[HN Gopher] The Rise of Malort, an Unexpected Midwest princess
       ___________________________________________________________________
        
       The Rise of Malort, an Unexpected Midwest princess
        
       Author : mooreds
       Score  : 65 points
       Date   : 2024-11-20 14:48 UTC (8 hours ago)
        
 (HTM) web link (www.nytimes.com)
 (TXT) w3m dump (www.nytimes.com)
        
       | 01acheru wrote:
       | https://web.archive.org/web/20241115175926/https://www.nytim...
       | 
       | edit: IDK how ethically right it is (in my opinion it is) but
       | when posting paywalled content we should post the archive link
       | directly or at least as part of the submission
        
         | joombaga wrote:
         | The archive link is also paywalled.
        
           | 01acheru wrote:
           | That's good to know and terrible news. It looks like a
           | different paywall than the one I see going directly to the
           | NYT link, it let me view the article the first time and now
           | simply entered an unresolving state.
           | 
           | Anyway shame on you NYT, this is like boycotting the web
           | archive, ridiculous...
        
           | 0points wrote:
           | Actual full article: https://archive.is/d30Rz
        
       | pvg wrote:
       | The only thing I know about Malort is that tptacek enjoys
       | complaining about Malort, so I'm looking forward to learning even
       | more about that one thing.
        
         | JohnFen wrote:
         | I think that it's unpleasant, but found that its reputation is
         | greatly exaggerated. There are much worse liquors available if
         | that's your jam.
        
           | arethuza wrote:
           | By _far_ the worst tasting thing I 've had was Norwegian
           | moonshine.
        
         | tptacek wrote:
         | Don't drink Windex.
        
           | dugmartin wrote:
           | As a former Chicagoan I'd have to agree. I always thought
           | Malort was just a running gag to play on visitors.
        
             | Kon-Peki wrote:
             | Without the purchase-to-fulfill-a-gag market, it probably
             | would have shut down decades ago.
             | 
             | The new owners are a serious distillery, and doing the best
             | job possible with the recipe. This will lead to people
             | drinking it for reasons other than a gag, but will that
             | grow to be enough to leave the joke behind?
        
               | tptacek wrote:
               | It pisses me off, because there's no reason for it to
               | exist. There are good products with the same flavor
               | profile Malort attempts (and fails), but Malort swamps
               | them in the market. There's even non-Jeppson Malort now.
               | It's all a stunt.
        
         | mtremsal wrote:
         | My first thought exactly! I have never heard of Malort outside
         | of the cryptography/security industry, where offering it is
         | seemingly used as a hazing ritual.
        
         | evbogue wrote:
         | Just chase it with an Old Style or twelve and whatever Malort
         | tastes like to you will soon be only a nostalgic memory from
         | your one trip late at night to Logan.
        
       | jrochkind1 wrote:
       | I like it fine, it doesn't taste especially unusual among other
       | herbal bitter liquors, a category I like. It's not the best (or
       | as expensive as the best! they can get pricey), but it's not the
       | worst, it's a fine drink.
       | 
       | The NYT story above mostly stayed away from how it's become known
       | as like "the worst drink ever" or something, something you drink
       | as a kind of challenge rather than that it's enjoyable.
       | 
       | I've suspected that the manufacturer has been actually
       | _encouraging_ this story. In the age of  "challenges", a
       | narrative that this is an incredibly hard to drink thing that's a
       | challenge to drink is actually good marketting, that has been
       | part of it's successful national awareness?
       | 
       | It's not especially challenging, it's just an herbal bitter,
       | which is not for everyone, sure. But it's not gross, it's a fine
       | drink -- and ironically saying this, that it's not actually
       | exceptionally bad, hurts it's marketing! Better to be
       | exceptionally noteworthy bad than simply typical.
        
         | supplied_demand wrote:
         | ==I've suspected that the manufacturer has been actually
         | encouraging this story. ==
         | 
         | It is an explicit part of their marketing. This [0] excellent
         | advertisement in Chicago states:
         | 
         | "Do Not Enjoy. Responsibly."
         | 
         | [0]
         | https://www.reddit.com/r/chicago/comments/19dvd2j/brilliant_...
        
           | kreeben wrote:
           | In Sweden it goes
           | 
           | 1. eat rotten herring (which you'll not enjoy, because it's
           | rotten fish, yo)
           | 
           | 2. clean your palette with a disgusting shot of home made
           | malort spirits (or aquavit, equally disgusting)
           | 
           | 3. goto 1 until your drunk
           | 
           | 4. get laid
           | 
           | Very, very, very few people ever reaches step 4.
        
             | apelapan wrote:
             | Most commonly it is pickled herring. I don't think rotten
             | herring is a thing in any broader circles.
             | 
             | Homemade bask is usually much better than factory made
             | Baska Droppar, if you enjoy the taste of wormwood more than
             | just being slapped in the face with artificial bitterness
             | and sugar.
             | 
             | Of course, if you hate the taste of fish, pickled things
             | and spirits in general, you are unlikely to enjoy any of
             | it.
        
           | sli wrote:
           | The liquor store I go to here in Chicago has a small Malort
           | ad on a pole that says "These pants aren't going to shit
           | themselves."
        
         | calvinmorrison wrote:
         | If you like Fernet?
        
           | selectodude wrote:
           | Fernet is 100x better in every way.
        
             | MisterTea wrote:
             | That is not saying much coming from a guy who thinks Fernet
             | tastes the way a mens room smells on a hot day when
             | chilled.
        
               | selectodude wrote:
               | You can't be referring to me. I'll do shots of Fernet all
               | night long.
        
               | calvinmorrison wrote:
               | Fernet is delicious
        
               | astrange wrote:
               | Fernet tastes like mint toothpaste.
        
           | tptacek wrote:
           | Then you will be disappointed by Malort, which is one-
           | dimensionally vile and without any charm. The sad thing is
           | Chicago is a big amaro town; Malort is to a serious amaro
           | what a bottle of 70% isopropyl is to Glenrothes 18.
        
             | theadultnerd wrote:
             | I always describe Malort as "it's like Fernet made Fernet
             | in a shed"
        
         | giraffe_lady wrote:
         | What are some other liquors in its category? Because it's much
         | higher proof and lower sugar content than the bitter liquors
         | people drink more or less unmixed.
         | 
         | There are probably some similarly high proof amaros out there
         | but they're pretty rare even within that category and an
         | american would probably only encounter them mixed into a
         | cocktail if even then. Fernet branca sure but that's _much_
         | less bitter. Malort is actually very unusual compared to
         | campari, or suze or something along those lines. Much more
         | bitter, more alcoholic and less sweet than the norm for these
         | drinks.
        
           | yxhuvud wrote:
           | Have you tried Gammel Dansk?
        
             | giraffe_lady wrote:
             | I'm not sure. I was about to say yes but looking it up now
             | probably what I had was arnbitter. I quit drinking over a
             | decade ago too so I'm starting to get even more fuzzy on
             | what I have and haven't tried.
        
           | jrochkind1 wrote:
           | Yes, Americans don't historically usually drink amaros or
           | bitters. Amaros seem to be gaining in popularity though,
           | perhaps the malort resurgence is part of that trend.
           | 
           | Right, it's a herbal bitter, not citrus like campari. And not
           | an especially sweet one.
           | 
           | I am not good at remembering brand names there are so many.
           | One I enjoy that comes in tiny little bottles and does have a
           | bit of a foothold in the USA is the digestif Underberg.
           | 
           | Sure, that whole category will be seen by some Americans who
           | are not interested in bitter and digestifs as not
           | particularly palatable. But still nothing special about
           | Malort.
           | 
           | Wikipedia says "Malort is an American brand of bask liqueur,
           | ", with bask being a Swedish wormwood-based thing. Googling
           | for wormwood amaros finds a variety to try, if the wormwood
           | bitters is what you're looking for. The good ones will taste
           | a lot better (and be a lot more expensive) than Malort,
           | because, right, Malort isn't especially great, it's true.
           | 
           | i had Malort for the first time only a few years ago. I was
           | like, wait, this is it? OK, it's a not especially great
           | example of the category, it's kind of mediocre, but I've
           | drank plenty of the category and don't find it especially
           | hard to drink.
           | 
           | But "a mediocre bitter digestif" is obviously not as good
           | marketing as "the worst drink on the planet, drink it as a
           | challenge and impress your friends".
        
             | kasey_junk wrote:
             | I think Underberg is a good comp. The problem with Malort
             | is not that its bitter or the flavor profile of it, its the
             | _quality_ of the drink. Underberg is bitter but well made
             | and it tells dramatically when drinking them side by side.
             | 
             | Amaro's generally speaking are _very_ popular in Chicago.
             | When I first moved here and was more of an out at bars type
             | of person it was _extremely_ common to drink Amaro,
             | especially at the end of a work night. But you'd drink the
             | amaro's you'd expect (Fernet especially). No one would
             | choose Malort because it wasn't any cheaper than a good
             | amaro and was just worse.
             | 
             | The story of Malort is the story of good marketing and pre-
             | social media 'influencers' getting involved. The book
             | mentioned in the article also covers the quirky story of
             | the original Malort brand and its interesting if you like
             | that sort of thing. But as a drink its just uninteresting.
        
               | jrochkind1 wrote:
               | Oh yeah I'm not saying Malort is _good_. i find it
               | mediocre. I feel like I 've had worse (which I can't
               | remember the name of because why). I enjoy em enough that
               | if i was at a bar that only had Malort I'd drink it. (I
               | don't like the menthol in Fernet Branca, although many
               | do. Malort has no menthol flavor as I recall?)
               | 
               | But the marketing campaign, whether crowdsourced viral or
               | intended, is that it's like this uniquely horrible thing.
               | 
               | If anyone is familiar with the category and enjoys it
               | (certainly not everyone does), they won't find it
               | particularly hard to drink or unusual. They will find it
               | not very good, yes. Obviously that's not something you
               | want to market.
               | 
               | As you say, it's not interesting. But "the worst drink
               | you'll ever have" would of course be very interesting!
               | It's not that Malort is great, it's that in fact it's not
               | interesting at all, it's just a mediocre bitter digestif.
        
               | jrochkind1 wrote:
               | Unicum might be another good comparable, that's actually
               | good if you like that sort of thing?
               | 
               | You want something that I think really is so bad that I
               | have trouble imagining it's not just a novelty challenge
               | drink -- and yet I think it's not and some people really
               | do like it -- while even sticking to Nordic region (they
               | like some weird stuff)....
               | 
               | https://koskenkorva.com/en/koskenkorva-salmiakki
               | 
               | "Salty" licorice is a misnomer, there's nothing actually
               | salty about it, the "salt" is ammonium chloride. It's
               | vodka flavored with black licorice (I'm with you so far),
               | and the taste of ammonia.
        
           | reducesuffering wrote:
           | I think the Nordic countries' Aquavit is more like Malort
           | than the Italian Amaros are.
           | 
           | Fun fact: The Nordics are so cold, to age their Aquavit in
           | casks, some producers would load them up on ships and send
           | them to the equator and back. Linie Aquavit still does this
           | tradition.
           | 
           | Personally, Italian Amaros are much better than Aquavit or
           | Malort though. Forget Fernet when there's Averna.
        
             | anamexis wrote:
             | I don't think Aquavit is very similar to Malort at all.
             | They lack the bitterness and extreme astringency. Aquavit
             | is more like gin but with a different botanical lineup.
        
           | twic wrote:
           | I thought it was pretty similar to Suze in bitterness,
           | although I didn't try them side by side. It's about twice as
           | strong, though. And neither is sweet enough to save you!
        
         | spelunker wrote:
         | Their social media accounts at least absolutely lean into the
         | "worst drink ever" reputation.
        
         | _sys49152 wrote:
         | wish moxie brand sodas wouldve done a similar marketing
         | strategy to gain a better foothold in the northeast market.
         | they got bought out by coca cola and nerfed any bitterness to
         | have it resemble more like a flat root beer.
         | 
         | not everything in life needs to be sweet.
        
         | defen wrote:
         | Yeah, everyone knows that the real worst liquor ever is Ng Ka
         | Py. Either they made it differently back then or John Steinbeck
         | never actually drank it.
        
       | adolph wrote:
       | Ok, Malort is the name of an alcoholic beverage. It is unclear to
       | me why a liquid would be called a "princess" but maybe it
       | reflects the jargon of aficionados.
       | 
       |  _Malort was introduced in Chicago in the 1930s and was long
       | produced by the Carl Jeppson Company. In 2018, as its last
       | employee was retiring, the brand and company name were sold to CH
       | Distillery of Chicago 's Pilsen neighborhood. Jeppson's Malort is
       | named after Carl Jeppson, a Swedish immigrant who first distilled
       | and popularized the liquor in Chicago. Malort (literally moth
       | herb) is the Swedish word for wormwood, which is the key
       | ingredient in bask. Malort is extremely low in thujone, a
       | chemical once prevalent in absinthe and similar drinks._
       | 
       | https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jeppson's_Mal%C3%B6rt
        
         | bdndndndbve wrote:
         | It's a reference to the Chappell Roan album "The Rise and Fall
         | of a Midwest Princess" which has been a smash hit this summer.
        
           | adolph wrote:
           | Oh how fascinating. What is the connection between the
           | beverage and album? Or is it just a spurious reference by the
           | headline to drive engagement?
        
             | RandallBrown wrote:
             | > What is the connection between the beverage and album?
             | 
             | Malort is from Chicago, which is in the midwest, and it's
             | blown up in popularity lately. I don't think there's
             | anything else to it.
        
       | duped wrote:
       | > It is also, in five words, the unofficial liquor of Chicago
       | 
       | No, it's a meme that hipsters have somehow latched onto because
       | the Chicago aesthetic seems to be popular now.
       | 
       | If a native Chicagoan tells you that you have to have a shot of
       | Malort when you're at the bar because it's the "unofficial liquor
       | of Chicago" - they're pulling a prank. It's somehow lasted a
       | century as a prank you pull on your buddies who don't drink that
       | often.
        
         | sequoia wrote:
         | If it's lasted a century as a prank Chicagoans play on people,
         | it sounds like it is in fact a cultural touchstone.
        
         | samgranieri wrote:
         | I live in the Chicago suburbs now and used to live in Chicago.
         | Taking shots of Malort in bars is indeed a rite of passage for
         | tourists, but yeah, it's a foul-tasting shot.
         | 
         | Democratic Illinois Governor J.B. Pritzker was recorded sharing
         | shots of Malort with visiting politicians during the week of
         | the Democratic National Convention. I enjoyed looking at the
         | reaction of the visiting politicians after they drank it.
        
           | pessimizer wrote:
           | Pritzker is a rich guy who grew up in California and
           | Massachusetts, so in Chicago he's an absolutely typical
           | Malort drinker. It's become a big part of pretending to be
           | local.
        
         | supplied_demand wrote:
         | I've seen it used more often as an initiation if someone has
         | recently moved to Chicago. You welcome them to the city with a
         | "Chicago Handshake" which is Old Style beer and a shot of
         | Malort.
        
         | tptacek wrote:
         | Yes, this, exactly.
        
           | selectodude wrote:
           | The most annoying part of Malort discourse is that it's
           | changed since it was purchased by CH and isn't nearly as
           | strong.
        
             | tptacek wrote:
             | It was never a good product. It's a bad product that people
             | drink as a stunt or a prank.
        
               | selectodude wrote:
               | Agreed. It's just gross. However the part that gets me is
               | it's not even as gross as it used to be before it became
               | "cool".
        
         | jollyllama wrote:
         | First a hipster meme and then a forced meme by the makers to
         | capitalize on it.
        
       | 0points wrote:
       | Malort is the name of the herb wormwood in Swedish. The swedish
       | name means "clothing moth herb", and has been used to fight cloth
       | moths among other uses. Also especially popular spirit flavoring,
       | which it's latin name hints of.
       | 
       | Artemisia absinthium
        
         | tptacek wrote:
         | I'd imagine there's as much actual wormwood in Malort as there
         | is fruit in a Froot Loops.
        
           | dracyr wrote:
           | Not sure about the ones mentioned in the article, but for the
           | kind I'm used to (i.e Bask) in Sweden it's a given.
           | 
           | In our family it's generally been a tradition to go out in
           | the night of August 24th each year to pick some wormwood, and
           | then infuse some plain alcohol with it to have for the coming
           | months. We generally don't leave it in as long recipes call
           | for though, 24h instead of multiple days so the taste is a
           | bit milder.
        
             | strictnein wrote:
             | Anything special about August 24th that makes it the day to
             | do this?
        
               | dracyr wrote:
               | Its the day when all farmers should be done harvesting
               | and autumn officially begins according to
               | "Bondepraktikan" [1], which says to be done by St
               | Bartholomews day.
               | 
               | Like many old traditions the reasons have for many become
               | lost to time, and now it's an accepted fact that that's
               | the magical night to get some wormwood.
               | 
               | [1]
               | https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Old_Farmer%27s_Almanac
        
           | nate wrote:
           | Wait. Fruit loops are made of corn. Corn is a fruit! :)
        
             | nate wrote:
             | Jesus. I'm also today years old when I learned they're
             | spelled Froot loops, not Fruit loops.
        
               | jknoepfler wrote:
               | Yes, corn is a Froot, not a fruit. It's a common dietary
               | misconception.
        
               | twic wrote:
               | It's actually even worse - they're Froot Luips.
        
       | iwontberude wrote:
       | It's disgusting. It's liquid ear wax shared by people who like to
       | piss other people off. I say this as a person who typically
       | enjoys bitter.
        
         | arethuza wrote:
         | Google's AI says that it _" has a full-bodied flavor and tastes
         | like pencil shavings, old battery rust, citrus zest, and ear
         | wax"_.
        
           | csa wrote:
           | ..."and despair".
        
       | ur-whale wrote:
       | https://archive.is/d30Rz
        
       | mpalfrey wrote:
       | I went on a stag do (bachelor party for non-Brits) last year. The
       | groom had just returned from Chicago on a business trip the
       | morning we went away. He brought back a bottle of Malort.
       | 
       | I developed a taste for it that weekend - it's not that bad (I'd
       | take it over something like Becharovka). Annoyingly years ago
       | (2009ish) I spent a fair amount of time over in the Midwest with
       | work and never drank the stuff.
        
         | baggy_trough wrote:
         | Becherovka? I love that stuff. I'm afraid to try Malort though.
        
         | DrBazza wrote:
         | Must be a British thing as I'm the same. Been to Chicago a few
         | times and had a few shots of Malort and it's totally fine.
         | Maybe it's the coriander-tastes-like-soap thing for some
         | people.
        
       | PhasmaFelis wrote:
       | > _Mr. Wurth, who tended bar in Chicago for 10 years before
       | moving down South, takes Polaroids of Malort first-timers and
       | asks them to write descriptions of the drink on the border.
       | Hundreds of snapshots plaster the walls of the bar's two
       | bathrooms. A sampling of their tiny captions: "Swamp grass in
       | July," "Pain" and, Mr. Wurth's favorite, "The powder inside of a
       | balloon." Malort turns even the most prosaic into unexpected
       | poets._
       | 
       | I have not had Malort, but I have had absinthe, which I believe
       | is similar? And I'd like to contribute.
       | 
       | I wouldn't say it tastes bad. If you drank boiling bleach, you
       | wouldn't say it "tastes bad." That's not the right category of
       | word. It tastes like something that should never, ever go in your
       | mouth.
        
         | strictnein wrote:
         | Absinthe has redeeming qualities, even if you don't enjoy the
         | anise/black licorice flavor (which I do not). Malort does not.
         | It really is a different beast.
        
           | PhasmaFelis wrote:
           | That is impressive and terrifying.
        
       | whalesalad wrote:
       | We had a bottle or two in our FarmLogs (yc12) office. Would bring
       | it out once in a while to celebrate something, and would always
       | snag a noobie or intern to fall for the trap.
        
         | terminalbraid wrote:
         | Neat. What was the trap?
        
           | chasil wrote:
           | It tastes like roadkill soaked in turpentine.
        
             | tptacek wrote:
             | It's not just that it tastes bad. Elisir Novasalus tastes
             | bad. Lots of things taste bad. Malort tastes like something
             | you are not supposed to be drinking; like solvents, like
             | something leaking out of the engine of a car. Not in a good
             | way. It tastes like a _bad product_.
        
               | BobaFloutist wrote:
               | I mean if you're not a heavy drinker, most liquor tastes
               | like a solvent.
        
               | dh2022 wrote:
               | I am not a heavy drinker, and I absolutely enjoy all
               | sorts of liquors: cognacs, whiskeys, vodkas, gins, etc...
               | None of these taste like solvent.
        
           | IncreasePosts wrote:
           | It tastes awful
        
       | BurningFrog wrote:
       | I'm Swedish, and this tastes exactly as I remember the Swedish
       | "Baska Droppar" ("Bitter drops"). I haven't had the opportunity
       | to compare them side by side, and don't particularly wish to.
       | 
       | I used to think of it as the booze for a final stage alcoholic to
       | get a reaction from a drink.
       | 
       | https://www.raschvin.com/en/product/baeska-droppar-prima-sna...
        
       | sloped wrote:
       | I've noticed an increase in small distilleries creating their own
       | versions of Malort over the past five or so years. It reminds me
       | of the renaissance Fernet experienced 7 or 8 years ago. Malort is
       | definitely an acquired taste--taking a shot of it feels like
       | punishment--but if you enjoy bitter liquors, sipping some chilled
       | Malort after a heavy meal might not be unpleasant.
       | 
       | I'd guess that bitterness is the flavor most people are least
       | interested in exploring, and that makes sense. It doesn't seem to
       | have the same endorphin payoff as other tastes. It's an
       | interesting flavor, and I think you need to have an interest in
       | digging into unusual flavors before diving into the world of
       | bitter-forward spirits. I think it makes sense that the rise of
       | better cocktails has led to spirits like Malort seeing growth.
        
         | J_Shelby_J wrote:
         | Fernet is so good. Probably a good entry point to bitters. It
         | is so nice with Diet Coke.
        
         | mooreds wrote:
         | If I like Amaro, but haven't been a fan of Fernet, is Malort
         | worth a shot?
        
           | er4hn wrote:
           | Amaro is fairly sweet. Malort is closer to Jagermesiter, but
           | with a much more bitter flavor. I'd look into Becherovka if
           | you want something a little more "zesty"
        
         | mNovak wrote:
         | Besk has existed for a long time in Chicago, which I've heard
         | referred to as "good Malort." It has a brighter, anise-forward
         | flavor which puts it more in line with Italian amari.
        
         | jerlam wrote:
         | Most of the alternative, new Fernets I've tried want to be
         | "Branca, but more approachable", which takes away a lot of what
         | makes Branca so interesting. I don't know if "Malort, but less
         | bitter" is as marketable.
        
       | wlll wrote:
       | I (a brit) have drunk Malort on a few occasions. It's foul, I
       | only drank it because it was part of fun nights out with a group
       | of work friends. My ex boss' review "the worst thing I've ever
       | had in my mouth".
        
       | TheAdamist wrote:
       | I happen to enjoy malort, so there's probably something wrong
       | with me.
       | 
       | Malort has been seeing wider distribution recently, which i hear
       | may due to a buyout a while ago. Their website lists distribution
       | in Delaware, Maryland, DC, and randomly checking San Francisco
       | shows availability as well.
       | 
       | No more having to visit Chicago to purchase it enables a lot more
       | people to buy it and businesses to serve it.
       | 
       | The weird Chicago only malort variants do disturb me, but i would
       | try them.
        
         | kiernanmcgowan wrote:
         | The burnt rubber flavor does grow on you. Kinda like how black
         | coffee is a bit of an acquired taste.
        
           | MisterTea wrote:
           | From what I am reading Malort sounds like a bad combo between
           | a disgusting smokey scotch* and Fernet, a liquor that tastes
           | the way a public mens bathroom smells like on a hot day when
           | chilled.
           | 
           | And you compare that to black coffee? Shame on you.
        
             | tptacek wrote:
             | They're not even in the same universe. I don't love Fernet,
             | but I appreciate it, and can taste things in it; it tastes
             | like lots of different herbs and spices, some of them
             | unpalatable. On the other hand, to make homemade Malort,
             | simply mix Windex, Everclear, and sugar.
        
         | mNovak wrote:
         | The variants are what worry me; it seems to defeat the purpose
         | of a drink that built a reputation on being "unenjoyable" to
         | make it more palatable while using the brand name for cachet.
         | 
         | All that to say, I tried barrel aged Malort -- it mellows down
         | the flavor, so sure it's "better," but again what's the point?
         | There are plenty of better tasting shots out there.
        
         | jerlam wrote:
         | Malort has been available at Total Wine and More for over a
         | year. That's when I bought some and forced my friends into all
         | trying it, and they all agreed it was terrible.
        
       | some_random wrote:
       | I'm a complete weirdo apparently who really likes the flavor of
       | malort, it's bitter and herbal and so if you like those flavors
       | you'll enjoy it. I kinda resent the amount of marketing that the
       | new owners have churned out hyping it up, although I do
       | appreciate what they're doing.
       | 
       | If you think you might enjoy it, give it a shot I'd describe the
       | flavor as sweetened church pew, then grapefruit bitterness. If
       | you're not expecting it you'll almost certainly hate it, but it's
       | really not that bad.
        
         | lopatin wrote:
         | I love the ads:
         | 
         | "Malort: Weeding out Chicago's weak since 1934"
         | 
         | "Malort: When you need to unfriend someone in person"
        
         | wsatb wrote:
         | Every batch is different, some are more bitter than others. I
         | think the new owners were planning to change that, but I feel
         | like it hurts the appeal. The surprise is part of the fun.
         | 
         | I do not mind the taste, most of the time. Some bottles are
         | especially bad though.
        
           | wl wrote:
           | The batches being consistently less bitter is one of the
           | first things I noticed about new bottles after CH acquired
           | the brand.
        
         | tehalex wrote:
         | Malort is bitter, but not high proof, so I personally find it
         | much easier to drink than something with more alcohol (if just
         | talking about a shot...)
        
         | ryanchants wrote:
         | Yeah, they took a quaint little dive bar thing and are turning
         | it into a lifestyle brand.
        
         | stcroixx wrote:
         | I like it too. Reminds me of Akavit, which I love.
        
           | ambicapter wrote:
           | As someone who loves akvavit, I find Malort absolutely
           | disgusting.
        
         | devin wrote:
         | I find it just fine as well. I feel like a generation of
         | marketing around Malort was "it's really gross!", but it's a
         | distinct taste that I don't think a chunk of people would find
         | so offensive if they weren't heavily primed before trying it.
        
           | jknoepfler wrote:
           | I'd be curious how it fares internationally. To me it just
           | tastes to me like an anise liqueur with a pronounced
           | bitterness.
           | 
           | I wouldn't be in a hurry to take a big swig of it, but that
           | strikes me a little bit like taking a big swig of soy sauce
           | and concluding it tastes awful.
        
         | wenc wrote:
         | As a former Chicagoan I also enjoy Malort.
         | 
         | To my unstudied palate, it is the bitter cousin to
         | Jaegermeister. It's a bit more complex and more of a mature
         | drink compared to Jaegers.
        
         | Glyptodon wrote:
         | I tried it hoping it would be kind of vaguely like Absinthe
         | mixed with w/ grapefruit extract and quinine, but it just
         | tasted like burning gasoline or jet fuel to me.
        
           | droopyEyelids wrote:
           | This is where it gets tricky.
           | 
           | Malort is bottom shelf example of a "Bask" liquor.
           | 
           | https://wikipedia.org/wiki/Bask
           | 
           | There are much finer versions of it, and if you're in Chicago
           | Binnies carries one by Letherbee "Besk" and if you like that
           | bitter grapefruit/wormwood flavor, it is mana from heaven
           | 
           | https://www.letherbee.com/products
        
         | bunderbunder wrote:
         | I like mine neat with a couple dashes of bitters. It's a lovely
         | sipping drink.
         | 
         | I hate that whenever I try to order that at a bar, the
         | bartender thinks I'm just being an idiot to show off. I can't
         | see how it's any more of an acquired taste than something like
         | single malt or calvados. Which, coincidentally, also make for
         | thoroughly disgusting shots.
         | 
         | I wouldn't down half a tin of breath mints in one go, either.
        
       | theadultnerd wrote:
       | Love Malort, we serve it at my bar and it's absolutely something
       | that grows on people.
        
       | moribvndvs wrote:
       | Even just reading the word Malort gives me Malort face.
        
       | jboggan wrote:
       | My friends make a cocktail with Malort, White Monster, and C4
       | preworkout. They also have a multi-year running gag where they
       | offer me a bottle of fine whiskey or bourbon at a campfire but it
       | has in fact been replaced by Malort. Then, when I am choking and
       | gagging someone else offers me some water to wash away the taste,
       | which is in fact also Malort.
        
         | alana314 wrote:
         | That's so funny. Water doesn't even wash away the taste anyway
        
         | MisterTea wrote:
         | > My friends make a cocktail with Malort, White Monster, and C4
         | preworkout.
         | 
         | Fuck me I almost gagged reading that. The rest is just a horror
         | story. That would be the camping trip I return from alone and
         | immediately call a criminal defense lawyer.
        
         | tptacek wrote:
         | There remain jurisdictions in the United States where it is
         | legal to shoot someone for replacing water with Malort.
        
         | defen wrote:
         | > Malort, White Monster, and C4 preworkout
         | 
         | What do they call this cocktail? I suggest "Malortal Kombat".
        
           | twic wrote:
           | The Grand Malort Seizure?
        
       | hamburga wrote:
       | As a Chicagoan, I enjoy Malort regularly, and I like to chase it
       | with light beer. It makes the beer taste amazingly sweet.
        
         | kasey_junk wrote:
         | Try the exact same thing with Fernet instead. Or Averna, or
         | really any bitter Amaro. They will provide better flavors but
         | the same change to light beer.
        
       | rderewianko wrote:
       | https://archive.is/d30Rz
        
       | csmoak wrote:
       | the bar Little Brother in Austin has a fun deal. for $5, you roll
       | a d20 and if you get a 20 you get a shot of whistle pig. anything
       | 1-5 and you get a shot of malort.
        
         | otterley wrote:
         | What do you get if you roll 6-19?
        
           | csmoak wrote:
           | sliding scale of other liquors of varying subjective quality
        
       | kaffekaka wrote:
       | The usage of the name is cultural appropriation.
        
         | Kon-Peki wrote:
         | It was created by a Swedish emigrant. There's a lot of Swedish
         | history and people in Chicago, so much so that Sweden maintains
         | an honorary consulate general that has no official diplomatic
         | duties but is there to maintain relations and participate in
         | the many Swedish festivals that happen throughout the area.
        
       | cthalupa wrote:
       | It's basically a bottom shelf amaro. If you like amaros, you can
       | probably find malort palatable.
       | 
       | But bitterness is a very divisive flavor so lots of people just
       | have extreme reactions to amaros in general and malort in
       | particular.
        
       | tymski wrote:
       | I never understood why everyone hates this. I used to order a
       | round of shots for everyone at the bar and they all hated it.
        
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