[HN Gopher] Ask HN: How Do I Escape Homelessness After Rebuildin...
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Ask HN: How Do I Escape Homelessness After Rebuilding My Mental
Health?
I never thought I'd be here--but I've hit a wall I can't break
through alone. I'm asking for help, advice, ideas--anything
practical--to get off the streets and back into stability. In the
last year, I lost my mother (cancer), my grandmother (old age), and
went through a divorce. I spiraled into depression, ended up living
out of my car, barely functioning. But I didn't stay down. Through
therapy, ketamine treatment, and building my own AI-assisted mental
health tools (ChatGPT literally saved me), I've come out stronger,
healthier, and ready to rebuild. My mental health is solid now--
I've done the inner work. Here's my situation: I'm living in my
car, staying in cheap motels when I can afford it. I drive
Lyft/Uber full-time, but my car needs new tires, insurance renewal,
and a payment due--without it, I can't work. $400 for tires, $200
for insurance, $290 for car payment.. I have a desktop computer
but nowhere stable to set it up and work. I'm going back to school
soon for computer science, aiming for AI/ML work, but I need to
survive until student aid or inheritance (both delayed) arrives.
Here's my question: What would YOU do in my situation to break the
cycle? How can I create a stable base, get back to
programming/freelancing, and stop just surviving? I'm willing to
work. I know I can earn 3-4x more doing freelance tech, but I can't
do that from a car. I've thought about renting office space,
finding roommates, even setting up a GoFundMe, but I need
actionable ideas, not just hope. How do I climb out of this? What
programs, jobs, or options are out there for someone like me who's
got skills, drive, but no resources? Any advice, ideas, or help
you can give--I'm all ears. I've rebuilt my mind. Now I just need a
stable place to rebuild my life. It's hard feeling constantly like
I'm in quick sand and the rope is 5 inches too far away. I'm in
Southern Utah (St George), willing to relocate to SLC area or Las
Vegas, I just need to stay local for my kids...4 hour radius from
southern Utah.
Author : gremlinsinc
Score : 116 points
Date : 2025-03-18 17:42 UTC (5 hours ago)
| pavel_lishin wrote:
| > _How do I climb out of this? What programs, jobs, or options
| are out there for someone like me who's got skills, drive, but no
| resources?_
|
| Go to your local libraries; the most beneficial programs are
| likely to be local to you, and the librarians are more likely to
| know about them than we are.
| flocciput wrote:
| Rely on those programs while you still can:
| https://www.ala.org/news/2025/03/ala-statement-white-house-a...
| avgDev wrote:
| You can work from a local library.
|
| Do you have anyone you can lean on? Cousin? Uncle? Anyone? Just a
| little financial support could go a long way.
|
| Do you have any programming experience? Instead of making school
| a priority, I would try to get an actual job. Non-tech can be
| stupid simple, the pay can be decent, definitely better than
| Uber. Plus, you will have a space to work and a work
| machine.(this can be a bit hard right now as tech is going
| through a down cycle)
|
| You need a job.
|
| After you stabilize your situation you can think about AI/ML imo.
| gremlinsinc wrote:
| I've got 10 years experience with laravel, lots of PHP,
| JavaScript, vue, react, MySQL, Python etc...i just don't have a
| computer unless I can find a place to set up my desktop...
| that's my biggest hurdle.
| avgDev wrote:
| Apply to jobs. Go to library and review some of these
| languages before interviews, you can use the library
| computer.
|
| Have you been trying to get a stable job as dev or data guy?
| As this is where you should start. You really just need a
| stable income, so you can get an apartment and space to live.
|
| Once, you have stable situation you can figure out the rest.
| kevinmershon wrote:
| While all those skills are great to have, you're now
| competing with every unemployed junior, fresh grad, and old
| coder on the market. You need to update your skill set, and
| ideally focus on skills that are in higher demand and with
| higher barrier to entry or with a captive audience/market.
|
| Vue/React/Python are all still huge but they're commodity
| skills today. Differentiating will help with the jobseeking.
| sovietswag wrote:
| Archive.org has a PHP Software Engineer position they posted
| recently, may come in handy once you have a more stable setup
| with your computer
|
| https://workforcenow.adp.com/mascsr/default/mdf/recruitment/.
| ..
|
| Best wishes and good luck with everything
| thaumaturgy wrote:
| I worked with this particular "team", in this exact
| position, for over a year and I cannot recommend strongly
| enough _against_ it, especially for someone that has just
| regained their mental health.
|
| Those two people should not be in a supervisory role over
| any other engineer, ever.
| pessimizer wrote:
| I'd trade down that desktop into an old Thinkpad circa T430
| era, which you can get for less than $150 and slap Debian
| onto. If you need more processor for something, rent it from
| the cloud and work through ssh (or set up a VPN.)
|
| With that, a cellphone, and wifi, you actually can work from
| your car. Certainly from a coffee shop.
| geocrasher wrote:
| I've never been in this position so take what I say with a grain
| of salt.
|
| Get a job- anything where they will hire you and pay you. Use
| that to bootstrap yourself out of your car and into any kind of
| housing. Anything at all. Work that full time while you do
| freelance gigs until the freelance gigs pay about 2/3 of your
| income. Use the freelance money to fix your car etc. Now quit
| your job and uber 1/3 and freelance 2/3.
|
| Oversimplified? yes. But it's not designed to be a foolproof
| plan, just food for thought.
|
| Also that's fantastic that you've pulled yourself out of
| depression. I once had the worst clinical depression my
| psychiatrist had ever seen. I pulled myself out of it and got rid
| of the things that caused it, including some pretty bad internal
| programming.
|
| You've got this. You can do it.
| notsure357 wrote:
| Your dreams of making it in AI sound far fetched to me. I would
| look for a more solid career path such as within a trade. Learn
| basic plumbing or electrical work. You might be able to find
| someplace to work as an apprentice as you learn too.
| gremlinsinc wrote:
| I was making 50 per hour doing freelance programming two years
| ago but I've had trouble finding clients and then I didn't have
| a place to work from, making it even harder. That's my biggest
| obstacle. I've got 10+years experience with PHP, JavaScript,
| laravel. etc...
| prawn wrote:
| Is there a reason you're hooked on the desktop computer?
| Maybe you invested a lot in it as a gaming setup? I'd offload
| it, get a laptop and you're then capable of charging at a
| library, working there or in the car, in a park, etc. If
| you're on the cusp of a worsening situation, gaming might be
| the least of your worries.
|
| Lots of people live in vehicles quite intentionally. It's
| harder and very often not ideal, but I don't think it's your
| biggest issue here.
| nipponese wrote:
| Maybe just switch out of tech and join a union with a paid
| apprenticeship or training program. Do you like to build/fix
| stuff with your hands?
| s1artibartfast wrote:
| Easier said than done. My wife tried to find a union job for a
| year and it was incredibly difficult, and dominated by
| nepotism. Local unions only offered a handful of apprentice
| positions per year and there were hundreds of applicants for
| each. There were standardized exams for entry, but the final
| test was always a personality interview.
|
| Unions greedily guard membership because scarcity is what
| drives their salary up, at lest in my area.
| kaikai wrote:
| I've been homeless and am now an employed engineer, so I know
| it's possible to make the leap. You can't make it in one go,
| though.
|
| Get a better job, that can get you stable housing. I don't know
| the job market in your area, but try looking for temp agencies.
| They will do a basic interview and help you find something that
| uses your existing skills. Until you get stable housing and your
| basic needs met, focus on what you can do with the skills you
| have now.
|
| Seconding what others said about going to the library. In my
| community they serve almost as social workers, and have lists of
| places like food banks that can help you until you have better
| employment. Your county will also have resources for you; you can
| get on the waiting list for housing vouchers (they're years long,
| but just in case), get food stamps, get leads for programs local
| to you.
|
| Yes, it's possible to end up with a tech job. There's a big gap
| between where you are now and there, though, and having stability
| in the short term will help you get there.
| flocciput wrote:
| This is really the only comment here with any weight to it.
| Congrats on making it out of homelessness.
| ty6853 wrote:
| If he switches from contract/1099 to a wage job I wonder if
| child support will start garnishing the fuck out of it. This is
| the black hole a lot of people get sucked into and end up
| having to start their own business to buy some runway because
| the courts very much enjoy kicking non custodial parents in the
| teeth to the point they cannot get one foot on the ground.
| endofreach wrote:
| It's not like the government is taking the money though...
| usually it goes to someone who is arguably deserving. So i
| feel "kicking in the teeth" seems inappropriate.
|
| I also fucked up because of taxes many times and just
| recently a big bad "surprise" hit me. But it's not like it
| was not my failure of responsibility.
| kaikai wrote:
| Supporting their kids is one of their responsibilities. Child
| support is income-based. I haven't had to navigate that
| system so don't have specific advice, but I'm not going to
| support someone dodging child support.
| ty6853 wrote:
| It is based on imputed not actual income, unlike taxes.
| Hence say someone getting taken hostage by terrorists will
| owe back support and be jailed upon their release [0].
|
| The tax analogy would be the IRS thinks you should be
| better at stocks, maybe on the basis you had a few good
| years, then taxes you for that this year instead of your
| bad gains due to luck/depression/whatever.
|
| https://greensboro.com/ex-hostage-jailed-in-child-support-
| ca...
| 6stringmerc wrote:
| Not in Texas, it's most often ruled upon based on income
| expectations.
| infamouscow wrote:
| OP stated being located in Utah.
| revnode wrote:
| > I drive Lyft/Uber full-time
|
| Stop driving Lyft/Uber. It's for those who don't have any skills
| beyond driving a car.
|
| Sit down and determine what are the skills that you currently
| possess that are the most valuable on the market right now. Then
| sell those to the highest bidder.
|
| My two cents, that isn't a job.
|
| > I know I can earn 3-4x more doing freelance tech, but I can't
| do that from a car.
|
| Yes, you can. That's a limiting belief; it's just holding you
| back. All you need is a laptop. Need to make a meeting? Go to a
| local cafe. Nobody will even notice. More importantly, if you're
| doing remote contract work, perfectly acceptable to ask a
| percentage of the total upfront. That will go a long way to get
| you out of a car and into an apartment quickly.
|
| > What would YOU do in my situation to break the cycle?
|
| 1. Stop driving Uber, stop renting motels, stop paying any bills,
| bring my costs down to near zero.
|
| 2. Start taking on as much contract work doing "freelance tech"
| that I can find, with as much paid upfront as possible.
|
| 3. Once I have 10k in the bank, rent an apartment and start
| cleaning up whatever mess is left.
|
| 4. Start making quality of life decisions. Maybe you don't want
| contract, but want a job? Maybe a nicer laptop? Closer to your
| kids? Live your life.
|
| #1 is the hardest, because you're risking everything on your
| ability to deliver. You have to believe in yourself.
| gremlinsinc wrote:
| I only have a desktop. I thought about getting office space
| from the chamber of commerce for 250 per month... and I can use
| their fridge to save money on food (Greek yogurt, Jimmy Dean
| sandwiches, and string cheese is all I need)...
| kevinmershon wrote:
| Chamber of Commerce is swimming with other hungry sharks.
| You'd be better off finding a coworking space (NOT a chain
| one like WeWork). Talk to the owner and explain your
| situation, ask for a month or two discount while you get your
| bearings and attend every meetup they have. Meet everyone,
| tell your story, share your skills. A small community will
| help take care of you in ways a CoC will not.
| kaikai wrote:
| Don't rent an office space. You dont have the runway to make
| that work given the current tech market. Focus on getting a
| solid enough job to get you actual housing. Temp agency,
| county jobs program, take anything that will pay you a living
| wage and provide stability.
| revnode wrote:
| > I only have a desktop.
|
| Sell it. It's a paperweight for you right now. You can find a
| really nice open-box/used laptop for $300-400 that will allow
| you to work from anywhere. You can charge the laptop at a
| cafe or a library. $5 for coffee and you have a working space
| to take calls and work.
| soared wrote:
| Ignore 95% of comments here. Research your options for local
| support through the government and religion. Religion may be more
| helpful in your area, even if your beliefs don't exactly align.
| There is housing, food, etc available to you but you'll likely
| need a social worker for help find it.
|
| https://switchpointcrc.org/ is local to you with food, shelter,
| etc.
|
| More info from a gov source:
| https://sgcityutah.gov/business_detail_T18_R270.php
|
| https://switchpointcrc.org/how-to-get-help/
|
| The local access points to the coordinated entry system provide
| the assessment, information and referrals, and other resources to
| the person seeking housing.
|
| Stop by or call for more information 948.N 1300 W. St. George,
| Utah 84770. 435-628-9310
| prewett wrote:
| +1, definitely. Social workers are there for exactly your
| situation. There are generally state programs for housing,
| housing assistance, food, and health care, which they can help
| you locate. You paid for this previously with your taxes, take
| advantage of them now. They are probably also aware of other
| religious / independent options. They may be able to advise you
| on whether moving somewhere like SLC, which has local tech,
| might or might not provide more support.
|
| Unfortunately, the tech market is not great right now, and I
| think remote freelance rates are fairly low right now. But, in
| your situation, you can probably offer very competitive rates
| while still building up some savings. Once you have some
| savings (six months to 1 year is usually the recommendation),
| it gives you a lot of margin of safety, and you can reduce your
| usage of the government assistance.
| kevinmershon wrote:
| 1. Ignore the haters.
|
| 2. Sell or trade in the desktop for a laptop. Portability and
| space is your friend. Join a local Facebook "buy nothing" group,
| and ask for a trade or someone's spare old laptop. Any mobility
| improvement is a win.
|
| 3. Immediately make a free account for Salesforce's Trailhead
| program https://trailhead.salesforce.com/ and start learning
| everything you can. Badges can be added to your linkedin, and you
| should go heavy down the path of force.com development if you
| can.
|
| 4. Once you have a few badges, polish up your linkedin (and
| resume) and start spamming recruiters for salesforce positions.
|
| The ERP/CRM world pays very well but almost all platforms have a
| stupidly high barrier to entry, EXCEPT Salesforce. You could have
| a $100k/yr job in a few months if you follow this path, and then
| branch out to Oracle or NetSuite or SAP from here.
|
| edits (consolidating advice here for posterity):
|
| I should add that ERP/CRM consulting is largely remote friendly
| and your prospective employers/consulting firms will probably not
| give a rip where you live. They never did for me.
|
| Find a coworking space (NOT a chain one like WeWork) in your
| town. Talk to the owner and explain your situation, ask for a
| month or two discount while you get your bearings and attend
| every meetup they have or know about. Meet everyone, tell your
| story, share your skills. A small community will help take care
| of you in ways a Chamber of Commerce chapter will not.
|
| If you are not religious, look for an Oddfellows chapter. They
| may be a resource to you in a similar way as a church
| congregation.
|
| And if you have skills but they are outdated, you're now
| competing with every unemployed junior, fresh grad, and old coder
| on the market. Update your skill set, and ideally focus on skills
| that are in higher demand and with higher barrier to entry or
| with a captive audience/market. Differentiating will help with
| jobseeking.
|
| For extra side income, attend garage/yard/rummage sales and focus
| on books. Books are great to flip, because you can immediately
| appraise the quality, scan the ISBN number to find the going
| rate, and only buy it to flip if it's worth enough.
| motohagiography wrote:
| the hardest advice I've received was to find what you are still
| hanging on to that is preventing change and let it go.
|
| in that spirit: you don't have shelter. I would say you have
| nothing to offer your kids right now except your emotional need.
| their mother (or whoever) can take care of them. you're out,
| done, kaput. accept the failure and earn their forgiveness
| sometime the future if you are lucky, not now. the belief that
| you have or can be something for them today in these
| circumstances creates the constraint on the location of
| opportunities in front of you, and they will sense they are your
| anchor and resent you more for it.
|
| get rid of the desktop computer as well. pawn it and use the
| money for something useful like a spare phone or battery pack or
| whatever car things you need, it provides no opportunity.
|
| you need relationships of any kind, somewhere else. get a job
| selling something, even if it's in a mall kiosk, it doesn't
| matter, so long as you are in front of people.
|
| this is the harshest advice I can think of. I can't say whether
| it's good or advisable, but anything else you get can be compared
| against it. good luck.
| qnleigh wrote:
| Hopefully it's obvious, but cutting yourself out of your
| remaining social connections is not good advice. I don't
| understand what this is supposed to gain you, but it's
| obviously not worth it, for you or your kids.
|
| Also sounds like you should not get rid of your PC, unless it
| helps you acquire a laptop.
|
| > this is the harshest advice I can think of
|
| Good job. Did you stop to think if this was -good- advice?
| motohagiography wrote:
| a man's dependent children are not his "social connections."
| whether my scenario is the correct path or not, I'd repeat
| that considering this is what other advice should be seen in
| light of.
|
| however, if you want to drill down on it: what is a guy going
| to do with a pc he needs secure shelter to operate? what kind
| of decisions is he going to make that protect it? what kind
| of promises is he going to make and break to his kids when he
| can't take care of himself?
|
| if they're indeed safe somewhere, get into a position with
| something to provide. it would be smarter to sell the pc and
| buy a guitar as at least he can busk with it.
| giraffe_lady wrote:
| It's not good advice. Being homeless in the US is a brutal,
| dehumanizing experience, partly intentionally. Connections to
| people who care about you for your own sake and treat you like
| a person are incredibly precious and not guaranteed by any
| means. I was homeless for many years and I have known a great
| many homeless people. The ones that can maintain human
| connections, especially with "normal" people not living on the
| street, have the best long-term odds.
|
| Frankly most of the people who do "make it out" accomplish that
| because someone had the resources and decided to use it on
| this, for them, out of love or obligation or simple charity. I
| believe very very strongly, based on my experiences and
| observations directly, that you should never advise people
| facing homelessness to break any ties that are not actively
| harmful to them. Even then it's not always clear.
| steve_adams_86 wrote:
| When I was younger I moved somewhere without a backup plan, and
| took some seasonal work (which actually paid fairly well), then
| did some construction (didn't pay so well). The seasonal work
| offered food and boarding so I was able to essentially vanish,
| coast on the awful camp food and live in a tent, and save every
| penny. The construction work, I just rode a bike there and did my
| bit from 9 to 5. Rent wasn't cheap, but I didn't have a lot of
| other expenses.
|
| I lived a bit like a bum and had to sacrifice a lot, but it
| worked. It was temporary. I left where I was because I had a room
| mate with mental health issues, and rather than subject myself to
| them (they were becoming violent), I realized I had to take a
| leap. If I kicked them out, I was inviting trouble for myself and
| setting them up for a hard fall. If I left, they at least had a
| space to live and sort themselves out for a while.
|
| This was when I was teaching myself programming. I read books
| when I couldn't use my computer, but once I could afford a place
| where I could use my computer, I spent a lot of my spare time
| doing that, finding freelance work, and getting out of the hard
| labour scene. It worked out fine. You've got a leg up since
| you've already got skills and proof of ability.
|
| Good luck. I know it's hard, and it feels like garbage a lot of
| the time, but you sink in the hours now to get relief later.
|
| Good luck.
| cantrecallmypwd wrote:
| I lived in vehicles for 11 years until eventually resettling with
| family after circumstances changes.
|
| 1. Find the local county or city social services agency.
|
| 2. Apply for emergency aid and shelter, including Medicaid and
| SNAP.
|
| 3. Apply for section 8 housing. This usually will take a great
| deal of time.
| ilc wrote:
| Poster who replied is right. I am out of my depths.
| giraffe_lady wrote:
| Homeless people usually can't benefit much from food banks,
| since they give out little (or no) ready to eat food. Maybe I
| missed it but I don't think OP mentioned having access to a
| kitchen or even a fridge.
|
| Cooking on a camp stove or something is possible but can be
| very risky depending on location and other factors. Living out
| of your car it's extremely important not to draw police
| attention to yourself, you do not want them to start to
| recognize your car.
|
| I don't mean to be hostile but this is one of those things that
| is extremely basic knowledge if you've lived through it but
| almost completely invisible if not. It makes me wonder how much
| of this advice is based on conjecture rather than experience
| working with (or being!) homeless people.
| ilc wrote:
| Updated my comment. You are very correct.
| giraffe_lady wrote:
| I didn't intend for you to do that but I appreciate the
| gesture.
|
| FWIW I don't usually give general "advice for the homeless"
| in these threads either, despite having directly
| experienced it myself and volunteered with homeless people
| for years after getting out. The choice of action depends
| too much on local/regional institutions and dynamics, and
| individual particulars.
| prawn wrote:
| (Adding on, not disputing.)
|
| If cooking meals in that situation, I'd suggest using a camp
| stove outside at parks and for lunch. The more you look like
| everything is under control, the less police will focus on
| you. Flip the norms and eat something that doesn't require
| cooking at night (less clean up in the dark, etc) like a
| sandwich.
|
| If you're not going to be in the car long term, buy fresh to
| cook or stash things you can keep in a cool bag or that are
| shelf stable. You can't justify a 12v fridge and battery, and
| buying ice for a cooler is annoying and adds up. No shame in
| tins or whatever else if it's all short term.
|
| Eat and do any other sleep prep in one place, _then_ drive to
| your likely overnight spot and do little more than move to
| the back and go to sleep. Minimise your visibility in that
| "person about to sleep in their car" phase. Look for spots
| near mid-range apartment blocks where residents don't keep
| track of exactly which car belongs to who and won't call
| police because they're suspicious. The police are mostly
| looking for people creating visible trouble (belongings
| spilling out of vehicle, pissing everywhere, yelling) or
| because residents have called to get you moved on.
|
| I said in another comment, but ultimately the desktop
| computer is the major hindrance. Get even a simple laptop and
| you can study/work from a library or park and improve the
| employment situation as a priority. Others have given tips
| for options there.
| timewizard wrote:
| > Through therapy, ketamine treatment, and building my own AI-
| assisted mental health tools
|
| Those do not sound like a pathway to mental health.
|
| > staying in cheap motels when I can afford it.
|
| From what you've said you clearly can't afford it.
|
| > What would YOU do in my situation to break the cycle?
|
| Get a regular job. It's going to feel like a giant step
| backwards, but, this is what you need right now. You need to
| stabilize yourself and have some reliable work and housing in
| your life. You need a routine. You need to socialize with your
| co-workers. You need to build all of the things that are
| currently missing in your life. You cannot build a bridge to a
| fantasy.
|
| > I'm willing to work. I know I can earn 3-4x more doing
| freelance tech, but I can't do that from a car.
|
| You can earn 3 to 4x more doing construction or day labor. Which,
| given where you live, is going to be far more reliable and afford
| you more opportunities to matriculate into better positions.
|
| > I've thought about renting office space, finding roommates,
| even setting up a GoFundMe, but I need actionable ideas, not just
| hope.
|
| Those ideas aren't even hopeful. I think your endpoints have been
| moved and you didn't notice.
|
| > I just need to stay local for my kids
|
| We go through all of the above to finally out with the fact you
| have dependents? I fear that you've just been mollycoddling
| yourself and not being honest or serious about your future.
|
| I'll leave you with this. Wake up. There ARE fates worse than
| death out there and I hate to see you wake up to that kind of
| regret.
| bowsamic wrote:
| > Those do not sound like a pathway to mental health.
|
| If you don't consider therapy a pathway to mental health I'm
| not sure what could be
| balamatom wrote:
| There is no "mental health", other than in the eye of the
| introspector. What exists in objective reality, is the
| successful or unsuccessful performing of the assigned social
| role.
|
| When you fail to fulfill your role, or when you consciously
| reject it, or when society simply has no role to offer you,
| the world around you begins to fall apart, and you find your
| mind adapting to the raw, unfiltered, unconditioned chaos
| that surrounds you in every unpredictable moment.
|
| It's called madness. It's a natural response that a human has
| to the falling away of social bonds. One would like to
| believe that pre-industrial, non-totalizing societies knew a
| thing or two about the workings of that particular stable
| configuration of the human mind, and what role it can be made
| to fulfill in the collective "organism" of the community.
|
| Our society, on the other hand, well... it simply blames you
| for being a "no good" person, and puts all the responsibility
| on you while robbing you of all power to resolve your
| situation. Because it's better that way - for everyone else,
| but you, the very person whose fault it most certainly isn't.
| Which is, fundamentally, unjust. But what can one do - we're
| all taught in childhood that "life's not fair", so that's
| exactly the kind of life we end up setting up for each other.
|
| (FWIW, of those three "pathways", the only one I've
| personally witnessed to accomplish _anything at all_ is the
| one that 's the least socially accepted. We do remain, after
| all, subject to the pressures of natural selection. Sapienti
| sat.)
| timewizard wrote:
| "Therapy" and "going to therapy" are actually two different
| things. I don't read this as someone putting in the work, I
| read this as someone attempting to check the right boxes, and
| life simply does not work that way.
| balamatom wrote:
| >We go through all of the above to finally out with the fact
| you have dependents
|
| _> We go through all of the above_
|
| I'm awfully sorry, but what the hell of the above did _you_ go
| through just now? _Reading a post about a situation?_
|
| Some damn empaths we have here, mind.
|
| (FWIW, I stopped reading at "ChatGPT".)
| nonameiguess wrote:
| Something reasonably close to this happened to me in 2002. I
| worked for Disney at the time and they cut back to the
| entertainment department and laid me off. My wife at the time
| OD'd, got herself committed to a psych ward, got us kicked out of
| our apartment, and we ultimateley divorced. I was forced to live
| out of my car for a while.
|
| It frankly wasn't actionable ideas and guarantees that got me
| back. It was commitment to a plan once I had one, no matter how
| shitty the interim existence was, and the grace and goodness of
| other people. You're arguably in a better position if you already
| have marketable job skills. I was doing performance art for
| Disneyland. I went back to school after and eventually became
| this, but that took years before I had anything like an
| independent, stable adult existence. I was working graveyard
| shifts cleaning park restrooms and taking 24 credit hours per
| semester at a community college during the day, for two years,
| before I got old enough to be eligible for financial aid without
| having to report my parents' income and assets, and they weren't
| helping me.
|
| But other people did help. Two women I knew, very good friends
| from now a long time ago, had parents that let me stay with them.
| One was a divorced Italian woman who was otherwise alone anyway
| and the other was a normal family that was rich and had a lot of
| extra space and didn't mind me taking up a little bit of it. I
| lived with with those two families when I had nowhere else to go
| and that was the initial path off the street that gave me the
| stability to do everything else.
|
| I have no answer for how you find such people who will help you.
| I would like to say be a kind, gracious person who deserves it,
| but it's hard to say I was even that. I did nothing to deserve
| help but people who could helped me anyway. I've spent the past
| quarter century since then paying it forward and helping out
| every person I possibly can and even letting a few homeless
| friends here and there live with me for a couple months at a
| time, but up to that point in my life, I had done nothing to
| deserve being helped.
| EconomistBon wrote:
| Give up on a career in IT. You will be wasting your education
| life. Get something with a license at the end where you can get a
| state job or something requiring the license. Like truck driver.
| Get a CDL and make your official home the cheapest studio
| apartment you can find in 1000 miles.
| cyberbiosecure wrote:
| for stable space-grade pc (they literally use them on
| international space station) grab 100-200$ thinkpad from
| 2010-2015. it is very reliable and durable platform as known. why
| can't you get hired in any place asap? I've heard the minimum
| hourly pay in USA is about 10 bucks. if so, it's 80 per day, so
| at least 1500 per month.
| EconomistBon wrote:
| And call your local tech schools. Some states have programs to
| fund tech certificates. For example, in Kentucky, or one has no
| income or poverty for a while, the CDL training is free without
| needing student loan type assistance. If you can get student
| loans, enroll in the cheapest college possible and max them out,
| then pay for a studio apartment somewhere cheap and save every
| dime, and use the 'address' to get a job that doesn't require
| local commutes resources -- like trucker. Utah used to be the
| political debates for having solved homelessness. I thought Utah
| gave apartments to homeless people? Or you coukd get a bachelors
| in social work and then a phd, live on loans and stipends for 6
| years or so, and obtain a licensed occupation. Information
| technology/tech is a road to sadness and nobody in your position
| should aim at it
| EconomistBon wrote:
| 1. Give up dream of tech. 2. Call local tech schools and ask
| about rapid certifications and sponsorship programs like Kentucky
| has for CDL training doe people experiencing privation 3. Live on
| student loans working toward a licensable occupation in which
| graduate degrees benefit you, such as social work, nursing,
| teaching, paralegal 4. Live on loans either in a dorm or get the
| cheapest studio apartment around. 5. You can't eat pride, just
| get a long term plan for a room and burgers on demand.
|
| 6. _GIVE UP YOUR FANTASY OF TECH_. A bachelors in IT is
| worthless. They don 't even care about certs anymore after the
| DEI culture shift. They destroyed the lower levels to hand take
| the future from Americans and give it to Indians. There is no way
| to build up the initial skills sets because the number in the top
| of the pyramid is declining. It will take years to rebel against
| Microsoft's attempt to hold all private information. Give up It.
| 7. Your kids need a dad with a plan doe a room and burgers. Pride
| is worthless. Become a social worker and save 50 percent of your
| student loans for six years. Best wishes man,
| AStonesThrow wrote:
| Here's my thoughts, as I've been through this several times--
|
| 1. I really believe that you need housing. Spending on motels and
| office space is counterproductive. (But many folks who need
| showers and hygiene will register for a gym membership, or use a
| municipal rec center.)
|
| 2. Figure out whether you're part of a special population, or
| have any distinguishing qualities, that would match you with a
| particular program. You are confident about your mental health,
| but would a psychiatrist award you a diagnosis?
|
| 3. HUD Section 8 funds regional and municipal programs, and also
| programs for "chronically homeless" folks. Familiarize yourself
| with entry-points into this. There are waiting lists, and they're
| long. Figure out how to get notified when a waiting list opens
| and apply online--Internet-savvy users are a step-ahead of the
| _hoi polloi_.
|
| 4. Keep all your paperwork in order. I hope you're filing taxes
| and tracking your income/expenses. I hope you've got a bank
| account. If you work with any entitlement program then you'll
| need to pull out that documentation when it's requested.
| Libraries have printers, and your cloud/email account has online
| storage. Organize everything and back it up.
|
| 5. You'll find social-services networks that blanket communities
| with services, and you may need to travel a lot between agencies
| during the work-day hours. You can get fed at soup kitchens or in
| public parks or at a church with no questions asked, but they may
| preach at you and invite you to accept Jesus as true food...
| unfortunately, programs for employment development are ill-
| equipped to deal with IT professionals and certified high-tech
| workers, because those careers are expensive, and blue-collar
| types have difficulty being accepted to company cultures. Get
| assistance to polish your resume and print it out, because job
| development program may send you to job fairs and provide
| listings for blue-collar work, but they can also provide useful
| coaching and support for your job search and disability-related
| concerns, before, during and after the hiring process.
|
| 6. I have also seen agencies that will take in people and have a
| lot of services on-site. The central homeless shelter does this
| in my area, and also facilities for the disabled. Just because
| you have a car, you can still stay in a shelter. This may be a
| "bunking only" arrangement where you need to leave the premises
| during the daytime. Seems like a great fit!
|
| 7. In a nutshell, while it feels good to have freedom and feel
| like a professional #vanlife worker, if you want to rebuild your
| life, you will find yourself going where homeless street people
| go to do this. Your clinic, shelters, rec centers, and libraries
| will have postings and representatives to help you navigate.
| Sticking around, returning on a regular basis, and abiding by
| program rules will determine your potential for success.
| soufron wrote:
| Dont look for answers online. Go meet with a social worker and
| seek professional help within your community. It's there. They've
| seen it before. They can help.
| paulbjensen wrote:
| First of all I'm sorry to hear about the loss of your mother and
| grandmother. Losing one relative is hard enough, but losing
| another and then experiencing a separation is quite a lot to go
| through.
|
| In your spare time, it may be good to visit the Switchpoint
| center to help get their advice and support:
|
| https://switchpointcrc.org 948 N 1300 W, St. George, UT 84770
|
| With regards to the $890 you would pay to continue driving the
| car you use to work as a cab driver for Lyft/Uber, I would ask:
|
| - The $400 for tyres - there are 20+ tyre shops in St George,
| Utah. Which tyre shop did you visit in St George for your quote?
| It might be possible to get a better deal. I don't know, but it's
| possible. If you google "Tyre shop St George. Utah", you will see
| the list of options there.
|
| - With regards to the insurance, if there is a price comparison
| site in the US for insurance, try it out and see if you can
| reduce that amount. I know in the UK there is
| comparethemarket.com and gocompare.com as examples, so I presume
| that there has to be something like that in the US?
|
| I would ask "how much do you make weekly doing this job?"
| alongside "how much are your weekly expenses?" to help workout
| your income and outgoings to work out how sustainable your
| current situation is, and where changes can be applied to make it
| not just sustainable, but actually getting you to a place where
| you are good.
|
| In terms of programming, what are your skills like?, what
| programming have you/are you doing? Do you have a GitHub profile
| where you have code that you can show to people?
|
| If you are programming right now, then it might not be necessary
| to go and attend classes in school/college/university to study
| this subject. I can confirm that from 1st-hand experience. I
| studied a course in University in the UK that was a mixture of
| Business and Mathematics, but I ended up becoming a software
| developer.
|
| What programming languages/apps/tools/frameworks are you familiar
| with?
|
| It may be enough to sit down at a job interview, ask someone to
| pair program with you on a coding scenario, and demonstrate your
| capabilities right there and then. If the time allows.
|
| In terms of finding local programming jobs, that will require
| searching for those.
|
| Also, if you have a desktop computer, like others have suggested
| in the HackerNews thread, having a laptop will be far easier. See
| if you can find options to exchange the desktop for a laptop
| computer - donations, part exchange, part-payment anything. The
| mobility will enable you to be more mobile and suit you.
|
| Lastly, you mentioned Ketamine. Please be careful because that is
| a very addictive substance and in the UK recently a public figure
| by the name of "the Viviene" died from consuming it.
|
| Lastly, I hope that for your case that you manage to get to a
| better place. Life is a journey and not necessarily a smooth one
| - we hope for better times, but you can't rely on hope to gift
| you that - you have to strive for it.
|
| I will leave you with one of the most inspirational talks I've
| ever watched - Jim Carrey's commencement speech at the Maharishi
| International University of Management class:
| https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PYAk295MZZM
| daxfohl wrote:
| I dropped out of school and after a series of events, found
| myself living out of a broken-down car on the other side of the
| country with no money and two credit cards that I promptly cut
| up. I spent a couple weeks unemployed and then worked fast food
| until I had enough to afford a room in a shared house within
| walking distance to the restaurant. Showered in the local park
| every once in a while. Dumpster dove for food initially, at one
| point sucking down ketchup packets because I couldn't find
| anything else (protip: bakeries throw out enormous amounts of
| slightly stale but perfectly edible stuff). But working fast food
| is nice because at least you can grab some stray fries or
| something.
|
| Once you have shelter and you're committed to saving more than
| you spend (again, working in food industry is beneficial there
| because free food), you can start taking on more jobs and slowly
| work your way out.
|
| I also had decent coding skills at the time, but never got a job
| out of it. So don't put too much of your hopes on that. I got a
| couple responses from job ads, but never even got to the
| interview stage without a degree.
|
| Eventually (two years) I managed to get to the point where I
| could work and go to school at the same time (with the help of
| student aid), and subsequently got a degree and a real job. But
| the whole time it's all about minimizing expenses as much as
| possible.
|
| You mention inheritance. I recommend putting all that away in
| some investment and not touching it. Not because the investment
| is going to be worth a ton in the future, but because doing so
| will help build the financial discipline you'll need to get
| through these times.
|
| Ultimately, digging out rests on stability and savings more than
| anything else. Find a job with reasonably stable income (maybe
| uber is fine? it wasn't an option back when I did this), and save
| every penny that you can. Then you can start planning
| realistically for the future. The hardest part may be kids; I'm
| sure it's tempting to spend everything you have on them, and
| these days even the cost of gas to visit them may be more than
| you should be spending regularly. At least budget (strictly!) the
| number of miles you drive outside of work; that money adds up.
| But get a handle on your budget and spend less than you make.
| That's the only way out.
| ada1981 wrote:
| >> and building my own AI-assisted mental health tools (ChatGPT
| literally saved me) <<
|
| Come anytime to our AI Workshop & Playground as my VIP (you'll
| need to join via Zoom) and share your tools & journey. We have
| founders, developers, etc.
|
| http://earthpilot.ai/play
|
| Package up your mental health tools and start teaching folks how
| to do the same as you did.
|
| If you can get yourself a tow behind RV, you can drop it on
| Federal Land and only need to goto a new spot every 2-3 weeks.
|
| Luckily you are in a beautiful place for car camping.
|
| Also, can you work from a library?
| graycat wrote:
| Your area may have several services that can keep you from being
| homeless. There should be some social workers good at helping
| people with just your problems. E.g., they may have a shelter you
| can use overnight. For long term housing, they may have an area,
| not easy to see from the main streets, with a few dozen
| _manufactured /mobile_ houses with subsidized, low rents. They
| may have sources of food or money for food, maybe a free _food
| credit card_ , and Walmart, etc. have selected basic foods for
| such payment means. Your area may have some essentially free
| basic health care -- apparently there are some quiet Federal
| programs that funnel money to pay for such services. Where I am,
| an immigrant started doing yard work mowing grass. Soon he had a
| truck pulling a trailer with equipment and had hired a few
| people. Now he has a very nice truck, trailer, and equipment --
| big mower with 'sulky', leaf blowers, edge trimmers, etc., maybe
| > $150,000 in equipment. It looks like he is making good money,
| and he only works ~8 months a year. So, if could work for some
| such guy, could learn the details of his business and then start
| your own. Might help to read up a little on the _botany_ of care
| and feeding of grass, flowers, trees. Shockingly, there may be
| more money in a grass mowing business than can expect as an
| employee with a BS in computer science: Such a business has some
| advantages, e.g., geographical barrier to entry. Get paid for the
| work, yes, but also for reliability, _trust_ and generally
| pleasing the customers. Likely most of the candidate customers
| don 't know much about competitive rates. In such small
| businesses, references stand to mean a lot. And if your area has
| cold winters, maybe could keep busy moving ice and snow. Tires
| for a car? Not so long ago, some people waited until the threads
| started to show! And might be able to get used tires for much
| less. Maybe some people for a while don't have licenses and
| insurance up to date. Maybe "Taxes? What taxes? I don't need no
| stink'n taxes!" Good luck!
| theyknowitsxmas wrote:
| Shelter first. The cheapest land anywhere ideally with trees,
| building a structure out of sight, gathering materials with what
| money I got. There's books on concrete foundations in public
| libraries, frames, any topic... a water well and some veggies
| will meet my physiological needs.
| trod1234 wrote:
| You are in a tough spot.
|
| I would warn against AI-assisted mental health tools regardless
| of any advertised claims or promotions. AI is more likely to harm
| than it is to help for a number of reasons I won't get into here.
| It can create convincing lies where you are worse off later.
|
| If you want to do better, you will need to start networking with
| people that can help. There is no power as a lone wolf, members
| in a community people help each-other.
|
| On a personal level, you need stable working space, and living
| space. Mental health is tied to stable spaces, isolation and
| food/shelter security will drive you mad faster than anything
| else.
|
| You will only be as good as the working space you are currently
| in allows.
|
| > I drive Lyft/Uber full-time ... without these costs I can't
| work.
|
| You will need to properly project and evaluate whether this is
| sustainable. From what I've heard of Uber, I'm guessing it is
| not.
|
| You shouldn't be doing work and trading time that doesn't move
| you forward to a better place than you started at. There are
| predatory companies out there that will suck you dry and spit you
| out. There is an opportunity cost to being a wage slave.
|
| It sounds like you will need to figure out your expenses, and
| your average income for 40 hours including breaks at regular
| intervals (for health).
|
| If you can't make a sustainable profit factoring in seasonality,
| you can't do that work and must find something else.
|
| You should be including the required tax withholdings for
| business. Being a contractor must make sense. Net not gross for
| viability with at least a 20% profit margin for unexpected
| expense.
|
| I would not recommend Information Sciences to anyone at this
| stage. It is a pipe dream now. Those that have the experience
| already can leverage it, but those that don't, now is not the
| time and it will only get worse from here-on-out without
| providing marketable skills.
|
| Homesteading/farming might be an option though not one I'd
| recommend without a background/community that can help you with
| it.
|
| You should focus on practical skills like handyman type blue-
| collar trades. Plumbing, HVAC, Pools, Electricians, Welding,
| Steelwork, or Machining. It doesn't take long to learn, and
| doesn't require a lot of equipment (much of which you can get
| second hand very cheaply).
|
| Once you spend roughly 60% of your time doing the work part of
| whatever you choose (not the management), and bringing in a net
| profit, you should look at hiring your first hire as a business
| (without debt). Distributing labor is how we got to our current
| heights at a technological society.
|
| Most white-collar work will be fully disrupted by AI in the next
| 2-5 years blocking off the sequential career pipeline by
| replacing entry-level work in these fields with AI. Business
| monopoly through integration has made the decision to force a
| deflationary cycle as we approach the end of market-driven
| business in 2030 (business stops doing business when profit in
| purchasing power cannot be made, those tied to money-printing can
| continue long after business fails).
|
| Soon monopoly will have won so much that they force everyone
| (including themselves) to lose everything.
|
| 1 in 4 people are out of work right now, it will be much worse a
| few years from now because the economic cycle is reaching its
| inflection point (zenith) with liquidity drying up fast, followed
| by economic armageddon in 2030 (stage 3 ponzi; outflows/debt
| growth exceeds inflows. Kicking the can no longer works and these
| are the consequences of the last 100 years of economic and
| monetary policy.
|
| I don't know your location's job market but you will need to go
| where the jobs are, and those places are shrinking. A local
| economy that is contracting will leave fewer options unless you
| are near the bottom level of the producer market.
|
| The situation is not just you, the economy is and has been in the
| shitter, because of the Fed (boom bust cycle design, and the
| terminus from it to ECP/SCP chaos economically speaking).
| Shortages are prominent and sustaining. Famine driven by
| artificial supply constraint is likely to be next if history is
| any guide.
|
| You will need to find a community of people who are self-
| sufficient, and become self-sufficient yourself. Many such
| communities do not welcome outsiders because most people today do
| not contribute reciprocally and act parasitically.
|
| Before asking for help you should always offer help in something.
| This shows you are willing to work, above what lip service gives.
|
| Staying afloat is about having the skills to navigate life in any
| economy. Producing what you need from little to nothing.
|
| Many people have been robbed of this. The non-hollywood mythology
| of the American Dream is Self-sufficiency, Faith, Freedom,
| Independence and No taxation without representation. This is the
| True American Dream.
| quickslowdown wrote:
| I have a spare laptop I could ship, it's running Linux now and
| cannot "officially" run Win11. It's a little older, Lenovo X1
| Carbon with a chipped case & wonky touch bar for the Fn keys, but
| it works perfectly fine.
|
| If you're interested and want to drop a way to contact you, I'll
| figure out a way to ship it to you. Otherwise, as much as I
| loathe sending you to Facebook, the local "buy nothing" groups
| another commentor recommended sounds like a good place to start.
|
| Good luck!
| jasonjmcghee wrote:
| (to the top) take up this very generous person on the offer and
| start using their laptop. you've said in a number of threads
| using the desktop is the biggest hurdle - so use this laptop.
| uxcolumbo wrote:
| Hats off for winning the first battle. Winning back your mind.
| It's not easy.
|
| Freelance, as you said, might be a pragmatic next step. Sell your
| desktop PC to buy a laptop or get a cheap Thinkpad. Models from a
| few years ago are still perfectly good for programming. And then
| you could work from libraries.
|
| I don't know how the tech market is going to evolve, but if the
| junior to mid level market stays as it is or worse then it might
| be prudent to think about acquiring additional skills that can't
| be automated so easily, i.e. plumbing, electric etc. Something
| I'm considering.
|
| If you have a Gofundme - I'd be happy to contribute.
| mirnoc wrote:
| You need to trade in (or sell) your desktop for a dev-capable
| laptop my dude. You can't freelance tech using a desktop computer
| from your car, but you sure can from a laptop in a cafe, local
| library, church.. etc. You'll also need one anyway if you're
| going back to school.
| japhib wrote:
| Sorry to hear about your situation.
|
| Since you're in Utah, I'm going to suggest you find a bishop to
| ask for help. Even if you don't belong to the LDS church, I
| _think_ they might be able to help you out. Go to
| https://maps.churchofjesuschrist.org/ and find a church service
| to go to on a Sunday morning, and before/after the meeting, try
| to figure out who is the bishop/counselors and tell them your
| situation. It _may_ depend on who you get, in which case you can
| always try other wards /buildings/areas.
|
| Good luck!
| sp_c wrote:
| It's frustrating that we don't have social programs specifically
| designed to tackle situations like this. I get that solving
| homelessness isn't easy, but there are people who are capable and
| willing to get back on their feet... they just need the smallest
| boost! Why isn't there a tax-funded welfare system specifically
| for this?
| reactordev wrote:
| I've been there. I lost my marriage, my house, my money, my
| parents, my job, everything. Literally $100k in the hole with $0
| in the bank.
|
| Sounds like you know how to survive, which is perfect... here's
| what you do. Ditch uber/lyft and get your CDL. They'll pay you
| and train you and give you a job. Plus, you get a nice sleeper
| truck to sleep in that's more spacious than your car. (If you
| have the cash, an RV works instead)
|
| Take the income you make and pay off all your debts using the
| snowball method. If you don't have debts, use that money for
| classes/school/training to get back into the field you want to be
| in. 6 months to a year and you're back on your feet, apartment,
| furniture, money in your pocket, a future to look forward to.
|
| Stay strong.
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