[HN Gopher] My second year without a job
       ___________________________________________________________________
        
       My second year without a job
        
       Author : true_pk
       Score  : 435 points
       Date   : 2024-12-06 20:26 UTC (1 days ago)
        
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       | dyauspitr wrote:
       | I was unemployed for a year at a point and honestly it was the
       | best year of my life in a long time. Yes I went through about
       | $50K but I was able to pursue hobbies, play sports, weightlift,
       | hike, travel, write, play music, spend a lot of time with my wife
       | and daughter and I built an entire second home on my property
       | (all by myself)! That's honestly how life is meant to be lived
       | but it's too bad we're not at UBI levels in society yet.
        
         | dingnuts wrote:
         | Yes, that sounds very nice and you are very privileged and
         | lucky. Leisure is definitely a lot nicer than work, but there's
         | a lot of work someone has to do. You can choose to pay people
         | to work, or not, but if you pay people to not work you have to
         | figure out some other incentive for workers or the necessary
         | work won't get done at all.
         | 
         | I do prefer living in industrialized society to subsistence
         | farming and slavery, personally, so maybe let's try to keep the
         | incentives in place and NOT copy the Soviets, yeah?
         | 
         | And implying that there's a way we're "meant" to live implies
         | we were created by a conscious being with intent, and I think
         | you'll find that's a controversial view
        
           | dyauspitr wrote:
           | I get it, to have a functioning society we need people to
           | work. There is some paradigm in the future where a lot of the
           | labor can be automated, we're just not there yet.
        
         | kbutler wrote:
         | I appreciate that you used that time to build that second home.
         | 
         | Any estimate on the value creation from building that home vs
         | the $50k consumed?
        
           | dyauspitr wrote:
           | It's a full fledged home with 2 bedrooms. I spent ~$75k on
           | materials (outside of the $50k I spent on living expenses).
           | It probably added atleast $100k of value if not more.
        
             | kbutler wrote:
             | Sounds like time well-spent (with all the other activities
             | as well).
        
               | dyauspitr wrote:
               | Thank you, I appreciate it. I thought so too.
        
         | billy99k wrote:
         | "That's honestly how life is meant to be lived but it's too bad
         | we're not at UBI levels in society yet"
         | 
         | This sounds great. My question is why should I have to work and
         | pay for you to do what you want all day?
        
       | overcast wrote:
       | Welcome to the club!
        
       | processing wrote:
       | Exact same situation - 2 years deep here but at a breaking point
       | cannot continue this trajectory.
        
         | to-too-two wrote:
         | I'm depressed studying computer science. Been thinking about
         | quitting seeing how people with years of experience can't even
         | find work.
        
           | unsupp0rted wrote:
           | What's a better alternative?
        
           | shreddit wrote:
           | "Can't find work" can have different meanings for different
           | people. Maybe they just haven't found a job with the pay
           | grade they want.
        
           | processing wrote:
           | if you love computer science don't quit - I'd definitely
           | triple down on real world projects/output rather than just
           | studying though.
           | 
           | I intentionally left to work on projects I wanted to pursue,
           | built a startup that isn't currently covering costs (1
           | customer on an annual plan), lived in Thailand for 6 months
           | (with kids going to to school there), the burn rate on return
           | has taken it's toll (California)...but yeah recently put
           | feelers out for potential work and see it's going to be quite
           | the mission to find work (personally).
        
           | coldpie wrote:
           | There's jobs out there. My company has turnover, which means
           | people are going somewhere, and we're hiring, too. Make
           | Connections!! Any kind of foot in the door is leagues better
           | than cold-applying.
        
           | bdangubic wrote:
           | Absolutely do not quit. The loudest people are ones that
           | cannot find a job, people that do are not going to be writing
           | blogs like "My 27th year as a hacker" - no one will read that
           | shit.
           | 
           | There are roughly 1.5 million software developers alone in
           | the United States. If you love computer science you will
           | excel in this industry for many years after you graduate.
           | Quit only if your heart is not in it, the worst people I've
           | worked with in my 27 year career are ones who obviously went
           | with this career only because it can be a decent way to make
           | a living.
           | 
           | But worry not, if you are end up loving what you do you'll be
           | great at what you do and people that are great at what they
           | do will always be wanted.
        
             | LouisSayers wrote:
             | 100%, and to add to this... people who are just doing it
             | for the money should absolutely quit, because they tend to
             | end up wanting to switch roles or often quit a couple years
             | in anyway.
             | 
             | People that actually enjoy writing software / solving
             | problems are the ones that get ahead.
        
               | metamet wrote:
               | I've also noticed that over the years those are the
               | candidates who are most unable to find a job. And having
               | interviewed a fair number of candidates, the number of
               | passionate devs out there is smaller than you'd expect.
        
               | aprilthird2021 wrote:
               | > people who are just doing it for the money should
               | absolutely quit
               | 
               | I hate to tell you this. But any job that pays as much as
               | a software dev in the USA is going to have 50% or more
               | people who do the job for the money. You can learn to
               | love what you do. But when you're 18 trying to find out
               | what to do, for a lot of people money matters most.
               | 
               | I love being a software dev. I got obsessed when in
               | college, made a lot of pet projects just for fun, kept
               | that energy up throughout my career till I got married
               | and had kids, and I am so glad I made that choice. But if
               | it didn't pay what I knew back in college it pays, I
               | wouldn't have done the job.
        
               | mettamage wrote:
               | I disagree.
               | 
               | I have been in it for the money and also in it because I
               | like it. I don't like it for 8 hours per day but I do
               | like CS.
               | 
               | I don't love it though, and have transitioned since. But
               | having the skill, the background and the grit (due to not
               | loving it), it's awesome.
               | 
               | Just to give a more nuanced perspective. I think the
               | whole love it or leave attitude is too binary.
        
           | raddan wrote:
           | CS professor here. Don't quit. CS has been one of the most
           | enlightening experiences of my life. I have made many friends
           | along the way, been able to participate in inspiring
           | projects, and felt like I worked in a vibrant field that gave
           | me a powerful lens on the world. Yes, it is hard work. But
           | the work is worth it.
           | 
           | Since coming to CS my highs have been higher and my lows
           | lower than in other disciplines. And I came late. I started
           | grad school in my thirties. But something that I learned when
           | I was young, from well before my time in CS is true in this
           | discipline too: if you do good work, people eventually
           | notice. There will be a snowball effect.
           | 
           | It's true, it doesn't work out for everyone. But nothing
           | does. And if you don't take the opportunity to do something
           | difficult, you'll never know if you could have done it. I
           | personally could not live with that thought. Those who do not
           | try cannot succeed. But those who try--and retry when things
           | don't work out--probably will not fail either.
        
             | ta12653421 wrote:
             | ++1
             | 
             | Thanks for this energetic and super-true comment!
             | 
             | Even if OP finishes and decides not work in tech/IT for the
             | rest of the life, having a CS background is VERY solid
             | background for a looooot of jobs. Also, usually you get a
             | good payment.
             | 
             | And never forget what MAdreessen said: "Software is eating
             | the world"
             | 
             | :)
        
               | melvinroest wrote:
               | Recently became a data analyst. It couldn't be more true,
               | my CS background definitely helped me
        
             | 0x1ceb00da wrote:
             | > Jack daniels here. Keep drinking.
             | 
             | \s
        
           | raister wrote:
           | The way I see it, it's not CS per se, it's about solving
           | problems.
           | 
           | You hone that skill, and it will shape your future, whatever
           | field.
           | 
           | You'll never be jobless having that particular skill.
           | 
           | Don't give up.
        
           | enasterosophes wrote:
           | Computer science opens the door to a wide range of work. The
           | lower end of that range is indeed insecure and doesn't pay
           | very well. However, get into the right industry, and you can
           | match a lawyer for income -- without all the hastle and
           | hurdles that junior lawyers have to go through. We're talking
           | easily the upper 4% of income as a junior, eventually going
           | up to 2% or 1% as you gain seniority.
           | 
           | The reason is, there are some skills which are highly in
           | demand, and few people are strong in those skills. In
           | particular, I am thinking of HPC engineering and cloud
           | computing infrastructure engineering. Companies and
           | institutions own large server fleets, we're talking hundreds
           | or thousands of servers. They want whatever is running on
           | those fleets to have high performance, security, and zero
           | downtime.
           | 
           | This kind of work requires strong Linux systems
           | administration and programming skills, an understanding of
           | enterprise networking and storage technologies, confidence
           | with at least one orchestration stack such as OpenStack or
           | Kubernetes, and strong CI/CD and IaC skills (look up GitOps.)
           | As a junior, you don't need to tick all these boxes, but
           | people should be able to see that you're able to learn
           | whatever you're missing.
           | 
           | These skills don't usually come directly from a computer
           | science degree. However, a computer science degree is the
           | primary way to get your foot in the door with building those
           | skills. If you want a junior job in cloud computing and are
           | cold-calling because you don't know anyone yet, then it will
           | help if you have good marks in a computer science degree
           | (although it's possible to prove your chops in other ways,
           | like having a history of strong contributions to open
           | source.)
           | 
           | Later, after you build some experience, and you prove that
           | you can keep learning, you get the job done, and you can get
           | along with people, you'll eventually have recruiters chasing
           | after you, and companies willing to listen to whatever income
           | you pitch to them.
        
             | __turbobrew__ wrote:
             | Second on Cloud Infra and SRE stuff. All the big players
             | need it and you have a lever which can move the moon. If
             | you are good at what you do you will have a massive impact
             | on the company. You hear lots of stories like "I saved my
             | company XXX million dollars per year by turning off
             | versioned objects in S3". I think the hardest part I have
             | had is there is a lot of tacit knowledge in infrastructure,
             | usually you are not the first person to solve a particular
             | problem and anyone who has good industry experience can
             | tell you immediately what you should do. For example I was
             | looking at distributed storage and for kubernetes and was
             | testing out OpenEBS, I spent about 2 months setting it up
             | and getting it working only to find it had some critical
             | shortfalls. Later I was talking with another person from
             | industry and they are like "yea you should just use
             | rook/ceph, everyone uses it". And lo and behold rook solves
             | my problems and works great.
        
             | dmoy wrote:
             | > match a lawyer for income
             | 
             | The low end of lawyers is also way, way lower. Law in the
             | US has a massively bimodal income distribution, way more
             | pronounced than Tech with Finance / Big tech paying more.
             | In law your new grads at big firms may pull $200k or
             | whatever, but the median for the rest is like $50k.
             | 
             | It's pretty brutal if you're not top xy% of your class.
        
           | StressedDev wrote:
           | You will find work. One thing to keep in mind is the job
           | market goes in cycles. Right now, finding work is hard but
           | things will eventually pick up. Here is some advice for job
           | hunting:
           | 
           | 1) DO NOT GIVE UP 2) You don't need every skill the employer
           | is asking for. What you need are the major skills the job
           | requires and the ability to pickup the rest on the job. 3)
           | Only apply for jobs where you are a good fit. 4) While job
           | hunting, spend time each day learning a new skill. It can be
           | a programming language, a technology, or something
           | interesting. 5) Once you get a job, save lots of money. It
           | helps you make it through lean times and sets you up for a
           | nice retirement.
           | 
           | One last thing. If your depression does not let up after 6
           | months, I strongly recommend seeing a therapist and a
           | psychiatrist. I wish you luck. Things will get better.
        
             | hilux wrote:
             | In the US, any good therapist is very expensive and not
             | covered by insurance.
        
               | Schiendelman wrote:
               | This isn't true. Honestly every time I've looked, a
               | therapist taking my typical insurance just took making
               | about 50 phone calls. Most people make five phone calls
               | and then give up.
        
               | em-bee wrote:
               | "just" is doing a lot of heavy lifting here.
               | 
               | sure, 5 calls may be giving up to early. but 50? if i
               | give up after 40 calls does that mean i haven't been
               | trying hard enough?
        
               | hilux wrote:
               | There's a reason I said "good therapist." That's
               | completely different from "any licensed therapist."
               | 
               | You're just proving my point - you had to make 50 calls
               | to reach "any licensed therapist" covered by your
               | insurance.
               | 
               | Why do you think the other 49 weren't in-network? It's
               | because, if they're good, they can make much more out-of-
               | network, direct billing patients.
        
           | bawolff wrote:
           | Tech job market flucuates like any other field. Its in a
           | downturn right now. Won't be forever.
           | 
           | Still, you have to do what is right for you. The downturn
           | might end tomorrow. It might take a decade. Nobody knows.
        
           | LouisSayers wrote:
           | If it helps, I have years of experience and got 2 offers
           | (good ones too) after applying to a handful of companies in
           | March this year.
           | 
           | If you are skilled, can talk to people and aren't afraid to
           | put in the yards to prepare for interviews you'll do just
           | fine.
        
           | rsynnott wrote:
           | At least in the original post, my reading was not that they
           | couldn't find work, but that they had quit to go do startup
           | stuff.
           | 
           | The (tech) job market is definitely not great at the moment,
           | but I do think people are overstressing how bad it is a bit,
           | and in any case these things are cyclical. I started a CS
           | degree in 2003, just after the dot-com crash, and finished in
           | 2007, just heading into the financial crisis. Both of those
           | kind of cratered the job market for a bit, but it recovered.
        
         | vivzkestrel wrote:
         | try 10 years because i havent made a dime since 2016
        
           | StressedDev wrote:
           | If this is not by choice, I hope you solve your problems and
           | I hope things get better. Please do not give up.
        
           | oldpersonintx wrote:
           | go work at Costco
           | 
           | its money
        
       | skwee357 wrote:
       | I had a period of 6 months when I was unemployed burning through
       | my savings.
       | 
       | It was one of the best times of my life. Like the author, I
       | focused a lot of entrepreneurship, my mental and physical health,
       | and traveled a lot.
       | 
       | But unlike the author, I came back to the workforce. I don't know
       | what's the end game for the author, but I kind of feel torn here.
       | 
       | On one side, I'd say that it's way easier to focus on building a
       | business when you don't have a job. On the other side, not having
       | money to live on would stress me so much that I'm not sure I'd be
       | able to do sport or engage in hobbies, let alone build a
       | business.
        
         | true_pk wrote:
         | Hi! Author here. You are very much on point. I only recently
         | started looking for part-time jobs, and perhaps I should have
         | mentioned it in the post. It's precisely what you said --
         | financial stress started impacting my hobbies and sports, and
         | that's where I don't feel as comfortable anymore.
        
           | skwee357 wrote:
           | Wishing you the best! I think if you will be able to find a
           | part time job that will cover your lifestyle financially,
           | while dedicating the other half to entrepreneurship and
           | hobbies/sport, it's the best
        
           | chr15m wrote:
           | Good luck man, glad you had a great two years, thanks for
           | sharing!
           | 
           | Also, keep operating costs super cheap so you can keep the
           | side hustle going and watch it grow over years. Don't shut it
           | down unless you have to.
           | 
           | To make $600/m you would have to invest $180k at 5%, so from
           | that perspective you have created something valuable already.
        
         | chasd00 wrote:
         | > unemployed burning through my savings.
         | 
         | did that include retirement savings? Are you behind or on track
         | for when you're inevitably too old to work?
        
           | skwee357 wrote:
           | In fact, I touched only cash in the bank, I never sold any
           | stocks, nor I ever touched the pension (not that I believe in
           | pension too much, but I also can't withdraw it without paying
           | a hefty penalty).
           | 
           | Being "on track" is kind of an illusion to me. I believe it's
           | impossible to plan for more than 2-3 years ahead, let alone
           | 20. I live below my means, invest as much as I can while
           | finding a healthy balance between enjoying the moment and
           | planning for the future.
        
         | UncleOxidant wrote:
         | > But unlike the author, I came back to the workforce. I don't
         | know what's the end game for the author, but I kind of feel
         | torn here.
         | 
         | His timing wasn't great. The tech job market is pretty dismal
         | right now and will likely be dismal for a while. Unless we get
         | back to a hot tech job market like circa 2020-2022 it's not
         | going to be easy to find a gig after being out for 2 years.
        
           | JesseTG wrote:
           | You're telling me...
        
             | UncleOxidant wrote:
             | In July 2001 I quit my tech job of 8 years so I could take
             | some time to de-stress and work on projects thinking I
             | could just jump back into a job 6 months later. Of course,
             | that timing was _really_ bad. Since there weren 't any tech
             | jobs available, in the Fall of 2002 I decided to go back to
             | school and get a masters. We had a few months in 2003 where
             | I made just enough money to get by by going to the Goodwill
             | outlet store and buying books that could be sold online for
             | a profit - Goodwill got wise to that arbitrage and started
             | their own online store which kind of put an end to that.
             | Had a few contract jobs in there that lasted anywhere from
             | 4 to 6 months, even had a summer internship (at age 40!
             | That interview was interesting), but it wasn't until 2006
             | that I found something permanent again. Fortunately we had
             | paid off our house back in 1999 otherwise it would've been
             | even scarier.
        
       | itake wrote:
       | I've taken a similar path:
       | 
       | I probably will continue bouncing back and forth for the rest of
       | my career.
        
       | declan_roberts wrote:
       | If anyone else finds themself in this position, I highly
       | recommend you sell what you can, pack the rest up into a storage
       | unit, and travel, 4 or 6 months in each location.
       | 
       | $80k can easily last you 4+ years of very comfortable living in
       | much of the world. Enjoy the food, really try and learn some of
       | the local language, and enjoy yourself.
       | 
       | You can do it, and there won't be another window.
        
         | skwee357 wrote:
         | Not only you suddenly will get the entire week for yourself, to
         | do whatever you want, and you will be able to travel, but the
         | other benefit is reviewing your relationship with material
         | possessions.
         | 
         | I did that (sold everything, and went traveling), and now I own
         | very little stuff. Apart from the mandatory laptop I need for
         | work, and clothes, I couldn't care less about everything else.
         | 
         | Before selling everything, I had a sick setup of dual monitors,
         | and external DAC, speakers, headphones, keyboards, etc. Today,
         | I need only laptop. I was considering getting one monitor, but
         | can't seem to justify the need.
         | 
         | It really teaches you how little material crap you need.
        
           | deadbabe wrote:
           | You listed a bunch of crap most people wouldn't buy anyways.
           | 
           | The bulk of what people own are things like furniture,
           | artworks, plants, appliances, cookware... etc. Not
           | particularly sexy, but essential for making a cozy place to
           | live in the world.
        
             | skwee357 wrote:
             | What I failed to mention is not only about the stuff you
             | own, but in general your relationship with material
             | possessions.
             | 
             | Before selling everything, I'd constantly worry about
             | whether I should get a third monitor, maybe try a curved
             | one, get a new keyboard, upgrade the TV, get a new kitchen
             | appliance, replace the sofa, etc. There's always "newer and
             | better" for everything.
             | 
             | Nowadays, I don't care anymore. I bought a TV because we
             | like watching movies, but I don't care about the technology
             | or the next shiny thing. Same with my computer, I work on a
             | 14" laptop for the past two years, and I no longer feel
             | like I should chase a better or newer setup.
        
               | deadbabe wrote:
               | The point is that even though you're not chasing material
               | possessions, you're still probably chasing something.
        
               | skwee357 wrote:
               | True, I do chase freedom (always did), mainly time
               | freedom and financial freedom.
               | 
               | I bet being able to spend time with the people I love the
               | most is way more important that having the latest and
               | greatest TV or fridge.
        
               | handzhiev wrote:
               | You may be surprised but the majority of people who own
               | stuff do not worry whether they should get a third
               | monitor or a new kitchen appliance. We just use some
               | items and don't care much about them. If the TV breaks
               | I'd look for a new one, but otherwise I don't care.
        
           | grogenaut wrote:
           | I wouldn't call dual monitors sick, barely entry level,
           | but... https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B08NSW5F8V they make
           | good cheap external portable monitors that are laptop thin or
           | thinner.
        
             | culopatin wrote:
             | lol the person is happy with the minimal life and here we
             | are trying to fix it for them pushing Amazon links.
        
               | 05 wrote:
               | And 8K VR goggles are clearly superior to external
               | displays as a travel setup :))
        
           | Aeolun wrote:
           | I always think laptop only is fine, and then I suddenly have
           | a screen and realize how much happier my neck is every day.
        
         | imbusy111 wrote:
         | Would not recommend, if being alone is a risk factor to mental
         | health.
        
         | insane_dreamer wrote:
         | My brother and his wife did this; quit their jobs and spent a
         | year in Europe "slow living" (still did a bit of consulting
         | work, maybe 10 hours/week), but with careful planning were able
         | to keep their expenses waaay down (not sure of exact figure but
         | much less than if living in the US). Month-long AirBNBs in non-
         | tourist areas are inexpensive, so they'd spend 1 month in each
         | place. A lot of walking, hiking, trains, just living. Not
         | Paris, London or Zurich of course, but places like Albania,
         | Montenegro, Portugal, Greece, Turkey, France of course. (Part
         | of the reason for going to those countries is you can only
         | spend so long in the Schengen Zone.) So you don't have to go as
         | far as Vietnam or Ecuador to do this.
         | 
         | Obviously the OP has no children (and my brothers' kids are
         | grown up) - if you have kids this changes the equation
         | completely (though if they're very young then it can still
         | work).
        
           | Loughla wrote:
           | I have a cousin and his wife who did this with kids. They
           | sold everything, bought an RV, and traveled north and Central
           | America. They were homeschooling during that time. Their kids
           | were 5 and 7.
           | 
           | It was not good.
           | 
           | I cannot stress enough how bad of an idea this is unless your
           | children are under 3. Children need structure and permanency.
           | They need friends, not just acquaintances. My cousin did
           | everything else right, but his kids still have issues with
           | relationships because 5 of their very formative years were
           | spent without actual friends. It's really sad to think about.
           | 
           | For him, it was a wildly selfish move that negatively
           | impacted his children. Don't be that guy.
        
             | samvher wrote:
             | What does issues with relationships mean in this context?
             | 
             | Also, it sounds like they were traveling for 5 years? Yeah,
             | that does sound like a very long time - I imagine if it had
             | been 1 year or so it might have been a very different story
             | (?)
        
             | rikafurude21 wrote:
             | I dont really see the issue here? Obviously the parents are
             | the stable anchor in that situation, and the kids probably
             | had a great time traveling and exploring the world with
             | their parents. I would honestly prefer that compared to the
             | usual childhood experience you get nowadays, which is
             | sitting around watching youtube brainrot right after being
             | subjected to public school brainrot for 8 hours.
        
               | geraldwhen wrote:
               | Kids need structure and permanency. This is child abuse,
               | and I know people who have done it. Their kids are a
               | mess, and it breaks my heart.
        
               | galangalalgol wrote:
               | Humans have been nomads for most of our existence. I
               | think if the traveling group had been larger so that
               | there were consistent friendships of various ages that it
               | might have gone differently. Carnival workers are a
               | modern example in NA, they have traveling homeschools as
               | they go to each ren-fair or whatever. So there are
               | permanent friends, but the structure is pretty lacking.
        
               | SoftTalker wrote:
               | Yes I know a woman who grew up this way, moving every
               | couple of years, nothing ever permanent. As an adult, she
               | has lived a life of self-sabotage, quitting jobs, moving
               | and starting over, in and out of relationships with self-
               | destructive men, never saving any money, never really
               | planning for the future.
        
               | raddan wrote:
               | My family moved nearly every year (and sometimes twice a
               | year) until I was in high school. I loved the changes. I
               | liked that when I went someplace new, the only thing my
               | peers knew about me was what I told them. I made many
               | friends over the years and I'd like to think that I am
               | happy. So YMMV.
        
               | rvba wrote:
               | With how many of those friends do you still talk?
               | 
               | *Liking facebook photos does not count.
        
               | BehindBlueEyes wrote:
               | How many childhood friend does anyone still talk to
               | beyond liking photos on facebook?
        
               | zrobotics wrote:
               | I mean, the adult life you describe doesn't sound
               | different from my brother, and growing up we moved once.
               | 
               | Edit: my brother grew up into a child abusing POS by
               | neglecting his kids, but let's looks at statistics VS
               | anecdotes since individuals from all backgrounds can be
               | garbage people.
        
               | hi_hi wrote:
               | You just described a good friend of mine. He's one of the
               | smartest and most capable people I know, but could never
               | get out of his own way.
        
               | LouisSayers wrote:
               | And I went to 7 different schools growing up, have since
               | lived in several countries, have a master's degree and
               | money in the bank.
               | 
               | Correlation != Causation. People are different and
               | respond differently to various situations.
               | 
               | For me personally, having been in lots of places means I
               | always have people to visit and in many cases a place to
               | stay.
        
               | borski wrote:
               | This is correlation. Plenty of people are brought up this
               | way and are completely fine, and plenty of people are
               | just like this and stayed in one place their entire
               | lives.
        
               | Invictus0 wrote:
               | I know a woman who grew up in the typical way, in a
               | stable loving household. As an adult, she has lived a
               | life of self-sabotage, quitting jobs, moving and starting
               | over, in and out of relationships with self-destructive
               | men, never saving any money, never really planning for
               | the future.
        
               | insane_dreamer wrote:
               | > Kids need structure and permanency. This is child abuse
               | 
               | Sorry, but this is BS.
               | 
               | Structure, yes. Permanency, no.
               | 
               | And certainly not child abuse.
               | 
               | I know just as many examples of people with this
               | experience, for whom it was amazingly positive and
               | contributed to the successful people they are today.
        
               | lenkite wrote:
               | There is an _extraordinary_ amount of scientific evidence
               | that frequent moving during childhood _severely_ impacts
               | child psychology. I am not even sure how you can say it
               | is BS while throwing up anecdotal experience.
        
               | stogot wrote:
               | The original OP is an anecdote. Could you link the
               | extraordinary data? I want to see how they can
               | empirically test this
        
               | lenkite wrote:
               | Honestly, you can very easily find this yourself.
               | Multiple independent studies carried out across both
               | organizations and nations have shown this.
               | 
               | https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC4866579/
               | 
               | https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S135382
               | 921...
               | 
               | For the layman:
               | 
               | https://www.nytimes.com/2024/07/17/health/moving-
               | childhood-d...
               | 
               | https://www.psychiatrist.com/news/moving-even-once-in-
               | childh...
               | 
               | https://www.verywellmind.com/moving-depression-and-your-
               | chil...
        
               | LouisSayers wrote:
               | And how much of this is just correlation and not due to
               | mobility per se?
               | 
               | From the first link you provided:
               | 
               | > Firstly, increased risk for onset of mental disorders
               | between mid-adolescence and early middle age could be a
               | consequence of serious and enduring difficulties within
               | families, rather than being a direct result of
               | residential mobility. Relocation occurs more commonly
               | amongst single parent and step families and those from
               | lower socioeconomic background
        
               | lenkite wrote:
               | It cannot be dismissed as mere "correlation". These
               | studies have been carried out on people of middle-class
               | background too. Esp children of defense service personnel
               | who have experienced frequent mobility. And studies
               | carried out by different nations AND different cultures
               | as well! Mental well-being is not mathematics - you
               | cannot proof a definite cause with utterly no ambiguity.
               | 
               | Unfortunately, you took one single "could be" sentence
               | out of an entire gamut of data confirming mobility-
               | related mental health issues in children and completely
               | ignored the _conclusions_ section in that same paper, so
               | I think you have already severely hardened your position
               | and are unlikely to be convinced by anything I offer.
               | 
               | I would suggest simply talking to a practicing
               | psychologist about this - you would probably be _far_
               | more convinced than a HN commenter. Actually, this is
               | where I first found out the same - I didn 't know about
               | this until a consultation with a psychologist.
               | 
               | (You can also ask your AI buddies - ChatGPT also
               | confirmed it with several case studies offered.)
        
               | borski wrote:
               | Literally the first three proposed explanations in the
               | discussion of the findings in the meta-study you linked
               | are correlational. It is only the fourth proposed
               | explanation that suggests a possible causal relationship.
        
               | Glyptodon wrote:
               | At the same time I doubt anyone would use that kind of
               | thing as evidence for forcibly settling nomadic cultures.
               | I'm somewhat curious because I'm sure they try to do
               | things like divorce socioeconomic factors, abuse,
               | poverty, and other negatives from such a conclusion. But
               | as someone who moved 7 times through 7th grade and
               | attended at least 6 different schools through that
               | interval, I'm generally quite grateful to _not_ have been
               | dulled and stultified by living in one place my whole
               | life. To the point that I 've contemplated planning at
               | least one or two significant moves so my own children
               | don't end up excessively influenced by whatever locality
               | specific tints and delusions color a place. (Maybe
               | another way to put it is its easier to boil frogs that
               | have always lived in the same pot.) But I also do think
               | it's nice for kids to have a solid friend group for a
               | good part of childhood, and so forth. I suspect there's
               | got to be a lot more complexity to this. (And I will say
               | I do think there's a connection between moving a lot and
               | loneliness, but I view loneliness as distinct from
               | generalized depression. But totally not scientific.)
        
               | hilux wrote:
               | Most of your "evidence" has to do with kids moving
               | between foster homes, or families running out in the
               | middle of the night because they don't have money to make
               | rent.
               | 
               | That is nothing like what we are discussing here.
        
               | lenkite wrote:
               | No, this is _extensively_ tested and include educated,
               | higher social-class and stable families. Make a
               | consultation with a practicing psychologist if you doubt
               | the dozens of studies carried out across nations in both
               | the West and the East.
               | 
               | "Even AFTER accounting for family background and
               | achievement at the end of kindergarten, mobile students
               | had significantly lower reading and math achievement
               | tests scores in seventh grade."
               | 
               | "Frequent relocation was associated with higher rates of
               | all measures of child dysfunction; 23% of children who
               | moved frequently had repeated a grade vs 12% of children
               | who never or infrequently moved. Eighteen percent of
               | children who moved frequently had four or more behavioral
               | problems vs 7% of children who never or infrequently
               | moved. Use of logistic regression to control for
               | potential confounding covariates demonstrated that
               | children who moved frequently were 77% more likely to be
               | reported to have four or more behavioral problems"
        
               | hilux wrote:
               | If you're going to quote studies, you should cite then.
               | Then we can pick apart what "mobile" means to your ivory
               | tower researchers, which is almost definitely not
               | "traveling the world as a healthy, happy, family unit."
               | 
               | Diplomats travel with their families. Employees of multi-
               | nationals travel. US military travel. At least that last
               | group (i.e. their kids) I know does better than average.
        
               | 317070 wrote:
               | Not OP, but he's quoting this article:
               | https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/7689659/
        
               | hilux wrote:
               | Thanks.
               | 
               | It seems to me that their survey intermingles two very
               | different groups - the larger group, those who moved due
               | to extreme financial insecurity (who would do MUCH
               | worse), and those who moved under "positive"
               | circumstances.
        
               | interloxia wrote:
               | The study of Third Culture Kids and the trouble they have
               | is probably a good example of research on the topic that
               | doesn't focus on foster kids.
               | 
               | A specific research paper isn't necessary in my opinion
               | for this site and topic, but Wikipedia is a simple
               | starting point to find some.
               | 
               | https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Third_culture_kid
        
               | stogot wrote:
               | This is not child abuse. It's an anecdote of two kids.
               | I'm sure the parents were very loving. Another pair of
               | kids could turn out perfectly fine doing this.
        
               | jmcgough wrote:
               | In the above scenario, they were depriving their kids of
               | any kind of meaningful friendship with peers during a
               | critical development period. This is neglect, and neglect
               | is abuse in children. If you care about your children,
               | why would you risk permanently impairing their ability to
               | form healthy relationships?
        
               | piuantiderp wrote:
               | I'm not sure the average school peers are any better.
               | Unless we're talking private education. Do consider that
               | for the better part of history, even in school, kids were
               | not separated into years.
               | 
               | That they need permanency, sure but that's the parents
               | and the living situation
        
               | stogot wrote:
               | Agreed, separation into school grades by age is not
               | normal or healthy. And abuse often happens in school.
               | 
               | You could argue more soundly that modern schools are
               | child abuse if we follow the commenter's line of
               | reasoning.
        
               | zrobotics wrote:
               | It's presumptuous to claim child abuse, since we
               | fundamentally know very little about the situation.
               | 
               | I wouldn't say it's abuse, but it's certainly depriving
               | the kids from learning how to develop socially. They
               | aren't learning how to maintain friendships, and are
               | being implicitly taught that such connections are
               | disposable.
               | 
               | I've had the misfortune to see actual child abuse, from
               | the story presented in the OP it doesn't rise even close
               | to that level. Let's please reserve words/phrases like
               | that for situations that warrant it.
               | 
               | It may not be an ideal parenting strategy, but claiming
               | it's abuse cheapens the word. Are the children being fed
               | properly? Are they being physically/sexually harmed? I've
               | unfortunately had to intervene in a situation with my
               | niece that involved the above 3.
               | 
               | The parenting method in the OP may not be ideal, but
               | plenty of people have had childhoods like that My mom
               | grew up moving every 5-8 months, her dad was a contractor
               | for the TVA. There are still people who follow around
               | contracting work. Please don't minimize that actual harm
               | caused by child abuse by cheapening the term.
        
               | Aeolun wrote:
               | While one is undoubtedly worse than the other, I don't
               | think it's a good idea to say it's not abuse because it's
               | not as bad as the worst possible variety.
               | 
               | I happen to agree this probably doesn't rise to the level
               | of child abuse, but there's a large range between there
               | and unfed/physically/sexually harmed.
               | 
               | We shouldn't cheapen it, but we shouldn't make it too
               | expensive either.
        
               | borski wrote:
               | You're right. But this is decidedly not abuse; it's a
               | parenting style that many are unaccustomed to, and
               | perhaps doesn't work as well in the US, I have no idea.
               | 
               | But it's not abuse.
               | 
               | You're correct that physical/sexual harm and malnutrition
               | are not the only things that constitute abuse either,
               | though.
        
               | UniverseHacker wrote:
               | I am into sailing and know a bunch of people that grew up
               | "cruising the world" on sailboats with their parents.
               | They're almost all well adjusted, successful, and have
               | unusually good social skills from learning how to make
               | friends with people from other cultures. I think the
               | structure and permanence that kids need is emotionally
               | mature and available parents- the physical part is not
               | the important part. Also, kids can have mental health
               | problems and developmental disorders that have nothing to
               | do with parenting- and it's pretty awful to blame parents
               | for their kids problems unless they intentionally abused
               | them.
        
               | borski wrote:
               | This is precisely the first thing I thought of. You can
               | absolutely provide structure and strong friendships
               | without physical proximity.
        
               | withinboredom wrote:
               | Hol up. Sailing culture is VERY different from RV
               | culture. I lived on a sailboat for years, going up and
               | down the US coast, startup hopping. The sailing culture
               | is very friendly, especially to kids (who are treated
               | more like small adults than children). The people I met
               | along the way are life-long friends. If I needed a ride
               | to an auto store to pick up new house batteries, engine
               | parts, or even to a Walmart, there were always people to
               | give me a ride.
               | 
               | RV culture is much more lonely and expects people to be
               | more self-sufficient. If you need help, there may or may
               | not be people to help you; for sure, the whole campsite
               | won't jump to help, unlike a marina.
               | 
               | At least, that was my experience.
        
               | jhives wrote:
               | I don't think that's true of RV culture at all. I
               | currently live on the road with my partner, and while we
               | don't yet have kids, we've met dozens of families and
               | many more dozens of kids. All were more than capable of
               | socializing and making friends, both with adults and
               | other kids, and could often be found running around
               | whatever campground or forest we were parked at.
               | Certainly you can live a very isolated life on the road,
               | but just like when living in a house if you put yourself
               | out there there is a welcoming community that will
               | respond.
        
               | UniverseHacker wrote:
               | Yes, I absolutely love how other adults in the sailing
               | community treat my kid with kindness and respect, and
               | listen to them the same as any adult. Sailing is somewhat
               | of a dying thing- few young people do it and the older
               | people are mostly really excited to see kids in the
               | community.
               | 
               | We don't actually live on a sailboat in the sense of this
               | discussion, but a lot of our friends do.
        
               | geraldwhen wrote:
               | It's funny you mention sailing. The couple people I know
               | who grew up on a boat sailing like you describe no longer
               | talk to their parents and long for a normal childhood
               | they didn't have.
        
               | UniverseHacker wrote:
               | I sounds to me like you are really upset about something
               | awful that happened to you or people you care about, and
               | not sharing the full story.
        
               | Invictus0 wrote:
               | Please don't trivialize child abuse like this.
        
             | declan_roberts wrote:
             | What exactly was not good?
        
             | Brian_K_White wrote:
             | I would say don't be the guy judging another parent, or
             | another anyone, for simply living their own life
             | differently than you happened to choose to live yours. A
             | different lifestyle isn't child abuse. Get over yourself.
             | 
             | We moved a lot as kids due to my dads jobs. It was nothing
             | you can point at and call call crazy like living in a rv,
             | just normal jobs like a million people have to deal with,
             | yet has essentially the same effect as your nomad rv story.
             | Some time in the air force followed by different
             | electronics and computer engineering jobs that just
             | resulted in a significant move every couple of years.
             | 
             | Depending on my mood I can say I didn't make a lot of
             | friends or that I made exactly normal friends, and that any
             | weirdness about me was caused by that, or was my own nature
             | and that didn't change anything. I can think of argumants
             | that sound reasonable both ways, and I can cite various
             | facts (things about me, events and outcomes in my life,
             | etc, and the same about others with different events and
             | outcomes) that support both ways.
             | 
             | Which means what I choose to say or blame says more about
             | me than anything else.
             | 
             | Every thing you can say about stability I can say something
             | equal about conformity.
        
             | insane_dreamer wrote:
             | I think it depends on the children and duration. 5 years
             | might have been too long -- you start getting to age 10-12
             | stable friends become more important. But I know plenty of
             | people who did it for a couple of years with kids -
             | homeschooling - and it was a great opportunity for them.
             | 
             | Our neighbors a few years back had spent years living on a
             | boat with their child up until age 6, I think it was, and
             | it was great. And their daughter had a very positive
             | experience. But yeah, once she was older they moved
             | onshore.
             | 
             | I don't think moving itself has a negative effect. If you
             | stay long enough for your kids to establish friendships,
             | sometimes those friendships can remain when you move. My 8
             | year old boy still plays almost daily online + FaceTime
             | with his friend from 1st grade in another city even though
             | they were only a year together they established a bond that
             | is very strong years later and they haven't seen each
             | other. They're still best friends.
             | 
             | The usual YMMV.
        
             | em-bee wrote:
             | i used to think that moving frequently when i was young was
             | the cause of why i didn't make any friends, but i realized
             | that there was much more to it. if the kids have
             | relationship issues, then i suspect it wasn't the frequent
             | travel that caused that but it may also have been
             | relationship issues with the parents as well. staying in
             | one place and going to school may have mitigated the issue
             | or it may have not. we can't say. my parents went through a
             | divorce when we moved, and we didn't get any help from
             | family or community while my parents tried to sort out
             | their lives. there wasn't much, if anything they could have
             | done better. the things that happened were more or less
             | unavoidable.
             | 
             | obviously i don't know your cousin, but before you blame
             | him, consider that there may have been other factors that
             | you can't see, that were beyond their control.
             | 
             | the worst thing in my experience is relatives who think
             | they know what i am doing wrong as a parent, without
             | understanding the whole picture. (friends too, but once
             | friends do that, they are no longer friends). try not to be
             | that person.
        
               | 0x1ceb00da wrote:
               | Homeschooled kids are overfitted to their training data
               | (parents).
        
             | tbrownaw wrote:
             | Shouldn't something that unavoidably severe show up pretty
             | clearly at a population level for military kids? I'd think
             | there'd be some high-profile lawsuits by now.
        
               | lumost wrote:
               | Military kids hang out with other military kids for
               | protracted periods (6+ months). Living in an ev in a
               | foreign country where you don't speak the language is
               | different.
        
               | weard_beard wrote:
               | We used to call them, "military brats". Just like they
               | used to call PTSD, "He lost his marbles. Couldn't take
               | the stress like a real man."
        
               | nemo wrote:
               | If you want to debate something, don't pick another
               | person's experience. There's no winning that.
        
               | zrobotics wrote:
               | I mean, 'military brat' is definitely a stereotype. I'm
               | not a sociologist so not familiar with relevant research,
               | but I would be shocked if it hadn't been studied.
               | 
               | One thing I would point out is that military kids are in
               | a far different scenario than the OP's cousins kids.
               | Military kids will grow up moving from base to base, but
               | the schools around bases are fundamentally different.
               | Those are schools where teachers are used to student
               | turnover, and the students are as well. OP talked about
               | kids that were in a more nomadic situation, where they
               | could only form brief <1mo friendships. The local culture
               | of these communities is also used to and adapted somewhat
               | to this.
               | 
               | That sounds like childhood trauma to me, the closest
               | analog might not be military children but the foster care
               | system. Not a 100% analog, since presumably the OP's
               | cousins kids didn't have the pre-existing trauma that
               | entry into that system necessitates, but that is the
               | closest conventional analog I can think of. Moving around
               | constantly into communities that aren't necessarily set
               | up to deal with that is rough.
        
               | CalRobert wrote:
               | My mom was a navy brat in the 60's and 70's and she
               | didn't like moving all the time, but has said that having
               | a bunch of other families right next door all with little
               | kids and stay at home moms actually made for a pretty
               | great childhood.
        
             | pinkmuffinere wrote:
             | I totally agree this is bad for the kids. Fwiw please try
             | to encourage the kids to break out of their shell and
             | socialize in college/high school/when they can. I moved a
             | ton growing up, went to four different high schools, etc,
             | and had a really hard time being "normal" with other
             | people. In grad school I got a TA position that forced me
             | to do 1:1 meetings with ~300 new students every semester,
             | and that experience taught me how to be more normal. I'm
             | still weird, but at least can fit in with Bay Area
             | engineers. All this to say -- I didn't have their
             | experience, but I think they can ameliorate it
        
               | hi_hi wrote:
               | Weird doesn't exist. You are not weird. You are not
               | normal.
               | 
               | This may be different to your situation, but when i was
               | younger I wanted people to like me, and if they didn't
               | I'd blame myself for being weird. Now I'm older, I don't
               | give a shit if people like me or not, and I've stopped
               | thinking of myself as weird.
        
               | pinkmuffinere wrote:
               | I agree to some extent, and I am getting better at just
               | being comfortable in my own skin, but I think social
               | conventions matter too. Eg I shouldn't act overly
               | surprised when someone says they're a morning person, but
               | I should/can do that when they say they're pregnant. If
               | you get too many conventions wrong, people are
               | uncomfortable lol
               | 
               | Edit: I realized I didn't respond as directly as I'd like
               | to. I think I do want people to like me, and that's ok. I
               | think it's also ok to not care
        
               | hi_hi wrote:
               | Thank you for the considered and insightful response.
               | This is obviously a deeply person topic and each
               | individual will have their own take on how they feel.
               | 
               | I think the key point in all of this, which you and
               | others highlighted, is weird vs not weird is very much a
               | consequence of social conventions. It's also important,
               | generally speaking, to fit into these conventions to
               | facilitate social cohesion. There are obviously extremes,
               | which are outside of my considerations here.
               | 
               | I should have put more effort into my original comment
               | but I was in a rush at the time. This bit might not apply
               | to you, I don't know you, these are just my own poor
               | articulations. Feeling like you are weird, or don't fit
               | in, or make people uncomfortable, basically comes down to
               | peoples reflections of their judgement on you. This is
               | inescapable and to judge is human nature. But being on
               | the wrong side of it, for long enough, can lead to a very
               | negative mental state. Having the ability to realise you
               | are not responsible for other peoples feelings is
               | important. And also realising these feelings are largely
               | dictated by the society you find yourself in is also
               | important. These things can be changed, social circles
               | need not be permanent, and should probably be changed if
               | leading to a negative mental state, brought about because
               | you feel you don't fit in.
               | 
               | I stand by my original point that there is no such thing
               | as weird or normal, anymore so than some cultures or
               | societies can appear weird or normal, which is highly
               | relative. Otherwise intelligent and conscientious people
               | should not believe themselves to be less than they are
               | because they are at odds with their current time and
               | place. As Yuval Noah Harari would say, society is a
               | fiction.
        
               | pinkmuffinere wrote:
               | Don't worry at all, I think your original post was fine
               | too, and I agree with what you say! I think some of this
               | comes down to personal preference, how you want to relate
               | to the world, and who you want to surround yourself with.
               | "Different strokes for different folks" :)
        
               | kortilla wrote:
               | Weird definitely exists. If you can't form social
               | connections well with pretty much everyone you run into,
               | you're weird. You can pontificate about the proper
               | terminology but that's the one society understands.
        
               | Earw0rm wrote:
               | I don't entirely buy that, I'd suggest there's a fair
               | sized chunk of sampling bias in that statement.
               | 
               | Simply because the sample of people we encounter socially
               | is skewed towards the pro-social, and the ones we notice
               | and remember, doubly so.
               | 
               | There's a lot more quiet, reserved, low-key people out
               | there than we realise, and most of them aren't weird.
               | 
               | (Also plenty of pro-social, extrovert types who are weird
               | AF, but that's a different topic.)
        
               | pineaux wrote:
               | I am very weird and quite capable of making friends with
               | people. I am not super extrovert, I need concentrated
               | down time. And will ignore people when I am doing the
               | introvert phase. But overal people find me sociable.
               | Weird just means not normal. It's basically a codified
               | statistical concept.
        
               | Earw0rm wrote:
               | There's whether or not you can make friends at all, and
               | how choosy you are about who to make friends with, which
               | aren't really the same thing.
               | 
               | As a moderate introvert (handle social situations OK but
               | need the down time to balance), I just find some people
               | aren't worth the effort, and like to save my energy for
               | those that are.
               | 
               | But the weird/normal axis, I'm a little less comfortable
               | with (similarly "neurotypical"/"neurodivergent").
               | Fundamentally I dislike the idea of letting the most
               | boring people claim normal, in a similar way to how LGBTQ
               | and nonwhite folks don't like it when cishet or white
               | people claim normal. Most of the people I most enjoy
               | spending time with are ADD, ADHD or ASD, and all the
               | better for it. It's not like these are even disabilities,
               | they're just different ways of being.
               | 
               | I'm OK with the labels themselves as a broad, shorthand
               | way of understanding personality types / ways of seeing
               | the world, but I don't buy that no-label people are more
               | normal.
        
               | bowsamic wrote:
               | Sounds like you developed a bad coping mechanism imo, you
               | absolutely should and still do care if people like you
        
               | WizardClickBoy wrote:
               | I actually laughed out loud at how different this is to
               | the usual "be yourself and to hell with what people
               | think" advice. Can you elaborate on why it's so important
               | to care if people like you?
        
               | OldOneEye wrote:
               | Not OP, but we humans are social animals. As much as we
               | may want to pretend we live alone just fine, it's not the
               | common case. Sure, some people enjoy solitude and don't
               | have to care about what others think, but most of us
               | enjoy company, and this comes with caring about others
               | and what they think of you.
               | 
               | You surely care about what your partner thinks about you.
               | Your parents perhaps? Your friends? It's part of the
               | emotional connection.
               | 
               | You can be laid back and easy going, but you're still
               | going to care if your loved ones strongly go against your
               | core beliefs and ways of living, right?
        
               | bowsamic wrote:
               | It's basic human psychology
        
               | otikik wrote:
               | At the very least your parents need to _tolerate_ you,
               | because you depend on them for living during your early
               | years. So early on it is a simple survival necessity.
               | 
               | It turns out that this necessity never truly goes away.
               | Aside from merely surviving (e.g. you need your doctor to
               | at least _tolerate_ you) interacting with other human is
               | what makes life more than just surviving. At least it's
               | like that for most people.
               | 
               | Even hermits and sociopaths need to be liked by at least
               | one person, which is their own selves. Since the number
               | must be at least one, it might as well be 2 or 3.
        
               | bowsamic wrote:
               | > At the very least your parents need to tolerate you,
               | because you depend on them for living during your early
               | years. So early on it is a simple survival necessity.
               | 
               | Yep, and even a slight degradation of that trust that
               | your parents that are necessary for your survival will
               | protect you can have devastating, life-long psychological
               | effects. And indeed everything can be traced back to
               | that.
               | 
               | Perhaps controversial but I think this is the origin of
               | most religion: baby is protected by infinitely powerful
               | parents, child has shocking and painful revelation that
               | their parents are not infinitely powerful and have all
               | kinds of insecurities and weakness, therefore a forever
               | infallible representative (e.g. God) is constructed to
               | fill in that gap.
               | 
               | But I think that's just one way to fill the gap, and
               | people engage in all kinds of strange, obsessive
               | behaviours to try and reclaim that illusion of eternal
               | protection and safety.
        
               | CalRobert wrote:
               | Well, people are generally social animals.
               | 
               | Also, whether we like it or not we depend on other
               | people. If you want to get hired, reproduce, sell stuff,
               | or just not be a hermit, it matters what people think of
               | you.
               | 
               | Sometimes that means changing who you are. Sometimes it
               | means finding people who are more like you (I know that I
               | hate living in most rural areas based on the people I've
               | met in them, for instance). Maybe a combination.
        
               | rvba wrote:
               | The "be yourself" crap generally doesnt work.
               | 
               | Good advice would be "be somebody else".
               | 
               | The self help books that teach various tricks...
               | basically make one be someone else.
        
               | bowsamic wrote:
               | Yeah, most of the advice is really bad, because they want
               | to avoid the harsh truth: that things aren't necessarily
               | going to work out. You can't sell a self-help book that
               | teaches "you need people to love you but you might be
               | left alone forever". People want a guaranteed solution
               | but that simply doesn't exist.
               | 
               | However, a lot of people, like the person I originally
               | replied to, choose to remain alone, and that's often
               | because they are scared of rejection or of being left
               | alone. It's kind of ironic, like a contradiction. Longing
               | for connection, but being so scared of rejection that you
               | force the rejection to happen yourself, so that it
               | doesn't happen to you involuntarily, but by forcing that
               | rejection through self-isolation you basically guarantee
               | your doom rather than opening the possibility for
               | flourishing.
        
               | Spooky23 wrote:
               | You're the common protagonist in every scene of your
               | personal story.
               | 
               | If everyone prefers not do deal with you, perhaps they
               | are all toxic, terrible people. Or... there is a common
               | element.
               | 
               | There's a difference between defining yourself based on
               | the expectations of others and being such an individual
               | that nobody can relate.
        
               | baq wrote:
               | If most people aren't like you, you are not normal by
               | definition.
               | 
               | Good for you that you learned to cope with that. After
               | the 'don't give a shit' stage there usually is 'sit back
               | and observe' stage to understand what exactly you don't
               | give a shit about.
        
               | hi_hi wrote:
               | Define "most people"? Clearly an absurd question in the
               | context of this discussion. It's like saying "Most people
               | on earth are not like you". How do you define that?
        
               | baq wrote:
               | You always compare some projections, turns out people are
               | similar (or not) when dimensionally reduced.
        
               | vasco wrote:
               | This comment only has a slight amount of ground to stand
               | on if you actually have a bunch of friends, otherwise
               | it's just "hell is other people".
        
             | addicted wrote:
             | RV living is very different from living in an actual home
             | (or even Air Bnb) and moving around.
             | 
             | AirBnB's and homes are located in areas and designed for
             | living like normal social human beings.
             | 
             | RVs are parked in areas that are not designed to sustain
             | long term living.
        
               | rvba wrote:
               | Socializing kids is about actual interactions with other
               | kids. Something that nomadic life takes away from them.
               | 
               | In many cases they simply dont have any friends at all.
               | Or are always the incomers.
               | 
               | Of course you can live in a place with lots of kids of
               | your own age and still be lonly, or the kids can be
               | dicks, but in my opinion there is benefit in
               | socialization at age 4-10. Kids could go out ans play
               | together. The nomads cant.
               | 
               | IMO permanent group of friends and place, repetition,
               | predictability are a foundation for growth. Then you can
               | sprinkle one off things on top. Not a life of
               | unpredictable mess when you are on your own.
               | 
               | Also if you dont speak the local language how can one
               | even socialize
        
             | swiftcoder wrote:
             | Look, I get you may have a bad experience with loneliness
             | growing up, but this doesn't generalise. Lots of us grew up
             | traveling for one reason or another (RVs, sailboats,
             | military/diplomatic kids, etc), and I'd say on average
             | we're about as well-adjusted as the kids whole spent their
             | whole childhood in one of the various school systems around
             | the US
        
           | unsupp0rted wrote:
           | Whereas in late-2024, go to Turkey if you'd like to blow
           | through your savings faster than in Western Europe.
        
             | switch007 wrote:
             | Right. Beautiful country and amazing people but even when I
             | was there in 2022 people were really angry about inflation
             | and now it seems even more dire looking at the exchange
             | rate
        
             | insane_dreamer wrote:
             | they did it in 2023 but obviously yeah, it'll depend on the
             | situation at the time and also where you go in a country
             | 
             | Same with the Adriatic. If you decide to stay in Dubrovnik
             | or Split, for example, it'll be quite expensive, but there
             | are other places to stay in Croatia that are non-touristy
             | and inexpensive.
        
           | szundi wrote:
           | Also some eastern countries have deadly diseases even these
           | days, malaria, etc.
        
             | ajuc wrote:
             | Malaria is about the north-south axis, not the east-west
             | one.
        
             | trinix912 wrote:
             | There's no Malaria or other tropical deadly diseases in
             | Eastern Europe and the Balkans.
        
               | chgs wrote:
               | There is some evidence Malaria is increasingly coming
               | back to some places in southern Europe and the US despite
               | being eradicated decades ago
               | 
               | https://www.wired.com/story/a-rare-domestic-resurgence-
               | of-ma...
        
             | insane_dreamer wrote:
             | Malaria is mostly West Africa.
             | 
             | be careful about what you eat and drink but it's not like
             | you catch these diseases just from walking around.
        
           | chgs wrote:
           | What visa did they use?
        
             | CalRobert wrote:
             | Given that op talks about not staying in the Schengen zone
             | too long, I assume they just used tourist visas.
             | 
             | When I lived in Ireland I occasionally met people who would
             | bounce between Ireland/UK and Schengen to reset their visa
             | clocks (people from US, Canada, etc. can spend 3 months at
             | a time, or 6 months a year, in Schengen, though eventually
             | you might start getting tougher questions).
        
             | insane_dreamer wrote:
             | You can spend 6 months out of the year (and 90 consecutive
             | days) in the Schengen on an US passport without any special
             | visa, and these other countries usually let you stay as a
             | tourist for 30 days without a visa, some 3 months.
             | 
             | Also Portugal has the Digital Nomad visa for 1 year
             | renewable. That requires employment in the US (or elsewhere
             | outside the EU) so not the same as what my brother was
             | doing but a good option as the min wage requirements are
             | not high; could get by with what would be part time work on
             | a US salary esp in tech.
        
               | chgs wrote:
               | You can visit for tourist or business reasons, not
               | working.
               | 
               | I suspect that many of the housing problems in places
               | like Lisbon's old be solved if visas were enforced.
        
         | whtsthmttrmn wrote:
         | As someone that hasn't been able to travel, this sounds
         | wonderful
        
         | postepowanieadm wrote:
         | $80k will give you one year of very comfortable life in Central
         | Europe. If you want to live in an international city in a
         | decent flat 4 years is not realistic, more like 2.
        
           | declan_roberts wrote:
           | The world is a big place, and central Europe is a small part
           | of it.
        
           | Aditya_Garg wrote:
           | In Thailand, you can live very very comfortably for 25k.
        
           | csomar wrote:
           | If you are willing to forgo a car, expensive food and be fine
           | with a small studio, you can easily do 4 years on $80k in
           | central Europe. You can do 10 years in many parts of the
           | worlds and it'll require some adjustments but some places
           | (ie: Vietnam) can be really _okay_ and offer a night life
           | unmatched by the US.
        
             | postepowanieadm wrote:
             | I'm afraid you underestimate rent costs. In smaller cities
             | you may still find something nice for ~900 usd per month,
             | in more popular places like Krakow, Prague ~1500 usd is
             | more realistic but still optimistic.
        
               | alternatex wrote:
               | 1500 usd for Prague with bills included. Rent in Prague
               | in a very good location is about 1000 eur. The bills can
               | be about 400. For 1500 usd as rent you're looking at some
               | very fancy places.
        
               | postepowanieadm wrote:
               | Ok, so in 4 years you will spend 67200 usd for flat and
               | bills alone. That leaves 267 usd monthly for other
               | things.
        
               | tgaj wrote:
               | I don't know about Prague but in Krakow you could find
               | something decent for 1000 USD (including utilities). Even
               | less if city centre is not a must.
        
               | postepowanieadm wrote:
               | 4k pln for a flat in the center of Krakow? When may I
               | move in? Or by "something decent" you understand 12m2
               | "apartment" in Skawina:)
        
               | Etheryte wrote:
               | This feels incredibly out of touch with reality. Since
               | you mentioned Prague, the average salary in the Czech
               | Republic is roughly $20k per year, and that's the
               | average, plenty of people take home considerably less.
               | You're saying $80k is not enough for more than a year,
               | how do you think all those people manage to get by?
        
               | rvba wrote:
               | They dont manage to get by.
               | 
               | It's the same thing as in New York, just different
               | currency.
               | 
               | Locals inheritted their apartments from parents or
               | granparents, those with good jobs get a mortgage or burn
               | their salaries on rent.
               | 
               | And the rest lives with roommates. Or spends hours ona
               | bus or train to work.
               | 
               | Hence the fertility crisis in Central Europe: people dont
               | want to have kids when they struggle with rent.
               | 
               | In Central Europe there is the saying that prices are
               | western, but salaries are eastern.
               | 
               | Propert also gets bought by foreign investors like in
               | Canada.
        
               | rsynnott wrote:
               | "The median salary in the US is $59k, therefore obviously
               | no-one could possibly live in Manhattan".
               | 
               | I'd assume that salaries in Prague are higher than in the
               | Czech Republic as a whole.
        
               | Etheryte wrote:
               | I've said A implies B, but you're talking about B implies
               | A, they're not the same.
        
               | xenospn wrote:
               | I used Airbnb in those cities and it was considerably
               | cheaper. And Airbnb usually has a 4x markup on monthly
               | rents.
        
           | badpun wrote:
           | I live in Poland in a city center in a metro area of 2
           | million people on $9k per year. That's rent free, because I
           | own the place, adding rent would push the total cost to $13k
           | per year. That's six years of living on $80k.
           | 
           | Also, I'm 42 and retired :) It's really easy to retire here
           | when making software money.
        
         | pj_mukh wrote:
         | Stories like this make me the most mad at the Landlords/NIMBY's
         | (sometimes the same people). An $80,000 "investment" into a one
         | person startup should take you _much much much_ farther than
         | this, but it is completely gobbled up by literal rent-seekers.
         | 
         | BAcK iN mY dAy a room in a house would cost $400-$500/mo in
         | most places in the Montreal-Waterloo corridor. Now runways have
         | basically been halved (0.3x'd?) as an extra allowance to the
         | landed gentry.
        
           | FactKnower69 wrote:
           | Impossible to estimate the amount of damage the runaway real
           | estate market has done to competitiveness, innovation, and
           | entrepreneurship in the interest of funnelling more free
           | money to entitled landlords sitting on their asses cashing
           | rent checks
        
             | TeMPOraL wrote:
             | Oh they're not sitting on their asses doing _nothing_. They
             | 're reinvesting the rent into buying, renting and/or
             | flipping more property faster, screwing up things further
             | for everyone.
        
             | Schiendelman wrote:
             | If you do one thing to help, never call it the market. It's
             | the restrictions on the market.
        
               | svnt wrote:
               | Is this a shot at zoning? This particular problem would
               | be and has been solved by known better regulation. The
               | macro housing market demonstrates that most people don't
               | want to live in an imaginary Randian empire.
        
               | Aeolun wrote:
               | I'm sure prices would go down if it weren't for all this
               | regulation.
        
           | virtualwhys wrote:
           | I used to rent a studio on Parc Lafontaine in Montreal for
           | around $400 USD/month.
           | 
           | Beautiful space, clear view of Mont Royal, right off the
           | park, ideal location (IMO) in the plateau.
           | 
           | Granted, this was around 15 years ago -- I shudder to think
           | what the now-likely Airbnb units in that building go for
           | these days, probably $400/night.
        
           | rendang wrote:
           | If you're spreading blame around, save some for the
           | politicians who let in millions of immigrants despite the
           | housing shortage
        
           | game_the0ry wrote:
           | Totally agree with this.
           | 
           | One of the biggest beneficiaries of the recent tech boom
           | happen to be the owners of land and buildings in and around
           | the cities that tech companies prefer to be around.
           | 
           | Also a strong argument for remote-first companies.
        
         | Terr_ wrote:
         | > into a storage unit
         | 
         | I've heard some terrible things about how vulnerable those are
         | to theft / squatters.
        
         | bane wrote:
         | My wife and I always say that the most dangerous show on
         | television is "House Hunters International".
         | 
         | "I need a 3 bedroom apartment with a full kitchen in the
         | village center, with at least parking for one car, I have a
         | budget of $300/mo".
         | 
         | "Here's at least three options"
         | 
         | It also bring up a kind of discomfort between us, as tech
         | workers, and regular people. The quantity of money we can earn,
         | even at the lower end in the U.S., is unfathomable. It makes us
         | want to go places and spend somewhat frivolously to support
         | local businesses.
         | 
         | We were recently in Portugal. There's a ton of trendy food
         | spots with prices near what we'd pay in HCOL U.S., but there's
         | a ton of really local, mom 'n pop places, with absolutely
         | incredibly prices, and they're incredibly appreciative of your
         | business.
         | 
         | One place we frequented was maybe a 30 second walk from a very
         | trendy tourist district, but served local food at very local
         | prices. Ubers were lined up to drop people to go overpay for
         | mediocre food in the district, literally on the street next to
         | where we were eating. If they would have just taken a moment,
         | they could have come and had a great relaxed meal and support
         | some locals for almost next to nothing.
        
           | szundi wrote:
           | I second this, I had a seabass with potatoes for 5.5 eurs
           | some years ago... not the nicest environment but it was clean
           | and the food was delicious.
        
           | Simon_ORourke wrote:
           | > We were recently in Portugal. There's a ton of trendy food
           | spots with prices near what we'd pay in HCOL U.S., but
           | there's a ton of really local, mom 'n pop places, with
           | absolutely incredibly prices, and they're incredibly
           | appreciative of your business.
           | 
           | I hear that - last time I was in Lisbon I got breakfast in
           | one of those kind of places and had to ask the cashier if
           | they made a mistake with the change and had given me back too
           | much. Like literally, they could have charged double I would
           | have accepted it as a fair price for a nice meal.
        
           | eps wrote:
           | > One place we frequented
           | 
           | Got a name?
        
             | bane wrote:
             | O Golfinho, literally right outside of LxFactory. You'd
             | have to work hard to spend more than 12 euros a person.
             | Simple, local food. Lots of specials (soup, sandwich,
             | fries, beer for like 9-10 euro). Run by an older couple who
             | spoke no English and treated us like we were their niece
             | and nephew. I think both of us got in and out of there for
             | under 20 euro combined.
             | 
             | For a bit higher-end, we liked Cantinho do Sol near the
             | Marques De Pombal circle. I think we spent maybe 20-25
             | euros a person there, were stuffed to the gills, and nearly
             | drown in our drinks. Employees were lovely Brazilians in
             | the front of house and the owner, a local I think, was the
             | chef.
        
               | eps wrote:
               | Woah, looks very nice, thanks. Noted for the future
               | visit.
               | 
               | > For a bit higher-end
               | 
               | You've been to the TimeOut Market? Very busy, touristy,
               | but good selection of local specialties. Same price
               | range, more or less.
        
               | bane wrote:
               | No, but nice looking recommendation for our next time
               | there!
        
           | cactusplant7374 wrote:
           | I have only met poor retirees when living abroad. The sort of
           | people that have never been abroad before but love the low
           | prices (and spend most of their time talking about it). I
           | don't think the House Hunters demographic has much money.
        
             | swiftcoder wrote:
             | There are plenty of wealthy (by local standards) US
             | retirees floating around the cheaper parts of Europe. The
             | sort of folks who bought a house in New England in the
             | 80's, and now it sold for a couple of million in cash -
             | that sort of money goes a _long_ way in a place like Spain
             | or Portugal
        
           | secondcoming wrote:
           | That's great, unless you're a young person in Portugal being
           | priced out of accomodation due to wealthy foreigners.
        
             | bane wrote:
             | Yeah, we were sensitive to that fact. It's unfortunate.
             | 
             | We came across more than a couple business owners who had
             | side hustles as property speculators. One owner basically
             | said that he's buying whatever he can get his hands on
             | since there's a guaranteed return.
             | 
             | As tourists we're of course part of the problem, but we're
             | also a lot of the economy. I think Lisbon is also somewhat
             | in a problem like San Francisco, constrained geography, and
             | paradise for the climate, all creating very high demand
             | from people who have the money. People with money will
             | simply outpay people with less to live in more desirable
             | areas.
             | 
             | It doesn't help that Portugal also has _very_ cheap /easy
             | long-term/permanent visa programs which doesn't help.
             | They're almost one of the easiest ones globally that also
             | gets you into the EU.
             | https://www.globalcitizensolutions.com/portugal-residency-
             | vi...
        
               | zemvpferreira wrote:
               | As a Lisbon native, please don't feel like you're part of
               | the problem. We've painted ourselves into a corner by
               | failing to build more than a couple of thousand homes per
               | year for a decade. I'm not even exaggerating, a few
               | thousand new units per year is our current rate of
               | building as a mega-popular European capital, home to 3
               | million people.
               | 
               | At the same time as we've completely failed to expand
               | housing stock, we invented a new visa to allow wealthy
               | foreigners to immigrate without a hitch. Then later a new
               | visa to allow anyone who wanted to immigrate without a
               | hitch (which about 600k people from developing economies
               | took advantage of in the last five years).
               | 
               | There is nothing about our situation that has been
               | worsened by tourism. It's the one economic sector driving
               | the country forwards and I'm personally very grateful it
               | has developed so much. A large part of my extended
               | network can only make ends meet because of jobs created
               | by tourism.
        
           | Der_Einzige wrote:
           | The trivial ability to use even a small fraction of this
           | wealth to improve a huge amount of lives is exactly what the
           | "effective altruist" crowd should be creaming themselves
           | over.
           | 
           | The fact that I can buy a house in Thailand for something
           | insanely cheap also means that I can make sure that the local
           | school has whatever they need, for basically just a haircut.
           | 
           | You can take the local orphanage and make sure hundreds of
           | kids are comfortable for hundreds of USD a month.
        
             | carlosjobim wrote:
             | USD and EUR are in for a massive correction in foreign
             | exchange value. It's not like a dollar earned in reality is
             | worth ten times more than what a person in Thailand earns.
             | So enjoy it while it lasts. The law of supply and demand
             | means that as the supply of USD and EUR to other countries
             | increases, their value will decrease. Especially the EUR,
             | which has nothing to back it up. At least the USD has the
             | world police to back up the currency value.
        
               | ponector wrote:
               | Economy? No, no economy can back up EU or USA.
               | 
               | Btw, last decade has shown USA is not a global police
               | anymore.
        
               | carlosjobim wrote:
               | Foreign nations need USD because global trade is
               | conducted in USD. Global leaders are arguing about this
               | right in this very moment, BRICS feel they might leave
               | the dollar without fear of being bombed. The EU has no
               | military means to backup their currency exchange rate,
               | only import and export. And if more Europeans are moving
               | their spending abroad, that will diminish the value of
               | EUR.
        
           | consf wrote:
           | Your experience in Portugal is a perfect example of how a
           | little curiosity and effort can go a long way in making
           | travel meaningful
        
           | nickjj wrote:
           | > but there's a ton of really local, mom 'n pop places, with
           | absolutely incredibly prices, and they're incredibly
           | appreciative of your business
           | 
           | Yep, I was in Portugal back in June and was blown away by how
           | nice it was. City life, the beach towns and overall prices of
           | things. That was my first time going to the EU from the US.
           | 
           | I was on vacation so I ate out every day for all meals but I
           | don't think I paid more than $5 for breakfasts and most sit
           | down dinners were $12-15 all-in. I splurged one night in
           | Lisbon and had the craziest plate of sushi I've ever seen and
           | it was $18. That was from a 4.9 rated sushi bar with ~800
           | reviews.
           | 
           | My total food bill for 14 days of solo traveling was ~$475
           | and I wasn't purposely trying to budget. That includes
           | randomly trying a lot of things that I normally wouldn't do
           | like getting a fresh smoothie while walking around because
           | why not. That food bill also includes 3 days in south western
           | Spain because I moved around to a few cities (Seville, Spain
           | -> Lagos, Portugal -> Lisbon, Portugal was the loop I took
           | with day trips to a couple of places).
        
         | mock-possum wrote:
         | Sorry, but then what - money will just be magically waiting for
         | you when you're ready to come home? Having spent every penny to
         | your name?
         | 
         | God it must be nice to be in a position where you can afford to
         | just be like "ok my partner and I are just going to travel for
         | four years, and after that, idk, things will work out somehow."
        
           | StressedDev wrote:
           | Some people don't mind living paycheck to paycheck. It has a
           | downside but if it works for someone, I don't think judging
           | it really helps.
        
             | thfuran wrote:
             | I suspect there's very little overlap between that group
             | and people who have $80k sitting around.
        
           | ornornor wrote:
           | Same as it would be nice to win the lottery. Not everyone is
           | so lucky and others will be jealous they can't do it too.
        
           | wingworks wrote:
           | I did this. Was in a dead end job, left the job, traveled for
           | a year, rented somewhere for 6 months, then out of money,
           | moved in with parents... still here. Job opportunities where
           | my parents live aren't great.
           | 
           | At the time the job was so boring, going nowhere, pretty
           | easy.. I would do anything to go back in time to that role
           | tbh..
           | 
           | I loved every second of traveling, and met some cool people,
           | but none of that helps me find work now.
           | 
           | If you're a shy introvert, and struggle with social
           | situations.. and you currently have a job, I'd advise to keep
           | the job, even if it's not great, and try get something else
           | lined up before leaving.
           | 
           | I have so many mental issues now (low self esteem etc)...
           | therapy would probably help, but now I have no money sooo...
           | I'm stuck in a loop of unemployable, no help due to no money,
           | no money due to no work etc.
           | 
           | .. don't be me
        
             | em-bee wrote:
             | traveling alone doesn't help you find jobs, because you
             | meet other travelers and random locals, but it doesn't help
             | you build a network even if you are not shy introvert.
             | 
             | my strategy was to look for jobs in the places i wanted to
             | go to or take remote job offers and then visit or move to
             | the places of my employer.
             | 
             | that is what allowed me to spend a year in new zealand for
             | example.
             | 
             | that's where i learned that new zealand is not a good job
             | market. that's why i left again. i only got there because
             | pike programmers like me were not easy to find.
             | 
             | what are your options now? are you looking for remote jobs?
             | why do you think you are unemployable? can you use your
             | time to improve your skills? feel free to reach out in
             | private if you like to chat. email is in my profile
        
         | vunderba wrote:
         | Think long and hard before cramming your crap into a storage
         | unit. Outside of possessions with some sentimental value, it's
         | likely the money spent on a year or two of paying for a storage
         | unit (particularly one that is climate controlled) exceeds the
         | value of the things you're storing there.
        
           | aprilthird2021 wrote:
           | But almost everyone has some possessions with sentimental
           | value. Where should those be kept?
        
             | withinboredom wrote:
             | Friends or family, otherwise, you don't really need it.
        
               | klysm wrote:
               | Not everybody has that
        
               | withinboredom wrote:
               | My point is, when you live on a boat or RV, or traveling
               | around, you don't have a lot of space anyway. So, you
               | will end up at a point where "thing goes in, thing goes
               | out" or you won't have space. Might as well get to that
               | point from the beginning. If you want to keep it, you'll
               | need a friend to send stuff to anyway.
               | 
               | So, if you (somehow) don't have any friends, you won't be
               | able to keep much anyway, except memories.
        
           | ornornor wrote:
           | It's not only about current value. As anyone who has had
           | their house wiped out and an insurance payout, acquiring
           | everything again when you settle back is a massive time sink
           | (let alone cost, if you were insured at fair market value
           | rather than replacement value)
           | 
           | So yeah, the rent on the unit might be more than your crap is
           | worth, but having it all back in a blink (essentially) when
           | moving back someplace has some intangible value too.
        
           | xenospn wrote:
           | They also tend to increase prices on a regular basis, and
           | that more or less doubles your cost very quickly
        
         | hilux wrote:
         | I'm sure if he had _known_ he was not going to get a job, he
         | would have taken your excellent advice.
        
           | lazyasciiart wrote:
           | It doesn't sound like he was looking for a job. He was trying
           | to start a business of some kind.
        
             | hilux wrote:
             | A lot of people start a business in parallel with a job
             | search, or once their job search has completely failed. It
             | both feels and sounds better (to a recruiter, or a
             | journalist) than doing nothing.
        
               | lazyasciiart wrote:
               | Sure. But _this guy_ says "At the end of 2022, when I
               | quit my job to work on my projects, I made resolutions:
               | to make $1M in revenue in 2025."
        
               | hilux wrote:
               | Fair enough. From what I know about being unemployed, I
               | am not sure I trust his retrospective narrative, but
               | based on the information we're presented - have my
               | upvote!
        
         | pluc wrote:
         | I am currently doing this, AMA!
        
           | em-bee wrote:
           | i did this more than 20 years ago. i was between jobs. my
           | choice was to go back home or go travel. so i sent my stuff
           | home to my grandparents and went to travel...
        
         | jasonkester wrote:
         | I'll second this advice, counterintuitive though it may seem.
         | 
         | Back in the day, I had saved enough to take a nice 3 month
         | leave of absence from work to do some travelling. Nudging my
         | spreadsheet around, I tried replacing my rent, utilities etc.
         | with the cost of a storage locker, and suddenly my "how long
         | can I go for " number shot up to over a year.
         | 
         | It changed my whole approach to life in my 30s, and it was a
         | good 15 years before I committed to living in a single place
         | long term again.
        
           | lylejantzi3rd wrote:
           | How did you go about finding cheap short term rentals?
        
             | jasonkester wrote:
             | Travelling accommodation was usually some form of $5/night
             | beach bungalow in some remote corner of the world. Thus the
             | big savings compared to living in the states.
             | 
             | While working, I'd pick up a cheap room in a shared house
             | for a few months.
             | 
             | These days I'd just stay remote. Maybe upgrade by a few
             | dollars a night for A/C, reliable power and good internet.
        
           | purplethinking wrote:
           | At first I thought you meant you were living out of a storage
           | locker
        
         | keraf wrote:
         | After a last horrible work experience, I decided to quit
         | working for a while and travel. Haven't sold a lot of things,
         | some are still stored at my parent's place but I managed to
         | live off my saving for almost two years. I could have gone a
         | lot longer but unfortunately some bad investment decisions and
         | a long dream of obtaining a pilot license shortened my runway
         | by a lot.
         | 
         | In the past months, my situation has gotten worse as I needed
         | to tighten my belt due to my saving having almost completely
         | melted. Hard but enriching times, I have now found a job after
         | months of searching. The market in Europe isn't great these
         | days. Back to hustling but without any regrets.
         | 
         | 100% agree with OP, it was the experience of a lifetime for me.
         | If I can give some additional advice, plan your finances. Even
         | if you think a large sum will last you years and you're a bit
         | lazy to plan it (as I was), don't be conservative with your
         | forecast, plan large. Personally if I had to do it again, I'd
         | try to keep half or one third aside for unexpected cases.
        
       | insane_dreamer wrote:
       | I recommend this to anyone who has not yet had kids (unless you
       | don't plan to). It's the only opportunity you'll get (well until
       | your kids are finished college)
        
       | zb3 wrote:
       | Amateur... It's the 7th year of NEET for me :)
        
       | system2 wrote:
       | Is it better to be unemployed rather than to find a crappy job
       | that pays the bills? (AKA sucking it up while paying bills and
       | looking for a real career job.)
       | 
       | I was in a similar situation and I worked at a warehouse as a
       | loader, then at a kiosk to sell toys, and then sold necklaces at
       | a mall (none of them were my businesses, just worked.) And I
       | worked as a mover. Many odd jobs but I never accepted being
       | unemployed for 2 years while depleting my savings.
       | 
       | Whether it is a matter of being homeless or not, I can find 1000+
       | odd jobs that pay for something + food from Craigslist right now.
       | This is the reason why you will rarely see an immigrant being
       | homeless or being picky about the jobs they find. Staying
       | unemployed for years until finding the "best job" is a very
       | privileged mindset. 3 months in no job? Find something to float,
       | don't wait until your dream job appears out of nowhere.
       | 
       | I survived with $1000 a month for a very long time (in America,
       | the money I earned from my jobs) while paying for a room, eating
       | + transportation. If I had 80k, I'd buy a cheap van, live in it
       | for free, and eat the bare minimum nutrition I need ($150 a
       | month). I can survive with 80 for over a decade easily. God knows
       | what this person is doing with his money. I am certain he has
       | parents that he can count on.
       | 
       | These posts are extremely bizarre.
       | 
       | Now, downvote me to hell.
        
         | em-bee wrote:
         | it depends, you still need time and energy to apply for jobs,
         | keep your skills sharp, etc. not every job allows you to do
         | that. and in some countries doing jobs like that looks worse on
         | your resume than a gap.
        
           | system2 wrote:
           | None of the resumes are real anyway. You can type garbage
           | online projects to close the gaps. After work, you can still
           | go home and study for 3-5 hours per day. That's what I did
           | and I know it is possible. Whatever you do though, it is
           | better than wasting time with friends and going out for
           | adventures for 2 years while wasting your money and time.
        
             | hotpocket777 wrote:
             | I don't know if I follow. So starving yourself alone in a
             | van is a better use of time and money than going on
             | adventures with friends? To what end?
        
               | system2 wrote:
               | You can survive with 80k over 10-15 years instead of 2
               | and it increases your chances to find the job you want in
               | a van. The van part was a random example and an
               | exaggeration, but if it were down to being homeless I'd
               | buy a van with my last money. What I mean is don't waste
               | your money while there real and easy options out there. I
               | just can't wrap my head around the part of the OP's
               | luxurious trips and having fun while draining a massive
               | amount of money and not finding any job. Just go work for
               | McD or Ralph's as a cashier while looking for a job. I
               | just can't stand lazy people who act like victims.
        
         | justinrubek wrote:
         | I don't think this is a universal solution. I was unemployed
         | for around 6 months, and my parents thought it was laziness
         | that I didn't try to get a job at a gas station or something. I
         | used the time to develop skills that helped me later. I got a
         | job after that which didn't pay the best for being a software
         | position, but the skills I fostered in that time were directly
         | helpful in landing the next one that had a 60%+ pay bump with
         | better benefits and learning opportunities. I absolutely would
         | not have gotten this position without that time devoted to
         | sharpening a specific skill set.
        
           | system2 wrote:
           | You were a young boy living with your parents under their
           | protection. Likely they didn't care if you find a job within
           | 6 months while they were helping you since you are their
           | precious child (most parents do the same). That is not the
           | same as blowing 80k while having fun acting like you couldn't
           | find any survivable job for 2 years.
        
             | ghaff wrote:
             | Someone I vaguely know made the recommendation in print
             | that, if you lost your job, get something at Starbucks the
             | next day. Don't really agree but the one time I lost my
             | job, I did start doing regular professional job hunting the
             | next day which materialized in fairly short order through
             | my network. Had that not worked out, I'd probably have done
             | something survivable absent any particular severance
             | package.
             | 
             | It was sort of a dismal time in tech in general (dot-bomb)
             | so I wouldn't have just taken a couple months to travel
             | even if I could have afforded to do so.
        
       | UncleOxidant wrote:
       | December 2022 was not a great time to quit a tech job. I too have
       | been unemployed during the same period (except for a 3 month
       | part-time gig last summer) after the startup I was working for
       | lost it's funding in December '22. Fortunately, I've got a paid-
       | off house and a good amount of savings (plus I'm old enough to
       | start withdrawing from my retirement accounts and since our
       | income is pretty low the ACA subsidies are working out great for
       | being able to afford health insurance. At this point I consider
       | myself semi-retired as I'm not interested in playing the tech
       | interviewing game anymore, but if someone comes to me and wants
       | me to work on an interesting project then I'll give it serious
       | consideration (as was the case last summer).
        
       | ryandrake wrote:
       | Whenever I read articles like this and the ensuing "just relax
       | and go have fun/travel" comment chains, I think to myself I'm
       | living in an alien universe. Not having a job is a pants-on-fire
       | emergency, and I would be interviewing 24/7 until I corrected it,
       | even if the hiring market meant that was hopeless. I'd be a
       | nervous wreck until I found _a job, any job_.
       | 
       | It's absolutely wild to see people 1. with the privilege of
       | having $80K in liquid savings to just... chill while unemployed,
       | and 2. with the willingness and mindset that allows them to do
       | that chilling without freaking out. Total Zen Masters you all
       | are. I couldn't do it.
       | 
       | Every $10K I blew through while unemployed, I'd be thinking to
       | myself: Accounting for time value of money, that's just pushed
       | out my retirement date by 3 more months.
       | 
       | EDIT: I guess I should add that I'm married with a kid, since
       | that obviously does affect the math on this one. Still, I don't
       | think I'd change my opinion if I was single.
        
         | cryptozeus wrote:
         | 100% agree with this. Whoever said take a break and go
         | traveling either have money saved up or have no idea what they
         | are doing. Take a break from what ? Most of these people have
         | not even worked for 5 years.
        
           | grepfru_it wrote:
           | Burnout happens before you even realize it. By prioritizing
           | regular breaks, you can avoid burnout altogether
        
             | cryptozeus wrote:
             | No time for burnout, he has no money in the account. I
             | would start driving uber then join climbing clubs
        
               | FactKnower69 wrote:
               | sounds like your time is worthless
        
               | cryptozeus wrote:
               | Time does not put food on table and keep marriage intact
        
           | nicbou wrote:
           | To enjoy some of your prime years?
        
             | hackable_sand wrote:
             | I would rather make every year a prime year.
        
               | nicbou wrote:
               | Your body unfortunately gets a vote
        
               | sabbaticaldev wrote:
               | by working 40, 60 hours a week? what a prime
        
         | samvher wrote:
         | The first few years out of university I consistently had < $10k
         | on my bank account and was traveling as much as I could, with
         | just occasional part time work to "fill up" a few k$. I loved
         | it and couldn't imagine living any other way, neither
         | retirement nor risks were just really on my mind at all (it
         | wasn't really a zen thing).
         | 
         | Now I have a child and feel completely different. The moment
         | she arrived I immediately felt way behind on retirement savings
         | and stability and since then my #1 priority has been to catch
         | up. I'm hoping that not long from now I'll be able to translate
         | being more secure on paper to also mentally getting back the
         | care free feeling I had before.
        
           | justinrubek wrote:
           | It is incredible how long these feelings can stick with us.
           | My first few years out of university, I didn't even make $10k
           | total combined. It is taking a long time to come to terms
           | with the fact that I'm doing better now. Behind in life and
           | goals, but doing a bit better.
        
         | ar_lan wrote:
         | I completely agree with you. I actually have this privilege and
         | I still would be absolutely grinding until I got any job.
         | 
         | I also think in terms of retirement - it's not just savings
         | being depleted, but it's active months I'm not _adding_ to my
         | savings. And I 'm certainly not living off of 50% of what I
         | make post-tax, so the burn rate becomes exceptionally high.
        
         | ProfessorLayton wrote:
         | >Not having a job is a pants-on-fire emergency, and I would be
         | interviewing 24/7 until I corrected it, even if the hiring
         | market meant that was hopeless. I'd be a nervous wreck until I
         | found a job, any job.
         | 
         | Same, although I'm not sure it's always a privilege thing, but
         | also one's background. I've done pretty well for myself these
         | last few years, and financially speaking it would not be the
         | end of the world if I lost my job tomorrow. But I come from a
         | working class family, and grew up with nothing.
         | 
         | I was raised and surrounded by family members who work a lot
         | harder than I do for a lot less pay. They sacrificed a lot for
         | me to go to school and get a good job, so if I were to lose it,
         | the last thing I'd want to do is just chill for 2yrs even if I
         | could afford to.
        
           | pesus wrote:
           | I think this might be the single biggest factor, and it seems
           | hard, if not impossible, for most people who grew up in
           | financially comfortable situations to truly understand how
           | much it affects every aspect of your life.
           | 
           | I was fortunate to grow up relatively (lower?) middle-class,
           | but even then, we weren't exactly financially secure, and I
           | still remember how bad things were during the Great
           | Recession, even though I wasn't working at the time. My wife
           | grew up in poverty, and even though we're both doing decently
           | in our careers, I don't know if she'd ever truly be able to
           | get rid of the worry and anxiety that something might happen
           | and we'd end up homeless. Even if we suddenly won the lottery
           | and ended up with $500 million, that fear would probably
           | still be there at least a little bit. And like you said, that
           | fear makes enjoying/being comfortable with unemployment
           | impossible.
        
             | phist_mcgee wrote:
             | Absolutely agree. Middle and upper class people view money
             | and wealth fundamentally differently through a security
             | lens. Growing up poor radically alters the way you feel
             | about money, i'm more stressed about money than i've ever
             | been, but on paper i'm doing great. I always feel like i'm
             | one wrong move from disaster that will throw myself and my
             | family into a pit we won't be able to escape from.
        
             | astura wrote:
             | >My wife grew up in poverty, and even though we're both
             | doing decently in our careers, I don't know if she'd ever
             | truly be able to get rid of the worry and anxiety that
             | something might happen and we'd end up homeless.
             | 
             | DUDE!!
             | 
             | Im older than you and I grew up poor.
             | 
             | Between my husband and I we have a little under half a
             | million dollars in easily accessible liquid assets. I also
             | have enough in my retirement accounts that I could
             | definitely retire at 65 comfortably if I stopped
             | contributing today (CoastFIRE).
             | 
             | I am just barely starting to feel like I'm financially
             | secure.. like I don't feel it, but I logically tell myself
             | that I am. I feel like I'm finally starting to believe
             | myself.
        
               | em-bee wrote:
               | i think this is the sign of an inadequate safety net. i
               | also grew up poor with a single parent who could not work
               | until us children were old enough to be able to be at
               | home without supervision. so we had to rely on government
               | support.
               | 
               | now i am not exactly well off either. but i never felt i
               | was financially insecure even when i was low on money.
               | that safety net is always there, and having experienced
               | it, i am comfortable trusting it.
        
         | lukan wrote:
         | "Accounting for time value of money, that's just pushed out my
         | retirement date by 3 more months."
         | 
         | It sounds a bit, like retirement is your only goal in life.
         | 
         | Personally I am not sure, if I make it to retirement (WW3 or
         | whatever), so I try to enjoy the ride a bit more.
         | 
         | Also yes, I do pratice Zen meditation. But I doubt I am a
         | master ..
        
           | bagels wrote:
           | The odds are extremely high that you live to be at least 80
           | years old. If you plan on not having any money beyond when
           | you're capable of doing what you're doing now, you're going
           | to have a bad time.
        
             | lukan wrote:
             | "If you plan on not having any money beyond when you're
             | capable of doing what you're doing now, you're going to
             | have a bad time."
             | 
             | Oh for sure. And no, I am not doing that. But I am not
             | optimizing for my retirement. I optimize for the now. If
             | the now runs smooth, the momentum will also provide enough
             | money and other support later on. But doing a shitty job
             | will bring me a shitty life for sure. Taking a break from
             | that, gave me new and better perspectives, than beeing
             | trapped in a tight routine. We can compare in the future.
        
               | famahar wrote:
               | I also have a really hard time relating to the the whole
               | financial independence / retire early crowd. I think I'd
               | rather take the chance on growing as much as I can now so
               | that I can be the wise person I want to be when I'm much
               | older. Prioritizing experiences rather than aggressive
               | saving. I figure the worst case is that I'm old living an
               | extremely frugal life in a tiny place in the middle of
               | nowhere Japan (where I currently live) reading books and
               | playing all the games I bought when I was young, happily
               | content with a life fully lived.
               | 
               | I recently went on a very personal international trip
               | that wiped all my savings. I was able to reconnect with
               | my culture and I made two friends who I cherish so much.
               | The kind of friends that I would drop everything to help.
               | I didn't have to go on these trips, I could have kept
               | saving. But I don't regret that experience at all and it
               | changed me immensely.
        
         | grepfru_it wrote:
         | How old are you?
         | 
         | I used to be in the same boat. Somewhere in my 30s I realized I
         | could fall back on my skills if it ever warranted. Now I am
         | between jobs and considering not going back to work.
         | 
         | What I'm saying is that your life outlook shifts as you age and
         | experience common life events
        
           | pdimitar wrote:
           | And you will live off... what exactly? Fall back on what
           | skills? What does that even mean?
           | 
           | Your reply is cryptic and leaves crucially important details
           | out.
           | 
           | OK, I figure I don't want to work anymore. Who pays my rent /
           | mortgage? Who pays food, bills?
        
             | returningfory2 wrote:
             | You save money.
             | 
             | Take some time off and live off your savings.
             | 
             | If you want to start making money you go back to the
             | workforce (e.g. fall back to your skills).
        
               | pdimitar wrote:
               | I do that, many others do that.
               | 
               | We still can't sit two years without a job though.
        
         | paulddraper wrote:
         | Rampant singleness I guess.
         | 
         | IDK I have the same thought.
        
         | bagels wrote:
         | There are a lot of people on hacker news that have significant
         | savings from working in bay area tech.
        
         | coolThingsFirst wrote:
         | >Not having a job is a pants-on-fire emergency, and I would be
         | interviewing 24/7 until I corrected it,
         | 
         | This would have the absolutely opposite effect of that, I was
         | in this mood and it made getting a job impossible because I'd
         | appear too stressed and too depressed on every single
         | interview. Sometimes relaxing and letting it be is just better
         | and a lot more productive.
        
           | creer wrote:
           | There's a difference between panicking and making it your job
           | to find your next job. We often hear the two extremes,
           | "stressed and depressed" and "relaxed and on vacation".
           | 
           | "Delaying retirement" is absolutely an option - and not a bad
           | one while with extremely flexible financial needs - but it's
           | one to take eyes open.
        
         | sbrother wrote:
         | It mostly just comes down to having kids, right? I am certain
         | that if I were single and happy staying that way, I would be
         | living in a van in Moab and doing the bare minimum amount of
         | freelancing to keep myself fed.
        
           | coldpie wrote:
           | I don't think so. I have a wife, but we have no kids and will
           | not have any, and a lot of savings, but I could not do
           | something like this. If my income was less than my spending,
           | I would feel incredible stress knowing there's this Time
           | Limit To Doom hanging over my head. I'd also worry what a gap
           | like that would do to my future job prospects. (I'm not
           | saying I'm _correct_ to feel that way, but that I would feel
           | that way, and it would ruin things for me.) I also don 't
           | particularly enjoy traveling or lounging about, so those
           | kinds of stories never appeal to me. I enjoy working. It is
           | what it is, /shrug :)
        
             | sbrother wrote:
             | That makes total sense, thanks for articulating it so
             | clearly. Sometimes I wish I felt more that way, or at least
             | that I could get myself to hate corporate work less. I do
             | enjoy working for myself and freelancing, and that was all
             | I did before I had a family to support. Now it's too much
             | risk to give up a steady paycheck and subsidized health
             | insurance before my kids are off to college.
        
           | tenpies wrote:
           | I think it also comes down to relationships.
           | 
           | I would personally be extremely content living a very spartan
           | life. If there were a barracks type arrangement where I just
           | get a small room with desk and bathroom, and all food
           | preparation were handled for me for a reasonable fee, access
           | to a gym, and solid internet I'd be all over it.
           | 
           | But the minute you enter a romantic relationship, that
           | generally stops being an acceptable living situation.
        
             | purplethinking wrote:
             | Why is there such a difference between men and women on
             | this? I literally lived in a closet as a student. I'm quite
             | content as long as I have a nice desk and chair, good
             | internet, access to a gym and perhaps afford to eat out.
        
         | askafriend wrote:
         | The people I know who do this are either exceptionally talented
         | that employment will never be an issue for them in their
         | lifetime and/or (it's usually and), they can burn through $100k
         | no problem, any day of the week.
         | 
         | Nobody I know is leaving a $70k a year job to take a
         | sabbatical. They're usually leaving a $400k+ per year job and
         | there'll be another similar job waiting for them when they're
         | ready to jump back in.
         | 
         | Kids are another huge factor that changes this. I don't think
         | I've known anyone who's done something like this with kids in
         | the picture.
        
           | 8n4vidtmkvmk wrote:
           | > They're usually leaving a $400k+ per year job and there'll
           | be another similar job waiting for them when they're ready to
           | jump back
           | 
           | Will there be though? I honestly don't know. I'm closer to
           | that boat, I get (good) job offers every 3-6 months _, but
           | nonetheless, if I was laid off... I think that 'll leave a
           | pretty nasty mark on my resume, no matter the reason. I don't
           | think I'd wait a year to start looking for jobs again. A big
           | gap won't help either.
           | 
           | * Recruitment emails from top competitors I should say._
        
             | askafriend wrote:
             | It will not leave a nasty mark on your resume. That's your
             | anxiety telling you that. Nobody cares unless there are
             | other red flags to pair with it (e.g. lots of short tenure
             | jobs, etc).
             | 
             | I took 6 months off last time I did a job switch. I had 10+
             | offers from top companies and not a single one of them
             | asked me about the break or cared.
        
               | bdangubic wrote:
               | Exactly this. And a potential employer has an issue with
               | the "gap" in the resume - RUN FOR THE HILLS (or if you
               | need job immediately take it and continue interviewing
               | and leave as soon as another opportunity present itself).
               | 
               | About a year ago we had an open position and hired
               | SPECIFICALLY a person who took some time off after COVID.
               | She was like "it was insanely stressful time and I need
               | some time to regroup" and everyone who interviewed her
               | was like "perfect, just perfect"!
        
               | kcplate wrote:
               | Gaps should not be an issue. But it's still good to have
               | a ready talking point around a gap if asked about it in
               | an interview. If you are perceived as being evasive about
               | an employment gap, it's not unreasonable for an
               | interviewer to draw a negative inference about that. At
               | that point it's not your potential employer with the
               | problem regarding the gap...it's you.
               | 
               | Just about anything can be spun to a positive or at least
               | neutral light.
        
               | justinrubek wrote:
               | I can vouch for this advice. I had an encounter with a
               | bad employer and a 6 month period without a job. I ended
               | up taking a position somewhere that treated me like a
               | freak for it and tried to use it to weaken negotiation.
               | Additionally, they took issue to me not having many
               | multi-year roles. Normally, I'd not tolerate that, but
               | sometimes you just need health insurance (thanks, USA).
               | 
               | That place ended up being a terrible place to work for a
               | number of reasons. I eventually found a much better team
               | who didn't question any of that. It was an entirely
               | freeing experience. It truthfully would have been a
               | liability to stay there any longer as the leadership and
               | technical skills were not there. I left alongside many
               | other people and haven't looked back.
        
               | kcplate wrote:
               | Depends. If you were let go from a well known and
               | perceived successful organization that didn't have a
               | public mass layoff in the press, I am damn sure going to
               | red flag that if you are interviewing with me.
        
             | HeyLaughingBoy wrote:
             | You know that you don't _have_ to show employment dates on
             | your resume, right? If you feel like it, you can just show
             | the number of months /years you worked at each position. No
             | one is really going to bother to add them all up to see if
             | they match the calendar years.
             | 
             | We're usually too focused on finding the few people that
             | meet our requirements and don't have the time to waste
             | looking for red flags.
        
             | theshackleford wrote:
             | I have two, one year long+ gaps on my resume at almost 40.
             | Only a single employer has even asked about it. Though my
             | situation is perhaps a bit different I suppose in that when
             | I was was asked, I had about as "good" of a reason as you
             | can possibly have, and they proceeded to make an offer.
             | 
             | All in all though, it's not impacted my ability to re-enter
             | the job market, though I must admit I did assume prior that
             | it would.
             | 
             | This will obviously vary by job market, country and your
             | own capability to sell yourself I imagine.
        
           | ttt3ts wrote:
           | > Kids are another huge factor that changes this.
           | 
           | Yep, I have have quit a perfectly good job to bum around
           | Southeast Asia. Now that kids are in the picture being
           | unemployed would be very stressful.
        
           | adamtaylor_13 wrote:
           | You hit a big nail square on the head.
           | 
           | Kids + spouse changes everything.
           | 
           | My condolences to the writer because it sounds like he had a
           | divorce, which changed one part of that equation.
        
           | seanmcdirmid wrote:
           | I took a break after getting laid off from YCR (2017) and
           | joining Google (2020). My wife just had our baby and she was
           | a bit stir crazy, so I thought it better to focus on getting
           | her a job first (so I would take care of the kid instead). We
           | have a bit of redundancy now, which is useful at least (we
           | are ok if either us loses their job, but we would definitely
           | try to both stay working).
           | 
           | What they don't tell you is that employers are suspicious if
           | you are out of the job market for more than a year. And
           | anyways, no, it doesn't make sense to stay at home and raise
           | your kid, just pay for the childcare and get back to work as
           | soon as possible. And they wonder why birthrate is tanking...
        
             | throwaway314155 wrote:
             | > What they don't tell you is that employers are suspicious
             | if you are out of the job market for more than a year
             | 
             | literally one of the first things "they tell you" (it's
             | common knowledge).
        
               | seanmcdirmid wrote:
               | I wasn't told, or maybe didn't take it seriously enough.
        
               | bowsamic wrote:
               | They may be suspicious as in they ask, but as soon as you
               | say it was to raise a child it will be fully answered
               | without issue
        
             | bdangubic wrote:
             | can't believe the number of comments talking like this...
             | the only way I would work for an employer like this is if
             | my kid and wife were hungry and I had no other choice.
             | without my family I wod rather be homeless than work for an
             | employer like this (and yes, they are in a majority).
        
           | nicbou wrote:
           | 3 months now might be more valuable than 3 months when you're
           | old.
        
           | adastra22 wrote:
           | > Nobody I know is leaving a $70k a year job to take a
           | sabbatical
           | 
           | I did. Best decision of my career.
        
         | ipsento606 wrote:
         | > Accounting for time value of money, that's just pushed out my
         | retirement date by 3 more months
         | 
         | You account for the time value of money, but not for the time
         | value of time.
         | 
         | A week right now is worth more than a week 30 years from now.
         | 30 years from now, your life might have changed beyond all
         | recognition, or you might be dead.
         | 
         | Reasonable people can disagree over how to discount future
         | freedom-from-work vs present freedom-from-work.
        
           | atmavatar wrote:
           | Playing devil's advocate: a dollar right now is _also_ worth
           | more than a dollar 30 years from now, both from an
           | inflationary and from an investment perspective.
           | 
           | That said, I'm still largely in agreement with you. While
           | there are a myriad ways to make more money, there's no way to
           | make more time.
        
         | ForHackernews wrote:
         | Are you young, or living outside the United States?
         | 
         | American developers are staggeringly well compensated.
        
           | adastra22 wrote:
           | Most are not.
        
             | ForHackernews wrote:
             | https://codesubmit.io/blog/software-engineer-salary-by-
             | count...
             | 
             | $110,140 is pretty damn good for a job you can do from home
             | in an office, with minimal physical risk.
             | 
             | If you can't put together $80k in savings after a decade or
             | so on a salary like that, you have a spending problem.
        
         | lumost wrote:
         | In my experience, the relax and travel crowd has much more than
         | 80k liquid - or the ability to acquire much more than 80k via
         | relatives etc.
         | 
         | Alternately, they have very cheap tastes. It's entirely
         | possible to live off of 15k per year while hiking the AT, there
         | are at least 5 equivalent trails to hike globally.
        
         | insane_dreamer wrote:
         | > I should add that I'm married with a kid, since that
         | obviously does affect the math on this one.
         | 
         | That changes the equation altogether.
        
         | handwarmers wrote:
         | I am not sure if you are really young, but you definitely sound
         | like either nothing quite earth-shattering has happened in your
         | life, or maybe some stuff has happened, but you have chosen to
         | be very selective about how you digest it.
         | 
         | Sometimes life hits you like a truck, and you get trapped under
         | that truck for a really long time. Then, once you get flung in
         | the ditch and think you just had the most horrible N
         | months/years of your life, a whole colony of fire ants starts
         | crawling on you and pulling you apart.
         | 
         | So, yeah, sometimes certain actions could be a sign of
         | privilege, sometimes, they could be the tiny thread giving a
         | person a lifeline.
         | 
         | Being able to only optimize for proximity to retirement could
         | be a more "privileged" state to be in, than having 80k in
         | Canada in certain contexts.
        
         | hoherd wrote:
         | I moved to Silicon Valley in the fallout of the dot com bust,
         | and I had this amazing HR director named Rex who gave me a
         | fantastic intro to tech career life. One thing he told me that
         | has stuck with me is "You need to live your life like you may
         | not have a job tomorrow." The full weight of this didn't
         | register for probably a decade or more, but I take it now to be
         | this:
         | 
         | 1. You may have zero income tomorrow. Plan for that, especially
         | if you have a family. Tech companies pay good money, and you
         | need to stash that money away while you have an income because
         | there are pretty good chances that some day you'll wake up and
         | not have a job.
         | 
         | 2. You need to foster the professional relationships you make
         | while doing your day job, because almost nobody is going to be
         | working at that company until they die or retire, which means
         | everybody is going to be looking for work. When it comes time
         | to look for work, you will want a network to reach out to. When
         | you find yourself in a position where you have something great
         | and you need to hire great people to help you achieve your
         | vision, you will want a great network to reach out to. Take
         | time to look after the folks you care about. Pay special
         | attention to the humans you have done great work with. Those
         | people are probably going to be more valuable to you personally
         | and professionally than the company you are working for, and
         | the same goes the other way for them looking out for you.
         | 
         | This wisdom was later supplemented by a contractor we had hired
         | at a different company, who came back to meet with us after we
         | hadn't used all our paid hours and said "Look, I know you're
         | upset that (some guy you loved working with) is no longer with
         | us. We're also bummed about that. But we have done great work
         | together as a combined team. Not as companies, but your
         | engineering team and our engineering team. We hope that you
         | will think about that when you need help with anything, at this
         | company or in the future, just like we will think about you
         | individuals when it comes time for us to solve problems that
         | you would be good at solving."
         | 
         | Every time there is a layoff, I think about this nugget that
         | Rex told me, and that supplemental anecdote, and every time
         | they are just as relevant. This wisdom has saved me so much
         | stress, and opened so many doors for me. I admit that it hasn't
         | always let me take my unemployment completely worry free, and
         | that I have made some desperate decisions while unemployed
         | which I later regretted. That being said, I still think this is
         | solid advice, not just for the tech industry, but for everybody
         | everywhere. This is especially so if you are a humanist or are
         | anti-bigcorp. It has helped me find peace with having to walk
         | away from jobs when I needed time for me or my family, or when
         | things just weren't working out. After the blood bath of 2023,
         | I am living this advice more than ever, and the last few times
         | I have wondered if I was on the chopping block, aside from the
         | emotional response of visceral existential fears that come up
         | in such cases, I've found peace in the rational knowledge that
         | having planned for not having a job tomorrow, I can set those
         | fears aside and look for the opportunity in my new
         | circumstance.
        
         | XorNot wrote:
         | My problem is that the main thing I want to do when I have free
         | time is work on DIY'ing around my home, and however much money
         | you save in labor, materials and tool costs are still pretty
         | significant.
        
         | bdangubic wrote:
         | the first thing I am going to tell my kid when she enters the
         | "workforce" is that her #1 PRIORITY (she won't have any student
         | loan debt) is to save F YOU money. 6 months at least, 12
         | preferably. Life without it is terrible. Not just for the fear
         | of losing your job and not knowing what tomorrow brings but (in
         | my opinion) even worse - staying on a job that makes you
         | miserable because you need that paycheck coming regularly to
         | survive...
        
           | scorpioxy wrote:
           | Does that amount qualify as "F YOU" money? I always thought
           | it was if you have multiple years worth of savings.
           | 
           | But I agree. Some funds to fall back on is critical. The
           | amount is highly dependent on your situation and risk comfort
           | level and can be argued back and forth but not having any
           | puts you at the mercy of whatever your employer/manager
           | decides. Or even you getting sick and unable to work for a
           | while. And even if the former doesn't happen, the latter
           | definitely will at some point.
           | 
           | Though I am reading some of these comments and wondering why
           | they'd call losing a job an end-of-the-world scenario. I've
           | always thought people on this forum are the type of working
           | professionals that could afford to put away a few hundred
           | dollars a month even if they're not on SV wages. Mind you, I
           | am not talking about an amount of money to allow you to
           | retire but just enough to get you going for a few months
           | until you can figure something out. Even if married and with
           | children. That just changes the math a little bit but not the
           | approach. Is there something I am missing?
        
             | bdangubic wrote:
             | > Does that amount qualify as "F YOU" money? I always
             | thought it was if you have multiple years worth of savings.
             | 
             | F YOU money is so that if your boss/employer/... pisses you
             | off you can tell him "F YOU" and pack your shit and leave
             | without a single worry on your mind
             | 
             | > The amount is highly dependent on your situation and risk
             | comfort level and can be argued back and forth
             | 
             | Absolutely not - it is a simple math. If I spend $10k per
             | month, I need $60k or $120k saved to have a cushion of 6
             | months (or 12 months). there is no argument, I said F YOU
             | and I am now without a care in the world and can take my
             | time to figure out what I am going to do next without
             | needing to stay somewhere that makes me miserable (or same
             | if I get fired)
             | 
             | > Is there something I am missing?
             | 
             | "According to a YouGov survey from May 2023, only 18% of
             | Americans have savings between $1,000 and $10,000"
             | 
             | Now of course probably 2% of them or less are here on HN...
        
               | ryandrake wrote:
               | To me, F-YOU money means "enough to retire today." It
               | means you can live your current lifestyle using just 3%
               | of it per year, which is a pretty normal retirement draw-
               | down rate. Anything less, and it's not really F-YOU
               | money, it's "I can take a brief sabbatical at the cost of
               | adding N more years of work before retirement" money.
        
               | scorpioxy wrote:
               | Yeah, that's closer to my understanding as well. Not
               | necessarily retirement but a few years of runway perhaps.
               | The 6-12 months thing I've always seen being called an
               | "emergency fund" which in turn is different to your
               | savings which may not be liquid.
        
               | ryandrake wrote:
               | Yes, AND if you're using your _emergency fund_ then you
               | should be in an emergency mindset, not chilling out
               | surfing in Bali.
        
               | scorpioxy wrote:
               | Sure, I wouldn't advise taking any expensive vacations or
               | anything of that nature. But what caught my attention
               | were the terms "pants-on-fire emergency" and "I would be
               | interviewing 24/7". I mean I get it would be a stressful
               | situation and may cause anxiety or panic but having those
               | strong emotions could also lead you to end up working in
               | a bad workplace which would make your mental health even
               | worse. I am not judging, but those words just left me
               | wondering what am I missing. And this is speaking as
               | someone with a family to support.
               | 
               | I agree with the zen masters description though. I
               | wouldn't be so zen about it either.
        
               | bdangubic wrote:
               | There is a HUGE difference between emergency fund and FU$
               | 
               | If my lifestyle currently is:
               | 
               | - summer vacay in Bali
               | 
               | - two ski trips, one US, one in the Alps
               | 
               | - eating out once per week
               | 
               | - daily Starbucks
               | 
               | - ...
               | 
               | FU$ means I continue doing EXACTLY this, for 6/12/18
               | months.
               | 
               | Emergency fund would be I cut down all my expenses to a
               | bare minimum until I find new source of income. Can't say
               | FU if I can't go to Bali (I love Bali :) )
        
               | scorpioxy wrote:
               | To be clear, I am agreeing with you.
               | 
               | Except that me saying the amount is dependent on your
               | situation is leaving some margin for if your child is
               | special needs or you're going through a divorce or taking
               | care of elderly parents or things of that nature where
               | you'd probably want to decrease your risks by increasing
               | the 12 months to 18 months to account for more unknowns
               | that wouldn't apply to other people, for example. I do
               | not consider it to be simple math nor a matter of an
               | absolute right/wrong stance.
        
               | bdangubic wrote:
               | I apologize for saying simple math in a kind of an
               | "absolute" way but I meant it in a "math" sense that I
               | know my expenses and as well how long of a "cushion" I
               | need to feel like I can FU out of a bad situation (or if
               | get into a bad situation beyond my control). I also know
               | my known expenses are just that - known expenses but of
               | course there is always the unknown. But I am guessing
               | adults could ballpark a figure that will get them through
               | X number of months
        
               | scorpioxy wrote:
               | No problem. Now that you mention it, I find it incredible
               | that many people I know wouldn't be able to tell how much
               | they're spending on what. Not even ballpark it. This is
               | the first thing to start with and is incredibly easy to
               | do, if you choose to. Whether you call it FU money or
               | emergency or something on the side or whatever, you at
               | least need some numbers.
               | 
               | And we're not talking about wealthy people here but the
               | ones who complain that there's nothing left when there's
               | an interest rate increase. I don't know maybe it's the
               | crowd I hang out with. Or maybe they are actually wealthy
               | and just don't want to say it.
        
               | tzs wrote:
               | Here's the YouGov survey if anyone is interested [1]. A
               | lot of people do indeed not have a lot of savings:
               | 
               | > One in 10 consumers do not have any savings (12%) while
               | a slightly higher percentage of consumers say they have
               | less than $100 in their savings account (14%). A further
               | 13% of Americans say they have between $1,000 and $4,999
               | in savings. Altogether, that means that half of all
               | Americans have less than $5,000 to fall back on.
               | 
               | [1] https://business.yougov.com/content/46083-how-much-
               | does-the-...
        
               | brookside wrote:
               | Savings and savings accounts are being conflated here.
               | 
               | One can have a small amount a savings account with plenty
               | withdraw-able assets in Mutual Funds etc to fall back on
        
               | wrycoder wrote:
               | In this context, "savings" includes all liquid assets.
        
           | nunez wrote:
           | Hard HARD agree
           | 
           | I have that fund now and it completely changes how you
           | approach work.
           | 
           | It's going to go away once we buy a house, but my top
           | priority will be to restore it after the deal's done.
           | 
           | Good on you for paying their way through college; that will
           | help a ton.
        
         | nunez wrote:
         | My first thought is "which rich family member can they coast
         | off of when shit gets really bad" or "where's the rest of the
         | money you haven't touched yet?"
         | 
         | So many of these "I've been funemployed for 5 years" articles
         | NEVER talk about the hidden asterisk that, well, actually, they
         | have plenty of money and are just fine; they're just
         | conventionally broke.
        
           | ryandrake wrote:
           | Yea, I think a lot of it is this. In a lot of these
           | discussions, nobody wants to admit that their family is
           | loaded. Although they might have to swallow their pride a
           | little, if things get bad they could just move back in with
           | lawyer dad or doctor mom, and they'd be fine indefinitely. I
           | think that's very different, stress-wise, than "I have $100K
           | of savings and am willing to sacrifice years of future
           | retirement to blow through it."
        
         | jcarrano wrote:
         | I get your point because I'm also quite like that, but the
         | reality is that I've spent all of 2024 in dead-end interviews
         | and got no results other than wasting time. In hindsight, "had
         | I had the crystal ball", it would have been more rewarding to
         | relax good and proper. I still don't have a crystal ball,
         | though.
        
         | Kirby64 wrote:
         | Any basic financial advice would tell you to have 3-12 months
         | worth of emergency fund ready for unexpected events. Losing
         | your job is just another unexpected event. If you've got a 6-12
         | month runway of money, why wouldn't you take a little bit to
         | destress? And if you're laid off in most tech roles, getting
         | some (often substantial) severance is pretty common. You may
         | not even need to tap into an emergency fund.
         | 
         | Even with a wife and kids, all that means is that you have more
         | household expenses. Just means you'd need more money in said
         | emergency fund.
        
         | deprecative wrote:
         | I've been out for about two years. My retirement is a bullet or
         | poison. It's just that simple. I will never earn FAANG money
         | such that I can make up for the lost time.
        
         | jckahn wrote:
         | I'm exactly the same. I have excellent savings. But even still,
         | unemployment is a must-fix critical emergency for me.
         | 
         | If nothing else, pulling money out of investments to fund
         | expenses due to lack of income feels like robbing myself of
         | future gains.
        
         | adastra22 wrote:
         | > Whenever I read articles like this and the ensuing "just
         | relax and go have fun/travel" comment chains, I think to myself
         | I'm living in an alien universe. Not having a job is a pants-
         | on-fire emergency, and I would be interviewing 24/7 until I
         | corrected it, even if the hiring market meant that was
         | hopeless. I'd be a nervous wreck until I found a job, any job.
         | 
         | That's on you. Stress is something you generated, not something
         | that exists in the world.
        
           | em-bee wrote:
           | stress comes from being backed into a corner. this may be
           | from bad decisions or from unforseen circumstances. in
           | countries where healthcare mostly depends on having a job and
           | support is not guaranteed or not easy to come by this can
           | happen much faster than you expect, and it's not always
           | possible to prepare for that.
           | 
           | stress is also created by other people who insist that i am
           | doing something wrong, and don't respect that i have a
           | different opinion on that matter. people who have
           | expectations that i can't or don't want to meet.
           | 
           | i did learn to avoid stress, even as i live in countries
           | where there is no safety net. i am out of work now, and while
           | putting in applications day after day is tiring, i am not
           | stressed. but i come from a country that has a strong safety
           | net, and i know that if i have to i can always go back there.
           | i grew up with that safety net, and i know that i'll never be
           | homeless unless it's by choice. that alone removes a major
           | stress factor. i don't know how i would feel without that
           | safety net.
        
             | adastra22 wrote:
             | This thread is specifically talking about travel where you
             | can go to places that have affordable healthcare, no?
             | 
             | How much you care about other people's opinions is, again,
             | entirely up to you.
        
         | vunderba wrote:
         | I would read the story posted with a bit of skepticism. They
         | obviously have more of a safety net then they're letting on -
         | because there's simply ZERO way that they wouldn't be stressing
         | if all they genuinely had in savings was ~60 CAD and the stated
         | rent is 1200.
         | 
         |  _I also travelled the world, but I did it as an ESL teacher.
         | Nothing encourages you to integrate faster into a country 's
         | culture and learn the native language than actually working
         | there, and you feel like less of a tourist._
        
         | javman wrote:
         | I quit my job two years and four months ago. I'd worked non-
         | stop for twenty years (10+ at the last company) and was getting
         | three weeks of vacation time per year. I'm in my 40's and
         | finally decided that I wanted to enjoy some of life while my
         | body was still in shape. Watching the savings drain out is
         | hard, but what's harder is thinking about going back to the
         | grind and never having any time for myself again.
        
         | aprilthird2021 wrote:
         | Yep. I was laid off a bit over a year ago, and I literally did
         | nothing but try to get my next job, and fortunately got one in
         | 2 months before my severance ran out.
         | 
         | I have easily enough to live a whole year or more without
         | needing to work, but I would never consider that for even 1
         | second, tbh. Never even thought hard about why, it's just not
         | an option to me.
        
         | famahar wrote:
         | Maybe it's the wrong way of looking at things but I have such
         | minimal plans for retirement and that choice has led me to
         | being extremely happy now rather than waiting for it later. The
         | memories and adventures I've had by spending my money on
         | experiences have led to moments and connections I don't think I
         | can see myself having in retirement. It's a gamble but I'd
         | rather live now and hope that when I retire, I 'Ll be happy to
         | live an extremely frugal modest life.
        
       | cryptozeus wrote:
       | Wow 80k in 2 years is not that much. I am in my 3rd year in bay
       | area. Luckily I had invested and have zero debt so able to
       | survive. Honestly op may not want to hear this but "music,
       | sports" and this line "Once a week, we play board games, cook
       | food, or do coworking sessions. Living with others is not always
       | easy, but it is fun." does not tell me you have any focus on
       | getting job. You need to be too busy to even worry about food.
       | What is all this ? You joined a climbing club ? How do you have
       | time ?
        
       | huqedato wrote:
       | A very valuable lesson for me. So, I'll venture into
       | entrepreneurship once I've saved a million dollars in cash--
       | though, realistically, that might never happen.
        
       | cahoot_bird wrote:
       | Problem is lack of money catches up eventually. If you can't
       | figure out some way to get it, and the longer without a job, the
       | harder it is to get one. I think a lot of people struggled
       | because the economy and job numbers. Supply and demand..
       | 
       | I had contract work, then couldn't get a tech job a couple years
       | ago after a lot of applications. Completely broke. Drove down the
       | road and felt kinda foolish seeing people paying less but decent
       | money for non-tech. got fast food / hospitality worker. Low
       | stress, physical work. Can't imagine where I'd be if I didn't.
       | 
       | I kind of get it though, you start doing something else then you
       | don't have much time and energy to improve on what you want to do
       | (such as tech) for a while, a recipe for people to get trapped,
       | unless you can save money and reclaim time somehow to improve, or
       | the supply/demand shifts..
       | 
       | anyone could fail at anything, all I know for certain is the
       | worst thing a person can do is nothing.
        
         | insane_dreamer wrote:
         | One solution, if you can, is to take part-time work. Then you
         | can reduce your expenses to that level, take time off for
         | living, without having to spend down your savings (or only very
         | very slowly). Then it's sustainable.
        
       | kelvinjps10 wrote:
       | I wonder how much it would last in a 3rd word country, I live in
       | Colombia with 800$ quite comfortably.
        
       | spondylosaurus wrote:
       | OP, idk if you'll see this, but the part about GI issues after
       | being on Accutane concerned me a bit. There's some evidence that
       | Accutane can cause short-term symptoms that mimic autoimmune
       | disorders and long-term symptoms that _are_ bona fide autoimmune
       | disorders. If you only feel  "normal" while sticking to a
       | restrictive diet, especially in the absence of confirmed celiac
       | disease (which would otherwise explain issues with gluten), you
       | might be suffering from a more serious problem without realizing
       | it.
       | 
       | Signed, someone who only feels "normal" while sticking to a
       | restrictive diet... and therefore is seeing their gastro next
       | week to discuss switching to a different Crohn's treatment :P
        
         | svnt wrote:
         | A similar but underreported possibility here is gastric ulcers
         | which correlate extremely well with cortisol/stress.
         | 
         | You can attempt to fix it by taking NAC which is an amino acid
         | with no side effects for $20 a month or so. Usually you don't
         | need to take it continuously, just in regressions.
         | 
         | It is frequently misdiagnosed as the other more
         | serious/intractable things you've mentioned.
        
           | spondylosaurus wrote:
           | Oh yeah, I forgot about ulcers. Non-ulcerative gastritis is
           | on the table too, which can mimic some of the same symptoms
           | and is absolutely triggered by stress. And both ulcers and
           | gastritis can be a smaller part of a bigger serious issue!
           | 
           | Which is all to say... there are so many ways your gut can
           | make you miserable, and they rarely get better on their own.
           | Absolutely worth checking out if you can.
        
       | mancerayder wrote:
       | The problem in the US is healthcare.
       | 
       | In my state the health insurance marketplace only has 'bronze'
       | plans that are in-network only (with mediocre options) and high
       | deductibles, it costs 6-800 for individual and close to 1500-2k
       | for a family.
       | 
       | The United States has rigged the employment market to forever
       | keep you dependent on a corporate employer until retirement. Now
       | these same companies are taking away remote work, forcing people
       | close to expensive and increasingly annoying cities like New York
       | City, where the median one bedroom is one million to buy.
       | 
       | So, for giving your time to a company, your reward is never being
       | able to be fully independent without huge risk. Healthcare is the
       | Company Store Voucher of the modern era.
       | 
       | Has anyone else considered leaving the United States long before
       | retirement age?
        
         | adastra22 wrote:
         | ACA plans would be free / fully subsidized in that
         | circumstance.
        
         | maximinus_thrax wrote:
         | > Has anyone else considered leaving the United States long
         | before retirement age?
         | 
         | Yes. I'm American but was born in a small country in Eastern
         | Europe. I was planning on moving back during the pandemic,
         | however I was presented with some job prospects I couldn't
         | reject and my move was delayed. But I do plan on retiring in my
         | hometown within two years. There is universal healthcare which
         | sucks for the most part, but private insurance is extremely
         | cheap (compared to the US) and I could retire more than
         | comfortably with my current nw. And by 'retire' I don't mean
         | stop working, I mean I'm going to work on whatever I want.
         | 
         | And to your original point about healthcare, it is the absolute
         | single reason for why I did not take any sabbaticals or long
         | term leave even while burned out, for my insomnia during layoff
         | seasons and generally for my job related stress.
        
         | keyserj wrote:
         | I'm in Illinois, my bronze marketplace plan was $247/mo this
         | year, and the coverage was good (for what I used at least).
         | 2025 plans look to be going up $50/mo or so which is annoying.
         | Still a good chunk to have to pay, but nowhere near as bad as
         | your situation.
         | 
         | Makes me curious how much marketplace costs vary per state?
         | 
         | In any case, as another person pointed out, the ACA plans also
         | provide very high premium credits for low income households,
         | covering up to ~80% of the costs (from what I've seen). But
         | this also varies by state, I think.
        
         | iancmceachern wrote:
         | Being your own employer is the only way to take charge of this.
         | 
         | Platforms like Gusto, etc. make it so even small businesses can
         | offer benefits and insurance like bigger companies do.
         | 
         | I went though various big and small employers plans, several
         | states' exchanges, and none were nearly as good as doing the
         | legwork to get benefits setup for my own company. Now I choose.
        
           | pcl wrote:
           | How do the costs pencil out on that, if you are signing up
           | with Gusto etc. only for access to the health care plans?
           | Presumably you need some minimum payroll or something?
        
             | iancmceachern wrote:
             | Yes, even of you are a one person company you need to pay
             | yourself through some sort of payroll service so that you
             | stay compliant with all the regulations and pay things like
             | disability, various taxes, etc. So you already need them,
             | or similar, to handle that stuff.
             | 
             | The minimum payroll is defined by the minimum wage in your
             | local area, keep in mind you can also choose how many hours
             | you work.
        
               | le-mark wrote:
               | This sounds like one hell of a hack! Can you go into a
               | bit more detail about how you have it set up?
        
               | iancmceachern wrote:
               | Someday I'll write a blog post about it. Feel free to
               | reach out to me, contact info is in my bio. I'll be happy
               | to share anything you'd be interested in.
        
               | the__alchemist wrote:
               | This seems like an incredibly useful piece of information
               | to anyone who doesn't have trad employment in the US. I
               | found on Gusto's site info about how you can write off
               | your insurance costs if you meet certain criteria. Is the
               | benefit this, or something else?
        
               | iancmceachern wrote:
               | Yes, theyre deductable for any employer, this is no
               | different. Lots of benefits including this. It gives you
               | the same power and security a employer plan does, because
               | it is. In my experience the marketplaces and insurance
               | from them can be a minefield needing navigation.
        
           | mancerayder wrote:
           | In some states the insurance group policy won't be available
           | for a one person LLC, and there's no option direct from the
           | health insurance companies, so all that remains is the state
           | marketplace. I tried. I ended up signing up with an agency
           | that basically put me as a W2 employee and took a fee, so I
           | could use their so-so but better networked group insurance.
           | 
           | Is Gusto for stuff like that? Single member LLCs?
        
             | iancmceachern wrote:
             | Yes, that's exactly what's it's for, also bigger companies.
             | For smaller ones they sort of bundle you in with other
             | small companies for the insurance, is my understanding. You
             | may not have as many options, but they're better in the
             | same ways an employer plan is, because they are one.
        
             | wrs wrote:
             | This may vary by state, but in Washington my broker tells
             | me that a one-person LLC can work, if it elects to be taxed
             | as a corporation so it can issue that person a W-2. Which
             | accountants hate because of the potential extra taxes, but
             | as she says, "my job is to get you health insurance, not
             | reduce your taxes".
        
         | m00x wrote:
         | In Canada you just die before you get a family doctor :)
         | 
         | Last time I went to the ER, the wait was 10h for kidney stones.
         | Thankfully I passed out for 4h in the waiting room from the
         | pain and the stones passed by the time I saw a doctor, so all
         | they did was send me home.
         | 
         | My family doctor died 10 years ago and I'm still on a list.
        
           | nubinetwork wrote:
           | If you're from Ontario, you might want to call the health
           | care connect people... I was on a list for roughly a year and
           | a half, then out of the blue I got 2 referrals in 2 months
           | (the first one never called me)... while the one I got isn't
           | a typical family doctor, just having someone to help me with
           | my needs is a start...
        
             | newsclues wrote:
             | Then you merely have unreasonably long waits for
             | specialists and testing, and then more waiting for
             | treatment!
        
               | psb217 wrote:
               | It's super cool when you have to go through a chain of
               | several specialists while dialing in on the problem.
               | Especially when the default diagnosis is typically: "it's
               | probably nothing, wait six weeks and make another
               | appointment if it's still an issue...", lol.
        
           | HWR_14 wrote:
           | In the US, 70-80% of the time they just send people with
           | unpassed kidney stones home from the ER. With painkillers and
           | a giant bill.
        
             | Nifty3929 wrote:
             | At least you get the painkillers. Not sure what else they'd
             | really do for non-emergent kidney stones anyway.
             | Painkillers is probably the best you can hope for, and
             | getting them quickly and sent home sounds like a great
             | outcome to me.
        
           | jrochkind1 wrote:
           | Can't find a primary care doctor in the US either, so we're
           | even.
        
           | FredPret wrote:
           | Have you tried calling doctors directly?
           | 
           | Sometimes there are information gaps between their capacity
           | and the provincial bureaucracy.
        
           | gadders wrote:
           | Surprised you weren't offered MAID.
        
         | gorfian_robot wrote:
         | in CA if you make less income than the minimum (like $18.5k as
         | a single person) you are put onto the free Medi-Cal plan. so
         | thats nice. :)
        
         | remyp wrote:
         | I did. Healthcare was a big part of that decision. My older
         | siblings have been through hell both medically and financially
         | because of the US healthcare system.
         | 
         | I decided to learn from their experiences and GTFO while I
         | could. I miss my family and friends dearly, but it's a massive
         | relief (and privilege) to be able to get the care I need and
         | not worry about whether the cost is going to bankrupt me.
        
           | qwerpy wrote:
           | Where did you end up going? I have some savings and would
           | like to retire early, and getting health insurance is an
           | impediment to that. Need somewhere that doesn't require a
           | work visa and is a good place to raise a family. I have
           | enough to do it in the US but would be happy to consider
           | alternatives.
        
             | remyp wrote:
             | To Portugal. If you have enough assets to retire in the US
             | then you probably qualify for the passive income visa.
             | 
             | It's not all smooth sailing, though. The immigration agency
             | here (AIMA) currently has 300,000 cases in the queue. It's
             | so difficult to get an appointment that people are making
             | hundreds of calls per day, standing in queues for hours
             | only to not be seen, and filing lawsuits.
             | 
             | Most people here make about EUR1200/mo and there's a severe
             | housing crisis that I have contributed to with my presence.
             | The influx of people like me with vastly higher purchasing
             | power is creating resentment: the far-right party
             | quadrupled (5% -> 20%) their seats in parliament by running
             | against immigration.
             | 
             | Having said that, I do love it here. I've been considering
             | blogging about my experience since there's a dearth of
             | clear-eyed information from real people who moved to
             | Portugal and aren't selling something.
             | 
             | Anyhow, I'm happy to share more info and resources with
             | anyone who wants to learn more. Please feel free to reach
             | out - my contact info is in my profile.
        
               | tills13 wrote:
               | Thanks for sharing your experience. And thanks for
               | acknowledging your part in "the problem" -- truly, a lot
               | of people in your position e.g. immigrate, and then try
               | to pull the ladder up after them.
        
         | EasyMark wrote:
         | The bronze plans are basically catastrophic insurance, not
         | preventative care. If you want that you have to take it into
         | your own hands in the USA; eat right, exercise, do the annual
         | checkup Mine paid out when I had an appendix close to exploding
         | and several days in the hospital. Of course I paid the
         | deductible which was $6500, however the remaining portion would
         | have put a large dent in my retirement fund, but thanks to the
         | "bronze" plan, I was fine. So what is the risk for me?
        
         | winwang wrote:
         | My friends have successfully relied on Medicaid during
         | financial hardships + unemployment. At least in NYC, the
         | Medicaid plans are quite decent.
         | 
         | Also, for those who require plans similar to the one previously
         | provided, COBRA (18 months) is decent -- expensive but
         | presumably less expensive than "equivalent" in the marketplace
         | if we're talking about a good corporate plan.
        
       | CharlieDigital wrote:
       | Over the last 4 years, I've gone through a similar "speed run" of
       | startups after quitting my job of 10 years during COVID.
       | 
       | First startup went nowhere and took on a contract role after 9
       | months. Then tried another startup with a co-founder I met at one
       | of the startups where I worked in the interim. About 6 months
       | building something awesome, but no commercial path. Spent 1 month
       | with him and _another_ co-founder on a fintech product but
       | realized much faster that once again that there was no viable go-
       | to-market strategy. Started another company and built a product
       | that seemed like it had legs. We had one early user that
       | absolutely loved the product and we thought all we needed was to
       | find more users like her. Turns out that she was a false signal
       | because we never found another user like her and I 'm about to
       | shut that one down after almost a year to avoid DE franchise fee
       | next year.
       | 
       | If anyone is in a situation like this/thinking about doing
       | something like this, I've gathered some of my lessons learned:
       | https://chrlschn.dev/blog/2024/12/lessons-learned-from-worki...
       | 
       | If I had to sum it up: always build the minimal thing that can be
       | "sold". Use AI to build the dirtiest MVP as fast as possible.
       | Even better if your "MVP" is a deck and you can get people to put
       | money down to wait. Figure out your GTM and messaging with that
       | deck. If you are an engineer, you must resist that urge to build
       | until you're sure you can find enough people that have this
       | problem and want to pay you to solve it. Don't work with a non-
       | technical co-founder if they claim if you build it, customers
       | will come. Don't work with a non-technical co-founder that can't
       | demonstrate an ability to sell. If the vibes feel off, get out
       | fast. Don't form a company with a co-founder until you absolutely
       | have to (like your personal life, don't get married until you're
       | absolutely sure).
       | 
       | Lots of mistakes and lessons learned during that time having
       | founded startups that went nowhere, been an employee in startups
       | that went nowhere, and left startups that are actually crushing
       | it. I have seen a big swath of the gamut at this point with some
       | regrets in retrospect.
        
         | garrickvanburen wrote:
         | This.
         | 
         | Build only after customers have thrown money at you.
         | 
         | As it's at that point you have enough clarity and specificity
         | to build.
        
           | MarcelOlsz wrote:
           | >Build only after customers have thrown money at you.
           | 
           | This advice is better if you have 10k twitter followers. For
           | example I'm building something cool, a no-code visual
           | regression tool. I don't have any real network. Besides cold
           | outreach (and hn, ph), what else is there? Would love to know
           | what you recommend.
        
             | raincole wrote:
             | Unfortunately, if you genuinely want to build something
             | cool, the correct path is build it as open source project
             | while having a job.
             | 
             | If you want to make money (at least break even the
             | opportunity cost of a programmer), you need to work
             | backwards: build things that you will be comfortable to
             | pitch to your connections. Selling home-made chilli sauce
             | to friends&relatives is unironically a better business
             | model than building an app for most people.
        
               | MarcelOlsz wrote:
               | Thanks, that makes sense. I did reach out to my limited
               | network and the reception has been good.
        
               | CharlieDigital wrote:
               | Yup.
               | 
               | Stuff I build for fun, I generally just open source. If
               | there is an audience, you can always build a commercial
               | model later.
        
             | CharlieDigital wrote:
             | > For example I'm building something cool, a no-code visual
             | regression tool.
             | 
             | Make sure you do your research on what's already out there,
             | how much they charge, who their target market is (startups?
             | Mid market? Enterprise?), what's their marketing strategy,
             | etc.
             | 
             | Basically understand how your solution fits into that
             | market and how you'll differentiate and make money.
        
               | sahmeepee wrote:
               | These come up every few weeks on HN. Something something
               | Playwright, something GPT something.
               | 
               | I fully agree that you should try to sell the thing
               | first, because a good chunk of the people who might want
               | such a tool could already have the savvy required to bolt
               | together the relevant open source and off the shelf
               | building blocks.
        
               | MarcelOlsz wrote:
               | Even before getting any sort of demo/landing page up?
        
               | CharlieDigital wrote:
               | Yes. The more excited someone else is about an idea, the
               | stronger the signal. The more you have to show them the
               | idea, the weaker the signal (with exceptions at the
               | edges)
        
               | MarcelOlsz wrote:
               | That's fair but I need a job so this demo is a perfect
               | way to showcase all of my skills and to add something
               | recent to my portfolio. Maybe if I have like a year of
               | runway and no money stress I can try the pre-sell thing.
        
               | CharlieDigital wrote:
               | Do it for your portfolio; keep it open source. Use a
               | license that's conducive to OSS and possibly a paid
               | version in the future or dual license later.
               | 
               | Just be realistic with your expectations and don't quit
               | your job until you know that there are customers willing
               | to pay.
        
               | MarcelOlsz wrote:
               | I haven't worked in over a year and I'm in dire
               | straights. I'll do the OSS version later.
        
             | svilen_dobrev wrote:
             | hey
             | 
             | some time ago i skimmed around notion of Wardley maps and
             | bookmarked it but did not pay (enough) attention. The other
             | day there was another post on the topic, now with some
             | basic resources, and i got hooked.. and read half of that
             | book [0]. But right now have nothing on my mind to play
             | with. May be that is a way? Map-and-try-predict the
             | battlefield (needs lots of reconnaissance and "feeling" of
             | the "landscape" and what-else-is-there). Mail me if you
             | want a sparing partner - i want to learn this technique.
             | But Anyway, have fun.
             | 
             | [0] https://feststelltaste.github.io/wardley-maps-
             | book/#_the_fir...
             | 
             | (IMO, read chapter 2+ then 3~4 first, then restart from
             | beginning)
        
             | garrickvanburen wrote:
             | Who do you expect to buy it? How many face-to-face
             | conversation with them about why they'd use this tool?
             | 
             | Customer don't exist in hn, ph, twitter, they exist in
             | their own offices, on Zoom, and your local coffee shops.
        
               | MarcelOlsz wrote:
               | I expect managers of small/mid size product teams to buy
               | it instead of pinging me and my friends at the end of the
               | day/start of the day/throughout the day. This makes it so
               | my managers don't have to ping me all day, helps devs
               | monitor UI breakages, and helps stakeholders get easy
               | made reports on changes they requested. It's quite
               | useful.
               | 
               | I've had 10ish face to face conversations with people,
               | people who've sold significant companies / engineering
               | managers at FAANG's.
               | 
               | My competitors all require code, mine doesn't.
               | 
               | I threw up a sign up page on https://shutr.app if you're
               | interested. Maybe it goes somewhere, maybe it goes
               | nowhere. But I believe in it, and it's useful for me.
        
         | StressedDev wrote:
         | Thank you for sharing this.
        
           | CharlieDigital wrote:
           | Good luck if you're thinking about going for it! Learn from
           | my mistakes.
        
         | tailspin2019 wrote:
         | Given the dense amount of wisdom packed into this comment I
         | checked out your profile. Both your current projects look
         | extremely impressive and polished. And viable! Keep up the good
         | work! It's inspiring to see that in light of the obvious
         | difficult lessons you've had to learn along the way.
         | 
         | Having learned many of the same lessons as you I can 100%
         | backup everything you said in your "sum it up" paragraph!
         | 
         | The only caveat I would add is to the "make an MVP with AI". I
         | think MVPs generated directly out of ChatGPT/Claude are _so_
         | easy now (or at least it can appear so on the face of it) that
         | many people are just barely going beyond that - but to any
         | experienced eye, that approach is quite transparent and can
         | look very low-value (even if the idea is actually a good one).
         | 
         | Now if that person is a skilled salesperson then that might
         | work.
         | 
         | But, for most people, I think it's still very important to
         | _demonstrate_ good instincts, taste and strategic /commercial
         | understanding when building such an MVP. And that means editing
         | and shaping the output just enough to meet your vision for the
         | product. So to agree with you - definitely, 100%, use AI as
         | much as possible - but don't assume that you can put zero work
         | in on top and have that MVP be effective. Because the 10 year
         | old down the street has the exact same tool as you - so if you
         | are just relying verbatim on that tool's output- it's going to
         | be hard to stand out.
         | 
         | I'd still definitely agree to spend as little time as
         | physically possible on the MVP - with the above caveat.
         | 
         | Having said all that... a lot of historical wisdom on the topic
         | of MVPs has been turned upside down since gen AI became
         | mainstream, so on the flip side you _could_ argue: create 1000
         | MVPs in an hour, publish them all, see what generates
         | interest...*
         | 
         | Hmm.. I think I just argued against my own point.
         | 
         | * (I'm not really seriously suggesting anyone do this, but I'm
         | also not entirely discounting this as an approach either...)
        
           | CharlieDigital wrote:
           | > Both your current projects look extremely impressive and
           | polished. And viable!
           | 
           | Appreciate it and thanks for the positive feedback! But those
           | are two of the multitudes of side projects I have collected
           | that I haven't figured out how to monetize. My "day job" is
           | at a VC-backed startup that is going through a protracted
           | wind-down because it also failed to find a viable GTM. So
           | yeah, I've learned some hard lessons in multiple facets of my
           | career!                   > Now if that person is a skilled
           | salesperson then that might work
           | 
           | My rule now is that if I'm building something for fun, I just
           | open source it. If I want to make money, I'm going to first
           | figure out who's paying and how do I get them to pay. AI MVPs
           | are easy now to let you flesh out an idea one level up from a
           | slide deck (in fact, maybe this is its own startup idea? Use
           | AI to build an MVP from a deck??).
           | 
           | I had a non-technical friend recently spin up a full blown
           | startup with customers using nothing but Claude + Replit (not
           | plugging, but just sharing to show that it's real:
           | https://bullship.co). He came up with the idea after talking
           | to a friend and finding that indeed, the market had only two
           | major competitors who both charged too much for many smaller
           | customers.
           | 
           | The code is throwaway in my book, but it's enough to validate
           | the idea by actually getting people to pay for something they
           | can use. It won't scale, but that's fine; by the point that
           | he needs it to scale, he'll be able to hire people with more
           | skill to fix or rebuild it.
        
         | ornornor wrote:
         | > like your personal life, don't get married until you're
         | absolutely sure
         | 
         | I misread "personal wife" (in Kripky's voice from big bang
         | theory) and after I was done chuckling, I started thinking of
         | something funny to comment about the other types of wives there
         | are... then reread your comment and... yeah.
        
           | CharlieDigital wrote:
           | Haha, well, I'm going through a "divorce" now with a co-
           | founder and unfortunately, it costs money, time, and effort
           | to try to get my assets (code) back. He was never able to
           | generate a dime of revenue after I brought the code, but now
           | he wants the code (which I want to open source).
           | 
           | So yeah, in many ways, it is just like a marriage when you
           | formally create a company with a co-founder. Don't do it
           | unless you need to and if you do, make sure that you can get
           | your assets back if you are bringing existing assets to the
           | table.
        
       | ipnon wrote:
       | The stark transition from employment to unemployment can be very
       | painful in our industry, because it is a boom-bust industry, and
       | it's not uncommon to go from making half a million dollars a year
       | to having the most expensive cities in the world vacuuming money
       | out of your bank account as fast as economically possible. When
       | the money is coming in you feel like a rockstar-ninja-hacker
       | genius. When the money dries up you start to wonder why you
       | didn't just go into accounting.
        
         | anotheracc88 wrote:
         | I have not been out of work since 2002 but same time... I
         | earned nothing close to 500k or even 250k.
        
         | tasuki wrote:
         | If you make half a million dollars a year, it's really easy to
         | save lots of it.
         | 
         | I didn't make that much (but also don't live in the US). For
         | some time I was living on about 5% of my income and saving the
         | remaining 95%.
        
           | liontwist wrote:
           | > but also don't live in the US
           | 
           | There is your answer. The cities where you can make 400-500k
           | are at least 2x the cost of other US cities.
        
             | tasuki wrote:
             | I was not asking a question.
             | 
             | Half a million dollars a year is a lot of money even in the
             | expensive cities.
             | 
             | If you make that much and don't save a significant part of
             | it, you're rather lacking in foresight. Go talk to the
             | people earning five times less who live in the same city!
        
         | liontwist wrote:
         | > it is a boom-bust industry,
         | 
         | It's surprising this is not more widely recognized. The
         | majority of corporations need help configuring existing
         | software, not developing and marketing novel software. Those
         | new opportunities come and go. If you want stability, get a job
         | in IT.
        
       | hn_throwaway_99 wrote:
       | Am I missing something about where this guy is getting money? He
       | posted his bank account, which is essentially empty, and it seems
       | his only current income is $600/mo, which is less than half of
       | his rent. So how is this guy surviving currently?
       | 
       | I don't mean to be one of those people that shout "privilege" at
       | every turn on the Internet, but most people with no savings and
       | barely any income would be freaking out unless they had some
       | family or support network to lean on, which I noticed any
       | discussion of is suspiciously absent.
        
         | MarcelOlsz wrote:
         | I'm in a similar boat. -$800 in my checking and about ~$1000
         | left on my CC. Also from Canada. Morgage payment coming up in 5
         | days will put me in the negative, and another one in January as
         | well. Should not have bought a house. I'm basically screwed,
         | but I figure the wheels of the system or whatever will move
         | slower than me finding work.
        
           | stocknoob wrote:
           | Rent out/airbnb a room in your house?
        
           | Zambyte wrote:
           | What do you mean by "~$1000 left on my CC"? Do you mean like
           | $1k until you max out your CC? $1k left to pay off?
        
             | MarcelOlsz wrote:
             | Yeah $1k until max out, it's blocked from online payments
             | but I can still use it irl.
        
               | justsomehnguy wrote:
               | So it's really -$200. And CAD to boot.
        
               | reshlo wrote:
               | They have _negative_ $800 in their checking account.
        
               | justsomehnguy wrote:
               | Yikes, totally missed that.
               | 
               | That makes it -$1800CAD.
               | 
               | Thanks for noticing.
        
               | svnt wrote:
               | How are you doing your math?
               | 
               | If they have $1k left in available credit, and they were
               | making tech wages, that means on just that one credit
               | card they are probably $9k to $24k at least in the
               | negative already. The $1k of remaining available credit
               | is not yet debt, but the negative bank balance is.
               | 
               | It is also likely they have more than one credit card,
               | and maybe also some student loans.
        
               | lionkor wrote:
               | They are simply not counting the CC since it's not
               | available money
        
               | BehindBlueEyes wrote:
               | > How are you doing your math?
               | 
               | As a european, I also didn't realize what CC stood for
               | and was tripped up by the math same as the person you're
               | replying to. Not everyone lives in a world/country where
               | living on credit is the norm (at least not yet).
        
               | Aeolun wrote:
               | I don't think living on credit is the norm even in
               | countries that use a credit card regularly. The limit on
               | my card is fairly high, but if I don't pay it off every
               | month my provider gets pissy.
        
           | SvenL wrote:
           | Would it be possible to sell the house? Kind of get rid of
           | the mortgage?
        
             | MarcelOlsz wrote:
             | Have had it listed for months now, I expect it will sell
             | when rates cool, in which case I'm gravy.
        
           | tomcam wrote:
           | Damn, brother. But if anyone can pull a rabbit out this hat,
           | it's you. Your main problem will be getting your giant brain
           | through the door for a job interview.
        
             | MarcelOlsz wrote:
             | Thanks man!
        
           | m00x wrote:
           | Overspent on the house? Not uncommon in Canada tbh. The
           | country is in a really bad state real-estate wise.
        
             | MarcelOlsz wrote:
             | A little bit. It was a great idea at the time when I had
             | work. It's been listed for sale for 2 months now which is
             | to be expected with the rate frenzy.
        
           | rendang wrote:
           | Why did you buy a house while having such small savings?
        
             | TeMPOraL wrote:
             | They probably spent all their savings on the down payment,
             | as approximately everyone on the planet who wants a place
             | to live but can't pay for it all out-of-pocket does?
             | 
             | Investment shenanigans excluded, if you have enough savings
             | to pay off your mortgage in case you lose your job, there's
             | no point in getting a mortgage in the first place.
        
               | Ferret7446 wrote:
               | No emergency fund, I suppose.
               | 
               | Sometimes I wonder how people manage to browse the Web
               | without encountering "common" pieces of wisdom. Maybe we
               | should bundle up a bunch of useful YouTube/TikToks as a
               | supplemental education package for students.
        
               | Turskarama wrote:
               | You're kind of damned if you do, damned if you don't. If
               | you save up an emergency fund instead of paying a
               | downpayment then you're spending money on rent that you
               | could have in retirement, and it's not like rent is
               | consistently cheaper than mortgage payments anyway so if
               | you can save up when renting you can save up when owning.
               | 
               | So the gamble is, do you spend 2 years saving up for 6
               | months of income as a buffer and send tens of thousands
               | of dollars down the drain in the meantime, or do you roll
               | the dice and hope nothing bad happens in the next 5 or so
               | years? The people who end up in the best position will be
               | those who take the second option, and most of the time it
               | will work out.
        
               | ghaff wrote:
               | The short answer is probably everything in moderation if
               | you're reasonably young. Maybe don't put every penny you
               | can get your hands on into a down payment on a house,
               | especially if you're also a bit uncertain about future
               | income streams and life situation. But maybe you also
               | don't really need a year or two comfortable emergency
               | fund.
               | 
               | At some point, it probably makes sense to buy a place if
               | you can if only for the stability as you get older.
        
               | zeroCalories wrote:
               | The problem is that many people view home ownership as a
               | cultural / political statement beyond all else. They
               | desperately need to stop being a rentoid and become a
               | landchad. The reality is that renting is often a better
               | financial decision than buying, especially short term.
               | Plus, in this economy there is no guarantee that you're
               | going to be employed in one city your whole life.
        
               | away271828 wrote:
               | Maybe. It's very situational. Beyond the spreadsheets for
               | a given location, there are times in your life when you
               | want to be able to pickup and move fairly easily and
               | there are times when you want to be able to put down
               | roots and be in a pretty stable situation that lets you
               | tailor things.
        
               | zeroCalories wrote:
               | "Putting down roots" is the wrong way to look at it. You
               | have to ask yourself if you're certain that you will be
               | in one area for a long time. Everyone wants roots in LA
               | or NYC, many of them wash out.
        
               | s1artibartfast wrote:
               | Sure. but what isn't cultural? Being cultural does not
               | mean it is irrational. It would probably be a better
               | financial decision if people lived cells and ate nutrient
               | paste.
        
               | zeroCalories wrote:
               | The goal is to maximize your happiness. Putting yourself
               | into a precarious and stressful financial situation
               | because of memes is irrational. Buying a sleeping pod
               | might be rational for some, not for others. Those aren't
               | cultural though, they're personal.
        
               | s1artibartfast wrote:
               | I dont really understand the distinction you are drawing
               | between cultural and personal. Personal opinions are
               | shaped by culture and memes.
        
               | TeMPOraL wrote:
               | Nah, people know those "common" pieces of wisdom. What
               | people bringing them up often miss is, they're also
               | unachievable for most people. Life isn't a MMORPG where
               | you can check out of progression at any moment and spend
               | some time grinding to build up savings. Life has a clock
               | to it that doesn't stop, and most can't afford falling
               | behind it much.
        
               | MarcelOlsz wrote:
               | Emergency fund is useless when expenses are 5k/mo, and
               | that's just sitting in my room working in 15C with my
               | food costs and expenses as low as can be. Burned through
               | 40k already.
        
               | technothrasher wrote:
               | > Investment shenanigans excluded
               | 
               | You're poisoning the well there, as that is _the_ major
               | reason to get a mortgage even when you have enough cash
               | to buy a house outright. It 's not "shenanigans", it
               | almost always makes financial sense to keep your cash
               | invested elsewhere when mortgage rates are low.
        
               | NewJazz wrote:
               | Also mortgage interest is tax deductible.
        
               | goodJobWalrus wrote:
               | Not in Canada
        
               | ghaff wrote:
               | And, for many people in the US without a lot of
               | deductibles, not in the US either after tax law changes a
               | few years ago.
        
               | NewJazz wrote:
               | Yeah they're going to keep SALT capped farther than they
               | said they would, huh?
        
               | ghaff wrote:
               | No idea. I wouldn't count on anything with a new
               | administration/congress.
        
               | NewJazz wrote:
               | New? It is the same crowd as 2017. I mean they dropped
               | the McCains, Cheneys, and Paul Ryan.
               | 
               | But the rest are still there.
        
               | ghaff wrote:
               | And who knows what the crowd will do in 2025 given new
               | cabinet etc.? Deductions don't really affect me much
               | going forward. I _care_ but not planning around specific
               | policies going forward.
        
               | NewJazz wrote:
               | Yeah I'm not saying it is a determinant. But the new/old
               | head of state is the only one in the admin who matters
               | legislatively. I'm merely musing on the pressure to
               | balance a budget and give away all of our money. I hear
               | he isn't so good with that. Go big or go home tho.
        
               | TexanFeller wrote:
               | Standard exemption in the US for a married couple is
               | around $30k. If your mortgage is so massive that the
               | mortgage tax deduction is better than the standard
               | deduction then in most cases you bought a far too
               | luxurious house or in a far too "prestigious"
               | location(SF, NYC, etc.). If you're not already a
               | millionaire you shouldn't buy such property.
        
               | ghaff wrote:
               | As someone else commented, things can of course always
               | change, but as things stand today, it takes a very large
               | mortgage and/or very significant other deductibles to get
               | over the standard deductible at this point in the US.
        
               | NewJazz wrote:
               | Standard deduction for single people is 15k. SALT can get
               | you to 10k, and anything past 5k in mortgage interest (at
               | 5% rates and 100k balance, you're already at the point)
               | is gain over the std deduction. 22.5% on those dollars
               | for many people. More depednnding on state tax.
        
               | lottin wrote:
               | If that's the case, the savings are not 'spent' but are
               | simply invested in the house. They should be able to sell
               | the house for the net value (market value minus mortgage
               | outstanding) which should be roughly equal to the down
               | payment.
        
               | NewJazz wrote:
               | High transaction fees on sales. Typically at least 5% in
               | US, not sure about Canada.
               | 
               | Also don't forget taxes, insurance, mortgage interest
               | needs to get paid while house is in your hands. Most
               | mortgages have lots of interest during the first few
               | years.
        
               | MarcelOlsz wrote:
               | 5% for me + various breakage fees and other minor costs.
        
               | NewJazz wrote:
               | Can you imagine if buyers and sellers only had to pay,
               | say 1% each? The whole market would become a lot more
               | liquid. But nah, brokers are essential and have your
               | interests at heart.
        
               | s1artibartfast wrote:
               | They absolutely aren't required and fees are negotiable.
        
               | MarcelOlsz wrote:
               | Yeah sure but then nobody will ever see your property for
               | sale unless they drive by it. Purplebricks also shut down
               | in Canada.
        
               | s1artibartfast wrote:
               | What do you mean?
               | 
               | Im not sure about Canada, but Private individuals can
               | list on redfin and Zillow in the US. MLS posting must be
               | from a broker, but you can hire one flat rate upload your
               | listing
        
               | NewJazz wrote:
               | Lol yeah. Biggest joke ever.
        
               | MarcelOlsz wrote:
               | Bingo. I should have waited another 10y on the house.
        
               | axus wrote:
               | I'm gonna predict that in a 10-year trend, the house
               | price inflation will have continued. Unless you could
               | save faster than the bubble, you still wouldn't be
               | getting/keeping a house in 10 years.
        
               | MarcelOlsz wrote:
               | I'd have been WAY better off if I stayed at my parents
               | and invested it all into the S&P or something similar, or
               | even bitcoin (inb4 it's going to crash). Then kept
               | building/working/saving, and in 10y I'll have been in a
               | much better position.
        
           | venk12 wrote:
           | similar boat 7 years ago. Luckily, I found a data science job
           | that barely covered by rent and family expenses for 12hrs a
           | day. In addition I had to freelance for a 2 to 3 hours
           | everyday to make ends meet - basically sleep, work, repeat -
           | rough patch - you will get through it. Hold tight, wishing
           | you good luck!
        
           | Tade0 wrote:
           | What is going on with the IT sector in Canada?
           | 
           | I'm a contractor and last year my agency said there would be
           | layoffs, which caused quite a scare, but in the end only
           | contractors residing in Canada were affected.
        
           | carlosjobim wrote:
           | > Should not have bought a house. I'm basically screwed
           | 
           | Sell your house. You can't afford it.
        
             | MarcelOlsz wrote:
             | Yeah it's been listed for ages and I've dropped the price
             | significantly. We're all collectively waiting on the coming
             | rate announcements.
        
         | throwup238 wrote:
         | It's the privilege of renter's protections. Even with
         | nonpayment the landlord has to go through a _Tribunal
         | administratif du logement_ hearing to evict them and that
         | usually takes at least a few months unless the tenant is
         | trashing the property on their way out. The process can get
         | extended every time the tenant pays rent so if someone is
         | genuinely trying to pay as soon as they can, eviction takes a
         | while.
        
           | Ferret7446 wrote:
           | Renter's protections is one of those ideas that sound good on
           | paper. Having to keep a non-paying rentee is disastrous for a
           | landlord who is also trying to pay _their_ mortgage.
           | 
           | Sure, some landlords are large real estate companies, but all
           | you're doing is forcing out small landlords and ensuring that
           | large companies own _all_ of the rental properties.
           | 
           | (Like all regulation, it is at a fundamental level pro-
           | monopolistic, favoring large companies that can handle the
           | overhead of complying with the regulation and punishing small
           | players who cannot.)
        
             | svnt wrote:
             | If you lose the mortgage on your investment property, you
             | lose your investment property. Risk/reward and all that.
             | 
             | If a renter is evicted, the consequences for their life are
             | much more severe.
             | 
             | Not all regulation is pro-monopolistic. The accumulation of
             | general regulation and restriction is often supported by
             | incumbents but that doesn't support the sweeping conclusion
             | you've reached.
        
               | lukas099 wrote:
               | The consequences for renters is also severe if not enough
               | housing is supplied because it doesn't make financial
               | sense to do so.
        
               | patrick451 wrote:
               | If I own rental property, I should not be personally
               | responsible for subsidizing your bad financial decisions.
        
               | weitendorf wrote:
               | It's not as simple as saying that the downside for
               | landlords is merely loss of their investment and that the
               | downside for renters is homelessness. The risk of non-
               | paying tenants influences market dynamics on both sides
               | and impacts even landlords who never encounter non-paying
               | tenants, and even renters who make all their payments
               | perfectly.
               | 
               | For landlords, they have to be much more selective of
               | which tenants they take, and deny rental applications for
               | those with eg bad credit or incomes that are technically
               | enough to cover rent but leave too little of a buffer.
               | They have to either pay for some kind of insurance (I
               | don't know if this exists but I would assume it does) or
               | diversify across enough properties so that they're
               | financially protected from the risk of getting a non-
               | paying tenant. And of course, yes they may have to deal
               | with the hassle of a drawn out eviction of a non-paying
               | (and often intentionally or unintentionally destructive)
               | tenant who will likely never be able to repay the
               | landlord even if held liable in civil court, which raises
               | their costs in aggregate.
               | 
               | For tenants, besides having those increased costs and
               | income/credit requirements passed through to them, they
               | also have to pay higher security deposits. But probably
               | the biggest problem is the effect on supply. Small scale
               | property owners (especially the kind that ends up
               | becoming an "accidental landlord" because they eg bought
               | a condo and then moved) are highly disincentivized from
               | renting their property out, and when they do, they're
               | highly incentivized to not put it on the open-market and
               | instead opt for their personal network/word of mouth/in-
               | group. For example, lots of large tech companies have
               | internal housing rental groups and many properties may
               | only be advertised in places like that, or within a
               | tight-knit social group where there are real reputational
               | risks to being a non-paying tenant.
               | 
               | Really the problem IMO is that excessively permissive
               | rental protections are a kind of social welfare benefits
               | that are purely born by one part of the private sector.
               | If governments compensated landlords for unpaid rent and
               | intentional destruction from uncooperative tenants (which
               | they have done in some cases for eg covid, but these are
               | often done ad-hoc so landlords can't count on them and
               | adjust practices accordingly) who take 6-12+ months to
               | evict, then most of these problems would disappear.
        
             | carlosjobim wrote:
             | The landlord deserves zero empathy in these cases. It is
             | his job to select a reliable tenant, that's usually his
             | entire job. Anybody else who fails completely with their
             | responsibilities at their job can expect to be fired and
             | lose their income, or worse. There's an extremely large
             | surplus of honest, tidy and reliable tenants, so it's not a
             | problem for a responsible landlord to avoid going to court,
             | if they just put in the minimum effort at doing their job.
             | And if they can't handle that, they should sell the real
             | estate and not be a landlord.
        
           | btbuildem wrote:
           | Sounds like he rents a room in a house/apartment, so it's
           | probably one of his roomies that has the lease, not him. If
           | that's the case, protections wont apply here.
        
             | Thorrez wrote:
             | Why wouldn't the protections apply? They can evict him
             | without going through the proper process? Couldn't he make
             | some sort of claim against them if they do that?
        
             | throwup238 wrote:
             | If there's any record of him subleasing (like a pattern of
             | monthly rent payments), most of the protections will apply.
             | The roommate on the lease can't legally force the subleaser
             | out without the TAL hearing either. If they didn't ask for
             | permission to sublease, the roommate might have a problem
             | with the landlord depending on the terms of the lease, but
             | the tenant protections apply to anyone who's renting living
             | space.
        
         | vunderba wrote:
         | I called it out in an different thread. There's a safety net
         | here that's simply not being mentioned. Nothing wrong with that
         | _of course_ , but let's not pretend that somebody with a
         | monthly rent of ~1200 and a whopping ~60 CAD in savings would
         | somehow magically be stress free. You'd be homeless inside a
         | few months in the US.
        
           | ornornor wrote:
           | > stress free
           | 
           | But he's not. He's specifically spelling it out by saying his
           | gut and stomach issues are very likely tied to the stress of
           | his no stable income.
        
             | hn_throwaway_99 wrote:
             | Hard disagree. In his post he's talking about continuing on
             | in his own projects, and about 2025 being essentially more
             | of the same, except this time with no money and no
             | significant stable income. There is other support
             | _somewhere_ he is simply not talking about, because he
             | certainly doesn 't mention being worried about paying his
             | rent going forward.
        
               | zeroCalories wrote:
               | My theory is that he's getting alimony from his big tech
               | ex-wife that supported him through his previous
               | startups(pulling this out of my ass).
        
         | bawolff wrote:
         | Didn't he say he started with $80,000, spent it, and is now out
         | of money?
         | 
         | Presumably he now needs to either get a job asap or make some
         | hard choices. But it sounds like the post is supposed to be a
         | retrospective so its not surprising he isn't really talking
         | about the future.
         | 
         | > I don't mean to be one of those people that shout "privilege
         | 
         | He literally had enough money to blow $80,000 on 2 years of
         | unemployment. Of course he is privleged. Most people in the
         | computer industry are. Most posters to hn are. The average
         | person lives paycheque to paycheque and certainly doesn't have
         | 80k just lying around in their bank account.
        
           | osrec wrote:
           | I read somewhere that most people in the US are definitely
           | not paycheck to paycheck. The article I read claimed it's
           | around 15-20% of the working population.
        
             | bawolff wrote:
             | https://www.cnbc.com/2024/04/09/most-of-americans-are-
             | living... had 65% but the methodoly seems kind of terrible,
             | your number might be better. Either way, its a significant
             | portion, and even those with more generally don't have the
             | ability to quit their job for 2 years.
        
             | fwipsy wrote:
             | Maybe you got it from Noahpinion:
             | https://www.noahpinion.blog/p/paycheck-to-paycheck-and-
             | five-...
        
             | wigster wrote:
             | over a third in the uk
        
             | camdenreslink wrote:
             | I saw the same stat, and felt like their definition was too
             | restrictive (basically you had to spend 100% of your income
             | on your bills). Usually a small amount of extra income gets
             | spent and those people are also living paycheck to paycheck
             | for all intents and purposes.
        
               | varjag wrote:
               | Well that's what paycheck to paycheck means: you barely
               | have the ends meet for essentials. Not that you're zero
               | after topping 401(k) and your yoga classes.
        
               | truckerbill wrote:
               | <2 months rent p.m. and no savings basically, is a
               | generous definition
        
               | hombre_fatal wrote:
               | Well, you threw 401k in there for some reason.
               | 
               | But living paycheck to paycheck to most people definitely
               | does include spending one's money on non-bill things like
               | lotto tickets, consumer goods, restaurants, and things
               | beyond their means.
        
               | varjag wrote:
               | Thing is it's absolutely possible to scale up your
               | spending to any income level. And this is indeed what
               | happens with many people, this is how you get these NYT
               | pieces on households struggling on $500k. If you go by
               | this the whole expression is kinda meaningless.
        
               | ghaff wrote:
               | Maybe not _any_ income level. Well, you can buy Twitter I
               | suppose. But, yes, you can fly Netjets or whatever, buy
               | supercars, have a bunch of personal staff, and eat out at
               | Michelin-starred restaurants on a regular basis. And burn
               | through certainly multiple $100Ks or even 6 figures
               | annually pretty quickly.
        
               | FredPret wrote:
               | There was once a billionaire in Brazil who blew it all.
               | 
               | Instead of Netjets you can own your own jet(s). Instead
               | of restaurants you can buy them or have the chef come to
               | your house. At the extreme end, you can start a space
               | program.
               | 
               | The sky's the limit!
        
               | ghaff wrote:
               | Yeah. I sometimes feel like I'm being a bit extravagant
               | but it's pretty small-scale in the scheme of things. No
               | interest in multiple homes, yachts, jets, etc. Don't even
               | eat out all that much except when I'm relatively modestly
               | traveling.
        
               | EVa5I7bHFq9mnYK wrote:
               | Eating from the hand of the same chef all my life? No,
               | thanks.
        
               | regularfry wrote:
               | Having known (tangentially) someone with a live-in chef,
               | I can confirm that they do not supply literally all the
               | meals.
        
               | detourdog wrote:
               | We definitely live in a time when one can create their
               | own inflation. Khaki's in the USA can range from sub $50
               | to $900+. One can decide what is the correct price for
               | our pants.
        
               | ReptileMan wrote:
               | Paycheck to paycheck means just that - your income is
               | balancing exactly your expenses. This doesn't mean that
               | you are not living in modest luxury. Having enough money
               | to cover essentials is just definition of - at the edge
               | of poverty. Paycheck to paycheck is about (anti)
               | fragility. They overlap strongly in the bottom part of
               | the income ladder and diverge as you go up. You may be
               | financially vulnerable even if pulling a lot of income.
               | This doesn't mean that you can't get easier out of a hole
               | if you fall with higher income, but paycheck to paycheck
               | evaluate the chance of falling into it.
        
               | dingnuts wrote:
               | if this is what you think, I highly recommend you watch
               | some episodes of Financial Audit on YouTube. Lots of
               | people out there living paycheck to paycheck because they
               | spend all their money on DoorDash and interest on bad
               | debt, even with good income.
        
               | bryanrasmussen wrote:
               | I bet paycheck to paycheck like most things has a range
               | of meanings circling around the same essential thing,
               | which is that if you do not get paid next month you
               | cannot afford to live the same next month as you did this
               | one.
               | 
               | You might be able to make ends meet by cutting the 401K
               | and yoga classes, but if that's what you need to cut to
               | eat the next month, what do you cut to eat the month
               | after that?
               | 
               | This guy was obviously not living anywhere near paycheck
               | to paycheck.
        
               | shubb wrote:
               | Mandatory spending isn't stable either. In my 20s I had
               | low income, but at the end of the month I'd have a bit of
               | money left over. Then the next month my car I needed to
               | get to work would break down or I'd need to get a new
               | shirt to look nice enough for the dress code rules or
               | something. So over time I went slowly into debt.
               | 
               | By this definition I was not living paycheque to
               | paycheque, but my situation was definitely not good,
               | compared up someone who made better money but spent it
               | each month on nonessential.
        
               | MajimasEyepatch wrote:
               | I think this nails the problem with using that phrase as
               | a rallying cry. There is a difference between people
               | whose problem is that their income is too low to be
               | secure and people who could easily live a secure and
               | comfortable lifestyle if they just managed their budget
               | better.
        
               | ericd wrote:
               | The problem with that is there are also a large number of
               | people who make a large amount of money and still save
               | very little. So we should maybe put more work into
               | figuring out what is the fault of economic structure, and
               | what is the fault of poor decision making. Perhaps define
               | some metric that's a measure of what percentage of people
               | would be unlikely to be able to do anything other than
               | live paycheck to paycheck to paycheck in their current
               | setup and where they live.
        
               | bawolff wrote:
               | If losing your job means you won't be able to make rent
               | this month, i'd consider that paycheque to paycheque.
               | Like that is literally what the phrase is saying.
               | 
               | Whether that is because you simply dont have much money,
               | or you spent it all on something frivilous is immaterial.
        
               | alsetmusic wrote:
               | Yes, absolutely. I took a job where the company (a major
               | one) effed up HR in some way where I and another person,
               | who got hired at the same time, didn't get paid for
               | around six weeks. He got evicted from his apartment. I
               | had the means to keep mine. His life was ruined. Mine
               | kept on. I believe his situation is / was far more common
               | than mine.
        
               | detourdog wrote:
               | My first job in NYC paid very little. I did something to
               | my foot that required surgery and about 6 weeks on
               | crutches. I ended up spending most of my paycheck at that
               | time to getting car service from Brooklyn to Manhattan
               | for work. During that time I was just spending whatever
               | was needed to maintain the status quo. Only years later
               | did I realize the privilege I was experiencing. During
               | that time I remember colleagues remarking in disbelief
               | that I was taking car service to work. My thinking was
               | the only alternative was the subway and no way thought I
               | was experiencing privilege. I was just trying to keep my
               | job.
        
               | oblio wrote:
               | You were being taxied to and from work for what seems
               | like a big distance ? Yeah, for sure most people can't
               | afford that :-)
        
               | detourdog wrote:
               | That was my point. One is struggling with life and it may
               | not have to do with money/resources. The struggle removes
               | the sense of privilege from the fore front of one's
               | thoughts. I was spending $40 a day while earning $70 a
               | day. Later on I realized that for some people that would
               | have ended their NYC experience.
        
               | jghn wrote:
               | > you barely have the ends meet for essentials
               | 
               | This exact debate showed up on another thread here the
               | other day. While I agree with you, I was surprised to
               | learn that many people view it to mean that tdon't have
               | anything extra *after* they've done all of their socking
               | away of money each money. Which is weird to me, but hey.
        
               | lucb1e wrote:
               | I'm not an English native speaker but that doesn't sound
               | correct to me. If you need next month's paycheck in order
               | to _survive_ that month, for whatever reason (even if you
               | gambled last month 's money away, much less saved up for
               | retirement or spent it on your health), that's my
               | understanding of living paycheck to paycheck: you miss
               | one paycheck and you're bust. (I assume you can't take it
               | back out of that 401k thing or it wouldn't be a pension
               | fund but a bank account. Correct me if I'm wrong about
               | the mechanics of a 401k)
               | 
               | Dictionary seems to agree, Merriam Webster says: "to
               | spend all of the money from one paycheck before receiving
               | the next paycheck", not specifying that you can't have
               | spent the money on semi-essentials that could perhaps be
               | moved by a few months but you'd need to catch up with
               | sooner or later
        
               | MajimasEyepatch wrote:
               | The problem with "paycheck to paycheck" is that it evokes
               | images of people struggling to make ends meet--to pay the
               | rent, keep the lights on, and put food on the table. But
               | a lot of people today are using it to mean someone who's
               | living beyond their means--spending $1100/month on a
               | brand new pickup truck while sending their kids to
               | private school and maxing out their 401k. That's not a
               | problem of an unfair economy; it's simply poor
               | discipline. And so when a half-assed marketing survey
               | asks people if they're living paycheck to paycheck, you
               | end up with 60% of respondents saying, "Yes," when in
               | reality only maybe 20% are struggling because they're in
               | a truly difficult situation. The rest of them may just
               | need to settle for a less expensive car and maybe turn
               | down their 401k contribution for six months so they can
               | pay off their credit cards.
        
             | xivzgrev wrote:
             | The US Fed came out with a stat a few years ago that 40% of
             | Americans wouldn't have cash to cover a $400 emergency:
             | they'd have to sell something, borrow, or other.
             | 
             | That's pretty much paycheck to paycheck if your savings are
             | that low.
        
               | ghaff wrote:
               | As I recall, there was also some disagreement in
               | discussions over what "having cash" meant. A lot of
               | people have ready access to assets that aren't
               | necessarily literally cash.
        
               | eek2121 wrote:
               | We have no savings right now (I am not working) and could
               | afford a $400 emergency, but we live paycheck to
               | paycheck. Income is good, the extra just gets spent on
               | various things due to having multiple disabled people in
               | the house. Eventually we hope to rebuild the savings.
        
               | taxman22 wrote:
               | The question asked how somebody would pay for an
               | unexpected $400 expense. If you answered "credit card"
               | then you were considered to not have the cash to cover an
               | emergency. I'd use a credit card...and pay it off when
               | it's due.
        
               | dingnuts wrote:
               | YOU would, but a lot of people with credit cards don't
               | even understand that it's a loan, or what compound
               | interest is. They put the expense on the card and then
               | pay the minimum payment, either until it's paid off with
               | insane interest, or they keep racking up debt until they
               | reach their limit and get a worse card, until they're
               | trapped in a cycle of poverty
               | 
               | seriously, everyone in this thread should watch Financial
               | Audit and see how people outside the silicon valley
               | bubble really live. That show has extreme examples to be
               | sure but there are so many people like this
        
               | Aeolun wrote:
               | I find it hard to sympathize with people that have enough
               | money to pay off their card bills but don't actually do
               | so because they can't be bothered to read.
        
               | pastage wrote:
               | It is easy to make mistakes when you margins are razor
               | thin. They might be stupid mistakes it still happens and
               | you notice them more because your margins become even
               | smaller. I have been there, being really poor was hard on
               | me.
               | 
               | Not an excuse for using credit cards, just an explanation
               | why you should sympathize.
        
               | oblio wrote:
               | In many places the fault is not shifted to the
               | potentially vulnerable or undereducated consumer and
               | instead overdraft charges are capped.
               | 
               | In the US everyone is basically forced to have a credit
               | card and use it but many have little financial literacy,
               | especially immigrants.
        
               | ghaff wrote:
               | Yep. In the US, I would _of course_ pay for an unexpected
               | car repair (or indeed most any expense) with a credit
               | card. It doesn 't mean it won't be paid off at the end of
               | the month in essentially all cases. So one of those
               | meaningless statistics.
        
               | Jabbles wrote:
               | How are you all discussing this question from memory
               | without linking to the source?
               | 
               | Poorly, that's how.
               | 
               |  _When faced with a hypothetical expense of $400, 63
               | percent of all adults in 2022 said they would have
               | covered it exclusively using cash, savings, or a credit
               | card paid off at the next statement (referred to,
               | altogether, as "cash or its equivalent")_
               | 
               | https://www.federalreserve.gov/publications/2023-economic
               | -we...).
        
               | ChadNauseam wrote:
               | So this statistic means most people are not living
               | paycheck to paycheck right? (Although I didn't think that
               | "paycheck to paycheck" meant you would be ruined by an
               | unexpected $400 expense)
               | 
               | Anyway, it still doesn't seem like most people live
               | paycheck to paycheck, according to your link:
               | 
               | > Some financial challenges, such as a job loss, require
               | more financial resources than would an unexpected $400
               | expense. One common measure of financial resiliency is
               | whether people have savings sufficient to cover three
               | months of expenses if they lost their primary source of
               | income. In 2023, 54 percent of adults said they had set
               | aside money for three months of expenses in an emergency
               | savings or "rainy day" fund--unchanged from 2022 but down
               | from a high of 59 percent of adults in 2021.
        
               | Aeolun wrote:
               | That's a weird stat. If I spend all my $10k/month so that
               | I end up with $0, I'd be included in that stat, which is
               | clearly insane.
        
             | readams wrote:
             | It"s definitely not true
             | https://www.noahpinion.blog/p/paycheck-to-paycheck-and-
             | five-...
        
             | bronco21016 wrote:
             | I've always understood paycheck to paycheck to describe
             | households that don't have a buffer. Meaning, if the
             | paychecks suddenly stop, or a sudden large expense, there's
             | nothing to bridge the gap other than social programs.
             | 
             | By this definition, I would imagine a very large number of
             | US households fit the mould.
        
             | browningstreet wrote:
             | Recent Noahpinion on this...
             | 
             | https://www.noahpinion.blog/p/paycheck-to-paycheck-and-
             | five-...
        
             | mplewis wrote:
             | 50% of Americans don't have an emergency fund. That's
             | paycheck to paycheck.
        
             | jknoepfler wrote:
             | No idea how credible the underlying BoA study is, but from
             | [1]:
             | 
             | >>> According to our analysis, in 2024, around a quarter of
             | all households fall into this camp, an increase from 2019.
             | 
             | They define living paycheck to paycheck as spending 95+% of
             | income on necessities (housing, food, etc.)
             | 
             | [1] https://institute.bankofamerica.com/economic-
             | insights/payche...
        
           | turnsout wrote:
           | To me, $80k sounds like a very small amount of "F-You" money.
           | I'm not criticizing the OP at all, but if I quit my job with
           | 80k in the bank, I would _immediately_ start researching the
           | most painful B2B problem I could solve _quickly_ using AI.
           | Not to generate an income stream, but to build an asset (the
           | business) to sell.
           | 
           | That's the quickest path to $1M. Software developers are too
           | caught up on salary (or 73 different "income streams" that
           | all make $0), and rarely think about building a valuable
           | business.
        
             | ghaff wrote:
             | I dunno. That seems a pretty quick path to a 74th income
             | stream that makes $0. Especially at the moment, I'm not
             | seeing a lot of money trees around. Not that I needed them,
             | but when I semi-retired a number of possible revenue
             | streams sort of evaporated--not that I looked _too_ hard.
             | 
             | But if you deliberately quit, that may be the thing to do.
             | A more conservative person would probably counsel getting
             | at least a part-time job that pays a salary though.
        
               | turnsout wrote:
               | To be specific, I would quit the other 73 income streams
               | and stop any extracurricular activities until I shipped
               | something. Even though AI feels overhyped (it sort of
               | is), we're still early in the game, and there's _plenty_
               | of money to be made. Businesses still have a ton of time-
               | consuming, expensive pain points. You just have to pick
               | an industry and go talk to insiders to figure out what to
               | build.
        
               | ghaff wrote:
               | I won't argue if I had a bunch of other activities
               | consuming most of my bandwidth that weren't bringing in
               | any money. If you really need cash though, I might
               | consider lower risk, lower reward options on at least a
               | part-time basis as well though. Doing a startup isn't
               | exactly a high ROI activity in general--especially in a
               | max-hype area.
        
               | turnsout wrote:
               | Very true--for a software developer, part-time consulting
               | is probably the quickest path to making some money. It's
               | a lower-risk, but much lower-leverage option than a 0-1
               | startup. Building a startup has a high risk of going to
               | zero, but if you've chosen the right customer, the
               | potential upside is dramatically higher than any other
               | option.
        
               | FredPret wrote:
               | I'm in business technology consulting. You're right about
               | tons of pain points and opportunity.
               | 
               | But the limiting factor is not AI or any kind of tech,
               | it's getting these businesses to trust you with fitting
               | into their existing systems and giving you their time.
        
               | turnsout wrote:
               | 100%. Another reason to start by talking to customers.
               | The product has to be more than useful--it has to fit
               | into their current workflow. Most B2B startups
               | underinvest in sales (which is not the same as sending
               | 100,000 cold emails).
        
             | johann8384 wrote:
             | If you can just do that, then why are you not quitting your
             | job and why don't you have $800k in the bank?
             | 
             | It's easy, just build a million dollar asset and sell it.
             | Pssh, I am on my third one this week.
        
               | turnsout wrote:
               | Something can be both conceptually simple yet difficult
               | to execute. (The key to losing weight is "just" to eat
               | less and exercise, piano is "just a bunch of keys," etc)
               | 
               | Personally I have a mortgage and a family, so I'm not
               | eager to burn through savings to build a company 0-1, but
               | if I had to, I described exactly what I would do.
        
               | ptsneves wrote:
               | Hehehe, you just described most normal people: a mortgage
               | a family, cannot just wake up and say I am going all-in
               | "this great idea". Your idea is therefore only reachable
               | for early age people or singles. I am trying to revive a
               | project I believe strongly which is kind of ready to
               | sale, but I cannot get a damn 4 hours to seat down and
               | look at it without being interrupted by life's chores or
               | just being too tired Anyway I have similar fantasies to
               | yours. It feels good to not be alone, both in
               | circumstances as in fantasy.
        
               | turnsout wrote:
               | I've been there! I recently released an app that has been
               | 99% ready for sale for a full year, and the only way I
               | got it over the finish line was to wake up every morning
               | at 5am to get an hour or two of work in before my kid
               | wakes up. :) I'd love to do something bigger, but this
               | will have to scratch that entrepreneurial itch for now!
        
               | rwmj wrote:
               | I posted an idea for a proven business a few days ago
               | based on an area why my employer has given up on (too
               | "small" for a multi-billion dollar company) and yet
               | customers still seem to like and want[1]. I'm pretty sure
               | this would be worth a few million at least, and I'd even
               | be qualified to do it. Why don't I do it? Because it
               | would be dull as ditchwater and I'd hate every minute of
               | it. There's more to life than that.
               | 
               | The point is that solving dull business problems like
               | that might be lucrative, but not many of us are motivated
               | enough to do them.
               | 
               | [1] https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=42305336
        
               | oblio wrote:
               | I can't find your email address, I'm interested in that
               | idea :-)
               | 
               | Is there a way to contact you? I couldn't find it in your
               | profile, unfortunately.
        
               | rwmj wrote:
               | Believe me, I'm really not interested in taking part. For
               | the product that was deprecated you can see here:
               | https://www.ovirt.org/
               | https://access.redhat.com/products/red-hat-virtualization
               | I wish you luck.
        
           | gdilla wrote:
           | He's privileged sure, not because he had 80K in the bank to
           | burn through, but because he knows it's not the end of him
           | when it's burnt through. He COULD get a job and steady income
           | if he wanted, in at least that 80K range (probably double
           | really). So meh. Good for him though for scratching his
           | itches though. Any dude who can code can be a wage slave if
           | they really want to.
        
             | zeroCalories wrote:
             | I admire the self-confidence and the freedom it brings. I
             | sometimes wish I had the courage to go down my own path.
        
           | OtomotO wrote:
           | The average person in the US maybe.
           | 
           | And the third world.
           | 
           | In Western Europe? Not so much. I mean, yes, there are poor
           | people, but the middle class mostly doesn't live paycheck to
           | paycheck.
        
             | rsynnott wrote:
             | Most Western European countries do have higher savings
             | rates than the US, but, disregarding Switzerland, Ireland
             | and the Nordics (ie small wealthy countries with very high
             | cost of living), it's not a _dramatic_ difference. People
             | may be less likely to be living paycheck to paycheck, but
             | being able to just take two years off not working, unless
             | you had very low living costs, would still be very unusual.
        
               | jajko wrote:
               | A _lot_ of people adjust their lifestyle to paycheck, so
               | little is left afterwards. Concept of savings is quite
               | foreign to them, they want to enjoy life now. So paycheck
               | to paycheck, while sporting newest highend phone or other
               | gizmos, nice package of vacations through the year or
               | just look at fashion clothes they wear and how often they
               | buy new ones.
               | 
               | I mean I would fit in this category too for maybe past
               | decade, little cash left over after paycheck but I did
               | like exotic 5 vacations per year and invested rest into
               | mortgage for mountain apartment for rentals.
        
               | swiftcoder wrote:
               | I think the difference in available social services here
               | is also necessary to take into account. Someone laid off
               | in, say, Spain, already has full healthcare provided by
               | the state, and qualifies for an unemployment benefit
               | based on their most recent salary for up to 3 years -
               | this makes for a significantly less precarious position
               | than that same person recently laid off in the US.
        
             | cscurmudgeon wrote:
             | Not really.
             | 
             | 1. Most Americans are not paycheck-to-paycheck. It is what
             | politicians constantly say depending on whether they are in
             | power or not.
             | 
             | https://old.reddit.com/r/AskEconomics/comments/1dbpaag/do_t
             | h...
             | 
             | 2. Americans have higher disposable income at all income
             | levels than Europeans (Western Europe included).
             | 
             | https://www.reddit.com/r/europe/comments/xgoouz/americans_h
             | a...
        
           | hn_throwaway_99 wrote:
           | > But it sounds like the post is supposed to be a
           | retrospective so its not surprising he isn't really talking
           | about the future.
           | 
           | No, my specific point is that he does _not_ sound like he
           | needs to make hard choices, and he is alluding to continuing
           | working on his own projects in the future. He writes:
           | 
           | > I made resolutions: to make $1M in revenue in 2025. Well,
           | that's not really happening... But rest assured, I do
           | everything possible to reach that goal rather sooner than
           | later.
           | 
           | and
           | 
           | > blymp is the only one generating money -- about $600/month
           | -- and the one I plan to continue next year. Yay!
           | 
           | and finishes with
           | 
           | > Here's to a promising year 2025. My third year without a
           | job. A year when I give more than I receive. A year of
           | patience. And a year of an even deeper connection with
           | myself. Cheers!
           | 
           | And sure, people that make a high income job are privileged,
           | but I was using it in the sense that you frequently see it
           | used online, specifically that he has a backup pool of
           | money/support somewhere, most likely family, that he
           | conspicuously leaves out of his post.
        
           | maronato wrote:
           | > Here's to a promising year 2025. My third year without a
           | job. A year when I give more than I receive. A year of
           | patience. And a year of an even deeper connection with
           | myself.
           | 
           | He does talk about the future and seems to imply he'll
           | continue to not have a job.
           | 
           | If that's the case, I'm with GP in wondering how he's going
           | to make it past January.
        
         | ornornor wrote:
         | > I don't mean to be one of those people that shout "privilege"
         | at every turn on the Internet, but most people with no savings
         | and barely any income would be freaking out unless they had
         | some family or support network to lean on, which I noticed any
         | discussion of is suspiciously absent.
         | 
         | I understand the sentiment but I don't understand why point it
         | out. It's not like the blog post in question is putting anyone
         | down, complaining about anything, or being obnoxious.
         | 
         | There will always be someone more privileged than you are. Why
         | constantly remind yourself (and others) about it if the more
         | privileged person isn't harming anyone?
        
           | vasco wrote:
           | Yeah this just sounds like my mom saying "finish your food
           | because there's starving kids in africa".
        
           | hn_throwaway_99 wrote:
           | I point it out because he's leaving out a _very_ important
           | part of his story. He 's come to the end of 2024 with no
           | money left and no stable income, yet he talks about
           | continuing on more of the same in 2025, so he's got to have
           | some other significant support from _somewhere_ , and that's
           | critical to his story. In my mind the better analogy is
           | fitness influencers that go into detail about their diet and
           | exercise regimen, and then conveniently leave out their
           | weekly testosterone shots.
           | 
           | I don't judge him at all for being privileged or what he's
           | done. I judge him for leaving out what I think is the most
           | important part of the story: how he could go on this journey
           | and come to a point where he's got no money left but he isn't
           | freaking out about being homeless or getting food.
        
             | MPSFounder wrote:
             | I agree with your sentiment. I am at loss how he plans to
             | pay his rent and food given 60$ to his account. The income
             | he mentioned does not cover one month's rent. This is a
             | stark difference between privilege and lack-thereof. The
             | blog post is nonsense given he does not address any of his
             | fixes, while leads me to believe he has family or spousal
             | support (for otherwise, they would not be picking up new
             | hobbies. I was once broke, and I recall being panicked and
             | working gigs to pay my rent. The fact he is doing none of
             | these leads me to agree with your observations).
        
         | Havoc wrote:
         | Definitely feels like there is some sort of unmentioned safety
         | net at play. Or guy is just fearless.
        
         | EVa5I7bHFq9mnYK wrote:
         | There is no problem surviving for a young healthy man in
         | Montreal. One can always uber, deliveroo, tend bars etc, and it
         | pays pretty well. Nothing to freak out about.
        
           | hn_throwaway_99 wrote:
           | Fair enough, but then talking about this going forward would
           | be a critical part of his story, because he talks about
           | continuing on in 2025 developing his projects and essentially
           | more of the same, which becomes considerably more difficult
           | if he's going to spend 30-40 hours a week driving for Uber.
        
       | StressedDev wrote:
       | This is a good example of why entrepreneurs, founders, and
       | investors should make a lot of money. Frequently, they fail, or
       | go for years making very little. Starting a successful business
       | is incredibly hard and I wish shilin (the person who wrote the
       | article) the best.
        
         | blharr wrote:
         | I mean, or it heavily restricts the pool of founders to mostly
         | those who already have enough wealth such that they won't be
         | homeless.
         | 
         | I don't see why a safety net wouldn't mitigate this risk in the
         | first place, which would then allow for more people to take
         | these risks and come up with great ideas as well
        
       | robofanatic wrote:
       | How can someone with $68 in bank so articulate.
        
         | selimthegrim wrote:
         | You must be fun at parties.
        
       | motohagiography wrote:
       | Similar story for me in 2017-19 era. Ran out of money never
       | thought I would work again, picked up a consulting contract,
       | parlayed it into more, have since succeeded to the point of being
       | discreet about it. I've come to believe opportunity finds us.
       | 
       | If you can be fit and pursue arts or hobbies, you're already
       | doing what people think they need to be wealthy to do, and most
       | wealthy people are boring anyway.
       | 
       | Run a CRM pipeline to get a job and you will have one in a couple
       | of months, then use the stability as a way to find customers for
       | your next thing. If you can't run a pipeline for yourself, you
       | won't be able to do it for a startup anyway. You're fine. Good
       | luck.
        
         | jumparoundwords wrote:
         | Highly agree with your comment, just wondering what you mean
         | with "CRM pipeline to get a job"?
        
       | anotheracc88 wrote:
       | Ooh. Lesson: if you are out of work go bare bones. You don't need
       | a entrepenerial flat in the city. You need a shitty room in the
       | suburbs where you can commute to the city by train or bus ideally
       | (dont have a car). Call it runway and it sounds better. If you
       | spent 20k/y then the 60k becones 75k in the market and you are
       | doing better.
        
         | sahmeepee wrote:
         | Yes, I'm not sure how helpful it is in TFA to compare living
         | costs against average living costs in the area and then call it
         | a win if you're anywhere below.
         | 
         | If I was unemployed my living costs would be far, far below
         | average, even allowing for the "it's expensive being poor"
         | factors. Even when I've been in low pay jobs I've lived on very
         | little and definitely didn't feel like I had budget for
         | "travel" or other non-essentials.
         | 
         | As an employable person without work, before I reached negative
         | bank balance I'm pretty certain I would have found a crappy job
         | to at least slow the decline and buy more time. I can't see
         | from this story why that hasn't been deemed necessary here.
        
           | jlarocco wrote:
           | I was thinking the same thing.
           | 
           | The average person has a job and income. What's the average
           | for a person taking extended time off?
        
       | gexla wrote:
       | Nobody is jobless. You either have a job or you don't need a job.
       | If you need a job, then finding a job is your full time job. Do
       | your marketing. Build your offerings (skills.) Slam your
       | offerings against the market as much as possible to get feedback.
       | 
       | I couldn't imagine anyone wanting a job not finding one. At least
       | in the US, there's industries hurting for skills shortages. We're
       | also on the edge of a cliff of baby boomers retiring.
        
         | denysvitali wrote:
         | Getting a good job is hard - especially today.
         | 
         | Getting a low-salary one, unrelated to your skills, is fairly
         | easy (e.g: waiter).
        
         | selimthegrim wrote:
         | May I introduce you to the New Orleans metropolitan area.
        
       | paxys wrote:
       | 2 years living in a big city enjoying entrepreneurship, hacking,
       | socializing, music, sports, climbing, triathlons - all without
       | the shackles of a 9-5 office job - sounds like a dream.
       | Resourceful people find ways to pay their bills, and I'm sure you
       | will as well. Best of luck!
        
       | Topgamer7 wrote:
       | For the author, you probably have IBS.
       | 
       | I have similar symptoms, and basically I can't eat anything with
       | Peppers or Chilies. The whole fruiting family. So no paprika. You
       | would be absolutely floored to find out how many things paprika
       | is in. Basically every flavour of chip you like. Curries often
       | have them too.
        
         | cowsandmilk wrote:
         | Expanding on this, OP, please see a GI doctor. These could also
         | be signs of much worse things you want to catch early.
        
       | graycat wrote:
       | Check it out, but ~2020 saw where in the US could BUY a nice
       | _manufactured house_ , with a mortgage, for ~$300/month. Land?
       | Some small rural communities have been falling in population and
       | are eager for new people -- sooooo, land for the house might not
       | be too much.
       | 
       | Be sure to have cell phone and Internet access and be not too far
       | from a Walmart, a hospital, and, maybe, auto repair. In the US
       | can get nice weather, usually not too hot or cold or too wet or
       | dry, in the East at the latitude of, say, Kentucky.
       | 
       | In Maryland, Virginia, and DC, there is lots of Federal Civil
       | Service employment, and the hiring is not based much on "who you
       | know" but what you can do, education, experience.
        
         | selimthegrim wrote:
         | Let's see if that last bit lasts after Jan 20
        
       | nikolay wrote:
       | The new generation thinks your job should be fun and interesting,
       | but that's rare and a luxury. I see young coworkers leave an
       | excellent job after months, often less than 6 months even. It
       | used to be that I would not even interview candidates who had
       | less than 2 years in any job on their resume - it was the
       | industry's standard. Now it's rare to find somebody who has had 2
       | years in any job - this is beyond pathetic! Entrepreneurship is
       | different than self-experimentation. If you have a killer idea,
       | if you've done the market analysis, and the business plan - ok,
       | great - quit your job! But to leave a decent job to play
       | entrepreneur - that's pretty irresponsible! Stoicism is extinct!
        
       | unethical_ban wrote:
       | I'm in network security and I want to quit so badly. I feel
       | trapped in a job and team dynamic I don't like. I own my truck
       | and have $275k in liquid assets.
       | 
       | I've been thinking of quitting with the assumption that my job
       | skills will still be relevant in two or three years and that I
       | have strong social skills that help stand out and a crowded
       | worker field.
       | 
       | I just want to take care of some long-standing tasks, clean out
       | my house, and enjoy waking up each day.
        
         | Schiendelman wrote:
         | I would recommend going and interviewing and changing
         | companies. Get anyone else to hire you, it's better than zero
         | income, and then you can figure out if it's the culture of your
         | company bothering you.
        
       | fafhnir wrote:
       | Here is a good example of someone who shies away from
       | responsibility for himself and others.
       | 
       | 2 years time for what? To build something with other people? A
       | partner, family, children?
       | 
       | Nope, just doing what brings him fun or fulfillment or whatnot...
       | 
       | I'm not saying it's bad to take care of yourself from time to
       | time. But as a father of 5, I can definitely say that the best
       | and most instructive moments in my life were definitely the ones
       | where it wasn't about me but about people who were important to
       | me.
       | 
       | And the money issue that most people seem to be talking about
       | here: Go to work and earn money. That's life. It always has been.
       | If people would only do what fulfills them, there would be no
       | sewer workers or garbage collectors. Whenever you take advantage
       | of a developed society, you always have a duty to give something
       | back to it.
       | 
       | If there is not Time enough after a 8 hour shift to to what you
       | want, you have a serious Problem.
        
         | justmedep wrote:
         | I totally disagree and don't even know where to begin...
         | 
         | People are different. Some are just not "as resilient" as
         | others. Some have mental issues. Some have other priorities in
         | life. Some people are just overwhelmed when they have to focus
         | on more than one thing (their own wellbeing) - which should and
         | cannot be confused with selflessness.
         | 
         | Not everyone wants to accept the common conceptions of life.
         | And that's ok.
        
       | delitrem wrote:
       | I'm a kind of political fugitive (probably will go into the
       | prison for the beliefs if return to the country of origin),
       | living in one of EU countries, married, having a little child and
       | two dogs, owning apartament, have no significant health issues,
       | also having second year without income at all, having some money
       | on banking account, full-time working for the own startup on open
       | source project. And I do not feel very disappointed.
        
       | jstanley wrote:
       | > I used to think that I overspent. That my groceries could have
       | been cheaper. That I could have eaten out or traveled less. Then
       | a few months ago, I went on NomadList and found out that the
       | average living cost in Montreal is $3,750/mo. Considering that I
       | spent the first year in Ottawa/Toronto, where the cost of living
       | is even higher, my spending habits turned out not that bad after
       | all. I'm not just average -- I'm slightly better!
       | 
       | This philosophy may not be ideal for your circumstances. You
       | already knew you had limited funds and no income. "Slightly
       | better than average" is overspending.
        
       | _rrnv wrote:
       | There's a moral in this story but the HN crowd ain't gonna like
       | it: money is capital. Two years ago the author had no job and 80k
       | in the bank. At least half was disposable. Had he invested that
       | 40k or more in a risk-averse fashion (20% s&p/btc; 80% t-bills)
       | his position today would be much better. Instead he ate through
       | his capital. Always invest your disposable savings or income.
       | Hate me now. Thank me later.
        
         | Vinnl wrote:
         | Depends on when that money is going to result in the most
         | valuable experiences, of course.
        
         | nitwit005 wrote:
         | He was investing it, in starting new businesses. He has revenue
         | from one. The return just wasn't what he wanted.
        
           | Invictus0 wrote:
           | I'll sell you a $600/mo revenue stream for $80k any day of
           | the week. Bro should have just bought a business.
        
         | Existenceblinks wrote:
         | Yep, 2024 market is considerably too good though. When he about
         | to quit, I'd expect 8% yield (pessimistic) per year, so
         | $6.4k/yr or $533/mo, that's "good" living quality in non major
         | cities in Thailand. But to be fair, it's only good for locals,
         | not for foreigners. And that $80k also needs to be invested 1
         | year before quitting.
         | 
         | It's doable for extending up to 3x of his runway.
        
           | lottin wrote:
           | If you get 8% returns per year on average, the expected
           | annualized return over a multi-year period is going to be
           | LESS than 8%.
           | 
           | This is because you won't get exactly 8% each year. For
           | example, suppose the returns over a 3-year period are: 20%,
           | -10%, 14%. In this case, the return over the whole period is
           | 23.21% (= (1 + 0.20) * (1 - 0.10) * (1 + 0.14) - 1). On the
           | other hand, a 8% return each year would have resulted in a
           | 25.97% return over the whole period (= (1 + 0.08)^3 - 1).
        
             | ericpauley wrote:
             | When people say x% average annual return this is almost
             | always referring to geometric mean already, so the above
             | math doesn't apply.
        
         | jarsin wrote:
         | The type of people that want to start companies rarely invest.
         | Once you adopt an investor mindset you start to see startups as
         | one of the riskiest investments you could ever make.
         | 
         | I've seen quite a few one hit entrepreneurs lose it all chasing
         | the next idea and never investing anything.
        
         | greenie_beans wrote:
         | you can always earn more money after you spend it
        
       | byyoung3 wrote:
       | Try carnivore bro. Read the mind body prescription by John Sarno.
       | Meditate 20 mins per day
        
       | acd10j wrote:
       | Not sure, If he has option OP can ask his parents to help or live
       | with them. Having zero balance in account is not a very good
       | situation to be in.
        
       | p00dles wrote:
       | Well I'll be damned if it didn't make my day to read somebody
       | talking so honestly about their life. Thanks for the being
       | relatable, and for putting yourself out there.
        
       | ChiMan wrote:
       | The moral of the story: Don't quit your job unless you have an
       | employment contract for another one or if you have a reliable,
       | growing side hustle that generates enough income to live on. Real
       | life bites hard, and $80k is peanuts.
        
         | titanomachy wrote:
         | Did we read the same article? This guy is spending his time
         | learning music, mastering a sport, spending time with close
         | friends, and your takeaway is "he should be grinding away at a
         | corporate like everyone else"?
         | 
         | There's a lot of different ways to live. Personally I like
         | taking periods of voluntary unemployment to explore other
         | interests. Finding a job after has never been a problem.
         | 
         | A large percentage of the population has at least some safety
         | net. Probably the average 25 year old could move back in with
         | their parents for a year if things got really bad.
        
           | ChiMan wrote:
           | In other words, the parents protect the kid from real life.
           | No thanks.
        
             | titanomachy wrote:
             | Or allow the kid to take risks and do more with their lives
             | than they would otherwise, and become self-sufficient in an
             | interesting and unexpected way.
             | 
             | What would you want for your own kids? 45 years of grudging
             | corporate toil, then death?
             | 
             | What's the point of become a wealthy and prosperous society
             | if we're so goddamn uncreative about how we live in it?
        
               | testval123 wrote:
               | That is privileged take. The things we take for granted
               | in a 'prosperous' society- food on grocery store shelves,
               | doctors available in the ER, plumbers to fix your
               | plumbing, etc. etc. all require people to work 'standard'
               | hours and follow 'standard' paths. The path of the
               | 'creative' tech worker taking two years off is incredibly
               | privileged, and I would argue infantilizing.
        
               | titanomachy wrote:
               | If our society falls apart, it won't be because I took a
               | break from deploying kubernetes clusters for three months
               | so I could get better at skiing and volunteer on the
               | suicide hotline.
               | 
               | And yeah, this is a very privileged take. Is there some
               | other way you'd prefer that I use my privilege?
        
               | nmilo wrote:
               | No shit. The whole point of being a parent is to give
               | your kids as much privilege as you can. Why are you
               | talking like it's a bad thing? My parents moved here to
               | bring me a better life than them and I'm working to give
               | my kids a better life than me. Are you planning on
               | hoarding all your money and making your kids stock
               | shelves to keep them away from "privilege"?
        
               | em-bee wrote:
               | this is a common attitude, especially in china where i
               | have observed it, but it is much less common in europe.
               | myself for example i am the total opposite. i don't know
               | what my parents goals were, but i don't think it was
               | giving us a better life. not that it matters though,
               | because i am proud that i never needed financial support
               | from my parents. i achieved more of my goals and dreams
               | than my parents did of theirs because my parents, as
               | imperfect as they were, gave me resilience.
               | 
               | and that is what i want to give to my kids as well. not
               | privilege. i want them to learn that not everyone has it
               | as good as we do, and that we need to work in order to
               | have a better life, and that we need to help others do
               | the same. perhaps this is itself a position of privilege
               | to be able to do that instead of living in a comfortable
               | place in europe where my neighbors would like to go to to
               | have a better life.
        
           | mplewis wrote:
           | This guy is spending more than he makes. Who is bankrolling
           | him?
        
             | titanomachy wrote:
             | It sounds like he is bankrolling himself, by working and
             | saving up money.
        
               | baobabKoodaa wrote:
               | According to the article, no he isn't
        
       | javiramos wrote:
       | Accutane killed my stomach for a good while
        
       | Jabbs wrote:
       | Are you looking for a job now? It seems the market is even
       | tougher than it was a few years ago. I have built an app to
       | scrape job listings directly from company websites if you're
       | interested
        
         | jjordan wrote:
         | I'm interested, how can I check it out?
        
           | Jabbs wrote:
           | https://www.unlistedjobs.com/
           | 
           | If you signup and want it free please just email me (listed
           | on my profile). Currently asking $15/mo for the app
        
       | the__alchemist wrote:
       | I wonder how the dating world would go, given he's divorced, even
       | before running out of money. I.e.: I think most women would
       | immediately reject someone unemployed. (Even if he had money)
       | Taking a risk like this while in a relationship is probably fine,
       | but trying to start one with a stranger is likely to be
       | significantly more difficult than while employed.
        
         | Aeolun wrote:
         | Just have to find someone else that's unemployed? Or someone
         | that doesn't care? If there's men that don't care a woman is
         | unemployed the reverse must be true too.
        
           | mettamage wrote:
           | The way I see it, the more disadvantages you have the more
           | you need to make up for it with charisma. That's how I do it
           | anyway. Charisma is trainable. It's not easy to train, but it
           | ultimately is trainable.
        
         | titanomachy wrote:
         | Being single for a couple years isn't the end of the world.
         | Besides, he's in the climbing community, which (at least from
         | the outside) appears to be chock full of barely-employed
         | attractive men and women who all sleep with each other.
        
         | bradlys wrote:
         | I have more experience with this than most of the HN crowd.
         | I've not been working for 2.5 years. Being unemployed is
         | considered unattractive but if you spin it - it's not too bad.
         | I spin it as, "I did startups in SV, one of them went public. I
         | have plenty of money." Most everyone gets it but some women are
         | put off by it. I'm literally taking time away from SV because
         | I'm on the hunt for a wife. I couldn't find one after being in
         | SV for 8 years and so now I'm in NYC where at least I can
         | actually meet women. I've traveled a lot as well but I don't
         | recommend that as a way to meet your future wife. Dating
         | culture outside of the US is very different and very few women
         | will be interested in dating someone who is traveling around.
         | There are also other issues like being used for a green card
         | and so on. Sleeping/dating around casually isn't as much of a
         | thing in other countries and it's a necessity if you're going
         | to try to form an intense bond with someone.
         | 
         | Overall, I think for a tech worker, the real issue is that so
         | many women will not date a tech worker to begin with because of
         | the low social status associated with dating a tech worker.
         | I've met thousands at this point and it's honestly made me
         | regret joining this industry. I do not advocate for it at all.
         | 
         | I think the bigger hurdle with dating beyond that anyway is
         | physical attraction. The bar for that is really high now. Being
         | a rock climber only attracts certain types because rock
         | climbing tends to have more lanky builds. You better hope
         | you're attracted to women who only want to date slim built men.
         | That is a niche woman. As well, you can't escape your baseline
         | genetics like height, facial attractiveness, etc. People talk
         | about rock climbers sleeping with each other all the time but
         | it's mostly men who are rock climbing. There are some women but
         | the ratio is 3:1 - which means you're 2/3 chance of not getting
         | anywhere.
        
           | louwrentius wrote:
           | The amount of sexism and stereotypes about women is
           | astounding. I don't feel you even see women as actual human
           | beings, damn.
        
             | bradlys wrote:
             | Is it sexism to acknowledge that we have 80%+ men in tech?
             | Is it sexism to acknowledge fields like nursing and
             | elementary teaching have 80%+ women?
             | 
             | You're free to exist in the real world rather than some
             | third wave feminism utopia.
        
           | htrp wrote:
           | I mean you're not unemployed, you're retired.
        
         | blamazon wrote:
         | I didn't notice a difference personally during a long
         | unemployment stint. Not being employed lends a lot of free time
         | to focus on self development and to be an interesting person
         | which is beneficial to dating. Also, an unemployed partner can
         | do a lot of cooking and cleaning. I used large chunks of my
         | time to plan and create elaborate meals for working partners
         | and keep co-living spaces spotless and organized. This is
         | substantially more challenging for me personally to do with
         | full time employment.
        
         | consf wrote:
         | If he can convey his journey in a way that highlights his
         | resilience, self-awareness, and ambition (even if his goals are
         | still taking shape), it might resonate with the right person
        
       | cynicalpeace wrote:
       | Don't quit your job to start something. Start something on the
       | side. Spending down $80,000 in savings is a massive L.
        
         | Alifatisk wrote:
         | Yeah, I don't get why people are praising this idea, it's a
         | huge risk to take. If you don't have a safety net to catch
         | yourself, don't do this!
        
           | kbr- wrote:
           | What if your job sucks so much energy out of you, it's even
           | hard to imagine to do something on the side?
        
             | em-bee wrote:
             | job, family and more. i hire a helper for the housework so
             | that i can get more time for myself. but i live in a
             | country where such helpers are cheap. couldn't do that in
             | europe.
        
       | gorfian_robot wrote:
       | Eric Bachman, this is your mom, and you, you are not my baby.
        
       | nell wrote:
       | Did he try to get a job at all? Being from Canada and technical,
       | I will say OP isn't trying enough.
       | 
       | https://digitalcareers.infosys.com/infosys/global-careers?lo...
       | 
       | https://ibegin.tcs.com/iBegin/jobs/search
       | 
       | https://www.epam.com/careers/job-listings?recruitingUrl=%2Fc...
        
       | mekoka wrote:
       | I've been there. Some advice.
       | 
       | So you found yourself with some safety net and are contemplating
       | reinventing yourself in some way. Maybe working on a side
       | project, or supplementing your skillset by learning something
       | new.
       | 
       | My first and top advice is to move to a place where just
       | breathing and thinking is cheap. Travel if you can (i.e. you're
       | young, have no kids, no relationships, no obligations). The slow
       | burn will alleviate the stress and the need to precipitate a
       | decision. Nomadlist, Numbeo, and the numerous nomad blogs are
       | your friends. Start working on your projects from there. Come
       | back home when you have some feelers moving.
       | 
       | Second. If your runway is only a year or two, prioritize
       | acquiring a skill that'll make it easy to find work by the end of
       | the run. Take a course on something trendy or valuable. If you
       | choose to work on a project, also consider it the demo you'll
       | eventually present to companies you'll interview at if things
       | don't pan out. If you have 3 or 4 years, consider that you
       | actually only have 1 to get something up and running.
       | 
       | Third. Don't be too ambitious with your first project. Aim to
       | build something that can sustain living in a place where it's
       | cheap to just breathe and think.
       | 
       | Good luck.
        
         | cwalv wrote:
         | Also, carefully consider the costs. It's usually pretty hard to
         | get the first 80-100k; burning your principal to 0 probably
         | doesn't make sense. If it wasn't hard for you, that income
         | stream is worth a lot, so you should carefully consider whether
         | you're burning any bridges. If you're not burning bridges or
         | burning principal to 0, that's a complete reframing of the
         | situation.
        
       | ezekiel68 wrote:
       | Other considerations aside -- Given the difficulties in the tech
       | job market over the past couple of years, I highly doubt most
       | people who click through this headline will relate to the story
       | of a guy who _decided_ to quit with 2+ years of living expenses
       | saved up.
        
       | d_burfoot wrote:
       | The problem with the "try a lot of projects, see what works" is
       | that you lose out on exponential growth every time a project
       | fails.
       | 
       | A lot of people would be better off doing "intra-preneurship",
       | meaning trying to innovate and strategize within their current
       | company to make the job more fun, gain more autonomy, and advance
       | their career prospects.
        
         | ghaff wrote:
         | At the end of the day, it's a bet. You'll probably make zero
         | (or negative after expenses). You may make some passable
         | income. You _might_ make a lot.
         | 
         | Whereas working for a big company, you have a fairly reliable
         | shot at bringing in a decent income with some stability.
         | 
         | Nothing is guaranteed of course.
        
         | fellowmartian wrote:
         | I'm sorry, but what exponential growth are you talking about?
         | No company will ever pay you that much as a regular salaried
         | employee.
        
           | itake wrote:
           | Career growth. This includes job title, responsibilities, and
           | compensation.
           | 
           | Companies can promote you every 1-2 years, but you need to
           | start that clock.
        
             | fellowmartian wrote:
             | It's not exponential though, at most you're looking at 2-3
             | orders of magnitude growth unless you're a founder.
        
               | mattmanser wrote:
               | Not sure you understand what orders of magnitude means.
               | 
               | 3 orders of magnitude is 1,000 times larger, so $100,000
               | salary would become $100,000,000.
               | 
               | Never going to happen.
        
               | fellowmartian wrote:
               | I perfectly understand what orders of magnitude means.
               | The growth you've described does happen, eg if you start
               | at $65000 as junior eng and end up in dozens of millions
               | a year as a SVP or CTO at FAANG-level company. My point
               | is that even that is not exponential yearly, unless you
               | mean "exponential" in the narrow sense of "compound
               | returns", by that is available to everyone with a
               | brokerage account.
        
               | itake wrote:
               | "Compound returns" are exponential returns. Is there
               | another definition of exponential that im not away of?
        
               | itake wrote:
               | My RSUs and total compensation has grown by 20-30% the
               | last 3 years, despite my base salary only increasing
               | 1-2%.
               | 
               | If that isn't exponential growth, idk what is.
               | 
               | RSU values compound.
        
               | fellowmartian wrote:
               | Refreshers aren't priced at the price of the date of
               | hire, that would be crazy. It's not more exponential than
               | holding S&P 500.
        
               | itake wrote:
               | Refreshers are priced at when they were granted and
               | compound 4 years. So you have 4 years of compounding
               | growth. Refreshers also stack, creating more compounding.
               | 
               | Once they vest, you can sell them to match snp500 past
               | the 4 years.
        
             | coldtea wrote:
             | That's not exponential growth. It's not even linear-with-
             | good-slope.
             | 
             | And it's not even "give 1x work -same as before- and take
             | x1.5 money" but more like "give 1.5x work and take x1.5
             | money" at best (and usually less): more responsibilities,
             | more stress, and more work time.
        
               | itake wrote:
               | > "give 1x work -same as before- and take x1.5 money"
               | 
               | This is exactly my case.
               | 
               | Here are my w2 compensation (salary+bonus+rsu) changes
               | YoY working at $Yelp and $Grab:
               | 
               | 2025 35.96% (projected)
               | 
               | 2024 20.77% (projected)
               | 
               | 2023 30.39%
               | 
               | 2022 -0.65% <- promotion
               | 
               | 2021 34.25%
               | 
               | 2020 65.06% <- job change (December 2020; 2020 had a big
               | jump due to unemployment in 2019)
               | 
               | I don't think my work hours, responsibilities, or work
               | stress has any connection to my compensation or career
               | growth, primarily due to the "work smart, not hard"
               | thinking.
               | 
               | Even if you have zero promotions or changes in
               | responsibility, RSU grants compound, even if your salary
               | increase by only 1-6% (like mine did)
        
               | oblio wrote:
               | I don't know how old you are but you are likely to hit a
               | compensation ceiling as an individual contributor at some
               | point.
               | 
               | Or you manage to move into those staff/post-staff
               | positions but those are very few, hyper competitive and
               | during rounds a layoffs you have a huge target on your
               | back.
        
               | nickjj wrote:
               | > I don't know how old you are but you are likely to hit
               | a compensation ceiling as an individual contributor at
               | some point.
               | 
               | Realistically it's not a bad problem to have.
               | 
               | I'm no where near making a capped IC amount but if
               | someone were in this position you really only need ~5-8
               | years of working to pretty much set yourself up for life
               | financially if you keep your living expenses reasonable.
        
               | itake wrote:
               | I'm 35. I survived 80% layoffs because I'm one of the
               | lowest paid people in my grade and office.
               | 
               | Im still earning way less than what I see reported on
               | Blind and what my coworkers make.
        
         | itake wrote:
         | Fair, but the exponential growth function can be much more
         | aggressive for a side project than your career. In a career,
         | you max raises at 20% per year over a 5 year period? But side
         | projects can have revenue increase 20% MRR.
         | 
         | Also, within companies, you need everyone's unanimous
         | permission to do anything.. if a problem is big enough, the
         | team would do it themselves. If the problem is too small, the
         | team won't integrate.
        
           | moooo99 wrote:
           | > But side projects can have revenue increase 20% MRR. Also,
           | within companies, you
           | 
           | Or, more likely, 0%
        
             | itake wrote:
             | Not really? You can mitigate this risk by purchasing an
             | existing company with revenue.
        
         | coldtea wrote:
         | > _meaning trying to innovate and strategize within their
         | current company to make the job more fun, gain more autonomy,
         | and advance their career prospects_
         | 
         | Assuming that's in an environment where it's possible (no
         | shitty office politics, etc), the monetary returns from that
         | ain't gonna be competing to a succesful project. Nor is the
         | freedom and satisfaction ever going to be the same. And of
         | course all progress in that front, is a round of layoffs or a
         | change in management away from being nulled.
         | 
         | So, it's a safer path (as much as being an employee is safe
         | these days), but not achieving the same thing.
        
         | asdev wrote:
         | this is literally impossible at most companies due to politics,
         | incentive alignments, OKRs etc
        
           | EasyMark wrote:
           | Right, most companies just want you cranking out the code
           | their marketing department has determined as necessary, they
           | don't care if you grow, prosper, are happy, or any of those
           | things.
        
             | theflyinghorse wrote:
             | Im not sure why there is even a single downvote, the
             | comment is absolutely right on the money.
        
             | zeroCalories wrote:
             | Innovating is all of those, and many managers will be open
             | to cool new ideas and let you try stuff out if there's real
             | promise. You might need to only spend a fraction of your
             | time on it, or do it after hours. The problem is that many
             | developers have bad ideas, or they can't market those ideas
             | effectively. Remember that they will be able to claim a
             | part of any success you find.
        
           | vineyardmike wrote:
           | You probably won't launch an entire product line out of your
           | own sheer will, but you can totally push for smaller scale
           | work. Push for creating a tool to improve your team's
           | processes, or push for a few feature within an existing
           | product. Focus less on the "entrepreneur" aspect and more on
           | the "build fun and autonomy into your work" aspect. If you're
           | trusted and respected within your organization, you'll
           | probably be able to push through ever-larger projects
           | (assuming they're not net-negative). This probably isn't a
           | working strategy if you're within your first year, but if
           | you're a respected senior engineer who wants to scratch an
           | itch, you'll probably have much more success.
           | 
           | Or, if you work at Google, push for a new chat app. It'll
           | probably be approved.
        
             | htrp wrote:
             | >push for a new AI chat app
             | 
             | ftfy
        
             | david-gpu wrote:
             | I once heard a conversation between an engineering manager
             | and a _very_ senior leader at NVidia.
             | 
             | The manager was sharing how challenging it was for his team
             | to debug a certain type of code that they were responsible
             | for. Without missing a beat, this _very_ senior leader
             | replied: _" What do we need in order to make it fun? What
             | kind of tooling or other improvements would make it
             | enjoyable and easy?"_.
             | 
             | I'm paraphrasing because I can't recall the exact words,
             | but I was flabbergasted to hear how he framed the problem
             | as a lack of "fun".
             | 
             | Interactions like that are why I left NVidia with enormous
             | respect for their managers and not just the very bright
             | individual contributors I had the privilege to meet.
             | 
             | I bet people who have been on the inside can guess who the
             | very senior guy was. Absolute legend.
        
               | justinclift wrote:
               | > Interactions like that are why I left NVidia with
               | enormous respect for their managers ...
               | 
               | Um, you're being sarcastic yeah? (just checking) ;)
        
               | david-gpu wrote:
               | I left NVidia because I retired, not because I was
               | unhappy with the managers or my coworkers. They were
               | exceptionally good.
               | 
               | You do realize there are all sorts of reasons why people
               | leave a job, right? I left Qualcomm perfectly satisfied
               | with my managers and coworkers, too.
        
               | suzzer99 wrote:
               | Most projects are fun when they're a greenfield and then
               | become a slog by the end when they're in maintenance mode
               | with layers of cruft. My goal on any new project is to
               | keep the "fun" going for as long as possible.
        
               | generic92034 wrote:
               | After a decade or two of maintaining a complex, "grown"
               | application it might be become fun again. You really know
               | all the quirks, all important patterns and call chains.
               | You know the pains of the customers/users and, if you
               | have the time, might be able to do something about it.
               | 
               | Frankly, starting every other year on a completely new
               | application/system does not sound so much fun to me, now
               | that I am programming for more than four decades.
        
             | zelphirkalt wrote:
             | You could copy the GP post and paste it under this comment
             | again. Let me explain: You don't get any time to work on
             | things besides what is in the sprint. Period. Is it
             | dystopian? Yes. Is it the way many shitty companies work?
             | Absolutely. Be happy, if you are not in such a place.
        
             | jjmarr wrote:
             | Threadripper was an entire product line launched from below
             | at AMD, famously.
             | 
             | https://www.forbes.com/sites/antonyleather/2017/09/05/amd-
             | ry...
        
           | jnwatson wrote:
           | I've started something new at every company I've worked for,
           | except the startup, which was already a new thing.
           | 
           | My current employer, Google, seems particularly amenable to
           | internal entrepreneurship. After all, they're essentially
           | paying you not to create new external businesses.
        
           | agumonkey wrote:
           | That's how it goes at mine. I regularly whine about the
           | amount of waste in there.. insane. I was more productive,
           | creative and happier when jobless. In group you have to
           | navigate all the hurdles, egos, fears around .. Makes me
           | wonder how Xerox PARC managed to exist all (beyond the fact
           | that they had a lot of money of course)
        
         | SkyPuncher wrote:
         | I've had extreme control over my role over the past decade
         | (leadership in startups) and I couldn't even do what you
         | suggest. I'm not sure how you think the average person could
        
         | consf wrote:
         | I think the key is self-awareness. Some thrive on the freedom
         | and risk of entrepreneurship, while others are better suited to
         | optimizing and innovating within existing systems
        
         | FredPret wrote:
         | You only need exponential growth to work once
        
           | aorloff wrote:
           | But you have to be able to execute when it arrives
        
         | j45 wrote:
         | Exponential growth means getting the timing, positioning and
         | right amount of execution just right.
         | 
         | Also feels like chasing a lottery win. Some folks might be
         | chasing a financial safety net first that is smaller, because
         | the variables and formula of everyone's life in what they have
         | to take care of is valid.
         | 
         | I'm very happy for people who are able to swing for the fences,
         | and also happy for the people working on getting more hits to
         | bigger hits to swing for the fench. I know the latter is a much
         | more sure way to get an outcome to have time freedom to really
         | swing fences.
         | 
         | Everyone does what they best can do, if there's not an option
         | in front of them at work, some people have to try to create the
         | option themselves if it's not geographically accessible.
        
       | boiler_up800 wrote:
       | This is the tech equivalent of 'my year of rest and relaxation',
       | enjoyable to read with talk of sports and projects. I think I
       | will try this after my current job runs its course.
        
       | jumparoundwords wrote:
       | Crazy to me that some people in the comments believe that 80k$
       | dollar is peanuts. Even in Germany I could easily live with that
       | for more than 5 years.
       | 
       | If I had that kind of money lying around I would move to another
       | country, pay for my whole education, learn a new language and
       | still have enough money for multiple full-time start-up attempts.
        
         | bradlys wrote:
         | Cost of living in the US is very high. HN skews towards the SV
         | crowd. $80k isn't even a year of rent for many here. If you
         | instead bought a home recently in SV, $80k wouldn't even get
         | you halfway through the year.
         | 
         | There's a reason people get paid $400k+/yr in SV. The place is
         | expensive and you need to keep people there somehow.
        
           | dragonwriter wrote:
           | > $80k isn't even a year of rent for many here.
           | 
           | $80k is more than the median annual rent on a three-bedroom
           | house in San Francisco; if its "not even a year of rent",
           | _even in the "SV crowd"_, that's because of lavish personal
           | choices, not location-based necessity.
           | 
           | > There's a reason people get paid $400k+/yr in SV.
           | 
           | Yes, because the jobs paying that are highly selective and
           | there is lots of competition for talent. The cost of living
           | in SV is a consequence of the concentration of high-paying
           | jobs, not its cause.
        
           | jumparoundwords wrote:
           | I do wonder what's keeping people there long term.
           | 
           | With that amount of money you can have an amazing life in so
           | many places on this earth, and these people definitely have
           | the resources to do that. Have these people never experienced
           | life abroad? Quality of life is much higher elsewhere.
        
       | khushy wrote:
       | How about that guy who wrote graphing calculator? Or the guy who
       | put zip in windows explorer?
        
       | consf wrote:
       | It's a refreshingly honest and well-rounded reflection. Your
       | growth in music and sports highlights how fulfillment can come
       | from unexpected places... Wishing you luck for 2025!
        
       | zynlo wrote:
       | To the author: Thank you for this blogpost. I'm in a difficult
       | situation myself and your writeup helped me reflect. I wish you
       | all the best.
        
       | hoherd wrote:
       | Shout out to the low-FODMAP diet. I did that last year after
       | having several months of abdominal pain and discomfort, and was
       | stunned at how quickly a change in diet could solve these
       | seemingly chronic symptoms. At the end of the second day I told
       | my wife I couldn't remember the last time I felt so good. I'd
       | recommend trying it for a few days to pretty much anybody,
       | because doing it can't hurt, and who knows? It might make you
       | feel better. It's not intended to be a long-term thing anyway,
       | more of a diagnostic tool to help you learn about your body.
        
         | aaronblohowiak wrote:
         | I was low-fodmap for YEARS (a little onion on something would
         | trigger an emergency bathroom situation for me...) . but now
         | FODZYME means I even make onion jelly for my burgers with zero
         | discomfort. it costs about a dollar per serving and you have to
         | put it on after cooking (heat denatures it or something) but it
         | is truly a game-changer. im not affiliated in any way except I
         | just ordered another bottle.
        
       | Nimishg14 wrote:
       | Thanks for the honesty dude. I got fired earlier this year.
       | 
       | I have been working on personal projects since.
       | 
       | I have personal savings to last for around 3-4 years.
       | 
       | Lately I have been stressing a lot, thinking about what would
       | happen if I fail to make a single penny in upcoming years.
       | 
       | Reading your post was a breath of fresh air.
        
         | purplethinking wrote:
         | I took over a year off working on a project before I joined
         | another company. Never made any money, but in retrospect I see
         | that I could have made it work in 2-3 years, but the stress
         | would have interfered. Wish I could be more chill, but money
         | stresses me out. Getting close to do it again, but this time
         | I'm fairly close to being financially independent at a
         | barebones lifestyle. I mean, with 22 years of living expenses
         | saved I should be fine right? Right? I should be able to make
         | some money at SOME point. But the reason I have 22 years of
         | expenses is because I'm neurotic about money...
        
         | crtified wrote:
         | (I'll nest my thought here, as there's some relevance to your
         | position)
         | 
         | I'm looking a long way back to when I was in your position : I
         | got fired about 10 years ago, after unrealistic expectations
         | and mental health burnout led to me making regrettable
         | statements to executives.
         | 
         | The entire experience and time since is far too large to
         | encompass in a post. But perhaps my biggest takeaway after all
         | this time is that most people waste a great, great deal of
         | money frivolously. Having even an average income, more often
         | than not, leads to a lifestyle where it's standard to buy a $50
         | version of an everyday item because it has a certain stamp and
         | shiny packaging, instead of the $10 one that frugal people use.
         | Going to the food markets with a comfortable income is a
         | thoughtless experience of filling bags with items you like the
         | look of, regardless of price or purpose. Tens of thousands are
         | dropped on a whim for a change of travel-box (car). An
         | executive spends more on daily coffee than I do on my total
         | coffee+breakfast+lunch. The income finds a way to be spent, but
         | the experience isn't necessarily that different.
         | 
         | I'll indulge in another edit-in point. Home economics. It used
         | to be a school subject. People thought it was about cooking,
         | and sewing. Millions of mothers and grandmothers from past
         | generations know that basic cooking skills actually = a lot of
         | money in the bank. The best food you ever ate, at half the
         | cost, in perpetuity. Concepts like these, where you trade a %
         | of your time for directly applicable, $-winning skills (as
         | opposed to using salary to pay others) is a key necessity of
         | living sustainably outside the traditional 40-hour-week
         | employment system.
         | 
         | The best part is when you realise it's all the same. You'll job
         | Here, or you'll job There. Everybody does 24hrs of _something_
         | per day, and if you 're smart, you WILL find your way to
         | comfort. Perhaps on surprisingly less money than you thought.
         | It will just take time and persistence.
         | 
         | And if not, well, the traditional job market always wants smart
         | people too, sooner or later.
        
       | mlboss wrote:
       | Everybody's life is different but if I have to do something
       | similar this will be my strategy:
       | 
       | - Move to a low cost place where other indiehackers go: thailand,
       | bali. - Start living in a cheap hostel with other indiehackers -
       | Copy an existing app with lot of users and something that
       | interest me - Start with the lowest price possible. Keep on
       | adding features and introducing expensive plans - Non stop
       | marketing on X, FB, Insta, reddit etc
       | 
       | As soon as you leave your job it is a ticking clock. Every minute
       | is important. I know mental sanity is important but life of
       | entrepreneur is not best one if you want one. It is risky. It is
       | a grind.
        
         | theteapot wrote:
         | Is Bali still cheap? I heard is was a mess now.
        
       | kachurovskiy wrote:
       | I wonder if a part-time remote job coupled with full time
       | traveling on a budget would have been a more sustainable,
       | enjoyable and productive approach. Hanging with pals in Montreal
       | is cool but it's expensive and not very productive.
        
         | em-bee wrote:
         | the challenge is finding such a job.
        
         | senko wrote:
         | > a part-time remote job coupled with full time traveling on a
         | budget
         | 
         | a.k.a. Digital Nomad
        
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