[HN Gopher] The Night Watch (2013) [pdf]
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       The Night Watch (2013) [pdf]
        
       Author : mifydev
       Score  : 186 points
       Date   : 2025-03-12 21:12 UTC (1 days ago)
        
 (HTM) web link (www.usenix.org)
 (TXT) w3m dump (www.usenix.org)
        
       | mifydev wrote:
       | Years go by, but I always find myself getting back to this
       | article, it's just the true essence of systems programming.
        
         | bigstrat2003 wrote:
         | In 2020, my pandemic hobby project was learning to write a
         | kernel in Rust (instead of sourdough like everyone else).
         | Around that time, I read this essay for the first time. It was
         | one of the funniest things I had ever read, because it hit me
         | at the right time in my life to appreciate how true it was. An
         | absolute gem.
        
       | bitbasher wrote:
       | His talk at Monitorama was great-- one of the most entertaining
       | talks around!
        
       | listenfaster wrote:
       | This made me so happy. Too many good quotes.
        
       | dang wrote:
       | Related. Others?
       | 
       |  _The Night Watch [pdf] (2013)_ -
       | https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=42440496 - Dec 2024 (28
       | comments)
       | 
       |  _The Night Watch (2013) [pdf]_ -
       | https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=41219779 - Aug 2024 (1
       | comment)
       | 
       |  _The Night Watch (2013) [pdf]_ -
       | https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=34522845 - Jan 2023 (35
       | comments)
       | 
       |  _The Night Watch (2013) [pdf]_ -
       | https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=19289353 - March 2019 (10
       | comments)
       | 
       |  _The Night Watch (2013) [pdf]_ -
       | https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=16188538 - Jan 2018 (1
       | comment)
       | 
       |  _The Night Watch (2013) [pdf]_ -
       | https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=13954077 - March 2017 (33
       | comments)
       | 
       |  _The Night Watch [pdf]_ -
       | https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=12490689 - Sept 2016 (2
       | comments)
       | 
       |  _The Night Watch (2013) [pdf]_ -
       | https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=9671020 - June 2015 (21
       | comments)
       | 
       |  _The Night Watch_ - https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=6741804
       | - Nov 2013 (3 comments)
       | 
       |  _The Night Watch_ - https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=6735980
       | - Nov 2013 (3 comments)
        
         | mifydev wrote:
         | Oh, I didn't know it was posted as recently as December, I just
         | stumbled upon this again and assumed maybe not a lot of people
         | have seen this recently
        
           | bigiain wrote:
           | He's _such_ a great writer/speaker. It's totally worth
           | reposting him every 3 month.
           | 
           | I think this is my favourite piece of his, "This world of
           | ours":
           | 
           | https://www.usenix.org/system/files/1401_08-12_mickens.pdf
        
             | dcminter wrote:
             | I thinkbhe's a better writer than speaker, but I suspect if
             | I'd seen him speak first I'd have it the other way around.
             | 
             | I love all his Usenix articles and they always cheer me up
             | if I'm having a grumpy day at work.
        
               | bigiain wrote:
               | For me, acknowledging that:
               | 
               | "YOU'RE STILL GONNA BE MOSSAD'ED UPON"
               | 
               | is quite comforting at times.
               | 
               | When I'm doing security related thinking at work (or at
               | home), understanding that if a powerful nation state's
               | security forces become "interested" in what you're doing
               | means you've already lost, takes the pressure off
               | striving for perfection and trying to design systems that
               | are secure against "the global passive observer" who's
               | already NSL-ed your TLS cert provider and your cloud
               | host. I admire what Signal/WhisperSystems build, but the
               | project we're building at work that's topologically
               | equivalent to just another CRUD app can't afford and
               | doesn't need to be secured against the NSA or any of
               | their Fiveeyes henchmen.
        
           | bigfishrunning wrote:
           | This is the first time i've seen it, so you got one! thanks!
        
       | halifaxbeard wrote:
       | At the beginning of my career, I merely found it funny.
       | 
       | Now I find it relatable.
       | 
       | (don't install a signal handler in Python for SIGSEGV, especially
       | if it's being triggered by C you're calling)
        
       | xena wrote:
       | Honestly I hope to be able to write something like this at some
       | point in my career. This is the kind of satire that comes from
       | deep expertise, passion, and desire for the future generations to
       | not repeat the mistakes you have made. This is one of the best
       | articles of all time.
        
       | twp wrote:
       | This is, without doubt, the greatest sequence of words on
       | programming ever committed to magnetic storage.
        
       | NotYourLawyer wrote:
       | Mickens always cracks me up. His writing style is a little
       | overdone though.
        
         | itronitron wrote:
         | Yeah, I'm surprised and relieved that they haven't set off to
         | write their own OS.
        
           | dharmab wrote:
           | I think that's kind of what he did at MSFT, but now he's a
           | tenured professor at Harvard.
        
       | wffurr wrote:
       | His latest project is a heavy metal tribute album to himself by
       | himself, made on sabbatical:
       | https://mickens.seas.harvard.edu/wisdom-james-mickens
        
         | titanomachy wrote:
         | I'm inspired by this on so many levels. What a renaissance man.
         | 
         | > I warn you! This music is not for the faint of heart. Despite
         | my lack of sound mixing experience, vocal training, or general
         | common sense, I have created a poignant distillation of the
         | human condition.
        
         | maxwelljoslyn wrote:
         | Man, when I thought I couldn't like this dude any more for his
         | writing... What a fabulous drongo.
        
         | npodbielski wrote:
         | Nice! This is so cool even it sounds so bad! :D Would love to
         | have a beer with this guy.
        
       | jdougan wrote:
       | My hobby: asking LLMs to write essays "in the style of James
       | Mickens"
       | 
       | example:                   > Write a paragraph on spaghetti
       | carbonara the style of James Mickens.              > Ah,
       | carbonara. A dish of such deceptive simplicity, it's practically
       | a quantum singularity of culinary hubris. You think, "Eggs,
       | cheese, guanciale, pasta? Child's play!" But
       | 
       | <bunch of words deleted>                   > only reward is a
       | fleeting moment of eggy, peppery, salty bliss before the next
       | inevitable thermodynamic collapse.
        
         | kurisufag wrote:
         | bleh. i don't mind in principle having robots do art and
         | writing for us, but their chronic inability to be properly
         | cynical stains everything they produce. it's all "big bang
         | theory" flavored, for lack of a better phrase.
        
           | HeliumHydride wrote:
           | The obvious solution is to create a robot capable of feeling
           | pain and dread.
        
             | tsukikage wrote:
             | ...give it terribly painful diodes down its left side.
        
               | lproven wrote:
               | You beat me to it!
        
             | volkadav wrote:
             | Perhaps those are an essential ingredient for a full
             | consciousness or experience of what we've agreed by
             | consensus to call reality, but the parental part of me
             | holds on desperately to the hope that if we create anew,
             | those we create might have a better experience with _vague
             | gesture at everything_ than us. :)
        
       | fergie wrote:
       | "if you find yourself drinking a martini and writing programs in
       | garbage-collected, object-oriented Esperanto, be aware that the
       | only reason that the Esperanto runtime works is because there are
       | systems people who have exchanged any hope of losing their
       | virginity for the exciting opportunity to think about hex numbers
       | and their relationships with the operating system, the hardware,
       | and ancient blood rituals that Bjarne Stroustrup performed at
       | Stonehenge"
       | 
       | So true, so funny.
       | 
       | Also, this article subtly conveys the experience of being a
       | working class immigrant at a top academic institution (something
       | that I relate hard to)
        
       | RustyRussell wrote:
       | I actually laughed out loud. But my wife would not understand...
        
       | reportgunner wrote:
       | From the headline I thought this was going to be about night
       | watch the book[0] (I have only seen the movies)
       | 
       | [0] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Night_Watch_(Lukyanenko_novel)
        
         | jonathanlydall wrote:
         | I don't recall much about the movie, except that I enjoyed it
         | at the time, but I was wondering if the title had a
         | relationship to a different book[0].
         | 
         | [0]: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Night_Watch_(Discworld)
        
           | Applejinx wrote:
           | And I was wondering about the painting[0] that inspired the
           | King Crimson song...
           | 
           | [0]: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Night_Watch
        
             | mdiesel wrote:
             | And I was wondering if it was in reference to the Night's
             | Watch of Westeros, who fittingly take a vow of celibacy and
             | dedicate their lives to dealing with problems the Southern
             | quiche-eaters don't understand or even believe exist.
             | 
             | [0]: https://awoiaf.westeros.org/index.php/Night%27s_Watch
        
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       (page generated 2025-03-13 23:02 UTC)