're inspiring me to copycat on our little
| street in twin peaks.
| mparnisari wrote:
| i'd love to participate in this where i live (not organize, just
| participate) but sadly it rains almost every single day and i
| doubt people would show up
| bobsyourbuncle wrote:
| How do ppl do this if they have a 9-5?
| geverett wrote:
| I'm the co-author of Supernuclear and editor of this post. We've
| been writing the blog for almost five years now, you never know
| what will go viral!
|
| I've spent my adult life living in Istanbul, New York, San
| Francisco, and San Juan, Puerto Rico. In Istanbul it sometimes
| felt like my neighbors knew _too much_ about me - they would
| comment on who slept over (I had a lot of friends visit!) and
| once when I went out of town for a week my landlady said she
| nearly let herself into my home to make sure I hadn 't died
| because no one had seen me in a few days. That being said, it was
| also comforting to know, 5000 miles from my home and my family,
| that people around me cared about my wellbeing and my
| whereabouts.
|
| And this is the thing those of us who live in the US sometimes
| forget: knowing your neighbors isn't just about being able to
| borrow cup of sugar when you're out. It's about knowing someone
| will share their generator when a hurricane has knocked your
| power out. It's about someone noticing when something looks _off_
| and coming over to knock and make sure you 're ok. We aren't just
| happier when we get to know our neighbors better, we're safer.
| joshuaheard wrote:
| My old neighborhood had "Front Porch Fridays" where neighbors
| would gather in front of someone's house and have a pot luck with
| cocktails. It was very popular.
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