[HN Gopher] Always go to the funeral (2005)
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Always go to the funeral (2005)
Author : NaOH
Score : 34 points
Date : 2024-12-16 22:04 UTC (55 minutes ago)
(HTM) web link (www.npr.org)
(TXT) w3m dump (www.npr.org)
| strict9 wrote:
| I agree with this completely.
|
| A small but important suggested addition: if it's someone who's
| funeral you would go to, tell that person _now_ what they mean to
| you. Then they can hear it while they are still alive.
|
| It is not a given that you will have enough time to tell them
| later.
| dylan604 wrote:
| sometimes, not going to the funeral is the message to be said
| and saying it to them "now" is considered rude. clearly, the
| message of not attending is being said to others not to the
| person, but you get the gist
| elzbardico wrote:
| The person died, what message can you want to send to a dead
| person. He/She is dead. He can't hear it. But you can forgive
| and believe me, feel better about whatever happened that made
| you want to send a message that would never be received.
| lordnacho wrote:
| Big life events are always worth a visit if you get invited, and
| you always learn something from the mix of people who attend.
| Whether it's a funeral, wedding, baptism, and so on.
|
| Does this person have friends from childhood? Do his friends come
| from the same place, or all sorts of places? Do they know each
| other, or does he have a lot of singletons there?
|
| Who considers themselves close family? Second cousins? Or did
| their cousins not even come?
|
| How well represented are various social classes?
|
| I always find these things super interesting when I go to one of
| these.
| santoshalper wrote:
| Do the right thing even when you really don't want to is a
| valuable lesson, but I'm not sure I believe that the right thing
| to do is attend funerals for people who you were not actually
| close to. It feels extremely insincere.
| massysett wrote:
| It's not just whether you were close to the deceased; it's do
| you know the survivors. I've attended funerals where I never
| met the deceased but knew a survivor.
| einpoklum wrote:
| A valid point and a good approach. But it's quite a bad pun when
| used as a title here on HN - and with the capitalization, too.
| mooreds wrote:
| Wholeheartedly agree with both the nominal and underlying advice
| here.
|
| Doing the right thing all the time is painful, tedious and can
| cost you. But doing the wrong thing will cost you too. Both
| compound.
|
| The literal advice about going to the funeral is about showing up
| for people who meant something to you. There are only a few
| special times in your life when you get to see a large chunk of
| other people's important people:
|
| * graduations
|
| * coming of age ceremonies
|
| * weddings
|
| * funerals
|
| Being there gives you a special chance to know the person better.
| Just do it.
| smitty1e wrote:
| Ecclesiastes 7:4 "The heart of the wise is in the house of
| mourning; but the heart of fools is in the house of mirth."
|
| https://bible.com/bible/1/ecc.7.4.KJV
| aantix wrote:
| There's been a lot more reflective, humanity stories on HN.
|
| Or maybe I'm just noticing more.
|
| I've been on HN since 2007.
|
| There was that story a few weeks ago with the aging parents and
| their daughter that took a picture of them waving goodbye, each
| year she visited.
|
| I like these stories. It gives me pause and to wonder what it's
| all been for.
|
| Probably for my kids. My second oldest (9) loves creating levels
| in Geometry Dash. He'll probably be an engineer.
|
| He asks great questions. He can teach himself new tricks from
| YouTube videos. He asks for critical feedback on his levels.
| That's a good start.
|
| I'm just rambling.
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