[HN Gopher] Can you lose your native tongue? (2024)
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       Can you lose your native tongue? (2024)
        
       Author : Thevet
       Score  : 95 points
       Date   : 2025-02-18 18:34 UTC (4 days ago)
        
 (HTM) web link (www.nytimes.com)
 (TXT) w3m dump (www.nytimes.com)
        
       | abctx wrote:
       | https://archive.ph/EQjeG
        
         | croisillon wrote:
         | thanks but somehow the first paragraph doesn't show up properly
         | on my end                 It happened the first time over
         | dinner. I was saying something to my husband, who grew up in
         | Paris where we live, and suddenly couldn't get the word out.
         | The culprit was the "r." For the previous few months, I had
         | been trying to perfect the French "r." My failure to do so was
         | the last marker of my Americanness, and I could only do it if I
         | concentrated, moving the sound backward in my mouth and
         | exhaling at the same time. Now I was saying something in
         | English -- "reheat" or "rehash" -- and the "r" was refusing to
         | come forward. The word felt like a piece of dough stuck in my
         | throat.
        
       | yawnxyz wrote:
       | I grew up in Stockholm / grew up speaking Swedish. Haven't spoken
       | Swedish unless I'm at IKEA (for some reason Swedes flock
       | there?!), which doesn't happen very often.
       | 
       | I can still read/understand but it's hard to remember words
        
       | nosianu wrote:
       | I remember reading about a German woman who after the end of WWII
       | married one of the American soldiers and moved to the US with
       | him. She then never needed to use German again until she was
       | quite old. She barely spoke any German by that time. I think she
       | was interviewed by a German journalist - that's why I ended up
       | reading about it.
        
         | echelon wrote:
         | Do you remember where you read this? That's a fascinating
         | anecdote.
        
           | nosianu wrote:
           | I'm almost sure this was pre-Internet and paper. Asking
           | Google is useless, I only get general pages about German "war
           | brides". I'm trying to ask ChatGPT but right now it seems to
           | hang while loading. I thought about asking DeepSeek, but I
           | don't want to create a login (the ChatGPT site does not
           | require one).
           | 
           | EDIT: ChatGPT actually loaded. I used the first paragraph of
           | my comment as query. It did not give me a specific story, but
           | it claims it "knows" about the phenomenon of German war
           | brides forgetting much of their German, when they did not use
           | it much after moving. Too bad I can't tell what the sources
           | are for that information, ChatGPT saying something isn't
           | proof.
        
         | sfRattan wrote:
         | There were large swathes of Americans in those generations who
         | stopped using German publicly because of World Wars One and
         | Two. German was at the time the second most commonly spoken
         | language at home in America. You still see vestiges of it in
         | recorded data about ancestry [1].
         | 
         | I suspect many among them would've largely forgotten a
         | functional knowledge of German by the ends of their lives, even
         | though it was their mother tongue and kitchen table language
         | growing up.
         | 
         | [1]:
         | https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/American_ancestry#/media/Fil...
        
           | detourdog wrote:
           | In the heart of Pennsylvania Dutch Country was a town that
           | Bismark that changed its name to Quentin after Quentin
           | Roosevelt died in the Great War (WW I).
           | 
           | https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quentin,_Pennsylvania
        
       | kps wrote:
       | Anecdata... my first language was German, which I can no longer
       | speak (and never learned to read).
        
         | antithesis-nl wrote:
         | That's interesting, because for me, being able to read a
         | language comes first, then being able to understand it being
         | spoken, then speaking it in some (but definitely not all)
         | contexts.
         | 
         | So, you spoke German at some point, but these days, you could
         | not decipher a restaurant menu or ticket-vending machine? Not
         | meant disparagingly, just truly curious...
        
           | tuukkah wrote:
           | Typically, children first learn to talk (although it can be a
           | sign language) and only later to read and write.
        
           | selimthegrim wrote:
           | If they grew up born to German parents in a foreign
           | country...
        
           | Aachen wrote:
           | The person you're responding to must have meant as a child,
           | but I can also provide an adult anecdote: I could understand
           | spoken German sooner than written because I, well, never read
           | the language (can't understand it anyway) but was listening
           | to conversation at the dinner table of German family and so
           | picked it up that way
           | 
           | I know someone who learned to understand German spoken on TV
           | and would sometimes speak it themselves (on day trips across
           | the border primarily I imagine), so they've got a good
           | intuition for e.g. word gender (that their native language
           | doesn't have) but they can write most words only phonetically
           | and don't know the grammar. Thankfully German orthography is
           | not like English', but it's also not a 1:1 map (cheese isn't
           | kese; name arbitrarily has no h)
        
           | kps wrote:
           | My parents spoke German when I was a baby, but switched fully
           | to English when I could walk so that I would fit in with
           | other neighbourhood children. I learned to read in English.
           | 
           | I can still understand sufficiently simple spoken German and
           | _decipher_ some written German. You could say I read it at
           | the level of the two-year-old I was.
        
       | Swoerds wrote:
       | I visited my mom's uncle when I backpacked in Australia, he moved
       | there from the Netherlands at a young age. He could still speak a
       | few words, but definitely wouldn't be able to hold a full
       | conversation in Dutch.
       | 
       | I'm Natively Dutch myself but live in Denmark, and sometimes also
       | struggle to find the correct Dutch words when talking to my
       | friends. Not that my Danish great, my partner isn't Danish and
       | since I work at an international company, the default language is
       | English.
        
       | dzuc wrote:
       | An excellent book on this:
       | https://www.zonebooks.org/books/43-echolalias-on-the-forgett...
        
       | markus92 wrote:
       | Languages need a lot of upkeep if you want to keep speaking them
       | fluently. On the other hand, just like muscle, once you've had it
       | it's a lot easier to get back than having to put it on for the
       | first time.
        
         | MandieD wrote:
         | My husband's mother, a German who spent a few semesters in
         | Britain in the late 50s and subsequently taught English and
         | geography in gymnasium (German academic track middle and high
         | school), taught him and few other neighborhood children some
         | English during her maternity year after his younger sister was
         | born. He was 4. She then went back to work, he went into
         | regular German Kindergarten (preschool), and the whole matter
         | was forgotten.
         | 
         | Until he was 10 and started classroom English in 5th grade - he
         | had a very easy time of it. That year of getting English sounds
         | into his little kid brain, despite coming from a non-native
         | speaker who had only spent a few semesters in England, did some
         | sort of magic, because ever since I've known him, he's sounded
         | British enough to fool Americans (British people, on the other
         | hand, can hear that something's off, and of course can't place
         | his accent). He's a more fluent English speaker than I am a
         | German speaker, but we both have to speak more English at our
         | jobs than German.
        
       | MandieD wrote:
       | I've lived in Germany for twenty years, and despite speaking what
       | I would consider a merely adequate and certainly not native level
       | of German, I've noticed that there's something a bit off about
       | how I speak English. It's glaringly apparent when I'm back in
       | Texas. Like the author, I make some strange word choices that are
       | almost like direct translations from German, and it's had an
       | effect on my grammar, too.
       | 
       | We're raising our kid to be bilingual (my husband is German), but
       | I wonder how truly "native" my kid's English will be with me as
       | his main source of it.
        
         | rednafi wrote:
         | Sports machen?
        
         | aaplok wrote:
         | > I wonder how truly "native" my kid's English will be with me
         | as his main source of it.
         | 
         | My experience is that it gets hard when they realise that they
         | can get away with only German. Many kids choose to only use the
         | "primary" language, even when spoken in the secondary one. They
         | eventually regret that choice when they get to their twenties.
         | 
         | Not all kids do that though. I am not sure what influences
         | this, but as a parent of trilingual children, my recommendation
         | is to expose them to the culture as much as you can. Talk to
         | family online, take them to English speaking places and
         | countries, watch movies. In other words, make speaking English
         | useful to them. If your family in the US have older kids, yours
         | might end up looking up to them - mine have an older cousin who
         | is one of their favourite members of the family and definitely
         | gives motivation to communicate. Also, be more stubborn than
         | them if they try to only speak German.
         | 
         | Sorry if this comes across as unsolicited advice. Nothing I
         | said is revolutionary and you might already have thought it
         | through. We got very lucky with ours, but this is stuff I would
         | have benefitted from when our kids were young, so I'm passing
         | it on.
        
           | MandieD wrote:
           | Not at all - I appreciate it!
        
           | seszett wrote:
           | > _Also, be more stubborn than them if they try to only speak
           | German._
           | 
           | I think that's the main thing. I have been very stubborn in
           | "not understanding" the other (local) language with my
           | children, even if it's obvious to them I do understand it.
           | Today (they are still young) they speak both languages,
           | including between themselves, and they don't seem to have a
           | preference for one language over the other.
        
         | stevoski wrote:
         | "Are you coming with?"
         | 
         | After a few years living in Germany (as a native English
         | speaker), my English and that of my friends became peppered
         | with these German-isms.
        
           | bradrn wrote:
           | I say this as a native English speaker... but I speak South
           | African English (or something similar), and I've heard that
           | this expression is due to Afrikaans influence!
        
             | stavros wrote:
             | That's probably because Afrikaans is Dutch, and Dutch is
             | German.
        
               | bradrn wrote:
               | Well, 'is' isn't quite the right word... but they're all
               | closely related languages, yes, which is why I mentioned
               | it.
        
               | stavros wrote:
               | Yep, I was being liberal with "is" there, but hopefully
               | the point came across.
        
               | jessekv wrote:
               | Dutch is German, and English is French.
        
               | stavros wrote:
               | English is French and German.
        
               | jessekv wrote:
               | And therefore, Dutch is English :D
        
               | stavros wrote:
               | No, English and Dutch are distant cousins.
        
               | yapyap wrote:
               | Afrikaans is Dutch yes, Dutch is not German.
               | 
               | Learn your languages before spreading unwise nonsense on
               | the internet.
        
               | carlmr wrote:
               | Not OP here. You're right, but you could be more
               | charitable in your reading of the previous comment. While
               | it's wrong at the micro level it's not even nonsense on
               | the macro level. Dutch and German are at the very least
               | very related. They share a lot of constructs and words.
               | 
               | There's no reason to be so disrespectful.
        
           | eps wrote:
           | Similarly "I've been here since two days" is usually a
           | giveaway that somebody's translating from French.
        
             | stavros wrote:
             | Isn't German the same? "Ich bin schon seit zwei Tagen
             | hier".
        
             | raphael_l wrote:
             | It's actually also indicative of German! (and I would
             | assume a few other languages?)
             | 
             | "Ich bin seit zwei Tagen hier."
        
               | OJFord wrote:
               | Hindi too, main do din se yahan hun.
               | 
               | I wouldn't be surprised if it were _most_ languages
               | really, English  'for' seems the weirder construction.
        
               | ninalanyon wrote:
               | You could use it in English too so long as you add 'ago'
               | on the end. "Since two days" makes no sense in English
               | because "since" refers to a point in time not a duration.
        
               | OJFord wrote:
               | That still doesn't sound natural to me. You could answer
               | 'since when' with 'two days ago', but declaring it as a
               | statement I'd say 'for the last two days' or 'since the
               | day before yesterday'.
               | 
               | You could get away with it in speech since it sounds like
               | 'since.. [thinking] two days ago' and it's acceptable to
               | change construction like that in casual speech, but
               | written it doesn't seem right to me.
        
               | selimthegrim wrote:
               | Could also be do din tak but that implies you're about to
               | take off
        
               | dizhn wrote:
               | Do you notice an increase in this usage lately? I see it
               | a lot on reddit and hn. All romance languages probably
               | have it by the way. I know Italian does for sure.
        
           | yurishimo wrote:
           | I said this long before I moved out of the US. I live in NL
           | now. I wish I could tell you where it came from. Probably
           | from my stepfather who was raised in a rural Texas area that
           | probably had some old Germanic roots.
        
           | OJFord wrote:
           | That sounds perfectly British English to me, to the extent
           | that I thought your point was going to be it was something
           | German had stamped out of you.
           | 
           | Interestingly, I'm not sure if it's nationwide, or a local
           | dialect (Dorset/West country) thing - interesting because
           | there's a lot of German/Saxonism retained in the dialect,
           | usually about word choice or spelling though, not phrases. As
           | far as I'm aware anyway, not an expert.
           | 
           | (For example we tend to prefer the -t ending of -ed verbs:
           | 'burnt' not 'burned' etc. including in stronger cases words
           | like 'turnt' ('turned' in any usage, not the modern slang for
           | drunk) that Wiktionary etc. will tell you are obsolete.)
        
         | shermantanktop wrote:
         | I grew up in a many-lingual house and really only know English,
         | though I am trying to finally learn proper German.
         | 
         | But my word choices and pronunciations are definitely not 100%
         | native. There are moments where I can feel the vtable pointing
         | me to the wrong language for a word. Sometimes I get back to
         | English, sometimes I pause, and sometimes a word from some
         | other language pops out.
         | 
         | As an example I sometimes say "no thank you" in Swedish in
         | situations where that is wildly wrong. I can't speak Swedish,
         | but I have those basic phrases in there.
        
         | pjmlp wrote:
         | Similar timeframe in Germany, not only did my English got
         | worse, even though I have more years of speaking English (since
         | the age of 10), I also occasionally miss some Portuguese words,
         | my native tongue.
         | 
         | Thankfully hearing it regularly keeps me up to date, though
         | there are those moments where right in the middle of a
         | conversation I have to stop and reflect on how exactly
         | something is named.
        
         | lqet wrote:
         | Lately I noticed that I cannot even speak my native German
         | dialect as easily as when I was a teenager (I moved away from
         | home to university when I was 20). I often hesitate because I
         | am not sure whether some word I said was correct in my native
         | dialect, or the local dialect where I live now, or the dialect
         | of my wife (Swiss German). At home, we speak a wild mixture of
         | 3 different dialects and standard German. Our 5-year-old mainly
         | speaks standard German because that's what they speak at
         | kindergarten (most of the teachers don't speak the dialect, and
         | there is a significant number of French, Italian, Ukrainian,
         | and Syrian kids for which learning the dialect would be even
         | harder). At work, I speak a mixture of English and standard
         | German.
         | 
         | After living in Germany for nearly 10 years, but working in
         | Switzerland, my wife recently had an identity crisis because a
         | Swiss colleague thought she was German, and had just learned
         | Swiss German very well.
        
         | FlyingSnake wrote:
         | I have the same experience as well. After living in Germany for
         | 12+ years, my English sometimes has this weird mix of English
         | words and German grammar.
         | 
         | My daughter however speaks fluent English and German so I don't
         | think they'll have the same problems.
        
           | gizajob wrote:
           | If English had German grammar :
           | https://youtu.be/50jkO2s4Sp0?si=fvPfoJW9WKG51IL-
        
         | impossiblefork wrote:
         | Some youths in Sweden are doing this in Swedish, being unable
         | to properly communicate in their native language. Their English
         | is usually not that great either though.
         | 
         | Some are foreigners, others are extreme nerds who have failed
         | to interact with people and have lived on the internet.
         | 
         | It's really sad.
        
           | kzrdude wrote:
           | Learning language is a lifelong journey, I'm convinced we
           | continue to master our native language as well as we age.
           | Maybe more so if we care and pay attention to it. So I hope
           | there is still hope for some of the youth..
           | 
           | And I would add that I think becoming more than proficient in
           | and deepening understanding of one's own language (Swedish in
           | that case) is important, in parallel with learning foreign
           | languages.
        
         | Obscurity4340 wrote:
         | After I read anything German, i cant stop myself from
         | pronouncing all the s's as z's for a few days
        
         | jwarden wrote:
         | I am also raising a bilingual 3-year-old in Spain. I speak to
         | him only in English. But i have recently read The Nurture
         | Assumption by Judith Rich Harris, which argues convincingly
         | that his English _will_ be limited in certain important ways
         | unless he also has a native English-speaking peer group.
        
         | wheels wrote:
         | I'm also a Texan in Germany, and my German's good enough that
         | it often takes people a few minutes to notice I'm not a native
         | speaker. (Left the US at 21, am now 44.) I definitely also have
         | a lot of German artifacts in my spoken English at this point.
         | At one point I was given the attempted compliment of, "Wow,
         | your English is really good" - because I apparently _almost_
         | sound like a native speaker. ;-)
         | 
         | My children are 6 and 9 and we've raised them tri-lingual. They
         | mostly _sound_ native in all three, but their Serbo-Croatian
         | and English have some German artifacts as well. Also their
         | vocabulary isn 't quite at the age-appropriate level in English
         | since I'm basically the only person they regularly use it with,
         | and if I don't use a word with them, they probably don't know
         | it. This may start to change now that my oldest has also begun
         | reading books in English. (That went surprisingly quickly; once
         | he started with English classes in the third grade, within 3-6
         | months, he no longer had a definite preference for books in
         | German over English.)
         | 
         | The trap to be careful of is if your family language is German
         | that the kids eventually stop answering in their parent's
         | language. This seems to be easier when three distinct languages
         | are in play, possibly. Since I speak English with their mom
         | (Serbian), there's less pull towards the "outside" language
         | (German). Oddly, the language the speak with each other has
         | remained Serbo-Croatian. I'd always expected that to eventually
         | change to German, but seems unlikely at their current ages. We
         | mostly attribute this to them having sometimes spent several
         | weeks alone with their grandparents in Serbia when they were
         | young, and that being the only time they only spoke a single
         | language for up to a month, and that having solidified it as
         | their preferred language.
        
         | joseda-hg wrote:
         | I wouldn't worry too much about it, English is prevalent and
         | useful enough that as long as gets to a reasonable level early
         | enough, he should be able to pick stuff that separate him from
         | your specific manerisms
         | 
         | Tangentially related, I see more and more kids developing a "TV
         | Accent" in Spanish in their early years which eventually gets
         | replaced with their local one I'm guessing based on their
         | exposure to parents and media vs School/Parents/Every day life
        
       | munchbunny wrote:
       | Yes, you can (I submit myself as the example), but I'm not sure
       | that the article/author is talking about _fluency_. Anecdotally,
       | I lost fluency in my native tongue during my teens, though I don
       | 't carry a non-native accent when I do speak it.
       | 
       | However, I speak/read/write in what is technically my second
       | language (English) as if it were my first language.
        
         | riwsky wrote:
         | as if it _were_
        
           | munchbunny wrote:
           | Ha. Got me.
        
           | przemub wrote:
           | past subjunctive, bit** :)
        
           | munchler wrote:
           | Heck, I'm an English-only speaker, and I still get were/was
           | wrong all the time. Honestly, I have no idea what the rule is
           | there. They both sound correct-ish to me.
        
             | munchbunny wrote:
             | In this structure, "were" is used in cases where you are
             | entertaining a hypothetical, and "was" is for something
             | that was true.
             | 
             | English grammar is often confusing in cases like this
             | because verbs mostly don't have distinct
             | spellings/pronunciations for the subjunctive mood, even
             | though the subjunctive conjugations are part of the
             | grammar.
             | 
             | It also doesn't help that "subjunctive" is kind of the
             | "else" condition among the three verb moods, the other two
             | being "indicative" and "imperative," so you often notice
             | that it's the subjunctive by ruling out the other two.
        
               | gausswho wrote:
               | As a native US english speaker, this was fascinating to
               | read and uncover my unknown learnings. You are not
               | incorrect, but I would make a big caveat: 'as if it were'
               | or 'as if it was' can, depending on context, sound
               | foreign, in a transliterated way. Many native speakers, I
               | think, expect some other phrasing to express the same
               | meaning. Often through helpful ambiguators like 'like'.
        
               | ninalanyon wrote:
               | The subjunctive is almost dead in colloquial British
               | English.
        
           | caffro wrote:
           | https://www.thoughtco.com/irrealis-were-
           | grammar-1691045#:~:t...
        
         | hn_acc1 wrote:
         | Same here. I left my native country (family chose to move) when
         | I was 8. By 12 or 13 I was probably more fluent in English than
         | the original, although I continued to read, etc. I can still
         | read, think a bit, help my family with duo lingo, but fluency
         | would be a stretch so many years later. However, I have no
         | doubt that if I moved back home, I could pick a fair amount up
         | again in a few months. But I would probably forever be "teenage
         | slang" non-fluent, as well as missing out on common idioms,
         | etc.
         | 
         | My father left his birthplace when he was 4 or 5, and only
         | knows a few words of his first language.
        
       | kshacker wrote:
       | I lived in a Hindi speaking area for my first 23 years. Then I
       | lived in a cosmopolitan area for 5 years. And then I lived in US
       | for 14 years predominantly speaking english.
       | 
       | At that point, I moved back to India. And I had to converse with
       | a telephone company call center, even though I selected English
       | as my language in the phone tree, they repeatedly put me to Hindi
       | speaking ones - I just could not converse with them. I tried. I
       | could absolutely understand them, but I could just not speak
       | hindi. The words or rather the sentences will not form.
       | 
       | Not any more. I think now I am truly bi/trilingual, but there was
       | that day / week / month / year, when I had lost the ability to
       | speak in Hindi. Not sure why, and it was not a one time event.
       | 
       | [ The only additional information that may be relevant : In
       | between these years, I learned a semester of Russian. I learnt
       | french. I got familiar with a multitude of south Indian languages
       | - Tamil, Kannada, Telugu, Malayalam hearing friends speak them on
       | a regular basis. And I was also conversant with Punjabi, common
       | in our region in north india. But I never spoke any of these in
       | day to day life for 14 years. And all these languages blurred
       | into each other when I really had to use something other than
       | English. ]
       | 
       | [ Also, I had a reason to switch to English pretty much
       | exclusively. My son has learning disability and would find it
       | hard in school as he will speak in Hindi and teachers would not
       | understand. This is a long time back. So I decided not to confuse
       | him and switched to english exclusively and lived like that for
       | about a dozen years before this telephone company incident
       | happened. I have posted about him before, this is not new:
       | https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=28665942 ]
        
         | qwerty456127 wrote:
         | Wow. English+Hindi+French+Russian+Tamil+.... So cool. You
         | should probably add some Arabic, some Chinese, some Xhosa, some
         | Gaelic and some native American languages to this list to
         | appear endlessly awesome :-)
        
           | kshacker wrote:
           | I can not speak most of them. But having friends speak them
           | for years makes you start catching the words, phrases,
           | sentences and even the context though not equally well, not
           | all the time, and not the same for each language - this is
           | for the South Indian languages. I did formally study French
           | and Russian (1 semester). And lol, I took Russian when the
           | USSR still existed :) Those were the days.
           | 
           | Edit - I think I am done. I want to learn Spanish since it
           | will be useful locally, but my brain can not take any more
           | confusion. When you do not use these regularly, but have a
           | faint notion of many many words, the brain does get confused
           | on a regular basis. And I was not trying to brag, expressing
           | helplessness.
        
           | ratg13 wrote:
           | I speak a few languages, and find myself losing the grip on
           | the native one.
           | 
           | People I know that know more languages than me seem to be
           | worse at all of them.. and by worse I mean they can hold a
           | fluent conversation, but have extremely poor spelling and
           | grammar.
        
           | ehnto wrote:
           | I have noticed it with a lot of Indian people I know, an
           | aptitude for language. My understanding is that many learn
           | Hindi, their home tongue, and english at school.
           | 
           | Of course I only have exposure to my indian friends who moved
           | to Australia for work, so they're biased towards people who
           | went through university and learned English in school.
        
             | Arnavion wrote:
             | Yes, a lot of Indians that emigrate to foreign countries
             | will have gone to schools where classes are taught in
             | English, except for the local language class that is taught
             | in that language. There are so-called "English medium"
             | schools ("medium" as in the method of conveyance of
             | knowledge in this case). There are also schools that are
             | $local_language medium, but they were generally for poor
             | people / lower social classes.
        
             | d1sxeyes wrote:
             | Only around 40% of Indians speak Hindi at home. Many
             | Indians don't speak Hindi at all. But a lot of Indians will
             | learn Hindi and English in addition to what they speak at
             | home.
        
         | uwehn wrote:
         | I grew up in Romania. Spoke German at home, it was my
         | Muttersprache (German minority in Romania). Went to a German
         | school, but learned Romanian in K-12 there, spoke it fluently.
         | Left Romania when I was 18. I can still understand most when I
         | listen (I can watch Romanian movies not dubbed). I can read it
         | and understand most of what I read. But I cannot form sentences
         | anymore, cannot speak it for the life of me. Pretty strange. I
         | guess it needs effort to revive it in one's brain.
        
           | blindseeker wrote:
           | Same here! Just that my family emigrated when I was 5 years
           | old, plus my Romanian native mother passed when I was 14.
           | this was some 25 years ago. Now, I do understand Romanian
           | media, but can't speak past a simple ,,Buna ziua, ce mai
           | faci".
           | 
           | Interestingly, some 18 years ago I went to intern in Mexico.
           | After 6 months there, I was quite fluent in Spanish. But when
           | I wanted to think of a Romanian word, all that popped up was
           | Spanish. Pretty wild how the brain works.
           | 
           | (Romanian, Spanish, French, Italian, ... are all Latin
           | influenced languages, btw.)
        
             | wjholden wrote:
             | I learned a little Spanish growing up in the USA.
             | 
             | As I learned French as an adult, when I didn't know a
             | French word, the Spanish word would often come to me.
             | 
             | Now I'm learning German, and often the French word comes to
             | me when I don't know a German word. However, I've also
             | struggled to speak French again because the German often
             | comes to my head first.
             | 
             | It has been amusing to observe that one doesn't learn a
             | third language as a strict subset of the second. For
             | example, I know a lot more French than German, but I know
             | the German "Tierarzt" (veterinarian) but not the French
             | equivalent.
        
         | godot wrote:
         | I feel languages and cultures also gradually change over time
         | and over a couple of decades it can be fairly different when
         | you've been disconnected from it.
         | 
         | I was born in Hong Kong and lived there for 13 years, moved to
         | the US and I'm now 40+. I was back in HK last year and although
         | didn't have problems understanding people in Cantonese for the
         | most part, there were situations like calling a restaurant (to
         | make a reservation) where I absolutely could not understand the
         | waitstaff's Cantonese. After 30 years I still consider myself
         | more fluent in Cantonese than English but language and culture
         | had evolved in HK so much that the way younger people talk,
         | especially on the phone where it's harder to hear, is almost
         | completely foreign to me at this point.
        
           | komadori wrote:
           | That is true of all languages, but I think that Cantonese has
           | a particularly high change velocity in terms of vocabulary
           | and pronunciation compared to, say, English.
           | 
           | I think this is because Cantonese speakers tend to read and
           | write in Modern Standard Chinese (more like written Mandarin)
           | and so are much less anchored by the permanence of text.
           | Additionally, Chinese characters provide even less guidance
           | on pronunciation than English spelling. In this landscape,
           | Hong Kong's small media ecosystem is a fertile breeding
           | ground for new language.
        
           | acomjean wrote:
           | I know a guy whose mother came from italy to the US when she
           | was young. He went back some Family over there. He was told
           | "you speak Italian well, but you sound like my grandmother"
        
             | kgdiem wrote:
             | Same thing happens in the US too --- at least in the north
             | east. If you go to New York, northern New Jersey, Boston or
             | even Chicago, people in their 40s and younger don't often
             | sound like their parents; there's little to no accent.
             | 
             | I work with a younger guy from the south and he definitely
             | has an accent but that could be an anomaly.
        
         | cyberax wrote:
         | Perhaps it's language dependent? My Indian colleagues mostly
         | speak English with each other, even if they have a common
         | native language.
         | 
         | On the other hand, Chinese people speak Mandarin with each
         | other when there are no English speakers in the group. It was
         | partly why I learned Mandarin...
        
           | d1sxeyes wrote:
           | English often is the common native language between Indians
           | if you have people from different parts in India.
        
         | Arnavion wrote:
         | I'm the same. Spoke Hindi in India for the first 17 years of my
         | life, and then the next 15+ I've lived in foreign countries and
         | barely talked to anyone in Hindi, just English. I can still
         | understand Hindi movie clips on Youtube, but reading Hindi
         | articles on Wikipedia is hard when I try occasionally (I have
         | to read out aloud and then listen), and forming sentences is
         | extremely difficult because I just cannot remember most of the
         | words. My brain keeps bringing up English words, and Japanese
         | words because I spent a lot of time listening to Japanese,
         | instead of Hindi words. It's the same feeling as "the word is
         | on the tip of my tongue" where you keep remembering other words
         | instead of the one you're looking for.
        
         | johnisgood wrote:
         | > The words or rather the sentences will not form.
         | 
         | I had the same problem after having speaking in English for a
         | long time and rarely any Hungarian. I had issues finding the
         | right words.
        
       | jmclnx wrote:
       | Yes you can. I know a few people who did. They came over to the
       | US as teenagers and their parents refused to speak their
       | language. So as the aged, they forgot more and more.
        
       | delduca wrote:
       | Coincidentally, I was watching an interview today with someone
       | from my country. This person lived for decades in a country where
       | English is spoken, and several times when they pronounced a word
       | from here, it came with an English accent.
        
       | antithesis-nl wrote:
       | From personal anecdata, I can assure you it's entirely possible
       | to 'lose' a language ability. Native tongue? Not so sure, but a
       | closely-related one, definitely!
       | 
       | I'm a native Dutch speaker and used to be relatively fluent in
       | German (which is not a given: despite being close neighbors, the
       | languages are _very_ different). Then, I lived in Cape Town for a
       | while, and had to learn some Afrikaans (also closely related to
       | Dutch, but yet widely dissimilar).
       | 
       | This somehow 'erased' my ability to speak German! Only after
       | moving back to Europe and after many years, I was able to do
       | basic stuff like ordering in restaurants in German again.
       | 
       | TL;DR: the human brain is, like, weird, man...
        
         | billforsternz wrote:
         | I knew a guy back in the day who grew up in the Netherlands and
         | then South Africa. And somehow the Afrikaans messed up his
         | Dutch, and he basically didn't have a native language. His
         | English was rough as well, I felt sorry for him despite being
         | completely monolingual myself.
        
       | jaimebuelta wrote:
       | Something strange. I (Spanish speaker having lived in an English
       | speaking country for 15 years) still struggle with maths. It's
       | really difficult to understand numbers that are relatively high
       | (hundreds and thousands) unless I can see them written.
       | 
       | And making calculation is almost impossible. I need to switch to
       | Spanish and then translate it back
        
         | missedthecue wrote:
         | I was just talking about this exact thing with a friend. Spoken
         | English in everyday and professional settings is fluent but
         | when it comes to math, we have to think the numbers in Spanish.
        
       | exe34 wrote:
       | my favourite anecdote about languages was when I went to see
       | Salman Rushdie talk. His accent was perfectly north American
       | while he spoke about contemporary things, but when he spoke about
       | his childhood in India, he started speaking with a slight Indian
       | accent.
       | 
       | I think the memories are encoded in terms of the thoughts of the
       | time, so when they are revisited, they reactivate the same speech
       | patterns.
        
         | kreyenborgi wrote:
         | I know people who speak in a more central dialect when they
         | speak of work, and their childhood dialect when they speak of
         | family, hobbies
        
       | rednafi wrote:
       | Yes. My native tongue is Bengali--the 7th most spoken language in
       | the world.
       | 
       | I learned English at school and later started working remotely in
       | places where English was obviously the primary language. Then I
       | moved to the US and spoke Bengali only at home.
       | 
       | The final nail in the coffin was when I moved again to Berlin,
       | Germany, and started picking up a little German just to get by.
       | Now I speak English at work, Bengali at home, and a tiny bit of
       | German. These days, my Bengali is a horrible hodgepodge of
       | English and Bengali words strung together by alien conjunctions
       | and interjections.
        
         | FlyingSnake wrote:
         | People from the subcontinent have this weird habit of adding
         | English words randomly in their conversations. Sentences in
         | Hindi/Bangla/Tamil etc and then straight up English words, and
         | then switch back.
         | 
         | Haven't seen anyone else do that.
        
           | StrauXX wrote:
           | Do you mean Anglicisms? Those are very common in many
           | languages nowadays. Especially those in the west. Youth
           | language in the German speaking areas of Europe is around one
           | fourth English words.
        
             | FlyingSnake wrote:
             | Yes, I've seen kids in Berlin do that as well, but this is
             | not a recent phenomenon for Indians. I've observed it for
             | more than 15 years now
        
           | inkyoto wrote:
           | It is called <<code switching>>, and it is also very common
           | amongst Hongkongers and Singaporeans.
        
           | rednafi wrote:
           | Gen Z Spanish speakers do this all the time.
        
           | somenameforme wrote:
           | There was an interview with Gukesh Dommaraju after he won the
           | chess world championship, and the interviewer from India
           | asked him to respond in his native tongue which, so far as I
           | understand it is Tamil. It was very odd listening to it when
           | I could understand about 30% of the words!
        
           | myflash13 wrote:
           | Germans do that all the time. See Berlinglish. So do
           | Ukrainians, although less often.
        
       | graeme wrote:
       | Absolutely. Have met multiple people who could not speak their
       | native language after a long absence from their homeland.
       | 
       | In a few cases I've met people who could speak no language well.
       | Their native tongue was gone or degraded but they had not
       | achieved strong proficiency in English or the local language.
       | 
       | One was a tailor in Montreal. Tried English and French, they were
       | so so at both and said they were from Italy originally. I speak
       | some Italian so tried that. They struggled more than in English
       | or French. They looked around 80, likely had been many decades.
        
         | whamlastxmas wrote:
         | I think the 80 years old part is the biggest contributor there
        
           | graeme wrote:
           | Perhaps, but he was still a skilled tailor. I've also met
           | much younger people with native proficiency in no language.
           | Not many, perhaps only 3 total in my life but they exist.
           | 
           | It would be interesting to know what happens to native
           | language skills if they returned to a native environment
           | though. I expect they'd recover fairly quickly, at least in
           | younger people.
        
         | FpUser wrote:
         | >"In a few cases I've met people who could speak no language
         | well. Their native tongue was gone or degraded but they had not
         | achieved strong proficiency in English or the local language."
         | 
         | Me, me, me ;) My spoken Russian has somewhat degraded. And my
         | English and "strong proficiency" are worlds apart. 30 years of
         | living in USSR and then 30 years in Canada.
        
         | rahimnathwani wrote:
         | Their native tongue was gone or degraded but they had not
         | achieved strong proficiency in English or the local language.
         | 
         | This reminds me of two things:
         | 
         | https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=23175216
         | 
         | https://www.quora.com/Every-service-at-Google-is-either-depr...
        
           | klipt wrote:
           | "Don't half ass two things instead of whole assing one
           | thing."
        
         | o11c wrote:
         | I also know a tailor who is neither fluent in English nor his
         | original language.
         | 
         | But in my case I know enough over time and from the family to
         | state: this was some sort of life-long speech defect, not a
         | matter of learning.
        
           | graeme wrote:
           | You know that's a fair objection. My sample is small and I
           | didn't know the tailor when younger. In the other cases I
           | couldn't know how skilled they were in their native language
           | when they spoke it.
        
       | niemandhier wrote:
       | I'll join the ranks of Germans loosing their mother tongue, I
       | wonder why we are I susceptible to it. Even though living in
       | Germany I am in an English speaking academic bubble, spending 10h
       | a day reading, writing and discussing in English.
       | 
       | Interestingly I'll be the 3rd generation in my Familie to loos
       | his mother tongue.
       | 
       | My grandfather spoke east Prussian which was lost to low German.
       | My mother spoke low German which was lost to high German. I grew
       | up in high German and probably at some point will be mostly
       | English speaking .
        
       | TrackerFF wrote:
       | I was born in Norway, but between age 1-2 we lived in Sweden,
       | then age 2-3 in Norway, and age 3-7 in Finland. I spoke fluent
       | Finish, and started to struggle a bit with Norwegian. When I was
       | 7 we moved back to Norway, and I had a thick accent. I'd still
       | speak and read finish for a couple of years home.
       | 
       | We'd take trips to see relatives in Finland every summer, and I
       | could speak fluent finish up until I was 16 - after that I needed
       | more time. Then there was a 10 year gap where I did not go to
       | Finland, due to studies and work, and spoke minimal.
       | 
       | Now I can barely get a simple sentence right. But I can still
       | read a bit, and I can sort of listen to people have a
       | conversation. But speaking is rough, really rough.
       | 
       | With that said, I've bet some Norwegians that have lived in, say
       | US, for 50-60-70 years, and have a really thick accent - and use
       | lots of English words when they can't come up with the Norwegian
       | word. Two of my grand-uncles moved to respectively Canada and USA
       | when they were 20, and lived there until they passed away in
       | their 90s. Overhearing grandpa talk to them on the speaker phone
       | was...interesting, to put it that way.
        
       | drdrey wrote:
       | This is a rare counterexample to Betteridge's law of headlines
        
       | jillesvangurp wrote:
       | I've lived outside the Netherlands on and off since 1998 and
       | permanently since 2005. I still speak Dutch with family and some
       | friends but not that fluently; my mother teases me when she
       | catches me making silly mistakes.
       | 
       | I rarely write in Dutch and I've noticed that things that I
       | shouldn't have to pause and think about actually have me in doubt
       | when I do. Little spelling issues. Grammatical stuff. Etc. It's
       | still there but I have to stop and think. It would all come back
       | pretty quickly if I'd move back probably. That's what happened
       | the last time I did that, 25 years ago. But even after just a few
       | years away it took me a while to adjust.
       | 
       | And even though I live in Germany, it's not my first or second
       | language. More like a distant third. I'm speaking English most of
       | the time. With an accent that sometimes confuses native speakers
       | but I wouldn't be able to pass for a native speaker mostly. I
       | sound more obviously Dutch when I get tired. My grammar gets
       | worse, etc. Accents are hard to lose.
       | 
       | I understand German well enough but I'm barely able to form a
       | coherent sentence. I have no hope of getting it even close to the
       | level of my English. And I have no use for a language that makes
       | me sound like a verbally challenged migrant in business
       | situations. The non trivial amount of effort to even get close to
       | my English is not time I have left in this life. So, I'm not
       | super motivated to spend a lot of time on that. I stopped
       | apologizing for / feeling guilty about that many years ago.
       | 
       | Anyway, we're heading for universal translators now powered by
       | LLMs. The main challenge is speed; not quality of the
       | translations at this point. Less need than ever to learn a new
       | language. Fun times might be ahead for people that are a bit
       | adventurous. No more need to ask "do you speak English?".
        
         | Aachen wrote:
         | What kind of mistakes do you make?
         | 
         | I'm finding that ei/ij is something I now need to look up
         | regularly. Vocabulary sometimes takes me a second to remember
         | (new words, that I learned after moving away, probably as much
         | as old words), or whether an expression/saying is Dutch or
         | German or English or an Internet reference, but nothing is a
         | hindrance to fluency as much as the dumb ei/ij thing--that we
         | could simply have abolished centuries ago instead of learning
         | it by heart for generations--since I need to really pause and
         | do an external lookup instead of thinking/umming for 500ms
         | 
         | For others who read this: ei/in is like whether to write cocoa
         | with a c or a k, if both letters were equally common (it's a
         | 50/50 split with no logic to it) and sometimes the other
         | variant has a completely different meaning
        
           | jillesvangurp wrote:
           | Stuff like that indeed requires more thinking than it used
           | to.
        
         | devilbunny wrote:
         | Are you speaking English primarily with Commonwealth speakers?
         | Because while it isn't the same, a Dutch accent is surprisingly
         | close to a lot of American accents. I have never encountered
         | difficulty understanding native Dutch speakers who have good
         | English (which is most of you). Yes, it's obviously _not_ an
         | American accent, but compared to Scots? Way easier to
         | understand.
         | 
         | If it weren't for the fact that I am a huge, huge fan of
         | _Trainspotting_ I would have been utterly lost in Edinburgh,
         | let alone Glasgow. My wife could barely understand anything
         | said by about 80% of the Scots and I would have to repeat
         | sentences for her. Especially in noisy situations like crowded
         | restaurants.
        
           | jillesvangurp wrote:
           | > Are you speaking English primarily with Commonwealth
           | speakers?
           | 
           | A mix of mostly expats from all over the world. And I have
           | some Irish friends and colleagues. And lots of Germans. But
           | it helps that I get exposed to a lot of English/US media,
           | youtube, etc.
        
             | devilbunny wrote:
             | Right, but if the listeners are not American or Canadian
             | then they may find your accent challenging. Americans and
             | Canadians spell things differently but we largely speak the
             | same language. And we would not find your accent a
             | challenge.
             | 
             | Culturally, I am closer in some ways to Australians, but
             | linguistically I have more in common with English speakers
             | from Quebec than Aussies.
        
       | Fire-Dragon-DoL wrote:
       | If you emigrate to a country where you speak a different
       | language, you become very aware of the harsh truth
        
       | ajakate wrote:
       | I think it's pretty common actually among some immigrant groups
       | (2nd gen Indians in the US at least, of which I am one).
       | 
       | I was born in the US, but my first language was Marathi, and it
       | was really the only language I was fluent in until I was around
       | 4. After learning English in school, I started to always answer
       | my parents in English. We didn't really live near a Marathi
       | community, so it came to be that I could understand Marathi
       | fluently (albeit with very limited vocabulary) around family but
       | couldn't form a sentence to save my life.
       | 
       | Same story for all my US/Canadian cousins, and most other 2nd gen
       | desis I've met.
        
       | galkk wrote:
       | I'm a native speaker of Russian and Ukrainian.
       | 
       | I speak Russian at home (in the USA), English at work, and do not
       | have exposure to Ukrainian except for occasionally looking at
       | local news sites.
       | 
       | When I visited Ukraine after 8 years, I found that, for the first
       | several days, my brain was formulating sentences in English first
       | when I wanted to say something. I needed to force myself to
       | switch to Ukrainian.
       | 
       | But, overall, I felt that Ukrainian was moving into the "foreign"
       | part of my brain.
        
         | egorfine wrote:
         | Privit! :-)
         | 
         | Anecdotal account.
         | 
         | Not that I ever had to actually speak Ukrainian, I knew it so
         | much better than the vast majority of our political elite.
         | However as I was leaning Polish I have discovered that it
         | sneakily replaced Ukrainian in mind. Just a couple months ago I
         | have met a moron here in Warsaw who went to accuse me of shit
         | and I wanted to answer him in perfect Ukrainian and... I
         | couldn't. Not a word. All Polish.
        
       | PinkSheep wrote:
       | Forming mental connections between objects and their respective
       | words is the forgettable part. I will understand and read and
       | write my native language, but recalling anything beyond household
       | vocabulary for speech is hard. I found it is rather trainable,
       | especially if you force yourself into a podcast/streaming format
       | of monologues
       | 
       | And don't ask me to translate anything, all that comes daily in a
       | language, stays in that language. For example, the tech stuff is
       | exclusively English, household predominantly Russian,
       | conversational is mostly German. Therefore translation is yet
       | another skill that requires you to connect meanings and
       | connotations of words and phrases between two languages. This is
       | probably the issue people have, when they learn a language in
       | writing by a dictionary.
        
       | fortran77 wrote:
       | I lost fluency in mine, but it was a language spoken at home with
       | my parents (their native language) while I spoke another language
       | with everyone else outside of home.
        
       | saagarjha wrote:
       | I'm curious what language the author thinks in.
        
         | DoingIsLearning wrote:
         | Curiously I think that also depends at least in my anecdata
         | case.
         | 
         | In a work/technical context I am definitely thinking and
         | reasoning in English.
         | 
         | At home if I am discussing or planning something my inner voice
         | is definitely in my mother tongue.
         | 
         | What is interesting is that irrespective of context if I m
         | doing basic arithmetics or simplifying an equation my inner
         | monologue is _always_ in my mother tongue.
         | 
         | Another one is levels of pain. If I have some misfortune or
         | accident I might swear in English. But if I _really_ hurt
         | myself there is deluge of swear words in my mother tongue.
        
       | bjoli wrote:
       | One thing I always found fascinating are swedes moving to the US
       | and begin speaking Swedish with an American accent after 10+
       | years. Not as a thing. They really sound like a US immigrant,
       | with all the same un-idiomatic errors that many do, even after
       | many years in Sweden.
       | 
       | I mean, Sweden is not their home any more, and Swedish is not
       | their main language, but as someone who has lived abroad I can't
       | understand how it happens.
        
       | qingcharles wrote:
       | Even English/English gets corrupted.
       | 
       | I'm British, in the US for 15 years. I've forgotten the British
       | terms for some items.
       | 
       | I have no idea any longer what British people call the main bag
       | you put rubbish into in the kitchen? In America it would be a
       | trash bag or garbage bag (I can't tell when each of those is most
       | applicable). Is it just a black bag in England?
       | 
       | And what is the equivalent of a garbage truck? A rubbish lorry?
       | 
       | These things have been completely lost to me.
        
         | orobinson wrote:
         | Bin bag, bin lorry. I grew up saying dustbin but most people
         | just call them bins these days.
         | 
         | I believe "dustbin" is from the Victorian era where what little
         | rubbish people had was burnt in the fireplace. The "dustbin
         | man" would come by and take away your fireplace ashes.
        
           | dfawcus wrote:
           | We had coal fires, and no central heating when I was a young
           | child.
           | 
           | So we had two (steel) dustbins, and the dust-men would empty
           | them.
           | 
           | I can't remember if the bin wagon had a different name, I
           | shall have to ask my parents.
        
         | dannyobrien wrote:
         | your second example i've struggled with myself (and came up
         | with the same clumsy rubbish lorry back-derivation). but i
         | _think_ the first is  "binliner"?
         | 
         | british exile for 24 years
        
           | qingcharles wrote:
           | Sweet baby Jesus, it's Danny O'Brien. I actually quoted NTK
           | in a court hearing some time ago; that was confusing. I was
           | also filming Chips With Everything at the time you were doing
           | 404 with Dave :)
           | 
           | Binliner definitely seems to tweak some deep neurons.
        
         | KineticLensman wrote:
         | (UK) My local council say 'rubbish bins' on their website. And
         | talk about rubbish collection. I say dustbin sometimes at home
         | to distinguish the bin outside from the one in the kitchen.
         | 'Wheelie bins' is also totally understood
        
         | zimpenfish wrote:
         | > British people call the main bag you put rubbish into in the
         | kitchen?
         | 
         | For me, once it's in use, it'd just be "the bin" but I guess
         | the specific name for the bag itself would be "bin bag" or "bin
         | liner".
         | 
         | > And what is the equivalent of a garbage truck? A rubbish
         | lorry?
         | 
         | I've seen both but people would also just refer to "the bin
         | men" (as in "the bin men come on Thursday")
        
           | dfawcus wrote:
           | Bin wagon.
        
         | DicIfTEx wrote:
         | Being British English, I'm sure are are bitterly fought-over
         | regional variations, but I would say 'bin bag' and 'bin lorry'.
         | And 'roll' for a round breaded morsel.
        
       | ghfhghg wrote:
       | French was the first language I spoke well and I haven't spoken
       | it for 25 years. I'm appalled at myself when I struggle to speak
       | with my French family.
       | 
       | I tell myself that if I apply myself it will come back but I'm
       | starting to have doubts it will be that easy.
        
       | FlyingSnake wrote:
       | I might be an outlier here because I have not lost any of the
       | languages I grew up speaking (Marathi and Hindi). In fact I can
       | also switch between various accents in them. Even after learning
       | few more languages later in life, I can still speak/read/write
       | fluently in these.
        
       | vermooten wrote:
       | "Parents were discouraged from teaching their children languages
       | other than English, even if they expressed themselves best in
       | that other language." Yes my Spanish-speaking father and English-
       | speaking mother decided, when I was growing up in USA in the 60s,
       | not to speak Spanish to me, in case it fucked my learning and
       | development up. Shame, it would have been cool.
        
         | ninalanyon wrote:
         | This idea that one language will hinder the learning of another
         | seems pervasive. But experience suggests it's not true. My
         | children learned Norwegian with no effort at all when in
         | kindergarten despite us speaking only English to them at home.
         | They were indistinguishable from native speakers in both
         | languages by the age of four.
        
       | Justta wrote:
       | She spoke French and English from childhood, her family spoke
       | those languages. I cannot accept English is her native language.
       | English language as a whole is not fully single language. It has
       | influence of many languages. Only a portion of the language can
       | be considered native that has substantial contribution from
       | England etc. Other parts are not native or something anyone needs
       | to feel their own. Most languages are not purely from a region or
       | a race except some tribal languages. I have no particular liking
       | for the language I spoke as a child. If you go deep some
       | influences on it are forced to suit a particular identity. Maybe
       | not European languages. Test is whether our ancestors spoke what
       | we consider our native language 500 years ago.
       | 
       | Maybe I will shift to a language I have never spoken in life.
        
         | saghm wrote:
         | I'm not sure I understand that point you're trying to make. As
         | someone who only speaks English, if English isn't a "single
         | language" or "considered native", then what's my "native
         | language"? My understanding of the term is that "native
         | language" is descriptor of a speaker rather than a
         | categorization of a language itself, so the idea that a
         | language itself can be "not native" universally doesn't make
         | much sense to me. I understand that different parts of English
         | have roots in different languages, but from my perspective as a
         | modern speaker with only limited knowledge of other languages
         | (a few years of Spanish in school and then a few semesters of
         | Dutch in college, but I'm not even proficient at a
         | conversational level of either at this point), the origins of
         | the words I'm using are irrelevant to whether I can think
         | naturally in them; the fact I can check Google to see the
         | entomology of the words "check" and "proficient" and see that
         | one comes from French and the other from Latin doesn't affect
         | my ability to understand them being used in this paragraph
         | together. I strongly suspect that anyone else who identifies as
         | a native English speaker would similarly be able to understand
         | both of those words equally well, so it's not very plausible to
         | me that there's no such thing as English as a "native
         | language".
        
       | oblio wrote:
       | Sebastian Stan moved to the US when he was 12, I think. His
       | Romanian is passable, but not amazing (besides the obvious
       | access, his grammar is probably at middle school level).
       | 
       | So yeah, you can lose your native tongue if you're no longer
       | massively exposed to if after 20-25, I think. And even in that
       | case, you'll probably fall behind a lot after a few decades of 0
       | exposure and massive exposure of another language.
        
       | kelnos wrote:
       | I'm an English-only speaker who has at times tried to learn other
       | languages (Spanish, Mandarin, Italian), but aside from some
       | _very_ basic proficiency (I hesitate to even call it
       | "proficiency") in Spanish, I never got anywhere useful in
       | anything else.
       | 
       | Seeing all the comments here makes me feel a bit bummed out. I
       | still would really like to become proficient in another language
       | one day, but it seems like it's really a "use it or lose it"
       | proposition, and I don't think there's any language I could learn
       | that I'd have the opportunity to use often enough to retain it,
       | assuming I could immerse myself enough to learn it in the first
       | place.
       | 
       | (Well, I suppose I could learn my wife's native language, but I'm
       | a little skeptical that she would want to talk with me in it
       | often enough to to keep it fresh in my mind.)
        
         | jll29 wrote:
         | You can go in deeply enough that you won't forget it even if
         | you pick it up later in your life, but the trouble is you
         | cannot know whether (or not yet) you have reached that level.
         | If you were to pursue that as a personal project, spending a
         | few months or one full year abroad to fully immerse and then
         | following up back home with some routine of combined reading of
         | books in the language and occasional meetup group to have
         | _some_ occasional practice /use is what I would recommend.
         | 
         | BTW, Spanish and Italian are similar enough that there could be
         | confusion in the learner's brain (happened to me - after two
         | years of Spanish in school, self study of Italian from six
         | audio tapes failed because for each word, the Spanish version
         | was promptly recalled instead of the newly acquired Italian
         | one).
         | 
         | IMHO, it's worth it, and from what I read in the UK interest in
         | foreign languages is declining (and it corresponds with
         | personal experience, when I studied a bit of French and
         | Russian, the French course had no Brits in it, and the Russian
         | course just one, everyone else was a foreigner).
         | 
         | As a linguist I may be biased, of course, but I would encourage
         | you to pursue at least one language other than English more
         | deeply (instead of, say, dabbling in three superficially),
         | because it opens up a new horizon being able to navigate a
         | culture without translator and reading its literature in the
         | original. There are certain words, phrases and sayings in each
         | language that when you "get" them you feel like "I no other
         | language could one say this better!", whether it's Danish,
         | English, Spanish, German or Latin.
         | 
         | One of my Ph.D. advisers was British and the other one
         | U.S.-American, and I won't forget
         | 
         | PS: Is there a link without paywall to the original article?
        
         | ema wrote:
         | Speaking is use it or lose it[1] but understanding stays. If
         | you spend on average twenty minutes a day listening to content
         | that is at a level where you understand most of it for twenty
         | years at the end of it you will have no trouble understanding
         | that language in most contexts. You can even have year long
         | gaps as long as the average works out. Learning to understand a
         | language isn't hard (if there's sufficient learner content) it
         | just takes a lot of time. Of course if you have enough free
         | time you can do 4 hours a day and get there in less than two
         | years. Once you are at that level you are in an excellent
         | position to learn to speak the language even if you have to
         | repeat that part of the process if you leave long gaps.
         | 
         | If you want to give Spanish another go I can recommend
         | dreamingspanish as they have just a ton of excellent learner
         | content on various levels.
         | 
         | [1] to the point that I sometimes have trouble expressing
         | certain concepts in my native German even though I live in
         | Germany because so much of my life happens in other languages.
        
         | ordu wrote:
         | Yeah, it can be hard, if the second language is not English. It
         | easy to find places to practice English and get some other
         | benefits as well. (Like NH for example, where you can read news
         | or talk with people)
         | 
         | I'm learning German, I finished the Duolingo course, and now
         | I'm just reading in German. Books, news sites, and suchlike. It
         | is not the best way, I know from my experience of English: if
         | you don't speak in language, you cannot speak it; if you don't
         | listen it you cannot hear it. My plan is to let it go, as it
         | goes, collect a big vocabulary and the feel for the language,
         | and then maybe take some courses, to polish theory and get an
         | experience of writing, talking, or otherwise generating German
         | sentences. I learned English in this way.
        
       | MarkusWandel wrote:
       | I would say yes. ESL for 44 years. But I do keep up my native
       | language. It doesn't take much. Just think in that language once
       | in a while, read or watch media in that language occasionally.
       | Even if it's just 1% of the media you consume, it will keep it
       | fresh. But if you're completely isolated from it for decades, it
       | will fade.
        
       | sunami-ai wrote:
       | I lost words, not tongue so much (checks to see if tongue is
       | still there)
       | 
       | But the biggest surprise turned out to be that language changes
       | over time, and what words and way of speaking that I recall from
       | 37 years ago have changed dramatically that even if I had 100%
       | retention 10% of what I say will not be understood today, and 10%
       | of what is currently being spoken I could not understand.
       | 
       | That has nothing to do with losing native tongue and everything
       | to do with the fact that language, including pronounciation, is
       | always evolving.
        
       | crossroadsguy wrote:
       | My native tongue (or mother tongue; for me it's the same and I
       | assume it's the same to keep it less complicated and not being
       | too anal about linguistics) is something that most people never
       | know exists and when I tell them they say "oh, but that's just
       | Hindi" which is ironic because my native tongue predates Hindi,
       | in any shape of form, by at least 1000 years. Another sad irony
       | is, the Southern part of my country, blames me for trying to
       | destroy their mother tongues with Hindi while completely unaware
       | that it's Hindi that is destroying (actually destroyed) my mother
       | tongue and Hindi itself is being destroyed by English.
       | 
       | When I had visited Korea it was really heartening in one aspect
       | (as much difficult as it was to converse there) - it was
       | witnessing how they have retained their language and are proud of
       | it (or maybe not; it maybe just natural and how it is as a matter
       | of fact) and actually use it in every way possible.
       | 
       | Can I loose my mother tongue? I don't think so. When I go back
       | home (my village) the switch happens within a matter of hours or
       | maybe a day or two (max) - vocabulary, accent, grammar, lilt -
       | everything comes back. Very strange, at least to me. Can I lose
       | my first language? I already lost it. Hindi was my first language
       | and now it's English and I kind of feel sad about it that it
       | happened in my own country where English is not a native (or
       | mother) tongue of anyone at all.
        
         | seafoamteal wrote:
         | Out of interest, what is your mother tongue?
        
       | seafoamteal wrote:
       | Whenever someone asks me what my first language is, I'm always
       | conflicted for a two main reasons:
       | 
       | 1. It's a relatively small dialect that's sort of a mix between
       | the major languages of two South Indian states, owing to medieval
       | migration. It's never on any forms and I would never expect it to
       | be, but it also does not have a distinct name. And even more
       | confusingly, despite it being named the same as one of the
       | aforementioned major languages, I can't speak that one at all,
       | and instead can speak the other.
       | 
       | 2. After living abroad as a child and going to schools where
       | English was the primary medium of instruction my entire life
       | (even after moving back to India), I am by far the most fluent in
       | English of the 4 languages I can speak (not all of them
       | fluently). I _think_ in English.
       | 
       | I often find myself sad about the attrition of my mother tongue,
       | especially because I'm noticing it happen more and more not just
       | to me but to my entire generation. I've often considered trying
       | to document it in some way, but I've no idea where to even start
       | such an effort.
        
         | t_mann wrote:
         | > I've often considered trying to document it in some way, but
         | I've no idea where to even start such an effort.
         | 
         | LLMs could represent an interesting opportunity not just for
         | linguistic preservation, but also to make smaller languages
         | more relevant to their communities again. This article [0],
         | despite its headline claiming the opposite, contains some
         | examples of researchers training LLMs to that end, and how it's
         | helped them reconnect with their mother tongues and relatives.
         | 
         | [0]
         | https://www.theatlantic.com/technology/archive/2024/04/gener...
         | discussed on HN: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=40143621
        
         | carlmr wrote:
         | You could try contacting your local university's linguistics
         | dept, they might know somebody that knows someone that's
         | interested in documenting the language.
        
           | culi wrote:
           | Glottolog is pretty damn thorough. I bet you can find it here
           | 
           | https://glottolog.org/resource/languoid/id/drav1251
        
         | leosanchez wrote:
         | > sort of a mix between the major languages of two South Indian
         | states
         | 
         | As a fellow South Indian, i would like know more. Which states
         | are they?
        
           | umeshunni wrote:
           | I'm guessing Tamil Nadu and Karnataka.
        
           | shrikant wrote:
           | I assume Palakkad Tamil, which is more Malayalam than Tamil.
        
         | jhanschoo wrote:
         | Something I'm thinking about with under-resourced languages is
         | that you have to either be OK with an extensive replacement of
         | vocabulary with English/other prestige language's vocabulary,
         | or you need influential nationalists/ideologues devoting a lot
         | of time coining new terms from native roots. We've seen
         | vocabulary get supplanted with English (Norman/Latinate vocab),
         | and these days we see it even in languages as high-resource as
         | Japanese and Korean (English vocab), especially in business. I
         | suppose this happened to your mother tongue as well in the
         | past.
         | 
         | > but I've no idea where to even start such an effort.
         | 
         | I think there are two arms to this kind of cultural agenda. One
         | is indeed to document it in the ways it is used by native
         | speakers in the domains of life that its speakers use it in.
         | 
         | The other is more accessible and creative, to reform it by
         | drawing it out of homes and villages and making it a suitable
         | vehicle for conversation in the global intellectual zeitgeist.
         | That means giving standard names to every periodic table
         | element, to Newtonian mechanics, to business concepts, and so
         | on, but also to things like "mobile phone", "ballpoint pen",
         | "gym", "soda". A good starting point can come from translating
         | Wikipedia.
         | 
         | To be frank even a language with as ideological a community of
         | speakers as Hebrew borrows a lot from the English/Latinate
         | vocabulary for modern terms. There may be other examples, but
         | probably the language I know to be most successful in such a
         | project is Standard Written Chinese. It got a headstart with
         | the Japanese forming Sinitic calques as Japan modernized in the
         | Meiji era, but then today the standard practice is to form
         | calques for new terms rather than transliterate, which is quite
         | rare.
        
         | culi wrote:
         | Have you tried finding the glottolog id of your language?
         | 
         | https://glottolog.org/resource/languoid/id/drav1251
        
         | polydevil wrote:
         | First language is not the same as native language. It is the
         | same for majority - that is the source for controversy.
        
       | mattmaroon wrote:
       | My grandma moved to the US from Germany when she was young. When
       | she was in her late 70's or early 80's she told me she wasn't
       | completely fluent in German anymore. It definitely atrophied to
       | some degree.
        
       | jll29 wrote:
       | In linguistic terminology L1 and L2 refer to your native tongue
       | versus second language, respectively.
       | 
       | So the process of declining performance in your native language
       | is known as "L1 attrition", but it's an extremely under-
       | researched topic. In case any academics are reading this that
       | migth be aware of key papers, I'd appreciate a link or
       | bibliographic reference.
        
         | spidersouris wrote:
         | A quick Google search for "L1 attrition file:pdf" or "first
         | language attrition file:pdf" returns tons of results, so it
         | doesn't seem to be that understudied. I think it mostly depends
         | on what you want to focus on: do you want to know how a
         | specific language or group of languages come to be lost by
         | native speakers (e.g., indigenous languages)? Or are there some
         | linguistics characteristics that you're more interested in
         | analyzing (e.g., writing attrition, phonological attrition,
         | grammar attrition)?
         | 
         | Here are some the things that I found; I can't guarantee
         | they're all scientifically sound though, you'll have to do your
         | own checks:
         | 
         | [1] Schmid, M.S. 2011. Language Attrition. Cambridge: Cambridge
         | University Press.
         | https://www.cambridge.org/core/books/language-attrition/E01D...
         | 
         | [2] Gallo et al., First Language Attrition: What It Is, What It
         | Isn't, And What It Can Be (December 23, 2019). Higher School of
         | Economics Research Paper No. WP BRP 113/PSY/2019.
         | https://papers.ssrn.com/sol3/papers.cfm?abstract_id=3508640
         | 
         | [3] Francis, 2023. When does second language learning lead to
         | first language attrition?
         | https://www.researchgate.net/publication/365372235_When_does...
        
         | tuukkah wrote:
         | It seems people are mixing active and passive skills as well
         | here: For example, if you don't speak or write a language (L1
         | or L2) for a while, those activities will become more difficult
         | but it doesn't mean you would lose listening and reading as
         | well. OTOH if you are separated from your L1 community for
         | decades, you'll have grown apart and there's potentially a huge
         | gap culturally and in vocabularies.
         | 
         | Also, everyone has a smaller active and larger passive
         | vocabulary, so alone it's not a sign of attrition.
        
       | OptionOfT wrote:
       | Belgian born, raised in Flanders, speaking Flemish (=Dutch
       | dialect).
       | 
       | Worked at a US company in Belgium where the lingua franca was
       | English.
       | 
       | Moved to the USA 8 years ago.
       | 
       | My wife (from the Netherlands, but a native Flemish speaker) and
       | I switched to speaking English at home.
       | 
       | Couple of weeks ago I'm walking in our neighborhood and I met
       | this guy with a Flemish sounding name. He was Flemish. Started to
       | speak Flemish to me. I could not reply. Could not find words, and
       | didn't know how to move my tongue to produce those sounds.
       | 
       | Now, I can speak Flemish fine with my mom and sister. I struggle
       | with words sometimes and my word order is incorrect.
       | 
       | But it only works when I call them. A spontaneous need to speak
       | Flemish just... fails.
       | 
       | And forgive me for writing Flemish and not Dutch. It's different
       | enough that it requires more active listening when you don't have
       | a trained ear for it.
        
         | skerit wrote:
         | > And forgive me for writing Flemish and not Dutch. It's
         | different enough that it requires more active listening when
         | you don't have a trained ear for it
         | 
         | Flemish here. The written forms are diverging a lot too, and I
         | wish streaming platforms would take notice. It's so annoying
         | when watching a good TV-show or movie and the subtitles are
         | _clearly_ Netherlands-Dutch.
        
           | oefnak wrote:
           | You should use English subs anyway if the original language
           | is English.
        
           | OptionOfT wrote:
           | That's interesting. I switched to English subs way before
           | moving to the US. I started getting annoyed at incorrect
           | translations, or missing context (i.e. in the Simpsons).
           | 
           | But I do remember the fanfare around children's movies
           | finally being dubbed by Flemish voice actors, and not just
           | getting the Dutch dub. Flemish was finally recognized as
           | worthy of its own dub.
           | 
           | Are you saying it's different vs say 10 years ago?
        
       | LeftyStrat wrote:
       | I wish I could lose my southern accent.
        
       | browningstreet wrote:
       | My parents were both born abroad. I was born in the US. As a
       | child we spoke their native language at home. It was my first
       | language. Then I went to preschool and learned English. We ended
       | up moving to another country for a while and I learned that
       | language too. Then we returned to the US and I can only speak
       | English. It's absolutely had an effect on my speaking and
       | thinking habits. I've tried to learn those other two languages
       | and I think it's been harder than it is for most people. It's
       | blocked. I have ephemeral thoughts I can't convey in language.
       | It's like having persistent deja vu.
        
       | cyrnel wrote:
       | No discussion of language loss is complete without mentioning the
       | hundreds of indigenous languages that were eradicated by force:
       | 
       | > "Funded by the federal government and contracted to religious
       | missionaries, the purpose of a residential school was to
       | reprogram Native children--by force if necessary--eliminating
       | their tribal beliefs, modes of dress, music, language, and
       | thought. If they resisted, they were brutally abused. Known as
       | residential schools because students were required to reside on
       | campus, the institutions were notorious for their cruelty. When
       | students spoke in their Native languages, they were punished by
       | having their tongues punctured with sewing needles. At the St.
       | Anne's residential school, run by the Oblate order in Fort
       | Albany, Ontario, a makeshift electric chair was built to punish
       | students with electric shocks."
       | 
       | Excerpt From "We Had a Little Real Estate Problem"
       | 
       | Kliph Nesteroff
        
       | bane wrote:
       | Anecdote: my wife immigrated to the U.S. from South Korea in her
       | mid-20s with only a smattering of English and multiple college
       | degrees in her home country.
       | 
       | Since then she's lived more or less in a 98% English only bubble,
       | received more education here and has worked a steady job in
       | various Engineering roles. Over the intervening 25+ years she's
       | learned an uncountable number of new things and concepts over her
       | life, but only knows the U.S. English language words for them
       | (mostly technical, engineering, software, or workplace
       | administrative topics).
       | 
       | These topics _also_ exist in Korea, or have arisen in Korea, and
       | Koreans have given their own words and thoughts to these things.
       | Sometimes they are loan words, sometimes not. Sometimes the
       | loanwords are not obvious, not sourced from English, or filtered
       | through an intermediary language like Japanese which put its own
       | spin on it.
       | 
       | So these days when she's talking with her family or friends, when
       | they discuss something that showed up _after_ she left Korea,
       | they sometimes have to have a brief discussion to teach each
       | other what to call it. Her other Korean friends who have been in
       | the U.S. about as long as she has have similar struggles.
       | 
       | She's also "lost" some of her higher-level native-sino-Korean
       | words since she literally hasn't had to use any of it since
       | college in Korea. Words like the name for an unusual
       | philosophical movement during a historic period in Korean history
       | for example.
       | 
       | So yes, in some sense she's "losing" her native language as both
       | the language co-evolves in two different geographies, and as she
       | doesn't use some parts of it she's forgotten some complex
       | vocabulary. But basic grammar structures seem to persist and day-
       | to-day working vocabulary seems unphased.
       | 
       | On the flip side, I _don 't_ speak Korean in any useful capacity,
       | but know a few hundred words, and can read/write Hangul enough to
       | get around. There are nouns and concepts I _only_ know in Korean,
       | or in the English translation of the native Korean terms, even if
       | there are perfectly fine native English words for the thing --
       | mostly food words. Like  "juggumi", it's a kind of Octopus, but I
       | have no idea what it's called in English. I also have adopted a
       | kind of simplified English grammar when we're talking, or we're
       | in Korea that seems to make me more understandable to the average
       | Korean. I can see that in an alternate history, we had moved to
       | Korea 25+ years ago I'd have most certainly lost an amount of
       | fluency in English as my working language shifted to Korean.
        
       | s09dfhks wrote:
       | This last weekend, I met a friend's wife. She immigrated here
       | from Vietnam when she was ~4 years old and has since forgotten
       | how to speak Vietnamese. I was shocked
        
       | egorfine wrote:
       | Anecdotal evidence of a multilingual person living in a country
       | desperately scrambling to transition from one language to
       | another:
       | 
       | I grew up in Geneva. So French at school and among friends. Then
       | my parents and I moved to Ukraine and lived there since the
       | independence, so Russian at home and that's my mother tongue.
       | Ukraine has been rushing to transition its population to
       | Ukrainian for a decade or two - all with limited success. And on
       | top of that I am as close to being a native English speaker as
       | possible while living abroad.
       | 
       | So what happens in an environment like that? Looks like people
       | tend to express and think about different parts of life in
       | different languages. When I think legal matters in my homeland,
       | it's mostly Ukrainian. When I think about IT and computers and
       | while lurking here or on Reddit, it's English. Daydreaming about
       | childhood: French. When stressed: brain loses everything but
       | English. Inner monologue: mostly Russian.
       | 
       | So, to sum up the question: can one lose their native tongue?
       | Answer: I have no idea.
        
       | ralferoo wrote:
       | I couldn't read the paywalled article, but yes. My auntie was
       | born to English parents in the UK, moved from UK to Switzerland
       | when she was in her early 20s and only visited the UK a handful
       | of times after that. I never met her until she was in her mid 70s
       | when she visited the UK for her mum's 100th birthday, and she
       | really struggled with English even though it was her mother
       | tongue.
       | 
       | After 50 years of rarely speaking the language, she'd stopped
       | thinking in English, and although she could recollect most
       | vocabulary (although not as quickly as German), she could only
       | construct English sentences by thinking in German and translating
       | that to English, and usually ending up with German word order.
        
       | bionsystem wrote:
       | I once met a guy who did. He was in his 70s born in soviet
       | Russia, emigrated as a kid in western Germany at 5 or 6, and was
       | re-learning Russian at 70+ because he forgot all about it.
        
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