[HN Gopher] Regency Sex Ed
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       Regency Sex Ed
        
       Author : crescit_eundo
       Score  : 102 points
       Date   : 2025-01-17 16:22 UTC (4 days ago)
        
 (HTM) web link (www.historynewsnetwork.org)
 (TXT) w3m dump (www.historynewsnetwork.org)
        
       | ggm wrote:
       | Absolutely fascinating. The deep history of obvious knowledge of
       | reproduction side by side with astounding ignorance is palpable.
       | Joseph Heller wrote about it in catch-22 and a parade of modern
       | day unexpected pregnancy stories are testament to it's
       | continuance.
       | 
       | What's equally fascinating is the equally dichotomous side by
       | side knowledge of STDs and their effect on pregnancy. You get a
       | lot of it in "who do you think you are" ancestry type shows, when
       | there is the massive family lots of children dead quickly story.
       | 
       | I do love a good bodice ripper. Dorothy Dunnett was my stand out
       | historian author, maybe I have a (-substantially more fruity)
       | alternative to explore.
       | 
       | (Bridgerton was fun but I find Georgette Heyer just as fun, and
       | you can't beat her on the peninsular wars or Waterloo alongside
       | the heaving bosoms)
        
       | dvh wrote:
       | A mother of a teenage son is talking to her husband about
       | introducing an important topic to their son. To make it less
       | shocking, she suggests using an analogy like butterflies. So, the
       | father goes to the son's room.
       | 
       | - "Son, do you remember last year when we went camping?"
       | 
       | - "Yeah, I remember that."
       | 
       | - "And do you remember when we set up the tent by the river?"
       | 
       | - "Yeah, I remember."
       | 
       | - "And do you remember when those two women set up their tent
       | next to ours?"
       | 
       | - "Yeah, I remember."
       | 
       | - "And do you remember that one night when they visited our tent
       | and what we were doing with them?"
       | 
       | - "Yeah, I remember."
       | 
       | - "Well, you see, butterflies do it in a very similar way."
        
         | technothrasher wrote:
         | "It's actually not that similar, since butterflies are
         | oviparous, and have ZW sexual determination" - my nerdy high
         | school self completely missing the joke.
        
           | tialaramex wrote:
           | I assume it's a relief for parents when their offspring
           | realise a few sentences in that this is The Conversation and
           | they cut to the chase. "Yes mother/ father, I do understand
           | roughly how human sexual reproduction works, and I have been
           | taught about consent, so we're all good right?"
        
             | dfxm12 wrote:
             | Kids sometimes _think_ they know something, but really don
             | 't. You get different stories from a friend's older
             | brother, a coming of age movie, porn, etc. You can't make
             | any assumptions or leave room for interpretation here, so
             | you should still have "The Talk(tm)".
        
             | dvh wrote:
             | The best I've seen is "Son, do not create future
             | obligations!"
        
               | kridsdale1 wrote:
               | This is about how I was told. "Do what you want but don't
               | make me raise another baby while you're a teen!"
        
             | technothrasher wrote:
             | When my son was in preschool, I went to pick him up one day
             | and the teacher took me aside and said, "we were reading a
             | story about a mom and how she had a baby in her tummy, and
             | your son raised his hand and said, 'That's not true. It's
             | in her uterus!'"
             | 
             | I've never had "the talk" with him, I talked to him
             | continuously through his childhood. As he asked questions,
             | I gave him answers.
        
       | ziotom78 wrote:
       | This reminds me of the difficulties Louis XVI and his wife Marie
       | Antoinette had in conceiving an heir:
       | 
       | > In a letter to his brother Leopold, Grand Duke of Tuscany,
       | Joseph II described them as "a couple of complete
       | blunderers."[50] He disclosed to Leopold that the inexperienced--
       | then still only 22-year-old--Louis XVI had confided in him the
       | course of action he had been undertaking in their marital bed;
       | saying Louis XVI "introduces the member," but then "stays there
       | without moving for about two minutes," withdraws without having
       | completed the act and "bids goodnight."
       | 
       | https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marie_Antoinette#Motherhood,_c...
        
         | whycome wrote:
         | I believe that's called "soaking"
         | 
         | https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Soaking_(sexual_practice)
        
           | d1sxeyes wrote:
           | Someone decided that that article needed an illustration.
           | Astounding the breadth and depth of things you can find on
           | the internet.
        
             | justsomehnguy wrote:
             | Oh, Wikipedia is in the constant change of what do need an
             | illustration and what does not or what type it should be.
             | Back in 2009 the most pics in the sex and genital articles
             | had a self-made pics, which even prompted this:
             | Internet access - $25       A digital camera - $250
             | Making the whole world see your vagina - priceless
             | For everything else there is MasterCard
             | 
             | And somewhere in 2018 I discovered what almost all photos
             | in these articles (on the English Wikipedia, other
             | languages didn't changed much) were replaced by the most
             | basic _pictures_ or the illustrations from _19th century_
             | anatomical atlases.
        
         | Mistletoe wrote:
         | This is such a bizarre thing to do from a young
         | man/evolutionary instinct standpoint. I wonder if his hormones
         | were awry. I see speculation that he had hypogonadism or
         | phimosis.
        
           | pavlov wrote:
           | The crown prince of France spent his entire life surrounded
           | by courtiers who would fulfill his every whim. He barely
           | needed to lift a fork to his mouth himself.
           | 
           | Maybe he had depression from this kind of passive lifestyle.
        
             | Symbiote wrote:
             | Reading this, it might be as likely that they didn't
             | sufficiently like each other.
             | 
             | https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Louis_XVI#Marriage_and_family
             | _...
        
             | dfxm12 wrote:
             | I think it follows that people who have everything given to
             | them would turn out to be ungiving lovers, either out of
             | ignorance or expectation.
        
               | ndileas wrote:
               | Sure, but in this particular case he's not even being
               | selfish.
        
               | kridsdale1 wrote:
               | He was also hella inbred. Look at a picture of him. Not
               | too surprising he'd have a messed up endocrine system.
        
             | sdwr wrote:
             | "Important" people get trained into helplessness very
             | quickly. They are the symbol that validates power, but any
             | real action they take is a risk to the movers and shakers
             | surrounding them.
        
           | ANewFormation wrote:
           | It could also simply have been impotence that he did not want
           | to acknowledge.
           | 
           | Made perhaps even more likely with Antoinette's alleged
           | proclivities, her children's questionable paternity, and so
           | on.
        
         | Boogie_Man wrote:
         | Always leave them wanting more
        
       | tgv wrote:
       | The article is --per usual-- not warranting the scope of the
       | title. A more accurate title would be: Some literature possibly
       | used in educating aristocratic English women about sex. The
       | subtitle then would be: while simultaneously plugging my own
       | book.
        
         | janalsncm wrote:
         | A lot of nonfiction writers only do interviews/podcasts when
         | they have a book to plug. I don't mind it, even though it's
         | kind of an ad, because the content is still interesting. I
         | think the authors want to sell their books, but they're
         | typically very interested in the topics and like talking about
         | them for the sake of conversation.
        
       | miniwark wrote:
       | This is a nice text, but it's heavenly oriented to the very upper
       | class society. The author talk a lot about "sexual books" of the
       | times, but you will certainly not find the "Memoirs of a Woman of
       | Pleasure" (Fanny Hill) in the hand of a proper young woman. (this
       | stuff where costly rarities for men too).
       | 
       | It was far more simpler than this, no need for books.
       | 
       | Every rural girls and boys, and women and men living in a city
       | did know, without any books, what there is to know simply by
       | looking at the animals in the farms or the horses and dogs in the
       | streets.
       | 
       | There was also the "education" at the wash-houses... The hubs to
       | know everything there is to now at the time.
        
         | Amezarak wrote:
         | Yeah. If anything, the 20th century was sort of a nadir for
         | this sort of thing, as increasingly large portions of the
         | population became more alienated from the natural world. That
         | made it _possible_ for young kids and teenagers to have no
         | clear idea.
         | 
         | Sex and reproduction was no mystery to almost anyone
         | historically. No doubt people, then as now, maintained various
         | superstitions that _coincidentally_ involved rationalizations
         | for what they wanted to do anyway, but that 's not really a
         | matter of _ignorance_ , so to speak. ("Come on, it's your first
         | time, it will be OK, nothing will happen...whoops!" is not a
         | matter of _ignorance_ generally, but _willful_ ignorance.)
        
         | shellback3 wrote:
         | As for books in the 1700's over 60% of women were not literate
         | so if one happened on one of the books it couldn't be read -
         | but the illustrations would have been interesting to them.
         | 
         | I think that many of the poor lived in habitations where they
         | all slept in one, unlit, room where they would get hints about
         | sex from childhood.
        
         | btilly wrote:
         | It also covers a long time period. The period of extreme
         | prudishness was fairly short, and happened during the Victorian
         | era.
         | 
         | I have a book from the 1850s that was meant to (mis)inform on
         | this topic. The whole masturbation makes people go blind
         | nonsense. For people raised on this kind of book, I can believe
         | that they would not understand sex. For people a few decades
         | earlier, it would be a different story.
        
       | littlestymaar wrote:
       | Aicha Limbada in _La nuit de noces. Une histoire de l 'intimite
       | conjugale_ (in French only) talks about the fact that this
       | "education" was sometime done during the night after the wedding,
       | when the bride was raped by her new husband.
        
         | kridsdale1 wrote:
         | Well that's one step less bad than the German city states with
         | Prima Nocte with the mayor.
        
           | littlestymaar wrote:
           | Isn't that an urban legend? (We have the same kind of stories
           | with lords and peasants in France, and here it's definitely
           | an urban legend).
        
       | velcrovan wrote:
       | For any society where breeding domesticated animals is a familiar
       | aspect of life for most people, I would guess this isn't obscure
       | knowledge.
        
         | xattt wrote:
         | The subtleties of human courtship that enable bilateral
         | pleasure and the principles of animal husbandry are quite
         | orthogonal.
        
           | bckr wrote:
           | Yes, but TFA starts with questioning whether women knew about
           | insertion.
        
           | UniverseHacker wrote:
           | I think that is false, but struggle to explain my point
           | without being excessively graphic. People get a lot of bad
           | advice, that results in people being anxiously stuck in their
           | head during sex, trying to "do a good job" and "pleasure
           | their partner."
           | 
           | The reality is mammals have instincts that make sex
           | pleasurable both both parties, and it is usually shockingly
           | aggressive, even violent seeming. If people could get out of
           | their head and into their body and primal desires- and quite
           | literally act more like an animal, they'd have much better
           | sex.
        
             | Earw0rm wrote:
             | Given that most animals get it done in under a minute for
             | fear of predation or other violence, I'm guessing the
             | author is male.
             | 
             | Chimps and bonobos, our nearest cousins, do have a pretty
             | spectacular sexual toolbox of course that acts as a kind of
             | social lubricant. But it's not all about reproduction, or
             | even pleasure, and quite a lot of what they get up to will
             | get you jailed in most countries.
        
               | UniverseHacker wrote:
               | I am a straight man, but talking from the perspective of
               | what women partners have told me they enjoyed, and were
               | interested in doing repeatedly- and it has consistently
               | involved acting 'dominant/primal,' physically aggressive,
               | and getting deeply into my body and out of my head. Not
               | everyone likes the same thing of course, unlike animals
               | consent, communication, and mutual understanding are key-
               | and much more so than usual when trying things like this.
               | 
               | Counter-intuitively, getting into this headspace makes
               | sex last much longer, not shorter- I suspect human bodies
               | and minds are different from a lot of other mammals in
               | this regard. It is more often that anxiety, tension, and
               | over intellectualizing causes issues with men not lasting
               | long enough.
        
             | gjsman-1000 wrote:
             | You're assuming that if it's natural, it's good.
             | 
             | One glance at the animal kingdom - there are plenty of
             | natural practices that will put you in prison for life.
        
               | UniverseHacker wrote:
               | Not at all- we're mammals but we're also humans, and you
               | need to navigate both sides of that in a way other
               | species never could or would. What I am talking about is
               | essentially a form of BDSM that absolutely requires
               | consent, deep mutual trust, and communication- even more
               | so than usual when trying things like this together with
               | a partner.
        
         | francisofascii wrote:
         | Funny how the animals having no problems figuring it out.
        
           | telesilla wrote:
           | Anyone who has adopted a kitten too young to spay will know
           | very well she knows what to do once her body develops. It's
           | interesting humans know how to eat, drink and ablute but need
           | to be taught in the most essential:reproduce.
           | 
           | Note: true, teenagers! I completely forgot =/
        
             | beAbU wrote:
             | Have you met/seen teenagers?
        
       | hoseja wrote:
       | When you mistake Bridgerton for anything but a funny dress-up for
       | unrooted americans and attempt to legitimize printed porn
       | addictions at the same time.
        
       | amelius wrote:
       | How do they learn it today? Hopefully not from the internet ...
        
       | eadmund wrote:
       | Basing one's knowledge of history on Bridgerton is much like
       | basing one's knowledge of New York City on Metropolis in Superman
       | comics. Bridgerton is completely and totally ahistorical. It's
       | cosplay.
        
       | InDubioProRubio wrote:
       | The puritan moral codex we laugh about today, were actually- sex
       | ed. In a time with unhealable venereal diseases, not going
       | astray, was vital for survival. Stay true or die with syphilis.
       | So- ironic as it sounds, most of the preacher preaching - was the
       | sexed which was the style at the times.
        
         | kergonath wrote:
         | That's post hoc rationalisation. Other cultures had basically
         | the same outcomes without the oppression and obscurantism.
        
           | sombragris wrote:
           | Just arguing for GP. It may be post hoc; but other cultures
           | did not have such trouble with STDs. England, as a naval
           | power, was expected to have such a problem and thus the
           | puritan's advice also had practical benefit.
        
           | like_any_other wrote:
           | Which other cultures were sexually liberated, and did not
           | have trouble with STDs? Large cultures that is, as larger
           | populations are more at risk of disease.
        
       | waltercool wrote:
       | Starting an historical article with Netflix.
       | 
       | No way I'm reading this.
        
         | like_any_other wrote:
         | You short-change yourself. The article mostly consists of how
         | false the Netflix depiction is. Though the author doesn't word
         | it that way, it's a good reminder of how libelous films are of
         | our history.
        
       | sombragris wrote:
       | The writing was somewhat interesting until this:
       | 
       | > I found myself confronting the rise of bans on books that
       | discuss gender identity and sexuality. Today, sexual education in
       | public schools grows increasingly under threat in places like
       | Florida
       | 
       | Please. There are no bans on books discussing such matters. You
       | can purchase them from Amazon and other booksellers, while in
       | 19th century England there were civil and criminal penalties for
       | book publishers for the mere act of publishing. That's quite
       | different. Public schools may ban books only for their own
       | institutions, never for the general public. Any "school ban" does
       | not prevent any parent righteously concerned with censorship to
       | provide their child a copy of such banned book.
        
         | 333c wrote:
         | > There are no bans on books discussing such matters.
         | 
         | contradicts
         | 
         | > Public schools may ban books
        
           | SoftTalker wrote:
           | Not the same. Public schools (and private schools, and any
           | library) choose which books are on their library shelves.
           | They have no control over what is published elsewhere.
        
           | sombragris wrote:
           | You are right. Edited in order to better express myself.
           | Apologies; English is not my first language...
        
         | bobxmax wrote:
         | There are large groups of Americans who believe The Handmaidens
         | Tale is a real potential future. The lack of perspective and
         | melodramatic discord in political theater is exhausting.
        
         | gsk22 wrote:
         | I don't follow your objection. Banning books on sexuality from
         | public schools threatens sexual education in those same
         | schools. That is true even if individual parents can purchase
         | such books for their children on the open market.
         | 
         | The point of universal education is to provide for all
         | students, _especially_ those whose parents are unwilling or
         | unable to provide a quality education independently.
        
           | sombragris wrote:
           | The point is that decisions made by schools about which books
           | they use or not are not equal to legally enforceable book
           | bans for the general public. The article commingles these two
           | ideas. That is the objection.
        
             | gsk22 wrote:
             | The snippet you quoted does not support that objection,
             | though. It is clear from context that the "book bans"
             | referred to are in the realm of public education.
        
       | lo_zamoyski wrote:
       | What prior ages had the sense to do was to confine the subject of
       | sex to private discussion instead of flouting it in public. It
       | also shows a greater reverence and respect for sexual intercourse
       | and sexuality; it is not like having a glass of water, to cite
       | Kollontai. Our unjust mockery and even caricature of previous
       | ages reflects poorly on us.
       | 
       | Public indecency, both in speech and behavior, is a disaster. It
       | has a horrible effect on human relations.
       | 
       | 1. It causes scandal in the traditional meaning of that word.
       | That is, is creates precedent that people will copy, lowering
       | moral standards and causing the spread of bad behavior.
       | 
       | 2. It titillates and exploits the effect sex has on human beings
       | in order to manipulate and evade reason. Why do you think sex
       | appeal is such a big part of marketing?
       | 
       | 3. It stands behind the rise in sexual abuse we say in the 20th
       | century. When decency is normal, the fear of social consequences
       | of being indecent keeps would-be abusers in check. It gives
       | potential victims an easy way to defend themselves. When
       | indecency is normalized, we become desensitized to sexual
       | mistreatment. Protestations are viewed as unreasonable or
       | prudish, and sexual misconduct is even viewed as funny. These
       | accusations have been used to pressure victims into sex.
       | 
       | That being said, not everything was well in the past. I would
       | also not exaggerate how common or popular some of the literature
       | mentioned in the article was (assuming the interpretations are
       | correct; we tend to read our own presuppositions into history,
       | producing anachronism). Pornography also existed back then, but
       | it was not something most people ever came across. It was mostly
       | the product and province of seedy segments of society.
        
         | RiverCrochet wrote:
         | > it is not like having a glass of water
         | 
         | Sometimes I wish it was. Putting it on too high of a pedestal
         | also has negative effects, including introducing unwarranted
         | guilt and getting into irreversible bad relationships simply
         | because you want sex. I would say has more negative effects
         | thnan being open and honest about it.
         | 
         | 1. Scandals are bad due to dishonesty and violated trust in
         | authority, not necessarily talking about sex in public.
         | Societies that repress sexual expression will always treat
         | sexual scandals with more intrigue simply due to repression.
         | 
         | 2. People who are easily manipulated will at some point succumb
         | to some type of manipulation including easier-to-do ones like
         | fear-based manipulation.
         | 
         | 3. Was it a rise in sexual abuse or a rise in _talking_ about
         | sexual abuse?
         | 
         | > When indecency is normalized, we become desensitized to
         | sexual mistreatment.
         | 
         | When "decency" as you describe is normalized, we simply don't
         | hear about sexual mistreatment. The social consequences can
         | work both against and for an abuser.
        
         | dsr_ wrote:
         | > What prior ages had the sense to do was to confine the
         | subject of sex to private discussion instead of flouting it in
         | public
         | 
         | Citation, as they say, needed.
         | 
         | Counterexamples:
         | 
         | The Romans.
         | 
         | The Greeks.
         | 
         | The Babylonians.
         | 
         | The New Kingdom of Egypt.
         | 
         | Most of the Indian cultures prior to the British invasion.
         | 
         | > When decency is normal, the fear of social consequences of
         | being indecent keeps would-be abusers in check.
         | 
         | That would depend strongly on what each culture meant by
         | "decency" and "indecency".
        
         | amanaplanacanal wrote:
         | Was there a rise in sexual abuse in the 20th century? Or did we
         | just shine more light on an ongoing problem?
        
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