[HN Gopher] The rectangular cows of Art UK (2018)
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The rectangular cows of Art UK (2018)
Author : onychomys
Score : 134 points
Date : 2024-11-21 13:12 UTC (9 hours ago)
(HTM) web link (artuk.org)
(TXT) w3m dump (artuk.org)
| shaftoe444 wrote:
| Top kine.
| actionfromafar wrote:
| Also rectangular pigs.
| InDubioProRubio wrote:
| Reference? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bSD6WhIAF8Y
| gilleain wrote:
| Brother, may I have some oats!
|
| edit : Ah, in fact that painting is in the article at the very
| end : "A Pair of Pigs Image credit: Compton Verney"
| Aardwolf wrote:
| While I don't know what these oats are a reference to, I
| can't help but think of the absolute classic Fresh Oats from
| this LGR video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xSxaUHT3yoI
|
| From back when LGR was still reviewing silly games and
| edutainment games
| gilleain wrote:
| It's from https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/brother-may-i-
| have-some-oats (I only learned of the meme recently, not
| from the original)
| Oarch wrote:
| Outrageous lack of rectangular chickens.
| gwbas1c wrote:
| TLDR:
|
| > The answer, as best I can find it, seems to be related to the
| points about status.
|
| > The second is the overly bulgy bit in front of their front
| legs, the brisket. And, also according to my research, when
| cattle are judged for competitions or prizes, the brisket is
| taken into consideration.
| dTal wrote:
| As with a magic trick, the delight resides more in the mystery
| than the solution, and this article spends its time
| appropriately. Were the answer given too quickly - were the
| reader not given the opportunity to marinate for a time in the
| oddness of the phenomenon, while being drip-fed increasingly
| outlandish examples - the impact of the reveal at the end would
| be lost. The punchline is the recontextualization of what we
| think of as "art" as functional objects, and it is only through
| being invited to ponder for ourselves for a time that we are
| prevented from pretending that we understood this all along.
| jdietrich wrote:
| The shape of the cows is exaggerated, but not by much - many
| breeds of cow are just incredibly rectangular in profile.
|
| https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5475e650e4b0df...
| onychomys wrote:
| Honestly, I knew I had to submit it when I got to the sheep.
| The cows aren't far off, but that sheep!
| jihadjihad wrote:
| Haha yeah that sheep is pretty wack.
| Cumpiler69 wrote:
| Brits had Minecraft sheep before Minecraft
| hinkley wrote:
| Those beluga whale pigs I've seen somewhere before and they
| haunt my dreams.
| Mistletoe wrote:
| And the beef cattle industry ideal shape has evolved over time
| as well. In the past that rectangle with short stubby legs was
| what they wanted.
|
| https://onpasture.com/2016/07/04/from-big-to-small-to-big-to...
|
| All 3 parts of this are fascinating.
| walrus01 wrote:
| Now in certain regions cattle are bred for being hardy and
| general overall health in extreme climates, quantity of beef
| production vs resources that are put into a herd
| financially... Such as:
|
| https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Droughtmaster
|
| There is also the aptly named SQUARE MEATER which maintains
| the rectangular cow aesthetic
|
| https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Square_Meater
| shermantanktop wrote:
| "Ideal" is a nice word for arbitrary fashion, literally a
| herd mentality.
|
| This mirrors what happens with muscle cars, women's handbags,
| JavaScript frameworks, and so many other things. The purpose
| remains ostensibly functional but the real driver is peer
| group status, to the point that function is totally
| compromised but the peer group loves it.
| hinkley wrote:
| Isn't any philosophy about cows a herd mentality?
| gilleain wrote:
| So an arbitrary ideal, then? As in, not conforming to 'the'
| ideal in the sense of some platonic, eternal idea of a cow,
| but some ideal in the mind of farmers of what they would
| prefer cows to be.
| masto wrote:
| The first thing I did was take 5 seconds for an image search to
| confirm that the cows in the paintings look like.. actual cows.
| Then I read the article, and remain perplexed about art and
| those who write about art.
| the__alchemist wrote:
| I had the same reaction; this was a glaring omission; photos
| of cows should have been at the top of the article as a
| reference. The article's main (but unstated) point isn't
| _cows in these paintings are rectangular_ , but _cows in
| these paintings are unrealistic in the same way_. To prove
| this point, he used many of these paintings, but no pictures
| of actual cows, which would have proven his or her point.
|
| Doing the work myself, as you have, I find that many cows
| _are_ rectangular. The author is unequipped to dispel me of
| this notion, if it 's incorrect, but could have easily if he
| had addressed it preemptively by clearly stating his actual
| thesis. (Unrealism, not rectangleness). (And if he is
| correct)
| DiscourseFan wrote:
| You've missed the point. It's not that cows are
| unrealistically sqaure, it is that its strange how many
| paintings of rectangular cows there are, and the author
| guesses its because _they're all displaying the profile_.
| Why is this perspective so dominant in the 19th century,
| and what does it mean for the formal considerations of the
| artwork? These are the questions that are important, not
| whether or not cows are _actually_ sqaure.
| the__alchemist wrote:
| I concur that what you describe is a central theme. I
| also think that a lack of addressing the question (with
| pictures or words) of realism leaves it open for readers
| to take away themes other than the one you highlight.
| DiscourseFan wrote:
| There is no "realism," photography is its own form of
| art. What's remarkable is how common this perspective is
| even today, such that it has been produced as "realistic"
| for you and how you see the world.
| gilleain wrote:
| I agree, however there is something to be said for the
| distance between the subject and the representation. If
| the 'underlying cow' is already somewhat square, then the
| representation in painting or photo is going to be close
| to that nebulous reality.
|
| While it might be possible to take a photo of a cow that
| turns out looking spherical (due to the lighting or
| angle), it is surely going to be harder?
| DiscourseFan wrote:
| I guess there's the platonist/pythagorean angle that
| circle, sqaure, and triangle are fundemental forms of
| seeing and artworks can only approximate them. But even
| then that is only for the forms of our perception and is
| _not_ fundemental to the thing in itself, which has
| neither a name nor a definite shape, but is also in some
| sense shaped by forces of perception (in a material
| sense). But then I would argue that technology itself
| opens up not only new ways of seeing but also new formal
| possibilities and claiming that there is something
| fundemental to the forms of seeing to form _in general_
| limits those possibilities.
| fracus wrote:
| I spent my time trying to figure out what artuk was.
| walrus01 wrote:
| I should note that this image of a rectangular cow is hosted on
| _SQUARE_ space.
| isoprophlex wrote:
| Gorgeous brisket!
| torlok wrote:
| One of the first things you learn about farming cows is that
| meat cows are rectangular, and dairy cows are triangular.
|
| Some of the paintings are quite exaggerated though, probably
| for the purpose of bragging rights by the patron.
| hinkley wrote:
| Particularly in the haunches.
|
| https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shorthorn
|
| One of the cows pictured.
| Nursie wrote:
| I haven't yet read the whole article, but I immediately find it
| fascinating - I grew up in the UK and these images are familiar,
| they were in country pubs and occasionally people's houses.
|
| It never occurred to me to ask why!
|
| I guess I assumed the images were old, and someone wanted to show
| off that they had a particularly spectacular cow. And the author
| is right, so many of them are side on and rectangular.
|
| I wonder how many other things in the world that I've ignored as
| basically wallpaper actually have a backstory...
| TheJoeMan wrote:
| Recurring xmas gift for my mother for decades:
| https://www.calendars.com/shop/cows-cows-cows-2025-wall-cale...
| pvg wrote:
| Something to recite while giving it
| https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leisure_(poem)
| bitwize wrote:
| Well, I suppose rectangular cows would make the math even
| simpler, as you wouldn't have to use polar coordinates or have p
| as a factor in your calculations.
| plank wrote:
| Only explanation: No physicists were involved in painting these
| cows. (Everybody knows that physicists only know spherical cows)
| Kind regards, Roel (yes, physicist by origin)
| zehaeva wrote:
| I came here to make this same joke good sir! You beat me to it!
| hehehheh wrote:
| Can you make a square cow from a spherical cow using only
| compass and straight edge?
| UniverseHacker wrote:
| Physicists switch between square, spherical, and cylindrical
| cows depending on the coordinate system they are working in.
| However they would be squares with a unitless volume and length
| of 1. There is no need for rectangular cows, because you can
| just redefine the basis vectors to make it square.
| kjhughes wrote:
| American art by the late 20th century depicted cows more
| realistically: https://shorturl.at/aqvDa
| webwielder2 wrote:
| People think that art from the past must have all been done by
| masters, but just as with any pursuit at any time, most
| practitioners are mediocre to bad.
| hermitcrab wrote:
| I love the weird stuff HN throws up.
| hermitcrab wrote:
| At least these artists had actually seen a cow. There are some
| hilarious medieval artworks of lions where the artist had clearly
| never seen a lion. https://www.sadanduseless.com/medieval-lion-
| art/
| defanor wrote:
| Sounds like a fun fact, but were those drawn by people who can
| draw cows and humans, and aim to draw realistically? Middle
| Ages were quite a dip in art generally, AFAICT, with humans
| often not looking realistic, either.
| hermitcrab wrote:
| I guess it possible that these were just terrible artists,
| But it seems more likely that they just didn't know what a
| lion actually looked like. Afterall, if you were an English
| medieval monk, how likely were you to see an actual lion?
| They were no photos to go off.
|
| Check out this Cambodian lion:
| https://artuk.org/discover/artworks/a-guardian-lion-281362
| The craftsmanship is quite impressive. But it doesn't look
| anything much like a lion IMHO.
| defanor wrote:
| I guess that Cambodian lion is rather like the Chinese
| lions, which "are intended to reflect the emotion of the
| animal as opposed to the reality of the lion" [1], falling
| into the bucket with intentionally unrealistic (non-
| lifelike) art.
|
| [1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chinese_guardian_lions#Ap
| peara...
| gilleain wrote:
| There were a few English artists who might have had the
| opportunity of knowing what they looked like, given there
| were lions at the Tower of London:
|
| https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tower_of_London
|
| "Records of 1210-1212 show payments to lion keepers" -
| although who was allowed to visit the lions is a different
| question ...
| throwup238 wrote:
| Someone made a timeline of European drawings of elephants after
| they disappeared from Europe:
| https://www.uliwestphal.de/elephas-anthropogenus/index.html
| hermitcrab wrote:
| That's amazing. Thanks.
| JoeAltmaier wrote:
| Not quite on point: the reason there are so many pictures of cows
| is not 'ubiquity'. There are many phone boxes in Britain, not so
| many paintings of them.
|
| The question is really, why are cows so relevant to paint? The
| answer is, the people who could afford to pay a painter were
| wealthy landowners, and their pride and joy was often purebred
| cattle. Each picture is some valuable animal, an advertisement if
| you will.
| DonHopkins wrote:
| I'm taking a short break from grinding Factorio: Space Age, to
| mention that the timeless cult classic masterpiece Wagnerian
| Blade Runner of cargo hauling space operas "Space Truckers"
| (1996, Dennis Hopper), featured prescient square pigs, which
| packed tightly and efficiently into space trucks.
|
| Space Truckers - Title Scene (Square Pigs):
|
| https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gJtHMe3MltU
|
| "Square pig" prop from Space Truckers:
|
| https://entertainment.ha.com/itm/movie-tv-memorabilia/-squar...
|
| Square Hogs are pigs bred and farmed on Mars:
|
| https://aliens.fandom.com/wiki/Square_Hog
|
| >Square Hogs are merely pigs that have been genetically jacked up
| and overfed, confined in square cages making them extremely obese
| and fat.
|
| >The Earth company Inter Pork ship these animals across human
| space.
| BlandDuck wrote:
| How does this posting coincide with the posting of this YouTube
| video. Coincidence? I think not!
|
| https://m.youtube.com/shorts/8s2_wjUTT-M
| onychomys wrote:
| Alasdair posted this clip on bluesky, where I saw it. In the
| comments, Art UK had posted this article as a reply. Once I
| clicked through, I knew it would be exactly what HN would
| appreciate, and here we are.
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